Write me a good Roman Reigns promo, must be at least 2 paragraphs.
>>1155179
Heel or face? To sell what?
>>1155200
whatever you want
>This wrestlemania, I'm going to kick your fucking ass Triple H. Yeah you heard me right, all you little pussies and your overprotective cunt moms at home. I'm gonna kick Triple H's fucking ass. I'm sick and tired of everybody thinking I'm the nice guy.
>Just because I fight for what's good in this world, and fight against the bullshit Authority, doesn't mean that I have to be nice about it. I'm taking off my fucking gloves. After I whoop your ass at Wrestlemania, I'm changing the game. If you were a real man, and truly confident in your abilities, you'd bet me the company in our match. Do it bitch. You're not scared, are you?
>>1155232
>>1155238
>Why do I care what some gyppo, council fucking project rat has to say about my promos
>>1155179
Hello WWE Universe. My name is Roman Reigns. I am quitting.
I relinquish my belt to John Cena. He is a better man. Samoa is shit, goodbye.
>>1155179
I suck dick. [hold for boos] Wait a minute, hold on, not just any old dick. I suck big, fat, long, juicy, uncircumcised cocks. Why? Because real men, have real cocks.
Not you, HHH. I've seen your dick and it does not meet my standards. Short, skinny, mutilated, I'm like, "Damn, are you sure Steph's kids are yours? Is it even possible to inseminate with that thing?" That's why you're not a real man, HHH, because I've never sucked your dick.
And one more... [cue HHH music]
new smarkbusters is out
>>1155244
>how to spot a fat neckbeard
>>1155179
>BELIEVE
>THAT
>>1155251
By looking through your window?
>>1155251
Advertising is against the rules.
>>1155251
forgot the video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8F6lkork5YM
>>1155179
>I'm not hear to play games with *you people* I'm here to win gold, cash checks and kick ass. Im not interested in who you like, who you think deserves it. I. Deserve. It. Because I am the biggest dawg in this yard. And 'dere ain't nothing y'all can do about it. Believe That.
*mic drops and leaves*
*doesn't say anything else for 3 weeks*
Suffering succotash son and you gotta beleeb dat bbygurl.
Tater tots
Cena is struggling with Roman being the new corporate favorite after all his 'hard work', he opposes Reigns one day and completely fucks his shit in the ring. (yes Word Life is blaring)
Smarks immediately worship new heel Cena
Marks immediately worship good-guy Reigns and WWE retains a cash cow
Inject some furious rivalry
Wrestling is good again
BABY GURL
BELEB IN THE SHIELD
*Shield reforms with Roman at it's head and goes on to win all the gold with Ambrose picking up the womens championship*
>I am Roman Reigns and I am Samoan and I am very strong. As you can see I am very handsome, so therefore I am the good guy and therefore you should cheer me. If you don't cheer me than please realize that because I am very handsome and muscular, I have sex with a lot of attractive women.
>If any bad guys come out I will beat them and they will not beat me because I am stronger than them. I am Roman Reigns and I am Samoan. My championship belt means that there is nobody better than me so deal with it. I know it's difficult to tell because I'm wearing pants but I have a very big penis that has had sex with a lot of beautiful ladies.
>>1155289
I don't hate TBD
I just prefer BMJ
Have sex
>I did
>I will
>and I can
>>1155179
What up Baby Doll ;). Last night....at wrestlemanis....in....D-D-....Dallas Texas I beat the game, HHH The authority thought they could keep me down...but I got back up (lowercase !) I kept getting back up. HHH thought he could take me down with a sledgehammer, but its gonna take more than a sledgehammer to break a shield! (crickets).
I give HHH credit, he's one hell of a competitor, hell maybe the best. But now I'm the best, and aint't no one gonna take this belt from me. You...can...believe...TH--(cutoff by surprise entrance theme)
>>1155295
>telling me have sex when you live paycheck to paycheck
LEL
>>1155262
This is basically all he ever needs.
>>1155308
>he's still paying off his tendies
Tonight on RAW, comes out to thunderous boos, and finally acknowledges the crowd's response.
> You done, huh? I stand here the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion, having busted my ass all this time and for what? To have a bunch of fat, worthless nobodies show up and boo me at every event? Why? Because I don't deserve it? Because of how good looking I am? Because I don't remind you of some pale little vanilla midget internet hero like Daniel Bryan or CM Punk?
> At first I couldn't understand it, why I couldn't be loved by all of you. I did everything right. I worked so hard. And for all of this, you people turn around and treat me like nothing. I have had it. I don't care about any of you, any of this bogus charity crap WWE does, the precious little Timmies and Billies trying to waste my time for an autograph. The only reason I would show up in a dumpster fire of a city like Dallas is for the money, straight up. Thats what its about for me now, thats what it has always been about. The big dog is running this now, and its going to be my way, or no way at all. and you can believe that.
-Ambrose comes out and cuts shitty promo about muh brother-
-Reigns kills Ambrose in the ring with spears and chairs-
I just fixed Roman, your welcome.
>>1155365
GODDAMMIT TAKE MY MONEY
>>1155365
Now fix Ambrose and The Wyatts.
>>1155304
IT'S CM PUNK
>You know what Roman, before I made my UFC debut, I just had to come back and kick your ass
>>1155365
OP said Roman Reigns not Big Corbin
>>1155386
>before I made my UFC debut
So never?
>>1155262
He really is going to be an untalented and not terribly strong Batista 2.0, isn't he? How long until "coconuts don't hold grudges, my man."
>>1155392
In all actuality Corbin should debut tonight and cut a vicious promo about how WWE has a new threat to the landscape, how he won the battle royal, and then feed him a pair of jobbers in a handicap squash match. He has some work to do, but if you don't book him as a threat he will have no chance of getting better
>>1155314
>i rent my internet with my paycheck to paycheck check
>So Roman you're the WWE World Heavyweight Champion
>I won the Andre the Giant Battle Royale last night
>How about we team up together and crush the dreams of every midget in the roster
>"Let's do this my man"
>Squashes AJ Styles and Sami Zayn 30 seconds later
>>1155412
t. (You)
I am bigger than the WWE Universe. I am bigger than all of you. You think the show is about you, but it's really about me and my reign. That's right. So boo all you want, tweet about it to your stupid little friends, it makes no difference. I'm just going to destroy your heroes and get paid for it.
You don't like me because I'm bigger, and better than you. Guys like me shoved you in lockers and fucked your waifus.
That sellout crowd out there, that was all me. Do your stupid little chants, I'll still fuck your bitch with my massive samoan cock and make her lick my jizz off the title belt I just finished on. and you'll continue to pay for a network subscription and enjoy it because you'll also be a watcher; and me, I'll always be the outperformer.
>drops mic
>spears the first person he sees
>>1155232
Gold. I genuinely looked like an ass trying to subdue my laughter in class.
>>1155260
>First thing is them autistically bitching about the show being bad
>Less than 2 minutes in they're hating on based long island iced Z winning
I just realized this may be satire? No?
>>1155289
Advertising your own website breaks global rule 11
>>1155179
>All tag teams unite into Death League
>babyfaces losing and tortured for over half years
>going really personal and humiliating roman to the point where he´s like a suicidal dog begging to be hitted more
>morgan freeman walks into ring
>you gotta believe again roman. i believe in you. remeber when you said you can and you will, now´s the time. show us you still got the light
>Roman breaks the chains and is no longer a slave
>Authority stuff all over again but with more revenge-ish theme
>crowd giving huge pops when their annoying ass superstar has been punished forever
>retirement match in WM 33 where he loses and has to retire
>suprise comeback to beat Death League for good month later with new clothes in a 5 man tag team
>No DQ 10-10 match between punished roman´s squad and ultimate nemesis team
>Roman´s team wins, other team gets fired by Vince
>hires the other team back later but with no combined storyline and all returns to basic RAW/Smackdown match rotation
would it sell?
>>1155572
That sounds incredibly, monumentally retarded.
Almost impressively so.
>>1155771
well its grown ass naked men pretending to slap each other in front of 10 year old kids while pretending they´re not gay i thought you guys like the retarded things in WWE :^)
>>1155232
>13 year old fantasy booking.webm
Honestly, Roman would do so much better if he didn't have any promos
If they want to sell him as a hothead, SHOW him being a hothead. Have him randomly attack heels because he's some crazy vigilante.
It's much better than "tater tots"
Contrary to what the Authority thinks, and wants you to believe, I am not going to say that I now appear before you as the WWE Champion. Because we won the Championship. The Roman Empire did. I said that I can and will defeat HHH at WrestleMania, and I did that. But as long as I hold this belt, I'm swimmin' with the sharks - and with a few whales like those among you who are booing me right now. And the only way through this storm is with my brothers beside me. Not just those in the WWE but those in the WWE Universe.
Now, I'm not going to say they put up a good fight. Because they already know that; everyone who watched WrestleMania does. But they didn't use the brains that they're always bragging about. I bet they told themselves that I myself don't have one and they wouldn't need it.
Now I'm at the mountain top. And I'm still going to reach for the stars because I am and will be the best of the best in WWE. And you can believe that.
>>1155179
>I get it, I get the boos. You don't like me, you think it's my fault for what the monkeys in suits do in the back. But you know what? I don't care. I come out here, I kick your favorite wrestler's ass and get paid to do it. You pay to buy your little replica championship belts and I get paid to wear the REAL DEAL.
>Seth isn't coming to save you, Dean isn't coming to save you, and neither are any your indy darlings coming to save you. They spent years honing their skills. But me? I was born into it, it's in my blood. The WWE doesn't belong to the old man or the Authority and it damn sure doesn't belong to any of you. Because at the end of the day, the kids around you want this belt around my waist and my name across their shirts. The WWE belongs to me.
Ambrose comes out to interrupt and question why he's suddenly gone insane and then we can have a joke about the Lunatic Fringe calling Roman the crazy one. Roman spears Ambrose.
>Look at that, one spear, just like every time. All it takes to keep you down, huh BROTHER?
Roman then just beats Ambrose down until Cena comes out to make the save at which point Roman ducks out of the ring and takes his title with him. Cena and Roman exchange some words from the ring and catwalk respectively.
Heel turn complete. Cena v Roman program set up. I even buried my boy Ambrose further for you, Vince.
>>1155262
This works. Short, effective, and most importantly, Ramen could actually say something like this.
