Me and gf got in a drunk argument the other night, she wouldn't stop calling me an asshole, etc, and I ended up basically leaving without saying much (we were both really frustrated/sad/pissed, mind you.) Before I left she even said "I hope we'll talk about this tomorrow but I assume you might not want to talk to me again after tonight" a little before I left.
2 days passed and I calmed down and decided to text her "hi" and no response. Next day I explain that I didn't want to stick around in the cold for someone to yell rude remarks at me and I felt disrespected and left. Still no response. Few hours later I say look we really shouldn't end this over the bad night the other night.
Well, going on the 4th day and nothing. What would you do in my situation? My options (unless you have others) are:
1) Just ignore from here on out. No more texts. Ever.
2) reply with "fuck it. you weren't that special anyway. take care." or a variation of that.
3) reply with "well at least have the decency to reply with something so i know where we stand"
4) reply with "i have a recording of the last few minutes of our conversation before i left, and yeah you were being an absolute piece of shit. would you like to hear it?" (this one might seem psycho)
5) reply with "i take your lack of replies as we're over. alright. don't bother ever talking to me again because i'm just going to block and delete your # and everything. delete my number. good riddance, you drunk mess."
or
6)if you don't reply by tonight i assume it's safe to say i can "move on" by tonight and start mingling again.
OR
7) Aw babe don't be like that. You wanted to talk about it when things calmed down so let's talk about it. If you are done, have the decency to say so otherwise I'm just deleting and blocking everything by tonight and moving on.
1, 3, or 7 are your best options. Everything else is desperate or petty and you're going to hate yourself. Or give it a couple of more days then send 3 or 7.
>>16445676
this is all more or less the same two choices OP. here is the thing: you are giving her wayyyy too much power. each of your responses are designed to ellicit a reaction or ask her permission.
if she can be either mad or infantile enough not to respond to you, why should you care about her enough that you and basically asking her permission to be single.
man up, and either say 'you got 1 hour to respond to me or were done' or simply 'were breaking up.
if you want her back, give her the 1 hour. dont budge on this. if you are tired of her shit, tell her you are done. DONT ASK HER IF YOU GUYS ARE DONE. dont say you are taking her silence as breaking up. say 'fuck this, ur ignoring me, so im dumping you.'
be a man, geez.
I feel like 2 would get a response though. I know how people work. Pretty much ignoring or letting them know they weren't that special will ring something inside of them.
>>16445689
>be a man
hey what if the roles were reversed? it works the same pretty much right? just wondering am in somewhat similar situation although not really
>>16445689
This is a really good insight, thanks anon...
So what's the best way to word it, and should i do it now or just ignore her and see what happens? Something like this happened a month ago and I sent a text explaining myself but after no response I didn't say anything for like a week and she said she missed me -_- I don't COMPLETELY blame her for ignoring me, we get in fights and I walked off without talking by the end of the night the other night myself.
1 is the only answer.
She had her chance to make amends in your relationship. It's obvious she doesn't want to reconcile. Neither should you.
>>16445676
Number six, non-aggressive go fuck yourself
>>16445703
>what if the roles were reversed
then id tell the girl to be a woman. sexist history aside, there is nothign wrong with implying that you need to be the 'adult' term used for your gender.
>>16445711
>what is the best way to do it
literally by just texting her one of those two choices i gave her, whichever one is more relevant to you.
either you want her back, or you dont. if you want her back, give her that limited window of 'respond by X' or were done.
if you are done with this shit, just tell her its over. its as simple as that.
>>16445743
oh ok i was just wondering if you would say the same thing pretty much works for either gender
OP here. Fuck this I'm getting all sort of replies.
;_;
I realize the people I was the most hurt over in the past were the one who simply did not give a fuck. Not the ones to be mad at me or beg for me back or yadda yadda, but the ones that ignored me...
But I think I will end up doing what >>16445746
I just don't want things to end on the note that they did...
>>16445765
>i dont want them to end on the note they did
most relationships, especially romantic ones, will only ever end in anger and sadness. its the nature of passion. having your soul mate doesn't mean happily ever after, it means lots of excitement, but that comes with a lot of drama.
so unless you want to make up and then attempt to date until one of you die, there isnt much of an option. even if you try to make it an ammicable break up, it sounds like she'll get mad regardless. which is normal.
but yeah, i feel you. i dont deal with anyone who can purposely ignore me. not worth the trouble at all.
>>16445772
that's true... shit...
Well what's the point of relationship then damnit. I wish I was alright with being alone forever besides friends and family. A partner/lover is just trouble, really. Countless experiences should have taught me this.
And I am pretty mad at her myself. She was being a dick.
In every past situation, I would be the pathetic one to be like "hey let's make it work ://" even if I wasn't that into them because I'm forgiving and like company a lot.. I should learn from my mistakes and try to be the dick for once.
>>16445797
you try framing single moments as positive / savoring them to change your brain. it will make you happier as a single person.
>they are only trouble.
they aren't really. i mean if you are hoping to find that one true perfect woman and marry and fall in love and move in and have kids and grow old and die, id recommend putting that drem to rest. and when you do, think about what that really means.
most people just imagine a nice house and lounging around and coming home from work and seeing their wife.
they dont think about the coming home to a mess, seeing the pile of bills, your wife being moody or bitchy, etc. think little strokes, not broad ones.
life is more exciting when you open yourself up to dating, but not so much that you NEED a partner. be your own wingman, and just go on adventures with some people. if they warrant a sequel, thats great. and i dont mean just one night stands, but just enjoy people while you can, and move on when you don't. life is about growing and developing. you need those bad moments, but you also need those good moments.
remember that something isn't beautiful because it lasts -- according to that superman copycat from the new avengers movie.
cut your current partner out of your life, learn to enjoy being single with the frame of mind savoring trick, and then wait til a cool partner comes along, and enjoy it while its still enjoyable.
Ho-ree shit she messaged me back.
>>16445822
Did you write what you were told? Or she answered from the messages from before?
What did she say?
>>16445841
I didn't say anything, she just said 'hey i'll call you when i get back from out of town
... :L i.. think we're good?
>>16445908
only if you want to be. OP, you have to make a decision. do you want to get back together, or do you want to break up? you can't waiver just because maybe she might want to get back together after shes done slutting up out of town
>>16445908
What exactly is it that you want though?
>>16445676
kill yurself lol jk
>>16445921
>>16445924
OP here. I'm actually a grill and it's a guy, but I've been met with a lot of shitty sexist attitude and no real advice whenever I mention the opposing so I just pretending I was a boi~
I wonder, he probably did hoe it up out of town... He was visiting some party friends after all. Hmm.
Well, he asked me to be his gf 2 weeks ago and I haven't fully agreed yet, so it's not like we'd still be back together and when I see him I'm going to let him know I want to still take things slow and consider which in turn will give me power... while I decide if we're honestly compatible.
thx friends
>>16445908
How do you know they haven't cheated while out of town?
>>16445952
Tbh he seems to treat you a little shit, and not very mature.
Also you shouldn't leave like that and not talk in days either. Unless it was just drama from his side and the best way is to go away to let everyone calm down. You should actually say "this is just getting worse, let's calm down and talk about it when we're not angry"
But what can you expect of people that start fighting when drunk... That was the first mistake.
He might also be playing the macho careless guy so you apologize or chase him or whatever.
I'm not fond of those games. But you guys might be young.
This honestly seems to be way more hassle and bullshit than it's worth.
Get out of Dodge, OP.
>>16445959
to be fair someone can ask themselves that at anytime, not just being out of town
Well doesn't sound like you have the sturdiest relationship anyway. I'd say "the argument we had was stupid [explain why it was silly, what you did wrong, and explain why you were frustrated with her] but it was just that - a stupid drunken argument. I don't want to end things like this over something like this." then something like I care about you and we should sort this out. Give her an ultimatum of a week (don't say 1 hours, you're not fucking Robocop). And if she doesn't reply consider yourself dumped and move on.
Playing stupid games or being an asshole won't get you back together. Just be honest and leave the ball in her court.
>>16445960
we're 23 lol so kinda young but idk.
It's only been about 3 months of being casual and yeah there's a few flags already... I really want to stop drinking anyway, especially since starting this new medication so things might turn out diff we'll see. And people, including him, have said he gets kinda annoying or assholeish when drunk so.. RED FLAG KEK.
Hey thanks a lot anon, means a lot to have people respond and give feedback/insight where I'm being blind because ~muh feelings~
>>16445982
no worries. Hope you sort it out.
I know it's stupid to say it like this, but really, objectively try to see what's going on, and imagine if you want to take things like that in the future. But also think of your own faults.
Always try to be giving, don't be an ass that always takes and takes, and criticizes and sees the faults in others.
If after that, it's still shit and unpleasant with dramas and games. Leave and don't look back.
It will be painful, but make sure you want that choice, and then go for it 100%
>1
Decent option, but not that satisfying since you gave the last reply and it gives her ammunition to frame you as the bad guy when she does reply. Also makes it easier to still reply to her because you won't backpedal on something definite and don't lose face.
>2
No. Just showcases your butthurt and is petty.
>3
No. You will hate yourself if she never replies to that and it's the note you end things on.
>4
No no no. Again, highlights your anger and how much she got to you and will never get a remotely positive response out of her.
>5
Too much fucking butthurt man...
>6
Obvious attempt to make her jealous, just looks sad to her no doubt.
>7
Fucking retarded.
How about this: "Okay, your call then. Godspeed."
Never reply to anything she ever sends you again. You have nothing to look back on that is embarrassing, and it was infuriate her that your last word was something cordial and mature. If she sends you angry or desperate texts when drunk (spoiler, she will) she will loathe it even more that the last she ever heard from you was stand off-ish but reasonable and polite. This is the way to get to her and leave with your dignity intact. Do not block her until she starts messaging her, if she does ignore her, as soon as she says anything nasty block her without a word.
