I have not seen this thread today so i'll start the train.
Hey /Adv/ I have been lurking here for a while and now i want your point of view on things.
I'm in 2 year of Hige school, male, INTP, with dysgraphia. Shit is starting to hit the fan. I sleep over alot, not able to do the work assigned in school and I don't meet my friends alot anymore. I get shit pissed drunk everyweekend. Well Basicly I have no structure in my life and people around me worry. I'm already talking to a psychologist. I have so much shit to do that i lose energi just thinking about it, were shold i start?
I've never had a GF, I came very close at one point, but then she turned into a bitch and I stopped liking her, then later in my school years I had bad experiences with social interactions and bad experiences with girls. Now i'm too anxious and afraid to even talk to people in public, I can talk to some guy or woman if its in a work environment and its calm, but too many people around makes me feel more anxious and afraid.
1. Stop drinking.
2. Ask school/teachers for help, don't they have sessions for people who have a hard time writing? My school offers to read ones papers before we send them in if you got dyslexia or any other form of a disadvantage. Raise your concerns to the school, ask for help, you can't receive any if you do not want to put the effort into it. So ask for help, and truly try do the best you can of what they ask of you.
3. Take care if your sleeping pattern. No naps during the day. Go to bed early if it helps, get up when you have to.
4. Set aside an hour or two for school work every day, it will also get rid of the loneliness feelings if you focus on something else.
5. Prioritize your workload. Make a list of assignments you need to have done, include their dates. Just take one assignment at a time, finish it and cross it of the list. Don't focus on all your assignment as once as this will lead to stress and anxiety. Just take mini steps.
6. When you want to quit, tell yourself you'll do it for ten more minutes. If you want to quit after that, you can take a break for 30 minutes. Award yourself with something you find nice or fun. Often people quit because they get stuck by some kind of hurdle, which can easily be broken if they just give it some extra time – if you find yourself completely stuck though after several tries – ask your teachers for help.
7. Exercise. I know, it's horrible. But even ten minutes a day is a good start and will make you feel better even if you hate it. It can be ten minutes of walking if you wish.
8. Get them veggies and slaughter them underneath those choppers. Cut down on soda and sugar, it makes you cranky.
>>16428097
With your bad habits.
Why is it so hard for somebody to just give me the line to say after cold opening with "hi".
>>16428180
"How's it going"
>>16428157
Thanks, alot mate. I will try to do it. I wish your good luck in your life. //OP
>>16428180
Depends on your situation but this dude >>16428199
is preety much right.
If it's about woman, read the ''The book of Pook'' Pdfs all around the internet.
>>16428216
"How's it going" is actually legitimately helpful. Which is silly because I know how to have normal conversations, but approaching people is so outside my realm of experience it's absurd, it's like I need to relearn conversational fundamentals again. Like... I know them, but I can't get myself to make the connections to apply them to cold openings.
>>16428239
Depends on the situation, if its business
How's it going? (wait for response and/or comment) I'm X from (department/section) and (insert what you need to get done here)
Thanks, have a good one
I'll talk to random people I don't know if I think they're interesting or If I'm bored
My favorite method of breaking the ice is talking shit to them in a joking way
>>16428286
That sounds a little too much like negging, but I'll at least give boring old "How's it going" a try. I'd probably just actually offend them, or badly gauge what normal people would think is funny.
>>16428327
>negging
For your own sake stop thinking about stupid PUA terms
Men insult each other all the time for fun
banter m8
I made it to second base with a wonderful girl for the first time and I can't stop thinking about how soft her breasts and mons pubis are!
The way she moans and squirms against my body whenever I touch her sensuous parts drives me wild!
Internet, porn, youtube.
This is your life now. 8 to 12 hours every day. This is why I don't want sex anymore. I'm not tired or sick physically, just with the person you really are. Thanks for pretending to be someone with ambition and a zest for life for so long. You're lazy and will regret wasting all this time one day. If your mind survives. It's already failing if you can't make the connection to why you can't stay hard all the time. Here I'll help. Read the first sentence for answer...
>>16428097
A+C+N +$ -$ = 0 x ? = 0
>>16428097
Armchair psychologists in these threads sure don't know what they're talking about. Reminds me of a guy named blue and his blue cohorts from effiel 65. Yes it was a catchy song but it also covered depression as well. Over all I would recommend this song to armchair psychologists worldwide.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BinWA0EenDY
Fuck you. Fuck. You. I have every damn right to get angry over mass-messages you include me in, especially when it's totally inappropriate. Don't get snippy with me and expect me to apologize. You made the first move. I'm fucking done with apologizing for your behaviour. You're fucking manipulative - you know I hate arguing and feel bad when others have their feelings hurt, even if they deserve it. How many fucking times have I gotten upset with you over something insensitive you said, only for you to turn it into a sob story of how stressed you are and how you didn't mean it, which makes me feel like a piece of shit.
You're emotionally manipulative, controlling, petty, jealous and manage to hide it under the guise of a total sweetheart who would do anything for me and move hell and high water if I wanted it.
Fuck you and fuck everything about you.
>>16428569
Haha this was my ex.
Fuck you M, you sloppy fucking manchild. The house is cleaner, I'm happier, and things are actually moving forward without you. And I've had AWESOME sex since you left, because I realized it wasn't me all this time, it was you.
>>16428750
I mean the post describes my ex, not -is- my ex
I have two good part-time jobs, dating this really hot girl from uni, have nearly $2,000 USD stashed up in the bank and counting, I'm in a great band with my best friend and make music a lot with my best mates,but i'm still not allowing myself to be happy.
Why is that? I am so heart-set on restricting myself from breaking free of past failures and mistakes. I just continue to have this desire to stay malignant and shell up.
I harp on myself constantly for having dropped out of college for a semester, but I know I'm going back. I let the words of my father get at me, and the threats of my angry aunt scare me out of living my life.
Once I can afford to get an apartment of my own, I'm never saying hi to any of my family ever again. They never fucking cared about me anyways.
>>16428725
Looks like you're projecting once again. Are you sure about what you are saying or are you just frustrated you aren't getting the result you wanted? What people like you seem to ignore is responsibility for your own actions. People who accuse others of manipulation use the exact same methods themselves. No one will be nice to you or be a sweetheart to you after you have betrayed their trust. An eye for an eye make the whole world blind. If a person is gone from your life stop trying to guilt trip them.
Not talking to you, just centing about these types of mentally ill people.
She won't talk to me. She won't even have a conversation with me. I have no idea if she cares about me or if she can even stand me. If we reach 7 or 8 days I'm probably just gonna call it all quits. Hop on a bus and go somewhere. Get a weird job. Something. Whatever a young dumb man can do to get their mind off of one of the only people he gives a shit about.
HOW IN THE FUCK DO YOU "FIND YOURSELF"?
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WANT OUT OF LIFE
WHERE IN THE FUCK DO YOU FIND DIRECTION?
>>16428819
I'm with you on that plan. I don't quite share your problems with girls but I could use a trip. Some people are more problems than they are worth and are usually the loudest complainers as well. I can finally say I'm getting close to just figuring out something and will be closing this chapter for good.
>>16428823
Through life. You try new things, you talk to people, you listen to music, you live your life... And it comes to you. It might not be exciting, it might not happen fast, but that's how it happens. Talk to people who care about you, spend time doing the things you love, work hard... You'll find your direction.
Mom is being a bitch today.
I hope dad comes home and yells at her since today she really deserves it for once. Especially after I took time out of my day yesterday to let her vent about how shitty my brother is being because his ass his getting divorced.
>>16428823
A man is forged in the fires of war
>>16428823
I DON'T KNOW I'M NOT PAID ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THE MEANING OF LIFE GO FIND IT YOURSELF
There's a reason people say they feel alive after doing something a stagnant person will find incredibly stupid. It's because they conquered their fear. Fear is there for you to break. Break your fears and live life.
slowly entering neet mode
I'm killing myself within the next 9 days
>>16428871
>tfw entering neat mode
>tfw meat & bread dough
feelgoodbruhujelly
Damn I miss my cousins.
Hopefully I will be able to spend time with them this Christmas.
They came to visit us last year's Christmas, but I doubt that they will be able to come this year. Just watching christmas shows together from the tv was super comfy.
I love those girls so damn much.
>>16428890
brah, kek'd
>>16428915
Holy fuck you again
>>16428936
So?
M; I went to Lidl today to buy some stuff (garlic bread) and there was this guy, old grandpa, but he smelled just like you, had the the same cologne or deo or aftershave, whatever, so I trailed after him a bit, sniffing like mad until he gave me this wink wink look, you know the one young girls get from old farts, and I had to give up and pay for my unhealthy food. Anyway, I miss you.
>>16428887
Read or watch documentaries about Aliester Crowley before you die. The truth about him was he was demonized now. But yet he remained a high ranking exceptional man for his time. He influenced many secret organizations and westernized religions to this very day.
"He was my nigga"
-Ghandi
>>16428993
Seems too incoherent to be interesting, like he was all over the place
Thanks for the idea, still going to kill myself
>>16429033
cmon anon, do you really need to? did you piss off a mafia or are you over a million dollars in debt?
I miss her, adv, and the thought of not talking to her kills me. This is a lesson in caring about people, don't fucking do it. I know that sounds autistic as hell but I don't care, if shit actually continues to be bad with us I'm gonna avoid caring for people for a long time. Years maybe. Cause this hurts too much.
I am failing a university course and feel like I let my whole family down. Especially my dad who believes so much in me, when I don't believe in myself.
>>16429074
Can you maybe salvage your grade? At least pass it, even if it's a 51% (or whatever constitutes a pass). Talk to your prof, they might let you do extra assignments or something. It's worth a shot, cause a lot of people don't even try, so if you show your professor that you care, there may still be hope.
>>16428611
? = 0
There are two guys I can't stop thinking about right now. One, I gave up seeing because I took a sick day and gave up a few stores, his being included. The other, I could probably take a short walk and see him, assuming he's working.
Ooh life.
>>16429131
0 symbolizes an egg of oppurtinity! and ? symbolizes a man who use to be depressed but has found hope. And 0 means infinity and wisdom. Also do not do drugs.
>tfw all it would take to get your life where you want it is just talking to people and making some connections, but you can't even do that
wish you'd text me back babe. but I know you're gonna forget about getting back to me tonight. feelsbadman. you'll text other people as I'm talking to you... but you don't give me the same treatment if you're with other people.
sometimes I do really wonder how important I am to you. actually a lot of the time I wonder how important I am to you.
then when you get home tonight, are you gonna tell me about your day? or are you going to just say, it was good? sometimes feels like you don't want to include me in your life, or worse, evasive.
so here I am alone with my anxiety until you get home. though chances are you're gonna get home late, act exhausted, and barely talk to me.
it's happened before. feels real shitty.
>>16429231
and I get shit when I react to being treated like I'm not at all important in your life.
got a headache and feel like throwing up. guess I'll go for a drive. maybe get some cigarettes.
>>16429193
>tfw too many friends
>tfw politics of influence
I told you man I'm immune to your system! I'm going to the hyperbolic time chamber.
P.S
I took all the senzu beans
>>16429241
This bro knows how to sidestep the friendzone.
worried af tobh senpais, every choice seems like a mistake and there's not enough information to think of a solution no matter how hard I try. My head just isn't in the right place for your shit.
what a stupid game lol
>>16429231
reading this through again, those are all real bad signs. and you wonder why I don't trust you.
>>16429241
>>16429254
I wish I was in on the joke too q.q
>>16429259
>worried af tobh senpais
wtf is this supposed to say?
>>16429277
Worried as fuck, to be honest, family(s) (minus the ily, senpai comes up as senpai)
>>16429059
Dude I can't fucking go through the holidays alone again. And I don't have any optimism anymore. Everyone would be happier if I didn't exist anyway
uuuuuughhhhh *long ass sigh*
I fucking hate anxiety. starting to get an adrenaline surge. here comes the restlessness.
gonna lose my mind if I stay home right now.
I'm taking two hard classes this semester. Should be two easy ones after that, then after 5-6 years I'll have a business/IT degree, a couple certs, and good work experience (I work part time in a data center/NOC).
I have a good GPA. Latin Honors are a possibility, or at least they were, before this. I'm probably going to get an A in the degree capstone class, a class that has a reputation as being hard as shit.
But I came 5 points out of 400 short of getting a C (passing) a Business Stats course last spring. Putting graduation off, yet another semester. Probably if the fat, old, unintelligible sack of shit had shown up the first 2 class sessions, I'd have passed. So I emailed him at the end of the semester, asking if I could see my grades more closely. Sure, sure, come up at this time, he replied. Went up there, fucker was nowhere to be found. Emailed him, said "hey, must have missed you, can I re-sechedule?" No fucking response.
I worked fucking hard on that class. Harder than anything else. Stats is not my thing, but I busted ass.
So, taking it again this semester. Probably a coin flip if I will pass it. Professor this time is nice, but it's getting to the point where I can't stay the whole class because I am just filled with fucking rage and I have to leave or I'll lose my shit.
I'm not taking this fucking class again. If I don't pass, I'll quit this fucking school. This is humiliating. No degree for me, two classes away, one of the better students in the college, even passed my fucking degree capstone with honors. All because of this one class, whose department is a fucking travesty, is not at all fucking needed for what I am doing with my life.
I'm really, really, really fucking pissed off. I can barely type this out, to be honest. I really want to be made whole because these fucking academic pieces of shit have taken the best years of my life from me.
Short of that, I really want to hurt some people bad.
>>16429254
>getting stuck in the friendzone
>not sacrificing everything to enter the twilight zone
>not coming back when it's too late
>not being in the year 2020 when there's only a few human survivors left
>not literally being in the bonezone
I don't know this abstract feel.
I'm currently failing 3/3 as a freshman in college, yet my family thinks I'm doing decent, and doing the homework. I haven't done jack shit for either of my classes, I honestly don't know why I'm in college. I mostly go from, my perspective, to be in a social environment and get out, but I have learned a bit through lectures, it's just that this is not what I expected from college, and I'm completely unmotivated and have been smoking cannabis as a crutch once again.
I spend 16 hours a day in bed.
I have purposefully alienated people in my life in fear of them finding out something about me.
I don't attend anything besides some labs.
I don't know what I need to do in my life and 2 different therapists have done nothing for me.
I have like 2-3 things left in my life that I still enjoy.
What do I actually do?
Everybody I job interview with wants me out of the building as quickly as possible.
>>16429280
W-what happened to y-your sempai!?
i wonder what it's like waking up feeling happy about being alive
>likes boy (he'll be Q) for 3+ years, gets rejected twice
>friends don't get why Q doesn't like me, I'm decently attractive & smart w/ similar interests and hes always complaining about tfwnogf. I give up & a friend in our circle asks me out
>Q refuses to hang out with us and talks a bunch of shit on me
>relationship w/ friend doesn’t work out, we break up
>Q kind of ignores me now but is occasionally nice
I just don’t get it bc all of us always had a good time & got along, so did he get jealous? This all happened over a course of 3 months, starting w/ my final rejection. I hate that I still care about him and I really want our group back (he kind of split the crew), can I do anything about this or am I gonna have to wait it out or move on?
I live in a flat with 2 girls.
One I get on fine with, we're chatting in the kitchen for ages about south park and world of warcraft and just fuck whatever it doesnt matter.
The other, doesnt talk to me, because we slept together a few weeks ago when we got drunk, and then she told her girlfriend, and then they broke up
But now they're back together.
And we still arent talking. And then her and her girlfriend walk into the kitchen. My other house mate says hi to them, it all seems very friendly other than the fact that I'm just standing there staring at my phone. I mustered a little wave while sipping my team when hello's were exchanged
God damn its so fucking awkward I've just retreated to my bedroom. I just wanna pretend it never happened and be comfy with my housemates again
>my face the entire time
Family never noticed me and it makes me cry
Why can't you answer the question? I've made my goals clear that I wanna date you when you come back in town, any time I try and talk about what are we going to do or how you feel all I get is "I have feelings and they scare me" well fuck you! You scare the hell out of me. I've gauged this question a lot and you outright ignore them and then talk to me like you never saw it. If you don't wanna date then fucking tell me I feel like you're just leading me on so I can be your orbiting beta fuck. You make me wanna commit murder more so than ever. I'm this close to just cutting contact with you entirely cause you make me feel like shit despite being nice and stuff.
Pls notice me anon desu it's make my day
Senpai didn't notice me again today
I'm dying yu
I DON'T WANNA BE WITH MY GF ANYMORE.. the sex is not that good.. We don't communicate very well.
but....
My family loves her, it's time for me to settle down and i don't think i will find anyone better.
We live together, she owes me a lot of money. She is a good kindhearted person. i don't want to hurt her.
Im in the military and will be leaving my hometown for a few years, i know that means my friendships will likely fall apart but there are a few that i really want to try to maintain i just wont be ale to communiacate a lot. I also learned today that one of them who is like my younger sister sucked this douchebags dick which is really bothereing me since shes like the furthest thing from a slut, or was.
>>16429351
Maybe you smell bad
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT
The girl that I'm trying to rebuild my relationship with told me she was talking with some guy last night after we've been split up for two months. After that we agreed that we're going to be friends with benefits (We've fucked well over 20 times), go out and all that. We agreed that she wouldn't be talking with anyone and neither would I. But this happened yesterday, and I'm honestly having a problem trusting her. What do I do
Getting sex is so ridiculously hard.
It's just me, or you are really throwing a lot of indirects to me? The other day I tried to small talk to you, but you went with all dry monosyllables, if you were upset with me.
If you want to talk to me, just do it, you know that I don't have any drama in talking with you again; but I can't understand why you do these indirects and then act all upset.
I miss you sooo fucking much, and I hate you for making me feel this way when it clearly doesn't tear you apart. you've moved on with your life and your doing good and I guess im happy for you. but im lonely, im all alone in this fucking place, trying to put that fake smile on my face and get through each day with the fucked up mistakes of the year I thought we would run away from that town and be together. I hope you still use this website, and I hope you read this. I hope you see this and instantly think of me, even if you talk yourself into believing it was written by foreign hands. I fucking love you, even though its wrong, and it makes no sense. we both lied. we both hurt people, I consumed all of the blame and you left. without a trace or fucking warning you were done. game over. and here I am a year later, still thinking of you and drowning in my pathetic emotions. why did any of that even happen? was this all for your enjoyment? I was told you get a sick fill from watching others fall, if this was the case, wish granted. I am beside myself tonight.
>>16428915
I wonder if you would love, in a platonic fashion of course, your cousins so much if they were male...
The lonelier I feel, the farther I push away people. I'm so sad and needy right now, I wish there was anyone to pay me a bit of attention.
>>16429852
don't feel lonely anon, im here.
I just want to lie in bed and wait to die. I don't even know how I survived this long. Surely there was something before this, but I don't remember. I don't know how to get out. Everything's disappearing.
>>16429899
Shit man. I know what it's like to be where you are and let me tell you, it is a hard ride. Just remember that it's worth sticking around. You have a long life ahead of you with lots of things to do.
I'm a 21 years old kissless virgin. I'm awkward and things haven't gotten better.
I have virtually no conversational partners, and I'm someone who really needs to have engaging conversations. I feel all alone, like I can only talk to myself in my head. I'm really not happy with my situation, but haven't had any luck fixing it. I found one person who is a good conversational partner, but she doesn't really respond to any of my messages outside of work. Guess she's not interested in talking to me if it's not about work.
So here I am. I talk to myself in my head all day, because only a few people ever talk with me.
>>16429913
I just wanted to say thanks for responding. I don't know what I'm going to do about this, but it means a lot right now just to be acknowledged.
I got my shit together just enough the other day to try contacting my friends, I just wanted to get out of the house with someone, but every single one of them just ignored me. I feel like I'm a ghost.
im 21
tried to get a job for 4 whole years but ive given up
still live with parents
cant get a boyfriend because im gay and live in wisconsin which is a fucking conservative nuthouse
came out of the closet to my friends but they all left me because they "believe in the bible, not homosexuality"
my 14 year dog is being put down on tuesday
diagnosed with ocd, autism, adhd, severe depression and anxiety for 10 years and it gets worse every year and meds and therapy arent working
so afraid of all forms of denial that i practically never leave my room anymore
i cry eveyday
i cant handle this anymore
i want to die someone please kill me i cant do this anymore nothing makes me smile anymore
this world has turned me into a depressive lonely hopeless sorry excuse for a human and i cant stand this heavy weight on my shoulders and this empty feeling in my heart anymore
Life is fucking awesome right now
Everything is going well and im very happy
I do have a thought in the back of my mind though, i am afraid to lose everything
I've lost before, and im afraid it will happen again
I am so fucking unto you Caleb. I'm cool with the fact you rejected me. But don't get why. You are attracted to me too. Who cares about social norms? You're too intelligent for that. So many fantasies about us. Trying hard to forget about you.
So about 2 months ago my brother left a voicemail bitching about my other brother how he's selfish for only contacting us to pitch in for group presents for our dad.
I worked a 14 hour shift that day so I told him Im not gonna deal with his shit and he needs to watch what he says about his family because said brother has a family of his own that he has to provide for unlike us.
I decided to fly home for 10 days to visit my Dad cause I havent seen him in 2 years and the brother decided to fly out on the specific days too.
I thought things were going okay with minor complaints up until an hour ago when brother started drinking and blocked my way to the microwave and tried to start some drama by saying, "why havent you looked me in the eye the entire time you been back"
I told him Im not in the mood for this shit and just disregarded him.
Have I been purposely avoiding him? No. Subconciously? Probably. After spending 40 hours with the guy, I just dont like how he carries himself. He's annoying, greedy, and has to be the center of attention. Shorhorns himself into every conversation with his big fish. I dont complain. I dont mind being a background character. Let him do what he pleases.
Secretly I thought of being a shitty brother to him just so he takes back his opinion on my other brother from way back at the start of the story but it looks like its gonna happen anyway without me even doing anything.
Overall...am I a shitty person?
i've been depressed for awhile, and was diagnosed with major depression four years ago. i'm slowly trying to get my life back together and i'm going back to school.
i still have really bad episodes though and i think it's affecting my schoolwork. i often try to hold back tears in the middle of class and i cry for no reason. i'm just really tired and i have no motivation. i don't feel a desire to hang with any friends and some of them are noticing that i have become a bit more reserved lately.
i've relapsed too with self harm, it sounds stupid but i just had the strongest urge. how do i even control this? i do not want people finding out about my issues, but i am just so tired. i don't want to do anything
>>16430197
Shit that is your fault:
Can't get a job.
Live in a shitty place.
Not going outside.
Shit that isn't your fault:
Gay
Mental health
So sort out the first shit, then being gay won't be a problem and your mental health will improve. There isn't a person on this planet who won't go fucked in the head with nobody to love and nothing to do. Go get a shit job, save up 2/3 thousand dollars, get on a bus to the place you'd most like to live in the world, get a shit job again, get an apartment, go on meetup.com or whatever the fuck you want to do, and BUILD yourself a real fucking life. Nobody else can or will do it for you.
>>16430333
you dont get it
ive applied to all the shitty jobs
wal mart. mcdonalds, burger king, factories, county market, ALL of them several dozen times
I don't want you to feel like you need to avoid me. I can take a fuck off.
>>16430387
Yup, yup, yup.
There is a reason why you have failed, though. Now I can't tell you what that reason is, but I can tell you there is one. Now, applying to those places was not a waste of time because it has shown you that you aren't making good applications. Honestly, though, those are the worst kind of places to look for work. Just because they employ a huge number of people does not mean they are easy to get jobs with. Here's a better way.
Think up as many mom-n-pop/ small business owner businesses that you ACTUALLY LIKE in your local area as possible. If you don't like any places, well find some places you like the look of. Coffee shops, Clothes shops, watch repair places, whatever floats your boat. Go into the store and walk straight up to the counter. Say "Excuse me, I was wondering if you're looking for work." Often it will then be appropriate to follow up with "Can I talk to your manager?". All you want to do is get an interview, or failing that a piece of paper to fill out. You're young, and you can work all hours - that combined with showing the initiative to talk to the boss will be enough to get you a job. It won't be enough to get you the job at the first place you try, maybe not even the sixth, but it will work eventually. If you DO get an interview, or a phone interview, and you still get rejected, you can call them up and ask them (politely) why. This is the true advantage of smaller businesses. I once got a job in a foreign country in which work was not plentiful and I did not speak the language with this method. You can't fail as long as you persevere enough.
God please give me the job I just applied for. Please. ...please.
My landlord is pissed that I owe him half months rent from a few months ago.
I have to pay someone for helping me with something.
I need to buy groceries.
I apply to so many jobs every day, and I even remade my resume.
What more can I do? I'm a competent person. I'm educated. I know how to do my job in a way that would benefit my employers. I just need someone to hire me.
I was sexually assaulted and almost raped when I was thirteen and I've never told anybody the full extent of it and I wish I had. But the guy who did it is in college now and seems like he's doing well I'm not going to ruin his life anymore. I sort of hinted at it with my ex and I think he got the jist but I never told him the whole thing and recently it's just been haunting me and hanging over my head and I don't really know where to go from here. He is the only person who really would listen and understand not just nod along
>>16429806
My love towards my cousins isn't platonic.
I haven't felt this strongly towards anyone in my life before.
I know your ex girlfriend raped you, and that's terrible and you didn't deserve it at all. so why the FUCK did you rape me especially if you knew how bad it felt, you piece of shit? you were supposed to be my best friend. I said no so many times, you made me fucking bleed and you tore me, and yet I was the one holding YOU while YOU cried after. i didn't even realize it was rape at the time, you were so fucking manipulative. I didn't want to be "that girl", the kind of girl you made fun of and blamed for getting raped. you probably wouldn't even see it as "real rape" because I didn't realize at the time. fuck you, I don't need your "acceptance" for it to be real. I didn't fucking deserve it, no one does. I have ptsd now because of what you did, I can't talk about it without crying. I don't want to give you the credit or satisfaction of hurting me, I'm almost angry at myself for being affected so much. you said you loved me so much, but really, you just loved that I had finally turned 18 after you so "kindly" waited for me so that whatever you were planning would be "legal", and that I was naive enough to think you were a good person who just went through some bad times. I don't want anything to do with you ever again. I blocked your number, I can't believe you tried to text me, you're fucking pathetic. I hope no one else falls for your shit ever again. I hope you don't rape anyone else ever again. I fucking hate you, I hope you die. maybe this is why all of your exes want you dead too, you loved whining about that. poor you. I know I'm not the only one you hurt. you fucking deserve to die alone in a ditch and I sincerely hope you suffer.
A few of you assholes will cry when I kill myself. It is the only nice thought I have ever known.
>>16430963
how edgy. do you honestly think I haven't heard shit like this before or thought these things myself?
>>16431009
>all that shit
yawn anyways I didn't deserve it (:
>>16431009
>you bear the mark we all look for
what kind of movie villain
>>16431026
Not him, but it's not a movie. It's the Berserk manga/anime.
>>16431033
berserk had movies, but nice contribution
>>16431045
Thanks, Zod!
>>16430963
>>16431009
>>16431075
/adv/ sure has seen better days, tee bee aych.
>>16431075
>affected emotion
you're the one getting mad tho
ok you literally talk like an anime villain this is kind of funny I can't take you seriously at all like you're trying so hard to be offensive but you're not actually saying anything original
Im 22, I look at my life and what ive accomplished and I see little to nothing. Ive spent the last 4 years wallowing in self hatred. I was depressed about alot of things, and in the last year or so ive been snapping out of it. With this comes the realization that ive essentially wasted 4 years of my life, possibly what could have been the best years of my life. Im behind in school after failing multiple classes, my relationship with my family is fucked, and it just feels like im playing catch up constantly. I feel fucking old, yet I know im young, I feel like the best years of my life are behind me and im stagnating, which in turn prevents me from making any forward progress. Im in such a haze I dont know if its the drugs, or if its just because so much shit is going through my mind all the fucking time. Im an artist, and a musician, I have ideas that sound incredible and I push them away because I dont think they're good enough, then Ill forget about them completely, im in love with the idea of success, but im too much of a fucking pussy to chase it.
I don't like the way you push me away so I'm going to ignore you completely. I hope this teaches you to be honest.
>>16431149
ok and?
>>16431149
>runs out of things to say
>shit, time to spew amateur psychology to try to seem smart
>>16431160
It's not what you think it is.
I had an epiphany tonight at work! I am the problem. My fears of taking the risk of actually giving you the space you requested is leading you to push me away. I told you I was afraid to lose an amazing person from my life but my fear wouldn't let me trust you enough. I was and still am afraid you won't come back but the more I force it, the more I know it'll be less likely to happen. In a sense, I will be letting go. I need to trust you. I am truely sorry.
D, I am so sorry. I know why you have been quiet now. I will be driving to your house to tell you this on Saturday. Just give me 10min....
Fuck, I'm so sleepy I'm gonna die
>>16431149
I loved punking out bitches like you. Even the CO's turn their heads the other way.
The only thing lower than your kind is chomo's and they get kept in segregation because we'd fuck them up.
>>16431136
Keep going man. You made it out after four fucking years, you can do it. My dark period lasted half a year and I purchased a rope in that time. I wouldn't have lasted as long as you if my depression went on that long.
Anyway, here's my generic problem. Met a girl, spent a nice night together, nothing sexual. Been texting a bit, then go to see her and she's with some dude, and I can tell they have something going on. She tries to avoid his advances as she says goodbye, maybe to try and stop me feeling worse, or noticing what was going on. I mean, we aren't together or anything, but it fucking hurts anyway.
>>16430486
Go to a temp agency
I wish I could go out and brutally rape someone. Just once, just to see what it's like. I mean, I could, but I'm sure I'd get caught, I just want to do it and get away with it of course. I want to beat the shit out of some random bitch I don't know, then fuck her as much as I can as hard as I can. I want to leave cuts and bruises, really fuck up someone pretty, then not have to sort it out, just go.
When I saw you, I couldn't do anything, I was so surprised and shocked that I just stood there, like a retarded guy, and you just gave me a grin and walked away.
This destroyed me.
I'm supposed to be studying for a test in two days and I shouldn't be anxious, but my intense fear and hatred of math is making me suicidal, so now I'm just shitposting.
It's fucking pathetic that junior high level math makes me this upset.
So just one more beer then grow up
Sick of falling for broken guys.
I can't stop cheating on him. I'm addicted to him. His body, smell, the way he tells me what he wants to do to me before he does it and the way he orgasms. I blame him for choosing porn over sex, I feel no remorse.
>>16431777
Ayy so my sista
Are you sad? Are you feeling lonely? Let me tell you something. You brought this on yourself, just like I did, and just like all the rest of the garbage of this pathetic world... Yes I am talking to YOU.
>>16431801
Jokes on you in feeling fine even though my body might be failing me, which believe it or not, is mostly not my fault. I was born with a Bain tumor, which is also not my fault. It is however my fault I stay positive, stay optimistic, and keep my family close so they don't worry for me. Everything you do in your own power is your fault, so don't say something isn't when YOU DID IT. Take care of yourself and use your super powers for good.
>>16431829
*Brain
Even with all this shistorm I still don't want to take action. Doesn't mean that I never cared, but I just don't want to be involved in this problem. At least for now.
Why is it so hard in making friends?! They expect or want something from you just to talk with you. If you don't meet their standards they either brush you off or make a living fool out of you in the pretense of being acquaintances. I am so sick of tired of trying, but after distancing myself from other people, I start to get lonely and depress, like my life has no meaning.
I'm going to write this & then screen shot this so I can always remember. so here it is.
today was a fucking disaster. started with me meeting my pals and then going to a park. had 7 cups of vodka. hadn't eaten in two days. anyway I can't remember much. I remember kissing my pal. he's only recently been married, like not even a month has passed since I went to his wedding. mind you, his wife was there, but we did it out of her sight.
i went to the shopping centre after, to meet my best friend. the guy that sexually assaulted me was there, I struck up a conversation with him. Someone paid for a taxi... I didn't immediately go home. I found myself on the lawn of some guy's house, just spewing up. he gave me a cup of water and told me to sit in his garage. I sat there. he kept asking if I was okay. then I left and made it home and slept.
I woke up at midnight, it's 2:30am now. 4 messages. from my best friend, from the guy I was seeing, my sister and my married pal. all concerned about my well being. I didn't mean to cause all this drama.
I'm hurting so bad right now. i didn't mean to make everyone so worried. and I hate myself. self-loathing seems to be my familiar companion, I talk too much, I laugh too much. I'm a narcissistic, over dramatic piece of shit. I'm jaded and cynical. I'm a failed normie. life isn't too bad. aside from the fact we're living in poverty and can't make ends meet. my sister is deep in a ketamine addiction, and has been ever since she left the house. I haven't heard from my father in a while. my brother (who lives with me and my mother), a shut-in NEET, has gone suicidal. My complaints are about nothing, but I feel justified.
whatever... I want to disappear and for everyone to forget me, but I'm also so lonely and just want everyone to love me.
I'm an idiot, and my head is throbbing.
Depression, something I kept at bay by staying working, has taken over. Anxiety has crept in too and now I feel there's no way out. I'm frightened and get nervous even walking outside.
Almost a year and a half with no job. Still living with my parents like a shut-in loser. I guess my act has been slipping lately and it's obvious there's something wrong with me. They left a note on my door the other day thanking me for my help with house work and telling me they loved me.
How can you love me? I'm a mooch. I'm a loser son that's scared to even pick up the phone. I don't have a career, money or confidence and buying a pack of gum causes me terror. I'm a shell of my past confident, outgoing self. I don't deserve any nice things. I don't deserve such nice parents and I think you and everyone would be better off without me.
It seems like I have completely fucked it up with the girl I like, being too fucking awkward and outright douchy and clingy. Now I'm in the coworkers and barely acquaintences " friend zone" because I don't know how to talk to women without being an idiot
>>16428097
All they're doing in inducing a state of paranoia, hyper vigilance, and a little bit of psychosis on a scammer group that deserved it. You just might be attacking the wrong person or persons. Enjoy your operant conditioning.
I had an emotional affair with some guy online. I didn't even really know an emotional affair was a thing, I thought it was just friendship. We flirted but I thought it was harmless because I rationalized it little by little. It was a slippery fuckin slope, it's like when you slowly submerge yourself in a pool because it's less cold somehow that way
i hate myself. he knows and he still stayed with me, although he almost didn't and could leave any day now, but i fucking hate myself. he's my best friend and he's the only person in my life that hasn't backstabbed me in some way, and yet
fuck, i'm trash
>>16432161
What you said made no sense in regards to the op
I fucking hate i cannot talk to women without ending in friendzone
>>16432190
Is it funny that what you're dealing with is the same reason I came on advice for?
I'm just asking because I can't make it clear. You're basically getting close with the guy online but have a real life boyfriend? I really hope that's a yes, because that means our situation is so similar it's just crazy.
I can tell you what I'm dealing with currently and what I'm doing to handle if you would prefer. Or you can just know that your situation doesn't sound uncommon at all.
>desperately need friends
>am NEET, so never get the opportunity to meet anyone new
>tfw
>>16431922
You definitely sound like you're at a point where you need professional help. Is it possible for you to start seeing a therapist?
>>16432802
Go stay at a hostel on a Saturday night
I'm so tired of college. If everything is fine I should graduate this year. Problem is that my teachers this year have completely different teaching methods than the ones from before and give assignments that make no sense. Add to that a really fucked up schedule and having to commute for ~1h just to go to college.
We have a lot of things to do in groups but I'm always stuck with my incompetent friends who don't do shit and blame me when I do all the work because "I don't do it well enough". These bitches think I can be as productive as 5 people at once despite being tired all the time because of my fucked up health. Worst part is that they very often miss the non mandatory classes to get some rest after spending all their nights on skype or watching some anime and they always ask me to give them my notes, but when I have to miss a class for an important appointment with a doctor or because I literally pass out in the middle of the street and I ask them what the class/lecture was about, they tell me that they didn't go to college even though they promise me, or they don't tell me anything because "lolololol I didn't listen to the teacher". I had huge problems because of that for an assignment because I had no idea what to do. I don't even want to call them friends anymore.
I actually feel like my whole life is all about college right now because I don't have time to do anything else anymore: no more hobbies, barely enough time to spend with my siblings, I can just go to the hospital or see a doctor once in a while. At least I have some video games releases to wait for, I guess. So I can play them during the summer break or whenever I feel like not being productive enough to pass classes.
I'm just sick of it all man.
I just want to live in a small place, on a small piece of land in Colorado near some random town, and paint. I just want to paint and wander. No idea where to sell my work, I doubt that anyone would buy it. I really don't want to upload it online anywhere but at this point I might consider making some account on a random website to sell SOMETHING. Trying to make a living but my head is still fucked. Should be on Latuda 20mg and some other stuff but poor people's insurance/doctors don't give a shit and wont follow through on paperwork. Empty promises, attitude, and self righteousness is all you get in mental health. Its getting to the point where I might just sit down and give up on life on a street corner until I starve. I don't know. Whats the point.
>>16432878
Hang tough anon, and realize you don't actually have friends. The majority of people are just manipulative retards who need emotional security.
Carry on.
Also, try planning a vacation if you have the money, or plan what you'll do for fun during holiday/summer breaks.
>>16432810
Reminds me of me, except I'm basically a NEET. I weep inside as I have to deal with most of your troubles, except for bonus points in that I fucking HATE SCHOOL, and am a social recluse.
My study habit is of course the good ole' fashioned night blitz (AKA, I procrastinate).
My friends are incompetent as well. The differences blink between you and I in that you should never rely on others, or help them. You need to focus on yourself as much as possible. Even in peer group shit, you need to remain independent, and prove that you're the one kicking ass.
TLDR: Carry on my wayward son, there'll be peace when you're done. Lay your weary head to rest...and don't you cry no more.
>>16432894
These people are actually really nice and fun to have around, but they're really not serious enough when they need to be, they just want to have fun. And it pisses me off more and more as we have to work together more and more often. It's true that I can't count on anybody ever though. Good thing I realized that early enough or I would have been in some deep shit by now.
Not enough money, I can barely manage the money I get thanks to a scholarship because I need to save enough in case my laptop stops working (I feel like it'll happen soon). I already know I want to work during the summer to get more money+experience to put on my resume, the real problem will be to actually find one. I live in a city where there's barely enough job and a bunch of people I know only get theirs thanks to their parents/parents' friends who get them a job through connections. I can't do that though, I have to look for a job very early compared to them, I hope it'll work.
>We won't tell you the shipping cost until after we charge your card
>Keeping the customer guessing is somehow a good' thing
I can play that game, too. It's called the 'I won't buy anything from you' game.
I can't stop eating peanut butter cups. Holy fuck, make it stop. I've eaten at least 800 calories of the fuckers.
Tired, just tired of life, regret making wrong decisions under the influence of people who thought they knew what's best for me, I just wish I ignored them all and did what I wanted to do. I wish I just...followed my heart (sounds gay but is fucking true)
Seeing everyone get ahead in terms of relationships etc and wishing I had that but too shy and introverted for it, feel like I'll be aloneforever, all I have currently in my life that I'm happy with is the best grades in my year, and idk if that will even get anywhere
I feel so demotivated and I'm dreading life
>>16428097
Question...
I met this girl like a couple of months ago... We've been going out several times, we hold hands and stuff, been kissing quite a lot, still, I believe she has her shields up because she's going away to do a masters in texas A&M in february. I've told her (casually) that I'm not fixed to this town and I could do a masters on the same uni (I've been wanting to do a masters for quite a long time, since I graduated actually, so I really have no problem at all, two birds with one shot right?).
When she holds me it's amazing, she holds me really hard, and when we kiss it's really cool too, I think I'm falling really hard for this girl, it's been quite a lot since I felt this way (I'm 25). Our talks through whatsapp are pretty brieff, but we've been talking every night for at least an hour on the phone, the chemistry is quite good, we have a pretty similar way of thinking. We've been talking on the phone because she had to go to do some bureaucratic stuff back in her town. She's comming back this weekend. I'm kind of scared that she's not looking for anything serious, and I'm also scared that I mess things up with her, I think she's my Ramona Flowers hahaha. She's said that she likes me, and has also asked me what the hell are we going to do... Since we just kind of met I told her that we should keep dating and we'll think of something in the near future.
I really like her, please give me good advice, I don't want to scare her off with my crazy "got in love in a month" attitude.
>she's 24
>civil engineer
>kind of geeky, likes anime and books
>I'm a mechanical electrical engineer
>kind of geeky too, likes comics, books, and video games
Fucking hell I'm so lame, I'd like opinions or advice. Thanks in advance.
I don't know how to hold conversations with anyone. How do I fix that shit?
>>16432794
Yes, that's exactly right. Except that I'm married. Maybe you could show her my post as a wakeup call, as when it was happening to me I barely even realized it because I was rationalizing so much.
>>16433000
M8 I've seen this same post like 20 times
>>16433005
Talk about anything and everything, hell if you can't think of anything just think of something random, ppl would think you're outgoing and all that shit
>>16433014
nobody fucking answers shit
>>16430960
You sun of a.. you butter not kneel your self to a higher power this early in your life. What about all those things you promised? All those kids you can punt to the field goal of success one day? I can't do this anymore..I'm gunna keel my self before you do. Fuckkk you see you at the finish line.. ILL WIN AT ALL COSTS. NO THERAPHY ALL NATURAL HOLISTIC COMPETITIVENESS. DONT LOOK FOR ME IM ALREADY DED. FUTURE DAD. please stop touching urself at night.
>>16433017
Probably because this is a fire and forget thread
American education at its finest
It was the right kind of love with the wrong kind of person
Everyone says I'm an asshole but they don't know all my suffering. Why can't anyone look inside me for once? I'm not a bad person.
>>16433057
let me guess
suffering because of a girl?
>>16431785
so break up you whore.
easy.
so many stupid shitty people in the world
>>16433062
yes
It's awful but I'm talking to a girl who's in a shitty relationship so once she breaks up I'll ask her if she wants to be fuck-buddies. Like, it feels like she wants me to encourage her to breakup with this guy but I've got nothing against him so I've been making excuses for him.
There's also an older woman who seems interested in me but she has a reputation so I might just ask if she knows where I can find other cougars. I might just ask if she's up for a round or two but it's all up in the air at the moment since I'm focusing on my studies.
You see a bunch of "p0ussy is so hard 2 get" threads on here and it's literally a matter of lowering your standards and understanding that porn has fucked your perception of women.
>>16433000
Is she your first girlfriend? Everyone feels intensified feelings for someone after a while of seeing them. That's good enjoy those moments with her. Some relationships last some are short but sweet. It takes pacing and timing, breathing space is important so you both make the right decisions for both your personal futures. Trust her, you're your own person with your own direction and she is too. She seems to enjoy your company so be in those moments and live in them with her. Worry is fine everyone goes through it. You just may want to know some point if you both are on the same page. How you'll say it, that's up to you. Most important is what your direction in life is so whatever happens you know what you are capable of giving and you are able to adapt in any relationship in your future.
>>16433057
because people don't look at causes for things they only look at the surface actions or reactions.
people also don't care about the causes and won't give a fuck to try and work with them to heal them. its a bit of selfishness on their part and a bit of, "you should be able to fix yourself by yourself and not be that way" but try to tell that to someone else and see how they react.
its hypocrisy where you have to respect peoples perceptions and everyone elses problems but fuck your problems if they get in the way of anyone else doing whatever they want.
I haven't had a true friend in awhile. and I've watched all the ones I had slowly turn into the same people with the same mentality.
people just don't want to make the effort, and no one cares about anything more than what they can see immediately. and if they do, instead of trying to figure out exactly whats inside they'd rather make their own assumptions and roll with that. it's almost never positive.
>>16431801
yeah, not for the reasons you think though.
eh, I'm used to it. you could all disappear from my life completely and I'd be fine. there's other people, if i want their company.
mmm, not really. and I'm getting tired of putting the responsibility of everything on me. I am always wrong and everyone else is infallible.
get over yourself.
>>16432161
the fuck are you on about?
>>16433072
Like anon said, patience, understanding and kindness is seen as weakness nowadays. It's competitive, noone trusts anyone, everyone is trying to claw at someones back to get somewhere and every friend isn't a friend but an opportunity to success. Honest caring friendships and even relationships is for those without lives. Quick dirty fun and fast. Great road to divorce.
Be honest with yourself and to others. be an open book if you were closed before. Sure people will see it as weakness but this is how you'll find real friends. If people bother you too much then you can smile and say yeah at least I admit it, eventually people will warm up to you or maybe they'll hate for eternity. That's life, if you can count your real friends by hand then you are blessed in life. Don't take those people for granted and don't let people take you for granted. Be the better person and be the example. Everything takes time don't rush it.
I have a friend with benefits but she seems less interested in talking to me than everyone else. What do I do?
>>16431801
Hope you are doing okay, that's all I care about anon.
3 days. that's how this goes. things affect me, I feel like shit, I come back feeling refreshed.
I feel better than I did before in fact. so good job?
>>16431801
yes and I regret but I can't undo what has been done
I have so much food but I wasted so much time on controlling my rat infestation with toxic poison and it affected my well being as well. Now I learned proper storage and prevention techniques and my life is better. No rats in my life neither.
That was an interesting dream, very true.
verification people, just do it. fucking can I have more scientific method up in this cunt we call humanity please. for the love of cinnamon rolls, please.
still can't just say shit outright. its cowardly.
>>16433160
>cinammon rolls
Dear sweet baby Jesus fat rolls.
>>16433167
Cowardice or avoidance can also be mixed up with clarity and acceptance in certain situations. Some people in your life or situations in your life might be so toxic to your wellbeing that the only solution would be to walk away. Some fear self reflection so much that they will cling onto a person no matter how destructive the relationship could be just to avoid this. Some will even cling onto a person to blame and guilt them for everything just so they will not walk away. Sometimes distance helps people to grow. It really does.
I'm so done, 4chan. I've been going out every day, with the intention of starting to learn to meet strangers. And I can't even bring myself to talk to the bartender, or the bookstore employees outside of pleasantries let alone real strangers. I'm out hundreds of dollars, and most of my patience with myself. I'm so sick of being me. Any other person could be put into my body and do it better than I can.
>Want to better self, lift weights, get into shape, put on more weight and muscle, become more active
>Can't afford a gym
>can't afford to build own power rack or buy weights
>can't afford fucking anything because I have a shitty job and keep getting my hours cut because slow season
>literally can't even afford my bills, relying on financial assistance from others just to keep the lights on
>can't join military because lel smoked weed in college and was honest about it how fucking shameful
>can't for the fucking life of me get a better job
>never get called back for interviews even though I've put in hundreds of applications
>vacillating constantly between thisisfine.jpg and pleasekillme.jpg
I'm smart, a hard worker, respectable, hygienic, friendly, completely available, willing to travel and work shitty shifts, willing to do difficult work, fucking anything but no one even gives me a second glance. I'm tired of being too poor to do ANYTHING. All I do is sit at home and stay on the computer because I can't even afford the gas money to drive anywhere but work. Even worse, everyone keeps whining "you're a female/minority, people will hire you straight away because they have a quota to fill", implying i'm not at all qualified for the job, not that it fucking matters either way because THEY WONT HIRE ME. I've been into temp agencies and man power and even they don't have any assignments for me. I'm losing my dignity here
>>16433236
Friendships man, ships alright? Are you floating or sinking? Are you heading in a direction with wind in your sails? 4chan isn't your friend it's merely entertainment. Enjoy the show of life, tap a stranger in the shoulder and say "hey ain't it funny". Good luck.
2Pac gonna RIP again ;_;
I started a new job earlier this year, and became good friends with one of the girls that worked there
She became the closest thing to a best friend that I've had since probably elementary school, and she helped me more than I realized. I started to actually feel the way I used to before depression took hold of me. In a way, I guess that shows just how isolated and lonely I let myself become, since she didn't even do that much but it still made me feel way better than I had in years
But then she quit. Now, I never see her, and I've slipped back into being a lonely mess.
I wonder if I should send her a message and tell her. Thank her for making me realize, if only for a little while, that maybe things aren't so hopeless.
I also kind of wonder if she saw me as a friend the way I saw her, or if she only ever saw me as a co-worker...
>>16431863
Initials?
What is wrong with me. You'd never guess I was any different by looking at me.
>>16433261
That guy's still making music, he's not dead.
I kind of like the smell of my stinky feet but not other people's
I'm fucking mad at everything.
I'm mad at myself and my past decisions.
I'm mad at my best friend who has abandoned me.
The only emotions I have left are Sadness and Anger.
If I didn't have alcohol, I don't think I'd have any happiness left.
I have no future. My past is shit. What good is the present?
I've tried to find a girlfriend, but the girls into me aren't what I'm looking for. The ones that I want, don't want me.
If I could die a good death tomorrow, I'd take it.
>>16433799
Don't you have anything to do better than complaining? Your life's not going to get better until you work to make it better.
I read what you wrote. Please be okay, even after everything you did, I want you to have a long life. I still care about you.
>>16433980
I feel that. And I feel better when I follow that.
But I'm in my late 20s and I have a degree that is worth shit.
That's my teenage self's fault. Fuck him.
Any job I get, I'll be compared to people 10 years younger.
Why hire me ?
Even I go back to school for something useful, that's the same conundrum.
Why hire me over people younger?
I just look like a dummy who scraped his way through school.
Fuck me for having depression.
Granted, my grades are great, but I'm still old.
I think I should join the military or something.
Die there. People will see me as a hero, then. Not as a wasted potential as I am now.
I graduated as salutatorian in my high school. I was expected to be a great person. They said I'd change the world.
Now I'm living a minimum wage job. Jokes on them.
"Most successful".
Fuck it.
I just want to chat with a borderline sociopath. Is that to much to ask for?
>>16434040
Nigga, you're on 4chan.
W'e're like 60% sociopaths.
I've seen you bitch!!!! You cocksucking whore, i've seen you at the club dry fucking some old fuck. You dirty slut. You where having the time of your life you nasty piece of shit. You fat ugly bitch. How the fuck could you do this to ME!!!!???? Have I not been good for you you cunt!? You ungratfull cow. I see now who you are. It's clear to me now. You are nothing but a stank ass ho.
i have an incredible urge to go on a rage and emotion fueled killing spree and specifically target people that are bad in order to rid the world of a few people who definitely dont belon
My eyes were bigger than my stomach and I ate more sweet potato fries than I had room for. I'm now stuck on the couch with a brick in my belly. I regret everything.
I feel drained all the time, now. Even if my lifestyle had changed for the better, which it technically has, I feel very unhappy, exhausted, and weakened.
For everyday I deal with all the people in my college, and everyday I apply in the workforce, and everyday I work out, it slowly eats me. I'm not angst ridden, nor pissed, nor whatever. I feel quite drained energy wise and soul wise.
I just want to focus one one task only, without the need to focus on another. School is slowly killing me, as with trying to mix that with work. I know 'Git Gud, Skrub' applies here, but really, I just want to stop, if only for a moment.
I accept the fact, anyway, that I have to juggle everything, even though I seriously feel awful. I just wish for my misery to only apply to one thing, and one thing only. I can't only go to college, as that leaves me limited for income. I can't only go working to a store every day, as that leaves me limited for options in career shit. This conundrum will never end, and will only continue until I either git gud, or die trying. God help me.
Of course, I also hate people, but I deal with them anyway. I add this because it only compounds my issues. To put it differently, where 100 people will walk, I will walk the other way.
i want to make a millipede farm
I am a fucking imbecile. No wonder why I'm alone now.
I'm studying to become a teacher, I don't give a fuck if I don't find a job, I really don't give a shit about that. I'd get any job I can, even if it's not in my field. But I love what I study, and that is obvious since I am the the best student in my career.
But I sometimes act like if I were better than the rest, and don't want help from them. Fell in love with the other best student(girl) who is a WONDERFUL(like you have never met) person and was my best friend. We got along so well, but she had been(And still is) in a relationship, for 6 years now. And I wanted to get in the way of that, and not only I did not get the girl but ruined that beautiful FRIENDSHIP that was the only thing that kept me connected with the rest of my classmates.
Now she doesn't talk to me. We went from being BFF to not saying hi to each other. And she's the most popular girl in college, everyone likes her, and she is the one that throws all the parties. And I'm no longer invited.
After I got isolated from her and the rest, I became even better student, leaving everyone far behind. I'm actually doing my career faster than what it's expected. But I'm still an asshole, maybe more than before. Nobody wants to call me for projects because they think I'm too arrogant and can't work as a team. And they are right, all these small successes are worth nothing, because I don't have anyone to share them with.
My life is shit and I should feel ashamed. I'm a disgusting human being. I sometimes want to kill myself.
i regret saying we should take a break WITHIN THE DAY woooo
then again like it makes a difference. i'll see u on monday and its not like imma ignore you or whatever.
I wonder how it feels to set yourself on fire
The monk that did it burned (kek) into my mind
I wonder if there's a moment where the pain is gone and you are just existing right before death
Today there were doughnuts in the break room and I was watching this real fat guy eyeballing them. I got so turned on by it too. Not him sexually but the thought of what would go through his mind when he finally got his chubby hands on one.
I wish people would stop telling me to get therapy and just help me, it's not like I want much.
>>16430822
And more obvious pedophilic tendencies emerge...
I had a best friend who happened to be gay and be in love with me. I stopped all contact with him after this. Some days ago I saw him in the bank, he was in the same line I was supposed to go. So I just left and came back 20 minutes after, thinking he would have been gone. But I walked past him as he was leaving and he saw me. It was the awkardest moment in my life.
Did I do the right thing?
>>16434040
Most in shady practices like MLMs are sociopaths to others outside their circle. Gay Jays are gay people in denial but pretend to be masculine to keep up with appearances. Then there's career men who lie for the progress of their organization or cause. Then there's sociopaths who have extreme trauma from childhood that constantly learned that lying was the only way to be accepted. The there's compulsive liars and cleptomaniacs but are also sociopathic in nature. Then there are cult leaders and higher ups in organization that lie about their credentials and loves to portray an image to the media for marketing purposes.
TL;DR
Anyone can be a sociopath, psychopath, narcissist, histrionic and all kinds of diagnosis. Most people are products of their environments and culture. Psychiatry has taken advantage of these diagnoses to create an industry to sell you a band aid fix. When all you needed was a good old fashion intervention, physical diet, theraphy, a confession booth and a good support group to recover from bad traits and behaviors. Parents should know this better.
>60%
Seems about right since everyone is anonymous and is probably pretending to be someone else online anyway.
I've been more impulsive lately.
I don't like that.
Enlightenment to the truth of life through secret teachings and indoctrinations makes everyday drama seem comical and irrelevant. However it comes with a price; You are punishible by blackmail and death if you choose to share information or leave. Your initiation ceremonies and ritual initition rites will be used against you if you choose to go against the laws of secret societies. You can be protected and immune to the laws of normal society through membership brotherhoods but the same brotherhood assures your loyalty by blood.
>not everything is life is peachy at the top
>sometimes it's best if you have no identity
With great power cums great responsibility.
Goodbye.
i mean goodnight qt
You're such a hypocrite, god damn.
>>16434528
And your contribution anywhere in adv is nothing but shitposting ;^)
Better to be a hypocrite than to be a hypocrite that pretends they aren't a hypocrite.
>>16434552
Hit too hard home?
Low IQ shitposters vs Illuminati vs Scammers vs Jesus Christ
>>16434566
The Js, the Ms, the As, and the fucking Hs are going at it like dogs, man. Add those, too.
>>16434560
Not really just making sure you look at the mirror since you brought up hypocrite out of the blue. People here like to project at others a lot.
>>16434575
Fair point.
>>16434593
Why must you keep arguing with someone who has the wisdom of the universe on his side. It's almost like crashing your car into the side of a brick building because you're mad.
Just remember, there are no good or bad actions. It's all just exchanged energy for survival and for remembrance of your existance. Death is amensia, be glad you can be restored with our human learned wisdom if you ever come back as a human again. Invest in a tombstone and be a positive influence if you don't want to come back as a worm.
My crazy mother drowned and killed 10th of cats every time she calls me crazy I want to drown her.
Yeah, so if you regret me that much, can you not randomly remember me? Like jhst kinda focus on shit yoj won't regret and won't be wasting your time with. That would be better than the random as fuck jabs I sometimes get on a different board. One day you'll get a time machine and return to 2013 and smile. But until then I'd appreciate it if what you choose to do didn't somehow have a negative impact on me, I am tired of getting blamed whilst irrelevant. Not that it's your fault, but it's unnecessary all the same.
Heavy drug use seem to be taking it's toll on you.
>>16434654
But if I take off the mask, it really hurts.
>>16434654
Drug overuse are for those who do not respect themselves. Enligtenment comes from within.
*tips fedora*
>>16434654
So glad I've never done drugs
>>16434666
Satan, you are a saint. Why, though, must you conflict with yourself?
>>16434667
Why does this faggot keep projecting and keep thinking anon is one person.
>>16434670
You're an idiot and I hope to see you burn across a street. This is Satan, not just any anon, you dumbass.
I heard rumors as a boy that Satan loved to use drugs. Turns out I, alongside the Pentecostal church, are wrong.
>>16434519
Nitenite
I've considered breaking the jaw and legs of this one missionary trying to push Jesus Christ onto strangers.
Awkward to live in a world designed 15cm of average height ago.
All this hunching for low tables, drawers and sinks means I look like a dressed up caveman.
Fucking bystanders and 3rd parties trying to wedge themselves in where they don't belong.
It's annoying that they get pissed off for something they are hardly involved in.
>>16434857
Verbal/physical abuse? Dealing? Stealing?
Obvious reason to interfere.
When people pretend nothing's happening, you're in a slum.
I think I'm going to talk to that girl I saw the other day in the cafeteria. All but two of my classes got cancelled so i sat with a guy I went to high school with who used to be one of my best friends. He might not show up tomorrow and I'm going to have the same hour open again that I did Wednesday. So I think I'll just ask to sit with her at 11:00 and talk. It's worked before. And the last time it was with at a table with a bunch of girls. Though come to think of it I didn't bother to see if she sat alone. If she doesn't sit alone it could make the experience a little less focused. We'll see how it goes. I don't know if I'm going to play later on tonight. I haven't been out there in a month and haven't been practicing any songs. And I'm not sure if the girls I usually go with are going to be ther either. But I also can't think of a reason they wouldn't be. Lay few times it's been either going to see Rocky horror or because they had a band competition. But I don't think anything is going on. I really don't like going by myself. Usually half the fun is meeting up with them. I seriously need to go to bed. I gotta test in biology. I don't think I'll want to take a nap with all my down time. I'll probably work on my papers if I don't end up talking to that one girl i saw.
I'm proud of you.
so upset to see you with that guy. but it's not like we're together, i know, so you aren't to blame for hurting me. my feelings don't care that you're playing by the rules. i feel like shit.
I now have my biological father's cell number. And was told he had mine, was given it a bit back.
I've never talked to him. He was never in my life. Didn't run out, moved before even knowing mom was pregnant.
I want to get to know him. Just that really. But I don't know if he wants the same. He could have sent me a message. He's had my number. Someone even showed him my picture.
I wish I knew if he was just anxious or really didn't want to talk.
I could take either. It's the waiting around that hurts and makes me anxious.
I'm pretty disgusted at myself. I have a huge fucking infatuation with this guy from work, let's call him H. Like holy shit. Whenever I see him all I want to do is to hug him and cuddle and hold his hands forever. He's in my dreams every other night. I seriously cannot stop thinking about him and it's horrible. I want to stop. I NEED to stop. I want him to get a girlfriend or be gay or something so he can thoroughly break my heart and i can move on.
It's been so bad. I'm engaged and in the middle of planning my wedding. I actually almost had a breakdown a few nights ago and almost told my partner to call it off. I feel so sure that I just don't feel anything for him anymore. Whenever I see him, I see H. When he touches me, kisses me, I wish it was H instead. My fiancé is such a gentle soul. I don't want to break his heart. But at this rate, maybe I don't deserve him.
I'm so terrified that it will develop to be more than an infatuation. I had a chance to tell H my feelings in the hopes that he will crush them down (which I was sure he would), but I chickened out. I don't want to make it awkward. But what if...?
I need help.
>>16435118
When you don't try. You'll never know.
You: *rings dad's number*
Your dad picks up
You: Dad?
to be continued by you...
>>16435143
Hard to sum up on here. I've put in lot of effort, talked quite a bit to people on that side of the family. He was given my number. People who know him are surprised he didn't try. And.. I guess they gave up and gave me his instead.
Just... knowing that he can contact me if he wants, makes it seem bad if i force it or he isnt ready. Could just cause more problems.
All I ever needed was to be saved from myself. A tough childhood, being abused by my parents haunts me almost daily, I'm going to die alone because I'm too much of a fucking snowflake. I'm losing all cares and feel like a time bomb.
And I'm soon to explode
>>16435201
Also meeting my brother who I've never seen before on Sunday, he's just came out of an asylum for manslaughter... Going to ask him if he wants to join me on a little adventure. Should be good
After having no choice but an ice cold Porta John for 12 hours in a snowstorm I want all of you to appreciate warm bathrooms, and the seats in particular
>>16435178
Have you considered that he is simply ashamed?
>>16434282
My feelings towards the girls don't stem from sexual attraction.
>>16435178
He might think you don't want him in your life.
Is he like a doner for lesbians? Did they get divorced? Did he walk out?
>>16435255
Do you have many friends? I don't and I used to mistake the urge for any human connection for love.
>>16435251
Ashamed of what? Too much backstory for me to try to explain.
He didnt leave me. He left my mom before he knew she was pregnant. She insisted he stay away since he didnt want to get married.
It's... all just complicated and difficult.
I thought of making my own thread for this but I wouldnt even know where to start.
>>16435259
I basically just have a single friend, that I have known since pre-school. We aren't very close friends however, just old buddies basically.
My bond with my cousins is stronger than just friendship though.
>>16435266
Still sounds like you just want friends to me.
Well, whatever happens, I hope you get a happy end .
You know acting on those feelings probably won't end well, for what is worth though I'm rooting for you.
>>16435257
see >>16435262
He didnt walk out.Never knew him. Someone talked to him and relayed that he'd be open to talking if it's what I wanted.
So there's no donor type thing. Mom got pregnant and told him after he'd moved states.
No divorce, no marriage, not a donor.
>>16435272
He's probably nervous. I think he'd be happy if you talked to him. Assuming you're not going to be all "dad gib money I need presents please spend money on me" guilt tropping him, but it doesn't sound like the case
>>16435271
I'm content on just being able to spend time with the girls, and enjoy their company. The moments I have shared with them have easily been the best moments of my life during the last few years.
>>16435255
You ain't fooling us, you wanked to them. Disgusting pedo garbage
>>16434281
I love reading this board... So many problems, so much feeling and I'm just sitting here and reading all these... I feel nothing. No I'm not that depressed guy "oh I feel so empty inside" I just love doing this. All these strong emotions why can't you just get over it? I don't get it. I was sad, furious etc.. But after a day I feel nothing. Why can't you do this anon? Just tell me, I love to listen all these pity things
>>16435314
You've broken.
Congratulations
Glad to see you're still here,C.
>>16435140
Don't rely on your problem to also be your solution. If you told him and he reciprocated it would be up to YOU to do the right thing.
