hi /adv/,
so. lately I have noticed a trend with potential partners. They love to invite me out and hang out with their close circle of friends usually after a couple times meeting me, and sometimes its even after the first shot. I think it's because they genuinely really like me, and I also like them because they are decent human beings, with friends, hobbies, interests, and lots of things to talk about. So I guess this is what happens if I want to date someone of higher quality, or even anybody who clicks with me? It's an opposites attract type of thing.
The first time it happened it went horribly. Because expectations did not match up with reality, so I was disappointed. Told him I didn't like his friends and didn't want to hang out with them, and he immediately dumped me. This was so fucked up and surprising of him to do. I was in complete shock.
The second guy invites me to hang out with his friends within a day of hanging out with me one on one. This time I say to myself, ok, you better not fuck this up, and even if expectations do not match up with reality, just pretend to like his friends.
So that's what I am doing- faking it until I make it. because my asbergers comes out a little with groups, but I am totally cool one on one. I believe everyone has this type of asbergers social akwardness to a certain extend. Nobody is perfect you know?
Anyways.. so now this new guy cooked for me and his close friends all at once. Pic related, this time is a mixture of guys and girls.
He loved it and said he can't wait to cook for me again. I thought it was awkward though because the circle of friends had their close bond going on and a continuum of that bonding at dinner. I tried my best to not be a weirdo and talked a little here and there but I was slightly scared as it's the first time hanging out with them.
But he eventually sat next to me for like 5 min and held my hand [at the end of the 3 hour dinner party]. This time I am not sleeping around until I know the guy really well- it's as far as we have gone.
But yeah. I guess it's going well now? I am faking it until I make it because I do want to have more friends. My problem is is that I get mad if people don't talk to me or if I am not the center of attention, like I normally am on one on one dates.
So-- yeah- this trend is now me going on group dates, and no longer one on one.
What is up with this?... I thought dating was supposed to be a solo romantic thing. I am open to this new style, because these are the types of men who I attract and am attracted to. But.. can someone else explain to me the purpose of this type of dynamic?
tldr; group dates are a thing in my life for the past year. One on one dates are very short lasting.
guy thinks it goes well, I hate it because attention is not on me. Basically hanging out in the shadows and watch his friends talk to each other.
I know it has to do with me, and not them, and probably just have to get more comfortable making friends with a group of people.
anyone want to explain?
he is now planning like all of our dates to be in conjunction with his friends... LOL...I'm like okay.
Is this a trend with older men, like in their late 20s, early 30s? This guy is 31 I believe.
bump
Some people are groupies. Some are more independent. Shrug.
If you want your boyfriend alone, ask him on a date. One on one.
