Hello /adv/. How do you get pass what you are? Background:

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Anonymous
2016-03-13 10:35:18 Post No. 16910473
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Anonymous 2016-03-13 10:35:18 Post No. 16910473 [Report]

Hello /adv/.

How do you get pass what you are?

Background:
>served in the army
>shit happened
>go to therapy
>dig deeper
>figure out that i miss being in the service
>dig even deeper
>figure out that what I miss the most was that when i was in uniform that's what I was, not a Hispanic, but just soldier. another number
>therapist and I kind of reach the same conclusion, a lot of self-confidence issues come from hating myself and what I am

How do I start to get pass this?
Have any other anons dealt with being self-hating?
Also, would disconnecting a bit help? It seems that today's world is slowly shifting back to "what you are " and away from "who are you".

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Anonymous 2016-03-13 10:57:27 Post No.16910507
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Anonymous 2016-03-13 10:57:27 Post No.16910507 [Report]

What would be different if you were not Hispanic?

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Anonymous 2016-03-13 11:11:09 Post No.16910539
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Anonymous 2016-03-13 11:11:09 Post No.16910539 [Report]

That is a good question, and I wish I could reliably answer it.
It could all just be perception. Maybe. Most of my experiences as a Hispanic have been pretty shit. Have gone into shops and had guards follow me, or pretend like they aren't scoping me out. Fuck, I just wanted to get some pepto. House sat for a friend who lived in a predominantly white neighborhood. I was excited to be in a new place. Couldn't enjoy it because whenever I went for a walk to just enjoy the place, others looked at me like I there mug a person.
I have my best to not judge others but the older I get and the more negative things seem to stick, the more racist I can feel myself getting.