Online Dating
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Anyone of you Anons have any luck with online dating?
I was thinking of trying out a website like OkCupid, and seeing if it's for me or not.
Also, I've been working on a little summary and I was wondering if you guys could take a look at it. I don't want to come off too pretentious or boring.
"I focus on what I am very passionate about. I love Literature, and anything that has to do with the English language. I don't know why, but I love the concept of Linguistics. Some people are interested in numbers, others in Microbe. I'm interested in how everyone in this world communicates. This all ties into my love of art, and learning about different cultures. Learning the history of various countries, their language, their art, their politics, and etc. It's great to be able to look beyond our borders and take a peek at what the lives of other people are like.
As you can see, I am completely at home at a museum! I'd love to travel around the world and see these vast cultures first hand."
>>16611673
Are you a guy and a 7/10 or below? Don't do it, you'll be worse off.
>>16611673
>Anyone of you Anons have any luck with online dating?
Yup. I swear by it.
Honestly I wouldn't even bother with a fancy, heartfelt profile. Women don't read that shit. I threw up a couple pictures and some bullshit jokes in my 'about me' section and had fantastic luck.
Went on a few shitty dates but you'd do that anyways with or without the internet. I fucked a lot of girls, met a lot of people, even met the girl I've been dating now for about a year.
Its not bad if you know how to use it. I have no problem talking to women or getting dates in real life just think of it as an enhancement tool. All it did for me was increase my exposure.
Pretty neat, you should try it out.
>>16611673
>"I focus on what I am very passionate about.
good
> I love Literature, and anything that has to do with the English language.
sounds gay to say you "love" something like that. Say: What I am passionate about is literature and language.
> I don't know why, but I love the concept of Linguistics.
sounds beta, wishy-washy. Also is linguistics a "concept" or a field of science? Sounds like you're an idiot
> Some people are interested in numbers, others in Microbe. I'm interested in how everyone in this world communicates.
She is realizing you are a fucking nerd at this point. More learny shit? Must have a small dick
> This all ties into my love of art, and learning about different cultures. Learning the history of various countries, their language, their art, their politics, and etc.
Holy fuck. Luckily, nobody has read this far. Yawn. Okay we get it you love everything and want to look smart
> It's great to be able to look beyond our borders and take a peek at what the lives of other people are like.
Creepy stalker peeping tom of the mind mannnnn
Your profile should be concise, masculine, exude quiet confidence, with a dash of high-brow humor, an undercurrent of sexuality, and an mysterious, diffusive vibe that will leave her both wanting to learn more and assuming the best about you. Most importantly, the promise of excitement and passion and fun
>>16611701
This.
In fact, if you don't have an "Alpha Male" attitude, it's a complete no go. It's like the virtual version of picking chicks up in a bar or club. You have to strategically fill your profile up with fake shit that gives girls a feeling that you're a popular, life-of-the-party type of guy that every other guy wants to be. You have to be a practiced smooth talker. And that's JUST to get laid. Relationships on top of that are a whole other level of DUDEBRO ALPHA behavior.
>>16611725
Source: I've been on two OKC dates in my life and fucked on the first date both times. It was 2011 though .... different world back then senpai??
>>16611725
Ok, Ok. Now, we're talking. I'm really trying to play it up. I don't really have an idea to make those things sound interesting. Maybe I should scrap those interests and focus on something else.
>>16611747
That's the spirit. You can take abuse. You will do well on a dating site.
Again I'd say concise. Keep it short and sweet. Write a lot and then edit it ruthlessly. Read it like a doe-eyed hot 19 year old looking to get plowed by a real man. Or looking for a wild new guy to stimulate her and show her the world. Be that guy
>>16611673
I tried OKC, after hiding all the whales from my search results I was left with like maybe 10 girls and 2 pages worth.
Lots more on Tinder but half of them are fake accounts.
Better to use meetup.com or something like that and meet real people.
>>16611673
Your summary is too introverted. Devote only a couple sentences to personality self-analysis and intellectual interests. Your profile should talk about things you do that are active and social. The purpose talking about active, social things is to communicate what you will do in a future relationship. Intellectual interests are solitary pursuits that are difficult to make into a group activity. You need group activities to form the basis of the relationship, and you need to state in your summary that you already engage in those activities regularly.
>>16611773
A more straight forward approach would be better then. I was thinking of that, but my only worry would be maybe coming off too boring or uninterested?
>>16611701
>you'll be worse off
It's brutal on a guy's self esteem.
If you're an attractive guy who like fat chicks, then OKCupid might be okay. Otherwise the odds are pretty bad. Women on there have impossibly high standards, any girl that isn't fat is getting far more attention than she can handle. And most of them suck at basic aspects of dating. I've met so many women who are incapable of carrying on a conversation, who regularly miss text messages, or show up half an hour late to a date. But since they can just get a new guy anytime they want, none of them will ever work to fix any of that.
Dating IRL is imbalanced enough in favor of women, online dating takes that to the extreme. Most important is to not let it effect your self-esteem. You will face a TON of rejection and rarely have women message you first. Don't let it get to you, that's just how online dating is for males.
all you gotta do is know how to handle women, and you'll be rolling in pussy
doesn't seem like many in this thread understand how to do that so they slam online dating
>>16611673
You will get a lot of bitter guys on here telling you that it doesn't work unless you're a gymrat that talks shit to women.
Totally false. I met my girlfriend (currently 2 years) on OkC. She's thin and attractive and I'm dorky. I didn't have a suave profile at all and my pictures were awkward. I sent her thoughtful messages, not "sup bb u dtf?" and she replied to them. After we had been dating a while I was curious about how much traffic women get on those sites, so she showed logged into her profile. Hundreds of pending messages. It really is a sausage fest. And virtually all of them were swaggy dudebros trying to be PUAs like half the guys in this thread tell you you're supposed to do.
>>16613143
you lucked out, does that give you the right to say whats fact? no. You basically won the lotteray, congratulations. Real life is better for actually getting a meet up, online dating? youll be talking forever and nothing will rarely come of it.
>>16613143
>hi I'm Chad, but I also play video games, I sent thoughtful responses such as "hi, I like your profile! what do you think about xxxx?" and then she saw my handsome face and went "wow this guy is not like the rest" and so we hit it off.
>online dating works, just be attractive and don't be unattractive
I met my girlfriend over two years ago on there. The thing to rember is that there's actually quite a large mix of people on OKC and some are looking for lots of casual relationships and some for something more meaningful. You have to look at points on which you match and what their responses are to questions you find important.
What is true though is that all girls are bombarded with messages. Be prepared to be ignored and never receive a reply, or for them to exchange a few messages and go silent.
My gf was bombarded with messages that just say 'hi' or were outright abuse or threatening. Some guys think that telling a girl what they want to do to them in graphic detail is going to get their attention in a positive way. Once she sifted through the crap there were fewer messages like mine that actually were worth replying to.
I went on a couple of dates with people on OKC, some where ok, some were just dull. Worst was this girl that said she was into science fiction and fantasy and when I tried to start various conversations found nothing she was interested in that I'd seen, and I've watched/read a lot of stuff so thought there would have to be something we had in common, but no. I guess she's one of those that think watching Twilight or some shit means they're a geek.
>>16613143
You got incredibly lucky, congratulations. Your experience is not in any way representative of what most men will find. If you stick with OKCupid for a few years then a guy might have some luck eventually, but the vast majority of guys will not have your level of success in a reasonable time unless they are tall and/or attractive, and even then it will take some luck to avoid settling.
>And virtually all of them were swaggy dudebros trying to be PUAs like half the guys in this thread tell you you're supposed to do.
I made a fake profile for a woman. They get plenty of thoughtful messages too, hence why they still ignore the vast majority of thoughtful messages. This "women get lots of messages but they're all crap" excuse we keep hearing is total nonsense, they get more thoughtful messages from attractive people in a week than most men will get in a year.
You got lucky, period.
I came into contact with this autistic / sociopathic girl. Weird thing is we're actually hitting it off.
>>16611720
>>16611673
wht this guy said pretty much.
keep it short and not so serious.
it projects confidence and nobody wants to read fucking walls of text anyways. i know i dont.
for more details just answer some of them questions.
>>16611720
>Honestly I wouldn't even bother with a fancy, heartfelt profile. Women don't read that shit
this. Women are shallow as fuck. The most important thing is making sure you have good pictures of yourself up. One of my friends is a photography major, I had them take a couple high-quality pictures of me to make myself look good.
>>16613507
If they don't care about people's profiles, they're probably not the kind of person I'd enjoy the company of anyway, so nothing's lost there.
>>16611673
I tried OkCupid. It was a disaster.
But it was half my fault, and the other I don't know. I didn't take iniative to talk or like people at all, and the only ones who liked me, were fat SJW cows. Their profiles literally said "don't contact me if you are cis scum", yet they contacted me, for whatever reason.
But I'm sure in a town where the pool of girls is a little bit larger, and if you actually go after the girls you like, it will turn out better.
>>16613143
I can relate to this, i spent about 1 year on OKC, had a long ass wall of text, read a lot of profiles messaged like 30 Girls in that time got answers around 30% of the time a few numbers and facebook contacts and one girl i went on a date with.
She is a 8/10 with an astonishing body, foreign to my country, pretty decent. I am together with her since 2.5 years and she is also kind of nerdy.
here is my secret: be the first bee at the honey pot.
Over about 2 years of OKC I think I can break down my success rate to something like this:
Browse 50 profiles,
Message 20 or so
get 8 or 9 replies back
find 3 or 4 of them interesting enough to want to reply back to/have a brief convo with.
find 1 or 2 of them interesting enough to ask out.
I think I went on maybe two dozen different dates over the two years I used it. and of those only thought there was any real potential with 4 of them, and only really had a super spark with one.
That last one was my girlfriend of nearly a year now.
I'm actually going to one of her friend's wedding in few months, and they too met on OKC.
As a tip, I'll say we both kind of came to a similar conclusion through our OKC use. If you end up trading more than 10 messages before agreeing to meet up, you should probably drop the conversation. It indicates you're talking to someone who will probably either flake, or never want to meet you. And even if you do meet up, your conversation will tend to be more awkward because you'll have basically exhausted all the starting conversation topics that people use to get comfortable around each other.
My by far two best dates were the one where I invited a girl out to lunch that same day after idly chatting to her for an hour (was supposed to be just a quick lunch, ended up lasting 8 hours) and my girlfriend where we agreed to meet after 3 total messages (and we ended up agreeing to a second date an hour before the first was even over).
I believe that when it comes to online dating profiles, honesty is always the best policy...
"I'm 33 years of age and still live with my mom. I'm not really passionate about anything desu. I do like music I suppose and I play the guitar but I'm not very good at it and I've never had the balls to get up on stage. Thats chronic introversion for you. I am currently unemployed and money is a real issue. Also, I don't own a car so if we do meet up don't expect a lift home! I don't like working out and my scrawny, skinnyfat posture causes me chronic lower back issues which can make sex a very unremarkable, stop-start affair. The handful o friends that I have are now married and too busy with their successful careers to bother keeping in touch with me so my social life is limited at best. But then thats all the more time for us to spend together, right?"
How do you think I'll fare?
>>16613864
>>16613864
Obviously badly. Rephrase it more positively and with a less self-defeating attitude and remove some stuff about the sex that people don't even WANT to know about you.
You can be honest, because otherwise you won't meet a person you match, but there's a line somewhere.
>>16613864
If you're being ironic than you're describing every guy on OKC. Granted, even they are smart enough to not write something like this on OKC.
If you're being honest on this, than in that case it sounds to me like you're boned. You have some stuff to work out in your life before you should start to worry about a relationship.
>>16614082
>If you're being honest on this
Sadly its the truth
>>16614127
Well, I'm gonna level with you for a second. Your "introduction" is one giant paragraph of cons, and that should speak volumes to you as a person. Think of Online Dating as advertisement space. You're selling a product, Yourself.
What you wrote sounds like you're trying to get some pity, like some woman out of the kindness of her heart is going to read all that and try to pull you out of it. No. It's not happening. If you don't help yourself, nobody will. They don't care why you're in the position that you are at 33 years old, and why should they? If you don't care, why should a random stranger care?
>>16613864
honesty is not the same thing as negativity, bro
is this still a thing? I kinda assumed that dating sites were passé ever since Tinder, happn, and stuff like that got popular
i fucked a chubby blasian on okc on the regular. she was kinda cute but not dating material.
>>16611673
I've had great luck getting dates but they never go anywhere because most of the women on dating sites are pretty shit tier man. You can find good sex but you aren't going to find a quality woman on dating sites.
Learn to approach women in person. I swear it's so much better once you get past the fear. Getting a girls number that you saw in person is so much better than kissing ugly girl ass in hopes you'll get one of them to give you attention. I've probably been on 40 dates from online and all of them were pretty trailer trash or uglier than their photos.
Dating sites sound easier but they really aren't. You should only go on them if you're desperate as shit for any type of woman or you're looking for an easy lay. I wish more people would realize dating sites are just about making money. They have nothing to gain from you actually meeting a quality woman with a good life. In fact they would lose money if you did because you wouldn't need them.
Tldr; you more likely to find a quality woman at a strip club than you are digging through the mentally ill women on dating sites kek.
>>16614905
A lot of people that I talk to describe Tinder as more of a hookup place. I don't know how true that is, but that's what they tell me.
>>16614905
Tinder is for sex. Some people find relationships on it but I've only ever used to find low effort pussy. Honestly after some of the nasty shit I've said and done to girls from tinder I don't think I could ever date one.
>>16614932
I should also add that your experience may vary depending on where you live. I'm in alaska and women are more slutty than a lot of girls in the lower 48.
>>16613313
what do your opening messages say?
>>16611944
>This
But I disagree about self-esteem. Online dating raised mine through the roof because I learned that some women are just as inept at meeting people as I am meeting women.
Also OP get used to being let down by non-responders, outright rejection and learn to cast a wider net if you have high standards. In my early days of online dating I'd refine profiles down to 2-3 girls I really wanted and focus on them; excluding others because I had in my head some kind of fucking requirement they had to reach - like specifically brunettes or whatever.
In all honesty you're meeting women who are so shit at being women they need to go online to find a guy because they can't do what 95% of other women can do; which is literally get a man whenever and wherever by simply showing interest in said man.
Get a good photo of yourself; preferably dressed well and with a fucking haircut, don't look like utter shit basically; and as long as you are confident and able to grab their attention for more than a couple messages you'll be fine. However don't drag messaging online out too long, once a bit of flow happens ask for their number or drop your number to her with a "Out of town use this to contact."
Also your opening message is important but don't over think it; whenever I contact women I try to be playful and open ended - alot of women will have shit on their profile like "Say more than Hi to me!". Most women get plenty of "unique" messages so don't think you're being a creative genius.
On the other side In my experience most women contact me with one word greetings. If I'm really lucky its a sentence or a question. I'd find this hilarious if I didn't know how fucking biased the whole "dating game" is.
>>16611673
Yeah, that's how I met my boyfriend. Too many highstrung chads irl who usually don't even want a relationship. But on okc I could immediately weed out the casual sex bros and look for people who wanted something serious.
It was a little difficult because in the one month that I was on the site I got about 800 messages and 1000 likes. But it obviously worked out because I met a genuine guy pretty quickly - which again is near impossible irl.
Just don't sit on your hands and wait for women to message you though. I don't give a fuck about your progressive bs. I am a woman and you are a man - you have to contact me first to make me understand you're interested. A man who waits for women to go up to them first or 'chase' them is disgusting and autistic.
>>16611673
You should really just meet people in real life and keep OKC and POF for the stragglers.
>>16615283
>I am a woman and you are a man - you have to contact me first to make me understand you're interested. A man who waits for women to go up to them first or 'chase' them is disgusting and autistic.
With this sort of pettiness it's a wonder you even have a....oh wait you're a woman so you don't really need to put that much effort into your rotten personality to get companionship
>>16611673
Hey, I'm a 5/10 guy probably less but meh...
I found a wonderful woman through online dating. It took me quite a few dates until I found her though. Response rate was about 1 in 15 messages and ~1 incoming message per month.
From my experience:
>Get at least 3 good pictures. 1 profile, 1 full body 1 other
> Write something about you that makes it easy to ask questions.
> If you get a response or get a message from a girl you like arrange a date asap. I was told by almost ALL girls that they loved the fact that I asked them out on the 2nd or 3rd message because "all the other guys just want pen pals it seems"
> Keep your profile short and concise
> Don't be negative in your profile.
> Only mention your job or salary if you have bank and like gold diggers, otherwise just omit it. It just attracts a nasty type of woman. Unless you only look for sex, then it's pretty good.
>>16615309
Listen, groncho: You have to be tough as nails to get what you want. I didn't want a guy with aspergers or a pussyfoot, so I didn't go after those kinds. As a woman, I wanted a man who goes after what they want, and I got it. And I'm happy.
Love is a game in the beginning stages, of course I had to modify my personality for a little. I had to pretend I wasn't as interested so the guy wouldn't get creeped out, be open minded while still sticking to my morals and values, open myself to new experiences and understand that perfection is boring. And I know this is something both men and women can relate to when looking for something real.
If you want a woman that chases you, fine - I'm not judging- but you're probably going to be waiting a while is all. Or not like what comes after you.
>>16615402
I have no problem with you thinking you need to chased like a nice little princess stuck in a tower, but the way you phrase like you expect *every* woman to think like you...I certainly wouldn't want to be stuck with someone petty who overthinks texting first, I used to deal with that shit when I was a teenager, I was hoping that people matured past "Oh no should I text first? don't want to seem too needy" phase.
You feel you're entitled to a specific kind of attention just cause of what's between your legs and that's what makes you rotten.
yes! i met my boyfriend on the /fit/ tiny.ch@t and we live together now! hes my best friend & he sling that good dick
your writeup is weird and kinda creepy, dont post it. cant say exactly why.
>>16615402
You might be happy but I doubt he is with a complete bitch like you... eventually your true colours are going to show.
>>16615954
Every woman does think like that. It's why even attractive men don't get messages first on OKC, and why women almost never ask men out. Even women who call themselves feminists and constantly whine about gender roles hate being treated like equals.
On the plus side once you figure that out dating becomes easier and I no longer feel bad about using women like >>16615283 just for sex.
>implying she can tell who's after casual sex
No, you can tell who wants a one night stand. But not who is faking a relationship so they can fuck you.
if youre not attractive or female theres no point, it will just make you unhappy and grind you down
personally I've had two relationships from there, first one was good at first and we ended up hating each other after a while due to some unfortunate circumstances at the time, second relationship was all awesome and I had literally everything in common with this lady and then we broke up due to random unfortunate circumstances.
I've tried doing the fake profile full of jokes shit and that works for attracting random hoes but I seem to have had better luck actually typing real shit about myself.
without going into details too much, I think those previous two relationships ended up not working out because we had met over the internet and not in person, and in both cases I probably wouldn't have interacted or met these people in real life had it not been for a dating website. I'd honestly recommend just trying to meet a lady in the real world who shares common interests with you, if you have hobbies and aren't boring you can probably find that by participating in a local group doing things you enjoy, sign up for an art class or go to a bar trivia night or something, just engage in a social activity that you enjoy
>>16611701
>>16611727
>>16611944
I completely disagree with these posts. I'm a pretty average looking guy, wouldn't really consider myself the stereotypical alpha personality. I've used eharmony, match.com, and okcupid, and I've had plenty of dates with normal attractive girls. I even met my wife off of match.com.
I've also had my share of shitty dates off of online dating, but I've had my share of shitty dates from offline dating as well. Online dating is just another avenue of meeting people. One that is very convenient and easy.
>>16617724
you might not be the stereotypical alpha, but youre also above average looking
>>16613175
The lottery must be a lot easier to win that I realized.
You realize average normal dudes get dates on those things all the time, right?
I'm getting the feeling that some guys can't take a little rejection. I've been rejected on those sites a shit ton of times. I've also gotten a lot of dates as well.
>>16617729
>youre also above average looking
I'd say I'm pretty average. I am kind of dorky, I wear thick glasses, don't really keep up on fashion, and my hairline is receding. I'm not ugly by any means and I keep up on my hygiene, but I'm also not going to win any beauty contests.
>>16617745
> I'd say I'm pretty average
youre either lying about your okcupid results or you are mistaken on your own physicality
>>16617736
Average dudes mostly get dates with fatties. If you think online dating doesn't suck for men you're either tall, very attractive, or a chubby chaser. A normal guy has to message 100 girls to find one that he can go on more than 1-2 dates with, and that's basically ditching all standards except not dating fatties. The only girl I dated off there lasted a couple months, good sex but sorry gf. She took forever to respond to texts, was really flaky, and showed up late half the time. And I'm a fit, athletic male who's good at socializing.
>>16617745
How tall are you?
>>16617757
I'm glad you're so sure that I'm either attractive or a liar, but I'm being honest. I also wasn't just on okcupid. Like I said, I used okcupid, match.com, and eharmony. I went on a couple of dates on okcupid, but honestly I only ever really had flings from that site that never developed into anything more serious.
If you're actually serious about dating, I would probably do a pay site. Everyone who is on those sites are all there specifically for dating. Everyone knows what they are there for. Nobody is just there for friends or just to take the quizes.
That being said, though, I have a couple of friends who have been really successful with okcupid. They live in a large city in Texas, though, so they have a much larger pool of people than I did.
>>16617724
How old are you? I've heard better things about match and eharminy than OKC. Still obviously far easier for women but I don't think it's as bad as Okc.
They do tend to attract an older crowd though. After you a 32 year old man messaging 30 year old women?
>>16617778
I'm pretty tall. I'm 6'3", but I think you're being a little naive if you think that's all you need to get dates.
>>16617775
I'm not attracted to fat girls in the slightest. I did have an okcupid date with a girl that turned out to be pretty big, but oh well, I enjoyed the night and didn't bring her home.
>A normal guy has to message 100 girls to find one that he can go on more than 1-2 dates with, and that's basically ditching all standards except not dating fatties.
That has literally not been my experience in the slightest. Yes, I have been rejected many times on there, but I feel like you're being very overdramatic.
>>16617775
Clearly the issue is personality then because actual world facts don't support your conclusions seeing as how I know plenty of average to ugly dudes who get plenty of dates. You're an idiot for thinking the problem is that women are just super picky when it comes to looks becase they setiously aren't.
>>16617784
I'm 31 now. I okcupid when i was about 22-26. Started using the pay sites off and on when I was about 24. I messaged girls ranging from 18 to their early 30s. I met my wife on match.com (a year younger than me( when I was 26, almost 27, and it's history from there.
>>16617792
Jesus Christ your being more than naive. You're being completely fucking retarded. Height is easily one of the most important factors for a lot of women on okcupid. Tons of women would rather date an average looking guy who's 6'3 than a 10/10 hotty that's 5'9.
I think we're done here, you'r just too fucking stupid to contribute anything worthwhile. How can you be such an idiot that you thought being taller than 99% of guys isn't even worth mentioning?
>>16617808
Ok, now you're just being an idiot who I'm pretty sure is just rationalizing your own dating failures.
You can't tell how tall I am from my pictures. Plus I have a close friend who is much shorter who was also very successful at online dating as well.
You're really reaching for straws here.
>>16617792
>6'3
Maybe you should have mentioned that part when you talked about what an average normal looking guy you are. Half the women on there care more about height than looks. I'm betting your wife never would have even bothered replying if you were 5'7.
>>16617886
She didn't know how tall I was.
I feel like you're really overvaluing height in the dating game.
>>16611673
I have been on OKC since the site launched. I have yet to have a date that was facilitated by OKC. Real life has been slightly more forgiving.
>>16617897
I feel like you're being incredibly ignorant. Women care about height a lot, you would not have anywhere close to your success if you were even just average height. For some it's the first thing they look at on a profile.
How did you even have a profile without height listed? Having a profile with no height is like having one without your age or a picture. I don't know if I've ever come across one without height filled in.
And even if you left that blank she would know when she met you, height matters for places like Tinder too it's just about whether you get a second date rather than the first.
>>16617808
>I can't get a date because of all these reasons I can't possibly change
>it couldn't possibly be because of my personality
I'm getting the feeling that you're bad at dating offline a well.
>>16617897
>I feel like you're really overvaluing height in the dating game.
They are moving the blame from themselves to things they can't actually control. It makes them feel better about not getting dates. I see that shit all the time. Some manlets complaining about how unfair it is and there's nothing they can do, meanwhile other people who keep actively trying to date are going on and enjoying dates.
>>16618195
>literally all objective evidence shows that online dating is much more difficult for men than women
>all objective evidence shows women care about height
You people are retarded for denying basic facts like this
I both agree and disagree with what most anons have to say here. I say do it, but only if you fulfill these things:
>Have a source of disposable income
>Have a source of private transportation(uber does not count)
>Exhibit confidence in yourself and your actions. (Like an earlier anon said, just sum up your profile. It makes you look insecure, as you feel you need to explain yourself. To the point, and what you say should be all she needs to know up front.)
>If you aren't 7+/10 physically, show off good fashion. It bumps you up by a point or two
Most of all, remember this rule:
>UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ARE YOU TO INVEST YOURSELF EMOTIONALLY ON ANY ONE GIRL. You are a man, and majority of men don't get to pick who's mutually ideal. That's the women's role. Woo as many girls as you can, and then pick out of the ones that find you ideal.
Just keep these things in mind, and uphold them at all times, and you'll do fine on an online dating site.
>>16618395
Nobody is saying online dating has less opportunities for women than men.
Nobody is saying that height isn't a factor in attractiveness.
Get your head out of your ass and stop with the strawmen.
Men can get plenty of dates from online dating, and you don't have to be a chad or a 10/10 to do it. This is done every day across the globe. If you're having difficulty, keep trying, or perhaps take an internal inventory of why girls might be blowing you off and try to improve.
Height is a physical quality that people take into account when determining attractiveness. So is eye color. So is any number of things The anons in the thread who are trying to pass it off as the end all be all make or break quality that women want are being pants on head retarded.
But you people are going to just keep sitting there blaming things and feeling sorry for yourselves. Any examples to the contrary is just people winning the lottery.
I have met many women online. 99% of them are only worth a pump and dump. You wont find the mother of your children on a dating site.
>>16618700
Blatantly untrue.
Online sites are going to have similar demographics to offline. It's just another way to interact and meet people. There are going to be some shitters, there are going to be some amazing people, and there are going to be a lot in between.
>>16618713
Dating is incredibly easy for women until they hit their late 20s, so if she's on online dating she's probably doing something wrong. Half the women on OKCupid are fat. Tons of women I met online couldn't even make an effort in a conversation. A lot of my messages were me asking questions, them giving short answers and not bothering to ask anything in return. Several women I dated showed up late to dates, were flaky, etc.
Plus the odds are so terrible that a guy is going to have to settle. You need to message a TON of women just to find one girl to date steadily, which means the bar is set pretty low. I'm currently dating a girl who owns two large dogs and wants to get another. I fucking hate dogs, no way I'm going to marry her. Before that I was dating a pack-a-day smoker. Again, good for sex but I would never want to be with someone like that long-term. But online dating doesn't give guys many options, so we take what we can get.
Unless you have pathetically low standards or get extremely lucky or are very attractive (and yes >>16617792, being 6'3" automatically makes you at least a 9/10 to a lot of women), then online dating is mostly a waste for men.
Nope, as a 27 yr old male single dad and fat...I have yet to hear from someone and I've had that app for months now. But it all depends on a lot of things. Location, what you look like and stuff. So good luck bro.
Not even reading all these beta posts. I don't 'spit game' on anyone. I just be friendly and get hot girls' numbers and go out with them. Man its depressing reading what you guys say.
>>16619560
>I'm currently dating a girl who owns two large dogs and wants to get another. I fucking hate dogs, no way I'm going to marry her.
Honestly, why are you still with her then? You could be finding someone you could marry instead of dragging the relationship forward.
>>16611673
found my long-term-girlfriend on a dating site
We have been together for about 9 months now.
We are very happy together and the relationship is wonderful.
>>16619560
>I'm an idiot who goes out with woman I don't really like and blame it on the "odds" instead on me, for choosing them.
It... sucks. I regret spending my time there. Just older guys wanting sex or a younger girl to make them feel like a big guy, or people I just didn't get along with and no common interests.
>>16620765
Welcome to dating in general.
>>16619560
>being 6'3" automatically makes you at least a 9/10 to a lot of women
Does the same person keep posting this? There's no way multiple people can be this retarded is there?
>>16613842
Co-signing this
The longer you text the further south things go in my opinion. If she's always busy, "doesn't know you that well" or making any other excuse, tell that bitch bye. It's never worth it. She almost certainly doesn't like you but wants a new source of attention.
>>16619560
>Tons of women I met online couldn't even make an effort in a conversation.
>A lot of my messages were me asking questions, them giving short answers and not bothering to ask anything in return.
> Several women I dated showed up late to dates, were flaky, etc.
I found this true on okcupid, but on tinder I found women that actually chat me up, but there was a 3 year gap in between so I'm not if I've changed or okcupid was just shit then.
>>16611787
this guy is wrong.
>I like hiking (or dancing or x sport or clubs or I'm a foodie)
is G E N E R I C boring guydudebro stuff in every profile. Intellectual interests might actually be good bate to hook someone who will be attracted to your personality. Works for me. But ops is way to general
>Learning the history of various countri...
be specific, what countries have you learned about? don't say you like politics, say something about politics
>I love Literature
name some books or do some quotes without context.
>>16611673
I made an account, met a guy almost like me but with different interests. it was nice, he's nice, definitely A+! worth a shot
Tried it/pof/tinder I'd say in a 6.5/10 however in good shape and 6ft3 but I couldn't get shit and can't much irl. I'm very likeable guy in person and I know a shit town of people and typically can connect with someone in minutes but I've had alot if trouble making the jump to gf.
The only reason I had my gf was because I drunkenly found a depressed girl who had social anxiety who was looking for a rebound.
Ll, I'll pass until I'm 30
>>16620740
>Honestly, why are you still with her then?
Because I'm having fun and getting laid
>You could be finding someone you could marry instead of dragging the relationship forward.
Not really. see >>16618700
Dating for men online is terrible. Sure a handful of guys have success, but I've messaged ~200 women on OKCupid and those two are the best I've come up with. Women's standards on OKCupid are so impossibly high that as a man, you've got to lower your standards so much that 90% of the women I message aren't women I would ever want to marry. But it beats being single for now.
It does sound like Match.com or eHarmony might have slightly better odds so I might try them whenever I get bored with what I have now, we'll see
>>16620756
>i'm an idiot who doesn't understand simple math
odds are real dumbass. Keep telling yourself you're in love with whatever fatty you end up with from OKC
>>16621108
Does the same person keep denying this? There's no way multiple people can be this retarded here.
Yes, they're all me. Not just here, but everywhere else you see people saying the same thing. All those profiles like pic-related? All of them are actually just fake profiles I made. Every time you hear a woman say she loves tall guys or hates short guys, that's just me wearing a wig
Get real. Some women will date shorter guys, just like some men will date fat girls. But you're an idiot to deny that height matters to a lot of women. Lots of women don't want a man under 6 feet. Only about 10% of men are 6'+, and the poster above said he was average looking so he's more attractive than 50% of those guys. So to a woman who doesn't want to date somebody under 6', he's more attractive than 95% of other men. And that's just women who only date tall guys, there are a lot more women who would settle for a shorter guy, but who have a strong preference for taller men.
Taking the dating experience of a 6'3" guy on OKCupid and somehow generalizing that to a 5'9" guy (or shorter) is what's "retarded". Thinking that his height had literally no affect whatsoever on his dating experience, hence why he didn't even bother to mention it when talking about how he wasn't that attractive, is what's retarded.
This thread has been very informative. Thank you.
I was thinking of going back to the dating scene soon. Had a bad time with eharmony. So I'm about to try match.
I decided to give tinder another shot, put up a shirtless photo from the beach and got a few matches over night. Does "u mirin my aesthetics?" Work as a good opener?
>>16621989
The problem with Tinder is you know nothing about the woman so it's hard to gauge. That would work great on some women others will just unmatch. But that's true no matter what opener you use. If you've got enough matches try it, someone will bite.
/fit/ sometimes has Tinder threads, I'm sure they'd know the best pickup lines for shirtless profiles
>>16621740
Not even that guy, but cherry picking a profile that talks about height and being dramatic about it doesn't prove your point. I agree with anon, you're being retarded about the height issue. It matters to a certain degree, but not nearly as much as you're desperately trying to make it out to be. It almost sounds like you have some sort of napoleon complex and get really defensive about height. That's way more unattractive than actually being short.
It's horrible.
Your chances are 0.000001%.
Have fun.
I finally convinced my forever alone friend to join a couple dating sites. A few months later he met the girl that he's been dating for a year and a half now. I honestly don't get the people who are saying finding a girl on there is like winning the lottery. I would be very curious as to how they actually use the sites.
I have used online dating sites off and on for 9 years. I rate my appearance as 5/10, and that might be slightly underestimating myself.
In that time I've sent thousands of messages. Long messages, short messages, serious messages, joking messages. It didn't matter what kind, the average response rate was equally pathetic.
I've gotten 3 dates total, all with terrible women. I've met more and far higher-quality chicks in real life from fucking /soc/, with much less effort.
If you're a tall, good looking man, and you like fat, boring normie women, you might do better.
>>16611673
OP, I gotta tell you, shit's brutal on a dating site. It can either be a breeze or the emotional equivalent of the Battaan Death March.
You can meet somebody interesting. You can meet somebody that gets all your bits riled up. But you have to be prepared for a lot of dead air, first off. You will be sending a lot of messages into the ether and you may not get a reply. If you don't, fuck it, next one. By the same token, you may get messages from people, particularly people who are so wildly outside what you're looking for that you wonder if they're a bot or they just figured you're so desperate you won't challenge them. Fuck that. Fuck them. Move on.
True story: I spent about a year on Chemistry.com, paid, not a single hit. I cancel, I sod off, do my thing. A free weekend comes up. I log in, get a message from a gal. That ends up turning into a four year relationship. Dating sites are like combat duty: 99% boredom and 1% screaming excitement.
You think online dating is bad, try online dating as an Asian man or black woman.
>>16611673
I was using OKC about 7 years ago. I must have had sex with at least 50-60 girls from that site. New one every week for two years probably.
Want advice? Act like you don't need the job. You don't have to be a dick. Just be interesting. It doesn't take much to be interesting.
Girls are easy.
Women are harder to impress.
You'll see the difference eventually.
>>16624315
>online dating as a woman of any race
>bad
The average black woman still gets more messages than most men.
Also I'm curious, do the stats on race ever account for anything? Like black women being less educated or more likely to be single mothers, or just more likely to be fat.
>>16611673
Femanon here, honestly I like your profile. Make it more about you though, and sound more confident. Don't forget some hobbies. Games count in my book. Wit included.
I'm reading the profile because I want to know you and see if you and I can have a great conversation.
Then again, I'm not like most women my age (19) so who the fuck knows.
