My female friend told my group of friends that I "slut-shamed" her (she's not even a feminist) and now my friends act awkward around me. This is the story:
>have a group of friends of 5 females, 14 males
>the newest friend is a cute female who I've been talking to a lot lately
>one day tells me the story of how she lost her virginity
>she fucked a stranger she met an hour before while his friend watched
>came back to them a week later and had sex with both of them at the same time
>she was 19 and she's now 21
>had a crush on her before hearing this but it completely changed my view of her
>she subsequently tells me she likes me more than as a friend
>tell her the feeling isn't mutual, that she's a great girl but I just don't look at her that way
>she keeps asking me why
>keep dodging the question
>eventually she yells in my face and insists that I tell her
>give in and respectfully tell her that the virginity story was just too odd for me to deal with
>she gets mad and screams at me
>"I told you a secret because I respected you, and you're using it against me?"
>try to explain that I don't think less of her, she just doesn't fit me romantically
>doesn't listen
>next couple of days, most of my friends are acting strange
>female friends give one-worded answers
>only my oldest friend seems to not give a fuck
>he tells me to just let it blow over
>doesn't blow over 2+ months later
>no one listens even when I tell them what really happened
This was almost 3 months ago and it seems like my whole group is trying to push me out. I've known most of them since elementary/high school and now I'm suddenly like an enemy to them. What the fuck do I do?
TL;DR I respectfully told a female friend I couldn't date her because of some sexual stuff she did, so she told my whole friend group I slut-shamed her and now they dislike me.
Friend groups are stupid anyways, just hang out with the couple who didn't care. Even if this didn't happen, those would be the only ones you'd hangout with after high school. I've been out of high school for four years now and I still hangout with my few best friends from middle/high school multiple times a week. Leave the group and your real friends will follow. If they choose some lame girl over you then they are not your friends. Spend some time alone or find new people if you have to, it's way better than having the people you spend time with look down on you for a petty reason. I just realized you're not in high school but same shit still applies, people never grow out of the high school mentality anyways. Quality over quantity applies to basically everything, especially friends.
>>16617180
this
lol i can't believe you stuck around for 3 months like a cuck. just move on, your friends are dogshit for just taking her word against yours without even asking you.
>>16617108
Sounds like you actually just had one friend in your fucking faggot circle of faggots. Anon, remember one true is friend is better than 15 so so friends. Anyways that chick is fucking crazy.
Strange your male friends judge you when it comes to hoes.
My friend left some chick at a restaurant (that was closed) and just left her there. She was hitting on every dude possible and had a boyfriend beforehand. Didn't give a shit and still friends to this day.
You have some weird ass "friends" Tbh. I can't even imagine a man getting mad because some girl was being a ho and you said something about it.
>>16617108
Women are fucking viscious and will do everything in their power to turn people against you if you reject them for being a slut.
You didn't fuck up, you just had the misfortune to cross paths with a total bitch.
>>16617248
Should have fucked her in the ass first at least
Telling her the truth wasn't a smart move. I know you didn't mean to shame her, but some girls are quick to throw around that word if you judge their sex life. And to be fair, it's difficult to explain you won't date a girl because of something sexual she did without sounding a tad condescending.
I guess she blew things way out of proportion when she told your friends. Was she present when you tried to explain yourself? Because if she was, your friends probably didn't want to cause a scene or get accused of choosing sides.
Try speaking separately to each of your friends. Tell them you've noticed they treat you differently ever since that incident happened. Don't blame the girl, just explain to them that you never meant to shame her in any way.
Maybe you can say it like this "Judging by her story, I assumed she's a girl who likes to be adventurous and experimental in bed. I'm not the same way, I prefer to keep things simple in that respect. We both want different things so I just think we wouldn't be sexually compatible. That's what I tried to tell her. But I probably didn't phrase it right and unintentionally gave her the impression that I was judging her for it."
Once you told everyone and you get the feeling everyone has at least somewhat calmed down, apologise to her in front of the entire group. Even if the girl doesn't accept it, your friends should at least respect it.
If that doesn't work, you're probably better off finding new friends. If you've known them for that long, they should know you didn't mean it like that and they'd rather question the new girl.
And like the other Anons said, it's strange that your male friends judge you for it.
>>16617180
>>16617191
>>16617198
>>16617206
>>16617245
>>16617248
>>16617253
I guess I know what I should do with people like these. I was just hoping there would be a rational reason for their behavior, but apparently women stick with women and men believe women more than other men or something? Idk.
>>16617277
>Telling her the truth wasn't a smart move
She insisted and I cracked under the pressure and I wanted to just let it out. It was dumb but it happened.
>And to be fair, it's difficult to explain you won't date a girl because of something sexual she did without sounding a tad condescending.
I don't understand why that is. It's just another part of someone that is hard to accept to me. Nothing wrong with that. Why do people have to make a big deal out of it?
>Was she present when you tried to explain yourself?
No. Even though I was alone with most of them, most female friends just said "uh-huh" to my explanation, and male friends said things along the lines of "yeah whatever it's fine".
>apologise to her in front of the entire group
Yeah I´m not going to do this. I don't feel the need to go on my knees for friends who believe some harpy they barely know over me. I'm not going to fucking apologize without having done anything wrong.
>If that doesn't work, you're probably better off finding new friends.
I guess so. I'll just ignore them for now, and if they come to me then that's fine. Otherwise fuck it, my oldest friend and I have been friends forever and I'll be fine with just him around.
>>16617386
>Telling her the truth wasn't a smart move
Fuck that. No one should have to be ashamed for their values and preferences. Neither you, nor should she. She likes to fuck around, you don't. You should be unapologetic about who you are, as long as being you doesn't mean hurting people.
>>16617386
Just giving you some advice on how to salvage this diplomatically. I know you have to jump through a lot of hoops to get this shit fixed, and I wouldn't look forward to apologizing to that bitch either. It's mostly advice if you really, desperately want to solve this.
If you prioritize your values over your group of friends, more power to you. Can't blame you for that. This situation shouldn't have exploded like this in the first place.
> Why do people have to make a big deal out of it?
People get easily offended nowadays. As soon as you tell a girl you don't like something sex-related she did, many are going to automatically assume you think she's a slut. It's not fair, I know. I blame the hugbox culture and femnazis.
>>16617493
This guy gets it.
>>16617493
This.
>>16617108
lol what a complete whore. She's just mad she is out of your league anon. Ditch the shitty group if they dont give you a chance. People are shit so why bother.
>>16617108
>>have a group of friends of 5 females, 14 males
what kind of gay shit is this? why would you even bother making time to talk to this fucking many dudes? what the fuck is wrong with you? are you sure its exactly 14? are you sure there arent 1 or 2 or 40 other dicks you forgot to mention?
>>16617643
>what kind of gay shit is this?
What? I'm not hanging out with them individually every day or w/e. Most of the time we hang with the whole group.
>are you sure its exactly 14?
Yeah because it's kind of a joke in our group. Every time we get a new guy, another one leaves or vice versa. We've never had more/less than 14 for longer than a month for the last 6 years.
>>16617493
Yeah that's what I think too. Unfortunately that's not the "PC" thing to do these days.
>>16617615
>hugbox culture and femnazis
The most annoying thing these days. People can have gangbangs with their whole city as far as I'm concerned, but it's annoying when I can't even say that I don't want to date a person who does that.
>>16617108
>be a slut
>don't get called out on it
>complain anyway
feneminists get out REEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>16617108
The maiden let out her displeasure distress signal. Her loyal white knights and orbiters have answered the call. They will now do their best to out you from the pack.
>>16617691
The exact reason things are getting this bad is that people care what is or isn't PC. The only thing you should care about when it comes to things like this is keeping your job. You don't do things that are frowned upon at your workplace. Everything else, you do what you want (again, unless that means hurting people).
No other person's feelings are worth losing your own identity over.
>>16617691
>Yeah that's what I think too. Unfortunately that's not the "PC" thing to do these days
Lol who gives a shit about what bitches think, men or women. People who give into PC culture are mostly cunts who want to control others because they cannot believe they have any control in their lives.
I can understand why there is PC culture. People want to interact with each other without being cunts and being a bit respectful. I can get that. But there is a difference between being respectful and a pushover, a difference between being honest and being tactless. Seems like you handled it pretty well but your friends are being immature.
>>16617108
>What the fuck do I do?
Get real friends desu.
And call her out for being batshit fucking creepy, no one is obligated to explain in detail why they're not attracted to a given person. It's not something that needs an excuse.
>>16617108
She's right. You're a dick.
The friends who now distance themselves from you are wrong, though. They should love you no matter how much of an idiot you are.
>>16617912
>You're a dick.
Welp, now we're here, let's hear why I'm a dick?
>>16617921
>>16617912
Inb4 op gets baited to hell and back.
>>16617921the b8 has been taken,kek
>>16617108
You dun good, OP.
>>16617921
Because a person's sexual past shouldn't matter. It's not because she did that weird shit two years ago, that that means she couldn't be a wonderful, faithful girlfriend to you now. That's slut-shaming: generalizing a person's identity because of her single action. Who says she doesn't already hate herself for it? Enough people are already judging her for it, including herself most probably. I get that you don't understand nor approve of her behaviour, but you're an idiot if that specific event makes you lose interest in her entirely.
>>16617999
Don't guys love it when a girl has experience? Or are you intimidated that she isn't a "pure", submissive girl that will do whatever you ask her to?
>>16617999
Alright now I have a problem with you, because if that's your definition of slut shaming then slut shaming is perfectly okay ITS CALLED A PREFERENCE somebody may have killed someone 10 years ago in a wild fit IDC if there totally reformed I'm not dating that person. Obv that anology and the slut were talking about are different but its still the same rule. in the hunt for a mate I have final say on who I want hell I could not like your eye color and say that's why I can't date you and you have no right to be upset because its MY preference
>>16618012
Now that sounds like an entitled white male. You can keep defending yourself hoe you want, go ahead and disagree with me and all of the friends that are leaving you because you're an asshole.
>>16617386
> I'm not going to fucking apologize without having done anything wrong.
But you did do something wrong. You slut shamed her.
The fact that you won't apologize shows that you're a dick too.
Your friends probably just latched onto her story to cut loose the asshole of the group. And that would be you.
>>16617959
I don't think they're trolls casting bait, they're probably just sluts.
>>16617999
Oh, piss off, that's not slut-shaming. Nobody bears any responsibility for what they're attracted or not attracted to. I've turned girls down because they were too feminine and I'm much more attracted to the short-haired, slightly androgynous tomboy type. It's not a fucking judgment on girly-girls, just a preference I can't do anything about.
ITT: Personal preference equals slut shaming
>>16617999
The fact that X time has passed since she has done Y, doesn't change the fact that it happened. Even if it was 50 years ago, I don't care. It's my right to decline someone on whatever basis, and it might make my standards "unconventional" or "overly specific", but there's nothing wrong with it. You did something, it can have consequences.
>>16618006
There's a huge difference between fucking random guys and having had a boyfriend. The vast vast vast majority of men wouldn't give a shit about the latter, but many guys care about the first. No one said anything about pure or submissive.
>>16618021
Friends who leave because someone has a preference =/= friends.
>>16618027
>preference = slutshaming
Great.
>>16617108
you need new friends that aren't brainwashed idiots.
>>16617999
>women can date whoever they want, men have no right to choose
>>16618033
> Nobody bears any responsibility for what they're attracted or not attracted to.
Bullshit. She had fun one night, and you can't take the fact that you might be Mr. Tiny Cock compared to them. Don't even want to take the chance.
That isn't preference. It's just fear. And fear you CAN control. Enjoy being alone.
>>16618050
Kid, I don't know who you think you're responding to, but I'm sitting across from my fiancee literally right now. You know, the aforementioned short-haired tomboy type.
Look, people have different sexual personalities. Some people are viscerally squicked out by casual sex/certain fetishes, and voyeurism/cuckolding (whatever it was) certainly qualifies. I'm not sure why that offends you so much, but it's not insecurity (and it's worth mentioning that it's not one of those people, so you can cool it with the shots at me before you embarrass yourself any further.)
You have an absolute right to reject anyone for any reason, so long as you're not a dick about it. That's what personal fucking agency is all about. Absolute, inviolable, and unconditional.
(And yes, I do realize that might have been bait, but this IS the impression people get from a lot of modern feminism, and it's simply not representative, so I'm assuming sincerity even though this is probably just some dipshit. I think it's worth addressing.)
>>16617108
She got butt hurt because you're probably the first to stand by his ground and word of not being with a girl of her preferences. You did good, she's butt hurt and your friends are pussies with no similar views of sex to yours
You need to get more friends that share your taste in other areas, not just the friends you have. Not saying to ditch them, don't. But having a small group like that and not expanding your horizons is kinda not good
Tldr: You did good, disregard what they say. She's butt hurt, ignore her butt hurtled bickering
>>16617108
You sound like a complete asshole and you were slut shaming. Why would this make you not want to date her? Judging someone because of past sexual exploits is the definition of slut shaming. Your "friends" probably don't like you much anyway and are happy to have this excuse to stop hanging out with you.
I hope one day a woman rejects you for being a virgin loser, and then you're going to come here complaining about being virgin shamed. Not wanting to be with a girl because she's had casual sex before is the most beta shit ever. You're going to die a lonely virgin if you keep this up.
>>16618092
You drop your fedora senpai.
>>16618081
>>16618092
I'd be perfectly fine with it. I don't agree with it, but there's nothing wrong with her being selective.
Their reaction is overblown and a bit silly.
They will realize how stupid they are acting, eventually.
But... honestly. Most people, girls included, have an curious, horny inner whore.
Girls experiment, even the "innocent" ones. Random hookups, threesomes and so on - it's normal.
Accept it. People are sluts and its ok.
>>16618038
Then you better accept the consequences of people not wanting to be friends with you. That's their right as much as you are entitled to have your "preferences". Suck it up.
It's unfair that male sluts don't get treated like this because "boys will be boys" while a girl "let herself go too much" and somehow that means she's no longer girlfriend material, while a manslut can perfectly get married.
>>16618033
But that's the thing: how does this past behaviour of her define her identity?
>>16618158
women aren't expected to sustain a family or go to jail because they didn't pay child support.
Being cautious about what kind of woman you want to date is a rational thing that every eloquent man should do.
>>16618163
Why would it have to?
>>16618163
it shows already signs of poor judgment, trying to keep a relationship with someone like that is nothing short than a waste of time.
>>16617108
Some time ago i used to hangout with a stupid friend group like you, only after i realize how shallow they were, i became disgusted of them and cut contact with most of them, this friend group was basically people gossiping about each other and hanging out to take pictures for instagram and facebook, since i left i've made way better friends and when i look behind to those people who only cares about status i feel disgusted that i was part of it, just move on and make sure to keep the real friends that you have, i think after all, they've made a favor to you
>>16618172
So a woman with a fun sexual past is the same kind of woman who will divorce you and make you pay child support?
I wait for the day where 4chan will come up with better arguments against feminism than "men have it harder because chils support" and "ugh women get free things for having tits."
>>16618178
How is this poor judgement? You losers do realize that there's nothing wrong with sex, right?
>>16617108
Wouldn't you be mad if someone refused to date you because you once had a threesome with 2 chicks? Why is there a double standard when she does it?
>>16618184
What does being a slut have to do with feminism?
>>16618178
So you're saying her being interested in OP is a sign of poor judgment? Would you have sex with two women? Isn't that every man's fantasy? Would it be poor judgement if you did it?
>>16618038
You sound like a bit of a hypocrite, OP
If you hold that it's your right to look down on people or think less of them for their sexual past. Then you have to accept that it's your friends' right to think less of you for judging a person along these lines.
You don't get to control everybody around you, and you don't get to dictate the grounds on which people judge you. She made a decision to be a slut, you made the decision to hold this against her. But look at the language you use. When you treat her differently, its a "preference", yet when your friends treat you differently it's all "why do people have to make a big deal out of it?"
>>16618092
>>16618192
dudes are allowed to have lots of sex without stigmatization
ladies aren't
equality and all that shit
>>16618038
You have a preference to judge people that enjoy sex. They have a preference to judge you for being a complete asshole about this.
>>16618192
It's the whole fucking point of it. Men dictating women how to have sex has restricting and oppressing women for centuries.
>>16618184
it might not be certain but it would be more likely.
If a woman that has been a carrousel for dicks is single, isn't because loyalty, respect and honesty are her best qualities.
>>16618158
I doubt they actually know what happened, since she told them that I literally shamed her and called her a slut for the sex she had, which never happened.
>>16618163
I viewed her in a different way, and by knowing what she did, the view has changed (and become more accurate actually, because I now truly know that side of her).
>>16618207
Uh huh. And when did OP do that?
>>16618065
> I'm sitting across from my fiancee literally right now.
That's her problem. Don't involve me in it.
> Some people are viscerally squicked out by casual sex
One night. It was one night, and you fedorafags are treating her like she's the whore of Babylon.
What blows this whole "personal preference" bullshit excuse out of the water is that he did like her. If she had said that she was still a virgin, he would have hit that. Hard. And bragged about it to all his friends.
This is why I say he's just scared that he can't measure up. End of story.
>>16618038
The only people that care about girls having casual sex are religious bigots with sticks up their ass. Stop acting like you're superior to her and just admit that you're a complete asshole. It's very clear why your friends don't want to hang out with you.
So many filthy sluts in this thread, taking it personally as if it was another dick
>>16618191
I wouldn't be mad at all. I'd be disappointed. And if many "quality" women disliked promiscuous men, I would probably not be promiscuous, even if I had the chance to be.
>>16618210
>I viewed her in a different way, and by knowing what she did, the view has changed (and become more accurate actually, because I now truly know that side of her).
Your friends view you in a different way. By knowing what you did, the view has changed (and become more accurate actually, because they now truly know that side of you).
>>16618210
> because I now truly know that side of her
Oh boo hoo. she's a real woman, and not a 2D waifu.
Pathetic.
>>16617999
>Because a person's sexual past shouldn't matter.
But it does. If I'm with a guy or a girl, I want them to value things in the same way that I do. And for me, that means not sleeping around with strangers and keeping sex to long-term relationships. My guy and I are both each other's second, and we're happy that way. My first slept around with 50+ women, and it showed in the way he acted around other women and when it came to sex/the relationship. I don't dislike him for it, but it just wasn't what I was looking for. I know there's someone out there for him, but it just wasn't me.
>>16618209
And why is that? Don't you think it takes a lot of respect and honesty to have sex with two strangers? What the fuck does loyalty have to do with it? Did she cheat on someone when she did the threesome? NOPE.
Why do people assume that a woman who thinks for herself, wants fun and gets it when she wants it is an idiot for doing so?
>>16618221
Lol, you obviously aren't promiscuous and never will be. If you're lucky you'll finally get to have sex in your thirties when you marry an ugly christian girl. It's what you deserve for being such a prick.
>>16618194
Because sex is directly related to an SO but not to a friend?
>>16618186
I just assume is poor judgement because:
1. they were completely strangers
2. You don't know what kind of diseases the could have or what could had happened to you for hanging out with strangers, therefore, poor judgement.
3. It shows that you can't think two steps ahead, you act without considering the consequences which is a stupid and immature thing to do.
hey, I'm not stopping you from going out there and dating/marrying women like the one OP describes.
If being a woman that sleeps with multiple randos at the same time is a quality you want in your children's mother, is not of my business.
I'm just saying that OP's has the right to pick carefully whoever he wants to date.
>>16618239
No, he doesn't. Only women get to choose their partner, don't you see?
>>16618210
I'm gonna be real with you, anon. The whole "I'm allowed to judge people, but they aren't allowed to judge me" thing is off-putting. That's the vibe you've been giving off this entire thread.
Is it really that hard to imagine that your friends feel the same way?
>>16618210
So then you proceeded to explaining in details that you weren't actually being a dick, by which you confirmed them that you actually are a dick.
That's kind of like my boyfriend got mad when I called him a racist for telling a racist joke.
>>16618235
>Don't you think it takes a lot of respect and honesty to have sex with two strangers?
I don't know about the rest of your story, but literally no. Plenty of, if not most, people act differently when they want to get laid. I wouldn't be surprised if those guys told her they were millionaires just to fuck and chuck her.
>>16618184
No. If I'm a man who doesn't want to have casual sex, then a woman who has a "fun sexual past" is less likely to be emotionally compatible with me, than someone who hasn't.
>>16618186
There's nothing wrong with sex, but some people attach different significance to it than others. People usually prefer to start relationships with likely minded people.
>>16618193
It's not every man's fantasy. Some men dream of only having sex with one person their entire lives.
>>16618194
Who said anything about looking down on her? He just doesn't want to date her. He wanted to stay friends with her, too.
Although I do agree that the friends ostracizing him this easily could mean that he's a shitty friend otherwise, but we weren't given much information about that.
>>16618237
>Because sex is directly related to an SO but not to a friend?
their judging your personality, which is pretty key to friendship
The key point here is that you are entitled to make a judgement, but your friends are not. Do you honestly not see where you're stepping on your own toes a little?
>>16618239
>diseases
It doesn't specify that it was unprotected, so it's safe to assume condoms were involved.
Yeah, having sex with a stranger an hour after you met him may not be the smartest move ever, but she was 19. I'd rather date an adventurous girl like that than some boring religious virgin.
>>16618227
They think he called her a slut. Which he didn't.
OP's "friends" probably don't know about the fucking 2 strangers part of the story either.
>>16618245
Damnit, why didn't I discern this earlier. It's sexist for a man to ever turn down a woman. I now see the light
>>16618236
I don't understand the hostility. I never said I thought less of her or didn't want to be her friend. I simply said I wasn't into her romantically. Then she lies to all her friends about me calling her slut.
And that makes me the prick?
>>16618211
OP is putting women's sex lives under conditions in order for them to gain his respect. He claims a right to freedom of speech while retricting women's right to a private life (which includes sex life and sexuality).
>>16618259
>They think he called her a slut. Which he didn't.
You're a small minded person if you think the word itself is more important than the meaning.
There's a clear implication that OP feels that she is devalued because of her sexual past. He was willing to date her, but for this information.
>>16618212
Exactly. This whole thread teaches women to be dishonest about their sexual lives.
>>16618246
>>16618256
They're entitled to make a judgment, I'm just saying that it seems their judgment is completely unrelated to the issue, in addition to being based on a lie.
>>16617386
You weren't wrong or stupid to have told the truth. She didn't have to tell you that weird ass story.
She probably just told you about it to impress you with how good she is at getting Double Stuft. And when her little plan backfired, she chose a trendy way to make you look like a dick.
If anything, your "friends" are the ones being judgemental assholes for listening to this girl instead of someone they've known much longer.
I know how that feels though. I'm sorry all that happened to you, anon.
>>16618265
I ain't restricting anything. She can do whatever she wants, but it has consequences to certain people. How difficult is it to understand that?
>>16618257
good for you, there is a whole market waiting for you out there.
Why are you wasting your time in an anime imageboard instead of fucking all those adventurous girl you like so much?
>>16618265
That's a lot of big words for something that has no basis in reality. Respect is not relationship. No claim of freedom of speech was made. All that happened was that OP refused to become someone's boyfriend.
>>16618273
>being based on a lie
see
>>16618269
It doesn't matter what you say or how you justify it to yourself. That's what you did, that the impression you gave, and that's what people are judging you on.
Beyond this, you seem very quick to blame other people for your problems. You haven't for a second considered why people react this way to you, just that they must be wrong or mistaken in doing so. Its another off putting quality.
It's weird, because where I come from, girls are actually the biggest slut-shamers. Guys don't even care, or get interested, thinking they might get in there easily, but girls are vicious.
>>16618261
Yes, it does.
You're implying that the only reason that you won't date her is because she has had sex before. That's a way of saying you think less of her because you think she's a slut. If there were other reasons you didn't want to date her, then it would be fine. But it sounds like her sexual past is the only thing you find noteworthy about her. You're saying you don't care about her as a person, you only care that she's had sex.
How you don't understand this is beyond me. And based on what you've said in this thread I'm shocked there were people that actually wanted to hang out with you at one time. You're awful persecution complex of "I can judge people because I'm superior to them, but I'm mad when they judge me" is fucking unbearable.
>>16618271
> This whole thread teaches women to be dishonest about their sexual lives.
Around little boys, yes. They can't handle the truth.
The only thing women need to be honest about is their STD status. Everything else is between women only.
OP YOU ARE NOT WRONG
YOU STOOD BY YOUR VIEWS/VALUES AND DID NOT FALTER
SHE IS BUTT HURT
PEOPLE DEFENDING HER ARE BUTT HURT AND ARE TRYING TO GUILT TRIP YOU
YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO SAY YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED. SHE NEEDS TO MOVE ON. YOU NEED TO STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK
THIS THREAD IS SHAMING YOU FOR HAVING AN OPINION. NEWSFLASH, PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT PREFERENCES.
UGH
>>16617108
>give in and respectfully tell her that the virginity story was just too odd for me to deal with
nothing wrong with this. You have your standards and expectations and you don't need to apologize for that. But...
>it seems like my whole group is trying to push me out
is their right as well. If they thought you acted inappropriately for whatever reason, then they have their own standards and expectations and shouldn't be expected to apologize either.
Basically you didn't really click with these guys on this issue and they felt strongly enough about it that they decided to stop talking to you over it. The proper course here is to let them go and find new people. You are free to find their reaction stupid, but it's their choice to make.
All of you people here yelling at OP, you have still not explained why he should be obligated to date this woman.
>>16618287
Okay I'll try one last time with an example:
>punch friend lightly on the shoulder for saying something stupid
>friend goes around screaming about how I punched him in the face
>other friends believe him and avoid me
Does that sound fair?
>>16618282
Because it's only 1 PM and interesting people don't go to bars until 9 or 10.
>>16618294
>You're implying that the only reason that you won't date her is because she has had sex before.
I don't think that's what he implied at all. It's one thing to have sex with a bunch of strangers and another to have sex in long-term relationships. It's a matter of values. To me, the fact that she brought all of that up out of the blue screams red flags, and even though I don't care about a person's sexual past, I don't want to hear about all the crazy sex they've had (especially if I don't know them all that well). You don't just share that information at random with people you don't really know, unless you're trying to manipulate a situation.
>>16618294
I'm pretty sure he was just weirded out about the cuckold/voyeurism Shit... that would throw red flags for anyone looking for a steady relationship. You're nutso
>>16618300
HE SHAMED HER FOR HAVING AN DIFFERENT OPINION ABOUT SEX THAN HE DOES.
NOW WE'RE SHAMING HIM FOR BEING AN ASSHOLE.
STOP DEFENDING THIS ASSHOLE
>>16618305
>All of you people here yelling at OP, you have still not explained why he should be obligated to date this woman.
Because if he doesn't, he's a misogynist
>>16617108
Wow that sucks and is stupid.
She's literally trying to socially destroy you for not submitting to her. That's a bitch thing to do.
>>16618245
Obviously he does have the right to carefully pick whoever he's dating. The idea of women being tainted because alien dick has entered them before yours, is kinda medievalesque. I wish I could say the times of women being stoned for getting raped are over, but they aren't. Sexism has law and violence on its side. Men need to understand how heavy-weighted a simple thought like that can be and have to take responsibility for it when people get pissed off.
>>16618294
>You're saying you don't care about her as a person, you only care that she's had sex.
If she was abusive, I would do the same thing.
If she ate shit for breakfast, I would do the same thing.
If she has piercings, I would do the same thing.
Etc.
The fact of the matter is, I care about a lot of qualities but some are dealbreakers. That's why they're called dealbreakers, and literally everyone in the whole world has them, even if their love interest is otherwise perfect.
>>16618321
>HE SHAMED HER FOR HAVING AN DIFFERENT OPINION ABOUT SEX THAN HE DOES.
But he didn't. He stated that they were incompatible and she wouldn't take the hint.
>>16618305
He's not. But if the only thing he has against her is her sexual past, he's a slut-shaming asshole. Slut-shaming a girl to her face is a reprehensible action and this asshole needs to know that.
>>16618254
As a woman, I had "not being raped" in mind but obviously lying about your identity is way worse.
>>16618325
>The idea of women being tainted because alien dick has entered them before yours, is kinda medievalesque.
Just because it's from a certain time period doesn't make it wrong.
>have to take responsibility for it when people get pissed off.
>someone else has to take responsibility when I throw a temper tantrum
>>16618321
>HE SHAMED HER FOR HAVING AN DIFFERENT OPINION ABOUT SEX THAN HE DOES.
But he didn't
He doesn't like her because she doesn't share the same views of sex like he does.
Men discriminate preferences based on boobs. Women do the same with dick sizes. And both genders regardless of sexuality discriminate based on:
1) Sex from marriage only
2) Sex with serious relationships only
3) Carefree sex
She is number 3. He is number 2. He is not compatible with her. She needs to move the fuck on and stop acting like a child. OP needs to grow the fuck up and stop caring about what others think.
OP should put her in her place in front of all the people she lied to and tell them what exactly happened. He isn't interested, plain and simple.
If a guy gets shot down by a girl for whatever personal reason; the guy is going out of line for lying to people saying that she called him a faggot when that never happened.
Stop being so butt hurt
>>16618307
That's a retarded analogy. The implication is not lessened by the fact that you didn't outright call her a slut. She's a cunt for lying, but that doesn't make you any less of a hypocrite.
>Tell somebody that you don't want to date them because they're "african american"
>she tells everybody that you called her a nigger
>now everybody thinks you're racist
>IM NOT RACIST BECAUSE I DIDN'T EVEN CALL HER A NIGGER
>>16617999
Go back to tumblr please
>>16618335
I don't understand what this sentence means but I made my point: people are almost never honest when it comes to casual sex.
>>16618280
"It has consequences" sounds like you are punishing her for her behaviour.
>>16618326
you're perfectly entitled to make your judgement. Nobody disagrees with you on this point.
The issue is that you refuse to accept that you're a hypocrite. You're allowed to have dealbreakers, but your friends aren't.
>>16618325
So a man isn't allowed to respectfully, politely turn down a woman who has spoken to him fondly about her first time being a cuckold/voyeurism experience. That would weird me the fuck out. Haha
>>16618325
>obviously he can choose
>let me list all the reasons why he doesn't
Also
>I hold the responsibility for other people getting offended
>>16618285
We are discussing OP's attitude more than the fact he said no to her. Pay attention.
>>16618347
Sounds like you're shaking Anon for having preferences
>>16617999
Oh what the fuck ever.
>>16618353
and his friends did the same thing
kinda sucks to be on the other end of the shame stick, doesn't it?
>>16618290
Yeah, duh. Girls being sexist is the whole reason sexism still exists. Thanks for catching on.
>>16618340
Yeah, I agree with this. But most people in category 1 or 2 are uptight assholes that feel the need to shame anyone in category 3. And when I see these assholes, I need to tell them how much of a prick they are. If you only want to have sex with one boring person you're whole life, go ahead. But don't try to shame me and others for viewing sex as a fun thing to do. That's clearly what OP is doing here. It's the 21st century, and you religious bigots don't run everything anymore.
>>16618359
But his friends believe in a lie and aren't real friends. That's the problem, not that they too have preferences.
>>16618352
So we're getting offended over what some stranger thinks? Okay, got it.
>>16618021
What does him being white have to do with his sexual preference of not wanting a girlfriend who sleeps with random strangers and their friends?
I read this whole idiotic thread and nobody even fucking bothered to ask OP if he would date her if she were exactly the same hadn't had a threesome when she...
>rereads story
>she was 19 and she's now 21
>now 21
>21
Suddenly it all makes sense. Everyone we got a baby here don't waste your time.
sexual compatibility is important to any relationship
personality compatibility is important to any friendship
OP lacks the maturity to understand that while he is free to make judgements about people, they are also free to make judgements about him. That's literally all there is to this thread.
>>16618341
Your analogy is wrong:
>Tell somebody that you don't want to date them because they're "african american"
>she tells everybody that you shamed her for being african american
>now everybody thinks you're racist
>IM NOT RACIST BECAUSE I DIDN'T EVEN SHAME HER FOR BEING AFRICAN AMERICAN
ftfy.
I didn't shame her in any way. I didn't even say "sleeping with people is wrong and you should feel bad". Shaming someone is completely different from telling them you don't agree with their values. Is doing the same thing to a Christian girl, shaming her for her religion? I would think not.
>>16618212
>This is why I say he's just scared that he can't measure up.
Nah, you said that because you're stuck in a third grade mindset where you think you can goad people into doing shit by saying they're afraid of it.
And holy shit, what a revelation you had up there. Personal preference is bullshit because it's possible to deceive people. Anyone who ever got catfished just won a free fedora.
>>16618271
>Exactly. This whole thread teaches women to be dishonest about their sexual lives.
Well it's certainly teaching guys to dishonest about their motivations.
Also, consider that some people might not mind someone who fucks random strangers but at the same time might be turned off by someone who brags about the fact. What you do AND what you say can change peoples opinion of you.
>>16618257
>I'd rather date an adventurous girl like that than some boring religious virgin.
Wow just wow I can't believe you're virgin shaming in 2015 I can't even
>>16618348
I never said "not allowed". I asked for an explanation and a possible solution.
>>16618374
What are you talking about? Virgins are losers and deserve to be shamed
>>16618368
1. It sounds like Tumlrb8 talking.
2. I'm black (but white on the inside if that counts).
Still thanks for the argument.
If you aren't a slut you deserved to feel shameful. Only boring religious idiots want some shitty virgin. #slutpride
Thread makes me feel old. I remember when women wanted men to be LESS shallow.
>>16618373
>"sleeping with people is wrong and you should feel bad"
Even though that's not verbatim what you said, that's exactly what you sound like.I hope you enjoy dying a lonely virgin.
>>16618373
>I didn't shame her in any way.
and yet everybody thinks you did
and, believe or not, the fact that you didn't call her a slut, or that you don't "feel" like you shamed her is not convincing them to the contrary.
A bigger person would try and reflect on this, and why people feel this way despite your explanations. A smaller person would chalk it up to a wicked lie, and everybody being completely irrational (except for you of course).
There's nothing else to say about this. You either fall into one category or the other. Its your decision.
>>16618397
You seriously sound like bait. Does anyone else get this impression? I don't know if people actually say this stuff unironically anymore, I'm confused.
>>16618339
Well then you are clearly a sexist.
>>16618390
1/10
Seriously, people tend to stay in the middle-ground. Hopping from one extreme to another is absolutely fucking retarded. I'm no virgin, but that doesn't mean I enjoy sleeping with random strangers that I meant only moments before.
>>16618399
Give me your definition of slutshaming.
>>16618397
>I don't want to date you = you did bad and should feel bad
>>16618400
>Does anyone else get this impression?
Yeah. They're ignoring people with calm, rational posts and at the same time latching on to those that they know they'll get a rise from.
>>16618400
I get this impression. Others in the thread get this impression. She gets this impression. Even the people that used to consider you a friend get this impression. The only people that read what you said and don't get this impression are you and the sub-human "men's rights" activists that are on this site.
>>16618399
desu the fact that she had to fucking squeeze it out of him makes it pretty obvious it wasn't shaming.
>>16618399
Agreed. OP the big part of this you're missing is that it doesn't matter what you said or did. If you're going to care about what other people think, their interpretation of your words is what counts.
If she thought what you said was slut shaming, that's what you're working with. This is her reality, and now it's your friends' reality as well, and any arguing you do against it will just make you look like a douche. Even if you're right in that you really just got weirded out by the story and turned you off from her, you can't force other people to change the way they think about you just by protesting.
It sucks that she fucked up your social circle, but unless they turn around and stop thinking of you as a dick, the damage is done.
>>16618405
Treating people differently because they enjoy having sex. Which is clearly what you did.
>>16618415
>"men's rights" activists
Go back to Tumblr
>>16618405
Making somebody feel devalued because of their sexual practices.
It doesn't have to be intentional. And it comes off as pretty dickish when you dictate whether or not somebody is allowed to feel shamed by your actions.
>>16618406
Pretty much. It's basically gender swapped /r9k/ logic where not being desirable to a particular person is somehow a judgement on your worth as a person.
>>16618419
>treating people differently
>literally the only difference was his willingness to date her
Okay, then.
>>16618235
Yeah, I'd feel real respected if an hour after meeting a guy I become finger cuffs for his and his friend's junk.
>>16618416
that's your call to make, anon
Are you an OP in the same city? Maybe you two could be friends
>>16618432
>treating people differently
>an example of him treating her differently
>dismissive statement
I am floored by your argumentative abilities
>>16618428
>Making somebody feel devalued because of their sexual practices.
You have full control over how you choose to take a comment. If you feel devalued, or shamed, then that's unfortunate. But that's still on you.
>>16618428
>making somebody feel
Nobody cares what you feel.
>>16618260
Careful, now.
If a guy didn't turn down at least a few women, he'd be a pig, who only sees them as sexual objects.
>>16618442
OP feels like his friends weren't entitled to judge him
>>16618431
But from his story the only reason she isn't desirable to him is because of her story. He thought she was cute and talked to her a lot. And then she told him that, probably in a childish way of propositioning him for sex and he put his fedora on full force.
>>16618441
This is victim blaming.
>>16618446
OP feels he was judged unfairly based on a lie. Nice try, though.
>>16618451
>And then she told him that, probably in a childish way of propositioning him for sex
This just in, the way you hit on people can affect your results.
>>16618458
>OP feels
spot the hypocrite
>>16618294
It's not that she had sex, but the fact that she had sex with two total strangers, and then felt the need to tell OP about it. I'd probably pass on dating someone like that, too.
>>16618457
It's not. It's taking personal responsibility for my well being instead of allowing myself to develop a victim complex where everyone has to watch every little thing they say. I would never put that burden on someone else. I'm very much against censorship and safe spaces.
>>16618457
Victim of what? No crime has been commited.
>>16618468
>one persons opinion, kept private, which was a deciding factor on their decision to not intimately be involved with some one
>is the same as some one forcing them to tell them why you won't be with a person and fuck them and then going to every one in a group of friends and actively telling every one how she was victim
leedle leedle leedle
yeah mate, you're right.
leedle
You know, maybe if after she told him he went around telling every one how much of a whore she is and alienating every one around them it would be the same level, but it isn't.
leedle.
>>16618441
empathy and selflessness come with maturity
You don't have harm without a cause. She feels hurt and you could probably remedy the entire situation with a genuine apology.
She feels like you slut shamed her.
Your friends feel like you slut shamed her.
You explained to them why you feel differently, and it didn't change the matter.
At what point are you willing reflect on why they feel this way?
>>16618271
>Exactly. This whole thread teaches women to be dishonest about their sexual lives.
Well, yes. Would you date a guy that talks constantly about his masturbation habits? Plenty of women would never date a guy that's taken it in the ass from another guy. Some even have second thought about dating a guy that's been with too many women. But if they all kept shut about it and told you what you wanted to hear, there wouldn't be a problem, right?
>>16618480
I'm not OP.
>>16618313
This.
>>16618382
What are you talking about? Sluts have poor impulse control and deserve to be shamed
>>16618468
Did I say I care about OP's feels? Recognizing them and caring are two verydifferent things.
>>16618474
>I'm pretty wild in bed anon ;)
>m'lady, thine words infer impurity and that thou'st be not of virginity and so I reject thee
>>16618479
At what point do feelings become worthy of your consideration?
He explained his side of the story and they didn't change their minds. Why do you suppose that is?
>>16618418
Truth. You can't actually tell anyone anything. You can only tell them what they think you are telling them. So much of communication is the shit people insert themselves between your words.
And yes, we ALL do it.
>>16618500
Because they listened to her and believed her.
>>16618503
you're pretty good
>>16618500
>He explained his side of the story and they didn't change their minds. Why do you suppose that is?
Because the one who cries first wins sympathy. I'm not OP, but that's how it's always been in the various social circles I've dealt with.
>>16618457
Hey idiot, if the entire thing is based on how someone feels you also can't pin the blame on the guy because it's entirely outside his control. The whole definition is rotten because it doesn't set limits.
It's even worse in this case because she actively badgered him until he gave in and told her. Even if it might have been better if he kept his mouth shut, she was the one who instigated this, ultimately causing her own hurt feelings. It's like bugging a doctor for details about how your wife died and then blaming him for making you feel like shit.
>>16618480
The fact that I didn't actually shame her. In any way. She interpreted and conveyed my words completely differently. If you don't date a person because they have a tattoo, are you shaming them for having a tattoo?
>>16617108
disregarding the whole slut shaming topic because its 4cahn and there are too many kids here that want a pure waifu or think having sex is wrong unless they have it.
>"I told you a secret because I respected you, and you're using it against me?"
this should be enough to explain the OP.
she trusted you with that story, even tho she is probably not too proud of it in retrospect. and you did use (hold) it against her, maybe not intentionally but it's a hurtful thing having your trust broken like that and finding out you grossly misjudged someone like she misjudged you.
the fact that you wont apologize (?) and are so hard on her is plenty of reason for your former friends to be no longer be too fond of you.
suck it up or keep on standing up for that stupid ideal you believe in for a few more years.
your choice really.
It's simple. She's a slut, an attention whore and she's trying to manipulate people.
Instead of being the ''slut shamer'' you should tell your friends that she's trying to ruin your life because you don't like her and she's obsessed with you or something.
You fucked up though. She wanted to know why you rejected her so that she could use it as ammo against you. Look out for this stuff, this is what sluts do.
At the first sign of your friends acting weird you should have reacted. When you see a friend act cold or something there are two ways you can handle it. You can go ''wow, you talked to X didn't you? That fucking bitch. I didn't want to fuck her and now she's talking shit about me behind my back? What a fucking asshole.'' Act genuinely upset, call your friend a moron if they actually believe what the slut said.
Or you can act like you don't see anything wrong and just go ''you're not going to believe what happened yesterday. You know this chick I've been hanging with lately. She's like obsessed with me or something. Yesterday she was screaming at me wanting me to tell her why I didn't want to fuck her. She's fucking crazy. If you see her just tell me so I can avoid her.''
The point is, you need to be on top of it ASAP. Don't explain yourself, don't act the part of the ''slut shamer'', don't grovel and apologize. You can frame the situation in a way that you will look like a honest chap while she looks like an obsessed creep who can't deal with rejection. Whenever you get into a situation like this go with the assumption that you did nothing wrong, you're in the right and you don't have to explain yourself. If you didn't explain this girl why you feel the way you feel and you didn't try to explain your friends you'd be in a much better place right now. People don't want to hear your explanations, you have to act as if they're already on your side. Frame it in a way that they don't go ''yeah, whatever man'' and instead say ''that's fucked up, dude''.
>>16618511
>>16618503
so the mature and intelligent thing to do would have been to apologize and diffuse the situation?
Its not fair, but that's life. It's all well and good to get validation on the internet, but if OP honestly wants his friends back (like he claimed at the beginning of the thread) then that's all he can really do?
Does anybody actually disagree
>>16618520
>OP uses something she said ''against her'' by deciding he doesn't want to have a relationship with her
>she USES SOMETHING HE SAID to turn his friends against him
Retard detected. It takes like 5 seconds of critical thinking to see what's wrong with this. How do you even manage to live your life like this?
>>16618524
>just apologoze for something you didn't do
Are you serious?
...
Actually, that IS how you're supposed to deal with women. Nevermind
>>16618520
>I told you something about myself
>if it changes your view of me, you're using it against me
>>16618524
Yes, if something like this is going to cause serious issues, then everyone is better off breaking off.
>>16618518
>somebody got a shitty tattoo when they were a teenager
>keep it hidden all your life
>in a moment of vulnerability, show it to somebody else
>they reject you, because they couldn't possibly be with the type of girl who gets tattoos
If you can't understand why this would make somebody feel hurt, then there was no point to this entire thread. You lack compassion, empathy and any willingness to grow as a person.
>>16618524
>so the mature and intelligent thing to do would have been to apologize and diffuse the situation?
It's not mature or intelligent to give in to people like this. Instead, this shines a bright light on those that are truly your friends versus those that use your company for other reasons. This girl and these people that are suddenly against him have lost their value as friends. Real friends don't always agree with you, but they stick around through thick and thin. Now that OP has been abandoned, he needs to stay close to the people in the group that don't give a shit and ditch the rest.
>>16618532
No, are you retarded? Never apologize. Apologizing has never done anything good, it just makes you look weak. When you apologize you show weakness, it's like blood for a shark. When you apologize they go in for the kill.
>this thread
Hell hath no fury lmao
>>16618544
you sound like a friendship expert
>>16618544
But if you don't apologize, then you're "emotionally distant" and "don't care about her".
>>16618537
I'm not OP, but I wouldn't date a person that got a shitty tattoo in the heat of the moment either. I would (and have) dated people with tattoos, but they usually spent a lot of time ruminating on each design. You're essentially boiling this down to
>someone with impulse control VS. someone without impulse control
Wanting a partner with impulse control is not a bad thing.
>>16618537
Honestly that's a really good perspective. But to play devil's advocate here, what if it were a badass full chest tattoo that made it look like her stomach was torn open in a gory way with ribs exposed and he didn't exactly feel like banging her after she showed him. Would he still be tattoo-shaming then?
>>16618390
>shitty virgin
So it's totally acceptable to fuck anything with a pulse, and nobody should ever make someone feel like less of a person for doing so, but being a virgin is shitty, boring, and something only religious people value? Who's the closed-minded asshole now?
>#slutpride
"People keep using this word to demoralize women who enjoy sex, so let's use it ironically as a rally cry." Ugh.
>>16618537
>You lack compassion, empathy and any willingness to grow as a person.
Except he DID know it was a bad idea to tell her, and repeatedly avoided doing so.
And then in a moment of weakness he gave in, and then she used that against him.
>>16618537
I can understand why it hurts someone's feelings. I can't understand how it's my problem, and how I deserve to get part of my life ruined by lies.
>>16618562
>taking a trend from a single point of data
you're a different kind of retarded
>>16618584
You're just mad that you're wrong.
>>16618576
>I can't understand how it's my problem
because you have no friends
>and how I deserve to get part of my life ruined by lies.
you didn't, but it happened
is whining about it and seeking validation on 4chan going to fix matters?
>>16618595
>is whining about it and seeking validation on 4chan going to fix matters?
No but it certainly will make me FEEL better.
Huehue
>>16618595
>it's every man's problem when a woman has hurt feels
>>16617386
>apparently women stick with women and men believe women more than other men or something
Yeah, that's about the long and short of it.
>telling her the truth wasn't a smart move
Don't listen to that guy, she insisted that you explain yourself. Don't feel ashamed for telling the truth. It's only "dumb" if you were trying to game the system, which you weren't.
A lot of women have been taught that they should have as much raunchy sex as possible until they turn 35 and they have to settle down. You can't reason with them, if you want it your way you're going to have to find a virgin and make it work.
Your friend thought she could earn respect by telling stories of her retarded sexual liberation, and she was hoping she was surrounded by a "YEAH, YOU GO GIRL" crowd. She was trying to market herself and sound mature, completely unaware of the reality. Do NOT feel bad just because your tastes are incompatible with the ridiculous hookup culture of today.
>>16618560
That's nonsense. Actions are always better than words. How can anyone call you emotionally distant and not caring when you act like you care? Don't act bothered that someone is upset about their fee-fees. Trivialize the ''issue''. It doesn't mean you don't care about the person, it means you don't care about their petty bullshit. When you apologize and make a big deal of it that's when it becomes a big deal.
In OPs situation it's way more harmful to apologize than to say ''you're still upset about me rejecting you?''.
Just compare the two
>I am sorry I slut shamed you
Oh, so you admit you're in the wrong? You admit that slut shaming is wrong? You still don't want to date me, so it's still a problem, you're still slut shaming me REEEEEEE
>you're still upset about me rejecting you?
It's not because you rejected me! It's because of the uh..umm..the slut shaming!
>the slut what?
That's how you get over petty bullshit.
>>16618602
well, yeah anon, that's exactly what you're doing.
Your feelings of what is fair, what you're entitled to, how people are entitled to react (etc.) got in the way of you doing exactly what you needed to do to rectify the situation.
This is the bit where you reflect, act pragmatically, and look at what is actually impeding you from achieving what you want.
Or you can keep posting on 4chan and having people tell you that you're right. Like this principled fellow over here >>16618609
>>16618451
I don't tell guys I'm interested in about past sexual encounters, and I don't want them to tell me about theirs. And if they do, I definitely don't see them the same way, especially if they tell me about how they fucked multiple random women. If it's really the past, it needs to stay there. The fact that someone feels the need to tell the person they're romantically interested in about their other sexual partners is just kind of creepy.
>>16618006
>guys love it
>intimidated
Fuck off. Stop trying to tell men what they think, you obviously aren't one of them.
>>16618496
Telling your SO about what you enjoy in bed is entirely different from telling them about specific people you fucked. gg
i've had lady-friends tell me some fucked up shit in confidence and i liked them more for trusting me with that.
you take from that what you will.
>>16618629
>SO
>someone who you're not even dating yet
Exact same thiiiiiing
>>16618625
>REEEE STOP FEMSPLAINING
keep up the SJW tactics
>>16618633
People are different?
>>16618522
The only problem with this is that if OP were to do this, he'd be lying to his friends in order to manipulate them just like the girl did.
>>16618269
>>16618287
You're assuming that this is a matter of value, which is just a retarded oversimplification. You're only saying this because you want to make OP sound like he's being mean, when it has nothing to do with what he said. He isn't personally interested because of the implications on her personality.
A lot of people don't like spicy food, and some people don't like bitter or sour foods. You're operating under the assumption that REFUSING something automatically implies some kind of fundamental judgement of quality. It seems like you just want guys to automatically agree to sleep with all women because their opinions don't really matter, just their "value" they give you.
Your self-worth is determined by the opinions of others, there is nothing anyone can do to convince you because any counter-argument will be taken as a personal attack.
>>16618321
>HE SHAMED HER
How is refusing to hook up SHAMING her exactly? What the fuck is wrong with your value system? Are men not allowed to refuse women?
>>16618633
I have likewise had ladyfriends tell me some fucked up shit in confidence. I would typically tell them that that's some fucked up shit and I wished they hadn't told me.
Unfortunately, since neither of us would speak of it from that day on, it continued to happen for a few more years until I ran out of ladyfriends.
Now I'm quite alone. On the up side though, no one feels the need to fill me in on the nasty details of their sex life in spite of my repeated insistence that I don't want to know.
>>16618191
If someone doesn't want to date you, they don't want to date you. The reason is immaterial, and you're not endearing yourself by challenging the complaint.
>>16618653
Of course they aren't, silly goy.
>>16618645
If OP isn't lying in this thread then nothing I said would be lying. It's just a different perspective on the situation.
To me it sounds like an entitled spoiled woman with daddy issues being upset that a guy rejected her. The stupid slut-shaming shit doesn't even come into the equation, it's just there so she could justify her butthurt and make people hate OP.
People like this can't accept rejection. Someone who had multiple dicks in them can't possibly deal with someone rejecting them.
>>16618638
You outright said that men are afraid of women all while insisting that they all have one particular preference. You basically just accused OP of not being a man because he's "scared" of the girl he rejected but "real men" would like her.
How in the god damned shitting fuck does that make me a SJW?
>>16617108
Accuse her of prude-shaming you.
The water of logic is useless against the fire of liberal victimhood, only more fire can combat it.
>>16618537
Did the girl really tell OP this story out of a sense of shame? I got the impression that she was kind of bragging.
A tattoo I can understand revealing because that's going to be discovered if they get naked together. But why talk about past sexual experiences?
>>16618638
desu telling yourself that guys are "just intimidated by strong womxn" is right up there with telling yourself women "just don't like nice guys."
>>16617108
>eventually she yells in my face and insists that I tell her
What the fuck. You dodged a crazy bullet, OP.
>>16617108
>What the fuck do I do?
Don't give a fuck really. You gave her an answer she couldn't handle. Now she's trying to shove her guilt, blame and humiliation on you. It's ironic she emphasized the issue being a secret but suddenly everybody else knows. Not much of a secret, ehh OP? You dodged a bullet it seems. Don't compromise your standards. Defend them and stand up to them. You can't please everybody and it seems that herd mentality took over except for your male friend.
>>16618637
I wouldn't tell someone I'm not yet dating what I like to do during sex, until we do start dating.
>>16618321
Here's how it would have gone if he HAD shamed her over it.
>Her - (Relating virginity story) I lost it when I banged a guy while his friend watched.
>Him - What? You filthy whore! Hey, everybody, this freak had an audience for her hymen-busting!
Imagine an actual slut-shaming as someone literally smearing their shit on someone's face. The way this went down, it was more like she went digging in the toilet until she fished out a turd, smeared over her own face, then went screaming about how she had shit on her face.
Are you a republican OP? You sound like a republican.
>>16618659
True. It takes a lot of effort to turn 17 people you barely know against their old friend.
>>16618711
I wish I had access to my bait folder.
>>16617108
Sounds like your friend group was full of shitlords. Good riddance.
Shit like this happens when you're a kid - people do sketchy things and then try to make other people feel bad when they aren't praised for it. It is really interesting growing up and seeing which of your childhood friends either turn into pieces of shit or reveal that they were shit sandwiches all along.
>>16617245
She probably added a lot of BS to the story so she could pass off as a victim. Anyway a slut is a slut there is no such thing as slut shaming, if she feels ashamed about it then that means she herself considers what she did as degrading
>>16618659
>Someone who had multiple dicks in them can't possibly deal with someone rejecting them.
This is especially true.
People who whore around get all of their validation from people wanting to have sex with them. FYI: If you turn down sex from a whore be prepared for a shitstorm of public embarrassment and such as they do bad things to you in order to protect their ego.
>>16617493
Damn straight.
She's offended that you're disgusted by the fact she's a hoe. To hell with her, she ain't shit.
>>16618716
I don't think it's hard, you just have to be relentless. I see this type of stuff all the time. You don't turn everyone against someone in one day, it takes grooming.
I worked in a factory and I saw exactly how they do it. She probably talks shit about OP all the time.
>>16617108
Women don't handle rejection well what ever the reason. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"
I am I the only one who thinks women think in memes? Think about it. You tell a woman you don't want to date her because she was fucking around. She doesn't know what to make of it so she goes to her memebase or urban dictionary and finds the right label to attach to it. In this case it's SLUT SHAMING. Now she knows how to respond. She's not even a feminist, but she acts like the average feminists just by adopting this term.
Let's say you would tell her ''it's not you, it's me''. That's a meme. It's such a retarded nonsense phrase, but she would accept it because she knows how you're supposed to act when someone says ITS NOT U ITS MEE.
Same applies to anything, really. When you talk about something like race they will not bring arguments to the table, they will bring memes. Instead of addressing what you say they will look at all the memes they know and go RACIST! THAT'S THE WORD! UR RACIST. That's how they figure out what their position should be and how they should act.
Just look at the women in the thread, they don't present a unique position, they just spew memes like ''are you intimidated by an experienced woman?'' and ''guys love experienced women''.
Just try something like this. If you want a woman to do something, tell her ''you live only once'' or ''never say never''. If you don't want a woman to do something tell her ''better safe than sorry''. It works like a fucking miracle. It's like they are conditioned to respond to stock phrases as if they were commands.
This thread in a nutshell:
>men have no right to choose their partner
>nothing a woman does has any consequences
>social ostracism is a reasonable punishment for an imagined slight
>women's feelings matter, men's feelings don't
Am I missing anything?
>>16618832
Missing the other perspective of people speaking against this shit.
>>16618027
No, he didn't. He just found out they aren't sexually compatible.
>>16618835
So I pretty much nailed it. Good, I was worried.
>>16618021
>Now that sounds like an entitled white male
Hypocritical SJW spotted.
>itt
>virgin losers that are mad that a female has sex
>defend asshole slut shamer
You guys are all going to die alone. Shaming a girl because she enjoys sex is a horrible thing to do. Sex isn't some sacred thing, it's an animal instinct, and it's a lot of fun. Hating and shaming people because they have sex is insane. None of you would ever want to hang out with this sociopath in real life.
The ultimate irony is that you losers are probably the same type to sit on your fat asses and watch gang bang and bukkake porn, but then when you assholes actually find a girl that's into that kinda thing, you call her a slut.
Pic related, it's all of you.
>>16619046
I'm kinda neutral towards fishing, I much prefer hiking.
>>16619046
Projecting much?
>If you have this opinion you also must have this contradicting opinion
How about you fuck off
