So a life long friend and I started spending more time together.
I ended up falling in love, I told her and she didn't feel the same way so she quit talking to me for a few months.
Came back around like nothing happened. I ignored her.
Now it's been a few years and we've been talking for a few months now.
She's been dating this guy for awhile now, it's not going well from the outside point of veiw.
She asked me if I'd accept her kids. I told her yes.
She is still with this guy.
I feel like a backup plan even though she said she don't have feelings for me, she did say I still have a chance though.
If I am a back up plan if thing don't go the way she plans.
Should I accept this?
If I am a back up plan to her, that means she can see spending at least part of her life with me right?
Don't settle just because you're "in love" there are a lot of women out there.
>>17364146
Nothing like taking my wife's son to the movies.
>>17364547
So should I just ignore it for now?
Before she asked me about accepting her kids, she found out that if she left this guy and got with someone other then me we'd never be a thing.
>>17364146
You know the answer. That nagging little anxiety you have about this whole relationship with her is your intuition SCREAMING at you that there is something very very fucked up and unfair about this whole relationship.
You wouldn't have posted this question if it wasn't true.
So have some self respect! Be the fucking man you were born to be. Accept her kids? And she is not fucking you and adoring the ground you walk on?
What the FUCK is wrong with you that you feel so badly about yourself that you think this kind of treatment from others is acceptable? Where did your mother go wrong in teaching you how to be a decent good man?
>>17364146
Listen, it's one thing if she was telling you she was seeing how good you were now and that she may be developing feelings for you. Even then that'd be so suspect. I might consider it under these circumstances because if she was actually genuinely in love with me after the fact, then OK, I could POTENTIALLY try it out because I'm also in love and her feelings aren't bullshit. I still most probably wouldn't do it because it would feel so much like being used.
In your situation? Fuck no. I'm not being someone's plan B in case things don't go well. Asking me "Would you take care of my child?" without even the slightest bit of actual romantic interest? Purely for her convenience? Get the fuck out of here with that shit. I have dignity. Have some dignity, man. Don't sit here thinking about whether you should let yourself be used in exchange for a relationship based on nothing but convenience. She's absolutely leading you on to have a safety net in case she happens to need it. You're a tool to her.
OP here
Thanks /adv/ice
My irl friends wouldn't tell me this
I know what I'm going to do about it.
Thanks again
