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Last thread: >>17322959
>>17329363
I wish she thought of me as a boyfriend instead of a friend. Also wish she'd stop hanging out late at night with that other "guy" friend of her. I wanna let her go, but she'll always be stuck in my head. Especially laying down and thinking at night.
I wish I was better at letting go off the past and unanswered questions. I know I'll never get the answers now.
i wish that i had cherished you when we were together more. i took you for granted and didnt appreciate you like i should have. i realize now—only too late—that you are a perfect person for me. i miss you, and i wish i could talk with you again so i could love you like you should have been loved. i wish we could still have the future we dreamed and planned out together. i know that we never will, though.
im sorry, and i miss you so much. we never got to touch each other, but youve left a mark on my heart that i know will never fade away. i wish you would come back.
What started as an episode of constipation somehow turned into intense backpain and arthritis. Everything hurts constantly and it was all because (assumingly) I didn't take a poop in time. Why, oh why, lord must you burden me with such pain? What have I done to deserve this?
I get that sitting in a hunched posture doesn't help, but goddamn it, how else am I supposed to see the computer screen? My desks are too small, my chair is too tall, and I just have a bad habit of posturing.
I wish to fix it to prevent other problems, but it's annoying work. I would also like to find a way to prevent the arthritis from building farther, but I feel it's too late.
Also, fuck google captchas.
I can't believe after all we went through together you would treat me like such garbage. But I guess you know the way I feel about you and think that it's funny. Taunting me, calling me out on 4chan and I wouldn't be surprised if you told everyone in our social circle. How could I have wasted 6 months in my life pining after you it stuns me that I was that stupid.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH
I want you to find me, you won't make it worse, I love you, I'm thinking about youd every minute of the day
>>17329410
Anon what's wrong?? You're always screaming in threads maybe you'll feel better if you talked about it
i would never admit it, but i don't think i would have made it this far in to the year, not with everything that's happened, if it wasn't for you.
i look forward to your messages, i think about you a fair bit of the time, i fucking absolutely adore you.
that's all.
I will never fall in love ever again. I've had a ton of shit happen to me but nothing has ever hurt this bad. I feel like I'm about to fucking die and I've felt that way every day for months now. It's not her fault, it's my stupid fucking feelings. It's just better not to get attached to anyone ever again.
cancer people moved in and brought bedbugs with them and now i'm just living with this shit because i don't want to move and/or buy new furniture because i don't want to infect the new digs and/or become the cancer people
I think about you every day. I miss you so incredibly much.
Have to sleep in bed with two siblings GA one half brother and one step sister. I. On roids and side effects have included unnatural Bo and raging semis. Step sister is twelve yo Instagram addict which keeps making very sexually oriented conversation with me. Last night talking in kitchen noted she was outright staring at my cock through sleeping cottons 85% of time. Night time came and she demands to sleep in bed with me and bro. I take her phone off her after an hour due to keeping me up laughing at things on Instagram. She proceeds to try and engage in a wrestle to which I outright hit her to halt all proceedings immediately. She then proceeds to extend her leg past my bro in middle to rub it against mine. Commence instant raging hard on. Roll over and remove my self from all physical contact with anything. This worries me. Thoughts?
>>17329576
How many scoops though?
I can't get off of this stupid board.
Define scoops braae?
i'm a right wing feminist and i can't get enough of stefan molyneux
I keep thinking of you but I know it would be a bad idea to message you. I miss you, but I wouldn't know what to say besides 'hello'. It's for the best, but I can't get you off my mind.
Female roleplayers are trash trash trash
No, I don't want to play pretend with some pumpkin headed blob who'll throw a bitch fit whenever things don't go her way. Or use the whole thing to practice the navigation of a social hierarchy, something she missed out on in her teens because she was busy festering in a basement.
I've yet to meet a hamplanet who HASN'T wrote herself up a special snowflake. Or worse, a wallflower that she'll piss and moan about if we don't notice.
If you love me, please get in touch
I love you touching me, I don't want anyone else to touch me the way you do
I can't stop thinking about you ever and we have stood the test of time
I keep seeing you and our battles are all drawn
They belong to us
And you made some changes and certain markers are different and it fucks with my eyes
I get by and I don't cope so well
As with you, you make me feel so happy
Together
And where are we? Please let us be
If you care, if you think we're worth a go
i never had a reason to smile,,the way I feel about you when you touch me,,the tingle on my lips when you kissed me...be mine forever...but you cant..
Okay, definitely something bad is coming my way in life... i can sense it. What on earth could an almost shut-in do to deserve such life trials?
>>17329592
kek
I don't know what I'm doing
>>17329363
the time i spent with her is the best time i spent in years and still during those moments i wasn't satisfied. probably cause i knew it was going to end
We really need some sort of /adv/ discord or chatroom. The threads are great, but we could use one to create a sortof Advice Anonymous (ayy!) group. We vent, we get advice on the spot, we keep each other up.
With all the suicidal posts and broken relationships, I think it would be comforting and perhaps even save lives..
>>17329948
Until broken people start hooking up, then the whole place will go to hell
>>17329992
The ones that hook up would either leave or help uplift others. We're all in various stages of fucked up, man. I mean yeah I feel like shit cause of a thing with a girl two days ago but I got hobbies. What if I could spend an hour or two helping a guy by distracting him, giving him a good conversation, maybe give him a small drive to start a hobby himself so he can have something to focus on?
>>17329363
I fucked up this morning...
Met a really cute/nice girl this early morning at a job observation. I never asked for her number, as I just overlooked, and thought it might be a bit awkward/not the right place/time to do so... I haven't felt like this in a loooong time, I haven't felt butterflies like this, and I didn't attempt to take a chance of opportunity...
My boyfriend is really boring. Even sex is boring.
It's been so long since I last talked to any of my old friends that it now feels wrong to suddenly contact them again.
They've probably all forgotten about me anyway. In a way I guess I deserve this. I always wanted a girlfriend and instead of doing the most logical thing by hanging out with friends more I did the exact opposite of that.
I love you D
My first choice, always
Cum and be with mer
I'm going to suck you so hard
Soon
B
Forget it, move on. It's really hard to get on with our lives when his ex keeps hanging about
Several times. I can think of several girls back in high school and now in college that would have been great for me and made it obvious that they wanted to be more than friends. Granted, these weren't the 10/10 dream girls of my fantasies, but they were either average (like me) or somewhat attractive. Among others, there was the slightly chubby girl with big tits from freshman year, the slightly skinny redhead from sophomore year, the petite Asian chick with big tits from junior year, and the crazy girl with the big ass from senior year among others. But I never made a move.
I know for some, I was scared of what my friends would say about me if I got with those girls. Funny considering I don't even talk to those friends anymore. On another level, I was scared that those girls wouldn't really like me if they got to know me better. But more than anything, I think being the poor kid in the rich high school really got to me. I always felt like I didn't have enough "things" for those girls. My parents worked pretty shit jobs, and constantly being around all these kids whose parents were either doctors or lawyers or small business owners, these kids who all had amazing cars at 16 when my parents thought drivers ed was an unnecessary expense for me, these kids who had these big, nice houses in the nice part of the city while I lived in the crime ridden area, I think all that is the primary source for all my insecurities. For why I've never felt "good enough", even though there have been those girls that more than likely wouldn't have really cared.
And now I'm scared I'm living in pursuit of "things." I'm going to college so I have the money for "things" so I can finally compete with all those (now irrelevant) guys from high school, and now college. I'm not sure if it'll ever be enough.
All the time
You
See you there hopefully
Now I'm sad because I'm actually starting to let go and accept it.
My old friend the /vent/ thread
So I am reading the book "The art of learning" by Josh something.
Anyway, the author is a professional chess player. The way he speaks of chess inspires me in several directions. For one thing, well, I've never liked chess, but I like it's counterpart: Go.
Whenever he speaks of chess it inspires me to study go again.
But he also inspires me, through his words, to study math again.
But he also inspires me to keep studying unix/c stuff.
That's a fucking lot. So much that I can hardly focus on one thing when there are three things on my mind.
Actually, add Korean and German to that because I have other goals and learning languages is part of them.
I could decide to read a chapter of each. But I have so many hours in my day, and I have other stuff to do.
Maybe if I arrange them in a priority hierarchy? My absolute main interest lies in unix, but that's best to leave to the night, when my attention peaks.
Next I'd say math. So i may put that early in the day. Then languages, an hour each. Then, kind of as an afterthought, Go.
Sounds good but I always end up putting off half of it because for starters my attention span is very short and because when I have a lot in my mind, I tend to distract, thinking about how next I have to do other stuff
ah, sucks to be me
>>17330338
Me too
>>17330039
get out before you accidentally cheat on him
>>17329363
I have a fetish that I haven't told my girlfriend about. Every once in a while I would talk about it on a Discord chat with other people into the fetish. Not really in a flirtatious way, but just "laying it bare" so to speak. Sometimes they would try and get much flirtier with it, and I wouldn't like that because to me it feels disloyal to my girlfriend to get "into" sexual things with others, even over a chat. It culminated one night in me talking about engaging in the fetish, and a person on the chat PMed me getting very flirtatious. I stopped it all immediately, didn't reply to them, and deleted it all. I feel like I was skirting the line of emotional and sexual fidelity, and I'm not going to do it anymore.
My girlfriend is my world, and even though I haven't shared every part of my sexual world with her, I want every sexual expression of mine to be with her. End of story.
>>17330412
why can't you tell her your fetish?
>>17329363
I want to die, but my sister is pregnant and I don't want to cause her any pain
>>17330423
I just think it's a little too bizarre, and actually kind of personal to me in the sense that it's mostly a masturbatory aid. In my opinion, it wouldn't improve our relationship if she knew that sometimes I masturbated while engaging in "X". The reason that I'd talk to the people on the Discord chat about X was because I thought that talking about it would satisfy me, but it just made me feel that "skirting the line" feeling. Does that make sense? I'm trying to untangle it all in my head as well. All I know is that at the end of the day, my girlfriend deserves someone faithful to her, and that putting myself in a situation that could lead me a astray is wrong and I don't want to do it again.
I'm in love with my sister-in-law and (though she won't admit it) I think she's in love with me too. My brother and her are moving to another state in 7 weeks and I've been living with them and their 2 yo for 3 weeks. It started out with the two of us staying up all night talking while my brother worked a nightshift and has evolved to the point of staring at eachother for long periods of time and, as of last night, groping. We both know how wrong it is but we also both know how great the sex would be. No matter what, this will stay with us for the rest of our lives, but I'm just wondering if sex would make it worse.
I wanna propose to my gf , but the only reason I'm doing it is because I don't think I could get somebody that hot and cool again and I'm afraid of being alone
>>17330426
I was thinking of suicide for a while, one day I was walking my dog and I heard gun shots my adrenaline kicked in and I ran home. If I was that scared hearing gun shots then I'm not ready to die, fuck that shit it was scary
>>17330456
Hahahahahaha you made me laugh, thanks anon
You were the first to wish me a happy birthday, a simple text that made my heart race. I know we aren't dating and our relationship has always been complicated but you're the only person I want to see today. I don't need a present but I wish you'd bring me flowers or a card, just something to show you wanted to put effort into making me happy. I put so much effort into making you happy, I wish you wanted to do the same. Ultimately though I know not to get my hopes up. I'm not even going to see you.
>>17330436
I understand what you're saying now. As long as you feel okay without sharing. It seems like you really care about her and treat her right, good job anon.
>>17330638
Thanks anon. I'm just trying to make sure I didn't actually cross that hard line because the line-skirt feeling was tearing me up a bit, but I'm trying to just acknowledge that it was a mistake and move on. Everything's been deleted that could ever tempt me, and every other part of our relationship is full of love and support. I even did open up to her a little bit about another part of the fetish to her a few days ago and she was more receptive and loving than my wildest dreams. I need to give her that credit, because NOT expecting good from her is what leads to those wandering eyes. Neither of us deserve that.
Last night as I was taking a cab home the driver and I spotted a huge fire in the distance. When we arrived it turned out it was on the block I live on. We could feel the heat from hundreds of feet away. An apartment complex under construction had caught fire. It wasn't just a fire, it was an inferno. I gawked at it like an idiot with the rest of the people on the street until cops started walking up the street and telling us we needed to leave our homes because the fire was spreading. There was a huge plume of smoke and embers moving down the street.
I rushed back to my place and stuffed my backpack with some essentials and clothes, and put my cat in a carrier. The only person I know who lives close to me is my ex-girlfriend, who I was (was) on good terms with. So I called her until she picked up, and asked to stay at her place for the night. I woke her up. I caught a cab there.
She has cats too. I let my cat out of the carrier and and the cats started their standard squaring off. I told her I was sorry for waking her up and she should go back to sleep, but she wouldn't because she wanted to see what happened with the cats. After a few minutes she started giving me shit for waking her up and not having another contingency plan. She asked me if I have renter's insurance, which I don't, and gave me shit for that too. She eventually went to sleep, and I tossed and turned on her futon, and maybe slept for an hour out of the six or so I was there. I woke up, gathered my stuff and my cat, and left. I called another cab and headed back to my place, hoping it was still standing.
Thankfully, it is. The fire was contained. I just got back. My nerves are fried and I'm just so fucking pissed off that she hassled me about calling her when I couldn't think of anywhere else to go.
>>17330825
You imposed on someone else's life and put her a situation where she could either accept and let someone into her home who she didn't want there or refuse and look like a jerk.
This is mostly on you mate, least the way I see it.
>>17330825
That sucks, but at least your place is ok.
You probably should have renter's insurance, but I'm not going to give you crap for not having it. You don't need it UNTIL you need it. People are usually extra pissy/cranky when they get woken up. Again sorry, but glad everything turned out as well as it could.
I hate myself and my situation and I have only myself to blame. I went to college, barely graduated, moved without a plan, got married and then moved without a plan again. I love my wife, I love the town I'm in but I have no job. Everything available seems to be dead end shit and somehow even then I fail the interview. I took undergrad classes this summer thinking somehow doing that would help me figure out my way, but I still have no idea what to do/what I want to do. Other than not being a miserable moody bitch. Which is what I currently am. Full disclosure I am on a medication to help with add/depression. I just fucking hate myself.
>>17329363
I am so close to literally murdering my mother. NB4 edge lord! Yeah I know, just hear me out.
Since my dad exited the picture six years ago my mom has been perpetually drunk and/or high pretty much all the time. Doesn't even have a job anymore, just lives off welfare and child support from the other 3 guys she's had kids with, though I'm the one that actually works enough to keep the family supported.
I've sat on my bed with my .45 so many times thinking about ending that bitch. If I knew how to do it without putting the family at risk...
Uhg.
>>17330913
Are you me? Bloody hell, this is almost 1 for 1 my life as a kid. My sympathies man.
>>17330847
Yes, I imposed by being told to evacuate and not having a spare apartment to stay in. I'm an asshole.
>>17330848
I'm sorry to hear you're in a bad place. I've felt like you on and off for the last decade. I haven't seen a psychiatrist for medication but I probably should. I have blunted affect and I have periods of depression. But despite that, over the last several years, I've learned to stop hating myself, and actually like myself most of the time. What I did was start doing something every day that I could feel good about, that was productive. I read, or wrote, or practiced music, or meditated, or went for a jog. Just small things, every day, and forced myself to. And eventually I stopped telling myself I suck and started telling myself that I'm okay. So, anon, for one thing, you don't suck and you shouldn't hate yourself. And also, I know it's often repeated advice, but do something new and productive for 15 minutes every day, and you'll realize you don't suck. There's already enough hatred in the world; you don't need to hate yourself too.
I want to end my life. Because I'm worthless.
>>17330999
Checked.
Also he's kind of right, you were a bit presumptuous to ask like that. She'd feel bad if she turned you down but that doesn't mean she really wanted you there. You could have gotten a motel room or better yet just slept in your car. Just because you had to evacuate doesn't entitle you to stay in someone else's house.
>>17329363
well i got to take this out now. better than never. i had a friend of mine who i thought liked me so one day i dont now what was on my mind and grabbed her boobs. she was shocked . i tried to say sorry so many times. she sad it was fine but she then saw me with strange eyes. i still fell guilty to this day
I'm sitting on my bed right now shaking and crying and I can't shake this feeling of dread. I'm hyperventilating. I just want to not wake up.
>>17331001
Unless you fuck children, you're ok in my book man. Go out and meet new people. Find someone you really care about and pour your heart out to them. You are worth something to someone. Find them.
I'm sorry, i never wanted to hurt you, but to be honest i never liked you enough to stay faithful.
That doesn't mean i don't like you. I do, and i would like to be friends again.
>>17331197
It's alright, I understand that. But you have to understand that I can't get over you if you keep reminding me about you. That's why I need to let go of you, and you need to let go of me too.
>>17331197
Initials?
I'm done... you have ruled my life for 24 years and I'm FINISHED. Fuck off. You are not welcome. My life is not yours. I am not your possession. I do not have to steer my life to validate you.
I am in California, living my life. I'm trying to enjoy the last vestige of true youth. I should not feel your presence ACROSS THE FUCKING COUNTRY.
I should not be afraid of you. I should not get noticeably disturbed when you come around. You are my parent.
>>17331322
F U
Fell in love irreversibly
He felt the same, then he didn't, the. He did
I dint know what he wants
I accept him for who he is
And another man I thought maybe I didn't have the compatible personality with but he's followed me around a bit and I like him but in love with first guy and the other guy is taken, has been for years and I would never try anything, although he seems to be having problems and I'm in love with original guy but he's hot and cold, all,over me and obsessed then suddenly I can't find him again. I don't know what will happen, I see a future somewhere but I don't have feelings for all these hundreds of people I know or see
I'm in love with someone
Who really led me on
I waited for him because
I've fallen in love
And when he comes to me I get confused
Between what we had
And the unrequited, I let him come to me
And I need him but I fear I can never be the one he needed, just one
And do I love him, yes but I'm so alone
So alone
Fuck you fuck you fuck you
>>17331405
Fuck me? Fuck them? Fuck who?
I don't think it's your fault. You don't owe me anything. I can't make a move because I don't know what's real, and I don't know how you really feel. I'm happy if you are. In the darkest moments I still laugh, and I hope you do too. Everything is infinite, anyway.
Rrrraaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeffffffffs
Projecting a feeling onto you
He'll never want me again
I'm nowhere
>>17331441
All I want is you.
>>17331501
Who are you?
>>17331441
I want you too..
>>17331501
That's mine
I'm 21, I still live at home
I sleep in until 12pm, and only get up after he shouts at me a lot.
He's almost 70 now too. It hurts to hear him get mad at me.
I wake up and go drink shitty coffee because I can't afford fresh beans that I like.
Then I spend 2 hours browsing reddit and 4chan
Then I walk my dog
Then I spend another 2 hours playing video games, BTW my pc is set up in the living room because dad doesn't trust me to have it in my own room. He thinks I'm working hard studying graphic design. I'm not. I have no career prospects.
Then my dad cooks us both dinner and we eat in silence
Later in the evening I'll have another coffee and jack off to furry porn on the toilet
Then I go for a bath and watch something on my smartphone, game of thrones or something
Then I get to bed and browse 4chan until 3am
Then I fall asleep, propping four pillows behind me in a human figure shape, and I pretend it's my dead mom sleeping behind me.
This has been my daily routine for the last two or three years. The last person I spoke to my age was an old classmate about four years ago. I haven't had any friends since high school.
Pic related is the view I get from walking my dog. My dog is literally my little brother and I love him.
You're lovely and graceful
And polite and thoughtful
And kind
I hope that kindness in chivalry was not in
Thoughtfulness alone but in the love letter you read to me
And I returned a thousandfold
All I want and need is you
For life to be complete
Unite me, like you ignite my soul
A passion that lasts forever
>>17331516
Give me a sign it's you.
>>17331558
>My dog is literally my little brother
Was your mom a bitch?
>>17331575
I thought about posting this, but felt it was too cruel lol
>>17331575
Lmao. But she actually was I think, I don't really remember. She drank a lot of wine.
I wish I could escape my mental disorders.
I'm in love for the first time. Honest, true love with an amazing person. This person supports me wholeheartedly, we click on just about every level, things are so perfect. But my stupid brain problems keep rearing their ugly head. For every minor disagreement, every bit of turbulence we hit, I spin around in a vortex of "I should just call it off now. Leave before they leave you."
It disgusts me. I hate myself. I recognize my attitude, my doubts, are all in my head and I'm the only problem, but that just pushes me further into my self loathing and makes everything worse.
Sometimes I think I truly was just better off alone. Maybe I do need to end things.
>>17331583
>Sometimes I think I truly was just better off alone.
Doesn't seem like it.
>>17331583
Darling, stay with me this time
We're better together
I've been thinking, how's our cousin lover? I haven't seen him around lately, is he in jail or something?
>>17329645
Just say hello then.
>>17331441
Initials? C?
>>17331566
If it's you then........ a sign I would give is that it's almost one year since that night.
>>17331715
It's not you. I'm sorry
>>17331715
Give another hint, about the events of that night
I get drunk so I don't think of you and then I think of you even more. Why do I do this
Dear D,
You are just a real asshole to women. I mean you are a great guy and fun to talk to, but Jesus Christ you need to stop thinking you are better than everyone else. It's no wonder you are single with a child at this point, as women probably can't stand you.
I like you but I don't think you'll ever feel the same about me. Funny thing is I don't know if being with you would make me feel less empty, you just help me feel better about myself. Maybe its because you were there for me when I went through a breakup with the only person I could say I loved. I am unhappy and maybe being with you, you bring back that happiness I once had in my life at some point.
I've completely lot motivation to interact with anyone at all outside of my family and or my significant other. I still like going out and doing things, but the thought of making friends and things like networking have completely lost their appeal to me. It's funny, because I kept building myself u to actually try really hard at making friends and work on my social skills and stuff, but I just can't bring myself to give a shit anymore.
>>17331836
*lost
/adv/ wtf is going on?!
My gf of a month who is semi-long distance has had shorter and shorter responses to my texts. Usally she is literally clinging all over me. Today it's gotten to the point that I asked her what the matter was, I asked super nicely blaming myself saying I probably text too much (even though that's her). I got literally no response to this. She's straight up stopped snapping and texting me! Wtf is the problem? I really need help, I love this girl
>>17331831
initials?
I want to be fucked properly by someone who has major boner for me. You and your limp porn programmed dick bore the shit out of me. Fuck off
>>17331732
Before you left
>>17331928
This kinda reminds me of something, but it's a little too vague still.
>>17331197
You're a shitty person.
>kill yourself now.
>>17331197
Just kill yourself right now.
If I found someone like you when I never thought I could feel that way about someone again, then I can find someone else again some day
Goodnight
Why the fuck did I see kik on your phone?
I've caught feelings for this girl I met recently that I work with. She has a boyfriend but says she can feel that relationship coming to an end and wants it to end. I feel like we get along like a house on fire but she might just be quite outgoing and friendly. Plus I've never had a girlfriend (19 years old) so I could well be misinterpreting her being friendly as something more.
I've got some signals that she is attracted to me but I'm not sure. I don't think she knows that I'd like to have something more. She's given me the "You're a decent guy, you'll find someone eventually." and "I don't understand how you've always been single" which I'm sure means there's no attraction.
Just don't know what to do.
pretty much just sick of everything
shitty heroin addict brother and his wife
new job that the people suck to work with and its an hour commute until I find a place to live near it
trying to find a house to buy but I cant afford the market
my dad ho when I call him to vent about my life and see how he is doing just rambles about whatever latest documentary he just watched and then suddenly has to go and has to hang up
mom, bless her heart, that just got done with chemo
my brothers kids being placed at my parents in foster care
stupid ex gf and not getting laid in like 3 months now
seems like every time I turn around something is broken and needs fixing
fuck I dont know what to do anymore or why I bother to keep trying
>>17331981
just ask her out dude, you are young and allowed to make mistakes. Worst she can do is say no and then maybe a few people give you a hard time but you will bounce back fast and nobody will honestly care... fucking just ask her out next time she is bitching about her life or bf just offer to take her out.
>>17329657
Why can't you just contact them anon? You can't go on like this you sound so sad.
>>17331981
Dude don't listen to the other guy. Only ask her out if they break up. A girl who uses you to rescue her self from him....will one day use someone to get away from you.
Also you would be an asshole. You don't want that. Trust me been there done that and regret it even today.
>>17331984
Didn't you make a thread about this a few days ago?
Hang in there, anon. Look up support groups aimed at relatives of addicts. If not, I'm sure there are online resources out there for you.
>>17329575
Please tell them anon.. So many people wait to be told this.
I'm 24, college dropout, former heroin addict...missed out on a lot of nice stuff during my early 20s. I don't give a fuck anymore, my youth has been wasted. Think I'm getting back on the smack.
FUCK. YES. At this rate of progress.... it's all possible. Oh it's intoxicating, I'm so high on life right now. I'm gonna go for a nice drive with good music and then take my happy ass to the gym to celebrate again. Truly, this is a new life, sing it Buble.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edwsf-8F3sI
Thank you. Forever grateful.
>>17329766
be a shut in. you're about to be pushed into the world, but first, a crucible to prepare you if you take the opportunity.
>>17332110
Share a tale to celebrate.
>>17332103
why not do something more productive?
oh because it's too late right? forget that a lot can change in one year and you're still ridiculously young.
someone outta smack you.
>>17331889
I hate to break it to you, but she's probably lost interest (or, at the very worst, is seeing someone else on the side) and doesn't have the guts to come forward about it and end things herself.
If you call her and she still can't give you the time of day, or isn't willing to work things out with you, dump her. You deserve way better, being ignored and neglected sucks.
>>17332160
Amen, brother.
It's kinda trivial but I wish /adv/ as a board was a little faster. It's probably all the "click to open a box to reply in" UI clutter that makes people take 20x the time to reply as they do if I text someone irl.
want to kill myself. whats the cheapest and least painful way?
>>17332178
I wish it were faster too. I run out of threads to shitpost too quickly.
>>17331566
I don't want to lead you on. I don't know which direction I want to take right now
>>17332160
Thanks man, that's kinda what I figured but I'm still holding out a little hope that somethings wrong like the death of a family member or something. I'm probably just trying to rationalize why she can't just tell me that.
I remember when we used to talk when we were just friends about past relationships. People who just leave and move on, and how much of assholes they were and how they should remain friends if they really love each other that much. I just hope that will happen with me
>>17332264
initial?
>>17332287
Who do you want it to be to and from?
I don't know what to do. I understand she's struggling with her bipolar disorder, and I know she's taking med for it. But it just seems to be getting worse to the point where everynight she becomes emotionless and cold towards me and it's starting to kill me inside.
To make matters worse, the other night she thought I was going to break up with her and in her anger she told me she was feeling suicidal. I know that it could be a side effect of her meds but at the same time I can't shake the feeling that she might have said it just to make me stay.
My last relationship was nothing but being guilt tripped and controlled through my emotions and she knows how much that bothers me. I actually feel closer to breaking up with her after that than I ever had.
I don't know what to do.
I don't want to abandon her when she's going through such a rough time, but at the same time somethings definitly changed and I feel like the relationship is dead. Every day us a struggle to keep her in a good mood and when she slips, the anger takes over her and it hurts me to see her suffer like that.
>>17332288
Probably you.
>>17332303
Not me, I don't have a need to write to anyone. I was just curious who you thought he wrote to
>>17331441
>I can't make a move because I don't know what's real, and I don't know how you really feel.
This I feel as well. Isn't it tragic? Imagine if we are exactly the person we're pining for and we both too frightened of being hurt again that we break our own hearts, over and over, everyday. So we just wait, alone, for the other to do the thing we're too scared to do and reach out. What a mess.
I fucked Ted.
>>17332435
I hope your husband gets cancer and your son is born special ed.
Was diagnosed with anxiety in the past, but wrote it off as just being freshman year stress. Four years later, still have those feelings, but I don't want to admit I'm a pussy and take medicine for it.
>>17332311
This is a jumbled mess. Someone else keeps replying
>>17332486
As is the way of these threads. Never actually expect a specific person to reply. These threads are entirely for getting stuff of your chest, if you want a specific person to read either a letter or just ramblings, that's when you go be direct.
I wish i could quit caring so much about things. I worry about everything and it's utterly consuming me. The world, family, friends, it all leaves me with a fear of the future
Its been almost two years since we broke up and I've done nothing but think of you the entire time. The things both of us did are unforgivable but in my heart I will always love you more than anything.
My mom is right.
I give everything and go above and beyond for everyone, only to resent and hate those people because I am not treated the same way. It's a vicious cycle of giving, expecting, becoming disappointed and hateful, then back to giving the benefit of a doubt, giving, expecting, etc etc.
It makes me feel good to go above and beyond. But it does take a toll when no one is willing to at least do the bare minimum.
I dunno.
I do actually just hope someone will care for me like I care for others as well.
I have a great mom.
I hate the way I am.
You are in the mind that if we don't discuss it, then there is no problem. You are fucking WRONG.
You have a problem and we both know it. It needs to stop before I leave you and move on very suddenly. You know who is just waiting at that chance and to be quite honest, I wouldn't mind his dick buried so deep inside me... After-all, I made him wait years and he wants me, he wants me A LOT. More than you do.
It's impossible to talk to you about it, no matter which approach I take and this has been going on for TOO LONG. This is not a quick fix, I fucking get it, but if you are not really trying... on a professional level... then you are not really trying to fix anything because clearly 'your way' has not worked.
You think that you can fix it but you are destroying our relationship. I hate myself, I hate you for making me hate myself, I am bored by you and our shitty sex life, I hate the way you look at me quite blankly & without passion because it's all wasted on your borderline double life. You make me sick. Today is the last time I try to improve this situation, if it doesn't work I am moving on pronto! Because fuck you that's why. Enough! You desperate weird creep.
When I was at my friends house, He took awhile in the bathroom and he told me to just masturbate as a joke. But I did \(*-*)/
I have no excitement in my life. I think that's why i miss you so much. I hate that i think of you every day. i just want to move on. We spoke for about 8 months, but ive been carrying these memories for years now. Why the fuck can't i get over you? I have so much to be grateful for and yet I'm still wanting you. Ive made and continue to make horrible decisions because I want you. Youre not even that great. We have some things in common, but there are other things that really make me hate you. You like my kind of music, but youre a gross feminist. You like video games, but youre an indie fag. You like traveling, but youre so fucking rude and narcissistic sometimes. You have a great body, but have a butterface. You went after me when I had a bf then wanted nothing to do with me when I was single and you got a gf. You expect me to be there for you every time you message me, but don't give me the same courtesy. You show up in my DMs after you ignore me for months just because you want attention & because you have no gf. You say you want to be friends then a week later you delete me from your life again. Im just so fucking sick and tired.
I wish I never even met you.
I don't hold any harsh feelings over the numerous things you happened to do. I'll never be apart of your life. You can bring me all the sob story bullshit you want, but in the end you've only ever cared about yourself. You can jump from person to person, and hope they care like I did, but you'll never find that again. You lost it, and I feel fine without you. You're a terrible person, and I hope you realize that sooner than later. Now I just wish that I could forget about you all together because I never want to grow close to anyone ever again. If you think this is about you; you're right.
>>17329363
Like many here, I'm in love with this girl who pretty much detest everyone.
It fucking sucks ass, and on top of that, she might be dating my friend. Yet, she isn't happy with him either.
I'm fucking confused.
Also, I can't feel my penis. Not even kidding.
I want to die. I'm open about it to my friends. They keep trying to talk to me but fuck it man this life isn't worth living. People let you down, society fucks you up, I'm forever alone.
>>17332614
>I can't feel my penis
Well, shit.
>>17332587
I get that you're venting, but one thing you need to acknowledge is that you can never say "never" for someone else. You can only be certain about yourself. They may very well find it again, be that before or after they change. Part of your mentality lines up with mine, but even if you say you never want to grow close to someone again, you probably will at some point in the future. You don't actually need to completely forget them, you just need to seek contentment. You can have memories of them and not be bothered by them if you can just focus on yourself.
I'm alive.
I prefer not to be around people because I can't take a joke or joke around with myself
Why the fuck can't I find love? Why am I comfortable being numb?
Lately, occasionally, my penis will feel like it's vibrating. It comes in pulses that hold for ~2+ seconds, stop for 3 or 4, begin again. It's mainly the glans that this sensation emanates from, but also somewhat foreskin and shaft skin. Happens almost randomly, but can reliably be triggered by orgasm.
I just don't understand.
I'm in a foreign country right now that's currently being assaulted by a typhoon. It hasn't been long since I lost my ex and my best friend. I have no real friends right now to talk to and it's been difficult trying to get the past out of my mind as I'm cooped up in a small room by myself for the next couple of days. I try to talk to people online but it ultimately all feels empty just like I'm feeling right now.
>>17332737
Fuck this is obnoxious. Maybe my screwed up lower back / neck / sciatic nerve is causing problems.
Whenever I hear my father do anything, it ruins any happiness I have. I can't relax because I know he'll randomly wake up and start losing his shit. He's threatening to send my dog to the pound because it started growling when he threw water on it. He starts yelling whenever my mom comes near for no reason, and projects his insecurity and fear of doing drugs onto her even when he's high for hours a day.
I hope he dies in his sleep.
I used to have a friend online who I really liked and I fucked up so badly that he told me that he no longer wanted to speak to me. He liked me back too and I'd known that for a long time. That was a year ago and I still really like him. Probably love him even. I'm still angry at myself and get upset sometimes
I hate being lonely. I just want him to speak to me again or force myself to get over it.
>>17332790
I'm on that guy's situation, sort of. Well, she doesn't really give too much of a fuck about me, but whatever. The point is that, even though I ignore her shallow attempts to get in touch with me, I would still read and consider a heartfelt letter if she ever bothered to write me.
Good luck
>>17332771
Does he have some sort of chronic pain?
>>17332802
I don't know, he does have back pain, but I can't tell how much he's exaggerating it since the incident was in the 90s and he's had surgery and a lot of medication since. Even if so, he's shown so little empathy for anyone else that I don't care about it.
>>17329437
Why did you tell me I make everything worse then?
>>17329363
Fuck it, I'll drop some happiness on ya'll.
Just found out today that I'll be receiving a fraternity scholarship for the University of Illinois, which I'll be attending in the fall. This scholarship (which automatically gets me into the frat), combined with the outside scholarships from my high school, combined with the financial aid I'll already be receiving, means I get to attend one of the best engineering universities in the country for less than 5k a year.
I honestly thought I bombed the interview for the scholarship, but I guess they saw something in me I didn't quite notice.
The frat I'll be joining is exclusively for STEM majors, and they have all kinds of social activities planned throughout the year. I really can't put into words how ecstatic I am to know that I get to surround myself with some of the best and brightest men on campus. Knowing I'll always have full house of cool dudes to be there for me when I need them is a genuinely comforting thought, and I'm already feeling much better about college.
Sorry for rambling, but I don't really have anyone I can share the news with now. Thanks for reading if you made it this far, I appreciate it.
P.S. I was lazy fuck in highschool (number 10 in class, but no cords at graduation or any kind of community service) and I'm going to a better university then anyone else in my class. Being a good person and a persuasive writer win out over GPA and a pretty resume every time.
Knock on wood that I don't fuck this up.
>>17332817
Well, on one hand chronic pain does things to you. On the other, I have trigeminal neuralgia, and while I've done some things I regret I've generally managed to not be a burdensome selfish prick.
Just bear in mind, if he does have real majorly limiting chronic pain and is on some fucked up medication for it, he's living in a world you can't understand. Life will move on. He might not have empathy, but make sure you do before you move on with it.
>>17332751
I gotta get to bed soon, but for what it's worth I'm here for you.
If the typhoon is bad, maybe get involved in some aid/cleanup activity. You'll socialize, meet new people, and your help will definitely be appreciated.
>>17331942
I was wearing your favourite color on me that night..
>Home situation rapidly deteriorated after drug addict sister left to LA. Mom and Dad divorced but were busy fighting every day and night since they couldn't sell the house and they both were in terrible economic situations
>(Mom can't write English and Dad is a failing 'Freelance CFO' who is near bankruptcy because most of his clients are also going bankrupt thanks to the Oil Crash).
>Stuck being a failure at life and flunking high school, then first year of Community College.
>Mom decides to move in with her Fiancee. Decide to follow along because me and my Dad never really got along and I wouldn't like to be anywhere near him.
>At first everything seems good. Get settled in, working towards my drivers licence finally. Might get a job. Maybe I can finally get back on my feet and possibly move out in a year.
>Then Mom and Fiance start fighting all day, every day. Get woken up in the middle of the night by them screaming and yelling constantly.
>All the DMVs in my state are some how backed up all the way to fucking September for Road Tests. I have to wait 1 1/2 months at the earliest to even attempt to get my licence.
>Car also broke down again. Dad already put in a 3k transmission even though the piece of shit was worth less than 1k and the Transmission, tires, brakes, and steering all are fucked and need to be replaced. So I either have to get the money to fix it, or buy an entirely new car.
>Due to not being able to drive, my job fell through. House is in the middle of bumblefuck nowhere so I can't even bike to a job.
>College suspended me because of low GPA. Entirely my fault because I piled on too many classes and even when I knew I wouldn't pass the class I didn't drop them because my Dad told me I always quit things too early and I wanted to spite him.
>Literally worse off than before because my old house had a Walmart that was a 2 minute bike I could've worked at.
Just the fact knowing my life is somehow objectively worst is enough to drive me insane.
>>17332800
Would you think it is creepy or strange to recieve a letter like that from a girl you haven't spoken to in a year? I'm concerned that if I were to write a letter no matter which way I put my thoughts down they'd still come out sounding creepy or weirdo
>>17332860
Nope, you lost me. I hope your situation works out, though
Hey, so I've had an amazing girlfriend of 7 months so far. But I've known her for 3 years. I'm sure I love her. Shes all I think about, all day, everyday. And I want to so desperately tell her that I do love her. But I've been told that I'm too young to feel love, and that since she's my first kiss, first girlfriend, first anything, that it could just be lust I'm feeling. Its tearing me apart how badly I want to tell her how much I care and how much I really do love her. But I also don't want to force her to feel the same, or to scare her off. Please help me advice guys.
>>17332866
Hey I was in pretty much same situation but it was with my best friend. If I could do it over again I would have apologized but you shouldn't wait too long
It sucks that I had to cut you off and be cold towards you but your actions lead up to it so you need to learn your lesson. I hope everyone see's your true colors like I have. I hate you so fucking much and I wish I never moved here and started hanging out with you.
>>17332866
>dubs answering my dubs
For her, I would read a letter if she wrote it 10 years from now. I might not respond, but it would bring it all back again, I'm sure.
>>17332857
Thanks anon. I doubt it will get bad at all. It's just the idea of being cooped up alone with my thoughts just gets to me though.
Remember when I said to you I thought of you all day everyday? That still applies to this day. Every time I see something I think oh I can't wait to tell her but now I can't. I think of all the places I wanted to show you and regret not doing it. I replay that night over and over in my mind and know how wrong I was to speak to you like that I don't blame you for ignoring me when I think of all the heartless things I've said. You just got so perfectly into my life my friends loved you my parents and brother loved you. We wanted all the same things in life and I know I'll never ever find that with anyone else. I wish I'd told you all the things I'd loved about you instead of all the things I disliked which most were just me being an ass. Night time is always so hard for me laying in bed wondering if you're asleep wondering if you're thinking of me too. I can't even count how many times I've typed out a message and not sent it I just don't know what your reaction will be. God I wish you could see this.
>>17332861
Maybe the military might be for you? I know it's kind of an extreme suggestion, but it seems like you don't have a whole lot holding you back.
It'd straighten you out and get your mind focussed on other things, and odds are you'll find someone who has probably had it worse than you.
Give it some thought. I always thought the Navy would be neat, but the regular army still has plenty to offer.
>>17332891
Just do your best to pass the time and get distracted. If all else fails, sleep it off and remember that the storm will be over soon enough.
Hopefully you can finish your business in whatever country you're in and head home afterwards. I personally don't have the luxury of having a family to come home to, but being someplace where the air smells familiar is always nice.
>>17332892
Initials?
>>17331604
He's around. He posts every once in a while, usually with the same 2 or 3 pics.
It's kind of funny how we remember and check up on each other.
For some of us, this is the closest thing we've got to a circle of friends.
>>17331836
Same here man. How do we find more fucks to give?
>>17332866
Honestly, guys don't really interpret anything from girls as creepy and weird unless it's straight-up psychopathic.
It's mostly other girls you have to be worried about on that end.
>>17332890
Thanks, anon. I will try to write a thoughtful letter to him. As hard as it is, if he doesn't respond I have to accept that he won't talk to me again. Who knows? Maybe he will respond. At the very least I hope it makes him think about me.
>>17332947
And I'll keep waiting for a letter that will never come. Best of luck to you with your lad.
>>17332879
Though I can't offer much advice, I will say that this is my biggest fear about going into college and getting my first real gf.
I'm afraid I'll find someone who is almost too good for me, and I'll be at risk of losing it all if I tell them just how fucking much it means to me to have someone there who cares for me.
Again, sorry for the lack of advice, but if it's any consolation just know that you're not the only one with feelings like that.
I finally went and explored some smaller chans, and though it was fun at first, I came away pretty disheartened. There's such a common sense of wanting to relive the past and a theme of meta discussion overshadowing anything else that it killed the mood for me. For some reason I look on smaller boards like they're this perfect haven of discussion and thought, but I just ended up feeling shitty afterwards, and I think I'll stay here.
>>17332980
It's all shit now. The generation that made 4chan great are all married with kids and careers now (or eternal neets that have given up). The 18-24 year olds that have overtaken the chans are shit tier in comparison.
>>17333022
I kind of agree, but I'm 18 and I do make efforts to improve discussion and prevent shitflinging. It's more the fact that one rotten apple ruins the bunch, and on anonymous sites it is very hard to develop a good atmosphere and very, very easy to destroy one.
Still, this site can be good sometimes. Endlessly trying to generate a comfy atmosphere and failing is too depressing, I'll just take all I can get here.
DD,
I forgive you for what you did... Not because I accept your actions and the pain they caused me, but because you are no longer worth the mental anguish that I've been putting myself through.
You are no longer worth my time, nor a passing thought.
Have fun living in poverty.
Z
My ex left me for another guy about 3 years ago. I'm still not over it fully. I've had many girlfriends but she just won't get out of my head. I'm starting to feel crazy.
I can't help but feel there's nothing after death but I don't want to be alive any more. I have no hope left that anything I do helps anyone anymore, or even worse, people have just been using me.
The only reason I haven't shot myself if the thought of my wife having to find my body. Instead I fall asleep thinking of ways to go that nobody would think to try and find me.
on the surface my life is pretty good but i am dying inside
i am a good student at my college and will get a nice job when i graduate but i am just alone and it is suffocating
when i have issues with anything i've got nobody to turn to. the few that i am close to have their own issues and i do not want them to be burdened with my problems. i can't even get help for my educational needs. i have issues with one subject and all i can do is just grind it until something happens.
i am surviving with work and indulging in escapism when i am not working.
the thing i want the most in the world is somebody to genuinely care about me, and want to see me improve. but i suck at maintaining contact. and this is something money can't buy. i will be sitting in my apartment surrounded by all the shiny things i ever wanted and i will still be alone. i am hoping for somebody to reach out to me but in this world this will not happen. the greatest blessing and the greatest curse is that nobody cares about you.
>>17332579
Initials?
>>17333064
Dude you're married? And you went to college. People would literally kill to have that. Maybe one of them could just kill you and take you're life since you have no regard for it. #giveabumalife
I get these panic attacks and start to cry like a bitch under the table.
Stop procrastinating, you lazy piece of shit.
>>17332579
you've got to hold yourself to it. it's one thing to say it, its entirely another to follow through and you need to prepare yourself for that reality so that when the moment comes you don't freeze.
just saying, been there, done that, burned everything to the ground multiple times, people are always stunned with how quick I handle shit once they reach my limits. it's gotta be a clean, hard cut. none of this talk shit out manipulation when that hasn't worked, none of this no please dont leave stuff. if you're doing it, you have to be cold to all of that. it's best for both parties in that situation.
>>17332587
>>17332630
this. I always laugh when people who hate me talk in absolute negatives about how my life is going to go like they have a say in it. tends to portend for whom things will go negatively. it's an attitude thing.
also, why do you still care? serious. you want a straight psych eval on this? those negative absolutes you speak in are an attempt to regain control because they still have control over you even though things are over. stop fucking caring mate. move on.
You complain that I say sorry too much. Well, to be honest, I picked up this habit because of you.
>>17333117
Later
>>17333135
Sorry
>>17331708
Yea it's C. Don't worry, be happy.
I have a really good life and I'm overthinking it to hell.
It was never like this when I was younger, but totally normal parts of life overwhelm me sometimes. It pisses me off a little. Why do I have to be so weak?
I know the answer, of course. Sustained effort over time is the only real way to improve. It just feels like I'm pretending things are getting better because the truth is too hard to face. I think if I could stop second-guessing I'd be just fine.
>>17333335
If its really you? I just will say one thing.
If i could be with you I would no doubt be the happiest person alive.
>>17333368
Initials?
The first girl ever who was forward and honest enough with her feelings that she asked me out on a date the same day we met and she even paid for everything. The only girl I felt truly comfortable around, banter out the ass, having deep conversations about philosophy and nature while talking about shit like balloon fetishists and flirting. The only girl who took initiative with physical shit. The only girl who ever told me she's really like to see me again and get to know me better.
And she's gone because she couldn't get past the fact that the feeling didn't last. That she wasn't CRAVING me like one would when there's genuine long-term attraction.
And here I am faced with a shitload of girls who don't even come close to being that good, in mind, personality, body or lack of drama.
I'm already 30. I don't want to live a life that doesn't have people like that, but I'm too much of a coward to go through with it, probably. And a part of me wants to show her this breakdown, out of me feeling like a scared little boy but that would be the ultimate pussy-dryer, someone this broken. And she doesn't even know any of it, because I hide it so well and because she made me so happy when I was with her, happiest I've been, even if it was extremely short.
I'd sell my soul to have her text me wanting to meet up because she was wrong and now she misses me greatly and wants to make it work. Swear to god.
>>17331944
>>17331960
Whenever I contemplate suicide I go over the different ways in which I would do it like shooting myself with my rifle, driving into a tree etc. when I get to that point I think that that's the east way out why not go out with a bang and go to syria and join the fight againt IS then I realise I'd get flagged at the airport cause Australia don't like their citizens fighting overseas and then I just forget about the whole thing and repeat next time
Last night before I went to bed something happened and I didn't think about you anymore. I no longer felt paralyzed and I was happy and I felt like I was finally able to move on with my life and focus on something else. Then I woke up this morning and I've been thinking about you ever since. This is going to take a while.
I've been having desires for skinshipping lately. The kind where I want my neck grazed by a woman's teeth without breaking the skin but a nibbling tug is fine.
The kind that requires roleplay of fucking a zombie girl that still has needs and tries to fight her primal hunger to NOT bite my dick off.
I have problems.
Lost my father in law yesterday due to a heart attack, my husband is numb and deep in thought most of the time. I feel like i should be doing more than i am but we are both sitting here staring at our phones waiting for news from states away.
i wish i didnt do it
Broke, misunderstood, isolated.....cant find a job... even the people who spy on me make irrational conclusions about what im doing. all is not what it seems. please leave me alone
I got tired of my old profile so i made a new one. Nothing malicious intended. I only use it now for the news, art, to message, and to get job info. The less people on it the less drama you have. That includes family and my friends. half those people, could give a rats ass about me anyway, and i know that now. They have their own lives and problems to worry about. Just because you're not friends on social media doesn't mean you cant be friends in rl....
>>17333491
No
I am terrified by vulnerability. I have always been.
I don't cry, I don't ask for help, I don't admit I feel hurt, I don't tell people I love them, I don't accept criticism, I laugh at everything and everyone, I constantly pretend I don't care.
I met someone who makes me feel weak, someone able to read through all my bullshit and just see the little, fragile piece of shit I truly am.
I like it. I am scared. I feel alive for the first time in years.
>>17333811
If people are making irrational conclusions it's because you're not communicating. It's pretty amazing what a few words can do.
Everythings gotten complicated. People who sit behind a screen for a few months and feel like they know your lifes story. If they actually talked about in rl it would've been resolved months ago. It's so much easier to insult and degrade another person for their enjoyment. You might have a little insight of daily habits and routines but there are two sides to every story. After awhile you become emotionally numb from dealing with constant bullshit from others. You still care, you still love but you dont show it because youre not given the opportunity to let them know.
>>17333798
It's not too late to redeem yourself.
Complications occur when people assume. When someone sits behind a screen and assume they know everything. You might have a little insight when it comes to certainroutines and behaviors, but there are two sides to every story. Eventually you become emotionally numb from dealing with other people shit so long you figure whats the damn point? Even if i were to change,i would still get shit on. I still care, i still love and appreciate the people aroundme for who they are. A couple of rough months does not define a persons whole persona. The same way i dont say anything, the dont say anything in rl about it. I naturally give people their space out of respect, and if they are not willing to fix the issue what can i do about i? Its so much easier to degrade and humilate from a distance. Its became easier to just stay away from everyone period. I'm trying to work on my issues but this doesn't exactly help anything either. Same way you want me to call you, you could call me as well.
Sorry. You were the one person I couldn't hide from. Which is odd. But I will try harder. Because now you are hiding from me, too. Maybe I should go completely. It's like trying to leave the water still, but I want to touch it. I'm just going to live in the forest away from the water. I hate water anyway. This is the last. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I wish she'd let me help her out with her anxiety. I always open up to her so when she doesn't open up to me I feel as if I owe her something. I also wish she didn't have a girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure my boyfriend has lost interest in me and is planning to dump me when he loses a little more weight and starts getting his life on track.
I confronted him about his obvious lack of interest in my life and about him potentially cheating, and he denies or comes up with excuses for everything. He "celebrates" when I leave. By that, I mean he gets REALLY happy, he grins when he kisses me goodbye.
Honestly, it's the worst feeling in the world. The end is inevitable and I don't think there's anything I can do about it. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone, but this just fucking sucks. I'm not sure that there's anything I can do to stop it. I tried to break up with him a couple weeks ago, because I was sick of all of his bullshit, but he somehow managed to reel me back in and say all the right things. Probably because he's a manipulative asshole.
I'm so helplessly in love with him that it's unreal. I feel like if or when things do end between us, my world's going to fall apart. I feel trapped.
>>17334025
Don't be sorry. We couldn't help it.
>>17334048
You honestly sound paranoid.
What makes you so sure about it?
You say you've gone into hiding, and I do believe you need space, but at the same time I feel like I should be bugging you to come back to show you how appreciated you are.
We don't chat anymore and it's really out of character. Am I supposed to be reaching out to you right now or leaving you alone?
>Just graduated school, now taking a year off to get my shit together before continuing my education
>Met a great guy I have a ton in common with and I think something might happen between us maybe
>Picking up old hobbies again
>Working out 2-3 times a week, might start running too
>About to start taking my driver's license
>Enrolled in a maths course I need
>Doing a lot of reading and learning, trying to use CodeAcademy and Duolingo daily
>Quit my terrible job
>New job interview tomorrow
Things are really looking up and I'm so excited.
>be me
>shaving
>last razor goes dull
>now have neckbeard
>wanted to get something to eat
>now have to go to the store with a terrible shave to pick up more razors
>still hungry
>>17334247
lol wtf. Man up and finish the job friend. Clean it out with a toothpick or a tooth from a comb.
>>17334192
He doesn't really seem to show an interest in my life, in the little things. When I'm going through things, or I make sacrifices for him, he doesn't really seem to care.
"I care, I just don't show it."
Sometimes getting him to talk to me is like pulling teeth. We used to talk all the time, but now he comes up with excuses as to why he can't talk.
When I see him nowadays, he'll come up with little "distractions", like he'll go wash the dishes or some shit, or other things he has plenty of time to do when I'm not around, which is pretty worrying since we're already kind of long-distance.
He's gotten a little bit better about talking to me since I tried to break up with him, but I was talking on the phone last night with him. He mentioned something about the distance and not being able to see me or something, I can't remember what it was. Then he said something offhanded and under his breath, like, "Something I'll be saying a bit more often.". That seriously worried me, so I prodded him about it a little bit, he said something about how text messages didn't really cut it for him in terms of communication.
And like I said, he gets unbelievably happy when I leave, or when I'm about to leave. He seems happy when he first sees me or when I first arrive, but he always seems WAY happier when he's about to drop me off or I'm about to head out. Like he's excited to let me go.
I don't think I'm that needy. I don't blow up his phone with 4 or 5 texts in a row demanding to be paid attention to. Is it wrong to expect to talk every day when in a long distance relationship?
Holy shit I miss you and you were never even mine.
>>17334278
You're being insane.
Stop reading things into his behaviours. Stop being so emotional about complete bullshit.
It is perfectly normal to stop talking all the time after a while. You have less things to talk about. No one really gives a shit about the insignificant details about someone else's life. They are insignificant. You do it at the beginning because you're hyped, after a while it goes away.
It is perfectly normal to get more relaxed around each other and do things when you two are together.
You're out of the honeymoon phase. Welcome to the real relationship.
You probably are imagining the happiness thing. But if you're such a drama queen in person, like you seem right now, I'd be happy when you leave too.
Instead of pestering him with your worries about the relationship and insisting that he must feel bad with you, work on the relationship, go out, do more things together, have fun.
Why would you ruin this for me? I know I used to be so negative, I'm sorry I didn't date you, I'm sorry if I made you feel sad. I'm trying to be a better person, I'm trying to change my life for the better. I didn't mean to be the most negative force in your life, I just trusted you enough to vent to you. I'm so sorry. But now I'm trying hard to change my life, you haven't talked to me in months even though I tried reaching out to you. I met someone new and that made me happy, I tried making a positive difference and it was great having someone who respected and believed in me, why would you step in to ruin that? If I was such a negative force, why are you shoving me down for trying to do better? Are you really that jealous that'd you'd ruin my life?
You know I used to be suicidal, but for a while I felt better about myself and I loved the world, why would you try taking that away from me?
People are actually doing this to me on purpose. I make peace with that. I know my intentions, what I've done and what I havent done. I know the truth. If you can't say it in RL please leave me alone. I could've explained and apologized in five minutes. This whole situation is madness. To all my friends I'm sorry I was a drama queen but now I'm on meds and I feel great despite emotionally flat lining. You guys win you're the best. I'm the worthless loser half passed artist piece of shit employee you want me to be. Team autism, might have it. Might not who knows what's wrong with me. Oh that's right I do, I have papers for depression and a slew of other symptoms woohoo
Jebi se Majo, i dalje te volim
How cute..
Stop trying for reactions you should know you're not going to get. I can promise you, you'll never see those reactions again. You'll end up very bored if you persist.
>>17334461
Initials?
>>17334480
Unnecessary. If you believe someone you know would say this, simply don't go out of your way to seek reactions from them.
>>17334487
That is a reaction in itself
>>17334244
Nice anon!
I really couldn't care less. there was a puzzle, I found a solution, I learned some things. the end.
>>17334244
I genuinely am so proud of you
Hey guys, I'm back from a psychotherapist after i posted >>17333425
He gave me Nodiril (Risperidone) and Aritavi (Duloxetine). Former is anti-psychotic, latter is serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor. What the fuck am I in for? Both of these have a big list of common side-effects.
>>17334528
It's a response to an anonymous poster on an anonymous imageboard because they asked a question.
>you should know you're not going to get
Common decency to answer a question is something you're actually meant to expect from a simple stranger.
>>17334555
Well if the boot fits
>>17334568
Well, yes. Because you're responding to someone anonymously right now and you're not really much different to the average /b/ poster at this moment if you assume the original post means "no one will ever get a response from me again". Do read >>17334461 again. It isn't the same as "strangers will never get a reaction from me" you see?
I'm so lonely. I desperately crave to be loved but I never have and I don't think I ever will. I feel so disgusting and worthless. Though even if I did manage to get in a relationship I would ruin it by being desperate and needy. I have hobbies but they can't distract me 24/7. When I'm walking to the store or trying to fall asleep or doing anything really I just can't help but fantasize about how much better it would be to do that activity with a lover. I want affection so badly. To be hugged tight or cuddle with someone sounds so nice.
I really want to learn to be happy on my own but I have no idea how. I just can't envision being truly happy without someone there with me.
My friends keep telling me my boyfriend just wants to fuck me and isn't interested in me.
I need a reality check. Or better friends.
>>17334558
Sorry, it's not the one.
