Last thread: >>17283621
L,
Hope you had a good day, but I still dislike your behavior towards me these past few months.
K
>>17297684
>>17297646
Dear Mom,
I like femdom fetish porn and love the idea of a furry fox tailplug in my boypussy
M.
Ok. I just want this to be over. I just want closure, so we can either be normal friend or more. I hate this limbo.
That is all. Maybe I'll write again soon. Who Knows.
D
D,
I hope you are serious about wanting to go on this trip. I really would like you to come and have fun. If you back down, I am leaving without you.
M,
You are an amazing guy. I really like you a ton but i still have strong feelings for D and we are working on rebuilding our relationship. I don't want to hurt you. I care about you but D is still first.
Laura,
Fuck you. Yiu are the reason everyone quits. How does it feel to run an empty office? Everyone else's fault right? WRONG. I told you I was taking the summer off and you don't have a choice. Fire me if you want. I dont care. You need me more than I need work and even you know that. Keep up these emails and empty threats and ill quit and so would half of the division.
Fuck you, piss off, you are a fucking cunt.
>>17297733
this explains why i dislike trip fags.
anyway -
Dear N,
Why can't you mind your own business, i have always left you alone and gone about mine why cannot you ?
Yours sincerely,
N
>>17297777
Nice quads
At least I don't write stupid letters like you fags
PLEASE N PLS LEABE ME ALONE DELETE THISSSS
>>17297783
You're a very lonely pathetic mankid
>>17297777
Funnily enough, some time ago I could have written this same letter with the initials the same, as well. Obviously I did not, because it doesn't apply anymore, but back then it seemed to be the same situation.
Neither of us have any means to actually get in each other's way right now. Just funny to notice that I probably could have written that same letter half a year ago.
>>17297790
I know you are but what am I?
D,
As you can probably tell, I fight a lot of battles in my head.
This campaign is over, and now I'm surveying the maps trying to figure out where everything stands.
Thing is, I can't seem to figure out what exactly happened, or even who (or what) won.
The problem is that I don't have any feedback from your end.
I don't know what you think or feel about any of this.
I wish I could just ask you, but I know you're busy (too busy for this shit, at least).
And you don't like meta-ish uncomfortable psychological conversations anyway.
Maybe some other time, eh?
M.
>>17297754
>>17297758
M and D are pretty damn popular letters.
>>17297801
A faggot who argues with strangers and collects gay car models for kids
>>17297810
>M and D are pretty damn popular letters.
Yep. That is so true. Gets annoying when I see letters to D. My mind starts to run like mad, trying to figure if any one I knew may have written it
>>17297817
I don't even like cars
>>17297797
bert i am still watching you N : 3
>>17297824
I'm sure the two of us have crossed paths without me realizing it, but he and I have no means of really interfering with the other. Especially not right now.
He has his business and friends, I've got my own creases I'm almost done ironing out. We haven't actually spoken to each other at all in 2016, either.
It was just an entertaining coincidence to see a letter like that.
T
I'm finally coming to terms with how unrealistically I approached things in thinking I could sustain a long-term relationship with you. I wasn't emotionally mature enough for that. It wasn't your responsibility to give me guarantees of the future because I was too scared to set goals and work towards completing them like an adult.
I'm sorry for all of the venomous, cruel things I said to you. You truly loved me, and you tried. I wasn't ready. You were right to want to deal with things on a day to day basis. I was a difficult person to love.
Would rather come to terms with that and hold myself accountable for the way I was than be in a relationship that made you unhappy and not be aware of just how much pressure I put on you.
Glad you got a start in your career by helping people. Whenever you laid your head on shoulder that one night in that little one room apartment, it felt like being kissed by the sun. Can't even imagine the good you can do for other people when you really put yourself to it. You never had to try, though. The love and good you bring into peoples' lives is just a part of who you are.
As much as it hurts, being able to appreciate that now instead of being together and never knowing means more than I know how to say.
Thanks for being a part of my life, and letting me be a part of yours.
Well, here’s your box. Nearly everything I have is in it, and it is not full. Pain and excitement are in it, and feeling good or bad and evil thoughts and good thoughts- the pleasure of design and some despair and the indescribable joy of creation.
And on top of these are all the gratitude and love I have for you.
And still the box is not full.
J
Dear B,
It's been almost a year now but I still hate you. I will eternally. You ruined my life and shattered me. You are mentally sick and need help. You need to stop glorifying yourself and blaming others for your problems. Does being abusive and manipulative make you feel better about yourself? Why do you use your past problems as leverage and take advantage of sympathy? Only you, such a sick fuck, could make me feel bad after you hurt me so much even though I didn't do anything wrong. Don't blame me for your depression, don't blame me for your mother's death even though she died before I even knew you, and don't ever rape anyone again. Fuck. You. I hope in a few years you'll be washed up and girls will be smart enough not to fall for your trap. You think you're so talented, but all you do is steal your friend's work and claim it's your own; you aren't even good enough to try and do anything for yourself. You are pathetic and won't go anywhere in life. Stop trying to talk to me.
Love, L
Oh thank fuck, I was concerned that it was momentary so I kept checking back every now and then to see how I'd react. I wanted to see if I'd feel that feeling again or if it really did go. It's gone. It's really gone. I'm actually free of it.
Thanks, bye. No sarcasm, really, thanks for confirming it's gone for me. I was expecting to falter after waking up like I did before. Goodbye.
L,
I'm catching feelings for you and I don't know whether to drop you altogether out of fear of getting hurt or to see what happens. We still have some differences in that I'm not as free-spirited and into the party life and doing drugs as you might be so I don't want you to feel like I'm holding you back if I want it to be more exclusive and calm... It's not right to tell someone how to live. And there's also all of the other amazing aspects of you though. If you have no desire to further this, please cut me off now before I end up repeating what happened with others in the past...
J
>>17297977
Initials?
>>17297995
Yours?
>>17297997
last name starts with a y
>>17297995
My initials don't matter. What matters is that I'm free of all the emotions related to someone. I'm not sure why you'd need my initials for, but good luck in your own situation if you have one, or good day if you do not have any particular concerns
>>17298003
Alrighty, thanks. Ditto.
>>17298012
Nah, like I said, initials aren't necessary at all anymore. Don't worry about it
To E,
There has never existed anything more vicious an organism than the unrequited kiss. Just like we gag in front of a fire, and fall on our backs to evade a blade, we DISSOLVE at the feeling of an unrequited kiss. That is, a kiss that somebody gives to put it all on the line, to put their heart out there, and... well, fail.
So that, E, is why I did not kiss you. I did not know if you wanted me to, so sorry if I missed my chance.
Looking at pictures of you now feels painful. Like the voice of a goddess whom you have not yet confessed your love. degraded to listless tones over the phone. Her voice is not casual, and it feels strange hearing it speak like so. You, Em, are not fucking casual, and seeing you smile in those pictures... goddamn, I don't know how to feel. Fuck, love is not casual and goddamn you to Hell whoever said it ever was!
I'm not angry in the slightest, but fuck you. Fuck you for leaving me here like this. You can't tell me what you mean by 'I love you' but you can tell somebody else, and it just feels like my feelings for you have been degraded into scraps for your gossip machine.
What the actual fuck... should I even do? Forget about you? I know it might be hard to believe since all the guys who have ever known have not given a shit about you, but ME, I love you! How can you justify throwing me to the curb like that, like ten seconds after confessing 'your love' for me?
People told me you were bad news, but I didn't care, because I know people are different once you get to know them. You proved that immediately, once you got drunk. Totally different, beautiful, intelligent, lovely human being I found in you.
I think that may be the issue. Drunk you and, you, are just too distinct for a relationship to span your entire self. I'd love to get drunk with you every weekend and pretend like nothing is wrong with that, but I know we can't do that. I can't facilitate that habit any more, I feel bad enough as it is.
Marilyn eventually
M
I wish you were the chocolate to my vanilla.
J.
To anon who posts links to new GIOYC and Letter threads when the last one hits bump limit:
Thank you very much. I appreciate it. It makes navigation so much easier.
Sincerely,
Anon who always has GIOYC and Letter threads open and reads through them all the time.
pssst... hey V!
You are a very special girl. I know it, you know it, everybody knows it. You always know exactly what to say to make someone feel better. I am very attracted to your mind and soul. The kiss I stole from you was the best kiss I've ever had. You seemed untouched and breakable and I wanted to eat you whole! Oh sweet sweet angelic princess. I hope you change your mind and be with somebody who is closer to you.
I know you will read this.
You know who I am.
Bye
C
I already care so much about you that it's scary. I'm afraid of letting you down so the thought of getting too close is even scarier. We are so similar in that way. I don't want to disappoint you. You deserve the best and I am so far from it. I'm constantly stuck between wanting to get close to people because I hate being alone more than anything, but I'm so afraid of being hurt and letting people down that I end up running away the moment I get remotely close to anyone. That's why I've been alone all these years..it's the hedgehogs dilemma. But even though it may hurt, I will try for you, because I know you're doing the same..and I'm so grateful for that.
T
>>17298015
Good riddance.
E,
I love you so much
I could have been more faithful to you throughout our relationship, and better generally, but I was young and dumb
But here we are almost 3 years in and I love you more now than I ever have
I hope you feel the same.
E
PS Good luck tomorrow
>>17298860
Indeed, it's a great relief
dear L,
i suspect you think i make certain posts even though it wasn't me. like the one i showed you last time. honestly, i did not post that. all the weed would make you even more paranoid. maybe i suspect you post more than you actually do. but some posts stand out to me as beyond mere coincidence.
i told you i'm a straight-forward person so i'll tell you what i'm thinking. i think that you went on some kind of posting rampage yesterday, you know the threads i browse. you could have told me all that directly. you could have told me that you don't want to talk to me anymore. if you posted all that shit, what the fuck?
i'm done with that shitty place. it was shitty but it served its purpose: it was fun. this precarious, paranoid relationship is now done.
i said i would say goodbye when i leave so here it is. i hope you live a good life and that you don't turn out like the lady from the future. i hope you're able to be confident in social situations and not be so embarassed all the time. goodbye.
sincerely,
W.A.
>>17297801
Stop Coming To My House
Caitlin,
I'm sick of you pretending you're there for me and only wanting me around because you need to reaffirm your own self-worth for purely narcissistic reasons. You never let me talk about what happened to me or how I'm still recovering. Or how the doctors were right and I can feel my body slowly shutting down and know I'll again end up in a hospital bed or a mental institution. All you want to talk about is yourself. You're fucking toxic with a dependency complex. It's no wonder why you've cheated on every boyfriend you've had (me included) and have lost all of your friends. You treat me like shit and expect me to just forgive you. Not anymore. You're not worth it.
Dad,
You're a fucking piece of shit. You've destroyed every relationship in this family single-handedly. You won't even apologize to my sister so you can see your fucking granddaughter. All you give a shit about is drinking and riding your fucking motorcycle. You're the one who wanted the divorce and you still act like it's our fault. What kind of cock does that? For once in your fucking life, stand up and act like a fucking man. Take responsibility for your own actions and understand that they do have consequences. I'm done parenting my parents.
Olivia,
I'm sorry it didn't work out between us. I think it could of, but you went off the rails. Who cares if we have different beliefs about certain things, you clearly don't agree with me, but I don't hold that against you. But, with the way you blew up on me, I'm not sure how much I would've been able to handle or for how long. I hope you're doing well and I wish nothing but the best.
Brandee and David,
I'll try to call more often. I'm sorry I haven't been the best brother.
Jillian,
I can't wait to meet you. I've already been deemed the cool uncle. Your parents love you so much, never forget it.
-Dustin.
K,
You're self-absorbed, and you're an alcoholic. The fact you're my sister doesn't lend to me particularly feeling any fondness for you. You may be the oldest of all of us, but C is more mature than you.
How are you going to react when mother tells you about her health? Will it wake you up? Probably not. Maybe you won't wake up until it's too late. Even I, who desires to break off most communication with our family, am not so self-absorbed that I ignore it. Perhaps it's because I'm the youngest, perhaps it's because C and I are just close to her. Or maybe it's because losing C (brother) is fresh, even now.
Our mother is getting old, she may not be 70+ and in an old person's home, but she is getting old. Time is moving on, but you show no concern. Will you wake up soon? I promise, if the day comes where she passes and you, all the way up to it, acted like a little brat despite being in your 30s you will see the worst side of me you possibly could. I already dislike you, don't make me hate my own sister.
But I have enough reason to hate you, just as much as you loathe me. The boy born from a different father ruined everything, right? That is what you told me on New Year's Eve. I'll never forget your words, but don't make me hate you as well. I shouldn't dislike my own family. There are only three of us now. You, C and myself. There were four of us. Funny, we can't even be united huh? C is trapped in the middle of the two of us. And our mother is only getting worse.
-B
>>17299305
anon, i don't know what you're talking about or what you think i've posted. why now, after all this time, wouldn't i want to talk to you?
i hope this isn't goodbye, but if it is then i guess it's better than no goodbye at all.
i respect whatever you decide to do, but you know where to find me if you change your mind and want to talk about it.
lana
It's okay if you need to resent me or be angry at me to move on, I know I failed you. Just move on and be happy.
I'm already carrying it, make no mistake. But I am content in my freefall. Go forth.
Happy anniversary. Let it give you peace that we had this experience at all; I know it does me.
>>17300071
You said you wouldn't give up. Please keep fucking fighting, I'm fucking dying over here.
There is no 'moving on' or being 'happy' for me. I can't get better without you. I can't do anything anymore without you. I need you.
Please just fucking text me..
>>17300071
Why not just up and talk to me directly?
Please come back and sleep in my bed with me tonight. We don't even have to say anything to eachother. I just want you in my life and I don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore.
My life is fucking done..
I won't forgive myself if I fuck up tomorrow for you and us. I really won't. If you don't reach out tonight (because I can't reach out to you) then I'll have to do what I need to do. I'm so sorry and you know it. I have problems. I can't even go on anti-depressants because it'll make me worse. No one wants to help me anymore. I can't even do anything. I can't eat. I didn't eat all yesterday and I feel nothing today of appetite either and I haven't slept.
I have to do it.. I need to stop fucking up and having all this hate.. and having people hate me. No one loves me anymore. I've lost myself.
I'm terrified, guys. I wonder what's on the other side but I hope it's nice and I hope I'm not going to see the person I could have became.
She's just going to find someone else and never contact me again and I can't be here to witness that. I'm done.
>>17300117
Wanna elaborate on your situation a bit more? Why can't you reach out to her?
E
You acted like nothing would come of this, you acted like everything was okay and that we could get through this, but we couldn't, we've lost so many people that there is ZERO way we can recover at this point, I don't know how many more people I have to talk to, but there isn't any way to fix this, we need to jump ship and be done with it, we can find our legs later, but for now if we stay here we're going to go down with the ship, and that's not our duty to do so, I want you to come with me, just me and you, we can leave everyone else behind and find a new place to go, they'll come after us I'm sure but running is better than staying here while everything burns, trust me on this one, I've already spoken to multiple people about it, we will be fine, I know we will, I love you E, I always have, and I know you love me too, I see it in your eyes, the way you're always looking at me, the tone of voice you use, everyone sees it, everyone knows it, we need to just leave and be done with it, D isn't coming back, he's dead, I know it hurts to see that, but it's true, he died long before really dying, we couldn't save him, and we can't save us if we stay here, we've already lost so many people, WE CAN'T RECOVER, PLEASE LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE, YOU HAVE TO LEAVE WITH ME, WE CAN'T FUCKING RECOVER, WE'VE BEEN TRYING FOR MONTHS, THERE IS NO RECOVERING, CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?! EVERYONE IS GONE, ONLY 10 PEOPLE REMAIN, AND WE CAN'T BE THERE WHEN HELL BREAKS LOOSE, please...please just come with me, everything will be okay but I need you to trust me and listen to me, no one is coming back, D is gone, L is gone, A is gone, the important people are gone, we can't stop everything from falling apart with just ourselves, the others can't be trusted, please...please I am begging you from the bottom of my heart to just come with me, I won't let you go down like this, I won't let these people ruin your life
C
>>17300131
No.. to specific.
She doesn't go on here anyway.
She probably won't even know when I've done it. I'm going to do it tonight. I just have to make sure I don't fail like the other times.
I'm sick of being this ugly mental piece of shit.
>>17300145
If she doesn't come here, being specific shouldn't worry you. It might help to talk about it. At least take it from someone who has been in a situation similar to you before, talking about it, especially in a thread like this, is a good relief.
You don't even know why things are as they are and you make no effort to find out or fix.
>>17300150
Relief.. that's not what I want. I get relief.. I get her care and I get the forgiveness but I'll never change... I'm a fucking asshole who deserves to rid of my life because I've been through too much to change and she's so lovely and I just fucked everything up.. holy fuck I really hate myself now.
>>17300169
Self-hatred is a strong feeling, isn't it? It's a painful feeling isn't it? But do you believe the only solution to it is suicide? I thought that, actually I thought it twice. 2014-2015 and the last six months. But the first time, it was self-hatred because of how I felt. The second time, it was self-hatred because of my own actions and being faced with impossibility as a dead end of a road.
The first time, it took a rather stupid action to snap me out of it and shift my view. The second time, it took waking up and truly grasping acceptance. Within this period of time, as in the period of 2015 before December, I hadn't gotten over it entirely, but was also incredibly sensitive to certain circumstances. I selfishly turned my back on someone who was a close friend, a very good person. This person offended me, possibly without meaning to, but it was because it was him that it stung so much. I cut off all contact with him, yet that was wrong of me.
In all of this, over both cases, and the fact I still hate myself now for both times, with the last six months and inaction being the more recent, I merely don't let it swallow me anymore. I refuse to succumb to that negativity now. The last six months have lost their grip on me, because I'm determined to look for brighter days.
Do you truly believe the only way for you to go forward is suicide? Do not take this as me making assumptions, I don't mean to offend you, but I do not believe that is the case.
>>17300204
Yes.. I've been struggling with attempts since I was a very young kid.
I've been to the pscyh ward multiple times, and I'm sure I have felt the limits of my self-hatred at points.
I get it though, but trust me, this isn't the only time I have felt the need to do things like this. I just feel like it's 'about time'..
>>17300215
But you specifically bring attention to her in this case, right? The situation between you and her, but you won't elaborate any further even though she doesn't come here. I just feel that it isn't time. I feel that, instead, if your situation has brought another time you feel the need to do it, you can avoid it being the time to actually commit suicide if you can truly resolve what brought this situation about.
You may call this optimism, but I do not believe your circumstances are impossible by what you've said so far. I certainly don't believe its impossible for you to overcome the desire to kill yourself. If you can overcome that desire, then it isn't time.
I do not believe the solution is suicide. I do acknowledge suicide is an escape, but I do not believe it is the solution.
You mentioned her forgiveness and care. No one does these out of obligation. No one is obliged to forgive or care about someone. It is a choice, it is the desire to do so that leads to it. If she would forgive you, that is because she wants to. If she would care for and about you, that is because she wants to. It will always be her choice.
Does this not show you at least a little of your solution? You fear her never contacting you again. Do you truly believe she would do that? I do not. No, I don't think suicide is your solution at all. Your self-hatred is meant to be overcome. Your self-hatred in this case, is something that is leading you to an action. Don't comply with it, anon.
>>17300251
It is time though.. I've tried so hard to change myself over the years and to find certain things worth living for. I feel so empty all the time. I feel like I negatively impacted her life with all of my negative rambles, self-hatred and inability to be in a healthy relationship..
My life is okay in a lot of ways, like shelter and money.. but relationships, I realistically have none but her.
The only reason I can feel the optimism is because I'm scared. I'm truly scared. Even my religious grandmother hates me and doesn't talk to me anymore, okay? I just feel like I'm going to hell because people think I don't care when I care every single fucking day. And I won't be missed because no one ever knew me because I could never show my worth.
It is her choice more than ever now.. but then why isn't she contacting me? I can't get in touch with her because out of anger I delete every trace.. and I hate it about myself.. I hate a lot about myself, alright? I'm really a gross person. I get angry, and then I feel higher up and better and that I can just 'live on' but I never can. It needs to end. I need to end my own suffering.
If she doesn't contact me by tonight then I know things have really hit the fan and she won't.. because we were supposed to do something tomorrow and if we don't it'll ruin everything and I made her think that she was the one who ruined everything.
I really fucked up, op. Can you please just stay on /adv/ until tonight and before I get it over with.. because atleast it feels like people like you are my friends and in those last moments I'll be fucking terrified and drunk.
>>17300273
You can't set a deadline to contact you, that's the issue. Human emotion doesn't work like that, you can't say she won't contact you tomorrow instead. It's as you said, it's her choice now more than before, and choices also take time.
If I had given into my self-hatred, I wouldn't be writing you now. I'd be dead. I still hate myself, I just refuse to let my self-hatred win out. To hate myself, only to kill myself. Isn't that a funny idea? You hate yourself so much that you kill yourself, but that also means being killed by the person you hate the most. Defeated by the person you loathe. It's not just that you're killing that person, that same person is killing you. But to overcome self-hatred is to not let yourself be defeated. What use is a draw, if you can set your sights on a victory in overcoming the desire to end your own life?
I do not have strong relationships, either. I'm emotionally withdrawn from my own family, I can't relate to any of them anymore, I feel uncomfortable conversing with them because I don't feel I belong. My brother was the only family member I truly felt close to, and he died a few years back. If I go silent for a while, my family forgets about me until they're bound by obligation to inform me of something. That's all it takes for me to drop off the face of this planet, because I'm forgettable.
You care, you care every single day. If they don't care about you, do not show them that. You do not need to kill yourself. I'm certain.
Well, when you decide you wanna tell me that yourself, I'm all ears. I told you, I'm not pissed.
Dear Mr. Trump,
I wholeheartedly believe in you.
Respectfully,
Jacob W_____
>>17300302
Why would she give it time when she knows I'm always an emotional wreck? If she loved me, she would. I'm not trying to guilt trip her here, I'm just honestly saying that I can't fucking reach her and if I could I'd already be on my knees again.
And I'd just want to have a serious talk and see what we can both do to fix it, especially me.
Tomorrow is just a really special day for her, that's all. She wanted to spend it with me and as I did with her but I've been going through a lot of terrible feelings due to quitting benzos and I'm a wreck and all over the place, I don't expect anyone to understand that but myself or sympathy but she knows that..
But I can't keep asking for forgiveness and then being hurtful..
I've been forgotten too, and now it feels like she forgot me as well.
I don't know what else to do, alright? I can barely even look at myself or live with myself. I can't do it. And I'm sorry if your words go to waste today.
Dear T.
Found you an emotional wreck,ready to give up and then you just dropped me for the first new thing to come along. Go fuck yourself, you'll get what you deserve.
M
>>17297646
Dear faggot in my class,
Stop asking for attention by giving us a speech about how hard your life supposedly is. U said u would were gonna talk about how good the speehes were today and although u did, u slowly managed to slip in your problems and the students had no chouce but to just take it. All u did was bring burden after burden about what problems you have in life when no one cares, its almost like you were bragging about how hard your life, and at the end u said you're not askig for pity when you asked your friend to secretly film it to be shared for more pity points. You're honestly the most pathetic human being ive ever seen and i dont think someone with a mind as weak as yours will survive in the real world. Also, why the fuck did u bring 3D glasses today??? Iam so glad that i have 4 days left in this class with and i cant wait see how your ends up with you liberal agenda and pussy ass mentality
Sincerely, Everyone who has this class with you
Dear Trump
I hope you win the election in November, just so the electorate will see the turmoil that they have brought upon the American people.
Further more, I wish that your presidency can create conditions that are ripe for a revolution.
Respectfully
D.
>>17300321
In what way could my words go to waste? Am I not talking to someone who is replying? Already, my words are not wasted simply because two forgotten people are talking.
Emotions aren't straightforward, and this is a world where certainty must be confirmed before you act certain. For example, in this case you can't say you know she has forgotten you. You can't say it, because it is not certain. I do not believe it to be the case, either. I do not believe she stopped caring about you. You can't reach her, but sometimes people just don't want to be reached immediately. I truly don't think your situation lacks a solution, and only when it lacks a solution should you look to suicide. A means of escaping when you are trapped in a box. A box with all walls sealed with impossibility. Yours isn't, I'd even go so far as to say you're not in that box nevermind impossibility.
If she wished to spend tomorrow with you, don't you believe you should see tomorrow and the next few days through?
I commented on certainty and how you can't be so certain. Don't you think a good step for you was admitting that you don't know what else to do? Not because that claims there are no options to go forward. But because when you don't know, it means there's the potential for a solution you haven't seen yet.
I don't believe you should be looking to suicide. I don't believe that is the answer. I also doubt she has forgotten you. Don't succumb more than you already have to this feeling.
I will fuckin kill you you bastard
A
>>17300351
I just wish she would reach out because she knows how terrible I've been doing lately..
I don't want to see the next few days after tomorrow.. because if she doesn't want to spend it with me then I believe she doesn't want me anymore and I've failed.
I feel like shit and I wish she would just text me before it's too late..
>>17300383
But I guess I deserve it because I made her feel terrible too. I watched her walk away and honestly I felt like I should've ran out after her but I didn't..
All I do is cause drama.
I wish I could say sorry one more time before I go.
Sunshine,
I know you don't feel the same, but I just wish you'd acknowledge me. I have this terribly false narrative in my head that tells me I never meant anything to you and I was easy to forget.
I'm sorry. I know it's inappropriate. I miss you. I love you even when you don't love me back. I love you even when you ignore me.
I'm the fool that's still in love with you.
>>17300383
>>17300397
You're too certain, far too certain. Letting self-hatred and doubt steer you too much. This makes me a hypocrite, but I still feel you need to avoid that.
She knows, but she is subject to emotions, just are you are. People can't act immediately at all times, emotions take time. I do not believe she has forgotten you, I do not believe your situation is at a dead end, I do not believe your situation is impossible. I do not believe your future is impossibility. How could I, believing this, think you killing yourself is the correct choice? Of course I can't, you may believe it selfish of someone online to say this, but when your situation does not spell out a giant "IMPOSSIBLE" sign that is when I believe you need to have hope.
You feel like shit, she probably does, too. You acknowledge this. Do you not also see that if she feels like shit, her emotions will be getting to her? No one shuts off their heart just like that. If she feels like shit, that's more reason to give her time. Emotions are strong, are you not experiencing that right now?
You didn't run after her, you probably should have. But your situation is not impossible, so don't beat yourself up over that. Give her time, give yourself time, and work for an actual solution to your issue right now, not an escape. If you want her to text you before it's too late, shouldn't you respect that you would live if she did? You already have proof that suicide isn't necessary.
S.,
You puzzle me. You show no remorse, no weakness, acting like everything is going well for you, but then you say this stuff. Which is it? Is everything truly alright or are you hurting?
You made the wrong assumption and I half hoped you'd try to clear it up. I suppose not though.
Maybe one day we'll run into each other again.
- N.
>>17300400
Sunshine... Aw, hah. That's cute.
There was this girl once upon a time that I liked, and I remember one morning, she texted me as soon as she woke up with the line from a line from Charlie & The Chocolate Factory. "Good morning Starshine, the Earth says hello!"
It's amazing the little things that stick in our heads.
To my small pea,
I'm so so sorry
The moment I found out you existed inside of me my life changed
I had a new purpose and I was so excited to meet you and nurture you and love you
Unfortunately my circumstances didn't allow for me to keep you.. I wish I had a choice in the situation but I didn't
When I took that first abortion pill I had never felt so much pain and conflict
I'm so sorry I couldn't bring you into this world
I love you
A
Ahhh, G. If only you understood why this is happening. Maybe if you asked instead of jumping into conclusions.
>>17297646
Dear A and E
You guys were my best friends in elementary and middle school, but you've been the only ones since. All three of us went to different highschools and it seemed like both of you had already found new friends. High School was rough for me, home life was rough for me, and I was constantly beating myself up mentally. Im sorry I never kept in touch and dropped off the map, I was embarrassed of myself and didn't want to keep lying about my highschool or the "new friends" I made. Only now do I realize how I must have made you guys feel: not going on myspace/facebook, not answering texts. I wish things went differently, I wish I was more open. Even now, the thought of you guys seeing the 23 year old loser I've become, scares me. It was decades ago and you both probably have had bigger and better friendships and experiences since then, but to me those times were the highlight of my life. You've been the only friends I've had since, and I wish you both rich and fulfilling lives.
Your childhood friend, still trapped in his childhood: D.
I wonder if you're up as well.
B
Fuck you and your ongoing bullshits, let me live a day where I don't need to see your bullshits about girls wanting you when you are probably gonna toy them around and ditch them when you don't need them. You probably blocked me because you don't want other girls to get you and you probably told some bullshit lies about me to her when you are the one who is full of craps and shits. Wow a fucking white guy who doesn't even like anime gets cosplaying girl? Please I hope karma gets you for lying and wasting my time.
Gg grow the fuck up, blocking me because I don't give you attention when I shouldn't be since you used me for 'attention'.
Nobody,
It's a little of both, some good days, some bad days. I'm trying. I fall so often but it's not taking me as long to get up again. I'm not happy here, it's making me sick. I apologized but I don't know if you ever received that message.
I regret alienating you. We had somewhat of a conversation going before I fucked it up. I don't regret finally letting some of my feelings out. If I ever see you again, maybe I'll have the guts to be honest... With grace this time.
Forever Yours
Why?
>>17300934
Because I miss you.
>>17300824
I wonder if you would know if they were
>>17300824
Yeah, bro. It's like 7pm.
What, do you think I'm some sort of old lady? Shit.
Dear long curly hair
You really scared me up yesterday, I've been nothing but loyal to you. I dedicated a lot of my soul to carry yours and I know that your grandmas death is painful, but did you really need to break my heart and our lease over this?
I'm listening. I got it and replied, even. Did you not see? If you want to vent, we don't need to do it through this. Just talk to me directly, it's fine. Why aren't you happy? Tell me what you really want. Let's talk about it. Honesty is always welcome.
N.
Hey Ant,
Why you gotta put me on blast like that, man? Let me get to know the girl before you fucking tell her that I think she's cute. I don't need your fucking help getting women. Doing shit like that only embarrasses me and makes me seem like I can't get anybody without help. You think you were helping, but you were actually cockblocking, you fucking faggot.
Also, you've paid me back a quite bit of the money I lent you, but you still owe me $330. Really gonna need you to pay me back the rest or I will stab you. I wasn't playing when I said that.
I didn't see it. I don't know how I would talk to you directly besides the last place we spoke.
Then the last place it is.
You first.
Tell me what comes after N and I will.
Nope.
nothing
A,
I'm sick of your bitchy shtick. We have to work together but you're making that real hard. Yeah, I know you're not serious about it and are only playing around, etc., but give it a goddamn rest.
Also, that new uniform you have to wear makes you look like a boy from faraway. A really cute boy.
>>17301001
>>17301012
>>17301043
>>17301046
Get out of here, X.
Stop being so sad.
>>17297790
He's a worse /adv/ tripfag than A Girl Who Will Break The Rules, and I fucking hated her.
>>17300581
Wasn't that quote from something else before Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?
>>17301086
It's a song by Sarah Brightman
I don't know maybe I just want someone to actually confess their love to me instead of assuming. I feel like I deserve that? Maybe not
Why do I still feel like I'm waiting? Why am I still dissapointed/ unsatisfied with my life? why am I so fucking sad and empty lately
~(・・?))・・・ 〜
Mr. J,
I was curious about certain messages that were left. They were vague, sure, but each time they seemed to apply. At the same time, each time they applied, they were only in a way that someone from a distance could have come up with. Anyone in my immediate vicinity, for example, would have known more accurate details to go with. Am I seeming vague here? That's intentional, it'll let you ponder too, right?
But that one thread, you shouldn't try to get an impact with me through it. Only people who saw me frequently over the last month possibly could, as they saw what that thread hasn't got a clue about. I think it's cute for you to try, but it's unfair to you. In this area, you have an unfair disadvantage simply because you were not near me at any point in that time before I took a break. You know the thing people in the thread saw two times? That isn't the main. It never was. It's even lower than the other, but the thread has never seen it. This is why you're at an unfair disadvantage, you've never seen it either. But indirect and vague comments are cute, so you deserve an equal footing. There is another place, where you can be on a fair footing. Assuming you'd know where that is, of course.
But ultimately, I just think it'd save you the trouble of wasting your time somewhere I do not comment. I just pass through it occasionally. If you know my usual hangouts, then I'd see you more often there.
>>17301086
Who knows.
It's origin is ultimately irrelevant. I can dwell on the meanings behind the words, but only actions can change fate.
I think that the scene from Charlie & The Chocolate Factory pays more homage to who I thought she was as a person.
I don't know, I just thought it was endearing act. What she said didn't matter nearly as much as the concept of her actually thinking about me. Even if it was only once.
>>17301074
Where should I go? How do I stop?
Dear AY,
You fucked me over good. I wish we would've talked more. Sorry I never had the balls to confront you, but you were the same way towards me.
It's just mind boggling how abruptly you ended it. And you depended on me to provoke it, instead of warning me and doing it yourself.
It makes me sad that all of those feelings for me just disappeared for you. Must be because of how easily you can become distracted. Chad stole your heart in thirty minutes?
As long as you're happy. But I simply can't believe that all of your feelings vanished. If only you would've explained it to me.
----I'm definitely not much of a writer. Just scrambling down some long pent up feelings.
Aphrodite,
You're inside me. A part of my mind. I don't know the person you're supposed to be, just that destructive perfection wrecking my brain that is you.
You're not real. I know that I'll never have you in life. You're fantasy. But at least it's not a delusion. I understand the reality. I don't fantasize about you anymore. I just fucking tear myself apart inside everytime I remember. I fucking hate you and everything I've come to fuse to you. Because I can't have you. I can't even speak to you. And now I can't even be so human as to imagine being with you.
I've defeated myself already. There's still a year till my last hope for life is gone, but I doubt I'll even take the opportunity if I'm given it. I know I'll fail, I know I'll have my last happy image torn, I know my life after that will be nothing but a time warped, lonely, painful existence. I wish writing this made a difference. I need to talk to you or the kid I once was will die. If he doesn't die when I DO talk to you.
I want a beautiful movie. And I want to know who I am, to love myself and life again. This mind controlling me now needs to die. I've told myself before that it's a more beautiful thing, this pain and loneliness, something that makes you who you are. But I don't want that to be who I am.
I just want some joy.
-J the joyless
>>17301122
You do deserve that. Stop waiting and do something. Don't just do nothing.
I'm fucking pissed. After all the things I've done for you, the ipod I bought you for your birthday, the books. You still have my beanie. After I skipped half a day of work to be with you, risking my job and almost getting fired. After I put up with everything you did, the bullying. After everything. You want to threaten to breakup with me because I called you out on talking to your ex again? Are you fucking serious? Now you don't want to talk to me for a while and it's all my fault this happened? Fuck this. But wait. I can't leave you. You have a part of me already. You took part of me, a part that I gave to you because you were hurting. I piece of me that was still merely healing from past pain. A piece that I trusted and thought you would take care of and appreciate. And now you've kept it for yourself and I don't know if I can just let you go. I need to be with you. I don't like arguing. I don't like fighting. I liked it better when we would just be happy and laugh and just watch movies. Not this love/hate thing we have going on right now. But now I'm not sure if I can trust you again. I'm not sure if I can trust anyone again. I still love you deeply. And I don't want to end. But I can't trust you anymore. Expecially after you blame me for what happened.
I love you
Are you gone again? I thought I found you, but that would have been too great of a coincidence. One that I very much would have loved to investigate. I hope you sleep well tonight. My number is still the same, in case you ever want to contact me.
P
>>17301134
Where are your usual hangouts?
Dear Future me.
Really wish you would quit falling in love with people who aren't near us. It'd help you and then me.
"How do you develop self-esteem when it's clear you aren't worth jack shit?"
You don't. We are worth what we are worth. 2 pennies, 5 bil. Does not matter, but we are worth something.
Tristan for example. While I'm sure he reciprocates what we feel. I don't want you to ask. It would ruin friendship at best.
>>17301499
I am probably not the person you'd want that answer from. But either way, the regular hangouts are all related to the interests I have, which I make no attempt to hide. They're all really obvious thanks to the images I'm fond of.
>>17300168
Don't be a mental flipper. Tell them.
>>17301304
Why can't you speak with them, anon?
>>17301020
Nobody loves me, nobody cares
>>17301512
J's last initial?
>>17301635
I think he'd know if he read it. I don't think he reads this board, but if he did he'd most definitely know that was for him. It may seem vague, but it's specific enough that it couldn't be for anyone other than him.
I love you. I didn't always, but I always will. You did once, and I know you won't again. I have to live with that for the rest of the time I'm privileged with being conscious.
I can't be your friend. I don't have the self-control to keep that distance. It's ironic that that shortcoming is one of the main reasons why you can't be close to me. That isn't lost on me. Submitting to that fact is a small death of my personality. The little death. Fear of death is what caused the death that I feared. I hope that I pushed you in a positive direction in your life. I doubt I'll ever know if I did or not. We may meet again at some point, and you'll probably be with someone else, because that's what you do. Nothing will stave the pain of knowing that I'm not that person because I failed to be who I could have been. I'm sorry that I put you in a position where you had to hurt me so much. I knew not what I did. I will never escape the wonder of what we could have been. I'm so sorry.
Goodbye. I love you. I didn't always. But I always will.
>>17301670
That's the sort of thing you tell someone, if only to give both of you that closure
>>17301672
I will never get that chance again. I had it, and I failed.
>>17300581
What else do you remember about her?
>>17301236
nice b8 m8
>>17301122
>maybe I just want someone to actually confess their love to me instead of assuming.
Be careful what you wish for.
Only one person's ever done this with me.
And they're the wrong gender.
The typical anon's life seems to obey Murphy's Law.
What can go wrong, will go wrong.
>>17301134
>Mr. J
I read the rest of the letter in Harley's voice.
L,
I've never truly opened up to anyone. But God, I want to share souls with you.
L
A,
I really miss the old times. Remember when we used to share beers and drool around? I miss that.
Ever since you changed it's not been the same.
You know, you helped me in my worst times.
You were there everytime.
Thank you. Sorry for not adapting to your new way of being.
I promised you i wouldn't kill myself, and i'll make that promise stand.
Seeing you smile is enough, i know you're happy.
Maybe someday i can come to your house and share a beer?
Can we watch some Anime and laugh about the stupid clichés?
I hope someday you'll come back, or i'll change.
Thank you for everything you've made for me, sorry for being such a piece of shit and being sad when you gave me everything.
Of course you deserve better.
Still, if you want to share a beer someday, you know the door.
I love you,
R
A,
I know it was not your fault and you did not mean anything bad by it. I am the one who is too proud and cold. It was all my fault and I ultimately let you down as much as I thought you had let down me.
I know we still talk. I know we will always still talk I guess. But it can't be the same. And to see you and know what could have been kills me worse than what I got through. The guy was my goddamn brother, what the hell could I possibly have done?
You'll never understand why you mean what you do to me. And I will never tell you. It must be this way. I am over it, but I am not over you reminding me. The only reason we still meet today is that I wasn't myself yesterday. And tomorrow I'll still not be me, because it's too late.
Love,
D
I know it was an accident, but fuck.
I really miss you, i hope you had stayed at home instead of following me.
Sorry for being so careless.
I visit your tomb every weekend when my boss isn't a bitch.
Do you like the flowers i leave? I know you aren't a flower person, but i feel that your beloved nutella isn't enough.
What else should i give you?
I'll make the effort to buy it.
Will i see you again some day?
It was so nice to hear your voice again.
It had been some time, and I know silence is necessary, but it filled me with joy to have it broken. I shall endeavor not to burden you in your condition, but I cannot wait to hear it again.
I relapsed.
My boss saw me and he fired me.
Sorry, i just can't bear it. Now that you're gone it's worse.
Thank you for everything, and i don't care if you ever made me mad or angry, you always helped me and got me out for a few years.
Sorry for wasting so much money on drugs, i know i could have used it to help you with your chemo.
I'm so fucking sorry.
Seeing you die in the hospital, seeing you exhale your last breath and seeing you whisper something that i never understood...
Since you've been gone, i have nobody. I kept visiting your parents but they said they didn't want to see me anymore.
Jon said i was to 'unstable' to have friendship with.
I can't afford my treatment now, i moved to a really shitty job near the café.
Please, help me. When i'm about to buy more say something, please...
When i'm thinking of buying more please let me hear your voice.
I love you.
Please let me hear your voice again
wish you were in bed next to me right now, just like we used to.
>>17301732
Ah, far too much. "Everything" wouldn't be too grand of an exaggeration.
On the topic of cute though...
Her smile, her laugh, and even just the way she looked at me. She could have these deep and beautiful eyes at times that were just so warm you didn't want to look away. She always insisted on getting a hug every time I saw her, and she wasn't afraid to enjoy what she liked regardless of the opinions of those around her. I remember the first time she had come over to my house, and what does she want to watch? "*GASP!* SPONGEBOB! =D" That's not even an misrepresentation of her response, that's just the type of person she was. Comical responses, obscure phrases, and absolutely LOVED sarcasm.
Breaking into my facebook account? Really, man? Really? I thought you better than that.
You got the wrong idea, if only you'd talk to me about it, we could clear it up.
"uncle anon, why dont you do it?"
Sometimes you just can't make the first move for many different reasons.
>>17300816
get back in touch with them, anon, and explain the situation, (with less edge). You'd be surprised how many things go misunderstood in life and just need to be addressed straightforward.
>>17301996
>Will i see you again some day?
You will, anon. Even though it's not apparent and people laugh at the idea, we continue existing, I know for sure.
Would you please stop toying with my feelings?
>>17300694
right in the feels
>>17303097
i want to hold your hand!!
It's interesting how you can fish me in this ocean of anonymity over and over and still don't recognise me...
>>17303215
let's go innawoods for a walk!
or maybe a picnic!
>>17303236
This looks like the sort of thing you're meant to be telling to your boyfriend or crush. You obviously want to tell him, go tell him.
>>17302181
Did her name start with M?
>>17303241
Mm. As much as I absolutely adore my crush this has to be navigated with finesse.
If he hints or appears to be hinting at doing something I may take the initiative. Or even if he's not. I don't know.
>>17303269
Well, good luck in your situation anyway. At least you know the two of you will no doubt spend time in the other's company.
>>17303269
And how would you know?
Dear P
I've wanted to bang the shit out of you since I was 12.
Even now after all this years I'd drop everything to have you even if we haven't spoken in years. I doubt you even remember.
Just drop your pothead bf and come to me... but who am I kidding, I'd probably not know wtf to do with someone like you, I don't even know who you are one.
With hopes that I'll at least get to know you again, P.
>>17303215
Maybe you're being too subtle.
J,
I will always remember that day in September when you asked me to be your girlfriend. It was in the courtyard during lunch. We had our first kiss there, too.
I'd love another first kiss with you. Name the time and place and I'm there.
Maybe home is not a place but a person.
P
>>17303215
I love knowing/not knowing its you in these threads. When i gaze in your eyes, hold your hand, and be with you I know. We have been through so much together and learned a lot about who we are and were we need to go that it makes these tiny clues all the more invaluable. I love you, please be my nazi.
>>17303642
Sieg Heil, liebe.
>>17301554
at this moment, it's just separation. But when we're in the same place, it's complete panic. I've just psyched myself too much. But I will try. I really hope I will try.
Hey Anons, I know.you wont read this shit, but who cares.
K,
It's been a long 12 months. My attempted suicides in January through to May have been the worst you've ever seen me. You serve much better. Be free. Goodbye.
N
>goodnight sweet anons :')
>>17303236
Sweet!
>>17303537
I'm not writing for him, but he finds me
>>17303642
>I love you
If you knew who I am, you wouldn't love me ;)
>>17303820
>If you knew who I am, you wouldn't love me
I despise that mentality.
How dare you underestimate me.
>>17303828
Because he said that before
>>17303837
Ah.
I can sort of understand that if they were young. I vaguely recall saying something similar to somebody once. well, "Like" and not, "Love" to the same effect though.
In my scenario, I was a young and inexperienced boy. I didn't think I was ready to be the other half of somebody when I had a hard time even accepting myself.
What ever happened with you and this Anon?
Why is it that while the entire world is connected and at our fingertips, that we can find it so difficult to reach another?
>>17303253
It did not.
Her name did not start with M.
.>>17303882
>What ever happened with you and this Anon?
Nothing special, just our paths getting entangled when I don't intend to meet him, he finds me, it's amusing.
>Why is it that while the entire world is connected and at our fingertips, that we can find it so difficult to reach another?
I guess because we believe we own it, that our will must prevail instead of being flexible and work with the natural flow, missing out a perfect opportunity because we are distracted trying to bend the currents.
J,
I wish I would've cut contact with you when I had the chance. I knew something was up with all the major affection and grand statements in the beginning. Haha, what even are we now?
Now I'm in love with you, and I can't help but let you use me because I cant let go and you won't let me leave until you're ready to leave and have sucked every last bit of happiness and empathy out of me. It's my fault for lack of better judgement.
When you tell me things like, "I love you" and "I miss you." and you tell me all these sweet things when we're cuddling together, it hurts so, so much because I know you don't actually mean any of the things you say. There's no way that I'm the first girl that you've been intimate with that you've said "I love you." to. I didn't buy that for a second.
I'm tired of you making excuses not to talk to me or see me. I'm tired of you making excuses for your cheating, or your willingness to.
I hate that you have this hold on me. A part of me knows that whatever we have isn't real, and wants to leave. The other part of me wants to believe everything you say, that what we have IS real. That's why I stay. I want to believe that you love me.
You've poisoned my mind, body, and soul with your bitter lies and your sweet words, and now I'm completely addicted to you. You're poison, and I can't quit you.
-T
>>17303936
Interesting hypothesis
>>17297960
LM?
>>17304013
>Interesting hypothesis
Is it? Just a random musing, in the end it's the threads of fate that links us all
>>17303820
You are a literal piece of shit faggot, unashamedly so too, and its brilliant.
>>17304052
From words to words are we led to more words.
>>17304053
I cannot deny my roots, nor censor my essence and you delight me, anon, thanks
>>17304062
And words creates lines of this chapter we share now, from a never-ending story
>>17304082
Honestly, I'm a little glad no one who knows me reads this board. Not to sound like I dislike you or anything, but your posting style and what you say could lead to a confusion. Even if they should know me better than to make that mistake. Better safe than sorry
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto. Domo. Domo.
>>17304082
I know you inside out, and you me. We are a twisted pair bound by each other.
>>17304091
And I don't know you, as far as we're concerned, we're just strangers sharing this moment. It's the entertaining thought of strange proximity that drives me.
If from my wording was formed an idea of romance involved, my apologies. I go beyond that, detached from this sort of interaction which was aforementioned by another poster.
>>17304123
Maybe you do, maybe you don't.. Perhaps this time you've got me... or you're the bait for the big fish I'm seeking
Dear N
Sometimes i think you may post on 4chan too, you probably don't remember me now.
I hope so. You should completely move on and be happy.
Someday I'll find someone else to obsess over and stop seeing you everywhere i go.
Yahhhh we're going to be old people friends. This pleases me.
>>17304191
What the hell does that even mean?
>>17304281
Remember, anon, it's vacation season. I'm guessing this means they either bought some nearby homes, or they got some friendship necklaces/rings.
Dear Julia,
I am sorry you lost the love of your life in a car accident.
I am so sorry there can only be one love of your life.
The seat is taken, for ever.
I wish I never met you. Because my own free seat is also for you, forever.
"If she doesn't knock it off I'm just gonna tell him."
You should call their bluff. If they were ever gonna tell me anything they would have already done so. Instead they use it as a bargaining chip to get their way.
Hey Michelle,
I think we are making a mistake. A huge mistake. I've don't all I could to prevent it from happening but now all I have to do is try to get over it and stop hoping you will realize it's a mistake.
Dan.
Fuck you you fucking bitch. Do you know how fucking dumb you have to be to push someone as calm as me to this point? All you had to do was keep in touch, and these last 5 years of pain would have been fine. But you operate on some fucking stupid decision-making protocol, and so it's fucked with my mind.
It could have been anyone. Why did it have to be someone as stupid as you?
M,
I don't get it. Meeting you was a miracle that happened especially for me. Nothing never felt more right. So why are you meant for him and not me? What was the point of this miracle?
How am i supposed to love you when I dont know if youre fucking other people?
You act so offended when i say that to you but people are shit. At any time you could be with someone else and i wouldnt even know it. Finding out you did that to me would destroy me completely and i dont think you respect me enough not to.
It doesnt help that we never talk
Please just do me this favor and leave before you do something to hurt me.
A,
In a couple of months when we're back at uni together, I'm going to tell you that I'm in love with you. I don't know if you'll feel the same way, and I know that even if you do it's going to cause a bunch of awkwardness in our friend group, but I don't care. I want to be with you, and if there's even a small chance that you want to be with me, I'm going to take it. I'm tired of living in fear.
I really hope you don't get a boyfriend before then.
C
>>17304281
It means we will be friends when we are old. What don't you get you grumpster?
>>17304148
Initials?
>>17304722
tell him see if i give a shit
lol
one day you will realize that I am a loser, and you will not want to be my pal anymore. I think this conclusion will be soon, as well.
>>17304860
Just see how it plays out in the long run. Have patience. If it is meant to be, it will be so.
>>17298693
How can I be sure it's you?
Sorry I talked shit about the job at the workplace Jen. I didn't mean for you to overhear. I really like working for you, don't take it personally, I'm just upset with myself for failing so much. I lost control of my emotions, I will not let mysself be that pathetic at work again though. I'm gonna do my best to help outand make it a better place for you and others. I will make it better.
I think I knew what I was getting into when we first started hanging out. I mean, I always thought you were cute, I just never thought you could develop an attraction to me. I still think that.
I just didn’t think it would get this bad.
I don’t think I can hang out with you anymore. Not because I can’t control my actions, but because I can’t control my heart. Seeing you with him is killing me. I think you see it in my eyes every time he leans in to kiss you, because I see you’re uncomfortable too.
I’m sorry. I never meant to fall. I was looking for friendship and unearthed something more. I can’t quite tell if you’re aware of my attraction to you, and I’m not sure if I would like you to. My friends all tell me to get it off my chest, but I can’t, because I can’t put strain on a friendship. Maybe that’s an excuse for me being afraid of rejection. I told you that was my biggest fear.
But my God, I’ve never met someone like you. I’ve never met someone who’s made me feel so much; understanding, happiness, sadness, fucking pure bliss. You can sense when I’m down and know exactly how to make me smile. You’re just, amazing. I’ve never met a someone who encapsulates delicacy and strength into such a small being. I feel a connection with you that I never knew was possible. I think of you constantly, which is why I have to move on.
I know you read this board, so please don’t tell him of this letter. I’ll think of something, some sort of excuse, just so he doesn’t begin questioning himself. I just needed you to know.
Thank you for everything. You mean the world and the moon to me. I'm sorry I am not stronger, but this is tearing me apart.
James,
I hope that white trash pussy is worth destroying your marriage for. You have the fucking nerve to turn your back on someone who was been through so many ups and downs with you to fuck someone who would've passed on you and treated you like shit back when you were fat. You let that bitch break you down into doing this shit instead of sending her ass to the curb.
You've turned into an asshole since you came back and you won't have my support when she eventually dumps your ass like a used toy.
>>17304848
Initials of the bitch?
Hey, I miss you a lot. Just hanging out with you was a really good time and I wish both of us could still do that. Unfortunately you kinda cut me off pretty badly and I doubt I'll ever see you again. Even if I tried to contact you, I wouldn't know what to say.
I'm not mad at you for it anymore. I just wish things could have been different. Maybe there were unforeseeable circumstances that had occurred. I don't know if theres any truth to that and I probably never will. I just wish things had played out differently. I wish it wasn't so awkward trying to contact you, that I knew what to say. That I knew you'd even contact me back in the first place. I feel embarrassed for even having tried. I feel alienated. I'm sorry I made you feel that way after it was all over. Eye for an eye bs is just that; bs. Wish I could have understood that earlier on.
>>17305546
Initials? I can relate
>>17300337
Change the initials a bit and I have the same exact letter. I feel for you anon
Dear L,
You were the first person I showed myself to. I've spent my whole life hiding in plain sight and you were the only one to uncover it. I trusted you, thought there was no one more perfect in existence. Even told you about my suicide attempt. You led me on carrying my newly acquired happiness along with us. Only to drop it on the dirt and leave me to die. You left me for one of the people I despise the most and expected me to feel happy about it. You tell me you care about my feelings when you are willing to drop me so easily. You get angry at me and tell me I'm a dick for uncovering all your lies? Fuck you whore. I hope you're happy now, you've added fuel to the fire. My inner monster has never been more stirred up. Fuck you dumb whore. I enjoyed making you cry. I will never trust anyone like I did you from now on.
>>17305546
Why would you feel embarrassed for having tried? You wanted to get into contact with somebody, and you did it. Mission accomplished, A+, gold star to you. You've gotten farther than 80% of the people in this thread already, that's absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.
Things look bleak, yes, but how could they not when you're wallowing in your own self-pity? You can't just sit here and focus on what you've failed at, you'll never get anywhere like that. What you have in front of you is an opportunity to move on, Anon. You can contact them, tell them how you genuinely feel, just tell them that you want to start spending time together again and reconnecting, even if it's over something silly... You're never going to know until you reach out. Until you reach out, the only thing you're going to have on your plate is the mistakes of your past. Move towards success, Anon. You've only ever failed when you decide to give up.
>>17298693
Wait a minute...I?
>>17300581
It's from a kids show..it's a thing I like to send to people to let them know I thought of them when I first wake up.
in a month i'll be legally allowed to be an alcoholic
idk what to do about that
im deeply troubled sweetheart but i dont know if you can see it
oh well
Please love me as much as I love you.
Daddy,
Because of you I am strong. Leaving me starving with my little sisters to fight over a loaf of bread and half a packet of kraft cheese, watching you emotional destroy others, belittling them as of you were better, hearing you walk in the house and scurry away like a mouse to avoid being noticed..You said that you would rather me die than to hug me good night before siting in my face and laughing. Was I really that bad? All we wanted was love.
Mother,
You tried.
Bubba,
We may only be half but that doesn't make what you did to me okay. Did you know I can't have children because of your acts? Did you know that I can't look a man in the eye? I want so desperately to be clean but no matter how hard I scrub or how hot the water or how many times I try to cut it out the filth you left behind is still stuck to my innocent skin..I hear you have 4 kids now. I think I've met one. Beautiful little girl with blonde curls..if I ever hear that you touched her or any of them I will gladly spend the rest of my life in prison for finally putting a bullet in your sick sorry brains.
Bryce,
My first and only stead fast friend..I am so sorry. I didn't mean to leave without a word but I was so afraid. I know now that you were genuine in your actions and would have followed me until the ends of the earth if the Ancients had allowed..I love you forever and always. I still hate yellow cars too.
Allie,
I am so proud of you. I know I was always tough on you and pushed maybe a little to hard at times but you've done so well. Keep your chin up little one.
Makaylah,
How's Christopher? I bet he's walking by now. If you still are having those dreams I wished you would talk to me..I know you will never understand why I did what I did but see you and allie were so much smaller than me..you needed the food more so you could learn properly and look at you now! A mother and a graduate. Just please promise me you will always tuck him in at night.
-V.P
I'm only alive because you want me to be and honestly I'm suffering. I love you, but I just want it to be over. I'm scared of hurting you. You think I'm getting better, I'm sorry. Maybe one day I'll explain, hopefully not in the letter.
C
>>17305872
Where it originates doesn't really matter, you know? It's the fact that you're perpetuating it. That's what's cool.
I like it when people can just love what they love, and they don't care what other people think. They don't censor themselves, they aren't insincere... I think when you try to block these things out, you just become grey as a person. You lose your color.
You're probably like, "What the fuck is this guy even going on about?"
Just, cute shit, man. Innocence. Fun.
Not diplomacy, and obligation. That shit shouldn't consume our free time.
Dear Rin,
I hate you. I have no desire to get to know you. You're an ex girlfriend for a reason. You have no place in D's life. I want nothing more than to kick your face in when I see you at AX, since you've spared no sort of respect for the space of my relationship since you decided to become friends with D again. I want to cause you the month of misery that your name has caused my relationship. Stay away from us, your fraudulent offer of friendship isn't welcome.
E.
>>17305954
Na man I feel ya. I'm color blind so it confuses most people when I tell them they are colorful.
R,
I did everything I could for you. I spend thousands of dollars. I'd stay up all night just because I knew you always wanted to pick me up in the early morning. I took all of your commands, insults, and punches and embraced them. You were a blatant abuser, but I didn't care, because I loved you, I cared about you, I wanted to help you get better. And you took that care and threw it the fuck away over a couple tiny scratches on my wrist.
And as much as I'd like to say I'm okay now, I'm a better person for it, I'm not. I cry every morning and see you in my dreams every night. I picked up smoking just because it reminds me of you. I take 4 pills every day just to keep me stable, including those benzos you hated so much. Even then, all the medication just shuts me up and makes me feel empty. You were, and still are, the only thing that can make me genuinely happy.
But if you feel better off for leaving me, go for it. I know that I was clingy, boring, and complained a lot. I know you didn't like that I was attracted to you and that I didn't get along with your girlfriend. It's just that I saw all the people in your past who'd left you in the dust and I thought, maybe, I could be the one to stick with you. But I guess it was your turn this time, huh?
Well, if someday, maybe you catch a fond memory of us talking and laughing in your car, on the way to the city, I'll still be here. Lying in the dust, ready to give you anything you want from me.
W
>>17305546
Try again
Try harder
>>17305268
Your messages sent me spiraling. I need to focus.
If you ever need to talk, vent, or anything. Or to go do something. He's there. I wont get offended if you two do things together. I can handle myself.
Thank you for keeping me company that week. I'm sorry. I thought feelings could stay platonic. I'm having trouble not thinking about things. You're everything.
My biggest fear is homelessness. I've been trying to stay focused on improving my situation not matter what. I guess not paying attention to the commitments that formed.
So maybe it's better we keep a distance..
>>17304731
Last initials?
>>17297646
N,
I think about you every day.
I miss you so much.
I have so much love for you.
I can't stop crying. I just want you back in my life. You were one of the only real friends I had. I'm so afraid though. The damage is already done. I'm so sorry.
V
A,
Remember how hard we used to crush about 9 years ago? Those were fun times. We'd hang out and play video games together, talk about your art, about college, my internship and your hilarious mob-involved dad.
You went on to pursue your dream and that made me angry at the time. I was immature, you know? But I never completely forgot you. Naturally, my crush was gone but every now and then I'd check your stuff online and you've gotten much more beautiful than you already were. Not that it matters any, I'm positive I'm nothing but a faded memory to you -- if anything at all, but you've made me really proud. Seeing you achieve your dreams, even from afar, was nice. You got your dream job, moved to your dream place and all that.
Anyway, just know there's someone rooting for you from the shadows.
"I need those by monday",
Boss
To Those Who Love Me,
I wonder what the truth is about slippery slopes. How much can I manipulate before that becomes the person that I am. It’s all about what I want really - but more than that it’s about making you feel like what I want is what you want too. Even better is when I can make it happen without you understanding that it’s what I really want. When the failure stings I don’t know if it’s the failure to get what I want or the failure to win the game that stings more. I do not know how to be content with what I have. I do not know how to stop playing this game.
I'm sorry.
A
Help.
>>17306786
Nah, maybe later.
J
Does your mom pluck between your eyebrows and clean your room now I'm gone? Or do you? Or neither? It just popped into my head the other day.
M
Call me a psycho freak, I, but i totally meant everything i texted you a year ago and i wasn't even drunk.
I hope your life is normal, and you didn't get any chemical addiction, as a hedonist you are.
Your infallible moral values, cute stubborness always made you adorable and manly in the same time.
I don't care about your private life, your soul was always pure, when i knew you and i hope it stayed the same.
You have loyal friends to cheer you up anyway, so just forget that one person who constantly was bringing you down out of cowardice.
I would like to comfort you if you have problems, but i suck in it, you don't want anything from me and your friends deserve spending time with you more.
Dude, you are amazing, i believe it.
>>17304008
Tanya?
And thus, the Js are becoming popular once again.
At least you tried, guys. We had a good run under the radar.
F you're a twat
Haha
Knock off your games when you've been flaunting exactly that all this time. Have at least respect for the fact both of you pushed that on everyone, now you act as if it isn't you after the fact.
Is this your way of saying
>We made sure everyone knew we were together, before we were actually together
or is it just how you function? I didn't mind when you merely sought attention in the past, you were innocent and hence why I defended you. But you don't just seek attention now, you forced that sight onto me and everyone else, and your crush as you now call him legitimately started talking about himself then stopping when it became too transparent. When his shitposting became easier and easier to spot, and trying to disguise it twice after.
I may still be sad, but my irritation on this is not solely jealousy. It's watching your personality, and his.
I don't give a fuck what you thinke. You always want attention and think you are a special, elite breed of person, but you are quite unremarkable. You don't get to march off with other peoples love when your conquests become disposable, and then expect it to work out well for you. You are a selfish, spoiled person who now has a selfish spoiled match to go with your attitude, well done. Now fuck off and leave us alone
>>17307372
I sure hope you didn't make the effort for that to seem like a reply to >>17307338 because it'd make absolutely no sense
>>17307375
It's not
H,
I miss you so much it hurts
-M
I love you.
R,
Have fun being 42 and childless. If you continue your life like this, you will never be loved.
J.
>>17307508
Some people accepted that fate long ago.
Dear G
Your really cute and I just can't work up the strength to be able to tell you how much I like you.
-S
>>17307529
>your
For god sake, tell her in person and not through text.
D
I love the first few seconds of waking up, when I can't remember you
K,
I heard you are moving....but you aren't moving very far, right??? It's been over two months since we talked and all I've wanted to do since is tell you how I feel. I think im just a few weeks from being able to go back to work and all I'm hoping for is seeing and talking to you again...and finally telling you how I feel.
J.
everyone i hurt,
im sorry.
c.
N,
You are the love of my life and I adore you, I hope that we can hold each other again soon. I miss you.
B
M,
I was there when you needed me the most. Last night, when I was at my weakest, you wouldn't even get out of bed for me. I fucking fed you during the time you were unemployed and abandoned by your parents. How do you repay me? By cheating on another guy and having the nerve to say that I shouldn't waste time sulking about it. You're right. I shouldn't waste time sulking about it. I'm not even sulking anymore. Good thing A was there to pick me up last night, unlike you, you fucking ingrate. I have no idea why I even gave you a 13728282nd chance, and you can be damn sure that I regret it.
-P
M,
This morning I cheated with someone and immediately felt disgusted after. It was a terrible mistake, and I wish I could go back and not make it or just shoot myself in the head, but I know that would hurt you even more. I'm so sorry. I've broken your trust before and now we have so much riding on us, on this move, that I can't tell you what happened or it would shatter everything. I'm a liar and a scoundrel and I ought to kill myself outright and save you some pain but that would break you. I also want to keep loving you, because I sincerely do. Everything is for you, all my money, my love, my hopes and wants. Perhaps I'll tell you in time or in a note with enough cash enclosed to have you sitting pretty and cover my cremation costs.
I'm disgusted with myself. Whatever trust you have left for me will be gone if you know, no matter how much you love me. I'm a fool and you're the person that's stayed true and loved me without exception. My mind is on fire and panic stirs my shriveled, meager little soul. I'm worried it will slip out at some point, but part of me doesn't care. I only care that I've done you wrong, terribly wrong and there's no way you would forgive me if you knew. I will rot and burn in hell for eternity, for my sins and for lying to you but I love you so damned much. I'm my own worst enemy and I don't know what to do!
V
>>17307905
I don't know if this helps, V. But at least you're disgusted by what you did. You truly felt guilty because of it.
The girl here,
>>17307847
couldn't even show the same amount of remorse you did. I hope M does forgive you.
Dear Mary,
I yearn for you tragically.
R. O. Shipman, Chaplain, U.S. Army.
M.
I am sorry for sending that passive agressive text questioning your honesty. My head was running allover that day. You know I normally won't say something like that.
D.
>>17297801
filtered
>>17307815
I forgive you. And i still care :)
>>17307916
I do too. I'm truly a scourge to this fine woman. She loves me like no one else, and her almost Marian morality keeps her faithful to me, completely and lovingly content with me. I'm a cur that should have been cut down in infancy to spare her misery. She's my world and all I do is blunder and soil what we've built through tribulation. She's loves me so dearly and I love her the same. If she left me I wouldn't hesitate to do myself in but I don't tell her that.
I have nothing but disdain for myself. I've wronged someone that doesn't pity the weak or cry anxiously over the world's problems, but loves all creation and respects every person. I've done foul things and the worst is not telling her, because it would spell the end of my only living function. She's the only mother I want for my children, and even now, as meager as it is, my possessions belong to her as much as me. I would spend the rest of my life in prison for her honor, and I would happily be buried alive for her life, or castrated or blinded or what the hell else.
It just seems like when she's not with me and I touch alcohol I lose my sense, forget that I've got the greatest achievement I could possibly win. I'm a squanderer and a dirty lying cheat. It's not fair that I should plague her, but I refuse to live without her. It's a Mexican standoff and I feel like I'm on the verge of collapse.
Dear A.
I haven't felt what I have felt with you for years. Our time together has been great, perhaps the some of the best in my life.
I wish you understood how much you mean to me.
>>17307983
And can you drop some Initials? For A or yourself?
I miss sitting on your lap while we played vidya together.
S,
Remember when we considered us best friends? A lot of shit happened and now we don't talk anymore. Hell. I'm sure you hate me by now. Once you found out that I fell for you you distanced yourself from me. I can't even count how many times you just ignored me, refused to talk to me. I can understand that you wanted to distance yourself but you never understood how hurtful that was for me. And yes. I acted like an asshole after you hurt me but you also acted like a bitch towards me. But in retrospect you had every right to be pissed at me after how I acted. If I didn't act like a fucking child maybe things would be different now. I tired to talk with you so many times but you kept ditching me over and over again. And despite all of that you wondered why I got angry and frustrated. It didn't feel like we were friends at all. Hell, I'm not sure if you ever considered me your friend. I know you went through tough times while all that shit was going on and I was trying to help you but you kept pushing me away. It really fucking hurt to be honest. I saw no other way than to break off contact. I didn't want to do that but I saw no other choice anymore. I saw you needed help. You didn't want me to help or even know about it. I regret breaking off contact till this very day. And that shit is about 1 1/2 years ago now. I want to talk to you. I want to have you by my side and I don't mean that in a romantic way. I just want my best friend back.
I'm sorry for how I acted. I wronged you, yes but I want you to understand that you hurt me just as much.
I just wonder whether or not you even care about any of this. Back then you didn't seem too affected by this considering you didn't even attempt to talk with me after I broke off contact. You just accepted it. Was our so called friendship just a lie? I just wish you were by my side to help me through the insufferable hell that is my life right now
This would be longer but I reached the 2000 mark so I'll leave it at this.
R
Friends,
It seems like that you guys only ever seem to talk to me when I message any of you first. I am not sure if this is indicative of me not being liked or if we are all as socially inept as I think we are. It makes me feel bad, I feel that if you guys wanted to talk to me, you would message me first once in a while but it doesn’t happen. I don’t want to bother you guys… Are we all actually friends or did we just fail to make any other friends sophomore year and now we hang out to avoid the fear of not having real friends? I should have switched to an engineering degree...business was a mistake but it is too late. We will all be graduating in August and I know we will never see each other again but I will miss all you. If I ever end love I will invite you all to my wedding. College wasn't so bad with you guys. I just wish it was more.
Tim
Anyone,
As the summer continues on I feel I am slowly losing my mind. I still miss R even though it has been two years since things with her ended. Now I find myself becoming infatuated with cartoons characters from Steven Universe and Wander over Yonder. I’ve got hundreds of pictures of the two green qts from the show mentioned above. I don’t know what to do and this obsession is very unhealthy. Is this what having a waifu(s) is like? I don’t like it and I want it to end but I can’t seem to be able of stopping.
Tim
>>17297646
B,
There's no way I can advance this friendship by myself. If we're this close by yet you've made no effort to spend time, and instead it always has to come from me. Do I take this as you being completely indifferent towards me? Then why all the confidence and trust you place on me? Guess you do this to everyone and I'm not really anything special.
I'm just gonna keep distance for a while and see how it plays out. Not gonna respond to a text from you be it a funny picture (most likely) or an actual attempt at discussion (that would be rare from you nowadays) just like you've done to me to my past texts. I can't tell what impedes this though, you don't hate me and I know that if I asked you to hang out and you were not busy you'd be up to it. Shouldn't I be happy with just that? I don't know, but I know I've done my part, and I've done it well. Balls in your court and I'll just wait. It's a melodrama, but nothing that will take much for me to do, I'm already used to it. I have plenty of other friends to spend time with and they have appreciated my presence much more than you lately; I don't care though, I just don't want you to fade away, but I also don't want to be the only one keeping this together.
Sincerely; M
J,
I miss you, and I love you.
>>17308092
Okay, M.
Just remember.... You asked for this.
Don't blame me if you can't handle my balls.
Stop calling my girlfriend Bryan
You punk faggot, don't break up with bitches you'll just want later.
I don't even come to /adv/ wtf.
R,
I wrote you a letter explaining myself Saturday. I mailed it today so hopefully you receive it tomorrow. I am sorry I got drunk and was thinking with my dick. I hope we'll be able to talk about this after you've read my letter.
J
I can feel you hovering over the button.
Just press it.
>>17308140
I'm good with balls. Swing 'em my way
>>17304731
In the slight chance this is you, a five word email after the shit you've put me through is not fucking trying. You did this. This isn't a mistake of mine. This is the best choice I've ever made. He was there through the bad. He wiped away my tears. He puts a smile on my face daily. He doesn't cheat or lie. He's my life now and will always be. I now know whatit is to be loved. I showed you once and you betrayed and abused me. You will never have that chance again.
Dear B,
I wonder how different things would be if I lost my virginity to you.
For months we had worked together and you stood out to me as my prettiest coworker. Plus, your personality was outrageously fun. You have a talent for making men feel at ease around you.
It took me a long time to admit that I was falling in love with you. I tried to deny it, but I remember the exact moment that I felt an emotion connection with you. Since then, I have tortured myself between constantly switching between loathing and loving you.
We have lived together for over two years. I want to fuck you so badly, I dream about it regularly. It's a curse.
I also know that you are unfaithful and could never be fit to be my wife. You are too cunning and manipulative. I have seen you fuck over too many other men, including you current boyfriend, and rationalize it to remove all guilt from yourself.
I used to think that doublethink was a myth. I thought it was impossible to hold two opposing convictions so strongly but be consciously aware of it. I was wrong.
I don't know how our relationship will change once we're no longer living together. We will still remain friends, but I'm determined to fuck you if I see the opportunity.
- B
>>17308107
initial?
Hey Joelle,
I know you don't want to hear from me anymore, and that it's been 3 years. I just want to say I'd still walk through fire for you. I genuinely hope nothing bad ever happens to you. Sure things between us were fucked up from the start, but I loved you then and still do now. I don't know if you loved me back, or if you were just lonely for those few years, but it doesn't matter. You were a troubled person with a pure soul, and I am only coming to realize exactly how rare that is. I hope if you ever need anything, mundane or extreme, you know to get in touch. I'll be there for you no questions asked. I'll move mountains if you need me to.
From the man who will always have a piece of his heart reserved for you,
James
>>17308185
So you can fuck with my mind some more? No thank you.
Dear Jess,
you dumb, self-centered narcissistic bitch. I'm surprised it took me this long to realize just how superficial you've become over the years but I guess it shouldn't surprise me. In between looking for insults in-between compliments and pretending you have sage advice to give about things, when you don't even have a good grasp on what you yourself are about. I don't know why it is that you have such insane swings from being bearable to being insane but one of these days I will just give you my piece of mind and I hope that when I do it sticks with you forever and you actually grow and learn something from it. Until then I'll just be passively kind towards as I don't want to deal with the fallout of actually calling you out on your own bullshit.
Enjoy being a naive little shit at your age.
-Max
>>17308710
Oh, that was definitely not meant for you
