[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Home]
4chanarchives logo
ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps.

You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

Thread replies: 255
Thread images: 18
File: symbols-017[2].jpg (102 KB, 600x399) Image search: [Google]
symbols-017[2].jpg
102 KB, 600x399
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.

>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.

>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online. Don't complain that this isn't helpful; stupid questions deserve answers like this.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>

>Brandon, that one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off
>>
>>17291200
Girls, why are you usually against guys who don't fight/try to resolve things peacefully?
>>
>>17291219
>don't fight/try to resolve things peacefully?
It's unmasculine and make me drier than a desert.
>>
>>17291200
> I'm single
> recently broke up with 10/10 gf.
> thought she deserves better than me.
> Back in dating game.
> In college history class
> See 2 white QTS with big bootys
> I walk up nervously and say hi
> they don't even look at me
> finally get thier attention and they give me one worded responses with attitude.
> I say "fuck this!" and leave.
> I give a second shot at them and again fail miserably.
Where did I go wrong?!
>>
>>17291243]
Being nonwhite probably
>>
>>17291246
One was a latina
>>
Girls:

Outside of personal kinks, what is the best thing a guy can do while pleasuring you? What is the worst thing?
>>
>>17291219
Depends.
In general being diplomatic and able to explain himself without using violence or raising his voice is perfect. Not standing for himself and being a doormat is obviously a turn off.
>>
>>17291219
There's a difference between a wimp who's terrified of confrontation, and a guy who knows how to diffuse situations without violence. The former is unattractive, the latter is not.
>>
>>17291243
>recently broke up with 10/10 gf.
>thought she deserves better than me.
>Where did I go wrong?!
>>
File: 1466841559855.jpg (32 KB, 470x698) Image search: [Google]
1466841559855.jpg
32 KB, 470x698
>>17291257
>Not standing for himself and being a doormat is obviously a turn off.
>a wimp who's terrified of confrontation

I didn't ask to be like this
>>
File: uwotm8.jpg (6 KB, 200x200) Image search: [Google]
uwotm8.jpg
6 KB, 200x200
Femanons
>Met qt
>chatting goes gr8
>she knows my ex-boss who i've helped through her hard times with her bf
>ask my ex-boss casually about qt
>picrelated happens
>keeps acting like i spat in her face
>i ask her if she's mad or if something happened
>"No"
>"I don't wanna meddle with shit i'm not part of"

What the fuck is her problem? Should i abandon both ships and get my ass as far away from them as possible?
>>
Ladies,

Any preference when it comes to penis curvature? Do certain positions work better with "the right" curvature?
>>
>>17291340
>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
>We're not in their head, we don't fucking know.
>>
>>17291388
Kay, i'm pretty fucking dumb.
Let me ask it different way, do women really get all jealous and "territorial" over people who they don't plan on reaching to until they go for someone else? It's like 5th time this happened to me in less than a year, and seriously it's a really big turnoff to actually pursue anyone.
>>
>>17291340

Might be that she just doesn't want to play your wingman.
>>
>>17291200
Women, if your boyfriend can make you cum using his fingers/mouth but can NEVER last more than a minute during sex, could you ever be satisfied?
>>
>>17291418
I guess I could live with it, but sometimes I just want a good dicking, even if I don't cum.
>>
>>17291418
I don't date people for their ability to give me orgasms, I would date a vibrator if that was the case.

As long as there's intimacy, we kiss, make out and cuddle each other a lot, it's all good. If he gets me off anyway, even better.
>>
>>17291354
Boyfriend has an upward curvature and fucking with my legs around his shoulders is heaven. It's not ideal for blowjobs but it can work out.
>>
>>17291416
Good point, which makes me kind of sad since she had no problem to make me her shoulder to cry on.
>>
In what cases is it a good idea to get back together with ex or is it always a no-no?
>>
>>17291440
Wouldn't say it's always a no-no, but in majority of cases it is just not worth it. There aren't any specific cases where you can say "ok, i should do it" If u really want to see if it's worth it go no-contact for at least 2 months and see how u feel about it after that time.
>>
>>17291437

To be fair, having personal problems that need fixing is a bit different than hooking a friend up with some strange when he's been doing just fine without it.
Especially when that strange is actually someone you know. It's like recommending a friend for a job, their behaviour reflects back on you if you give them the OK.
>>
>>17291440
If you broke up on good terms, it might be possible, but it really depends. It's generally not worth, though.

>>17291418
I only get off on penetration.

>>17291354
Upward curvature is optimal, but anything is fine if I like you enough.

>>17291252
Best thing is still too situational for any answer here to help you. Worst thing? I guess saying something awkward or needy.

>>17291219
Basically this >>17291277
>>
>>17291440
It mostly depends on the reasons of the break up.
If the reasons why you broke up were situational and things got solved, yes. If it was for something more radicated, some personality crashes, then no, never worth it.
Like - I wouldn't get back with my ex who wasn't able to argue and took every criticism as a personal offense, I would get back with my other ex boyfriend because we broke up because he was going to work abroad and didn't know when he was going to get back.
>>
I met a girl 10 days ago
We're both attracted to each other physically, I don't know if it's the case personality-wise
I don't see myself in a couple with herbut I'd like us to be FWB

We already talk about sex and our kinks and she even invited me to go somewhere alone with her (spend time in a park, watch a movie at her place)
How do I turn this into a FWB relationship or "netflix and chill" ?
>>
>>17291252
You mean oral sex specifically? Best is showing enthusiasm (making eye contact or closing your eyes in pleasure, running your hands up and down her thighs, lapping up her juices, making muffled noise), worst is showing lack of that and constant questions like "does this do anything for you?" "are you close yet?" "is this normal?"

Technically, best is subjective and worst is being rough and/or largely ignoring the clitoris.
>>
>>17291440
It's a worthwhile idea if you were a good match and either broke up because of impersonal reasons (like going long distance) or because of reasons that you now worked through (eg anger issues you legitimately got rid of).
>>
>>17291515
>talk about sex
>watch a movie at her place

You're pretty much already set, it doesn't sound like you'll have to try hard to "turn it into" anything. Go watch the movie, sit close to her (like knees touching), flirt with her a bit, be playful and fuck with her, and when the moment is right (she's laughing or playing being upset, flushed, conversation/jokes run smoothly) pull her in just like that. Preferably with an arm around her waist. If she snuggels up to you, look at her face and at the first eye contact bend down and kiss her. Done.

If she shows romantic hints (wanting to hold hands, look in your eyes, touch your face, joking or talking about relationships, picking a romantic movie, talking about wanting to move slowly) abort mission. Whatever you do, don't give out those hints yourself.
>>
>>17291535
>>17291539
Isn't kissing already too far ? I don't want her to think I want to get together
>>
Women, what does boring in a man mean to you?
>>
>>17291544
That was both me for the record, I accidentally refreshed and thought my post was gone and kept the slightly more extensive one.

No. I'm not sure what you're hoping for here, that someone will just spread her legs for you while she keeps her head turned away? Sex is all tied up in feelings of tenderness and affection, you can't change that. Few people would be interested in sex with a person who won't kiss them.
Reasonable rules (at least, based on what I've heard) are no kissing outside of getting sexual, no cuddling after sex and no sleeping over.

>>17291545
I think of someone who only has passive hobbies and doesn't take an active role in them. Think consuming series/sports games/vidya/books, but not having a real opinion on, or anything to say about, the actual content. In general also having an active hobby is better, but there's a huge difference between someone who likes thought provoking movies and discussing your take on it for hours afterwards, and someone who binge watches series to keep themselves entertained and no more than that.

Also, not being able to improvise conversation in the spur of the moment. An extreme example is that when you don't know much about the topic discussed, you can (in most cases) draw a parrallel between what someone else says about it and something you do know something about as a way to start to understand it in your own frame of reference and add your opinion based on the comparable situation or subject.
The extreme opposite of this is when people have their set of opinions/thoughts/preferences, and when you talk about something that falls outside of that, they immediately don't have much to convey anymore as a conversational partner. Those are to me absolutely boring people to talk to, and the only way to get an okay conversation flowing is to either stick to absolute small talk (the weather, exams, what music they like) or let them pick the topic.
>>
>>17291545
Not being able to keep the conversation fresh and interesting.
I do seek the emotional stability, but I deeply, deeply dislike people who can't keep me interested and engaged in a conversation.
Things I can think of
>Not being able to talk about ideas, concepts but just about people and things
>Having few interests
>Having "passive" hobbies as the other anon said (>>17291553)
>Not having anecdotes to talk about
>Not having a sense of humour
>Not showing interest in what I say (lol/haha/I see instead of asking questions or sharing related stories)
>>
>>17291553
>>17291560
This is enlightening, thank you.
>>
>>17291545
Lol, i am introverted and will find a football fan, sportsman boring, but "binge series consumer" mostly interesting. Do people who never form opinion on what they watch actually exist? They eventually know what series is shit and what isn't.
About vidya, i'd find a 1500+ moba hours gamer boring, but it's only because i don't play them.

Man, i guess it all depends on shared interests.
Though hobbies like learning languages, playing an instrument or making art never come off as boring desu.

The things like
>listening to partner
>trying t support unknown topic
are simply crucial for social functioning imo.
>>
Hey ladies? How do you like tall and skinny guys compared to any other body type?
140 lbs here.
>>
>>17291571
I thought about it some more because I feel like I haven't touched the core of what I meant. For me it boils down to the ability to convey to someone else how you experience things and how you look at things, to give them a look behind the scenes so to speak.

I also thought about this because >>17291560 mentions anecdotes and that reminded me... obviously every person lives a life in which things happen, they grow as a person or simply change, and in theory all of those lives tell interesting stories. But not everyone looks at it that way. I am not advocating that you should "rebrand" your life experienes into something that sounds good, but some people are really neat at talking about the things they experienced in an engaging and intriguing way. And that's not because they've been through such amazing things but because they are in touch with themselves and with how the things they live through shape them as a person. It baffles me when I ask a guy about a long relationship (be it friendship or romance) and they go "yeah, it is/was cool" or "ups and downs", not because they don't want to share but because they don't know how to share in a way that draws someone else into their world and shows their inner life and the way they work.

Similar for, for example, with books or movies. What interests me is when someone is able to put into words why and how their perspective on something changed. Not just that they were moved or impressed. For me being interesting is ultimately about being able to both know and show yourself in a more thorough and meaningful manner than simple superficial descriptives.
>>
>>17291580
Have a fetish
>>
>>17291573
See more detailed explanation here >>17291582. I don't think people who think absolutely nothing about what they consume exist, but I do think that people who are unable to put down in words what something evokes in them exist, and people who are satisfied with finding something in itself good and interesting without bothering to think further than that. Eg people who love watching Breaking Bad but as soon as someone wants to argue morality within the series shrug and go "whatever, it's fiction". Those people absolutely exist.
>>
>>17291553
>>17291560

That sounds a lot more like incompatibility to me.

I can talk for hours to some people about anything, and almost nothing to other people who are considered sociable.

Some people expect a conversation to flow a certain way, just because it doesn't go that way means that the person is boring.

Like, a lot of social snowflakes I know just LOVE to rant and trash talk people or things, but rarely have something insightful or positive to say for more than sixty seconds.

Does that make me boring for not wanting to engage in that conversation? Maybe.

Does it make you annoying as fuck? Absolutely.
>>
>>17291580
I'm into chubby guys around my own height but if I like someone I like them. A slender body is beautiful and attractive in its own right. It's overall not a priority to me whether someone matches my physical ideal in that regard.
>>
I have a female friend from college. I think she likes me but I have a gf and she has a bf (so obviously nothing comes of it). A few weeks ago she opened up to me about all her personal problems and some really deep stuff. Ever since that day she's been cold and distant. She has hardly messaged me since (she used to send me messages every day). I like her as a friend so I'm kinda disappointed the friendship has seemed to stop, despite me not judging her and listening/understanding her problems.

Any idea why she's gone completely cold?
>>
>>17291582
Many guys tell anecdotes from internet or from each other, they don't make them up on a whim risking telling a boring story.
Being extremely interesting for any person is for a significant part a result of some work towards this goal.
I am sure people who crave being in the center of attention end up very good at telling stories about their lives, because they practice it much. It just means they wanted attention some time in the past.
That's a certain type of people, not everyone likes them.

So take a shortcut and tell 9gag joke, good copypastas and stories from internet like everyone else.
>>
>>17291588
You name a specific example of behavior that in itself is not socially sensitive/competent/whatever you want to call it. Obviously if you are dead set on talking about x thing, you're going to run into a ton of people who are not interested in that. Because you are not initiating a conversation that organically develops between two people but a very specific conversation.

That is not what I'm referring to at all. What I mean is that you are trying to introduce a number of different topics and each falls on deaf ears because your conversational partner is uneasy with talking about things outside of their own interests.
I have limited interests myself but if someone strikes me up about something I don't know anything about I try my best to at the very least ask interesting questions that are enjoyable to answer. Or as I said, try to compare it to something I do know that I can say things about it, and leave it to them to agree and follow or to shoot it down and explain why it's not comparable and go with that angle. Or simply ask them to explain the basics to a noob, anything. Doesn't mean it's a fantastic conversation, though, obviously you can still have incompatibility, but there's effort.
>>
So a LDR is pretty strong if we've spent every waking hour talking for the last two months right? I'm not crazy?
>>
>>17291595
I'm not talking about anecdotes but about sharing your point of view about life and people and the things that happened to you. I am also not thinking of small talk now necessarily because obviously that doesn't have a good place in small talk, other than glimpses.

>I am sure people who crave being in the center of attention end up very good at telling stories about their lives
You'd be surprised, those tend to think that every trivial thing that happens to them is interesting.
It has to do with introspection and thinking about what you think of things.

Also just want to add the disclaimer that I don't think this is the only way in which a person can be interesting. This is just what I personally find most interesting and appreciate most in others.
>>
>>17291573
Honestly, no, it's not just because "shared interests".

Discussing interests, especially passive interests, gets boring after a while, even if both are interested in it.
Me and my boyfriend share a shitton of interests - we both love watching sports, we watch some tv shows together, we both really like literature and cinema. We travelled a lot. We talk about it, for sure, but it's a pretty superficial and futile discussion, it's the kind of thing we talk about while we're grocery shopping or running errands - it doesn't give you anything. It's the kind of conversation you have to fill the silence. Like discussing about our day or talking about the news. It's not like I feel fulfilled when we're done.
When we have a really interesting conversations we talk about ideas and concepts - we had mind-blowing talks about religion, about ethics, about politics. We talk about psychology a lot. We talk about ourselves, about the future, about our past. It's not just the topic of the conversation, it is the reasoning between what he says that makes him the best conversationalist I've ever met. His understanding of himself and his view of the world is fucking sexy.

And I totally agree with >>17291582, again. It has a LOT to do with being in touch with yourself.
>>
>>17291598
Yes and no.
Meet in person and see how it is in person.
Also, you're still in the honeymoon phase, when even the sound of each other's farts is interesting.

So yes, it is going well, but don't buy engagement rings yet.
>>
>>17291395
Yeah we kinda do, I had a male bestie for oooh 12 years, always secretly loved him but we both had our "issues" I got veeeery territorial and even completely spazzed out at him for stroking another girls leg- immature yes - childish yes - psycho yes- regrettable damn straight. Worst of it is, I couldn't control the rage, it was deep within this one.
>>
Are girls allowed to get mad at a guy for showing interest in them?
>>
>>17291604
Yes, thank you, that is exactly what I meant. What you say about the silence filling conversation is to me a mellow kind of just mutually confirming that you like each other's company and get along. It is easy, it's pleasant, but it doesn't move you or stay with you.

The deeper conversations are more like sharpening your points of view and your very way of living life on each other. It's where you really show yourself and push yourself to show what's going on inside you and an be overwhelmed and changed by the things that the other says to you. Those are the conversations that can change how you look at yourself and the world around you, that make you grow as a person.
Really great that you found someone you are on the same wavelength with in that regard, by the way!
>>
>>17291592
Embarrassed, she sounds like she has deeper feelings and possibly hoped that opening up to you was a sign of this, and it didn't go to plan. Do you have feelings beyond friends ?
>>
>>17291622

better than being led along desu
>>
>>17291624
>>17291624
Its a shame she feels embarrassed because I completely understand her problems (been through similar stuff) and I don't see her any differently after hearing it all. I don't have feelings beyond friends, I can feel maybe a bit of sexual tension. If we weren't in relationships I would date her yes, but I put that out of my mind because I have an amazing GF
>>
>>17291622
I wouldn't get mad if someone showed interest in me.
But if someone harasses me (stranger catcalling me, client looking at my cleavage while I'm serving him, guy I just met online sending me a pic of his dick) or if we're friends for a while and then you basically let me know you wanted to fuck me all along, yeah, I'm going to get mad.
>>
>>17291219

Guys who fight and cant negotiate trigger my time to exit instincts, probably because my parents are not divorced like everyone else on the internet.
>>
>>17291622
You're allowed to be mad for whatever reason.
>>
>>17291587
Ummm... i am that anon and i'd be one of those people, and i personally remember such discussions lead to politics or pseudo-philosophy, pseudo-psychology talk or something similar, which i hate.
It's obvious nobody would change their point of view on the topic and that they just show off, practice debating, bond to similar minded or show devotion to a social group/political party.
I find these topics too controversial and full of nuances and i am not as verbose as politicians to sound convincing (ie distoring truth to make opponents look like dicks) or cool enough to entertain people with my tirades. Which is the whole point.
For god's sake when people start to talk about moral values out loud they want to influence you or sell you something, i want my conversations to be objective and neutral.
I'd like to discuss morals if i was properly educated (philosophy major level) on that topic as well as other people, or it always goes to sides declaring their point of view and others either are happy to agree or silently endure.
I like discussing science and math ideas, because these are objective and can have a correct answer. If i wanted to learn about a person i'd ask about a piece of media and how does he relate to it. With answers like" i love the characters i can feel what they feel "or "this picture makes me homesick, because %memory%" etc...
>>
>>17291647
I just don't see the point in wanting to stay clear of something because you won't be an expert. If I had to never say something psychologically loaded because I'm not a therapist, that would kill a lot of possibilities to talk and I am not trying to diagnose anyone and won't create any damage if I say something that's off.

>that they just show off, practice debating, bond to similar minded etc
I disagree. I like to talk about these things because hearing how someone feels about the morality of for example that show tells me more about their beliefs and inclinations as a person than hearing whether they liked the show does. Similarly, when I go into a discussion based on that I don't hope to convince them or teach them anything. I am just interested in hearing them talk more in depth about their stances, how they reason, what their priorities are.

>i want my conversations to be objective and neutral
I want my newspaper to be objective and neutral, not the way I connect with other people. I don't care that my peers' opinions are going to be subjective and flawed and unprofessional. If I want to learn about ethics properly I'll look up a lecture or read a book, I want to learn about the people talking. I am interested for the sake of learning about them.

And it's also good to hear what you mentioned (like the specific memory) but that's also part of what I said, the ability to explain HOW you relate to something and not just whether you like it or not. It is part of what I meant, that people have insight in what it evokes in them personally.

Having said that obviously we just take a different stance. If I experienced the things I mentioned as pseudo-whatever I would be annoyed with them as well, but I have a different outlook. I do think your perfectionism is admirable and you must be bothered all the time because of how easily and readily people spout their opinion about everything online now.
>>
I'm just looking to vent my frustrations but feel free to give insight.

A girl I used to have a thing with in the past keeps hitting me up every week just to "check up on me". This has been going on for months. She'll usually say she misses me but the few times I do try to hang out with her she flakes on me. It happened again recently and I'm just confused at her actions. I would love to just cut her off but I made a promise not too.

Can anyone please explain this behavior?
>>
>>17291647
The point isn't making other people think what you do, the point is understanding why other people disagree or agree with with you. That's what enriches you - getting to know the reasoning behind a certain position, their perception of the world, their ideas, and trying to understand why you disagree with them, and what you can agree on.
I don't talk to people to convert them, I don't talk to people to show devotion to my ideas and I don't believe that my answer is the correct answer, or that there is a correct answer in general.
I talk to people because it's interesting and it makes me understand the core of the other person. If we can agree on some objective things (which I can with most), it's so interesting to understand why we have different positions, why we perceive the world differently, it tells me so much about them.
Sometimes it is mind-blowing and I understand that their position is right, sometimes I learn something new about myself or about the person I'm talking to.

What's funny about having a neutral conversation? What does it bring to you? How does it change you?
The purpose of bonding, of getting close to someone, of understanding someone is letting them enrich you and change you.

>>17291623
Yeah, it's pretty great honestly, I've never been this happy.
>>
>>17291629
US women are odd fish, we need reassurance a little too much I'm affriad. I would like to say it great that you see your f2f is . Amazing, but would their be sexual tension if you were completely satisfied? If you want to salvage the friendship and that alone personally I'd send her a message telling her you'll always be there for her and that you hold her in your mind as a fantastic friend, that you don't see her in any other light after your chat other than you respect her for opening up to you.
>>
>all this talk abiut talking
Any girl here would like to be in a relationship where you barely talk? A relation focused on actions not words?
I don't i think i can be in a relationship where talking is a big thing.
>>
>>17291706
For me, no. I'm just one person but heart to hearts is how I feel emotionally close to someone. You have have physical intimacy with anyone, psychological intimacy not so much.
>>
>>17291706
If you don't talk, you will have communication problems
And that's the bane of relationships
>>
>>17291706
I do need emotional intimacy, which I mainly express through words.
I love taking care of someone with actions more than I do with words, it's fun to do active things together, we all like fucking, it's great to spend time minding our own business but in the same room, but I need to be with someone I deeply connect with and I can talk to
>>
>>17291714
That's not true. I talk very little with my sister and we have a good relationship.
>>17291713
But do you absolutely need talking to have psychological intimancy?
That's the problem i have, people thinking of talking as the utmost for of communication, but for me it's when people are at the peak of their fakeness.
>>
>>17291713
>>17291714
>>17291720
That's why i will never be a proper woman, i never bond through talking.

>>17291706
You still need to discuss how you feel towards each other and what you want from your future.
Extremely down-to-earth women probably won't depend on talking, demonstrations of affection will suffice.
>>
>>17291734
I'm saying i don't want to talk ever, but i think of talking as something secondary/tertiary.
>>
>>17291545
>>17291545
This guy here.

Appreciate the conversation and infomation.
>>
>>17291732
>But do you absolutely need talking to have psychological intimancy?
For me, yeah. Real talk (so not just chatter and exchanging random thoughts) is people trying to bear their souls for each other. It's showing who you are not in terms of your behavioral patterns and day to day preferences but in terms of hopes and fears, your dreams, your future and past. You're showing what goes on in your heart and soul in a way that someone who loves you might guess at accurately otherwise, but can never really know.
I cannot imagine feeling close emotionally to someone who does not reach out to me in that way.

Having said that, look at >>17291734, people are different and there are plenty of relationships in which talking isn't a big deal. It's all one person's perspectives you get on here.
>>
>>17291737
It's entirely possible with women who dislike talking.
There must be no less than a third of them.
>>
>>17291741
Would be in a relationship where deep talk is 80-90% of the talking? You would talk about these things only at the times you would talk about it in a regular relationship or a little less.
>>17291742
I have never met one though. Shit sucks...
>>
>>17291749
Would you* be
>>
>>17291749
In theory I would at least give it a shot, although I do love talking in general as well, but in practice I can't really picture going from 0 to 80 if you get what I mean. I can't imagine that it's easy to go to barely having flowing conversation to suddenly being on the same wavelength completely and saying all the right things.

I do think ultimately this is much more important than whether you like talking generally, though. There are also girls who really like talking themselves, but are fine with a guy just listening (or even subtly zoning out). That seems annoying but if you don't care about that, it could work as well.
>>
Okay confused woman here, regarding the talking side of it all. Touchy feely is great but too much is like sex kryptonite. Me and my fella talk all the time, about gaming, t.v, , what we're reading, laughing and joking. We're best friends but honestly we actually were before we got together. We both have heart to hearts just not all the time, if we did they wouldn't be heart to hearts, they would have no emotion as you'd become desensitized to what your hearing cause you hear it all the time. Think of it like porn, you watch too much of the same thing it doesn't excite you, so you shake it up a bit. And yes we do watch porn together too haha!
>>
>>17291760
I mentioned heart to hearts and it was not my intention to make it sound like it should be a regularly occurring thing in a relationship. Just the prime example of why I feel like talking can be a great tool for achieving emotional intimacy.
>>
>>17291769
Completely agree, you do get a level of intimacy that is quite freeing for use of a better word. I'll be honest we had one the other night that gave me a whole new perspective on how our relationship started, it gave me understanding and honestly brought me closer to him than I thought possible, they're definitely needed without a doubt. Don't think I could cope in a relationship with nothing and no connection. It's something that comes above sex and gives you a deeper understanding of each other.
>>
I rejected my first girl not too long ago.

It felt weird being on the other end of the rejection. But it surprisingly felt good though.

Why did it feel good to reject a girl when there's so many >no gf guys in the world?
>>
>>17291587
>people who love watching Breaking Bad but as soon as someone wants to argue morality within the series shrug and go "whatever, it's fiction".
Now I know who you're talking about. Those people suck.
>>
>>17291754
It's so weird for me seeing how much people care about talking.
You can also reach 80 with little talking too.
Anyway; anon, our love can never be.
>>
>>17291784
Because she showed that you are bf material to her and you where able to reject her because she wasn't Gf material to you. You felt superioir and out of her league. Welcome to the world of girls.
>>
>>17291760

Sounds like what an autistic person would say who thinks sharing your feelings is a huge effort.
>>
File: receding hairline.jpg (116 KB, 336x577) Image search: [Google]
receding hairline.jpg
116 KB, 336x577
>>17291200
What should I do if I'm balding at 21? It's moderately bad already, serious receding hairline with thinning at the front. Used to get hit on a lot, so I think my face is alright.

Should I just shave my head completely, and hope my head shape isn't too weird? Should I go to the gym more times per week, and get jacked? For some reason I can't imagine having a smooth shaved head without being jacked.
>>
>>17291881
>Shave head
>Grow beard
>???
>profit
>>
>>17291631
>if we're friends for a while and then you basically let me know you wanted to fuck me all along
I find most of the women I'm friends with attractive on some level, I just don't pursue anything because I think it would make things weird. It's just balancing the pros and cons, I don't see why it's so offensive.
>>
>>17291899
>Grow beard
Not him but my options boil down to clean shaven, neckbeard, or that hulk hogan mustache. I'm going to go on a limb but I figure the first option is the best one.
>>
>>17291905
Because it feels like the only reason why you befriended me was to fuck me. It feels like the premises of our relationships are wrong, because I wanted friendship and you wanted more. It feels like I invested in a friendship when you were just trying to fuck me, it makes me feel like I wasted my affection on someone who just wanted my pussy.
>>
>>17291905
Just wanted to add another perspective, I feel the same way about my male friends (would fuck them all in a heartbeat, would never actually do it because I find by far most men attractive and do not have years old friendships with most, so it would be absolutely retarded to throw away a bond I invested in time and time again for some quick dick) and presume that at least some would fuck me as well if there were no consequences, no fucks given.
>>
>>17291918
>Because it feels like the only reason why you befriended me was to fuck me.
I could get that if he was a dick when you said no, but if he accepts the answer no maturely I don't get what the issue is.

> It feels like the premises of our relationships are wrong, because I wanted friendship and you wanted more.
Friends with benefits and a relationship are different though. If he was trying to win your heart over by being a friend first I get the issue, because yeah he was approaching it entirely wrong but friends with benefits and just being friends use the same foundation. But if you're even halfway attractive, most of your male friends have at least thought of fucking you once or twice.
>>
>>17291784
You were in control. It is such a stigma that females are the "choosers of mates" when in fact we (as humans) are more in control of our bodies and our relationships than we think,
>>
>>17291960
The asker is the vulnerable one. Not the askee. Albeit in our society, more often than not the male takes the role of the asker.
>>
Back to the talking thing... sometimes I feel as if I just ask questions or respond because that's the norm, I mean, I dont ask or respond because I really want to.

Is it because it's just my personality or because the other person is not engaging? I have this problems with a girl I like.
>>
Guys: Is it true that women who make a lot of money make you feel insecure or is this a meme 1st world feminists invented to feel oppressed?
>>
>>17292039
It's a bullshit meme. I will say, however, that an ex of mine who started making more money than me stopped respecting me until I made more than her. Take that for what you will.
>>
>>17291939
If someone asked me to be in a relationship after we are already decent friends, I'd be pissed off because of the "different foundation" thing.
Unless our relationship changed with time, in which case I'd understand, but that kind of thing is generally mutual.

If a close friend asked me to be friends with benefits, I'd honestly be very annoyed and think they value me less than I value them. First, when you start fucking with someone that's all you do - it's rare to keep a deep, close friendship and do something other than fucking when you can actually fuck. Second, it's rare to keep a good friendship after you stop having "benefits". Third, I don't think that if me or him get in a relationship our new partner would be okay with us hanging out with someone we used to fuck. So either way the relationship is screwed. And I hope my close friends value our friendship more than getting their dick wet.

If someone I have a superficial friendship with asked me to be FWB, I'd sort of be fine with it, but still say no because I'm against casual sex.

No problem with being attracted to friends, I am attracted to them too.
>>
>>17292007
Hmmm, I'd say you're just not finding her that interesting. Why do you even like her, just because she's pretty?
>>
>>17292039

That's subjective. My girlfriend has already graduated and is making bank, I'm still in uni. Doesn't really bother me. Insecure lads might feel threatened as it makes them irrelevant in terms of being a provider.
>>
>>17292063
Why couldn't he just be appreciating the moment?
A lot of times talking is just a waste of a perfect opportunity of staying quiet.
>>
>>17292039
Not really, in my experience it's more that women don't like "dating down" so they make up a lot of excuses.
>>
>>17292039
>>17292059
>>17292153
Studies do show that men of female breadwinners are both more likely to cheat and more likely to abuse their wife (potentially as masculinity compensation).

http://edition.cnn.com/2015/06/01/living/infidelity-men-women-breadwinners-feat/

http://bama.ua.edu/~sborrell/sw576/atkinson.pdf
>>
>>17292167
>Men are stupid
Nothing new under the sun
>>
>>17292186
Eh, it's not exactly uplifting to read but men have for centuries received the message that taking care of your family this way was your role and purpose as a man. It is unsurprising to me that it is hard to deal with when that suddenly falls away.

Not to mention that men cannot compete with women when it comes to the parenting importance. The value of fathers is being more and more recognized but biologically the mother is just one step ahead carrying the child and literally giving it life. I can sort of imagine having an identity problem in that regard.
>>
>>17292063
I dont know, we have a connection, I think its our personalities, because we are both always making jokes,

The problem is, when we are together I cant even be myself or tell jokes, its like there is a wall that doesnt let me be relaxed, like if I say something I'll fuck up and she will leave me.
>>
File: 1466526168183.jpg (34 KB, 640x480) Image search: [Google]
1466526168183.jpg
34 KB, 640x480
>>17292167
>Studies do show that men of female breadwinners are both more likely to cheat and more likely to abuse their wife
Women are also known to look down on men when they themselves are the breadwinner. When you look down on your partner, it's not surprising that they become resentful, and in turn abusive.

Not that I condone abusive behavior, but it's not exactly hard to understand the reasoning.

http://www.baka.com.au/lifestyle/life/why-women-lose-the-dating-game-20120421-1xdn0.html
>>
>>17292153
Women can barely stand dating across.
>>
>>17292240
That link doesn't work, but it's the piece on women wanting to put off children and not downdate, right?

I am not saying that women don't play a part in it, but the question was whether it's true that it takes a toll on male self esteem when their partner makes more and that's just an observable phenomenon. Obviously that does not come into existence in a vacuum.
>>
>>17292221
And obviously we have to talk, otherwise its us sitting on a bank staring at the sky...
>>
>>17292260
Also to add, if your article was the one I had in mind then it concerned women who were looking for an equal or better partner. That doesn't necessarily mean that women who did prove to be open to dating someone with lower career prospects, they would feel the same about it.

It is not exactly a rarity anymore for a woman to make more than her husband. As the first link I posted mentioned, according to a Pew study four in ten households with kids had a female breadwinner. That's almost half. There are more and more women who are ambitious and want to succeed in their career and that often requires a partner who at least does not rival you in professional ambitions.

That's not to say I rule out that resentment of wives towards husbands is still an issue. If you look at how men respond to not being the breadwinner it seems doubtful to me that women are able to 100% shrug off those cultural expectations.
>>
>>17292260
>That link doesn't work
Oh god damn that word filter, its from the sunday morning herald.

>The high expectations of professional women are a big part of the story. Many high-achieving women simply are not interested in Mr Average, says Justin Parfitt, the owner of Australia's fastest growing speed-dating organisation, Fast Impressions. Parfitt adds: ''They've swallowed the L'Oreal line: 'Because you're worth it!' There's a real sense of entitlement.''

>He finds many of his female members are determined to meet only men who are tall, attractive, wealthy and well educated. They want the alpha males. ''Most of the professional women rarely give out 'yes' votes to men who aren't similarly successful,'' reports Parfitt, who struggles to attract enough of these successful men to his speed-dating events. Sixty per cent of his members are female. Most are over 30.

Now obviously not every woman is the equivalent of an alpha male (most are well, average after all), there are only so many that can go around. I've seen women in decent careers rule out other men in valid careers, because they were blue collar for instance. Pipe fitters and welders and so on have good job security and income but many women (people in general really) think they're too good for that.
>>
>>17292280
Yeah I fully agree that this is a big issue. Especially because where I live women in the age category 25-35 (younger has not been researched yet) already are better educated, have better jobs and make more money than their male counterparts. So this expectation needs to come around quickly or shit's going to fall apart more so than it already has.
>>
>>17292294
>Especially because where I live women in the age category 25-35 (younger has not been researched yet) already are better educated
Where do you live? Because in the states women are getting more degrees, but an amazing number of them are worthless. This translates to worse wages because of worse careers, aka the 72% wage gap.

http://flathatnews.com/2015/02/02/stem-majors-among-most-gender-imbalanced-at-the-college/
>>
>>17292280
How come women have become more successful in education etc while men have declined? Can we just not be bothered anymore?
>>
>>17292320
see
>>17292319

Keep throwing money at women to enter education, and yeah more will enter college. Doesnt mean it's worth the effort though, the world needs only so many communication majors.
>>
>>17292039
It's a meme. But obviously if you come to RELY on someone else your position is less secure.
>>
>>17292319
The Netherlands.

>>17292320
Women have a headstart. Female children are much better suited to the educational system, that asks for ability to concentrate and sit still for prolonged time even as young kids. Women also are more oriented towards peace making and playing together nicely from a young age onwards, which is in turn stimulated because parents are less alarmed by boys fighting ("boys will be boys") than girls.
So the girls are easier students, and that makes them more pleasant pupils, so teachers have to fight against the (subconscious) bias towards girls while they have more issues with getting the boys to behave. This only continues in high shool, where girls at a younger age start to take their schoolwork seriously, and feel less desire to rebel against teachers. It is also more often seen as cool for guys to have a certain indifference towards what others/school expects from them and instead focus on their friends, hobbies, parties, girls, whatever is the main thing in their social clique. That and guys are much more likely to get sucked into porn and/or vidya big time, and in general have a bigger chance of becoming a substance addict. So more escapism that distract from real world achievement.
>>
>>17292324
This is an outdated view in many parts of the world. Again, where I live there are more female medstudents than male ones. More female law students as well and more female judges already. Men still opt more for the really technical educations, but it's untrue that women are just doing "useless" educations. They don't make more money and are employed more often for nothing.

This is not a rarity in Europe anymore. Countries like Denmark, Sweden, Germany etc show similar development. Women also drop out of education much less often and complete it in fewer years.
>>
How long after the day a period would start should I be worried? Its been about 2-3 days, but its usually on time. I'm worried that since we had sex twice there have have been "cross contamination" and say a hand hand have had sperm on it, idiot mistake, i know.
>>
>>17292319
Not that anon, but in my country, women are also better-educated. And our universities generally don't even offer meme degrees such as gender studies because we have no SJW culture. It is true that women still gravitate towards humanities, but many of them still make more money than men.
For example, I'm a philologist. That may not seem impressive, however I am fluent in five languages and I mainly work as an interpreter. Simultaneous interpreting is a female-dominated field (apparently it has to do with the multitasking meme) and it is very very well-paid. Just to give you an idea, I can earn 459,47 USD a day and that's just for interpreting from English. More obscure languages are more expensive. I am Eastern European, so there are people in my country who actually make less than that in a whole month.
>>
>>17292353
What's the best way to learn a language without school?
>>
>>17292324
>>17292338
And if you don't believe me, see https://www.oecd.org/edu/ceri/41939699.pdf, page 267 gives an overview of female to male percentages in higher education. Obviously that doesn't mean they're all (or even proportionally) getting degrees that you think highly of, but you're not going to tell me that the sole reason that women outnumber men in twenty five of the thirty listed countries is solely because of funding... which is also not a thing at least in my country. The only thing that happens is that women get (non-financially) encouraged to consider a degree (like physics) that traditionally has few female students.
>>
Girls, if a guy asks you out for drinks or something (meaning something pretty clear that it's a date, not someone you've known forever), how much do you assume they're into you?

I just always have this feeling that taking a girl out is like this big to-do, and they think I'm going to put on a show to woo their affection, when really, I just want to see where things go.

I'm really good at dates, too, so I worry that I'm going to take some poor girl out and lead her on... so I normally just don't ask anyone out.
>>
>>17292007
anyone that can drop insight in here?
>>
>>17292338
>This is an outdated view in many parts of the world.
Maybe where you live, but it is entirely appropriate in the US.

>it's untrue that women are just doing "useless" educations.
I said a significant number of them are.
http://www.randalolson.com/2015/08/16/u-s-college-majors-median-yearly-earnings-vs-gender-ratio/

Surprise, female dominated careers typically make less. They're going for soft topics like psychology or child education.
>>
>>17292372
I think it depends on how experienced they are. The way you describe it sounds typical to me of people who have done it a lot and see it as a way to find out if the (potentially quite minor) spark you felt is really promising or not.

Personally I would be nervous and try not to think about it too much altogether. I would be happy to be with someone who felt your way, though, if anything I've had an issue with guys being pushy and unable to take a rejection.

>>17292377
Sorry to say that it does kind of sound like you're not that interested in people to me. Usually it's while you are talking and asking questions that you find if you think the other person is interesting/engaging or not. And it is pretty normal to be curious about someone you don't know, even if they don't seem particularly promising.
>>
>>17292039
Untrue.
For the most part i've been the main provider in my family, bringing home the bacon while my wife took care of our kids until they were 1 yo. The times where she had an income between kids are great. And when hers was bigger than mine it was great. For starters it meant that i could scale back work a bit, plus i liked knowing she wasn't feeling trapped as a stay at home mom (which might appeal to some, but not her. At least not in the long run).

tl;dr: It's a bullshit meme thinking men can't handle earning less than women.
>>
>>17292389
am i an autist or antisocial then
>>
>>17292384
Do women in the US still get paid money just to attend university? That would be odd, given that they already made up 60% of the students in 2015.

I am not saying that women are not opting more for those degrees on average. I was just irked by your statement that it's pointless to want women in university because they opt for soft majors. In Holland women also choose psychology much more often than math, but they still manage to be better employed and paid because in a time where university degrees are more and more common more people have an occupation that is more loosely connected to what they went to college for.
>>
>>17292411
That's a crude conclusion to draw from one post, and something you can judge better than any stranger with bare descriptives. You can take some tests online and if the result is worrisome consider educating yourself on the subject matter or consulting a professional.
>>
Going to be having sex for the first time soon. I am male, my partner is female. She has experience. She knows I'm a virgin.

How do I NOT fuck this up? I am a decently fast learner.
>>
I'm not attractive and I'm 5'9. Should I lose all' hopes of having a girl?
>>
>>17292366
I've learned most of the languages I know without a school, I basically went there only to get my degree to make it official.
I don't know if this is going to work for you because I have a knack for language learning, but here's what I did.
First, learn some basic vocabulary. This part won't be fun since it's just storing information into your memory. Then, learn some basic grammar. This should be easier since at least there will be some consistency. Once you're done with these two steps, read a lot. Surround yourself with the language, listen to songs and youtubers. That's it. It honestly isn't difficult, but people fail just because they lack the endurance.
>>
>>17292445
>take your time, don't rush it, allow yourself to grow more comfortable with the situation
>don't forcibly focus on her pleasure, chances are you're a better lover if you allow yourself to act on your own arousal and do spur of the moment things (like give her ass a slap if it looks delicious to you right that moment)
>don't be afraid to show that you're enjoying yourself, don't try to fuck like a robot, try to talk dirty
>virtually all women love firm-but-soft pressure on their hips and the small of their back
>the throat/neck, ears (especially earlobe and spot behind the ear) and thighs are great sensitive places to sensually lick and nibble on
>if you are uncertain, asking for confirmation is okay but express it in a positive way (so not "does this feel good?" "is this too hard?" but "tell me how it feels" "is that good like that? yeah?" in an excited manner)
>don't get too hung up on wanting to fuck like a dominant man or a pornstar, the focus should be having fun together
>>
>>17292470
Do you know of any good sites?Or shall I try find a grammer book etc?
>>
>>17292482
That would depend on the language you want to learn, anon. Maybe I know, maybe I don't. Are you thinking of anything specific?
>>
>>17292493
Spanish.

I also have no idea why I didn't write the language...
>>
>>17292502
Oh, Spanish. I actually studied it in my native language since there were many resources available, so I don't really know any English sites, but you should be able to find materials in English just as easily since it's a wide-spread language. I don't think it's necessary to buy a grammar book in this case.
>>
>>17292522
Cheers lad.
>>
>>17292436
>Do women in the US still get paid money just to attend university?
We have scholarships dedicated to nudging more women into college. One of the many reasons I find the argument that women are better students a bit amusing. People will always follow free money.

You see many scholarships trying to encourage more women to enter stem for instance, but I've never heard of one for male nurses.
>>
>>17292039
if they were my girlfriend and we clicked well i wouldn't mind at all

but i'd probably feel insecure about it in a more general sense
>>
>>17292560
Then that is odd and not proportionate to reality. However what I see around me is that there is no such funding for women in my nation and they still outdo men not just in academic education but also in high school (we have separate levels of education there as well, and they follow higher levels and receive higher grades). I don't have enough insight in the situation in the US but at least with our current national schooling system, women simply do better. Though as I mentioned in the other post I think this is largely the fault of not catering to a different development among boys, but that's another issue altogether.

We do have the stem encouragement things. And I agree that men are in many ways overlooked, which shows itself also in the fact that women outnumbering men in higher education is not often seen as an issue. I mean, striving for exactly 50/50 is silly, but it's now rather the other way around.
I do think though that part of the reason that there's little attention for encouraging men to chase female oriented educations, is that they are low status in society. People look down on nurses compared to doctors, and nurses are often regarded as people not smart enough to become an "actual" doctor. Pretty much all female dominated areas are looked down upon to some extent, so I think that is partly why it's not really seen as an issue that fewer men are interested in them. STEM degrees are seen as more useful, more valuable, more challenging and a mark of higher intelligence.
>>
>>17292278
>Pew study four in ten households with kids had a female breadwinner.
>about 1 in 4 US children live in a household headed by a single mother
>>
>>17292342
A period isn't even technically late until it's been 5 says after the expected start day.
>>
>>17292653
Thanks man, its going to be a ling couple of days til then
>>
Guys, if we're going to a club on the second date does he just want sex?
>>
>>17291200
>been talking to girl for a few days
>turns out she's really cool
>I ask her what kind of movies she likes and if she has ever made out with somebody while at the movies
>she tells me the movies she likes and then tells me she hasn't been on a date at a movie theater and asks me if i have

Should i spin this off and say something like "wow you've never been movie date before? Why don't we fix that?"

Or i am going too fast by asking her out?
>>
>>17292445
She knows you're a virgin? Absolutely fine mate, it might be shit but once you come in a girl for the first time its all uphill from there. Trust me, just kiss her and finger her a lot til you're hard and you'll be fine.

How the fuck do I meet women? All I do is have casual sex, I've never had a serious relationship.
>>
>>17292443
I dont know, I struggle a lot with this, because I cant be normal and that will put me away from her and if I we get in a relationship, it will break it up.

Gotta consult this with my therapist, in my last visit everything was going so well but now with this girl everything seems to not be so good.
>>
>>17291440
only if you split because of circumstantial shit, not because of incompatibility
>>17292039
not at all
>>17292693
i've never been to a club...
>>
This girl I like and would like to relationship recently had a good friend of hers die. I hung out with her a couple times, through mutual friends, and we click pretty well.

She put her (new) number up on fb (recently), but I've never texted her before - only by proxy through a friend.

I'm also quite good at making people feel good/happy because I'm generally a happy, jovial person. It sounds narcissistic but I can't describe myself accurately in such short of post - just leave it at that, that I'm a good "therapist", guy to talk to, and she knows this.

What should my first text to her say to convey that I care about her, while not being too out of the blue?
>>
Do you lie about what kind of porn you watch to your boy/girlfriend? I do, but I feel really bad about it
>>
meet qt girl at uni
we have same class and are always grouped together
i find her very attractive
ask her if maybe we can go over each others notes sometime.
she agrees.
meet up at coffee shop next day
penis goes in vagina
but not my penis! never my penis!
>>
>>17292792
Ideally I would eventually be 100% open, but it's not something that I would be upfront about right from the start, and if I got the impression that he was vanilla/naive I would absolutely tread carefully.
>>
>>17292785
Be short and sweet. Something akin to "Hey, I don't want to make you feel pressured into being social right now, but I just wanted to let you know that I heard about what happened and am really sorry. In case you do want to talk to someone, you know where to find me."
>>
It's a rainy evening and I feel pretty down, and I miss a friend I've drifted away from over time. Would it be odd to actually tell her I miss her? We used to be pretty close; I spent a good year or so helping her get past some emotional issues and suicidal tendencies.

It's a shame. I really did enjoy talking to her, and now i'm lucky if we chat maybe once every few months.
>>
>>17292843
No. She can find it uncomfortable but that says more about her ability to have an emotional relationship with people than about that the action itself is weird.
>>
>>17292839
I like this, thanks.
>>
>>17292857
No problem! It's an awkward situation to navigate because of the loss, but ultimately she'll just be happy especially with the combination of getting support without it immediately being an obligation. This also gives you a better chance if she doesn't feel up to it right now, she'll leave it be and just have a positive association and might get back to you when she feels more stable about it. Good luck!
>>
>>17292835
I just feel like there is some types of porn, usually extremely degrading shit, that is only meant to be viewed by yourself.
>>
>>17292925
This is a tough one for me. Mostly because I REALLY like masturbation (as a turn on, I mean, though I love doing it a lot as well) so I am usually very interested in what type of porn someone likes. But I will readily admit that if a guy told me that he liked nothing more than to watch a girl get raped as realistically as possible, that would not sit well with me at all.

And that's also my concern. The porn I like is innocent and does not translate 1:1 in real life desires, but it would just disgust most people not into that (I like to watch stuffing sessions). I can picture exactly how it would come across to someone not aroused by it and cringe at the idea of someone associating me with that.

But on the other hand, I have to say I have in the past confessed embarrassing turn ons to someone I was with and it was an amazingly intimate and safe/accepted feeling to discuss that with him in real life with him being amused but not turned off or weirded out. But yeah it's just reality that not everything will be accepted and you can never know... plus how embarrassing would it be if that person is revolted by it and then even after breaking up they will forever know that that gets you off? Just all around awkward.
>>
Been dating this girl for a few months now, only been "official" for about a month, though. We don't see/talk as much as I like. She's used to limited communication and meeting from past relationships, and I'm used to a ton of it, almost to the point where it's unhealthy. We both decided we have to meet in the middle somewhere, but holy fuck am I having a hard time reconciling this.

Her work schedule has been really erratic the last few weeks, and we've only really had the chance to meet once a week or so, and while we talk daily, it's somewhat limited and there's large gaps between replies sometimes.

Am I overreacting? Should I suck it up and deal with it? We've spoken about it, and we can't do much about the schedule. She promised to work on communicating better, but there's been no progress. It's kind of been eating away at me for a while, and I'm trying to be as patient as I can while we wait for her schedule to calm down and become routine, but goddamn, man. I'm just not happy with how little we meet and talk.
>>
>>17293000
Seeing each other once a week, especially if it's for limited time due to extra stress, seems pretty fair to me. Having said that people have different expectations and needs. You already pointed out being used to a different norm from earlier relationships, but there's also just how much time you like to spend socially and how much alone time you like in general.

Sadly I don't think you have much wriggle room here. If you don't want to endanger the relationship you want to avoid making yourself into a chore at all possible costs. If anything I would try to think about something that she can do that is not necessarily communiating more. For example taking initiative more or being more open/expressive/personal when you do talk. That way you can sort of phrase it like constructive criticism: you realize that she's already making an effort to meet you half-way, but you are still struggling with it [which you realize is something you have to learn to cope with] and could she perhaps do x or y to make the most out of what time you do spend together?
Something like that. I honestly wouldn't know what other option there is. You can obviously all her out on not managing to keep up with her promises yet but I doubt that will motivate her, more than frustrate her or make her feel suffocated. You are not going to magically change that this is an incompatibility.
>>
>>17293011
I realize I have to pretty much suck it up. I have a lot festering up inside me from all this, but she's a great girl, and I know she means well. We've communicated pretty openly whenever we wanted to speak about our relationship and issues either of us may have, so that's a good thing. I've brought this point up once or twice when we spoke, and I fear if I belabor the point any more, I might cause a rift between us. She knows this limited communication and time together is hard on us, and it is. I just feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a fucking hard place, like I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.

All my friends in relationships see their SO more than once a week, and I'm incredibly jealous. I know we're pretty early in our relationship, and we're both feeling things out, but the anxiety this all gives me drives me up the fucking wall. But like you said, I have very few, if any options if I want to keep things going well.
>>
>>17293027
Honestly, I don't mean to be a downer but this sounds to me like the kind of thing you might want to break up over before you're far too attached for that to remotely be an option. This is a serious difference that is already popping up in the honeymoon phase, when lots of problems are usually still invisible, and there's a good chance that you're going to resent her sooner or later. There are plenty of girls around who would want to see their boyfriend more regularly than once a week. I get that this is far from a tempting idea but I think it's worth considering it very seriously. If it's hard now it will only be harder in half a year, while it's unlikely that you are suddenly going to be on the same page about this.
>>
>>17293036
I understand where you're coming from. I'm trying to do anything it takes in order for us both to be happy in this relationship, but I'm not sure how easily mutual happiness can be attainable if we have conflicting ideas on how much we should communicate. Again, we both agreed to meet in the middle somewhere. She proposed the idea of meeting twice a week, then once a week, then twice, and so on. The fact that she's willing to come out of her comfort zone is relieving. Again, we both came out of her previous relationships with these mindsets ingrained in us, and it'll take a while for us to break away from old habits. We've only really met once a week because of her shitty work schedule. We've had plans to meet twice a week in the past that were ruined because of her job.

I've dated around a lot the past few years, and this girl is amazing, but I have a tendency to fall way too hard for women, and this is no different.
>>
>>17292958
What the hell are stuffing sessions?
>>
Girls, how do i actually know when to "take a hint?" This one girl one day is super chatty and flirty towards me, and another day i'm getting confused by her actions. She happily agreed to hang out with me, and few days later when i started talking about it i got "i'm busy now" response. I even joked about how i should just forget about it and she responded "but it's not my fault i'm busy right now" When i told her she could suggest a term herself she said "maybe next week?" and we just dropped it there.

Am i overreading this as "drop it" sign?
>>
>>17293049
Well, I completely hear you, and that would be hard to walk away from for anyone. But the shitty thing is that even if the communication between the two of you is absolutely solid, which it sounds like, you obviously still feel the need to tip toe around issues to not scare her off. It's good that she wants to compromise, but this is also still hard on you.

And consider that all the more if this is not her usual idea of a relationship, her life isn't really constructed to make room for the kind of relationship (or even compromise) you'd like. If it's not her job, are you sure that there won't be other factors coming up? Or that she can meet you but happened to promise a friend to hop by her party so could you please just go there together?

Again, I very much see that this is a hard to abandon ship and I don't mean to convince you, I just think this moment is a better time to search your soul than a year down the road. But you could be right with the adjustment period, every relationship is new and needs to be figured out individually.
>>
>>17293071
Overeating. Basically guys (is my preference at least, girls are more popular because for whatever reason this is a fetish men usually have) filming how they scarf down lots of food after already being full so their stomach extends hugely, making a big show out of undoing their belt/trousers, burping, stuff like that. Which can go on for half an hour or so because obviously it takes time.
>>
>>17293095
I only feel the need to tip-toe around the issue because I've brought it up a few times. I don't want to constantly annoy her with this issue, despite her telling me I should bring up anything that's bothering me.

I'm not sure if there would be other factors. Before she took this job (and before we become an "official" couple), we met often enough where I was happy. Communication has definitely improved since. We've opened up a lot to each other about both of our pasts, which is something neither of us really do.

I'd only really leave nothing else improves in the next few weeks. Her schedule clears up this week, so I might give it some time before I consider leaving for my own sake.
>>
>>17293130
Sure, but I bet you are dealing with all kinds of feelings that you feel would make her look at you as clingy if you voiced them to her... at least, that's what seems likely to me. Otherwise you're lucky at least that isn't a factor.

Well, that's something at least. Perhaps once she's tried it for longer she finds that she enjoys more regular quality time as well. Good luck waiting it out and dealing!
>>
>>17293116
Sounds like a hentai fetish.
>>
>>17293146
Clingy is the last thing I want to look like, you're right. That's why I'm holding these feelings in.
>>
>>17293148
That's a new one. I'm not into hentai at all but given how good they are with vore it would surprise me if they don't have food related stuff as well.
This shit's actually just up on youtube, pretty weird, I guess they don't care as long as there's no nudity.
>>
File: lgeoO9N.jpg (17 KB, 300x248) Image search: [Google]
lgeoO9N.jpg
17 KB, 300x248
Mostly for fellow girls but really anyone who has any idea can chime in please.
So lately I haven't been able to orgasm. Since a week or so. I didn't really change anything about my lifestyle or whatever that I'm aware of though? I take SSRIs in small dosage for my migraines and I know that can make everything sexual a bit tedious but that's nothing new, I've been taking them in the same dosage for months and haven't really had anything like that happen to me.
I'm not particularly stressed or worried about sex either, I'd say, if that matters at all. Cycle's going like clockwork, I'm too gay to get pregnant and I'm in my mid-twenties so I doubt it's some weird teen hormones thing either.
Any ideas appreciated, it's honestly pissing me off.
>>
>>17293164
Fetishes that don't even have explicit sexual content are always the best ones. I used to have a thing for watching videos of women shaving their hair off, which was also just all over youtube
>>
>>17293172
Ohh shit. That would piss me off to no end. Sadly all I can offer is that I couldn't get wet for a while, couldn't find anything online that could possibly apply, and after it going away on its own I concluded in hindsight that it was probably due to (non-sexual) stress. I have never heard of your particular issue spontaneously coming up... Do you edge? If not, I would give it a shot, there's no real theory behind it but it mixes things up a bit and I think that might make it easier, if you stray from your usual routine...
>>
>>17293172
There are pills that help with sex drive, one of them is like Welb- something. Talk to a doctor.
>>
>>17293183
That's really interesting, can you put into words why? Does it have to do with the extreme change in appearance or it being so radical (culturally)?

I really like the idea of shaving a man's face, something about the combination of the general intimacy of grooming someone and the trust that goes into letting someone hold a razor blade near your neck and face. Plus just stereotypically masculine, and the image of straddling someone while seated on the sink or something...
>>
>>17293197
That's the weird part, I get all hot and bothered in no time, and apparently get pretty 'close' (or so it feels anyway, you know that tingly feeling in your thighs?) but can't quite seem to go the last few inches so to say. Maddeningly frustrating.
I don't really edge, not on purpose I'd say? On good days I can orgasm rather quickly (meaning 10-15min for my first). I'll give it a try though, thanks.

>>17293204
That's it, my sex drive seems to be absolutely fine, just the practical exam giving me problems.
>>
>>17293226
Perhaps try to use the showerhead? If you are subconsciously adjusting your fingering (it could just be that by now you're wary of it not actually working), that could prevent that and make sure you get exactly the same stimulance.

But yeah that sounds really awful, the good news is that edging is pretty fucking amazing and once you have sorted this issue out you will have orgasms 2.0
Vaginas are no joke, if you edge for a solid time you can have drawn out orgasms that last up to a minute or so, it's absolute bliss.

I am inclined to say it is most likely a mental block that might be made worse because you start to dread running into it. But that's not based on any expertise, just my intuition/experience...
>>
>>17293207
It's almost like a cathartic release watch a woman shave off her long hair, like it brings about some kind of weird relaxing feeling of relief. It also usually brings out a feeling of nervous excitement in the woman shaving her hair off, which I like. I also like how permanent the change is, like once they start they can't go back on it.
>>
Hey everyone, I'm looking for some advice here on two different girls, but let me know if you need more information.

>Be me, 19-year old college student
>Never had much of a romantic life, would have maybe gotten my first girlfriend/kiss in high school but chickened out because she was kind of ugly by my friend's standards and I was scared. (Though we did talk to each other when we were horny, not a particularly fond memory though)
>Girls rejected me in middle school, wasn't sure if it was because I was ugly or black.
>Get to high school and end up liking one girl more than I ever have before
>We become pretty good friends after I gave her my number in a very awkward way
>End up asking her out twice over three years (with other girls I convinced myself I liked here and there, never asked them out though)
>Rationalize it by some bullshit like "I can't help who I like"
>Rejected every single time, but still remain great friends with her to this day
>End up not liking her anymore, time for college thots
>Feel great because I'll finally get all my firsts out of the way in college and won't feel as self-conscious or lonely
>Don't do anything at parties because I tell myself: I'm too awkward. I'm ugly. They'll be weirded out because I don't know how to dance. I can't.
>Notice Girl A is in two of my first semester classes
>Tell myself and high school friend girl that I'm going to talk to her and make a big deal out of it
>My only words to her before the last day of classes were "Sorry" whenever I thought I was in her way (It's almost a reflex for me to apologize to everyone, I don't know why I say it either.)
>Talk to her after our class ends and say "Hey, you're in my X class aren't you? I'm anon, nice to meet you. Did you want to study for finals together if you're not too busy?"
>Surprisingly she's down for it and I end up getting her number awkwardly after she asks if I want it
>We end up not being able to meet up because of communication problems (cont.)
>>
>>17293257
Thanks for the explanation, I think I can picture what you mean. For many women cutting their hair is also cathartic and helps seeing themselves in a different light (like after a break up).
>>
>>17293249
I've been using the showerhead since I was, uh, 13? Haha. But yeah I figured it's most likely some sort of mental thing but I can't think of anything that's been changed or that's particularly bothering me?
I mean yeah I'm single and whatnot but that's not a huge priority to me right now.
If that matters I don't even really finger myself (often), penetration doesn't do all that much for me personally.
Thanks for the help anyway Anon.
>>
>>17293278
Ah, not sure if it could really have the same effect then, I guess if you're used to softer stimulance it might have pushed you over the edge. I'd still try it, though, for the sake of being thorough. Yeah that's tricky but at least from what I know stress or anxiety or whatever can settle in your body before you even become aware of it. Not saying that this is the case but I wouldn't rule it out as a possibility because you're not aware of any possible reason.

I didn't necessarily mean inserting fingers, I never really understood whether fingering implies that you insert something or just that you use your fingers, guess that settles it.

You're welcome, wish I had a better suggestion...
>>
>>17293267
Yeah, for some reason most of my sexual interests tend to revolve around some kind of transformative process. I don't really know why though
>>
>>17293284
>transformative
My first association was bimbofication...

Trans people by any chance?
>>
>>17293281
Yeah I'm definitely on the softer side of things, rather sensitive clitorally and all that - which makes it all the weirder that I suddenly can't cum. I've heard from friends about orgasming problems and all that but I've never really had any so this is super frustrating.
I know stress is the usual reason for that kinda stuff but I really can't think of anything that's stressing me out, except, you know, not getting off.

And I'm not sure, but I always thought of fingering as actual insertion, as opposed to 'just' rubbing, but I'm not a native English speaker so I dunno.
>>
>>17293301
Yes but as you mentioned the issue is not that you have become desensitized. Which is good at least, although it makes it more mysterious. Something else that occurs to me though, is that if you don't already you should mimic all the bodily reactions - moan even if you normally don't, make sure your breaths are fast and shallow, tense your thigh muscles. Suggestion is everything (it also really helps to deliberately breathe slowly if you want to put off coming). If you are somewhat okay with meditation or you enjoy hypnosis (you can get tapes/audio files for relaxation hypnosis) those might be worth a shot to see if that an get you relaxed enough. Also perhaps getting tipsy beforehand?
I can absolutely imagine that. Sexuality is such a vital part of your physicality, it sucks to have an issue there.

Hah, I'm not a native either and used to have the same association, until it clicked a while back that when a girl says someone else fingered her I don't picture them shoving fingers inside of her per se. I guess both are possible interpretations.
>>
I was talking to this dude via an online dating app and skype and text. It's been like 3 weeks. He's gotten really clingy like asking to move in with me or me to move out of state with him, calling me repeatedly late at night, freaking out when I'm at work and don't text back for a few hours, etc. He keeps saying shit like don't leave. He is nice but I'm not into the clingy thing. I tried doing this slightly differently like telling him my work schedule but it didn't help. How do I tell him I don't want that in my life? I've never broken up or anything.
>>
>>17293329

You know... If you have never met the person you can just block them.. Right?
>>
>>17293267
For a lot of women frequent hair changes are a sign of low self esteem or a dramatic hair difference is a sign something is wrong.
>>
>>17293336
Not easy with my mobile provider. So he could still call/text. And I hate being a jerk as well...like shouldn't I say something?
>>
>>17293327
That's a good idea. I mean sexuality is so much in the head so deliberately trying to make the mood 'right' might work, I'll try.
Never tried any sort of hypnosis or something though, the only meditation I've ever done is this calming stuff after yoga and honestly even that always seemed a bit ridiculous to me. But I'm open to try everything really.
I've had a bottle of champagne tonight (not alone, don't worry!) but haven't really noticed any difference. But it helps with relaxing I guess, yeah.
Right? I'm not even a super sexual person, as in its not a priority to me mostly but it sucks being deprived.

Who knows. I figured fingering means penetration but I'm sure it can mean both. In German, I'd say 'fingern' almost always refers to penetration but now I'm not even sure about that anymore, haha.
>>
>>17293116
You would love my ex.
>>
>>17293297
Nah, more like /d/ tier demonic possessions and mind break stuff
>>
>>17293355

Well obviously you can put it nicely to him that you're not interested..

It's not nice, but he might as well learn it now. Especially if he's using dating apps. Hell, I've ghosted tons of girls on Tinder, and have taken my fair share of ghosting as well. It's how these things work. To be honest if you've only known the guy for three weeks and he's asking you to move in with you, it should raise a red flag.

I don't think I would have shown such a person the courtesy of an explanation to be honest.
>>
>>17292792
I don't lie but I only show guys things I think they would also like. I'm not into watching porn together often though because I can't explain why sometimes weird things ruin it for me. And I like guro. And impregnation. And stuff that might make a guy think I'm unstable.
>>
>>17293360
Hypnosis is in my experience really just a sort of guided meditation where it is easier to not get distracted because you can focus on a soothing voice saying relaxing things. I think the key part with both is the element of surrendering and really pausing the thought tracks in your head for a moment.
That's a shame, it seemed like a promising element to me. (Alcohol) I'll post more if I think of anything but this is all I can come up with now... at least it's some ideas to try and you get some bumps/visibility for the question. I hope you find something that works for you!!

Hey Germangal! I'm Dutch, we have vingeren but it's the same for me, I wouldn't dare to argue that it strongly implies either.
>>
>>17293000 here.

Can I get some more input, please? The other anon was incredibly helpful, but I'm curious as to what others think.
>>
I am a girl. When I was 9 I had no experience with sex and an old man showed me his penis online. He was ugly to me but that was my first experience with a penis and I'd started feeling horny a little bit and it was exciting. Between 9-16 I had so many old men interested in me sexually pursuing me and I had sexual relationships with some of them online. But it's only when I see them on a screen, when I see one in real life I don't feel any attraction. The thought of actual sexual contact nauseates me. I do not think they are handsome and I have no desire to be around them. I find men my age incredibly handsome. But it's the only thing I can get off to, on a screen. I find boys my age handsome and superior in every way and am trying to discover fetishes around them but it's so much harder to get off. This is starting to make me hate men because of how many of them are completely immoral and want kids, so I feel every man I am with must be a pervert. To be honest I want to kill myself over this. I would die before I told anyone. What would you do?
>>
>>17293383
There's hypnosis stuff on YouTube right? I just recently found out that hypnosis is even sexual to some people, I always put it down as 'magic trick'. But then again I guess everything is sexual to somebody.
Thanks for the answers so far all the same, I'm glad someone took the time at all!

Swissgal actually, but that's pretty close, haha. Language can be weird, in the same way "making out" seems to mean wildly varying things to people, to me it's kissing but apparently that can be anything from kissing to actual sex.
>>
>>17293407
Yes, I wouldn't dare to vouch for quality though so you might have to look through some things before finding something that actually relaxes you. Some people also really respond to ASMR videos (I think it's called, it's basically innocent noises like whispers that are inexplicably pleasant and calming to some people) so that could be worth a shot as well. And yeah, I know there's this audio piece called Jackpot by Isabella Valentine (I think is the name she goes by), that could be worth a shot as well. It freaked me out but I was high as a kite when listening to it and suddenly felt like she was trying to penetrate my mind. So you should probably not take that seriously as an objection. She claims to be able to give a hands free orgasm and from what I read online it works for plenty of people. It is fairly masculine focussed but most of the stuff she says is not particularly gendered (repeating words like glow and stuff if I remember this correctly) so it could be worth trying out. Most of her stuff is not free but at least a few years ago I was able to listen to this track for free as a sample.

Hypnosis is also a fetish to do to someone, I kind of like that myself but at least for me it's not so much about believing it works all the way as the weird thrill from playing along and both not knowing fully to what extent you're playing along, what might be actual heightened receptiveness of your mind, what's placebo etc. Not sure if this is the same for everyone.

Ahh, sorry, I always forget about that, with all the languages you've got going on there! Enjoy your absolutely superior nature. And seriously? I'd never heard that one before, seems coy...
>>
>>17293403
Also I feel so much anger toward them because I feel like they took away my sexuality, I don't think I would've developed this way if I'd been left alone to discover these things with my classmates. I also see how men pick younger women all the time, it's like youth is the only thing that matters to them, and it's caused me to ignore most movies (pedos or guys with teen or way younger girlfriends acting in every one). I see how rapists and pedos and guys who only value youth are celebrated. Dumping or cheating on your wife when she gets wrinkles is accepted among men. I hate like a quarter of men because they've shown themselves to be like this and am completely distrustful and hateful of the rest too (because I feel like they're just hiding it) and find human male nature to be immoral and disgusting. The hatred and being alone with this hatred is why I think of killing myself, it's like I'm no longer a part of society.

This has been fucking me up a bit.
>>
>>17293260 (cont.)
>Talk to her on/off for short bursts of time up until the Superb Owl
>She seems wishy/washy in responding but we do end up talking here and there
>Tell her I have to go because I'm drunk and didn't want to text her while drunk
>Rarely talk to her for the next few months. Read receipts everywhere plus she rushed a sorority
>Back off for a while because I know that rushing is a huge time consumer
>End of the year comes up, I feel like I wasted freshman year because I'm in the same place as I started socially. I didn't gain any romantic or sexual experience, and most of my work friends that I made that year are leaving at the end of the summer.
>If anything, I ended up more upset because my first roommate hated me for being depressed while drunk and accidentally walking in on him and his girlfriend while they were fucking multiple times
>Second roommate and I got along great, but I felt like the floor hated me because they loved my first roommate
>Later found out that half the floor didn't even know that there was a problem, and they didn't know about what happened in the beginning of the year (I got drunk at a party, went to another party and got trashed, and got obliterated at another party. Ended up coming back to the dorm and 1st roommate got me sent to the hospital because he thought I was dead)
>Anyway, in the middle of my rush of feeling depressed and like I wasted freshman year, I text girl A saying sorry for being annoying and saying that I'd been stressing all year because of my social issues
>Birthday comes around, but it's the actual last day of classes
>Get drunk as fuck with some good friends for one last hurrah for the year
>Feeling great, end up texting A
>No response for four days, but no read receipt until then either
>Text her a day later because I thought it was a game of cat and mouse that I could win/I actually forgot about her
>A month later I try to talk to her again, end of Girl A's story
(cont.)
>>
>>17293432
Duly noted, it's like 2:30am but I'm definitely giving that a try tomorrow, thanks a lot Anon. I can definitely see how someone with a calming voice could help though, listening to audio recordings is one of the few types of porn (if it can be called that) I enjoy so I can see that working.
But I've no experience whatsoever with hypnosis so we'll see.

Yeah I don't know. I suppose it's really rather subjective. ^^
>>
>>17293465
In case you don't know it already: /r/gonewildaudio is a whole subreddit with sexual audio scripts read out.

Best of luck, I hope it works!
>>
>>17293471
That's exactly where I find most of my stuff, haha. I've been thinking about posting there for the longest time but I always chicken out and, after I'm done, just feel like it'd just be silly and unsexy.
>>
>>17293476
Neat! I'd just record it privately to see if you enjoy the process of actively making one without anyone else being involved if you aren't satisfied with the experience or the result. Plus bonus exotic accent for playing out scenarios!
>>
>get messaged by girl
>really don't have an interest in her
>would feel that ignoring is just too rude, it's happened to me numerous times

What is the best solution here?
>>
>>17291228
You have no father, do you?
>>
>>17293481
I've done that, fulfilling scripts and just doing my thing (and feeling good about it too) but then afterwards when I play it back to me, it always seems weird or ridiculous and I just delete it. Dunno, I guess it's nervousness mostly.
>>
>>17293260 >>17293447 (cont.)
>Try to ask a girl out in my class but do it without talking to her beforehand, like Girl A
>Didn't go well at all, think I creeped her out a little bit
>Freshman year ultimately ends in a failure, culminating with my apology to Girl A as stated earlier
>Summer classes start up, have class with Girl B, a really attractive girl in my major
>Small class, so it's easier to talk to people
>Everyone beelines for their cars after class
>I end up tripping over my words when speaking in class, but I manage to make more jokes as I feel more comfortable with everyone
>Make eye contact with her repeatedly during a group discussion, not sure if she caught me looking at her or I caught her looking at me
>We get paired for the first time during one project this past week
>Make little conversation here and there, but I don't say much because I'm terrified of looking stupid
>2 weeks left before the class is over

So my questions are:
>Girl A - Where did I fuck up with her? What is wrong with me? She still makes it a point to talk to me on occasion, but I just don't get her. It's not even a crush anymore, I just want to get to know her. I'm desperate for more friends.
>Girl B - How do I talk to this girl more? I want to get her number so I can talk to her more because she's a genuinely interesting person on top of being attractive.
>Me: How can I stop being so awkward? I feel fucking retarded at times. Sure, fake it until you make it, but that's for confidence, which I also need. I want to stop feeling so terrible about myself, but I can't do that until I stop acting like myself.

I'm terribly sorry about the long-winded question, everyone, but I could really use some advice. I don't want to bother my friends with it, since it's the same old shit again. Anon has insecurities and doesn't know how to handle them. No one wants to hear that again.
>>
>>17293501
Ah well, no one likes to hear their own voice recorded. If you enjoy it while it lasts that's good in itself, and there's no saying there won't be a moment where you do feel good about sharing the end result.
>>
>started talking again with a girl who burned me a couple of weeks earlier
>she waits for me 15 minutes before meet up time for coffee
>I lean in slowly into her field of vision as she's completely zoned out
>she's clearly showcasing anxiety
>accidentally chucks an almost empty coffee cup at me
>"it's ok I can take the abuse" I say jokingly
>embarrassed she starts tearing apart the paper hand protector for her cup and starts looking downwards from me and not making eye contact

What the hell is going on?
>>
>>17293492

Just ask what she's looking for. It makes you look blunt as hell, but it works.
>>
>>17293513
she has no desire to be around you whatsoever. i'm not sure how you could fail to interpret this.
>>
>>17291580
Are you 6'1" if so you have my frame/body type
>>
>>17291200
Girls:

>Not asking you to read her mind
>Asking if you think I was too up front


>Be me
>Recently got out of LTR
>Trying to keep mind off it
>Go on bumble
>Couple weeks in. Getting better at chatting

Enter Last week
>Match with cute girl
>Talk
>Takes her a while to respond (couple days at worst, couple hours at best)
>becomes more receptive the more we chat
>Her profile says she likes hiking
>I like hiking
>Ask her "Hey femanon, you gone hiking yet this summer?"
>She responds "No, but I want to!"
>"My friends and I are going hiking next weekend. Would you be interested in joining?"

>No response. Been 2 days

So that leaves me with two questions:

1) Was the event I invited her to a bad start off event?

3) Given her relaxed response time in the past, should I wait to respond, or should I just ask her if she's uncomfortable going?
>>
File: that feel fool.jpg (107 KB, 646x774) Image search: [Google]
that feel fool.jpg
107 KB, 646x774
>>17291200
Several Specific question to white girls. Really TL;DR

I really do feel so lame for admitting this but i have nobody to ask this shit to. I'm a Latino / Mexican and i have a weird thing, like a white fetish. I like to compliment white girls racially, especially blue eyes. Im getting into the dating game at 24 and have im finding out i have a slight inferiority complex around white people. If im hitting on a white girl i have to start off with either some banter or a playful insult because i get better responses then if i just go in there with a flirt because i get too lovey dove. I get into these moments where she looks and slightly moves side-to-side interested but she's giving me nothing to work with and i gotta think on the spot but idk wtf to say so on my feet i just go with things that honestly make me attracted to her. I'd say something like
"You're really light, you dont see that alot in California. Real cute."
"Oh wow, you're blonde, blue and beautiful, real Aryan looking"
or i'd ask what nationality she, if she goes "Uhhh im white haha" i'd inquire and make a far fetch bs assumption based on hair color, eye color and sharp features and guess she was Northern European or Nordic or Aryan.

Again i feel so fucking gay.. Iv had mix results but almost all girls i do this shit to get a little flattered, i think. Iv even had 1 girl who would playfully do racail stuff like touch my arm for the fucking color contrast or make "white" banter with me. I just wanna ask, do i come across as weird by using these openers? Does it offended you?

Another thing also is during sex i like to make racial banter, i like saying lame shit like "you're so fucking pale" "take that Latino dick you fucking white angel bitch" and "you're such a good Aryan whore". Not that im getting laid every week but the few girls i do this do i cant really tell how how they feel about me saying this racial shit. I dont know how it makes them feel. I really dont know how i come off
>>
>>17293513
>>"it's ok I can take the abuse" I say jokingly
>>embarrassed she starts tearing apart the paper hand protector for her cup and starts looking downwards from me and not making eye contact
Nigga how did you not realize how badly you fucked up
>>
>>17293645
>Didnt mean to reply to the OP my bad
being sorry for something so simple. Get your sorry ass out of here
>>
>>17293682
I never said that tho :^)
>>
>making out with this girl
>stop
>look at her
>she looks away
>''don't look me''

She did it a couple of times. What does this mean?
>>
>>17293862
She wants to make out but not fall in love
>>
I'm gonna be having sex with this guy soon and he's not a virgin while I am. How do I not make it a terrible experience? I don't want to lay there like a dead fish and only feel pain down there.
>>
>>17293878
don't worry about it just be enthusiastic about his penis inside you and he'll want to marry you
>>
>>17291200
Should I just fuck a prostitute/escort when I'm fat? There doesn't seem to be a point in joining the dating market like this.
>inb4 lose weight
Just fuck off already.
>>
>>17293901
Fuck off land whale.
Lose weigh, gain respect.
Shut your mouth, gain self-worth.
>>
>>17293925
>land whale
Far from it.
I already adressed the rest of this.
>>
>>17293927
Nobody cares what you already addressed becuase nobody listens to fat people or cares what they think.
>>
>>17293878
The more youve played with yourself the less itll hurt
Relax
Hope youre doing it with someone you care about and not some random because its really important to communicate
>>
>>17293931
Edgy, how is 5th grade going?
>>
Girl sends me lots of face pics, which is great because she's really quite cute with beautiful eyes, but she covers half her face almost every time

Why, what's happening
>>
>>17294036
Narcissist
>>
>>17294047
How so? Wouldn't a narcissist show her whole face? Or do you think she's trying to keep me intrigued?
>>
>>17294036
She likes the parts of her face showing, or not the one she is hiding
>>
>>17292792
my past gfs had only really asked if I watched porn, never what kind of porn I watched. my tastes are pretty vanilla so it wouldn't be a risky question
>>17293878
lube and foreplay
>>
I'm a male, but advice from either gender would be nice.

I've lived with my male roomate for a very long time (we get along great), and my female roomate is fairly new (joined us 2 weeks ago). Today me and her were watching a movie and she kept making comments through it that I disagreed with, so I voiced my own opinions on her comments, and she started to become aggrevated. She told me that "I'm not as smart as I think I am," and that "it is exhausting" to argue with me, and the fact that I am annoying her, and that I dont need to "keep disagreeing with everything she says and to learn some manners."

These weren't even big things like politics. At one point it was her saying that she thought a character in the movie was a bad mother, and I said that I thought that she was just doing what she had to do.

Is this not a common way of interacting with people? If I disagree with someone's statement, I will give my opinions. And if someone else disagrees with mine, I'm happy to hear their arguments. I have to live here for anoter ~2 months, so idc if she likes me or not, I just feel like this interaction was really weird. Any thoughts?
>>
>>17294677
Some people can't accept criticism and just want people to agree with them.
Ignore her.
>>
Hey girls. Want to get a girlfriend, would really help me out. Thing is I can't get any girls that are actually serious and like me as well.
I don't know what to do or say or anything at all.

As a female, what do you think a guy should do to get a girl.
>>
>>17294781
be older than 18.
>>
>>17294784
Ok I am older than 18, that didn't help at all. I guess I won't get any help from here.
Thanks.
>>
File: 1466576060988.jpg (15 KB, 236x322) Image search: [Google]
1466576060988.jpg
15 KB, 236x322
>be out with a woman, walking side-by-side
>something scares her/you get surprised by someone/etc.
>she screams and grabs your good arm, holding onto it with a fucking deathgrip

Why do women do this? Why not bolt off and leave me to deal with whatever scared you? Why not make it two-on-one? Why not get behind me and use me as a meatshield?

This behavior has always confused me. My sisters do it, every girl I've dated does it, and my female friends all seem to do it. It makes no goddamned sense to impede my movement and the use of my arms if you honestly feel threatened. It's even worse when they do the full-body bear hug and just pin both arms to your sides. Bitch, I can't punch anybody like this.

Is it like hugging a teddy bear or something?
>>
>>17291281
You think you can't change?
>>
>>17294872
I guess it's natural instinct to grab onto something familiar when you get a fright. Have you not seen those haunted house pictures or something? Men do it too, pic related
>>
My ex-boyfriend wants to know why I broke up with him, honestly.
I don't want to be honest, because I realise I had a jaded view of him during the relationship, and after a few days have passed I am basically over him. I don't like him anymore, and I just don't want him to be upset over me.
He still wants to be friends, but I really don't because I am almost certain he will try to manipulate me back in to a relationship.

What can I say?
>>
>>17294897
Crazy, I come back to this thread a day later to find someone replied minutes ago. Anyway, I've been trying for years without success. I feel bad if I'm ever assertive towards anyone.
>>
>>17294922
Just ignore him
>>
As a M and asking both:

(Part1/2)

I (Gordon) have a male friend (Barney) which I like to spend time with. If we randomly get to know new females and if he is interested in one of them, then he starts to act weird/rude/uncared towards me or somehow his behavior is related to this.
It wouldn't bother me if he wants to flirt, but the fact his behavior changed in such a way that it is "against me" or that he "uses" me to impress a girl is driving me nuts.
I already talked about that and he started to cry in front of. I told he don't need to, the friendship will not end because of this, but I will change my interaction with him, if it doesn't stop.
Those situations have ended/got very rarely, but it seems he avoids to have me around if he's flirting, so he doesn't need to change his behavior/my problem with this.

Now something changed and it involves a woman (Lisa) I had a crush around a year before now, which we (me and Barney) haven't seen for a long time. There were many "hints" or little actions which seems strange:
*Barney invited Lisa to his place and asked me too, but told me later, Lisa doesn't know I would come too. Asking him why he hasn't told her and didn't got an answer.
*Tried to tell Barney that it might get weird for me to see Lisa more often and only got the response "he can understand me", but we never really talked about my thoughts/feelings for her.
*Asked him if he is interested in her. Got a straight "no". But he acted on both last meetups the way as I know him when he flirts.
*We were out drinking and Barney started acting "weird" again. This means it wasn't about 3 of us having fun together, but it varied. Sometimes he cuts my voice, sometimes he initiated an activity without asking for my thoughts about it, sometimes it seemed to me he wasn't interested about me being there. Most parts were pretty okay, but only a few times at those meetups it seems like it was about us together.
>>
>>17294965

(Part2/2)

I don't know if it is useful to list more points, maybe it is already clear enough in which directions my points of critic will go.

I'm asking, if I'm over thinking this. I don't know how to react, because I already talked about the same topic with him already and I don't know if he even knows what and how he is acting and what it may cause.
I don't know if I'm now just so confused because I see Lisa with my good friend and if I just don't want to see them as a pair.
I'm feeling so strange. My friend can't talk to me in a honest way or doesn't want to. I know he doesn't have to tell and all details, but at the same time it seems we are so far apart, that he doesn't even consider how this will affect me.
At the same time he acts rude/strange towards me, although we both know Lisa and he doesn't have to impress her in that way. The fact we already talked about this makes me even more confused how to react to this. Talk again about this? Should I just shut up and wish them luck? Is this acting "normal" for a friend?

How to handle this /adv/? What should I consider to think about, what should I avoid? Has someone tips or advise for me? Was someone in a similar situation, how did you acted, what happened and what would you do different?
>>
>>17294965
>>17294982
TL;DR
>>
Is the a right way to offer support to someone who is depressed?

I don't know how to tell someone I am available to listen if they need to talk without sounding like a weirdo or like I'm fishing for a date.
>>
>>17293434

I really don't know the exact answer but no one else has answered and you seem pretty distressed.

It seems like you should speak to someone, perhaps a therapist. You haven't had a normal introduction to sex and what those guys did was wrong. I understand that you don't trust men, but if there was one thing us guys agree on it's that anything sexual with girls of the age you were is absolutely out of the question. Society hates nothing more than someone who wants to abuse the innocence of a child.

Also please do not kill yourself. I know what it's like not to want to live. I don't have an answer for that either, yet, but I know the answer isn't suicide.

To reiterate; speak to an expert. Good luck, and I hope things work out.
Thread replies: 255
Thread images: 18

banner
banner
[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Home]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content you can contact me at [email protected] with that post and thread number and it will be removed as soon as possible.
DMCA Content Takedown via dmca.com
All images are hosted on imgur.com, send takedown notices to them.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from them. If you need IP information for a Poster - you need to contact them. This website shows only archived content.