i need some support guys.
let me explain my situation.
i am a fat incel robot currently in my last year of school, meaning that i'm 18, while several of my classmates are around 17 or 18 as well.
i have a female friend and we're really close, matter fact i spent a year of my life pathetically in love with her, but i've since moved on and now we're really good friends.
she is currently still 17 years old, which is important to the situation.
we went out one night, and she had sex with a bartender in his car at a party in an abandoned house.
the bartender was easily 25-30 years old.
i don't know why it bothers me this much, i guess it just reminded me of the superiority of chad dick and the loss of innocence in young girls.
it really messed me up, she was a virgin before this and not the type of girl who would hook up with anyone.
i just can't deal with women's hyperactive sexuality and i feel like i'd never get a chance with a girl like her if they're all going after fuckin 30 year old australian druggie bartenders
what do you think?
should i chill out and let her live her life or should i be concerned and try and stop her from becoming a slut?
Get /fit/
>>17252060
>should i chill out and let her live her life or should i be concerned and try and stop her from becoming a slut?
lol you're not gonna accomplish anything
why would anyone take advice from a self-admittedly fat incel robot? you're the lowest form of life possible.
Who she sleeps with is none of your business. If you can't handle the fact that other people aren't pathetic losers like you, then maybe you shouldn't hang out with those people
>>17252060
I get it, OP, but you're mad at yourself, not her.
And you know it.
>>17252067
i thought /adv/ was supposed to be nice
You're basically like a fat little brother to her (even if you're technically older than she is). She won't care about whatever you have to say.
Yeah, try figuring out how to satisfy your own sexual desires be for you try to "fix" someone who is doing what they/you want to do.
>>17252081
you're right, i am mad at my inability to get girls, and i'm scared at the massive amount of advantage these bartender types have over me.
it's just a fear of having to enter a world of sexual maturity
>>17252073
should i just abstain from talking to my friends?
is this just the fate of a social retard like me?
>>17252082
you are not having a problem
you're bitching about some girl you wanted for yourself fucked someone else
we'd be nice if you were a sympathetic poster
>>17252060
>she was a virgin before this and not the type of girl who would hook up with anyone
You had a very naive (and very wrong) impression of her. Either you didn't know her as well as you thought, or you're still crushing from the sidelines.
>>17252087
Just the way it goes man. Senior dudes are fucking freshman girls when you're a freshman, senior girls are fucking college dudes when you're a senior, hot mid twenty somethings are dating/marrying established dudes in their early/mid 30s.
Just wait your turn. There will come a time when you're the "older guy" that young girls flock to.
>>17252087
Then give yourself an advantage. Work out, learn to bartend, become talented at something. You can't change others or the world, you can change yourself. Bitching about others and the world is a waste of air, the only thing you have control of is what you do.
>>17252092
i'm not interested in this girl romantically, it's just more friendly concern.
>>17252099
i know her extremely well and i know that she's been in 'serious' relationships for most of the past 3 years, and she tells me about this kind of shit, so i don't think i'm misjudging her.
>>17252060
Sometimes I wonder how many guys I meet on a day to day basis are jealous, bitter 'incels' like you.
>>17252112
most non-chads i'd say
>>17252109
And you think she never slept with her boyfriend?
You are so young.
>>17252119
I feel like Chads aren't a discrete group. 'Alpha-beta' is a spectrum
>>17252109
So in your mind: it's far more likely that she gave up her virginity just now to some dude in a random backseat hookup as opposed to any of her boyfriends over the last several years? Is that what you're saying?
>>17252133
>>17252137
Duh. She's OP's pure virginal waifu who one night decided to slut it up, giving him a reason to be mad and an outlet to air his frustrations.
>>17252137
>>17252133
yes, her one serious boyfriend was a virgin, and she told me she never did anything serious with him because he wasn't ready, the bartender hookup came a couple days after they broke up
> inb4 she didn't tell you about her fucking her boyfriend because she didn't want you to have a shitfit
she told me everything and they didn't fuck
>>17252109
This is gonna be good...
About how many "serious" relationships are you aware of?
>>17252092
Here is a better idea and a life lesson for you.
Being mean in general is unacceptable period no matter the circumstances. Now yes being mean can be a subjective thing but you know what i'm talking about. The kind of mean where just about anybody can say "well thats mean" when they look at it and analyze the situation.
Tell me where being mean is the absolute best answer possible and I will tell you something you could have done instead.
>>17252106
I also disagree with this. You can change others in the world around you. If it were more socially acceptable for people to be more blunt and help each other out with problems this world would be way better. Alot of people just don't have the humility to accept correction and its a damn shame because they instead get mad instead of taking advice that could have made their life way better.
>>17252060
>what do you think?
If you were propositioned by a very sexy Australian female bartender with an exquisite rack and made you laugh and feel good about yourself, would you turn her down? Would you feel an existential crisis for yourself and your "virtue"? Would your friends and family judge you harshly and act like this one decision is going to make or break who you are in the future, and influence all future decisions? How would you address the situation of your one night stand with a temporary, pleasant individual?
>>17252173
>Being mean in general is unacceptable period no matter the circumstances
I disagree, I think being mean to contemptible people is fine.
>>17252159
>yes, her one serious boyfriend was a virgin, and she told me she never did anything serious with him because he wasn't ready, the bartender hookup came a couple days after they broke up
Yes, that is disgusting.
>>17252180
Then why don't you go neck yourself
>>17252178
interesting point.
i guess this problem stems from my feelings of inadequacy and inability to become sexually active, like these people seem to do effortlessly.
also, it's a fear of loss of innocence. we're all pretty young and it scares me that older men can just come and fuck my friends.
you understand, right?
>>17252192
See? You agree too. Don't pretend to be better than you are.
>>17252178
>If you were propositioned by a very sexy Australian female bartender with an exquisite rack and made you laugh and feel good about yourself, would you turn her down?
Does this even happen? I know the reverse happens to every woman who's a 6/10 or above, but what guys does this ever happen to where some gorgeous woman hands herself to you on a silver platter without him initiating or doing any real work?
>>17252133
>>17252150
This.
Opie, you severely underestimate how trashy and impulsive highschool and middleschool girls are. You'd know if you interacted with them on a daily basis when it's one-to-one girl talk. It's seriously kind of sick, the stuff you hear. But this is good. It's nice to stop being blind to these things, but don't get completely cynical. If they want to destroy their lives, let them. There's plenty of girls that aren't thrill-seekers, like me, and if there's one thing I've learned is that you can't really change these girls.
>>17252214
you sort of type like a dude.
>>17252210
>but what guys does this ever happen to where some gorgeous woman hands herself to you on a silver platter without him initiating or doing any real work?
depends on what you call gorgeous but i've had 7s do that. they usually have some psychological baggage, but i'm not mentally stable either so i can't complain. it's usually like a once a year type of thing though
>>17252159
>boyfriend was a virgin, and she told me she never did anything serious with him because he wasn't ready
Her sexual relationship with one person does not define or determine the outcome of her sexual relationships with other people. It doesn't really matter that she and her boyfriend didn't have sex (though consider the fact she may have kept the truth from you to protect your feelings, and just because there was no sex, doesn't mean there wasn't plenty of other sexual activities). Where her sexual relationship with her ex-boyfriend is concerned, it sounds like she was a good person that respected her boyfriend's sexual boundaries. And maybe she had been ready to have sex for a long time, but did not have the opportunity to do so because she was respecting her boyfriend.
So they broke up, and she had sex. The thing that makes you a shitty person, OP, is that you don't sound concerned about your friend (inb4 of course I am!). You sound concerned about her virtue, her reputation, and other shit. You don't sound concerned about her. If someone I was close to broke up from a 3 year relationship and had sex within three days (and had minimal to moderate experience beforehand), I would be asking how they were feeling. If they are okay with the decision and used it to push forward, or if they don't feel good about it because they felt pressured, depressed, or not ready. She could be feeling either, and you're talking about her virginity and sexual exploration in relation to YOU and how YOU interact with it. Not how she is feeling, reacting, or looking at her situation. You are not sympathizing or being a friend, you are holding judgment and anger against her based on how this all affects you. You need to think long and hard about why you're acting like this, and whether a good friend would truly act like you are or not.
>>17252220
Okay?
>>17252214
>If they want to destroy their lives, let them.
Seriously though, how many girls do you meet who have literally 'ruined their lives' because they had fun when they're younger?
>There's plenty of girls that aren't thrill-seekers, like me
>Let me validate myself by pointing out that I'm better than these whores
>>17252060
she's a dumb whore and not your pure friend, get over it. let her destroy her life or fix it
>>17252222
It happens with me, but like you said, it's always readily apparent within minutes that I've encountered "yet another woman with issues."
Something about my more passive disposition attracts them like flies. Certainly never had the bartender present that openly though. Flirt, but that's about it.
>>17252226
Both of my sisters, plenty of old high school friends, and almost every female 4chan personality.
>>17252236
What, so they're all alone, broke with no job, living in a ditch somewhere, if not dead?
>>17252223
good point
what concerned me most was the unstable emotional state she was in after her breakup
but you're right, this isn't about me and i'm glad i kept this to myself and never told her off for fucking a bartender.
>>17252060
you can admit to yourself that if you were Chad youd be slayin' bitches left and right too right?
>>17252240
One sister is addicted to heroin, the other one peddles money off of her boytoys for other drugs, constantly, and is currently in allegedly abusive relationship. They used to smoke plenty of weed in their teenage years, which is probably how they ended up that way, apart from bad parenting, that is.
As for the friends, a good chunk of them already have kids at 22, and are struggling to see ends meet, one of which has been jumping around from boyfriend to boyfriend with her two kids from the initial highschool sweetheart. Drug use is also rampant, and it's a bit sad to see their antics on facebook, like they're still highschoolers. It makes me sad for the babies.
As for the 4chan personalities, suicide is pretty common, not to mention drug addiction. There's pages dedicated to them on ED, if you want to look at them. It's pretty interesting.
Who knows. Maybe I'm just a magnet for bad luck.
>>17252258
it just sounds like you're from a poor area.
>>17252258
And you're suggesting that these things have conclusively come about as a result of them 'slutting it up' when they're younger?
>>17252249
I'm told regularly that with my looks I should be an absolute manwhore and my coworkers regularly talk about friends who have expressed interest in me.
But I'm socially retarded so I have no real sensitivity to people's advances and don't really know how to capitalize on the opportunities. Plus, I'm a romantic. Just want one girl. Have felt empty after every casual encounter I've ever had.
Would have to be Chad in thinking as well to behave that way and I cannot even begin to relate to seeing the world that way.
>>17252210
>Does this even happen? I know the reverse happens to every woman who's a 6/10 or above
Oh my god, shut up. Are you really trying to redpill a hypothetical when the point of asking the question was solely to get OP to look at his standards and motives? Are you really that retarded? Do you answer "How are you today?" with a 30 minute expose on your life starting at age 3 when your mom did that thing, up until age 21 when she still wouldn't let it go, and spend another 20 minutes blabbing about your inner self? Shut up.
>>17252263
So you're not a Chad and that post has nothing to do with you?
>>17252261
Considering all of them were very, very promiscuous, I'd say that they at least correlated. The most successful ones, with the happiest lives tended to be the bookworms and more reclusive academics, like my asexual friend who's working in Caltech as a systems engineer.
>>17252260
I'm from Irvine, CA. It's alright.
>>17252273
>I'd say that they at least correlated.
If you've ever taken a statistics class, you'd know that this basically means nothing unless you can prove that one causes the other.
>>17252263
have you ever been in a long term relationship? if it doesnt work out and it turns out youve wasted a good many years, youre gonna wanna fuck everything you see before youre too old to be desirable. youre 20's only last 10 yrs
>>17252273
>Irvine, CA
>12.2% of the population living below the federal poverty line.
maybe you should move a couple blocks
>>17252279
I'm 30. Been in 4 serious relationships in my twenties. Have given into the "just wanna hook up" urge a few times and honestly wasn't a fan. Curse of being an INFJ I guess.
>>17252263
OP, you started out with a shitty stance on your friend's situation and have genuinely listened to the advice and thoughts from others and considered your situation in light of new information. You are light years ahead of most people when it comes to considering your feelings and applying what you've learned. You're doing just fine, and I hope you do find that one girl that makes it worthwhile. All I can say is work on being open and kind. You want to attract a good person, then being open and kind can help. If not, you'll feel good about treating other people well, and you should be open and kind to yourself as well. You'll get there, but it can be frustrating waiting. Good luck in everything.
>>17252290
that wasn't me, friendo
but thanks for the kind words
>>17252277
People with bad decision making skills leading worse lives isn't something that requires a grant-funded, peer-reviewed study. But if you want to be coy and tedious about this, alright.
>>17252280
Just as a reference, I lived in the upper middle class sections, and I went to UHS, which is pretty damn good high school on par with Lynbrook and other Orange county schools. Irvine is quite rich in various areas.
>>17252197
I do understand. It's not unreasonable to feel that way, but it can be disrespectful if you take it out on your friend (which you didn't, which is good). Projecting personal problems onto others isn't cool. And growing up is fucking scary. I can guarantee your friend isn't feeling like her sexuality is effortless, though. She is probably feeling a myriad of emotions. And wanting to make sure she's not being taken advantage of is legitimate, but judgment doesn't really benefit either you or her. It happened. If you're concerned, then show you care by checking in on her to see how she is. Let her talk.
But yes, I do understand.
>>17252265
What the fuck are you even on about? Untwist your panties and simmer the fuck down. Your hypothetical was stupid because it's an unrelatable scenario. Of course he's bitter about his friend because scenarios like the one you posed don't fucking happen. That's like the entire point for OP being buttravaged. You're not proving a point, you're just restating the very disparity that is the basis for this whole thread.
>>17252296
Then why were you answering questions addressed to OP? This thread isn't about you or your problems, but since you're the negative nancy who thinks everyone is awful because they had "fun" when they were young, why interject yourself that much into someone else's thread?
I'm confused, whatever.
>>17252315
Go read OP's response to it. >>17252197
Do all hypotheticals make you so angry, or just the ones where you're not getting laid? Or can't you genuinely reflect on your emotions and emotional position without thinking of your oppression?
>>17252269
And if someone's not a Chad and is clearly unable to step into Chad shoes in their actual real life interactions with women, do you really think they're going to be any better at it when you ask them to do so here?
>>17252332
OP is a 17 year old virgin. Of course he thinks it's interesting. He doesn't fucking know better. Really reliable resource on the viability of a hypothetical sexual scenario, genius. Btw, I don't see any tidal wave of dudes replying with all their tales about the regularity of receiving such propositions. It's an apples to oranges comparison. The girl fucked some bartender in a car because she's distraught after a breakup, and you're asking someone to understand because in the magical scenario where a gorgeous woman does all the work for a dude, he would jump at the opportunity.
So again, what exactly were you even trying to say?
>>17252365
What are YOU trying to say? You are being literal to the point of retardation. I was using a hypothetical to get an honest reaction. Sometimes when you ask questions directly, people get defensive or aren't truthful with themselves. OP himself has admitted that he was angry about things changing and his own frustrating situation, and he was projecting that onto his friend's situation under the guise of caring about her. He does care about her, but this was personal issues he wasn't comfortable dealing with (or personal issues prompted by the other person's situation). You are trying to tell him he needs to go out and hate society, and to not look at why he is responding to his friend's situation the way he is (because she doesn't matter and he doesn't matter and his feelings don't matter but what does matter is that society hates men like him). That's... healthy.
My hypothetical was asking him to imagine a situation that basically reversed their positions, and you're foaming at the mouth because women never hit on men or something? Shut up. We were all having a nice conversation about Point A, B, and C, and you're running in with something completely unrelated with Point X, Y, and Z because you want OP to recognize that he's the victim here, and he needs to foster his victim complex, and he's hopeless (because women will never approach you), and that he needs to be hateful and skeptical as an answer, and that OP is really reacting to his oppression, and everything his friend did is the direct result of oppression and how OP is just so oppressed. So, again, shut up. You are the opposite end of the SJW spectrum, and you sound like a self-victimizing retard that can't even have a conversation or analyze situations outside of your victimhood.
Processing emotions in a healthy way would benefit your life. Listening to other's opinions and considering if they are applicable and good advice or not would benefit your life. Being respectful to friends, too.
>>17252060
>female friend
Fuck off orbiter. Drop her, let her be a whore and go find yourself an actual pure girl.
Fuck sakes, this is why you're an incel.You fucking dwell so much on one particular girl's actions instead of leaving when you know she isn't for you anymore. So what if she wants to be a slut? Let her make her own damn decisions, she isn't a virgin anymore anyway, so what difference does it make to you if she takes 2 or 200 dicks? Some poor beta bitch will still marry her and give her children.
You aren't "saving" her, you're making a fool of yourself. I hate sluts just as much as you do, but shit nigger, cut your losses. There are pure women out there, you're dwelling too much on the whores and not trying to look for good girls (and they're out there), putting you into this "all hope is lost" mood, consequently shooting yourself in the foot in moving forward.
The best statement you can make is to fuck off from her and not bother with her anymore. Her lifestyle isn't inline with yours, so don't waste your time.
>>17252440
You think this is about some misogynistic /r9k/ shit. No, but thank you for trying to tell me what I'm saying. You are the only one here trying to assign victimhood to people while you play the world's most incompetent amateur psychologist with your embarrassing stabs in the dark at some deep seated woman-hating or whatever that doesn't exist. I'm simply taking issue with you essentially accusing the OP of hypocrisy which is exactly what you're doing when you attempt to convince him that "hey, if you were in a similar scenario, you'd do the same." Sure, a lot of his OP's issue is insecurity over his own lack of experience, but from what he's saying a whole lot of it is from a totally reasonable disappointment with his friend for debasing herself like that. And yes, going to cars with strangers to have sex with them is stupid for absolutely anyone for myriad reasons. I mean he totally says in the first post that he didn't think she was the type to do that kinda shit. It's not like he's losing his shit because the girl had sex with her bf or something; she's a high schooler fucking grown strange men in their cars. By all indications she's engaging in flippant sex to drown her sorrows. That's not normal or healthy behavior and it's understandable to be somewhat disappointed in someone for that. That was just as much a part of OP's post as his sentiments of insecurity.Yet from like the first post pretty much all anyone focused on was "lol bitter virgin. mad cuz you can't get some. if you could you would," when half of what he's saying is that he really doesn't agree with behaving in such a way (if he did, he'd be Chad already fucking freshman). Sorry I don't get my kicks out of trying to convince myself of my own rightness by telling teenagers that the world works in a way that it does't.
But that's my fault. I should have known not to bother with someone who throws fucking hissy fits over someone questioning the validity of their precious posts. Moving on.
>>17253064
>totally reasonable disappointment with his friend for debasing herself like that
sounds like some misogynistic /r9k/ shit tbqfh
>>17252134
Just like autism XD
