If you have to rub your clit in order to feel pleasure then what's the point of having sex with someone? You can just stay home and masturbate?
Also people describe orgasms as blissful things but they're just relaxing for me.
Maybe I'm missing something here
Judging from that first sentence you're either not female, or you've never had sex and you just completely don't understand anatomy.
That's the problem with your generation.
Sex is just all physical with you people.
You see all this porn and sexualized media, and all you see is the physical aspect of it all. You see some denial based reward system designed to lure in pubescent children and maintain their attention.
It's no wonder you find sex boring.
>>17219609
I'm female. If someone has sex with me I don't get any pleasure from the fucking, I have to rub my clit while they fuck me, so the whole thing seems pointless
>>17219623
Enlighten me, please?
>>17219625
Then either your vagina doesn't work properly or you keep having sex with the worst partners.
>>17219636
I guess my vagina doesn't work properly.
>>17219638
Your vagina works properly. A lot of women can't orgasm from penetration alone. Can you come if you recieve oral?
>>17219650
I don't like oral
>>17219638
Your vagina works properly sister I've never had an orgasm that wasn't clitoral either, and always by masturbation. When my bf touches me it feels ok but nowhere near an orgasm like when I'm alone touching myself to my fantasies. I love him for his personality though, that's why he's my bf.
>>17219623
Go fuck yourself, faggot
>>17219655
Self-centered: The Post
>>17219629
I think the best place to start would be with some questions.
>Age
>Casual or Relationship
>Experience
>Masturbation frequency
>Relationship health ( if applicable)
>>17219663
My, aren't you a helpful one. How adorable.
Would you like to help people too someday. little fella?
>>17219654
Ok, so you only like rubbing yourself, and you can't connect with men at all. Then rub yourself and be happy with it.
>>17219673
>23
>casual
>I've been having sex with FWBs for 2 years, many of them were very experienced older guys
>I used to masturbate a lot (2 or 3 times a day as a teenager), then cut back to once a day, and now it's a weekly ting, I've had months of no masturbation at all as well
>>17219673
You're not going to convert her to suck your dick.
>>17219674
But I'm not happy with it, I want to have the kind of orgasms that other women have
OP is damaged goods
Consult a sex therapist
>>17219681
A lot of other women can't come from penetration. They either rub themselves or come from oral.
Why don't you like oral?
The clit, the pussy, even the anus are erogenous. Fuck, even the armpit is erogenous.
However, different people feel more or less pleasure on different areas of the body. You feel more on the clit than on the vag? That's fine.
Now, for the advice itself... it's all about
a. finding nice sex positions where the guy rubs your clit with his body while fucking;
b. good preliminary play;
c. happy schlicking time.
>>17219686
If all they enjoy is rubbing themselves then why don't they just masturbate instead of look for sex?
I don't enjoy oral
>>17219678
Have you been in a committed relationship before?
>>17219679
Not everybody is you, thankfully.
>>17219689
>You feel more on the clit than on the vag?
I feel NOTHING on the vag.
Why do I need the guy to rub my clit when I can do it myself he's not necessary
Guys can suck my nipples and fondle parts of my body all they want for hours, it's not going to give me pleasure
>>17219691
>Have you been in a committed relationship before?
No, but not out of choice, I've always really wanted one
>>17219703
What has been stopping you from pursuing one?
>>17219672
Shit: the Post
>>17219699
>Why do I need the guy to rub my clit when I can do it myself he's not necessary
Both aren't mutually exclusive...
Anyway. Usually, having someone to do it for you is more fun. Specially if he sucks the clit, well, you can't rub your own clit and the feeling is different.
>>17219706
Nothing, I've just been unsuccessful in my pursuit.
>>17219708
I wish I could enjoy oral :/ Guys are always surprised when I don't.
>>17219690
Because they want a relationship or they want validation that they are beautiful and can seduce great men.
Women are the gatekeepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of commitment.
What do you dislike about oral?
>>17219719
I just get nothing out of oral, I just have to lie there while a guy licks and sucks my clit and lips.
>>17219682
seconded
OP probably has some underlying sexual or trust-related trauma
>>17219723
Trust?
>>17219711
I see. I'm sorry to hear that.
I believe this may be related to your original thoughts, though. One consistent theme in your posts thus far has been regarding your reason to NEED somebody else, and that the physical aspect of intercourse itself isn't appealing to you.
I'm also noticing a slight inconsistency between your thoughts and actions. You say that you're unsatisfied with your sexual interactions until this point, yet you've had some FWB for years. Is this more of a human contact thing?
>>17219727
yeah. as in something in your past has you subconsciously thinking that something's not right, or not to be trusted, when it comes to sex.
have guys told you that you're unusually tight at the start of intercourse?
>>17219691
I don't like you. You are too old to be on the internet . Go away.
>>17219729
For two years I've been trying to enjoy sex going from different partners and different sexual techniques, but I'm at a point now where I've just given up, I don't know what else to do, and I'm sick of pleasureless sex where I just feel like a cumrag.
>>17219730
Actually I'm on the loose end of the tightness spectrum, it's something I'm self conscious about.
>>17219681
Most women can't come from penetration. A large percentage of women are faking their piv orgasms. You're normal.
>>17219749
well if you're loose, then you're not squeezing up before sex so it's not a fear or guilt issue. I think you may have some underlying self-esteem problems that need to be addressed before you can start enjoying sex the way it's supposed to be enjoyed (ie how you want to enjoy it)
>>17219776
I want my orgasms to be as intense as other women's, I mean
>>17219715
It's okay. I don't either. It's very embarrassing, and I can't relax, so I can't every cum. It's not just you, don't worry!
>>17219778
How is sex supposed to be enjoyed? Sorry for not being able to follow
>>17219784
It's different for everyone. Sounds to me like you can't enjoy it because you won't let yourself subconsciously.. Or maybe you are physiologically broken and have no nerve endings inside your vagina. Which one seems more probable to you?
>>17219799
Well I masturbated very roughly growing up, so the latter
I don't understand why I'd have psychological hangups about sex.
You arent even worth the time or effort honestly.
I have never met a woman with your "issue".
I have met women who've told me "ive never had an orgasm like that".
I really dont know how any other guys do it but for me its always after alot of touching, kissing, and escelation.
Never awkward.
Get your neck bitten. Get your hair fingered through. Get your lip sucked on. Have your inner thighs rubbed. Have a guy rub his cock on your ass until you make it diamonds.
>>17219803
who knows why you'd have hangups? If it was as easy as saying OH THATS WHY OK IM FIXED NOW then no one would have issues. You need therapy in my opinion. Even your typed responses are guarded and avoidant.
>>17219806
God you're so lucky
I wish I could enjoy foreplay like that
I just have no erogenous zones fuck fuck fuck my life isn't worth living.
>>17219808
There's nothing in my life that would have given me sexual hangups
What am I avoiding?
>>17219813
Why am i lucky?
I read what i said and i didnt think i made it sound like i was the girl did i?
>>17219818
Listen you're also very annoying and don't take the time to understand what is being written which tells me you're probably selfish too.
The reason people have subconscious issues is because they are buried in the subconscious. You are not aware of them. You do not remember what caused them. You simply do not know of them in your conscious mind.
This is why therapy exists.
>>17219743
I think I can understand that to some degree. I can't imagine it being easy to sit through that all the while being able to take nothing from it.
I think it's become apparent to you that this isn't the right way to deal with your particular issue. If there's nothing an experienced man can do to you to allow you to feel physical pleasure, then I don't believe the issue is physical at all.
This sort of leads back into my introductory comment on the matter. Simply put, the physical aspect of sex is inherently boring.
It's when we bring in a mental aspect, an actual mutually loving partner, that things get interesting. With the right pheromones, and imagery, we're able to connect on a much deeper level which ultimately serves make us hypersensitive to one another. The concept and imagery of the person you love doing everything they can to bring you pleasure, and to make you happy while you're all tangled in a mess and coming together in ecstasy... it makes all the difference.
I can't help but get the feeling that you may harbor a small amount of resentment towards men, though. I may be wrong, but in the way you've worded some posts, I sense a slight negative connotation. I can understand this to a degree, but I do have to wonder if nothing else has happened?
One other thing that may be pertinent to this issue... Medications. I'm not going to ask what you're taking or anything like that, but do take a look at the side effects, and especially so if you take birth control.
My ex-girlfriend was affected by one such side effect. Not only did it completely kill her libido, but it also dried her out and killed her senses.
From absolute demon to near-complete abstinence. Changing birth control formulations worked fine for her, and things were back to normal after that.
>>17219824
Breh, relax. Nothing ur saying would help honestly
>>17219827
>It's when we bring in a mental aspect, an actual mutually loving partner, that things get interesting. With the right pheromones, and imagery, we're able to connect on a much deeper level which ultimately serves make us hypersensitive to one another. The concept and imagery of the person you love doing everything they can to bring you pleasure, and to make you happy while you're all tangled in a mess and coming together in ecstasy... it makes all the difference.
That's something I dream about but I've never been able to find someone like that, a mutual loving partner.
I don't dislike men.
I'm not on any medication.
OP, whatever makes you feel good is what you should be doing to achieve an orgasm.
That being said, if you don't find pleasure from penetration you might not be turned on enough or just not like penetration, which is fine.
You might just need to explore more. It took me 6 YEARS of being sexually active and finally finding a partner who paid attention to my reactions for me to realize I had been having bad sex for years.
For me the biggest thing is anticipation. With my current partner it's a ratio of 75% touching, 25% fucking/penetration/oral
That all being said, I think sensate focus might be a good way for you to figure out other things you like that don't completely focus on your sexual areas. The best sex I've had focuses on other parts of my body before actually getting to nipples/genitals.
Usually it's recommended for couples but I don't see why you can't try it with your FWBs
http://melaniedavisphd.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Sensate-Focus-Exercises.pdf
>>17219743
I think the reason that you are having this problems is because of the lack of emotional connection between you and your partners. I didn't feel anything during sex until I was actually in love with the guy, then I started to have great orgasms. A lot about orgasming has to do with where you are mentally.
>>17219833
Thanks I'll look at that
Why aren't my nipples and inner thighs and neck sensitive?
>>17219813
Ok so fact is im a guy and it sounds like your foreplay session arent very good so here is what i would do with you.
1) sleep with you. No i mean actually sleep with you, not have sex. Be close together in bed. Give you time to be close to my body and relax. Reaching total relaxation is key, your skin reaches a sensitive state when you achieve maximum relaxation.
2) Kiss, hold, touch you in bed, in the dark, alot. After your skin has reached maximum sensitivity to touch i'll pretty much go to town. You tummy will be hot and tingly.
After that its entirely on the situation.
Some its better to go down on them first, some its better they go down on you. Some its better to just slide it in.
>>17219604
That means you are having horrible sex. I used to have terrible sex which felt like what you described but then I found someone who loves to give head and now I don't have a problem.
Don't have regular penis in vagina sex, it's very boring indeed.
>>17219842
Short answer: you arent relaxed enough.
Your issue is psychological and its not consciously controlable. Your consciousmind can direct the subconscious especially if you have alot of negative thoughts.
More importantly how do you KNOW your neck isnt sensitive if you dont know what sensitive feels like?
>>17219842
Everyone's body is different. I was once with someone who loved having their back/shoulders licked and kissed. I like collarbone and hips. I also like having nails gently dragged across my wrist. Expand to as many parts of the body that you can think of and would be comfortable having touched.
>>17219846
I don't think the guys I sleep with would be willing to do any of that, it's just casual sex that they want
Also I keep hearing about people feeling tingles but I never feel them
I think most men are just terrible at sex. I only realized it with guy #7.
>>17219859
Have you ever told a doctor about this?
Also, have you considered the possibility that you are asexual?
>>17219858
But I've tried EVERYWHERE, I think I've gotten to the end of the line
>>17219864
Dude shut the fuck up. Ive pretty much found her issue so go masterbate in the corner.
>>17219859
So essentially youre missing the real part of sex, more than just the autistic penis in vagina action most virgins believe happens
>>17219828
breh do you really think anything anyone here can say will help a girl who doesn't feel pleasure from having a dick inside her? or from receiving oral? or who equates sex to the simple act of stimulation with the goal of orgasm in mind - and yet craves a meaningful relationship which she somehow is unable to find?
this girl needs therapy without a doubt, and the only one saying it happens to be me
>>17219878
Everyone on /adv/ seems to have no trouble finding a meaningful relationship
Please tell me your secrets. I want someone to cuddle, and hold hands and have passionate sex with. Just once in my life, that would be enough. One day even
>>17219878
Nah, breh. Youre fucking her up more than anyone here. She needs intimacy with a real partner. She needs actual affectiin and real loving, everything ive gleaned so far she hasnt yet had.
Have you actually even BEEN in a relationship? Bro, this thread isnt even about you.
>>17219867
Maybe you just don't like sex. Or as the other anon suggested, because you haven't been having intimate sex you aren't getting what you are craving out of it.
I would suggest talking to a doctor and therapist about your sensitivity issues and concerns around sex. I honestly think you might want to talk to a sex therapist.
>>17219882
Its not too difficult if you put your heart into it. Some of my deepest most loving relationships also turned out to be the worst heartaches. But lessons were learned about genuine intimacy.
>>17219882
>>17219885
You need to come to terms with whatever it is in your mind that makes you feel uncomfortable, or uneasy, with being open and receptive.
It's obvious that you're unable to make these connections because you simply don't know how - but since you have the DESIRE for it, this means you have the INSTINCT for it but somewhere along the line of your lifetime that instinct was suppressed by your mind.
As far as you breh, how can she find intimacy if she's not at peace with herself at least to some basal degree? The best she can hope for is to land on some borderline narcissist who will string her along for their personal benefit, because emotionally healthy people cannot be with someone that is un-receptive. Have YOU ever been in a relationship with someone like her? Didn't think so.
>>17219867
You don't need therapy.
I used to think about going to a specislist because I couldn't orgasm by masturbation or with a guy.
You just need to pay more attention to your body. Once I accepted that I was disabled and physically incapable of experiencing an orgasm, I started to recognize what an orgasm feels like.
And that in itself brought a lot of relief and made me enjoy myself more and not worry about what I felt.
And I agree with the other anon. Intimacy and love is a huge part of having an orgasm with a guy. It just doesn't happen without it for me.
>>17219888
Doctor, a profeasional who looks for booboos and gives you perscriptions for pills.
Therapist, a professional listener who's job is to act simpathetic and feed you the same old facebook level motivational speeches.
Any time anyone tells me either as a suggestion to a real, genuine problem it instantly tells me they dont have answers and/or dont really care.
>>17219896
What does an orgasm feel like for you?
>>17219893
>>17219882
To clarify - something in your development made your mind suppress the natural steps that others make in order to LEARN how to connect intimately with others; this "something" is what you have to deal with. You simply never learned to follow up on this instinct, for whatever reason, and now you are looking for a mature end-result without knowing what mature-steps to take.. if that makes sense
>>17219897
you're an idiot. like, vaccines cause autism level.
>>17219893
I'm as open and receptive as it is possible to be
Unless you mean something different by 'receptive'
>>17219893
>The best she can hope for is to land on some borderline narcissist who will string her along for their personal benefit
Your /r9k/ is bleeding through
Let me guess, all other men are that way except you?
>>17219904
Please tell me these natural steps so that I can connect intimitely with others
I've had deep crushes on guys before but they never liked me back
>>17219910
Do you..even know what a non-argument is?
You know, that little kid at the playground who cant come up with an argument to eithe prove themselves right or prove your wrong so they turn to name-calling as a last resort?
Yea, you just did that.
>>17219915
Sigh, youre being led astray on some meme chase by a fedora lord who will eventually just say that he's the best one for you. Best of luck
>>17219920
i'm just saying your'e an idiot based on what you wrote. only idiots say that whenever someone suggests I go to a medical professional who has training and spent years and years learning how to treat illnesses - it instantly tells me they don't have answers and/or don't really care. Again you sounded like an idiot, so I called you on it. Idiot
>>17219901
It's like a tender hot point that keeps drawing you in helplessly closer through the ocean whirlpool.
And then !!! nothingness in your mind. A sweet warm feather glides over you and all of the muscles of your body relax. You are relaxed and reset.
>>17219910
Brain is made of fat
Autism is because the brain just stops developing
Don't have a low fat diet during pregnancy.
Fat=brain food
>>17219929
So ad hominen, and no argument to go against it. So you full admit to embracing playground logic put you at their intelectual maturity
>>17219912
no you dumbfuck, I was that guy and I found a girl like her, and turned her out and almost drove her insane because she was lacking in self-understanding and self-love - which I provided for my own personal gain.
>>17219920
The first natural step to connecting with others, is to be happy with yourself. Learn to love yourself for who you are, good and bad. Can you say right now, at this moment, that you love yourself?
>>17219936
dude you can spout logical fallacy names until you're blue in the face; I also took philosophy 101. Don't read too much into what I'm saying except that I think you're an idiot based on your idiotic statements.
>>17219930
Your orgasms sound so much better than mine
>>17219915
I meant this for you:
The first natural step to connecting with others, is to be happy with yourself. Learn to love yourself for who you are, good and bad. Can you say right now, at this moment, that you love yourself?
>>17219929
I only suggested this because OP is saying "I've tried" to all the ideas that I have given her. Some things are beyond the scope of knowledge of random people on the internet.
>>17219937
So youre admitting you fucked over girls in her position for personal gain yet you are her best bet at getting better? Hmm, fishy.
I do love myself, honestly.
>>17219942
You still havent matched me with an arument, just name calling. Thus your opions go in the trash.
>>17219947
No I feel inadequate
>>17219955
I didn't mean that for you - I don't give a shit if you love yourself or not. Fuck off
>>17219956
Then start working on this. WITH A THERAPIST. This is not something that you can do alone - I tried for a decade plus - and though I learned a lot about myself it was just like spinning wheels on ice. You need someone who is trained to guide your self-acceptance and most importantly is someone who you can trust without question to be acting in your best interest. Go. Get. Therapy.
>>17219965
Heh u mad bro
>>17219965
So for that entire decade you never had an intimate relationship?
>>17219965
I second your opinion. It took me about 2-3 years of therapy and working on developing myself as a person to finally learn to love myself. And after I did that, I finally had the confidence to assert myself in the bedroom and not just lay there during sex until the guy finishes. Of course my situation is not exactly the same as yours OP, but I really think therapy could be beneficial for you if you feel like you don't love yourself.
Damn this thread is full of cringe.
Betamax orbiters trying to give advice to a bitch that's the neighborhood fuck buddy.
OP, get a fuckin boyfriend. Litterally all u need.
The rest of you fucks stop masterbating.
>>17219971
I've never had an intimate relationship until this year. I'm two years into working on myself, after having accepted that I needed professional help - which I sought out. I ended up taking a SSRI which helped out immensely, but that's not saying this is the right course of action for you. You should find a therapist that you like, that you can trust, and build from there.. It will take a while so be ready to work at it
>>17219983
Maybe she's the town bike - but she's asking for guidance. Who are you to judge her for seeking help?
>>17219944
Get lots of different vibrators.
My ex was an asshole and I also paid for everything so he offered to buy me things and we negotiated a hitachi wand.
It's very powerful.
If the regular vibrators don't help, you can get that one as a last resort. But for me, it is so strong that it activates the spinal reflex of orgasm before my brain can process it so it is less enjoyable.
>>17220002
She aint gonna suck yo shriveled lil dick brah
Whiteboi knightin faggit
>>17220048
oh shit nigga yu rite dayum i'z din' seez dat ho's kai'nt be suggin on mah wangarang thru da internetz!
faggot
>>17220052
Ayo
Hol ul
>>17220052
So whatchu sayin wuz
>>17220044
OP here, I have a doxy which is 30% stronger than a hitachi
Orgasm is a spinal thing? You feel it up your spine?
>>17220052
*smacks lips*
>>17220078
WAS
>>17220083
KANGS
>>17220090
AN SHIT
>>17219690
sex is a lot more than just physical pleasure
there is something that comes from connecting intimately with another person you are deeply attached to that masturbation just cannot approach
>>17220067
It's a reflex. I'm 80% sure. You can go check me.
But seriously OP just find a black dude, master race, superior genetics, much better at sex.
>>17220067
>>>>>guys why do my orgasms suck
>oh btw i use an industrial wand that has been shown to literally break vaginas
you're not supposed to use those things, you know. sounds like you might have death grip syndrome but for grils
>>17220098
This meme is getting old.
>>17220100
>wands applied to the clitoris break vaginas
how2anatomy
>>17220100
There's a rational thought.
Maybe scheduling faps will increase OPs sensitivity?
>>17220104
you're fucking retarded
>>17220112
No, you and the other idiot men who don't know how the clitoral system works or think vaginas can "break" are pants on head retarded.
No vibrator to this day has been shown to "break" vaginas, however stupidly strenuous your definition of "break" or a "vagina" is. The vagina is designed to pass a baby's head.
>>17220125
>muh anglish
using a hitachi too much will damage your cit
this is scientific fact
instead of getting on your shitty cunt high horse, sit the fuck down and learn something before you end up childless and alone
>>17220125
I don't think he meant it literally breaking vaginas, just physically damaging. I've masturbated with a vibrator for 5 hours once and it swole up and obviously paccinian corpuscles that sense vibrator were desensitized so I was also numb.
And vaginas are meant to house >>17220125
babies but vulvar skin gets ripped. Your child is gonna rip your pussy. I just made myself sad.
>>17220125
Also, this anon >>17220149 is correct. It sounds like you are not feeling well today. Is something the matter?
>>17220149
Show me one medical study that has shown a hitachi will damage anyone's clitoris. Seriously, show me your actual scientific fact backed by science.
>end up childless and alone
What other insults do you have, one along the overabundance of blue stockings next?
>>17220151
The sensory system has a cancellation ability to ignore constant stimulation. When or if the cancellation ability engages depends on the individual. It's the same reason why some people cannot smell their own house stinks of their pet's piss and shit or some people stop being annoyed by construction sounds after a few hours.
Of course sustained blood flow is going to cause an area to swell up. You're essentially maintaining an erection.
>but vulva skin gets ripped
Not for the vast majority of women. In fact, it's actually so hard to rip it that in most assisted births, the obstetrician cuts the perineal area between the vagina and anus open and sews it back up after delivery.
>>17220162
You sound really really mad at the idea that there is nothing wrong with women masturbating, so much so that you keep the samefagging. You should perhaps turn your anger elsewhere instead of insisting that as long as you keep saying it's true, it will somehow become fact.
>>17220180
>>17220184
this is why feminism was a huge mistake
please let your guard down a little and act like a human
>>17220184
I don't understand. Please show me what you are referring to because I haven't been trying to samefag anything and I am not emotional about anything either.
I am these posts:
>>17220162
>>17220151
>>17220105
>>17220044
>>17219930
et al.
>>17219604
It's the female version of brandon threads.
You are hereby christened Brandina.
Brandina pls leave.
