Gonna keep some parts short...
I'm 22.
This concept is so new and so strange to me. Making friends has always been easy growing up, but now i'm finding myself in such a what the fuck period and the ...
>Met a girl a year ago and dated her the past year. Back from school, 2 months ago she out of guilt confesses she slept with a (now ex) friend of mine 4 times. (That's that. Not going into that right here)
>The person she slept with was a close friend i've know since i was 12 and is part of an extensive friend circle that i've left now. I 'left' this circle willingly. This is indefinite.
>My reasoning was I felt I was getting the short end of the stick in all of the fallout. I could not be part of a circle that is willing to be so nonchalant with this person for wronging another supposed 'tight' and 'valued' friend.
>I've only been reached out to by three separate individuals: once by one who wanted to follow up on what happened (recently found out he knew about this a week before she confessed to me), one who actually seeks me out to hang one on one, and another cocky idiot who took me out to have a beer just to ask me if i was going to stay with her (i said, i don't know dude. i don't want to talk about it) and then proceeds to FB message this ex the next day that he's attracted to her and they should chill. She says no and turns him down and forwards me the whole exchange like 'wtf??'.....
^^^cont.^^^
>My trust and faith in people is shattered. I'm not one to be dependent on people in any way, but I am pretty fucking alone right now. I dread coming home from work now. This place doesn't feel like 'home' anymore.
>I've literally only been going out just to get drunk and fuck girls I meet off of OKC. However, I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to invest myself in anything that intimate right now. It's too painful and I just need a friend.
>The only person that is around, reaches out to me, and consistently extends their support is this ex who is begging me to take her back and stay...
>I want to move. Most likely to move into NYC b/c I love 30 mins outside.
>Yeah, I know NYC is a big fucking city. but there's people everywhere else.
>Regardless of where I plan to move, I have no idea on how I would make friends. I've tried to meet guys on OKC platonically but they all turn out to be gay or not actually looking for 'friends', they just listed it.
>I feel like that weird internet guy I never thought i'd be.
>I need a new friend or squad to distract myself from all the noise in my off time.. The past 2 months have been okay for decompressing and reflecting, but it's getting to a point where I need to occupy myself differently..
How does one make new friends?
How have you guys done it?
Have any of you transplanted somewhere else and made new friends?
How so?
I'm in a hole...
bruhhh.
get a job or something.. find people through there??
>>17183560
>>17183427
I love these moments. Is like seeing a racist realise their wrong. Congrats, you've reached the enlightenment. All people suck.
1. That group of people were not your friends and you are right to avoid them.
2. There is no excuse for cheating. Instead of talking to you about her issues with the relationship like an adult she went behind your back. You can't ever trust her again and relationships are trust based. You don't get back together with her, you don't stay friends, its over. I've seen too many people not be able to break contact with cheaters and get talked back into a relationship to then get cheated on again. Say goodbye, erase her number. Don't try to say shit to "get get back", zero contact.
3. Meeting people is easy, making friends is hard. Even harder now that you learned the life lesson that you can't really trust anyone unless you are telepathic. Find a social hobby. Go join a martial arts gym, cycling club, tabletop gaming group. Something you would enjoy by yourself but that you can meet people at and just let bonds form naturally.
Jobs have been the only way that I've been able to make friends in my adult life, which can suck because once they leave you probably won't hang out (in fact I'm so afraid of losing my new group of friends, which is the closest circle I've had in a while, because of this I stay at my crappy ass job).
ANYWAY OP, if you have any friends at work just reach out to someone, you'd be surprised how easily people want to have your back. When I went through my break up, I talked to my coworkers, and I actually made closer friends because they asked to hang out with me/talked me through stuff. Just reach out
Also yeah, get really into hobbies right now, and self improvement. Find a hobby you enjoy that is social and try to find a social movement to gain friends from it. Just remember you have to be the one to make the first move almost always, chat someone up first, be out going but not annoying -- you've had friends you know how to be social properly, just remember who you are and that people want to be around you even if it feels like you have no one. Also try meetup.com
It will take time but remember OP, everyone is lonely and or willing to accept at least one more friend, but everyone is afraid of rejection/taking the first step even to friendship. Just talk to people, get out there.
>>17183991
This
