ive been dating a girl for about a month. ive known her for a long time but we recently started dating. she had been in an abusive relationship and controlled/manipulated by her ex and i had helped her get away from him and seek help from the police. after a few months of being friends we started to "actually" date.
yesterday her ex messaged me they had been having sex behind my back the whole time. at first i didn't believe him because hes a crazy person, but after some proof i confronted her and she admitted it. she told me he had blackmailed her into doing it by threatening to tell me they had had sex during the time we were just friends and she didn't want to hurt me. she lied about not being in contact with him and i feel like i wont be able to trust her, but at the same time, if she really was being blackmailed, should i be there for her even though she technically cheated on me the whole first month of the relationship?
he lives hours away and now that there is nothing else to hide, she assures me nothing like this will ever happen again. I know she went about being blackmailed and hiding it from me completely the wrong way, but having been controlled by him for the past 3 years anyways, can i truly hold her at fault? i really want to be with her, but i just don't know if i can/should trust her.
>>17171704
run. trust me. you don't want to subject yourself to this bullshit, it will only get worse as you continue to be a safety net that she can fall on. leave her and tell her she needs to fix her shit on her own and be a god damned person.
>>17171960
yeah, deep down i know better than to stay. its just i feel low for leaving a victim of sexual abuse because she fell victim to sexual abuse, when im the reason she ever got away from him in the first place.
>girlfriend cheated
break up. only option.
sorry bro, know the pain. only option in 99% of cases tho.
>>17172011
i feel that. just looking for opinions.
>>17172001
Forget everything and act like nothing happened.
>>17171704
Use the messages he sent to you and her to create a restraining order against him.
>>17171704
She sounds pretty messed up honestly and I don't know that there's any fixing it. It's been one month since you've dated? I'd say if it were years go see a therapist and try to work things out but 30 days and she cheated on you the entire time? Encourage her to seek help but yeah probably should call it quits. It sounds shady as fuck.
>>17172635
yeah but our whole relationship basically started before they were ever together, like 3 years prior. we just never got serious about it. she was also sexually abused as a child and raped in her late teens. all of which she kept a secret because she was scared. the ex boyfriend knows about it and blackmails her with it.
yeah, its only been 30 days but she was with him for 3 years and i have been friends with her since 2 or 3 years before that. its not like this is some girl i just met. and with all the shit thats happened to her in her life its hard to blame her for cheating on me if he truly was manipulating (raping) her. you know what i mean?
>>17172753
especially since its only been like 3 months since they stopped seeing each other, he didnt come back into her life, he had just never left it yet,
Notice how nobody is saying she's the girl of their dreams.
