You know what to do.
I had a dream about the Girl i'm Interested in
Basically, I was back at my old High School, hanging out with some friends, and the Girl was with her friends at another table. Soon she and her group leaves to go somewhere. I get up soon after, to go and do some stuff, and I run into her in the hall a minute or so after, and we begin talking, and then we walk to my old math room where her friends are, and we continue talking, and I think one of us brings up the idea of hanging out sometime soon. I don't know where it went from here, as that's when I woke up.
Side Note: She did not go to my High School, I met her in College
She has been mentioned Randomly over the past couple days (More than usual)
And I have been meaning to ask her how her Bro's graduation went. (Can't even do that right)
Ugh I can hear them all,
"Yeah she's awfully nice, just awfully weird as well."
>>17150250
>she's awfully nice, just awfully weird as well.
My kind of girl
>>17150259
Thank you sempai, I'll keep it up for you.
>>17150217
Fuck. I hope she did not block me. I sent a message on imessage, and no status on it (No Delivered, Read, not delivered etc.)
Then again she may be in the middle of no where with no signal, phone may be off.
I hate that I can't be more outgoing, mainly due to the fact that I don't ever know what to talk about when I'm out
Accidentally tried meth and it was alright, but wouldn't do it again
Had a crush on a straight linebacker AND his gf in highschool
I get jealous of the other people around me getting laid a lot, even though it's because they're older and have a bit more experience
I'm a virgin but working to change that with tinder because idgaf anymore
I once played the game and lost and so did you
If I knew how I would live deep in the wilderness
I secretly despise my roommates lifestyle even though they are both okay people, just excessively lazy
I'm 19 and feel like I'm behind most people that are my age.
Still hold a grudge against one of my friends who started going out with my ex, mainly because of how much it destroyed me at the time.
I should have ignored your text instead of replying.
>>17150314
Now its delivered but took like 15-20 minutes to go through. So probably just a dead zone?
Was just on a different forum and saw a bunch of women making fun of their exes small penises. Now I want to die
>>17150416
Too big isn't great either. Maximise blood flow with a healthy lifestyle. And it's how you use it that counts
FUCK ALL OF YOU.
>my mom complains about being the black sheep of her family growing up
>tfw family has always treated me like shit and singled me out
>they're white trash in disguise whereas I crawled out of that horrible mess
>move back with them as an adult
>nothing has changed and siblings still live at home and are lazy
>tfw I'm still treated like a dog and not their equal
>go to big family events without notifying me, never given leftovers if I miss dinner, no one wished me happy birthday where my siblings got showered with gifts
>tfw I'm starting work at a company with great pay
>tfw I won't be in contact with them ever again after moving out
They pretty much let me back in so they could steal my things and mooch. I've already had belongings go missing and my parents are overcharging me for bills, probably because my siblings don't have fucking jobs and won't look for any.
You guys can have your two precious, jobless, license-less and shitty 'adult' children take care of you in your old age. Good luck and have fun rotting. I'm out.
I'm livid I didn't get the internship, now I'm fucking jobless this summer, I just fucking graduated for fucks sakes. I know there were only a handful of positions but my application was really fucking good and it would have helped me apply for grad school significantly. I'm tired of no one giving me a fucking chance in this world.
The thought of failure is making my stomach turn.
I just want to die.
>>17150495
If it was that good you would have gotten it. Sorry anon.
>>17150505
You're right, I was out of the country with my laptop as my only resource so I did what I could. I would have spent more time on it if I was at home.
It was a good application, but I don't think the research was what they were looking for. They just wanted pawns of students to put their research on the site at the end, fuck unis and their business like behaviour. My research would have been helpful as fuck.
>>17150498
Then don't think of failure. Failure will come naturally. Success will not.
I am an edgy nihilist and I wish someone would put the rose tinted glasses back on. my life is a meme
I hate my parents. My dad used follow me anytime I went outside. If I was the park if I he would sit in the distance and watch me. My mom would shame me for making friends. If I went to a friend's house they would embarrass me so I wouldn't go back. If they didn't know he tell everyone I was out smoking weed and that I kept lying about it. No one wants to hang out with someone with uptight parents that who you could see in the distance following you the entire time So I just sat in the house.
Now I'm going to college soon and I don't know how to make friends, hold a conversation or seem normal.
Now you're telling me there something wrong with me because I don't have friends and stay in the house. That I'll die an irrelevant pointless life. That I must be gay because I don't have a gf.
But you did this to me. YOU DID FUCKING DID THIS TO ME.
I'm so ready to quit my position at this place. I don't know if the raise I was given is enough to keep me.
if i have to get back surgery i don't know what the fuck i'll do
Next time I see my family will be the last time.
>>17150416
I've had an almost 9 inch and 5 inches and the 5 was better. Learn how to work it.
>>17150280
I'm feeling nice today, and you have pleasant energy. Would you like your cards read? If so, I need a question, at bare minimum. It would, however, greatly aid my accuracy if I could hear at least 30 to 40 seconds of your voice.
>>17150616
Oh the irony, my friend.
>>17150598
hold off as long as you can! stretch stretch and stretch some more! I had it 2 weeks ago for a herniated disk l4 l5 pinching nerve going down right leg. it was minimally invasive but recovery sucks ass. leg pain seems to be coming back off and on. I'm really hoping that with more time I will actually see improvement but right now I'm wishing I tried more before going this route. it could work great for you everyone is different.
in case I didn't make a point of it enough, STRETCH EVERY DAY!
Fuck. My friend is still banging his ex. And that ex happens to be going out with one of his close friends.
I am half tempted to contact the guy and tell him that his GF is a cheating whore.
I'm so desperately in love. Trying to remain calm. I'm the calmest ocean when we see each other and a desperate storm of emotion when we're apart
>>17150647
Do it
>>17150647
Just do it
>>17150632
Well, that explains why your energy feels pleasant, and it adds a new level of irony to you calling me senpai. I suppose you know how to get a hold of me if you'd like to trade readings, right?
>>17150667
I do not know how.
>>17150521
Nhilism can actually be quite positive
>>17150660
>>17150663
I would, IF I had a way to contact the guy anonymously.
I'm tired. Every day gets harder to find motivation to do anything productive or creative, even just get out of bed. I've never felt like I truly belong anywhere. I'm only around because I have friends and family I care about, but even I disappoint them with being a sad fuck and a failure. I can feel my parents shame when I'm around them. They secretly wish they didn't have to deal with me, I know they do.
I still have my good days but they're few and far between. Mostly empty at this point. I just want to sleep.
>>17150416
>your spouse is a sub who's into humiliation
i used to post on forums about how small his dick was and leave my browser open for him to see it
but i mean some folks love that shit, i wouldn't think too much about it
I moved to a different city for my career after college but I have no friends besides my gf. Its so wierd being an adult in a new place trying to make friends like I don't know what to do or how to meet people.
It's sometimes shitty because I had close friends before but now there's nobody to hang out with and my gf doesn't like leaving the house to go out to places.
I think I've fallen in love with some girl at the office. I'm constantly checking her profiles to see if she's posted new stuff, or if she's posted the same reaction as I have. I'm always dreaming about getting together with her, getting all teared up as I listen to songs about unrequited love. I feel like a 13-year-old even though I'm more than twice that age.
It's maybe because I might have even less experience in flirting than a regular 13-year-old, since I've never had a girlfriend, and only opened up to one once back in high-school (and have obviously been turned down).
As the witty, funny guy of the group I manage to make her laugh every now and then, but it's all in group talks or lunchs. We never seem to make direct contact, aside from short, evasive glances that we seem to throw at each other. I know mine are all out of love (at least the butterflies in my stomach say so), but I don't know how to interpret hers.
I'm guessing that if I can make the first step and somehow bring up the subject I can make the rest, but that step is turning out to be the most difficult. We're not really that close, we don't even work at the same floor, and we don't always go to lunch or some shit together, so I don't know if I'll ruin everything by mistiming that step. Or maybe because I'm not the physically fit alpha male that I imagine she's dreaming of, as she's 6 years younger than me.
>>17150863
>>17150681
Is this how love starts?
>>17150906
One never knows where the unseen plant grows, much less from which direction its feeding spring flows. As for me, I've met someone significant and truly life-changing on this very board, actually.
Maybe ^_^
>>17150375
Fuck I hate my paranoia.
It turns out she was taking a final, and that was the reason for the delay in response.
>>17150959
Lucky.
I fucked up so hard /adv/
I was good friends with this cute girl and for some fucking retarded reason I told her I liked her when I knew she didn't like me back. This weekend I just fucking blew up on her when she didn't even do anything wrong, said shit I didn't mean. I was supposed to go to senior formal with her, but she told me the other day that she can't keep having me get pissed at her for no reason. It's fucking true too, I need fucking help or something. I'm graduating college in like 2 weeks, and I literally just spiraled back into a depression I thought I beat last year. And not only that, but I seriously think I hurt a person that I seriously considered a good friend. I'm 21 years old living in a house with 9 other dudes and I can't even leave my room to eat because I'm scared I'll see her on campus and fucking puke from feeling so shitty.
I just want to fucking go home so I can pretend this never happened, but I don't want to miss the last two weeks with some of my best friends. I am so conflicted and guilty that I literally can't sleep for more than 2 hours.
Every time I text her asking a question, and then we end up texting back and forth for well over an hour.
Its kind of annoying. I like her as more than a friend, but she does not. But we still can carry on a stupidly long conversation with little effort.
Im so sick of being single. It just feels like nobody is every interested in me. I put myself out there and the only people that seem to bite are slutty girls that hop into bed with anyone anyway.
I dont understand how people meet and have a mutual connection of attraction and wanting to be with each other. Its just never happened. It feels like a pipe dream at this point to start chatting to a girl and for her to actually be interested in me when I like her back. I dont understand what I do wrong
I try to dress well, Ive had people call me "Stylish" before, rightly so I fucking try I keep up with fashion trends
Im not ugly
I can make friends on a dime, I love making people laugh and Ive found Im quite good at it.
But nothing. Apparently Im just not special enough for anyone to be interested
And I bust my balls working and going to uni, never having the time or money to do anything I actually want to do to take my mind off of being perpetually single (So many things. I wanna take up a board sport, I wanna start doing archery again, I wanna learn to drive,) and yet I never have the money or energy to do anything because Im an independent student on minimal support
I just dont get it. Why bother. Why try so hard and get so little out of life and feel so unfulfilled. Could drop out and just work, at least then I'd be able to save money and just go travel the world for a while like I want to
Instead I just work and lift and study and occasionally go on a night out of drinking and music to get a buzz going to maintain my sanity.
I dunno guys. How do I do it. How do I feel fulfilled?
>>17150633
thank you for the advice pal. i hope your recovery goes well!!
I want to tell Thomas that I love him
This board makes me sick. But I'm emotionally attached to it. So I'll try get it back on course.
>>17151090
Just what we need, another attention seeking tripfag.
I just want to die.
That is all.
Never got a chance to tell her how much I love her. I'm a fucking idiot.
>>17151252
Never got a chance to see her again. I'm a fucking idiot.
>>17150592
>Now I'm going to college soon and I don't know how to make friends, hold a conversation or seem normal.
You and me both, though i'm in 1st year already. I'm 21 and can't say 'hi' to people.
I wish there was some school we could all go to and learn together, it's pure fucking torture being around all these happy people chatting and laughing.
Like being outside in a blizzard looking in through the window at people warming themselves up by the fire.
I'm a pedophile because I watch cartoon girls have sex. Help
>>17151264
And that, too.
>>17151293
I've torn myself to shreds to try and get another chance. I feel like I've lost a lot of respect for myself throughout this whole ordeal.
>a manager switches shifts to so she's now working on my shift.
>Seen her around before, but never spoke or even smiled. Just made a bit of eye contact and mutually ignored each other.
>She's cute. Small frame, but not exactly "petite" has noticeable (but not large) boobs and a great ass. Big blue eyes and black hair, and this stare that lasts a little bit too long and lures people into her gaze.
>Try saying "hi" to her in passing, she completely ignores it.
>Whenever we pass each other, there is always extended eye contact.
>But cannot for the life of me get her to smile or even say "hi".
>Mention her to a friend and he says "yeah, I know her, seems like a bitch".
>I thought so too because she doesn't seem to react to anything.
>I tell him "I think she's cute though", and my friend responds by saying "Yeah, but imagine if you had sex and she just didn't react to it... she'd look just as bitchy as ever".
>End up working in her area.
>Wave as I see her walk past, she stops for a minute before coming to me and asking me for help. I'm pretty sure if I didn't wave, she wouldn't have approached me even though she did need help.
>Start to think maybe she isn't bitchy, maybe she's just really shy, something I'd totally understand.
>Decide to work harder that day, to maybe try and get a reaction out of her.
>end up doing something like 130-140%.
>See her at the end of the shift before I leave.
>She smiles and waves at me.
Well, fuck.
I got a reaction out of her. My only goal is complete, now what?
I'm gonna need a new goal/inside joke only I understand to pass the time.
Also, I really like this girl, I don't even know why though. She's not approachable or friendly or anything.
I'm back home for a few weeks at my parents' home and something is seriously wrong with my little sister but my parents won't tell me what's up. I've straight up asked them a few times and all they tell me is that she "has issues", but I know its more than just teenage BS. Here's what I know:
>is on a variety of meds, don't know what kinds, never been able to get hold of them
>hair is either falling out, thinning out or ripped out? There's patches of baldness here and there
>doesn't seem depressed, but then again I'm not around that often
I've straight up asked them what's going on and they're not telling me and it's pissing me off.
>>17151349
>big blue eyes
>black hair
This isn't some anime character your describing is it?
>>17151349
So she smiles at you when you give 140% performance and she is also your manager?
That doesn't appear strange to you?
I have a new goal for you, see what happens if your output is only 60%.
>>17151397
I can definitely see some Eastern Europeans as having those traits.
>>17151379
I have a VERY bad feeling about this.
>>17151379
I'm sorry, anon.
I'm the guy who some anons suggested should write 2 letters about his feelings to figure out what I really want. And I did, and I realised that, even though I shouldn't, I really do want him back lmao. Fuck. I don't know what to do when I see him now. It isn't up to me whether it's a "final goodbye" really, it's up to him. It's going to be a beautiful night at this lights festival, but, I don't know what to do or what I should do anymore. I think I might have a little bit to drink before I go so I'm not completely nervous or awkward. I just want it to be fun, and for us to listen to some music together or whatever. Adviceeeeeeee
>>17151076
Anyone got any input?
It's 2:00 AM and i have a test at 8:30 AM that i haven't studied at all for this entire semester.
And i'm just sitting here thinking about what to write in my suicide note. Always been a good writer, figure i'll make it good and long and thorough if i ever do it.
I won't, though. And i'll pass this fucking test, too.
I'm so fucking tired, i just want to rest. But i can't.
I don't know what keeps me going. Psychiatrists gave up, none of the drugs work, I don't have any friends, don't talk to family, don't enjoy anything at all.
Yet i'm still going. Something inside me won't let me stop, won't let me give up, won't let me stop and rest.
But i'm so fucking tired.
I hate having to play these games. I wish I had just killed myself before meeting her.
Broke up 10 months ago, chased after her, begged her to give us a second chance, even stalked her for a very short period, went into depression, then anxiety, then both, now anxiety again. Not taking meds, not going to a psychologist or psychiatrist yet. I am trying to fight it as much as I can. Still not over her, she is now studying abroad and probably getting laid every day. Still feel like shit when I think about her. Meanwhile I only have the occasional flirt or makeout with random chicks going on. Tons of work to do for my engineering degree, the pressure is huge, plus family problems: Mom and dad fighting and talking about divorce, dad having diabetes and his health deteriorating, mom going into helpless depression and anxiety and having to take meds, sister failing at exams and having to try again next year. She was important for me, but I never used her as a crutch. She didn't know of my worries and problems. I loved her to death, I would kiss her on the lips even when she was sick and I would get sick too cause I didn't give a fuck. I spent all my savings for an anniversary gift for her. I offered her everything I could nd then some. In the end, I doubted her love. I was feeling like she wasn't taking me seriously, like she didn't love me as much. Was I wrong? She offered me a great deal as well- but sometimes she was just so passive and closed. I wasn't feeling like she wanted me, she rarely showed any enthusiasm, plus the sex wasn't consistent. In the end she told me herself "perhaps I didn't really love you that much".
Pfff.
>>17151640
Don't play games anymore then. Moving on isn't a meme, it's the only thing left to do.
Is this where i belong? Cross the Ts dot the Is and sign on the bottom line. Write out my soul but only on your time. Fight the depression by micro aggression, Sadness the only expression. Filter out what you refuse to hear I don't mind I just want you near. Rook takes the knight, send my queen to attack your rear. I'm trying not to feel like a lost cause but I don't see my purpose so I search through the crowd but you've already faded. Slipping past the guards not a word spoken your face just turns to dust and still feel so alone and broken.
My uncle is my cousin's dad. My cousin's mom is the grandma of my cousin's cousin or something?
I wonder how weird this will make things in the family if I fuck my cousin's cousin who isn't blood-related to me
I don't even know where to begin. The biggest problem is that I don't want to live anymore. I don't necessarily want to kill myself or hurt myself, I just don't see the point.
Everything feels so shit. I don't enjoy studying anymore. I don't enjoy hanging out with the people I used to call my friends. I feel so alone at university. My parents only seem to care about me being safe at home instead of going out and actually living. No one but my boyfriend seems to give a damn about me and my wellbeing.
I don't know what to do. Right now it's 3:34 and I have to be up in 4 hours. I tried studying today. I try studying now. I just can't. I've missed out on so much at university already but I don't want to go tomorrow. I just don't have the energy to study and do things. I don't have the energy to live. I just don't want to do this anymore. I am so done.
>>17151397
Have you never seen anyone with black hair and blue eyes? It's rare but it happens naturally, also hair dye is a thing. Zooey dechanel?
>>17150769
Fuck anon, im right there with you. Graduated HS six years ago and still no idea what the hell I'm supposed to do. Ive switched majors so many times ive lost all sense of direction and nowhere close the graduating. Im so far behind on actually starting my life i contemplate why i should even bother.
Most nights i go to bed super early as sleep is my only escape from the anxiety of failing, having failed, and knowing ill just keep failing....
>>17151349
Bite through the anxiousness and try making convo with her, just like you would speak to anyone else and try looking and sounding confident, good luck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmEAYVKDymk
This girl has been helping me with my depression and she doesn't even know it. It feels really good to think someone cares about what I have to say. I'm happy for once.
I just feel like a burden. I feel like I'm a burden to everyone around me. What if she is just talking to me because she's being nice. Am I just some giant retard for thinking that someone actually likes me.
But that's stupid right? I don't know if she does or not though and that makes my stomach turn. I just want to not fuck up for once in my life and if I do this time, I don't know what to do. I don't like talking to anyone else but her right now and I don't know if it's the same way back. She only lives 50 miles away but it makes me uneasy not knowing. How do I figure this out.
I wish my girlfriend wasn't so mean to me. :(
My mother bought too expensive a house after separating, I moved with her to help her out, but I work nights due to insomnia and she wants more help than I can give.
She has an aneurysm and a growth in her brain they can't remove.
She had a mental break yesterday and I'm wondering how long until she just dies from all the stress and I have to handle that shit too
People with mental illnesses associate with suicide are so toxic and abusive that there is no point in them seeking help or trying to save them.
I have never met one who didn't deeply and regularly hurt others and then excuse their behavior and refuse consequences or blame just because they're sick.
They really should just kill themselves if they want to, and save the rest of us the pain of knowing them.
>>17151821
I know it isn't a meme, but I've become so insistent it's almost like a vendetta. I've lost everything from this. None of this was in my favor. I need something. I can't accept to leave this as broken as I am. I also fear I might not be able to move on without it.
Dear me,
You are indescribably pathetic and riddled with issues. It's not entirely your fault though, but it doesn't matter. You're also slowly turning into a lousy worthless alcohol. Just be happy.
So the doctor diagnosed me with mild bipolar. Nothing too crazy or over the top, just little episodes of mania here and there, but I don't miss work because of it. So when applying to jobs, do I have to say that I have a disability since bipolar is listed?
>>17152505
Depending on where you live, the definition of disability varies.
Typically a disability is something that prevents you from performing the same tasks/job as others.
Sounds like no, you don't need to. Unless they specifically ask for it. (High stress jobs like air traffic controller, police, ems, etc)
I am bulimic. I know I shouldn't, but man the cycle is tough. I don't know what to do anymore. People I know don't know how fucked I am. I told me SO I was, but not that it's a near daily thing. It fucking sucks and I tell myself to stop but shit I have no willpower at all. I start fresh one day, but the next it's like I didn't do anything. I am a failure and I need to stop but I don't want to go to a counselor or anything that would let my family know what's up. Body images suck.
I feel stuck and I hate it. I got hit with baby fever a while back and I want to be a father so desperately. But I look around me and all I see is horribly unhappy men shit all over by their psycho wives. I feel like I can't have what I want because any woman will just treat me like garbage until finally divorcing me, taking away the kids which were the whole reason I got married.
I'm so unhappy.
I don't want to kill the baby but I need to. Do babies really feel pain ? How can one love someone (something?) so fast? Is her mother lying? Will they find out? I need to work on my 'sad' face.
Either way it will be fast, painless I hope, in a couple of years her successor will take her place, a wanted one.
>>17152640
Is this abortion or a living baby?
Don't do it, that's murder and you will get caught.
They'll find your post here and link you.
You can't do any crime and get away with it these days
Wear da Jimmy hat and don't be a Douchay
>>17152668
What
>>17150211
I was browing a social media site and came across this super cute petite asian girls. I wanted to message her but then I saw a post she made a couple weeks ago(yay stalking) and shes a senior in high school.
Fuckin asians man. They all look so young. it's hard to tell if they are underage or not. Especially when they have a lot of makeup on.
>>17150863
Is this a dump email?
Well I am taking another math class to get that school credit for my dumb associates when I am still attending at 26 years old [Had problem with meds that gave me psychosis that damaged my mentality slowing my progress in college]. I pretty much decided that if I fail this class I am dropping out for good. I am done, and tired of it. There are other things I wish to do, I wish I could get a stable job, and other things that I could study right now then later in my career field. I am pissed that I am far behind everyone I know and they are making far more than me, heck some don't even have degrees that are making some really hard cash, and work for some big companies. All they have is lots of good work experience, while I am still wasting away studying math for a associates at 26 years old.
My mom drove me to ECT today (I still need to learn how to drive despite being 22 because my depression has been crippling enough since I became old enough to drive that I couldn't learn), and she spent the whole morning yelling at me about how she isn't an abusive parent because she had such horrible kids to deal with.
So I spent the whole morning trying not to cut myself with my stainless steel comb (I didn't cut myself; it might sound silly, but if you self-harm as a coping mechanism you quickly find that you can cut yourself pretty deeply with some pretty dull instruments if you try hard enough.).
I haven't cut myself for five years now, but apparently that doesn't make the urge go away when I'm triggered badly enough. :\
(I didn't even bring up the subject of abuse to her -- she just got frustrated with my dad and then started yelling at me.).
Man, fuck my crazy parents. I need to get the fuck out of this house.
>>17152712
It's an email I usually give to other diviners or querents who want a private reading. Occasionally, I give it as a contact for those who want to help me with my research.
I dreamt about you last night. Possibly one of the nicest dreams I've had in a while, non sexually.
I hope we get a chance to see each other this week
I feel like I'm probably wasting my life and quite a bit of my parents money by going back to college in the hopes that a BS will get me job. However I have no other real plans, and this hick town is sucking my soul dry, so why not?
Please fix what you did.
>>17152879
Storytime?
Kill yourself right after I kill myself. This situation is a waste of life. A waste of a good human.
>>17150360
Or been genuine instead of a jerk
I'm becoming so bitter. I'm starting to hate the world. Every little thing since we broke up. The job I loved its starting to get to me. I almost hate going to it everyday now. I wish I gave up on you last year instead of you giving up on me now.
Today I am 9 days off my medication. I am a lot calmer. I have finally decided to stop being a beta and made a concious decision to take control of who I allow in my life. I have cut off a few toxic people today and deleted my Facebook. An old friends wedding is coming up, and his cousin is the single most toxic person I've known to take advantage of me and my family.
I don't think my girlfriend is physically attractive, and it is completely because of her body. She went from looking like an overweight dancer to just looking borderline obese over the course of the three years we have been dating. I still love her, but I'm not sure how to bring up that I think she needs to change without her imploding. She's graduating this year, and I'm thinking about telling her what I think if she finds a job, but I'm starting to think I'm just stalling with potentially ending our relationship over something that is honestly kind of petty. I mean, I know that I won't find her so unattractive I won't want to fuck until she is a circle of a human, and at the rate she is going, that will take a good 15 years. I'm in this for the long haul, though, so I've tried to make some inroads with her. Attempting to get her to go to the gym with me irritates her, because I am already apparently too fit for her to "catch up to," and dieting is something she can do for a month or two, but just stops doing eventually because I honestly think she is a slave to pizza and cake. She has even gone so far as to say that she resents that I might want her to change her body just so I would find her more attractive, which greatly confuses me, because I would be willing to adjust my diet or frequency of exercise for her, as I've made clear to her by asking her of her opinion of my body. She also used to routinely complain about how clothing didn't look good on her, although she no longer complains about it to me since I offered to make up a diet and workout plan that would get her from a size 14 to a size 8 and give her body some shape. She is otherwise an amazingly caring and supportive woman whom I deeply respect and care for.
>>17152879
I was attacked and provoked and did nothing but tell the truth. As far as I am concerned, there is nothing to be fixed.
Ive allowed my self become so utterly desperate ive started stalking women and i might intend to rape them.
When you do shit like this, it really makes me not want to live with you. Especially because you act like you're not in the wrong. Have some decency for once.
>>17153008
>size 14
jesus christ what a hamplanet (not)
but no seriously you sound like you put a lof of effort into your body so she should at least extend the same kind of effort in that aspect
just be open about it, she probably knows she's failing, maybe she's upset about something or getting complacent in the relationship
she'll implode but you just need to tell her that you keep yourself in shape and you don't think it's fair that she doesn't
if that fails just dump her, chads shouldn't waste themselves on just one woman anyway, at least while they're young
>>17153024
You can use my body. I'm already dead inside anyway.
>>17153081
Are you between the ages of 16-22 red haired, lots of freckles on your face and weigh less than 120lbs, and under 5'5?
◆ Hey, young chick
If ya hear the footsteps click,
keep a tight good grip when ya shear off that dick ◆
illuminatis are given children to molest in my country by the government. Children parents get paid for each session.
Robbie Williams, Ken Lockhart of Victorian Motorcycle Wreckers, etc..
So many...
>>17153087
and you say you have to stalk women because you're so desperate, and you might even rape someone?
if you rape someone you're going to jail and you'll be on the sex offenders registry. that means you will have to live your life with another barrier to pussy. and it's a big barrier.
on the other hand, you could just buy yourself a prostitute, assuming you have a job and are not some worthless neet
assuming that you're a worthless neet who can't buy a hooker you could just kill yourself, which in itself has many benefits for you and for society: you won't experience sexual urges ever again, you won't have to suffer ever again, and society won't have to suffer putting money into some loser who spends all his time stalking women and not enough time stalking a job
give it some thought!
Everybody tells me how great I am. I'm not boasting, they literally tell me I'm a good leader, and charismatic and junk. Yet, out of all that I have yet to see what anybody sees in me. To me I'm just a nervous wreck that screws up fairly frequently despite performing above adequately.
People keep telling me that I'll be great like I'm someone to believe in, but I'm not sure I believe in myself.
I've recently began to suspect that 4chan may actually be full of shills, maybe even paid shills, and that a lot of activity on here is monitored. Or maybe I have spyware on my device.
>>17153180
How do you tell shills from trolls?
>>17153115
Fuck.
Do you guys you heartless bastards know how outies are MADE?
I hate you for what you did to me. All of you.
>>17153153
Who said you needed to believe in anything? Just keep doing what you do. Save the philosophical questions for the philosophers.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I have a great gf, she loves me entirely, almost to a creep level of love. We finally fixed up our shakey relationship, more or less. She gets me, or at least tries to.
Yet, I'm confused, I don't get it. I'm stuck on another girl. Fuck.
They are both every similar, my gf is just somewhat warmer then the other.
Maybe I'm attracted to cold women.
>>17152481
Gee whiz you got a heart of gold, don't you sweetie?
I'm afraid of people like you.
Thank you /adv/ for being people I can talk to when I'm feeling down. I usually try to give someone else good advice because it cheers me up more than complaining about my own problems. It turns out my life is pretty great compared to you sorry fuckers. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you all.
I'm sad. Venting on here doesn't do anything anymore. I don't even want to. I don't want to talk. I don't even want to take action anymore.
I've been broken. Beat down. My heart has been lost. I'm struggling so much right now it hurts to an unbearable degree.
I don't know what to do anymore. I just feel like laying in bed and sulking. Not moving, not doing anything. It's sad.
Dad's betting that i'll have to retake an exam. His girlfriend is betting on me.
Why does he never trust me? All my life i've been an achiever in school. I've never done anything to earn his distrust. Maybe because i'm his only child...
i dont get why you choose someone you cant even see over me, it kinda hurts. thought u were different
instead of congratulating me on a hard semester and the fact that i passed my classes, my mom started a fight with me over me not wanting to talk to her about a doctors appointment at 2 in the morning. i told her i would go tomorrow and to talk to me about it in the morning. she started obsessing and asking me more about it like what if there was no availability. she started getting like really mad about me not wanting to talk about it even though its so late, i told her to stop being a cunt to me and that we can talk about it when we're not both so tired. she went ape and tried to hit me but my laptop was in the way. i threw a drink at her to get her away from me and she tried to come back but i kicked her away from me.
idk why i cant have a normal set of parents who just leave me alone. ive been working so hard this semester and its like they dont give a shit. i wish i could be out of school so i can never talk to her again
>>17153329
It's sad. Ironic, even. When I'm happy, I almost can't understand why people would want to kill themselves or die when going through hard times.
To me, I think "but it's so temporary and such a small part of your life to treat it that greatly, look at how it is on the other side once you move by it."
But when I'm going through really tough times, I forget the way I think when I was happy and really would wish I'd die.
I wish I'd die because these feelings are too much to bear and I want them to end. I can't take them anymore. It's short sighted
The saddest part is that if it were to actually happen, people wouldn't even get a chance to realize how deeply they'd regret it because of what they'd missed.
So wtf is up with s8r he was acting fucking crazy tonight. Tried to make me do something stupid I'll never do again. Thank you for teaching me that. You guys must think I'm as stupid as the rest of the hard-eyed whores you hang with.
To be honest I don't think he's a bad kid. He's not a narcissist. And he's not insensitive. Although his behavior is baffling. Honestly wtf do you do with a kid like that? He could be my kid... what the fuck am I supposed to do with that mess?
Fuck. Not touching that with a 10 foot pole. I got read the riot act by my peers for this. People my age are horrified and I'm not kidding. They don't think it's cute.
I keep having violent thoughts about you.
I know they're bad, I don't give a fuck anymore. I'm giving up on 'being a good person' and being 'mature', no one ever notices the work I put in.
It feels so much more satisfying to wish that you'd suffer and die.
I apologized to you. I didn't even do anything wrong. You were the one who was insensitive. What I said was minuscule compared to what you said and did. You literally felt nothing while I felt like my world ended. I cried for weeks.
Yet it was me that apologized. You ignored me.
Whenever I think about what you said I want to fucking choke you and dig my fingernails into your cheeks.
>>17153374
Initials?
I don't want to give offspring because I don't want to risk giving my child the same rough childhood I had. And the same miserable life that I do. I would rather sit here and live alone. Die alone.
Be nobody's problem except my own.
I warned you from the beginning that I had no intention of leaving my relationship, and you are just a booty call as far as sex and intimacy go. I even explained to you in great detail what an open relationship implies, and what my boundaries where, and I asked for yours as well.
So why are you implying romantic shit all the damn time even though I've straight up told you 'no', and 'that feels too much like a date to me'?
Goddamnit boy, Cqdon't mind if we become friends, but at this point I feel like I'm leading you on and that scares me.
I don't want to hurt you, but if you aren't capable of keeping sex and friendship separate then I feel like I'm going to have to have this talk with you, for real, very soon.
Fuck...
>>17153380
Heck no, not worth risking the chances of her finding this.
It hurts being ignored - by your family, your wife, your son, your "friends", your former officemates, the job market and even your neighbours. From a man to a shade, I guess money does change everything...I hurt, so much that I'm already beginning to feel numb.
I love it when people are scared of me. It's like a high. I don't like being around other people, anyways, so the fact that they avoid me is fine.
People say that at first I'm disarming, charming, and cute, but that as time goes on they start to find something unsettling about me and feel I'm dangerous, even though I'm not. I don't know what it is, but I love that. I wish I could exploit their fear without serious consequence. Sometimes I wish I really WERE dangerous.
Look at how You've decayed. Oh, how fucked up everything is. You go from being a strong, healthy boy, full of heart, ready to take on anything.
You run into a problem with her and you have so much strength, so much vigor that you go days and weeks at a time with no food, drink or sleep while your mind runs at a million miles a minute recounting this problem and its solutions.
You pray and you hope and you wish for this to stop so you can feel better again; so you can go back to normal. Because these feelings are overwhelming and you want them to be fixed. You want to go back to a functioning, eating, drinking and sleeping human being.
Now time has passed. But the problem isn't fixed. You feel it has died down but it hasn't. It hasn't gotten better. You haven't gotten better. All that's happened is you've become so broken that there's no more fight left in you. No more of the strength you once had. You can't do anything anymore, you can't take action. There's nothing left in you to fight with so all you can do is eat, drink and sleep again to survive. You've become so weak that you no longer have the ability to replace that. You no longer have strength.
You go from being a strong, healthy boy, full of heart, to a husk of your former self.
>>17152268
I know this fucking feel, anon. At least i knew it, for a week or so. 6 months ago.
She gave up quickly, has her own shit to deal with. Own life, own friends, own problems. Can't bring myself to contact her, she doesn't have time or energy to waste on my sorry ass.
If that girl has stuck with you, don't worry. She really does enjoy your company. Keep her close.
>>17152807
Tried exercise as a self-harm replacement yet? It's working well for me. Bought an over-the-door chin-up bar yesterday among other shit, walked the who-knows-how-many km to the mall and carried it all back the same way.
Text a girl I know for 5 hours, and I actually start to know her bit. I mentioned a thing in the city that I want to go to. She seemed interested so I invited her to go with me, and low and behold, she's doing something with her friends that day.
I am half tempted to tell her that I an tired of this stuff and that of she is not interested, to just tell me and I'll leave it be.
Or I could be less assholeish and ask if there is a day she's free And mention how there is probably something interesting going on every day somewhere on the island or in the city
>>17153582
Well the thinks she may be doing something then.
I mentioned that I would be doing the thing anyway, but to let me know if something changes
I am a weary overburdened traveler. Getting over my obstacles feels mountainous. I have hope though and through faith I will prevail in time.
I'm around 80% sure I'm going to fail my math final and have to shell out around $1k to take the class again.
I feel as if It's always the same people posting in this thread, like they didn't get it all out the last time so they keep coming back and that's why this threads are always up and on the first page. I feel the same way about the "write a letter for a blind person" threads.
It's my first time being dumped. I started a relationship my sophomore year of uni with a girl I had little in common with. We both just came out mildly abusive relationships. I was open and honest and over a small course of time I fell in love with her. She told me from the start that she was emotionally guarded and wasn't ready for a very serious relationship. I still saw her, and thought I'd changed her mind. Took her to meet my folks and everything. Eventually it came out that we're not as close as I would have liked. I wanted to meet her folks and she wasn't down for it. Felt like we were rushing things that she only wanted to on her terms if she felt sure about me. I left her immediately. It weighed heavy on me. Eventually after a couple days she came back into the picture, changed and appreciative. Still wasn't ready to let me meet her parents but I figured it's no big deal, that she'll let down her guard and we'll just take things slower. I made myself more emotionally unavailable as a countermeasure I suppose. I was less open and didn't take our relationship as seriously as before. Things were good for a while, then I started to feel distant from her, alone in my own mind. I wanted to be with someone I had things in common with. It seemed like I was always down to try things she wasn't interested in but not the other way around.
Yo I didn't get advice on this when I posted before so I'll do it again
I'm the guy who was here the other day about seeing his ex for a "final goodbye" type thing soon, and I wasn't sure about my feelings on him or the situation so I was advised to write 2 letters about my conflicted feelings to help me decide which way I felt more strongly for.
Helped me realise that there's definitely still feelings there for him. Yeah. Hurts to say it. Cause he hurt me. But I know I hurt him too, but he's a stubborn guy who doesn't believe in second chances, and I'm a stubborn guy who fought for months for his forgiveness and to make it up to him. I'm surprised he even wants to see me at the end of the month. At this really beautiful lights festival in the city which is my favourite thing on earth. I don't know what I should do on the night. It's gonna be mostly looking at lights together really, but what should I say or do on the night? I've been nervous thinkin about it.
Eventually I began to obsess over the bad in our relationship in my head. I never openly made any hints to this. One day I met another girl at a video game tournament. We hit it off, and I left my girlfriend and got with the video game girl. I lied to myself and to her telling her it wasn't because I met someone else, it was because I just needed to be me, that I didn't love her anymore, that we're just too different. I ignored her texts, calls, and everything. She even came to my house one night really late, and almost got into an accident. I didn't respond. I was actually with my friends at the time fucking disgusting 60 year old prostitutes, smoking weed, and talking about how much of a nympho my new girlfriend was. Over time I realized what I was doing was warped and unlike me. I looked at my new girlfriend and realized she wasn’t right for me either, that even though we liked the same things and we were similar that she was a big step down from my old girlfriend. I dumped her, and called my ex back one night really late, and asked her to meet me at a waffle house near her house. She welcomed me back, even after I told her I had a fling with someone else. She stayed faithful the whole time and she was ready for me to meet her parents. The problem was I wasn’t. I remained on edge. It was difficult for me to trust her for some reason. I was sure I loved her this time but couldn’t commit to the relationship like I did in the past. Every little thing she did wrong was reason enough for me to break up with her again. In my mind I was convinced that she was the reason I ran away in the first place, and I had her walking on egg shells to stay with me. I put myself on a pedestal and took her for granted. All the great and kind things she did for me. We were on and off maybe two or three times after this. Never more than just a day or two.
Just long enough for her to call me back and beg me to stay. It was my way of being certain I was wanted. It was disgusting really, and deep down I knew we weren’t right for each other, and that I was wrong for hurting her like this, but I was too immature to realize it. Fast forward a few years and we’re living together. She lets me stay at her place with her roommates rent free, and we have two cats together. I’m still the same. Worse probably. I start smoking a lot of weed. I’m high more days out of the week than sober. I can tell she hates it but I just keep on lighting up. Move on to psychedelics. Do DMT with my best friend, and feel like I’m a changed man. It just got worse. Evntually my girlfriend and I went on a trip out of state, and I found a lot of guys’ phone numbers on her phone mid drive. I was beyond pissed off and started deleting the numbers. She flipped out and said they were for work so she could change shifts and the like. I told her she could do that in person. I wasn’t pleased about any of this. She swerved all over the rode to get me to stop. I told her to pull over and let me out. She said no. I slapped the shit out of her, and she let me out near a gas station. I made my way to a waffle house, and called my cousin. He drove out of state to come get me, and we talked for a while. Fast forward a few days and my girlfriend and I are back together. Eventually my girlfriend and I stopped having sex. I figured it was because I put on a lot of weight while bulking. She said it was just her birth control because she’d be as horny as a rabbit on her period.
>>17150211
i still play skyrim and i don't think it's boring yet
I told her to toss it, we can just go back to pull out and condoms. She said no it was too good for her skin. I buried the issue, and just threatened to leave one day. One night I was out with my friends. We were getting high and just shooting the shit. She texts me in the morning telling me she got drunk the night before. I was furious. She wasn’t allowed to do that. We established this before. I was too insecure to allow her to drink with her friends if I wasn’t there to supervise. I went home the next day and packed up my things without a word. I left while she was in tears, and that I night my friends and I did some LSD. I was in a very bad emotional place, and I ended up having a very bad trip. I still can’t remember details about it. My friend drove me back an hour to my house around 5 am and explained to my parents what happened. The next day I was just in a fog with no recollection of the night before except for a horrible melody, and glimpses of hallucinations accompanied by an overwhelming sense of guilt and regret. I texted and called my friends to make sure they were alright. My best friend told me he was fine but he didn’t want to talk to me ever again. I respected his wishes. I knew I did something wrong, I just didn’t know what. I called my girlfriend, and asked her to come get me. She was relieved I was okay and that I was coming back. I went home that day ready to make some big life decisions. I started taking my life seriously. I put down the dope and all the drugs. I went to the gym religiously, and quit my stressful job that was an hour away. I started applying to lots of scholarships, and internships and jobs. I was more sincere and sweet with my girlfriend and much happier.
I shaved my head, and began taking more interest in spirituality. I couldn’t just let the past go though. I felt uneasy, and unsatisfied. I texted my friend that was also there that night. He told me what I did. I had hit him, and my best friend, said terrible things, and freaked out for two hours while I trying to coerce my best friend’s wife into sleeping with me. They tried to calm me down for a long time, and eventually he just took me home. My friend wasn’t upset and knew that was just me influenced by the drugs. I began to doubt myself. I knew I abused the drugs, but I thought psychedelics bring out a person’s true emotional and mental faculties. I confessed my sins to my girlfriend, and she accepted me. She told me she knew it wasn’t me. That it was just the drugs and held me as I cried from guilt and disgust. I had horrible nightmares every since the incident and woke up screaming almost every night. Eventually I fell back into the rhythm of my old ways. I was semi-distant and ready to drop my girlfriend at the drop of a dime if I was displeased. We were still sexless at this point. I figured she was going to stop birth control in August because it would have been four years, and she wanted to get a ring so I was willing to hold out. Deep down I really loved her, I just didn’t know how much I really did. One day we were supposed to take her mom to a wedding. I hated weddings so much. I told her if we could go see Civil War in theaters I would go with her to the wedding. She said we could just see it the day of the wedding. She told me we wouldn’t have to be there, just drop her mom off and we could leave. I dressed appropriately then for the evening with a t shirt and shorts. Low and behold I came to find out that I was tricked and that were going to the wedding. I felt like I was duped like a child. So I acted like one that evening and wouldn’t say a word to anyone.
On our way back she asked why I was with her. I should have just said “because I love you baby” I should have just said sorry. I instigated it further out of pride over a stupid movie. She told me I needed to appreciate her mom for paying our rent and my own parents more. She told me to go stay there for the night. I took it as though I was being kicked out. I packed all my thins and made a fuss over what could have been one night with my parents and kicked myself out. She didn’t ask me to stay this time. She just said, “That’s it? You don’t have anything to say to me?” Why was I so stupid, and prideful? I could have just told her she was right that I was sorry. I said, “bye” and left. The next day there was no call, no text, no smoke signal. I made the first move this time, and she told me I we shouldn’t be together, that she was making me complacent, and that I was making so much progress but she was acting as an enabler to my bad habits. I told her I was willing to change, and started looking for therapists in the area, applying for work religiously again, and such. I was writing my feelings out and spilled my guts about my emotions to her. I made myself more and more vulnerable and felt closer to her than I had ever felt. She said we could be back together and we could move out together that same week. I landed a summer internship that would help us out a lot. One day she didn’t text me the whole day. I called and texted the next morning asking if she wanted to hang out. I got the big “we need to talk”. I was in the area so I showed up to her house. We talked and she went back to the whole we shouldn’t be together. I told her, I don’t care. You just told me two days ago we could be together and even move out together. I wouldn’t accept it until she told me flat out, she didn’t want to be with me, and she did. I just said, “okay” and I left.
The night after, I felt resolved to get her back. I went to her house at 3 AM with roses and an old Valentine’s day card she gave me, along with a picture of us. She wasn’t home yet. Her roommate got home and called the cops on me. Luckily she came back in time and the cops were understanding of the situation and left. I was changed. I wanted so badly to be with her. I finally appreciated her, and I wanted to start a family with her someday. Something she never thought I was capable of. She told me she couldn’t believe it, that I didn’t love her, that she didn’t love me, that I didn’t even know her. She told asked my why she should go back to the same old routine of being hurt, and that she should have let me walk away a long time ago. She told me to leave that I was too late. She asked me why she should even pay me attention. She brought up the time she pulled the same stunt and I ignored her. Every word was just acerbic and deeply wounding because I knew them to be true, but I was ready. I was changed, and more open and honest than ever. I was also just too late. She told me to leave, I told her I wouldn’t leave until there was no hope, until she walked up the steps to her place and went inside and locked the door. She obliged. I stood there for a moment in disbelief. Clutching at the roses and card like my last raft in a vast ocean and it had ruptured. I dropped them where I stood and slowly walked back to my car. I drove home and took several sleeping pills. I was tormented in my sleep of the events that unfolded. Now food tastes horrible. It’s hard to swallow.
I consider suicide more than ever, and even resorted to self harm. I so desperately want to be with that woman but I ruined it all. I can only improve on myself and let time decide if we’ll be together or not. By the time that happens it won’t matter anymore. I’m meditating more, and taking the buddhist faith more seriously. I’m forcing myself to eat so I can finish out my bulk strong and then start my cut. I’m still going to the gym and channeling my emotions to throw up numbers. I even started going to jiu-jitsu again. Nothing feels the same. I just want time to speed up so I can rush to the me of the future. The man she would want to be with. Happy, emotionally stable, and beautiful with his shit together. I still write out my feelings but I’m not going to therapy. The help is beyond me now if it won’t help me win her back. They’d just put me on drugs anyway. Meditation and everything helps even if it’s just the short term. As I get better I’m sure I’ll be able to banish negative thoughts from my head in an instant. I love that girl, and the biggest blow isn’t that she’ll end up with someone else. The most painful thing is knowing I’ll never see her smile at me again, and it’s all my fault.
He walked past my place last night. It's been a little while since we've seen each other, I got really excited. Then again, I got up went into the back room, and I heard a gentle knocking on my door again. Did I imagine it? I feel he wanted to see me? I cleaned my teeth and returned. Then I couldn't see him. I've really fallen for him again
I can't trust myself, if you cheat on her, you're gonna kill yourself, because even me never will forgive myself
I hate those types they are only interested in you romantically when you're in a relationship with someone else, and when you're not they don't even acknowledge you. I'm not interested!
Rip, you hippy, John Lennon goon.
After all the pressure, stress, and mental torture I never once thought of giving up on my dreams. I was sad, uncertain, and unclear about what will happen next but I never doubted my abilities.
That's beginning to change.
Why am I even posting on this site? What am I doing here? I feel so worthless. I feel like I'll waste all the opportunities this life has given me.
I'm sorry for anything I've ever done. I'm sorry for anything I've ever said. But no one gives me a bone. I never believed in a higher power but in a weird way I did believe in karma. I don't get to choose how karma is given back but I feel like I've put in so much of my identity serving others. I can say now that I don't believe in karma either. Nothing exists. This is not the first time I've faced existentialism but every time I got out of by allowing myself to seek other ways of thinking. I can now say with confidence that karma is also just something people use to bring justice into the equation when none exists.
I'm sorry for everything that I've wasted. I know people and loved ones are trying to help but I still don't have what I need. I'm so sorry that someone might have to read this due to some surveillance concern about how dangerous I can make myself out to be.
I'm so unsure about the future. I just want a desk job and some space. A couple years alone to make new friends who aren't constantly stressed out and aren't tactful enough to stop projecting it. Friends that don't pity me.
I just want some stability because I have been through enough to ask for some. I just want some relief from this constant doubting. There are some constants about my future that I'm not going to be lenient on. I do not want to stay in Florida. I do not want to go to graduate school. I do not want to get married soon. I'll remember these three until something else comes along.
>>17153582
Women will never admit it even if you tell her to be straight, just use the 3 day rule.
>>17153817
cont.
I am shaped by my experiences and I resent that I have had to go through this alone.
I resent that I have to graduate this late with nothing to show for it
I resent that I have to smile when I go outside
I resent myself for clinging on to petty values even if it hinders performance and outcome
I resent others for treating me poorly
I resent being so lonely and doing everything right about finding someone
I resent being so lonely
I feel sad about how ugly I feel, even though I'm not
I feel sad about how stupid I feel, even though I'm not
I feel sad about the way people look at me sometimes
I feel angry about all the lies I've been fed by others
I feel angry about all the accusations I undergo
I feel angry every time someone calls me a liar
I feel overwhelmed by the expectations
I feel overwhelmed by my own opportunities
>>17153833
I feel tired going through a routine and predictable failure
I feel angry about going through routine and predictable failure
I feel tired when I look back at where I started
I feel tired seeing someone else checking me out. I don't want to go through this tango again
I feel frustrated when people expect me to follow through on things I never said I would do
I feel confused about my gender
I lie to myself when I'm optimistic about things. It's dumbing me down
I lie to myself when I justify other people's poor treatment of me
I lie to myself when I say that things might not have been better if I did something else
I thought that leaving my gf would solve things. Yet it didn't. I feel much worse now. I've realized she was the only one who I had. I have no other close people to me other than my family. I think I loved her, but there wasn't enough chemistry or attraction in my part, so I thought I'll do her and myself a favor by breaking up.
It's been roughly a week since our breakup. We've remained as friends, but I feel so empty inside. I thought I'd feel closure and content but now I'm just depressed, pathetic human being. She was the only one who kept me intact, even though I knew there was no future for us. Now that she isn't beside me anymore, I'm falling apart. I don't know what to do. Making food is hard, I've got no motivation to go gym or running, gaming doesn't interest me anymore. Nothing gets me going.
Part of me wants to get her back, but deep inside I know that won't do any good in the long run, as we aren't compatible.
I just hope that these feelings are normal and that they will pass. Conscription awaits in july and it's crucial to be a stable person by then. I hope I will make friends there and get forwards. Because I've got nothing to lose anymore.
>>17150484
Good you don't need them. But you already knew that.
in 2016/11/05 we will start our worldwide major terrorist operation. We will strike all illuminatis. Kill most of them. Arrest the important ones and put them into a fail court.
All of their governments will be taken down by cool excuses.
We are strong ally.
Seems like I will have my balls removed by surgery. Feels bad. This pain is irresistible.
I love my boyfriend but I'm afraid he's too co dependent. He can't live his life without me (i'm his absolute #1 priority even before his own life goals [he doesn't have any...]) and I feel suffocated. Also he's my first serious relationship and I wonder what it would've been like to date/fuck around in college. That ship has sailed but I don't know. UGH. How can I love him but still feel like something's wrong? I'm also indecisive as fuck
>>17153994
Thanks, now I don't want a girlfriend.
The only reason I told you to leave me alone is because I know you'll disappear for the fourth time. Cant do it.
>>17153582
I suppose there is the chance that something is going on in the back of her mind, where subconsciously some attraction to me is starting, and that is why she carried on the conversation for so long, but she has not consciously realized?
Someone has mentioned this "Though it does suggests she prefers talking to you and might be considering a relationship at back of mind, but it doesn’t mean she is into you already" so there may be something going on. But at the same time she could just like talking to me as a friend
I gave up believing that I would ever do anything that changed the world a long time ago. I just want to live out my life in mundane comfort. How unfortunate that I can't meet a partner who wants the same, they're all looking for people who still believe they have some grand destiny.
>>17153994
Buy the book "Codependent no More" and have him read it.
The animal rescue I work at has terrible husbandry and it's caused at least one animal to die.
I want to confront the owner about it but every time I try to politely give them supplies to fix things she says she has to rely on 'intuition' and that many of the reptiles are fine with literally normal lightbulbs and no heat or basking spots. It's infuriating.
will do junior sysadmin job 4 food
I just want what I want. I want to be happy. I'm so crushed over this and it's all because it was the one part of life I didn't consider or contemplate. I was never prepared. I can't believe I fucked myself over so hard.
Please swear a little bit less.
>>17154914
no mom
My boxing coach became a schizophrenic, fled the country for months and lost the gym. He let me go for free because he liked me so much. Now I feel like an orphan. It's so sad to watch someone spiral down like that. It hurts to talk to him now, seeing how he is. I try to keep in shape but it's not the same without a gym and no money and I have no outlet anymore. All the while I'm also dealing with my first breakup which has been the absolute hardest thing for me.
I love you, Zoe. Please do unblock me. I miss you so much.
>>17154963
>Please do unblock me
I was in the same situation. I got lucky as fuck though because when I exhausted all my connections to her and got blocked on everything, I had one. last. resort.
If you have nothing like that, not even one thing, give it some time and try messaging her on the most likely place again. She might unblock you. It's happened to me even before the point of last resort.
I don't care that you broke your arm.
Please unblock me Georgia. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and it was the best time of my life with you. I am thinking about killing myself pretty seriously now. Please I love you, you are perfect. I don't want anyone else. I just want you. I don't want to live if I can't be with you.
I type this knowing I won't ever see you again or talk to you. I really miss you. I just hope the thoughts of suicide pass.
I will always love you.
>>17154968
I bombarded her with emails and messages. I hope she responds...I just couldn't handle it -- I miss her a lot. She was my first true love, and at this point, I want to commit suicide -- hope I don't succeed.
Not sure if I can call myself depressed, it's just that everything is in a state of mild shittiness, and I can't see it getting better. Besides everything else I've just realized that I don't like any of my friends. I don't even really enjoy video games or almost anything anymore.
>>17155013
It's time to walk away, do not send her anything else without a response and even then you should just stop. Once a relationship reaches this point it's unrecoverable, the healing process starts when you put down the keyboard.
I really think you're all stupid bitches, that are just a sand dust.
I hate the owner of a store that I work at and I can't vocalize any of my genuine concerns about his managing skills because the only other person in power is the other owner, his boyfriend. I'm fucking sick of all the dumb shit that comes out of his insane fucking mouth and I can't stand being bosses around by someone that actually acts like a child more often than not. Don't want to quit because I need to build a fucking resume yet they've cut my hours to be just above the "I can't survive this month" line so that I WILL quit. All this just because some fag is bitching to his boyfriend that I might not personally like him waaaah ;(((((
Also I'm considering staying in bed until I don't have a job and only have suicide as an option
god im so stupid why did I do that i saw you wanted to kiss but I didnt go further i forgot people close their eyes when they do it im not sure what I was thinking
was sweating beating and drinking too much water
then you go on to tell me about love and things and I can't relate and it depresses me I dont want to be near you anymore but I want to make things right for myself
i dont know how to fucking kiss a person can you believe that I didnt know but I cant admit it
i dont look attractive or cool anymore do i I knew it all along i cant fake being a kissless virgin, yet you were the only one there in the end
why did I reject you so long ago I still dont know just fumbling disgust maybe I couldn't love myself
held back the tears but boi that was a low point in my life
im going to build a wall now, not a brick
ill never figure out how tehres things work, i figured it was always meant for other people and now that i choose someone i cant do it i just have so much going on i cant be that confident person anymore i dont like fumbling around but i want to get it out of the way
im a stupid fucking imbecile
i just wish you talked to me in person more or soemthing maybe i would find everything more natural but Im just a fucking touchless person
thats how ive always been im trying to fix it believe me but i just dont touch people but why do I crave it so i dont know why ive always been in a more silent type of love environment i cant change i dont know how to express myself
i talk so I dont have to recognize everything I did wrong, including talking
please, please let me rewind or something
let me feel less like a lower human being because I cant be anything else but that
I think I'm pathetic because I've never even kissed/held hands with a girl and I'm almost 19.
My dad won't believe in me until the money starts coming in. I don't know that he'll even believe then. I get it, he's voicing the same doubts I have in my head. I knew how he felt, but I didn't think it'd sting that much to hear on graduation day. I thought after four years, an internship with a successful game dev studio and award upon graduation, he'd at least think that it is possible for me to be successful.
Put that on top of the fact that I realized I made more friends in the last 3 months than I've ever had and we got closer than any other friends I've ever had, and now they are likely gone forever. Plus I sort of caught feelings for my friend right as she's about to leave to the other side of the country, while my gf is away (I didn't do anything, but I makes me feel like an asshole). I'm a bit of a mess. I want to celebrate and cry. When I drove home I just wanted to keep driving on and on into an endless night.
My reward so far is that here I am, back at home. I feel like I'm not much further along than I was.
I need to leave home asap, because this place is mentally and spiritually damaging.
I felt genuinely very good, bitter sweet, but good, hopeful. I felt better than I have in a year or two, more hopeful than ever. I didn't realize how quick I could be shot down by a simple reminder of how my father feels about me.
I know I can be successful. Why do I care so much what he thinks?
People use the word "edgy" in place of actual arguments against things that conflict with their narrow, morally posh view of the world.
>>17155329
Eh, I turned 20 today, and I still haven't.
>>17155013
>>17155027
This is true and I speak from experience. Try to keep her around- in your life. That's the best you can do. It hurts so much. It hurt so much when people told me that and even more when I realized it was true. But I'll tell you that I at least kept her around and in my life, and that helps a bit. I'm still very fresh off of this. I was in your position maybe a few weeks ago. I'm able to live, meet new girls and be relatively happy, but I do still feel shitty.
Relationships are an awful part of life. It takes away a part of you. It steels you for other parts of life and makes you ready for future hardships. I didn't realize that it was one of those trials that are actually a test of strength, and not something positive that's adds to your life and it broke me. It broke me bad and now I feel even more shitty. When my mom died, I realized that this is another part of life. I realized nothing good really comes from this. I was ready and I coped well. But with this? It took me by surprise. I got fucked so hard by this. It's not a nice thing. Love isn't a nice thing. Only when it works out is when it's good for you. Love is a multifaceted monster with a very pretty face.
>>17155329
>>17155364
Same here and i'm 21. There should be some kind of chart for this so we know exactly when to consider ourselves "losers".
>>17155364
>>17155393
Tough I have had quite a few chances. I just never acted, and instead I began pursuing one who most likely only likes me as a friend. (I mentioned her earlier in the thread)
Oddly enough, she is the only IRL friend to say anything on my birthday.
>>17155406
When is your birthday?
>>17155461
August
>>17155472
See you then
>>17155476
Not before I see you
>>17155478
I got nothing to say really, song sums it up. things are just... good and getting better all the time. gonna go for a drive and hit the gym for the first time in awhile cause I've been too beat up to actually be able to work out. still gonna have to take it easy but I can walk normally again. I can actually lift stuff. I can bend my back and turn my head.
I feel fucking great.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmwRQqJsegw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSyiOMg_110
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC2ZY2loo74
I want all of you struggling and feeling unhappy to take thirty minutes today and figure out what you can do to make your life better. doesn't matter if it's going and getting a milkshake, or going to that job interview you're scared of. and then, and this is important, I want you to relax for at least another 30 minutes. whatever makes you feel great, do that, and forget your worries. I mean really just throw them out the window for a little while and let the stress slide off you. go lay in a hammock and read. go sit on the grass and play with a dog. go for a drive. just be present in life, as yourself, with no stress, and reflect on what that feels like and recalibrate a bit.
to all of you in a hard place; I've been through absolute hell, speaking objectively, and I'm at the point where I can't help but smile and know that things are getting better now. you can get there too.
>>17155483
Working out definitely makes me feel great, even if I don't see any improvement. I can't even bench press the bar with no weights, mayne. That shit pretty pathetic.
I ran out of things to do during those 30 minutes of relaxation. I haven't been through hell, but my life in general is very boring.
I started a new job after a couple months of unemployment. I fucking hate it so much and I'm looking elsewhere
Every time someone tells me i should get outside and just find friends or a girl i get extremely frustrated because they make it sound so easy while for me its the hardest fucking thing to talk to a person i dont know and not feel like im acting like a retard.
Is social retardation a thing?
>>17155585
I'm with you, famo. I think it's most likely a social thing... a friend of mine is 5'6, really skinny, probably a 5-6/10 when it comes to facial aesthetics and has some hot chicks in his inbox wanting to "hang out ;)" all the time. They literally all come to him, he never hunts.
Thing is that he's very social. He's super friendly, and pretty much talks to anyone he comes across with. He drives an old Honda, and works a minimum wage job and lives with his parents. So I wouldn't say it's a money thing either. It's surprising imo.
>>17150455
Oh, honey, who broke your heart?
>>17155601
>ouch
>>17151082
Fucking do it.
I have a crush on this probably straight dude who sometimes talks to my friends. Whenever he says hi or whatever to my friends I just look away, or walk away and I think he hates me for doing that.
I have spoken to him twice but they only last for 1 minute before we have an awkward silence because I dont know what to say or he doesnt know what to say.
I recently striked a conversation with my friend and he immediately joined the conversation and whenever I gave input he wouldnt give me any eye contact.
I see him everyday as i walk to my classes and he sees me everyday as he walks to his own classes. It hurts that im not a social guy and that I will never talk to him or become his friend.
I honestly dont care if he might be straight. Ive accepted that, and will just settle for being friends
I wish there were more threads that have a greater opportunity to expose myself.
I'm so fucking lonely and wish I could live with my parents again
Ow fuck. I think I love you. I hope I don't fuck up this time. I don't know when or how I will make a move.
>>17155794
>Ow fuck.
What hurt?
i have been depressed since friday which was when i took many shots of tequila which i stupidly thought would make me forget my problems. i am so lonely and for some fucking reason decided to major in something where I only have 10 other classmates and i have no social life because all i see are these classmates. when i graduate i will have no social life because the only way i can make money with my major is freelance work. fuck it. i will take steps. I'm going to start studying in the common room where at least there are other people besides my 10 classmates. I'm pissed because there is no one I care about besides my mom and my phone is also broken and idk when I can get a new one.
>>17155835
>i have been depressed since friday
I've been depressed my entire life, senpai
I still love her and I want her to be happy but I just can't see myself living past 30. She became really distant after the breakup, and I don't think she'll be bothered if I died
Why did you say you're my friend? You borrowed my phone twice. You don't even know my name
I'm making too big a deal of it but i'd rather just not hear anything positive than someone.. pick me up just to put me down
Steve, you're a piece of shit for lying to get back with her. Threatening to kill yourself over a breakup is abusive as fuck to begin with and I know youre too egotistical to ever even think about hurting yourself let alone offing yourself. You just cant deal with not having pussy on tap whenever you like it. She deserves better than you and God fucking knows I am better than you. I at least made her happy. You seem to think you do too but if thats the case why has she called me at 2am, while youre asleep because otherwise youd flip out over her talking to me, in tears over how miserable youre making her.
Yeah shes weak for not leaving her but you made her that way. You tore her down and made her dependent on you so she'd never leave. If you paid attention for 2 fucking seconds you'd see that shes started self harming again and having anxiety attacks and youd know i was right.
But like I said, youre an egotist and cant see past your own dick to be able to realise youre ruining someones life for the sake of getting laid.
Hey anon, how was your day?
Mine wasn't great, but it could always be worse.
Rejoice in the comfort that tomorrow is promised to no one. All mistakes are forgiven with time, and time is a resource you cannot exhaust. Some mistakes are small and can be forgiven in an instant. Others are big and can take a life time. There is no such thing as tomorrow. It exists in the same state as today and yesterday. Take solace knowing that the happiness of the past is forever with you today. Let it guide you on your personal path to redemption. Our souls are eternal, and with love we'll be guided back to each other eventually. This life or the next.
I like having chronic physical ailments because I can use it as an excuse for my failures
>>17151379
Sounds like your sister has trichotillomania, and it could have to do with her meds. After I was put on a bad antidepressant, I developed the skin version of the disorder, dermatillomania. Talk to your parents about getting her to a doctor/psychiatrist. Early intervention is the best way to beat the disorder before the habits become ingrained
I'm such a terrible piece of shit ;_;
I am so sorry, so sorry
to You, to You, to You, to You and to You.
And to You.
Forgive me.
A guy tried to kiss me tonight, knowing full well that I'm with the father of my child. On one hand, I'm a little offended that he would try, since I'm in a relationship. On the other hand, I'm immensely relieved that some people still consider me desirable.
>>17154963
...Initials?
NOTICE ME, SENPAIS
>>17155996
Unless you're obese, you're desirable. Fuck, even some people have fetishes for obese.
>>17156003
On some level, I know that. I've just been very insecure since the baby. My stomach and breasts changed drastically and it's not nice, and I'm becoming very aware of my aging.
i should have payed more attention to what you were telling me. i'm going to try to get you back and won't stop. i still love you
>>17150211
I want to kill myself
Thanks for thinking about me, I guess...a little too late though...
I wish I could just enjoy life and focus on working to succeed rather than being distracted by petty bullshit that happens in my life.
Also, I think I may have some weird social anxiety with women that I find attractive and who also seem to be interested in me. It's like I notice it, but manage to miss my chance or just ignore it. Shit's bugging me.
>>17150647
Do it, He will appreciate it.
Got married, had kid, worked 10 hours, come home, beds warm?, grab wife phone, sees text, kicked bitch out for cheating, sold house her father gave me, Made $120,000, Moved back in with mom, Broke myself down and rebuilt myself, Lost 30lbs, exercise 3 times a week, bought new truck, stoped smoking and making my lunches every day (plus nowhere to get whey at work), More focused and confident then I have ever been. Got new apartment last week, I am now living the life I should for a 25 year old man... One of the worst and most feared experiences in my life turned around and made me something I never imagined myself to be... Plus, if a ho's gonna cheat and you find out, be happy and leave the bitch. Real woman stand beside there man not behind there back.
I am so goddamn close to just getting a baseball bat and beating the shit out of my brother in his sleep
>>17156309
this guy gets it. good on you man.
>>17150211
I have the worst stomach imaginable. It hurts so bad all the time. It feels like someone is stabbing my in the gut with a knife and twisting it around. It hurts so bad. I break into a heavy sweet and have to use the restroom a dozen times an hour and end up throwing up a few times as well. I get these attacks once a week or more. It'll hurt for 5-6 hours and completely debilitates me.
I have gone to the doctor for this many many times and they are like "lol dunno". Had xrays, catscans, all of it. Was given medications and none of it works. I have tried all kinds of different diets to see if it was food related and nope. Went vegetarian, cut out carbs, cut out gluten, cut out sugars. cut down sodium, cut out caffeine, everything. None of it has any effect whatsoever.
I want to kill myself so badly. I do not want to feel that pain again and It's going to happen soon. With no exaggeration it's just something most people will never come close to feeling how badly it hurts. I can't do it anymore.
I masturbate everyday and feel weak because of it. The one thing I want to do is stop doing it but just can't control it.
>>17155772
>posting in any other thread than this one like once a day and then noping out before you run into illuminati crazy guy.
>>17156598
as an example of how bad it is.
One time it got so bad I was sent to the ER. After telling them I was in 8/10 pain they told me to lay down and blah blah blah. While in the hospital bed it got even more severe, like 12/10 pain. The doctor didn't believe I was in enough pain to warrant attention and said that she would "check on me" I eventually went into shock from a pain induced plummet of blood pressure and I blacked out. Woke up in a regular hospital bed and did a shit ton of more tests and later was called back saying "nothing out of the ordinary."
So yeah. next time I'm just going to shoot myself and call it quits. Fuck this shit.
Damn, thread is still here.
>>17153076
1. she weighs 170lbs and is 5'6"; size 14 (maybe 16 now) wouldn't be a problem if her body frame could handle it, but it can't.
She has very large upper arms from fat storage, to the point where she can't wear some shirts that otherwise fit her, dresses make her look like she is being squeezed into a tube because of her paunchy middle, she has barely enough back musculature to keep her shoulders from sloping completely inward, and there is a fair amount of cellulite on her legs now. She also has a gorgeous face and a smile that melts hearts, and I have to admit that her body is still banging otherwise, so its not like I'm disgusted by her outright. I'm worried I might be some day, though.
2. There was one point where it seemed like it was something we were going to take care of together, but I made it "our" thing, instead of letting her make it "her" thing, and as soon as I wasn't there to keep her meals prepped or get her to go to the gym, she stopped, because she refused to follow a plan. Maybe it is just about stress and structure. Regardless, that was when she still looked just a little overweight. She has gained about 10lbs since then. I'm unsure of how exactly she feels about her body, because attempts to discuss it with her more recently has led me to ask her if she wants to change anymore, and she has refused to answer. Honestly, if she could just own it, that might even still work for me. I can feel that she just isn't as confident as she was 20lbs lighter and a few sizes smaller.
Still, it is a good point that if I don't discuss it, even if it hurts her, I will likely just resent her in the future if I don't.
3. The fuck? I'm a chad?
Are you a lady? Because I think a dude would be able to tell I'm just a regular dude who happens to care about athletics too.
>>17156635
i'm so sorry you're dealing with that kind of pain. please don't kill yourself though. i hope it will get easier for you.
i would rather die then doing this thing
>>17156647
I appreciate the concern but it's currently 2am and I' am only away because of my stomach. Already been awake for 2 hours so the next 3-4 hours are going to be a living hell for me.
I have already been fired from 1 jojb because I had to call off 1-2 times every week and ruined my last relationship because my GF wanted to sex while I was rolling around the bathroom floor in pain all the time.
I don't exactly have any quality of life here.
>>17156309
Fuck yeah, man.
When I find the right words to leave behind, that's when I'll walk on the air.
i live for God. he has my back.
Everyone else left me. I didn't think you'd leave me too
I feel utterly horrible, and feel like I am falling back to my depressive downwards spiral.
The girl I have a crush on, and have been hanging out with for the past 2 months, basically started ignoring me utterly last friday, for reasons that I do not know. We had hung out together on thursday, and had good time, so her change of behavior came completely out of the blue for me.
I asked her on facebook if she would be interested in hanging out, and she ignored that, and when I asked that from her in person, she replied with a vague as fuck "Maybe", and proceeded to basically pretend I wasn't even there.
I am so frustrated, and hurt, and I don't know what to do. These negative emotions are causing me to regress back to my depressed state of mind, and it is making me panic. I don't want to go back to that self destructive pit, but I see no way of halting this descend.
I just keep wondering if there was something that I did which caused this.
>>17156801
Are you the same anon who went out with said girl and she never responded to your Facebook msg?
>>17156809
Dunno, that seems like a rather common scenario.
I have been hanging out regularly, and spending time with this girl in general for about 2 months now. She only started ignoring me last friday, for reasons unknown to me. Not responding to a message despite having seen it, and acting like I was air when I was in the same room as her.
It frustrates and pains me immensely. I do't know what I did wrong to cause this.>>17156809
Dunno, that seems like a rather common scenario.
I have been hanging out regularly, and spending time with this girl in general for about 2 months now. She only started ignoring me last friday, for reasons unknown to me. Not responding to a message despite having seen it, and acting like I was air when I was in the same room as her.
It frustrates and pains me immensely. I do't know what I did wrong to cause this.
There's something terribly wrong with me. I no longer wonder why I'm alone. I know why I'm alone
>>17156819
There was an anon who posted last night said they went out had a good time and after that she ignored him wouldn't even say hi in person they where in the same kitchen
Regardless of that
Look anon dont mind that its just making you feel like shit even if she does say yeah we should go out why would you want to be with some one who isn't into you as much as you are into them? I can say I know how you feel I met a girl on Pof we talked and went out 2 weeks ago after that she didn't txt for a week so I sent her a txt we talked for a bit and I asked her if she still wanted to go out or not really blunt
She never responded so I knew the answer and here I am not worrying anymore
>>17156838
That might have been me, because that happened to me.
The thing is, that I don't think that I'll ever have another chance like this. I am so god damn asocial, and the negative emotions stemming from her perceived rejection towards me are sending me straight back to my depressed state of mind, where I am bloody self destructive.
I feel utterly horrible.
I really like her, but I don't understand why she is acting this way. I guess I should just not bother anymore, but I can't just forget and pretend that she doesn't exist, like she is doing to me.
>>17156854
Ok anon I'm not gonna be one of those other anons who says just make friends or go out because it's easier said then done
But what I will say is this in order to meet people and have them like you for you
You truly and honestly have to love yourself if you did love yourself you would not make yourself go through all that bullshit respect yourself anon for fucks sake
Like I said I know how you feel Im 23 now didn't have a gf till last year no expirence I fucked up but I learned from it managed to get another date recent one she wasn't interested oh well I'm just moving on and learning that's what life is about
>>17156881
She was my only friend here, after my ties with my aunt and her family broke. My family is over 400 kilometers away. I have nobody here where I am studying.
I was getting better, and slowly overcoming my depression, but it feels like these emotional hurdles of the past few days have set me back what took almost a year to recover from. I haven't felt this horrible and suicidal in over a year. I just don't know what to do. I can't focus on my studies, or anything else really. I just want to lie in my bed and cry (been holding back tears all morning, because I don't want to weep in the class.)
