Why do women respond better when you ignore them rather than chase them for their affection ?
Why do guys respond better when you ignore them rather than chase them for their affection ?
>>17111527
Why do men continue to chase girls when they've been friend zoned?
Because people want what they can't have.
>>17111532
We want what we cant get
>>17111527
Because everyone hates desperate people and clinginess (if they're not desperate and clingy as well). It makes your partner look weak and dependent. If I am the only good thing someone has going in his life and he makes me feel like that, I just want to avoid him - I want someone who can improve my life, not someone who needs me because otherwise his life would suck.
>>17111535
Why does /r9k/ and redpill exist?
To show the true embitterment the friendzone brings while they secretly desire a loved one of thier own.
A woman would rather have her entire life fall apart around her than be bored. They feed off drama, they live for it. A woman would rather feel emotional pain than feel nothing.
>>17111527
Because chasing affection is ating desperate, and nobody wants someone who's desperate
>>17111557
Lmao what? Where did you get that info from?
The same reason you want legendary pokémons instead of the regular ones you find in the tall grass. Men do the same thing when seeking their long term partners.
>>17111545
>Why does /r9k/ and redpill exist?
Because guys want sex and get bitter when they cant get it?
It also ties into a guy mentality that its a problem that can be fixed when that might not be the case
>>17111571
lol, worst comparison ive ever heard
If your analogy is to hold true to how real life is it would be like most guys throwing their pokeballs at everything that remotly resembles a pokemon
>>17111581
I said long term relationship partner, not short term sexual partners.
>>17111557
This is true to some degree.
Most of my friends (especially younger ones) dig drama.
But I think it's something else - people want to date interesting people.
I never wanted drama because I have a super interesting guy (smart, funny, we share a lot of interests and hobbies) which is also extremely nice. We never argue, have tons of sex and spend a lot of time doing fun stuff together, and we've been together for 7 years.
Most "nice guys" I've met, tho, are extremely boring. They don't have a good sense of humour, they're super shy and awkward, they have weird interests and they're obsessive about them, they don't have social skills, they're super clingy.
Most girls I know would rather date an interesting asshole than a boring nice guy.
So they either create drama while dating nice guys, or date shitty people.
>>17111587
Doesnt seem to be much difference, first pokemon that doesnt break out of its ball is the one
I know a guy at work who moved his gf into his place now and they met a month ago
You cant really be picky as a guy these days, its a numbers game and if anything sticks go with it
>>17111589
This hurts me a bit.
>>17111577
>> some guys.
Not every dude is just after sex.
>>17111591
I am talking about a human tendency to be attracted to rarity when a selection of choice is available. I am not making the broad and empty claim that a selection of choice is always available to everyone.
>>17111610
D-didn't mean to hurt you, anon.
There is this post on quora which is really accurate:
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-nice-guys-get-friend-zoned
>>17111622
Not nessecarily, some go for the safer and more familair option as opposed to simply choosing because its rare
Guess it depends on your definition of rare too, being deformed is rare but certainly not good for instance
Exotic could have an allure sure but i think people are drawn to their likeness in some form
>>17111541
I wasn't aware relationships served other purposes than to release oxytocin and pass on genes?
>>17111628
I think "nice guy get friendzoned" should be changed to "boring guys are not attractive". These words would communicate much better the root of the problem. It is quite painful for guys to hear, because it means they are constantly judged for their entertainment value, but it needs to be said. After all it is an equal problem to women being constantly judged for their sexual value. It's hard to have any proper discussion on statistical bias of attraction in gender dynamics if we don't use proper words.
>>17111527
Because you are supposed to be the strong independent part of the relationship. If you are needy and desperate then that just turns her off, just like saggy tits and cellulitis might turn you off.
Men are attracted to curves and empathy, women are attracted to social status and strength of both mind and body. That's just biology, you shouldn't get mad at women just because they aren't men.
This is obviously a broad generalization, there are enough men and women who deviate from the norms and are attracted to completely different things. I am sure you can find a woman who wants a needy desperate guy if you look long enough. Just be aware that women and men in general just don't like the same things.
>>17111648
>Men are attracted to empathy
Really? oh thank fucking god
ive felt so weird for wanting a girl with a warm and caring personality for so long but this explains why i want that so badly
/r9k/ breach
>>17111589
People who claim to be "nice guys" rarely are. They are usually boring and annoying.
Now if you are nice and confident and adventurous, that's a winning combination and girls will find that attractive.
'nice guy' is another word for ugly guy, and not sexually attractive
>>17111589
I am a very mellow person and I get lumped in with the nice guys a great deal. The thing is I don't think you really know anything about "nice guys" you're just spouting off mimetic bullshit.
Everyone is infinitely interesting. If you spend enough time with anyone you'll realize they want to love, feel, and dream like anyone else. I used to have a good friend with down syndrome, it just was a different way I had to communicate. The reason people don't talk to you is because you probably don't send the signals you even want to hear anything from them.
In fact I think that makes you a boring person.
You know, my mom always told me if you can't find something endearing, fun in something -- you are probably a boring person. I thought it was bullshit as a kid, but she's probably right.
>>17112408
Shes using "nice guy" to replace unattractive. This is very common thing to do.
>>17111643
I never thought about it this way but I am easily bored by men. The ones that piss me off an reject me and are fuckboys are at least entertaining, if in a negative way.
>>17112433
You need to meet guys that are exciting and nice at the same time.
>>17112422
Yeah, there's nothing wrong with attraction and such, but also you probably have to be ok with a high divorce rate at that point. Sexy man won't be so interesting once his wrinkles and pot belly come. Not long after that he's sitting on his elongated balls and cant get it up.
>>17111527
Because they like what they cant have and they like the challage of controlling that person.
>>17111589
This is why i dont date i am not your pet monkey that is here to enternain you. Also asshole can be boring basic bitches too.
>>17111614
But that is all that gives women power and many of us didnt care about women until we hit puberty.if you honesty didnt care about sex you would have nothimg to do with women and you will see them for who they really are.
>>17111589
Good insight here, but men need to take it with a grain of salt. It's super important not to get caught feeling like a woman's judgement of your value is the best measure of your real value.
People don't appear boring because they like boring things, what it really is about is enthusiasm. Take pride in your life and others will too.
I have niche hobbies and nerdy interests. I balance them out with more common interests. Some women like talking to me because they think I am interesting or smart or funny. Others think the opposite, and others still don't know me well enough. Eventually you realize it's all bullshit. Don't care so much how others perceive you and do your own thing.
Because men are taught to pursue until she "gives in" and women are taught to defend the goal posts at all costs. When a guy "chases" a woman her first impulse is to goalkeep, and if he keeps going after that it starts to seem threatening.
>>17111527
because it gives the appearance that you have other options. women are fiercely competitive when it comes to this stuff. you pouring all your attention onto her=you have no other options=no one else wants you=why would she? is pretty much their logic as far as i can tell.
>>17111643
>I think "nice guy get friendzoned" should be changed to "boring guys are not attractive"
Yeah, but in some way it's "easier" to accept it. It's like when girls say "guys like sluts" because they don't want to admit they're not as attractive.
Also - I think it's a problem of "younger" people, I am 25 and I really do not dig drama at all.
>>17112363
>Now if you are nice and confident and adventurous, that's a winning combination and girls will find that attractive.
Agreed.
>>17112408
Maybe we find different things interesting. I definitely don't find everyone interesting enough to have a long lasting relationship with them, even on a friendship level. I treat everyone respectfully, and I think I can have a decent conversation with pretty much everyone, but to keep a relationship on the long run I need someone I connect on an intellectual level.
>>17112572
People in a relationship are kind of supposed to "entertain" each other. You have to enjoy spending time together.
>>17112686
>It's super important not to get caught feeling like a woman's judgement of your value is the best measure of your real value.
I didn't mean it, and of course different people find different things interesting.
Me and my boyfriend are both super nerdy, we like playing videogames and talking about politics, economics, astronomy and sport statistics. Most people would kill themselves, I do realize it, but I find it amazingly interesting.
Also we share the same sense of humour and I think he is amazingly smart, so it works out.
I was meaning more the lack of social things, or just really the ability to have a conversation. And just trying to give an explanation to the "girls dig drama" thing.
>>17111541
this. I don't want somebody trying to make me responsible for their happiness. everybody is responsible for their own happiness, the most another person can realistically do for you is share and intensify it.
