>>17028895
If you even need to ask this, you don't really love her. If you don't have the balls to ask her if she wants an open relationship, then stop fucking other women and appreciate what you have.

>>17028895
>I married into money easymode with a rich but naive woman.
>I found a 1/1,000,000 woman.
>All I have to do is not fuck around.
>I can't live up to that.

Fuck off, OP.

>>17028938
Seriously. Your "problem" would be a blessing to so many people. It's never enough for some people.

>Before we got married I was fucking around, but she told me I needed to stop. I agreed.

And she married you. What an idiot. I almost don't feel bad for her.

>>17028954
Almost makes you wonder what flaws she has for a rich women to marry someone that's clearly a complete degenerate. I've met ex-cons with more honor.

>>17028968
The life-ruining flaw of terrible partner choice. You see it all too often on /adv/. You could be the best partner in the world and have all the love in existence and you're still fucked if you didn't choose your other half well.

>>17028913

I have no interest in an open relationship.

>>17028938

It's just as easy to love a rich man/woman as a poor man/woman.

>>17028948

I realize this. Mostly it is enough. There's just this one issue, which I need advice on. I mean, I expect the judgment and jealousy, but I still need a bit of advice.

>>17028954

Don't feel bad for her at all. We are a wonderful couple, and to a certain kind of woman, I am 10/10. My wife appreciates me, and loves me practically unconditionally.

>>17028968

The same types of flaws as other people, except she was born into a family that called spring break "ski week" and would fly all over the world on a private jet as if it were normal.

She's a doctor. She's a good person. Beyond that, she's normal.

-

I still would like some advice to go with this main course of telling me I'm a piece of shit.

-

Going out to dinner. I'll look again, maybe before the second course. Otherwise, I'll respond once I'm back and have privacy.

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>>17028992
>We are a wonderful couple
>I am 10/10.
Pic related

>My wife appreciates me, and loves me practically unconditionally.
If she loves you so unconditionally, then be you should have zero problem being honest. Jesus fuck, here is your advice: You either stay faithful, or TALK TO YOUR WIFE ABOUT THIS.

>>17028895

You fuck other women because you're not happy.

I mean she has a pussy, doesn't she?

You say you have "great sex", but something isn't working.

You're just deluding yourselves that you're happy.

>>17029012

I want to fuck other women because I enjoy it. There's nothing more to it than that. For most of my life, sex had no emotion attached to it. I did it because it was fun. I did it because I enjoyed the process. I didn't do it because I had emotional connections. My wife is the first one that this has been the case in that way with.

But it still is my favorite hobby. I like making things, I like reading, I like learning, I like travel, I like golf... But they're all second or farther.

I Live a happy, fulfilled life. But this is missing, and I'm wanting to do it more and more every once in a while.

-

Back from dinner.

Anyone else have different thoughts? I'm here for a bit.

>>17028895
I understand where you're coming from OP. You should either talk with her and say you want to fuck other people (no emotional affairs, only hookups) or you don't talk about it and don't to it. If you try anything other than those two options to risk screwing up what sounds like a fantastic relationship.

>>17028895
You're scum

>>17029717

Then just keep fucking other people. You obviously don't feel bad about it. Do you need a pat on the back? Good going, mate, you're fucking chicks while your shithead wife supports your ass.

Don't fucking screw around. Keep yourself in check and have some self restraint, OP. Be happy with what you have and stop being fucking insatiable.

Cut off your dick op

end yourself op

>>17029719

Yeah. You're right.

For whatever reason, it's difficult to get that those really are the only two realistic options available.

It's nice to hear this from someone else. But, it's hard when I'm in the position to act out. Thus far I haven't. I suppose that says that I'm capable.

Thanks for taking the time.

>>17029726

I disagree. Pretty worthless advice, also.

>>17029732

If I didn't accept and respect her opinion on the matter, I would have been acting out in the ways I want. I'm not. I'm thinking about it and tempted to do it, but I haven't yet.

I don't need a pat on the back.

My wife and I support each other in different ways. To be honest, it's her family that supports both of us. Though, she's in a more respectable field than I am.

>>17029742

The self restraint one is tough. I've never been one to employ that. Generally, I've always gotten what I want and done exactly what I've wanted.

It's hard, though. I mean, I suppose its that way for anyone with some type of things they really enjoy that they totally cut off. It's easy and available all the time, and when I travel alone, it's like a cloud over me the whole time. We'll, not every trip, but often.

Would have posted more. Have to pee. I'll cut it here. Thanks for the thoughts.

>>17028895
I can't think of anything. You're supposed to play it cool at all times OP. I can't think of a reason why you would want to do anything more. Obviously, never get comfy when out, but I assume you're a smart lad. You have my blessing and none of my judgement. What are morals and honor really?

>>17028895
gr8 b8
inb4 over 9000 replies

>>17029794

It seems like we would get along.

>>17029829

Not remotely b8 meight.

This is one of the few places I've been able to be myself. And I've been here quite some time.

It's often get to get outside perspectives.

>>17029717
>I Live a happy, fulfilled life. But this is missing, and I'm wanting to do it more and more every once in a while.


Yawn. Again, you like sex; you have "great" sex with your wife; why fuck other women when you can fuck your wife every day?

You're a fucking liar, and not a very good one at that.

>>17029863

Because it isn't about emotion fulfilled sex. Meaningless sex has been my main hobby for most of my life. Cutting that hobby off has been difficult. In fact, she's really the first person I've wanted to have "meaningful" sex with in my life. It's wonderful, but it isn't the same.

Take a nap, anon. Have a snickers. You're not you when you try to troll OP.

If you have any thoughts or advice, those are welcomed.

op you sound alot like me

i cant stop

i really really try, but i cant

ive been doing better, and the times that i do control myself, i feel fantastic about myself. baby steps, i have to make short term goals and overcome small hurdles before i make such a huge commitment.

take lsd/mushrooms. it helped me for a while, i thought alot about my values and people in my life and my own sexuality. i think if i delved deep enough into this, i could come out without the need to fulfill myself sexually in the ways that we do.

>>17028895
Why not see a therapist about your addiction to sex? If you can't be committed then don't be in a relationship dude.

>>17029883
Yeah, me too.

I enjoy sex with different women. Sex with the wife is good but I enjoy the passion and discovery phase of getting intimate with someone new.

Nothing's like the anticipation and pleasure of seeing a new woman undress, the swell and curve and her breasts, the color and shape of her nipples, the first glimpse of her pussy as she spreads her legs that first time and making her cum over and over.

I'm not giving it up. My wife doesn't know and I plan on keeping it that way. If she does find out I'll deal with the cards as they fall.

>>17029892

I don't have issues warranting seeing a psychologist. This is the one. If I did go, she would see it as a red flag. I feel like she would know why I was going. I don't want to go down that road.

>>17029889

I understand you.

I am not a person who tries or uses drugs. Even if I were, I wouldn't know how or where to get it, how to use it safely, or who else does it.

I, personally, haven't felt proud of myself for abstaining. Maybe that's the next stage. What I do feel is regret about not being. Able to act out the way I would like to. But then I think back to the agreements I've made, and the cycle continues as it does.

I wish you luck on your personal journey. If you find the magic words, let the world know.

>>17029910

Man. It is good we aren't in the same social circle. You speak my language.

Let the cards fall as they may. I strongly feel this way. I am also very confident, if I did indulge myself, I would not get caught. But, perhaps I do. And if that were the end of the relationship, it would be a very difficult pill to swallow.

-

How do you deal with the fact that you and your wife see sex rather differently? Do you believe she knows, but is keeping it below the surface, or have you discussed it?

Why did you agree to stop if you are not capable of doing it?
You shouldn't even consider cheating on her again.

You better keep that as a fantasy from now on.

She learnt it once before your marriage and she will learn it again.

>>17029933
>How do you deal with the fact that you and your wife see sex rather differently? Do you believe she knows, but is keeping it below the surface, or have you discussed it?

She sees it as a part of a relationship whereas I see it as a recreational activity. We haven't discussed it and I am 100% sure she doesn't know because I am ultra discreet and careful about who I see and when.

My focus is on not damaging the marriage and not hurting the wife. What she doesn't know can't hurt her and I really don't want to hurt her because I do genuinely love her.

Before the 'you don't love her if you fuck around' crowd gets started it's as simple as saying "I love my wife but I am not giving up playing golf" but substitute 'sex with new women' for golf.

I have the STD and pregnancy angles covered too. Life's good. At my age it's a smorgasboard of interesting women who've left marriages and had shitty sex lives. Usually they married as virgins and when they experience sex with someone like me they can't wait for more, then they brag to their friends, who also want a taste.

My horizontal dance card is full. Life's good.

>>17029883
>If you have any thoughts or advice, those are welcomed.


What kind of advice are you looking for? You clearly know that your wife would not want you having sex with other women, yet you still do anyway.

What is the point? I mean, what is the point of just having emotionless sex, without any connection? You feel nothing for these women, so after you cum you're just pulling your dick out of a woman you care nothing about.

It sounds to me like you're incredibly vain and insecure, because you need to have sex for other psychological reasons.

Obviously. I mean, it's not a physical need, it's psychological. Right?

Maybe you feel dependent on your wife, and you fuck women as a form of trying to claim independence.

In the end, you can't have a great relationship with someone then fuck tons of women on the side. That just isn't possible.

You have insecurity about something in your relationship (wife is financially well off), or yourself; or you'd be perfectly content fucking your wife. You fear the commitment, or the change of life, or something.

The sooner you come to grips with the real reason why you need to fuck other women, the better for you and your wife.

>>17029996
So you honestly wouldn't blame your wife or think it's wrong if she had affairs as long as she kept you from finding out?

>>17030088

Yes. If I didn't know how could I blame her or think it was wrong. Providing I didn't get hurt or disadvantaged them I wouldn't care because I wouldn't know.

>>17028895
You are possibly the weakest man alive. Fuck off and die

>>17030104

If she cheated on you, WHY do you think she would do that?

>>17030130
What is this... a game of hypotheticals. I have no idea and I wouldn't be thinking about it if I didn't have reason to.... just like my wife has no reason to.

wow, you sure are some damaged goods

>>17030111

Yeah, this. Just a weak, pathetic excuse for a person; insecurity, inferiority/superiority complex.

>>17030104
that's like saying you wouldnt care if your wife a murdurer or drug dealer unless you found out

>>17030132
>What is this... a game of hypotheticals. I have no idea and I wouldn't be thinking about it if I didn't have reason to.... just like my wife has no reason to.

Yeah, it's a gamy of hypotheticals. IF she cheated on you, speculate. Why would she do that? Women cheat on men all the time; do you think it's really a 0% chance she would cheat on you?

You don't love her if you're willing to put her health in danger without her permission just so you can have fun. You're bringing back STDs to her despite what you say about having taken precautions, because those precautions have a failure rate. It's not the same as a golf analogy because it hurts the other person. It's more like gambling using both your finances without telling your partner.

>>17030141
Why would she do that? I don't know, I can't speculate because I am not her. I think if it came down to it the biggest reason would be 'because she wanted to' and there could be many reasons behind that.

Provided it had zero effect on me and my lifestyle and I didn't know.... I wouldn't care.

>>17030145
No. Never brought back an STD. I don't fuck randoms and I don't fuck impulsively. It's a slow build up of delicious anticipation and preparation. Part of which covers minimising the STI risk. If I think the woman is going to create problems I just don't do it. She gets dumped in a nice way and I move on.

The golf analogy, maybe not perfect but it's not like gambling either.

>>17028895

Other than your dumbfuck comments, you know how else I know you're a sniveling, insecure, vain asshole?

>I got married in February. My wife is financially well off. I am very well taken care of. I am able to pursue my passions, which mostly is travel.

Yeah. How about
"I love her"
"She's sweet, nice"
"We get along great"
"We really relate to each other"

None of that. All that you mention is that YOU are "well taken care of", YOU are able to "pursue your passions", etc.

You're stupid, you value the wrong things in life. Like a child, you are valuing the things you "got" in the marriage.

Trying to talk to you is just like trying to talk to a 3rd grader.

Maybe you'll grow up, maybe you won't.

But in the end, it's not a "moral" issue to fuck other women. It's just that it's never going to make you happy, and your duplicity will end up causing a rift with your wife.

This is why we correctly identify you as weak and pathetic.

>>17028895
>implying any of this is real
daily b8

>>17030198
by some sad sack no less.

10/10 thread OP. We're all about equal opportunities here at /adv/. Thank you for coming to tell that men can be sluts too, and that casual sex makes them cheaters and unreliable for long term relationships.

Make your catchphrase "Not all men understand loyalty." Fight those stereotypes.

itt: angry virgins and fat chicks

>>17030216
>10/10 thread OP. We're all about equal opportunities here at /adv/. Thank you for coming to tell that men can be sluts too, and that casual sex makes them cheaters and unreliable for long term relationships.

It's only /r9k/ types, religious zealots and the ignorant who think men have more loyalty than women.

They only men with more loyalty than women, who won't cheat if given the chance, are those who are so desperate to keep a gf because it took them forever to get oneunlikely to ever get another.

I've never really been able to empathise with people that NEED to fuck other people.

I desire other women all the time. Sometimes I see such a nice ass I have to scoot off to the toilet and rub one out.

But I don't get the absolute uncontrollable need to do something so destructive. If it was just a little destructive like eating candy -- whatever, who cares?

But not being able to control yourself? Sounds like fucking bullshit to me. I'm not even convinced it would be a big deal. It's hard not to think people like OP aren't just selfish assholes.

>>17030227
>They only men with more loyalty than women, who won't cheat if given the chance, are those who are so desperate to keep a gf because it took them forever to get oneunlikely to ever get another.

Another fucking moron spouting out shit he knows nothing about.

You're saying love doesn't exist? I fucking pity you. Honestly.

everyone responding to bait seriously

>this thread

>>17030240
>everyone responding to bait seriously

Why does it matter if it's bait or not? People run into these same issues every day.

>>17030250

I'm a 10/10 male with a perfect wife but I have the urge to cheat on her while I travel cuz of muh dick. Can relate 100%.

>>17030235
>>They only men with more loyalty than women, who won't cheat if given the chance, are those who are so desperate to keep a gf because it took them forever to get oneunlikely to ever get another.
>Another fucking moron spouting out shit he knows nothing about.

I know a lot about this. I see more new pussy in a year than you'd see in a lifetime.

I know a lot of guys who swear they'd never fuck someone else yet they're into it as soon as think they nobody will ever find out. Because they're niave and new at it they get caught easily.

>You're saying love doesn't exist? I fucking pity you. Honestly.

Who said love doesn't exist. Love has nothing to do with it. Love creates the bonds that allow people to raise families in peace, safety and security. In the context of a loving relationship sex is a way of renewing and strengthing those bonds.

Outside of that relationship sex is fun and pleasurable with the right people. The right people being those who are intelligent, independent, well grounded and in touch with their own feelings and circumstances.

The wrong people are those who think sex = love and love = sex. This just gets messed up.

>>17030269

Me too. Same for the majority of grown up men who place the safety and security of their loved ones first. After that, bring on the strange.

>>17030287
>The wrong people are those who think sex = love and love = sex. This just gets messed up.

That's fucking stupid. Love=sex, it makes sex better.

See, if you ever felt love, you would know that.

You just have "a" relationship, or had one, and think that was love.

But it wasn't. Sex with someone you love is 300% better than sex with someone you don't.

Imagine cumming into a woman, and not realizing as you're cumming that this is someone you don't care about. Now imagine cumming into a woman, and you love her to the depths of your soul. And she loves you.

So to say that sex w/o love is just fine, I know for a fact you have never experienced love.

>>17028895
I think I'd be in a similar situation as OP is in if I marry right now, so I would be interested in answers to this question.

I also like a lot of sex, but I acknowledge that you can't all of a sudden just "Stop" without great difficulty. Would like to get married, but also know myself and would like to control myself as well before I get into a serious relationship.

>>17028895
I hope you get aids.

>>17028992
>I have no interest in an open relationship.

So its okay for you to sleep around your wifes back, but not for her to sleep with others? That sounds unfair.

>>17030169
Suppose that your wife wants to have sex with other men, but she also wants to be open with you about this.

Suppose we're talking about emotionally detached, playful sex. Just like yours. Very careful about partner choices. STD and pregnancy factor taken care of. Zero impact on your lifestyle. None of your friends / coworker / family members would know.

How would you feel about it?

>>17029012
>You fuck other women because you're not happy.

This is a load of psychobabble shit and it always has been.

People who fuck around either have huge sex drives (for whatever specific reason, be it hormones, childhood trauma, addiction or habit) and low self control. Almost unanimously this low self control comes about because the person doesn't actually want to NOT cheat on their partner. They come up with reasons why they should be allowed to because they're borderline psychopaths who never want to come up with the reasons why they shouldn't: they'll hurt their partner and have to lie to them.

OP is already trying to justify why he should be allowed to, so it's only a matter of time until he comes up with a reason to cheat on his wife.

>>17030454
The hardest thing to do is change a behaviour that makes you feel awesome, but usually the hardest changes are the most important ones.

You are asking us how to either cheat or make it so your NEW WIFE is alright with that?

Sorry to disappoint, buddy, but there´s no such thing. Either you are faithful or not and if you are not, you should be clear on that since a faithful person (which I suppose your wife is) deserves that.

Women forgive way too much sometimes (your sleeping around before), but there´s a point where it stops to be bearable. So you either change yourself or break it off. Otherwise you will make her desperate, unhappy and probably will break her (which can be even with breaking it off, but that at least offers her a chance of doing better).

>>17030454
>>You fuck other women because you're not happy.
>This is a load of psychobabble shit and it always has been.

I partially agree with you. Some serial cheaters are actually borderline psychopaths (sociopaths); but a lot of time cheaters are just regular people who aren't happy in their relationship for some reason.

It's not rocket science: people in unhappy relationships are trying (sometimes desperately) to find happiness elsewhere. Maybe it's excitement they lost, or just some glimmer of intimacy in the arms of someone that wants them.

OP. Most anons on adv have not slept with enough people or been in enough long term relationships to understand.

After I got cheated on I have had a lot of trouble being in a relationship without cheating. It's part fear, a desperate need for validation, and a high sex drive

I know exactly where you're coming from..sex is my favorite hobby..it's an obsession. I want it all the time.

I'm with a great girl who is a 100% loyal and I always have feelings of guilt or shame for what I do. I love her.

I don't know what to do. It's irreconsible to me. How do you rationalize what you do to yourself OP?

Is this a real thread? Seems too baity to be true

>>17028895
The feel is always going to be there. Its whether or not you value your relationship enough to risk it. Some have enough will power to not give in, some don't. Simple as that. Building up your will power, now that's another discussion.

>>17028895
Addict of a behavior.

You must ask yoursellf, "what I REALLY want?" and start from there

>>17030639
>Most anons on adv have not slept with enough people or been in enough long term relationships to understand.

It doesn't take either of those to understand that cheating is wrong and you're shit for doing it. Either stay faithful, stay single, or attempt to find someone else into open relationships if you must have both.

>>17028992
Wow. Your head got stucked in your arse.

>>17029717
I seee - you're a sex addict

>>17030453
>Suppose that your wife wants to have sex with other men, but she also wants to be open with you about this.
>Suppose we're talking about emotionally detached, playful sex. Just like yours. Very careful about partner choices. STD and pregnancy factor taken care of. Zero impact on your lifestyle. None of your friends / coworker / family members would know.
>How would you feel about it?

Same anon here that you are asking the question of (I'm back for a while).

So you're asking how I'd feel about her asking an open sexual relationship?

Providing I had equal opportunity and we had an agreement to do no harm, or to discuss and negotiate changes we felt in our relationship then I'd be fine with it.

Unlike some other male anons here, I have plenty of opportunity to meet and bed women, so a mutually open relationship would benefit me whereas for many other male anons their women could get laid often and they likely never would.

An open relationship has to be balanced for it to work.

My wife doesn't want an open relationship.

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>>17028895
Going to sound retarded, but my only advice would be the cliche, "look around you and be thankful for all the dope shit in your life"

Sounds like you have a bretty gud life, familia. Learn to appreciate it instead of trying to sabotage because of some immature desire. Unless, of course, you realize that your current life isn't what you really want, and then by all means, change it.

Explain what you mean

The most fucked up part about this is she only wanted to really marry you on the basis of you quitting the infidelity, or else she surely would have left you, as any self respecting woman should. So you basically lied to her to get everything you wanted and she's none the wiser. Probably thinks you actually love and respect her enough to keep your word, which is a joke.
Unless you can truly be honest with her, you don't deserve anything. She should also get to make a choice in what kind of partner she spends her life with, somebody who won't continuously cheat on her, because she obviously wanted commitment or wouldn't ask it of you.

>>17028895
Seems like you only married her because she is rich

Would you have married her if she was not rich?

My advice is to make sure you don't get caught