So I'm not gay, nor do I think I'm bi. When it comes to what I'm romantically attracted to, it's women 100%. When it comes to what I'm sexually attracted to, it's like 100% women. BUT there's a tiny part of me that is bicurious. Not really wanting to have sex with a guy, but would be interested in, say, making out or maybe jerking off.
I'm not looking to get off or anything, or hookup, but like my friends and I are really, really close and we talk about our lives, and sex, and struggles, and that sort of thing. Should I mention this about myself? Ever? Or would they think of me really differently or judge me, you think?
I mean, I am not attracted to any of them at all, nor would I want to do anything even remotely sexual with them because like I mentioned, I don't even think I'm bi, but there's that tiny, tiny part of me that has gay thoughts from time to time.
Should I ever let that out about myself? Is it normal/average? I never hear any other guys mentioning that once in a while they have gay thoughts, but maybe it happens?
I don't know - I was gonna post this on /LGBT/ but it seemed more appropriate to ask here. Plus, I don't know their rules there - I know /adv/ though.
Thanks.
That's normal, youre not gay or curious man
>>17002071
I think that's pretty normal, if you're all close and good friends?
I mean, I can't honestly say from the male perspective but I always assumed so. Doesn't mean you're bisexual, or that you ever have to go through with it. The occasional thought isn't weird.
>>17002075
>>17002138
Well, maybe I downplayed how often I think about guys in a physical way.
It's at least a couple times a day. Granted, girls are like an upwards of 20, hah, but I still find myself thinking "That guy is kind of hot." Not like, "Oh dayum, I'd tap that" but in a weird, not-quite-sexual-but-not-quite-innocent way. I don't know.
Also, my porn habits are like 98% straight... but that 2% is gay.
>>17002297
Well then maybe you're bi, big whoop.
If they're good friends and you talk about everything anyway, surely you could mention that in passing.
Not in a "cute butts you guys" way, just telling them how you feel.
>>17002297
Heard of the Kinsey scale? Kinda outdated but might help you
>>17002335
Definitely have. I think I'm a 1.
>>17002335
I don't believe in the gay/straight dichotomy the Kinsey scale is far more humanist and accurate. I'm like a 7-8
and btw -- this letter is hotter than fuck. This is my "fetish" as you guys would say. Watching two hot straight dudes do whatever together that would be so awesome.
>>17002071
in my experience, "straight" men are only ever comfortable exploring their sexuality if it is not talked about. why? becasue if they have to talk about it, its no longer an impulse. its no longer the heat of the moment. its no longer 'just two dudes being funny'. it is now a consciously thought about and acknowledged decision to do something. and that makes it gay. it makes it on purpose.
but if you and your buds were watching a kinda hot movie, and talking about sex, and then you throw on a porno to show them something REALLY specific that turned you on, and penises just started flopping out, its not 'gay' its just a guy who gtot turned on by the porno (AND DEFINITELY NOT THE FACT THAT ALL THESE DUDES WERE CAUSING SEXUAL TENSION).
talk about your fantasies with them, but isntead of talking about bicuriosity, mention watching gangbang porn. if anyone else admits to liking it, THAT is the friend you are most likely gonna end up jerking off with. they are turned on by the idea of men in close contact, but focus on women.
it might even be easier to start with a threesome with a chick and transition into solitary jack off depending on them. but if you consciously say 'sometimes i wanna jerk off with dudes; all you get is an uncomfortable unified 'das gay'
>>17002297
2% being actual gay porn or 2% being like threesomes where the balls touched and you were surprised how much it turned you on to see that
Hey OP I'm just like you! Hell no would I tell any of my friends that. You have to be careful though... the more I think about it the worse it gets. I am definitely gayer on the Kinsey scale than I was a year ago and that's just from loosening that restraint you have over gay thoughts. I can't say for sure if it'll change if I try sex with a guy since it's just fantasy right now. But fuck man... especially when you don't have a girlfriend, shit is tempting.
>>17002649
its always so weird to see guys thinking about this like its a bad thing. like they have to stop themselves from doing something they clearly want to do.
society sucks that way. even in pro gay west hollywood im still closeted (though i do enjoy my man sex without restraint)
>>17002678
I don't think it's bad. Honestly whether I turn out full faggot or straight doesn't matter to me, but like OP, there's still a straight part of me that doesn't like thinking about dudes most of the time. I don't blame society, I think the reaction is natural, the first time someone told me in 5th grade that guys marry guys, I instinctively freaked out.
>>17002705
>instinctively
instincts imply something in your nature, but kids dont instinctively freak out when they are raised that way.
drop two people from different cultures and put them in each others shoes, and they will both 'instinctively' freakout about how 'unnatural' everything is.
i dont like to blame society for many things, but in this case, yeah societies the jerk. its the reason why we got a large army of 'straight' men who only ever have sex with other 'straight' men, cuz as long as they are btoh straight, its not gay.
los angeles is suffering.
>>17002730
Well they can say they're straight if that's the label they prefer, but I think guys like me and OP are proof you can move around on that thing. Lol are you this guy? >>17002618 Tbh, I love the female body, do not like the male body, but when I go to craigslist there's a lot of guys there who want to be a straight guy's first bj, handjob, & for me thinking about that is hot, as, fuck.
>>17002757
>they can use the label they prefer
the issue with it is that, as tumblr as it sounds, its putting down people who use gay. they use 'straight' cuz gays are inferior. and they arent gay, they are jsut straight dudes who have sex with other straight dudes. cuz being gay is bad.
there is definitely a scale, and you can move around it, but these are guys just being gay and saying they're straight. there is a difference. i get why they'd do it. the gay culture sucks and no one wants to be associated with it. but its frustrating as fuck.
as for those guys on craigslisters, they are what i mean. they arent actually looking for straight guys. there arent lines and lines of straight men waiting to have sex with faggots. its basically next level roleplaying and lying.
I've actually donei t. i just claim i have a gf.
>>17002766
Damn. That's funny as fuck. How would they react to the real deal like me? Also, I agree if you're full on having sex with the dude you should admit you're bi and drop the straight label.
>>17002780
>the real deal
you arent the real deal. you arent straight. you consciously force yourself not to think about gay stuff cuz you dont want to think about MOER gay stuff. you are purposely avoiding something you admit to wanting because you know you will like it and want it more.
your words not mine.
>>17002780
whats worse is you're just as pompous as they are about it, calling yourself the real deal just because you arent having the sex you admit to wanting to have, laughing at them for it.
just cuz you are too pussy to do it doesnt make you any less gay. it just makes you a gay virgin.
you are no better. maybe even worse.
I'm actually very glad to hear someone speak of this. My bf shares these thought and desires but won't admit it to me. I came home the other morning and found him naked in bed asleep with my dildo stuck to the wall and one of his video chat accounts was open on the laptop and another on his phone. He and I are very adventurous in the bedroom. He loves sharing me with other men on the regular. His desires never deviate from sharing me with other men. I have asked him if he could see himself allowing another man to touch him. He says he doesn't think it'd be something he could do. I think he could under the right circumstances. I haven't told him this yet but I'm thinking of setting up a glory hole situation for him.
>>17002806
Lol then the real deal doesn't exist, because I'm about as close to that as it's going to get. Otherwise I guess gay thoughts alone dictate that you're not straight. I think that's stupid.
>purposely avoiding something you admit to wanting
Well yeah, not because I think I'll like it, because I think I really won't fucking like it, fantasy is one thing but has no bearing on how you'll react when you're there.
>>17002815
Thanks for shitting on my words. You think you can make a ruling on how gay I am from some comments on an imageboard, go fuck yourself.
>>17002833
no, you're just a faggot in denial.
its not just 'gay thoughts' you are tempted to fuck men but avoid it cuzthats gay.
you cant be 'afraid' that you wont like it and still cal lyourself straight. if ur afarid you wont like it, that means you want to be gay and are afraid you are straight. it is just sex, so if it was an issue of whether or not you would like it, you'd try it to find out.
except you are afraid of being a homosexual.
>you think you can make a ruling on how gay i am
litearlly just commenting on your own description of your gayness. as in, gayer than last year and how you hae to be careful not to think about it lest you become more gay.
just go get laid faggot.
Hey man, had the same time thing a year or two ago after a break up. Was curious about dudes and ended up hooking up with a few really good looking ones and fucking one of them. It was interesting to say the least, I enjoyed it on a few times but other times I wasn't able to stay hard because I just prefer women in the end.
Having done it now I'm glad I explored that side of things, but I know that I'm unlikely to try it again. If you're comfortable with your sexuality I think most people would try something at least once just to see how it is if they're curious enough.
To answer your question, I would actually decide against telling your friends. For one, you still classify yourself as straight so telling your friends that you fantasise about jerking off dudes might make you seem like you're in denial. It's just a needless exercise in my opinion.
Only my closest couple of friends know about my extra curricular activities, and even then that's absolutely not talked about (and the ones who know are girls).
>>17002855
>avoid it cuzthats gay
I have nothing against gay people or even being gay, I don't know why you choose to read some of my comments but not this one >>17002705. Read it again please. It's not fear of being gay that keeps me away dude, it's me still being mostly straight, and honestly assholes like you who go "nah you're full on faggot in denial" are why I don't say shit.
>be careful not to think about it lest you become more gay.
Okay the "be careful" thing was my warning to OP lest he find something wrong with having more gay thoughts in the future. I thought that wording would be funny but I guess some people took it too seriously.
