Someone please think of the autism.

Maybe theres some underlying insecurity?

The feelings sound like anxiety (thinking that people laughing at you) and depression (feeling worthless)

>>17000800
Hi, thanks for replying.

I fully admit I'm not the most secure person in the world and a lot of the time I don't understand why people would want to spend time with me. However, I can't overstate enough how supportive my partner is. He sits and listens to me rant and counters all of the negative opinions that I have.

I just wish I could listen to him when it matters. I just seem to bypass all irrational thought when I'm not doing very well and turn it into an issue of me being a worthless and pathetic person.

>>17000816
>Bypass all irrational thought.

Sorry, that should be 'rational thought'.

I can say though that there is one thought that is based in fact - I'm the weakest one among my training buddies. Again, my partner says he finds playing against me very stressful and difficult because he thinks I'm good, but I always do place below the rest of them at tournaments which does get frustrating.

Anon I fucking love video games, way too much if you ask loved ones. So naturally some of the games I play are competitive and I'm not always the best at them. This only wants to make me try harder though.
In a friend's case, he's like you when he plays games with friends only he gets upset in the opposite way. He yells and self degrades himself and others. You may not be as autistic as him, but take this idea to heart. Your friends don't want to see yoi broken up over a game. Do yourself a favor and be upset in the moment instead for a lifetime. Hope something here can help

>>17000851
This is absolutely, absolutely what I want to avoid. Fair enough that I don't yell or degrade others, but I don't want to be the person having a tantrum in the corner while everyone else came to have fun. I've even noticed that there's less laughter and jokes when playing with me because it seems like people don't want to hurt me. I don't want that to be the case, but I struggle to control my sadness in the situation.

>>17000863
Being sad can sometimes be hard to control for reasons we can't always understand.
I would recommend trying more online games? That way you don't have the pressure of someone seeing you while you're upset. This could help you dial it down a couple notches within the privacy of your own home

>>17000870
Funnily enough, it was playing online that started this introspection. I had a pretty bad weekend of getting trashed online, but I thought "It's alright, I practiced against some great people and I'll apply that knowledge online where people mostly act a fool".

I lost for an hour and a half straight. Most of the time I spent ranting to my boyfriend, and then I just stepped back and thought "Man, he doesn't need this, he listens to enough of my shit already".

I'm thinking of logging out of things like Skype when I play so I can't bother people, plus stopping playing when I feel frustrated. I can really work myself up and say that I won't stop playing until I get a win, but then the frustration leads to me playing dumb.

>>17000899
>Getting trashed online.

Shit sorry, I meant getting trashed offline with my training buddies. Sorry, I really need to proof read my shit more.

I understand those feelings completely. Sounds like you base your self worth on how good you are at games, when thats the least important thing i could think. Maybe you hace a self steem problemas that you need to work on

>>17000568
Try to find the fun in losing. This sounds nuts, but teach yourself to find your poor gaming funny.

I'm also pretty bad at video games, and I got frustrated about it when I was younger, and even up through my early 20s.

I just taught myself to remember that games are supposed to be fun, not anger-inducing. When you lose, laugh.

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>>17000899
This.

It actually reminds me of almost all female gammers I know (like 3)(also not trying to generalize)

One tip I always give them is to figure out something they're flawed at and practice that thing.

For example: friend had a lot of game knowledge and understanding, but lacked execution. Tip I gave was to practice the same combos over and over to improve.

And of course if you keep doing the thing, you will eventually get better if you apply yourself. Games aren't always easy either.

>>17000908
Yeah I feel like this is fairly accurate. I'm an insecure person generally, but one thing that's always bugged me is just how little I'm good at despite being pretty successful in life. I can't draw, I can't play an instrument, I'm horrible at languages etc. People started praising me for being good at video games and I just sort of clung to that.

>>17000909
>When you lose, laugh.

I really like this idea. I'm definitely a 'fake it until you make it' person, I don't have a lot of confidence but I still force myself into things like teaching and public speaking roles. Perhaps pushing myself to smile and laugh can help me overcome my demons finally.

>>17000923
I definitely want to practice until I get better, it's just making sure I keep the right mindset to do so. I spent a lot of time in training mode today, felt really confident learning new stuff and then just ended up getting trashed. My execution is usually okay, I just get mindfucked easily and I end up doing exactly what the other person wants me to do when I get like that.

>>17000952
Always play on your own terms.
Seem simple enough, but it's best not to fall into a mental battle when doing anything. The path usually leads to getting more upset then you need to be.

I have another friend who is so try hard that he sometimes gets visibly pissed (gets really edgy and silent). Everyone notices too and they're not fond of him for that.