On Nov. 6, my fiance left me after 5 and a half years.
She moved to a different city for university studies in September. She is extremely busy with her new life. Which includes new friends and shit as well. She has a new friend she talks to a lot. I'm completely sure it's just a friend, but she talks more to him now than she talks to me.
It's fucked up how a thing like this can ruin 5 and a half years and a planned future together.
Anyway I begged, made a mess of myself etc. for 11 days now (don't judge, 5 and a half years is a lot!).
Is it time not to write back to her anymore?
What are the circumstances, why did she leave you? Was it just because she lives somewhere else now? She decided to break it off then?
>>16471182
She didn't feel like she had that kind of emotions for me anymore and if she did, she would only stay with me because she cared about my well being.
bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks
theyll never leave you unless they have another dick
your goal right now is to become too good for her, then you won't really give a shit other than for nostalgia's sake.
but cut contact please, you're wasting your time.
there is no option besides moving on and cut of the contact. been there .. i know it will hurt like shit, but afterwards you will be happy that you did it. and as you see, the contact now wont make you happier either.
btw the bigger mess you are, the more women tend to dislike you. never met a woman who tried to better/shape a person to something positive. they always wanted a perfect man and if shit gets serious they would always run ... not saying every woman is like this; i guess i didnt have luck with that.
>>16471185
Write her one last time telling her that you still love her and that the door will always be open for her.
Then start moving on with your life. It sucks, but it's just life. If she truly no longer has feelings for you, then you shouldn't want to hang onto the relationship anyways. Let it go and appreciate what you guys had for 5 years.
The problem is, part of me still hopes she will realize how she put emphasis on things not that important and meaningful as the thing we had... And come back...
Now.. I don't want to hope. It just prolongs suffering.
Was engaged for 5 months. 2.5 yrs total for a relationship. Even though short, it still impacted me a great deal. The way she left was very selfish, childish and she did it in a way that showed me my emotions were not important at all. It was traumatic because I identify as a sensitive guy. I went through the bargaining phase and wanted to make it work with her. Honestly, even though it hurts, the best thing for both of you is to cut contact and work on yourself. Be okay on your own. Do the things you couldn't have done because of her. Accept that just because you are not worth it to her, does not mean you are not worth it. Thank the experience for the lessons you will learn going forward. I still want the best for my ex-fiance, but from a distance. Pick up the book Rebuilding: When a Relationship Ends. It's a top seller in amazon. The author does divorce seminars and couples counselling. Now you know your red flags when you start dating again. You know what to avoid. Your standards are higher. You grow a great deal when it comes to your lifetime partner. Don't feel guilty for the things you might have done wrong because you did your best. You have no control over her decisions, but you do have control over your own to take care of yourself. There are many ungrateful women nowadays who expect perfection from a man. If you're willing to forgive someone's imperfections, but they leave you for yours which you are trying your best to fix, you shouldn't be around these people. Love is a DECISION. Love is not just a feeling. Do you think people in marriages that last more than 50+ years have the mindset that love is just a feeling? It's a choice. This woman is constantly waiting for you so she can feel love. She doesn't take responsibility to take action with love. Love is a decision. Not a feeling. It takes two. Be happy that she didn't go on her ego trip after the marriage. Better that you find out now that she's not a commited person after saying "yes" like that.
>>16471181
I'm going through the same thing right now after 2 years and 3 months. Listen to what they're saying about cutting contact, its for your own good.
She doesn't care about you anymore.
>>16471211
>and that the door will always be open for her.
OP it is important that you realize that YOUR happiness and well-being comes FIRST. Repeat it every day like a mantra.
Now you feel that you will never be happy without her, that your life doesn't make sense and that if you can't be with her you should just kill yourself. Accept that your brain is an imperfect machine, a messy cocktail of desires, primitive instincts and hormones which may give you some VERY weird thoughts right now, so be highly critical and aware of them, and be forgiving with your brain.
Let's address the jealousy issue: since you have officially broken up, that is now her life, her business. It doesn't mean you won't automatically feel jealous: our instincts don't give a shit about our social conventions. This is why the smarter ex-partners choose not to see each other anymore when they move on.
Make sure to hang out with your friends as much as you can and keep yourself busy, otherwise you'll end up torturing yourself in every little bit of free time. NO CONTACT is THE way, so please spare yourself much pain and just do it. Time will help, I promise.
