I have a group of friends, who hang out regularly, watch movies, chat, and just have little get togethers. Well one of our friends brought someone new into the group, and at first she seemed alright, extremely quiet, just huddled up and drew on a tablet hooked to a laptop and then started playing video games. The thing is, later in the night I started to notice things about her, especially when she chimed in to discussions we had. She seemed very, behind the times, not just with her gaming choices but her views as well, and the women of our group tried to talk with her, and discuss our views on the matter, but she didn't seem to care, nor see any issue with the topics we were bringing up. The men in our group, who usually are very progressive, almost seemed to regress, suddenly trying to defend her, as if her lack of caring at a near sociopathic level was acceptable. Could she tear our friend group apart? I have texted to my friends that maybe we should keep her out of the group, its been three get togethers with her and the story is the same... is it rational to think maybe she isn't a good fit for us?
You seem jelly as fuck, OP. Quit being a whiny bitch.
>>16434715
what? this has nothing to do with jealousy
It is rational to think that OP. Just because a friend brought her into the group doesnt mean she is also compatible. Since you like the group you have( without the new girl) i would say organise a meeting without her . define what everyone wants and likes and tell them your thoughts about this girl. Do they share the same opinion? Do they think you are just jealous or they too are uneasy about it? And go from there
>>16434723
The group is very split, it seems like the women of our group do not like her, however the men don't have any problem with her, despite the fact she seems like the kind of women they used to complain about.
>>16434722
It is precisely about that even if you don't wanna accept it. You're just afraid the new girl will steal your friends because her ideas aren't as retarded as yours. They're innovative and different. Yours are close sighted and intolerant. The males have obviously taken note of that. I suggest you detach from this group. They're better off without you. You fucking disgust me, OP.
>>16434735
Again it has nothing to do with jealousy, she just doesn't fit well with the group, her views are very outdated and simple minded where the group is more progressive.
Communication is key in a relationship, I'm sure a lot of psychologists would agree; it's not just key in romantic relationships.
>>16434710
>as if her lack of caring at a near sociopathic level was acceptable.
>her: I don't care about what you think, let's just hang out and do stuff
>you: Fuck you, bitch, we don't tolerate people with different opinions, gtfo my 4chan
>/b/
>>16434733
Yeah, doesn't sound like the women are threatened by her at all.
And what's wrong with having a different, 'outdated' opinion that doesn't match up with your own? I have plenty of friends with different opinions on different things to my own. You need to be mature enough to not get upset with someone solely because they don't follow the same line of tumblr-esque group-think that you do.
>>16434710
>She seemed very, behind the times, not just with her gaming choices
There's nothing wrong with retro gaming. There's especially nothing wrong with it just because it's a minority of gaming.
>behind times on her views as well
>3 get togethers
You've met this person 3 times, in which you failed to listen to her elaborations and in depth reasoning from a non-biased perspective, and now you're passive aggressively judging her and her views because they're different than yours?
That's childish and immature.
>>16434745
We tried to communicate to her, she just seemed to let it blow over her head, or gave really basic arguments to try and refute what we had to say... she didn't seem to want anything to do with being more open minded about things and being more critical about things.
>>16434760
We can only work with the information you give us.
What you're telling us isn't what happened, it's mostly your interpretation, and your interpretation could very well possible be completely wrong.
For us to objectively form reasonable opinions, you need to stop being vague, and tell us what happened, as unbiased and free from your opinions as possible.
>>16434766
ok I will give an example, she was playing a shooting game one of the times we were all getting together, it had your typical white male muscled protagonist shooting at what looked like muscular headless people and various weird monsters in incredibly gory fashion. I asked her if she played Mass effect, to which she replied, yes, I then asked her why isn't she playing that instead, it seems like a better game, it gives you context and reason for all the violence. She said the game she was playing did, she had to find the, as she put it "Big dude and shoot him in the face" I then talked about how mass effect had a deeper story and you still got to shoot people, to which she replied, it was just a bunch of shitty characters with shitty drama getting in the way of shooting things in the face. I tried to tell her how well I felt the story was written, to which she replied, story isn't needed in a game in her opinion, that if the actual controllable parts are boring she could... to quote her "Give a flying fuck" about story. I then just said alright and continued to watch, later in the game, a monster that was essentially a flying woman in a gold thonged bikini made an appearance, I said that seemed rather out of place and sort of sexist, to which she replied with simply, what? and I said that, that creature shows a negative depiction of women, that its just a flying sexualized object for someone to derive pleasure from shooting in mass. She simply replied that its just a something Witch harpy and that I am looking to deeply, I then told her that this is what I have been trying to tell her since she started hanging out with the group, that she just dismisses negative things in the games she plays, that she glosses over these problems, the depictions of women, the fact that they are merely play things and harmful images for women to consume. She then just looked at me like I was nuts. There is more to this if you wish me to continue.
>>16434800
Ya blew it op, too obvious now
>>16434800
whats her number I want to play serious sam with her
I don't have her number, and I only saw her steam account name a couple times, sorry.
>>16434807
Ya, certified master b8ter
Reminds me of the good times I spent playing Serious Sam.
>>16434807
I'm assuming you think this is bait, well it isn't, I post on here so I know this place isn't the nicest to people with my ideological background, I figured you all would be able to relate though, because I am sure other people have been in similar situations. A close minded, backward outsider entering your friend group.
>>16434831
Is that fanart? see what is the point in the bird women in bikinis, it just shows that sex sells, its shameless.
>>16434834
The problem is that you're being aggressive, nosy and judgemental about something extremely inconsequential. Her attitude towards videogames says pretty much nothing about her intellectual tendencies (what you tellingly call "ideology").
I advise taking a step back and realising you're acting like a fucking cultist.
>>16434800
I am the guy from >>16434723 it is a tough situation bro. If you had ended the convo at the half point it would be alright i think. But the last part about the objectification of women and all that? It is a serious issue but not something you bring up to someone you barely know . you seemed pretty hostile towards her, again we only have what you tell us happened. Why cant you let her enjoy what she likes without trying to shove your opinion down her throat? So she likes gory shooter games and she has played mass effect. Why does have your opinion to be better and more progressive and hers the more outdated? Again im trying to help, put yourself into her shoes . i mean ok she doesnt like the same things the group likes and maybe she indeed doesnt suit the group but just give her chance and maybe you all can learn something from here. Don't be so quick to dismiss her ;)
>>16434849
>>16434852
That was just one example and I got cut short by the post limit. She is also usually sort of rude, and is always wearing very crude T-shirts, the first meeting she wore a shirt that said Suck it Bono, the second meeting she wore one that said Sexual Tyrannosaurus, which I didn't mind but it made one of the girls in the group uncomfortable. Then the third meeting she wore a shirt that said Choking Hazard with an arrow pointing to her crotch. She uses the word Bitch alot among other and she also just in generally doesn't always seem interested in doing what the group is doing. Like on the second meeting we were going to watch a movie, one of the men in the group suggested letting her pick the movie, so she picked the movie The Predator, when me and the other girls got bored of it and decided to change it, when the new movie was picked, she just opened her laptop and started playing another violent shooting game instead of watching the movie with the group. Though no one in the group is together, she always seems to lay against one of the men in the group, without even asking, just sort of slides against them when she lays back, even sort of cuddling up, totally invading their space. She also has openly said some of the ideas we discuss when we chat are stupid, even going as far as saying one topic was "A non issue and is just people bitching to bitch." Our groups is progressive, critical thinkers, she just, doesn't seem to be on our level of discussion nor cultural and social awareness. She thought Donald Trump was "Funny as Fuck" and thought it would be "fucking hilarious" if he won the primary.
>>16434894
So she has different taste in movies than you, a different sense of humor, different political opinions than you and is being flirty with the guys of your group (who, based on what you say, aren't rejecting her).
What exactly is the problem here, besides you being intolerant to her ?
"Friends who want to stay friends don't discuss religion or politics."
Who the fuck cares? Stop being such a fucking activist and panic if she's not as "progressive" as you.
Just play some fucking games and have some good times, good friends are hard to come by and unnecessary drama like this can lead to something you'll really be regretting down the line
>>16434903
Her taste in movies is basic and Archaic, her humor is crude and offensive, and honestly racist at times. She has very backward political and social opinions, and she invades their personal space, I don't think they protest because I think they're just being nice. I am not being intolerant, me and the girls in the group have been very patient but she isn't receptive to listening to us at all.
>>16434910
You still didn't describe a problem other than "I don't like her".
There's no advice for that, it's not a question.
You also probably shouldn't presume what your male friends are thinking, based on what you said you're probably not very well suited to understand men.
>>16434894
wow you turned off the movie that she was probably very excited to show you guys and turned on another movie probably just to spite her.
big surprise that she got frustrated and didnt want to watch movies any more
also it would be fucking hilarious if trump won the primary let's be real here
>>16434917
No it wouldn't be hilarious, it would be awful, if he actually became president? he'd run the country into the ground, not to mention how racist and politically incorrect he is. Thats what gets me, she thinks hes hilarious, when he called all Mexicans rapist, and she herself is half Mexican. She should be concerned that a man like that is even allowed to be in politics.
and about her movie choice it was boring half the group, it was just a bunch of muscular men doing Army stuff and flexing, but not in an enjoyable way like in Magic Mike, it was just off putting and testosterone fueled.
>>16434924
Jesus christ lighten the fuck up you sound like such an uptight and a downright annoying person to be around
Like it or not your friends probably like this girl because she's chill, which you are clearly the opposite of, she's not afraid to be judged by uptight little bitchy activist girls like you
Get off the computer for a while and loosen up my friend
>>16434932
I don't see how being socially conscious and aware makes me an uptight activist... She isn't Chill, shes ignorant and close minded, and is very dismissive toward criticism of the movies and games she plays and watches.
I agree with most of the above OP. You rly havent provided any reason other than you don't like her. Which is fine. Lesrn to deal with it. Enjoy the company of others just fir the sake of having fun. Again see how you see the trump issue? She thinks its hilarious you think its not. Get off your high horse thinking you are always right. Personally i think this issue is serious but hilarious at the same time. Learn to see both sides of a coin
>>16434945
>>16434932
>>16434917
>>16434916
It isn't just me who has a problem with her though, its half the group who thinks she shouldn't hang out with us anymore, but from what one of the men in the group is saying shes coming to the next meeting.
>>16434941
Your opinion don't make you uptight and an activist, but your conduct does. You are agressive, nosy, pedantic, proselyte and intolerant. No matter how "good" you think your opinions are, it won't make people any more sympathetic of you if you act like an asshole.
>>16434949
>half the group
good job tearing your group apart with your shitty drama op
>>16434949
Ffs OP then its simple. The group has to split up. As you're saying its either the group together as a whole without her or split up. The fact that as you say half of the group is cool with her and the other half isnt then either you all get together and deal with it or say nothing and tolerate her. Its simple
>>16434952
I think I am very patient with her, shes just close minded, either acting like the problems I bring up aren't there, or that they are non issues and she won't hear or see it any other way.
>>16434955
Shes splitting up the group
>>16434960
I don't want it to split up, but she seems to have this hold on the guys... shes regressing them almost, its weird.
>>16434980
>the women of the group don't want her
>the boys do
totally not jealousy I see
>>16434983
It isn't... we're all just single friends who hang out, there is no jealousy.
>OP is obviously a woman
>"me and the girls in the group"
>OP is jealous
>OP is likely a landwhalius tumblrinus who is jealous because all the guys in the group are paying attention to the new cute girl
You sound like a total cunt
and is really a matter if she likes to watch gorey movies with muscular army men without thinking about the "complex plot" may hace? C'mon, you aren't respecting her likes at all, saying that she is closed-minded makes you a big closed-minded than her.
Everyone has different opinions/points of view, grown up and try to be more tolerate.
>She seemed very, behind the times, not just with her gaming choices but her views as well
>gaming choices
m-muh supreme tastes in videogames are better than yours, you pleb
You and the other girls are clearly jealous. This girl sound very chill, when you seem really uptight and wound up with your view on things. I can see why the guys like her.
>>16434710
Fake story, girls don't play games faggot
>>16434710
>no one is allowed to have different opinions
>I don't value the differences between people, only the similarities
are you a child?
>>16435015
I just think she has toxic ideas... that I don't think our group should associate with, half the group agrees.
>>16435099
Some things have cultural significance and artistic merit, a movie like The Predator does not... its just schlock.
>>16435105
She just plays violent games that are violent for the sake of violence, which is unhealthy and simple minded. There was no context for shooting the enemies, no story, no feeling behind any of it, it was absolutely mindless.
>>16435162
The guys are being influenced by her somehow, they were all game when it came to intelligent conversation and media, but now that shes joined, they bang rocks together like her.
>>16435194
Girls do play games, deal with it.
>>16435208
Some people have opinions that have reason and merit, she doesn't even have opinions on things that people should have opinions on. She cares about little and the things she does care about or stupid. She has the mentality of a child but shes 26
>>16434710
What is the purpose of this thread if you've already made up your mind?
>>16436143
If you want to be progressive, donate your time, effort, or money to a useful cause for women's rights, gay rights, or whichever causes you actually care about.
It's not "progressive" to scold your friends about the types of movies or video games they enjoy. It's just petty and controlling and obnoxious. You don't get to tell your friends what to think, and you don't get to decide that this new girl isn't their friend. If you start giving out ultimatums, they're going to kick you out first. Nobody likes an uptight, bossy bitch.
>>16436143
You should try to be more tolerant
>>16436194
at this point? how to get rid of her without breaking up the group, to figure out why she has such power over the men in our group.
I have been texting one of the guys in our group, and told him that we didn't want her there at the next get together, he was pretty angry.
>>16434834
And I thought 4chan getting this keked was just a meme. She's clearly better off without you.
is this group a job or something? why are you so concerned with rules or fitting in? I bet no one else is.
you should try to be more open and tolerant. healthy communities shift its new people and time.
Movies and games are consumed for different reasons by different people. Even if you enjoy something for its culture or artistry, that might not be why she does it. Fiction is supposed to be an escape, and maybe for her the violence is just a way to get out of the humdrum of life or she has enough of the emotional stuff already going on inside and she just needs an outlet. You've said that she doesn't have reason to her opinion, maybe she's not comfortable sharing these opinions yet.
I feel that a movie like Predator has more cultural relevance than Magic Mike but maybe that's just me. In any case, it doesn't matter. People can have different opinions and the fact that they don't align with yours does not make them wrong, even if they may be by cultural standards.
To be honest, it sounds like you've made up your mind. Have you ever thought that perhaps the.men in your group have tolerated the movie choices and opinions, or did they want to watch Magic Mike too? People are complicated. You can like mindless action films and still have intelligent discussion, it's not one or the other.
In any case, if you're that unhappy about it, air your concerns with the males of the group. If you can't find a way to resolve it, with either you tolerating her for their sake, or them isolating her for your sake, then I think a split would be best.
It sounds like you need to be a more accepting of the way other people think.
Progressive in video games used to mean higher FPS, better connectivity and inter-genre gameplay.
You "progressive" assholes robbed us of a word.
>I have texted to my friends that maybe we should keep her out of the group
christ you're an asshole. the fuck is wrong with you.
>>16436207
I do donate time into spreading awareness on women's issues. And I don't scold them on their choices, my friends make good choices and even the games and movies they watch they think critically about and are aware of their flaws... she didn't even want to admit to the flaws in her media... and even got hostile in defending some of the games we would glance at her playing.
>>16436234
Half the group wants her out.
>>16436235
I used magic mike as an example of showing men in a titillating manner... in the Predator, them men flexing was just them asserting hyper-masculinity and adhering to male power fantasy tropes. Magic Mike isn't culturally significant, its just its male flexing was more elegant and enjoyable... in the Predator it was abrasive.
>>16436242
I am using progressive in social context, though video games are getting progressive as well, she just seemed interested in keeping up her insulation in nostalgia and old mentalities. She was fine with mindless violence and reveling in male power fantasy without thinking critically about it as if seeing it for what it was, didn't matter at all. She said "It isn't male powerfantasy its just a kick ass dude, fucking shit up, and killing shit." she doesn't dig any deeper, as if she is incapable of doing so.
>>16436265
She sounds more fun than you, you're going to lose this battle.
>>16434980
>I don't want it to split up, but she seems to have this hold on the guys... shes regressing them almost, its weird.
Wow, men would be around a woman who doesn't want them to flagellate over their own gender in order to feel absolved? Who'da thunkit?
>>16436242
>You "progressive" assholes robbed us of a word.
progressive has meant that longer than there has been video games. progressive has meant that longer than there has been video anything.
>>16436265
You can't be for real. She doesn't have to agree with you about video games and movies. People are allowed to have different opinions, and you can't just decide to remove someone from your life just because they don't agree with you. You can't control other people, stop acting like you can. Your behavior is much, much more obnoxious and imposing than anything she's doing. You need to learn to mind your own business.
>>16434710
I've heard this shitty pasta before from the weird new girl's point of view. It's too fucking obvious, OP.
>>16436265
>she just seemed interested in keeping up her insulation in nostalgia and old mentalities
Do you understand how ironic this is? You want her out because her "unsafe" ideas are going to destroy your group-think-hug-box. You're shitting on her because she won't just believe what you want her to believe, when you're not even willing to see things from her point of view. You're fucking brainwashed.
Hey op, why dont you kill yourself you dumb cunt?
You sound like some tumblr whale that is "triggered" by anything thats not in your skewed hug-box view of a world. She deserves a better social circle than yours.
>>16436269
I am fun, me and my friends are fun, its just not good to bring toxicity into discussions.
>>16436275
We don't guilt the men in our group, and they conduct themselves very well, she just seems to bring about bad ideals and behavior.
>>16436304
She barely has opinions, instead just dismisses other people's... she said that me having a problem with the golden bikini'd harpies was "fucking stupid" and that "If it upsets someone or hurts their self esteem they should wear a fucking helmet and fuck off." how does that not seem rude?
>>16436323
Her point of view isn't worth anything, its so shallow and basic, she doesn't dig deeper or think critically, she basically has the mentality of a teenaged boy, but shes a 26 year old woman.
>>16436351
Thats kind of rude... I didn't mention anything about being triggered... nor am I a "whale"
>>16436143
>The guys are being influenced by her somehow,
It's called being attractive. But of course you are not jealous whatsoever.
>>16436427
I am not going to say shes unattractive, everyone is attractive in their own way, she just isn't conventionally attractive, so being attractive has nothing to do with it.
>>16436441
So she's unattractive and rude to everyone but yet somehow all the guys are "influenced" by her. You really think this is believable? She's either attractive, or you are much more ideological than your friends.
>>16434800
UGHHHHH you fucking suck OP try to be more subtle next time
>>16436448
Half the group doesn't like her and wants her gone, its only the guys who think she should stay in the group.
>>16434924
Oh man you had me until the last part about Magic Mike. Pretty good b8 I must say.
>>16434800
kek are you some kind of progressive tumblrina? Some people like story games, some people like action games. and some people don't give a fuck about muh sexism.
>stop liking what i dont like1!!1!!
>>16436514
she should give a fuck about sexism in games... seriously... it effects her, as much as she wants to deny it and act tough, it effects all of us, but shes fully willing to just be dismissive.
>>16436143
>Girls do play games, deal with it.
Oh my fucking god fuck off you special fucking smug cunt analflap snowflake.
>The guys are being influenced by her somehow
They're more comfortable around her chill-ass than around you annoying gossipy bitches. They're being guys.
I'm a cumdumpster and I would much rather hang with this other girl than you. You're annoying.
>>16436524
I doubt you are really a woman, no woman would debase herself like that... if you are one, then don't be so self depreciating, you deserve better.
>>16436555
Taiwanese origami board lingo doesn't actually mean anything of significance.
>>16436568
What?
anyway, I need to go to the get together, though I am wondering if I should even go...
>>16436581
You should probably stay home and continue pouting so you don't spoil the gathering
>>16434834
>close minded
>she doesn't agree with me so I don't approve of her and want to kick her out of the group
Do you really not see your own hypocrisy?
Probs some heavy bait, but honestly you should seek out people who don't agree with you. You'll learn so much more when you accept friends with completely different world views.
Btw, your example is dumb. Different people play vidya for different reasons. Big fucking deal.
>>16434924
>She should be concerned that a man like that is even allowed to be in politics.
Who decides who should and shouldn't be allowed to be in politics? Oh that's right, you think you should decide all things.
>half the group
Half the group doesn't want to hurt your feelings, so they just agree with you. Not all the girls actually dislike the new chic, they just don't have the balls to tell you.
THIS IS A TROLL
They like to roleplay as a SJW jealous of a non-SJW in her friend group.
http://archive.4plebs.org/adv/thread/15923946/
http://archive.4plebs.org/adv/thread/14491969/
IGNORE. SAGE. REPORT.
DO NOT FEED THE TROLL
>>16434710
I remember this bait, it was almost exactly the same. Op pretends to be some kind of liberal strawman sjw shitting on a bro-tier chick and everyone goes crazy.
Well our get together today was more of the same, when we tried to get her to think of consequences and think critically about the media she consumed she just shot it down, what was worse is, the guys seemed to be fine with her answers. She also rudely fell asleep during the movie we had playing... and when she woke up during it, she just opened up her laptop and played games instead of giving the movie a chance. I did try to understand her behavior but she is very frustrating... she is like talking to a brick wall, though to be honest, she wasn't as bad as she was the other get together and honestly, my friends seemed more annoyed and frustrated by her than I was. I guess I just surrender to the fact she won't see the light and will just keep to her simple views, I still find it toxic to the group and want her gone though... but at least it doesn't completely rake me across the coals, I mean, nothing became an argument this get together, not with me anyway... I do feel bad because one discussion did devolve into one of the girls of the group essentially yelling and lecturing her... which basically broke up the get together... I feel like my friend group is dissolving... what do I do?
She sounds like me :(
>>16434710
If this ain't b8 then OP is a giant raging cunt
you are being so tolerant and open minded by trying to kick her out of the group because of her views, shit like this is why people hate liberals.
Men act very different in front of women than they do normally, what you are seeing is how they act when they are comfortable.
>>16434710
THE FUCK AM I READING? What is this, your secret after school club? What do you mean by "Behind the times? Give examples.
Why would it bey your (and your group of friends) responsibility to "talk" to this girl about her being "behind the times"?
What the fuck do video games have to do with anything? She likes older games? So what? Most older vidja is infinitely better than the garbage that comes out nowadays...
