Im not confident enough to speak to attractive girls. Usually I expect them to make the first move but that's not how it usually goes. I suffer from depression and I have low self-esteem because im not the person that i want to be, which sucks. Ive been told that I am attractive from my friends but despite that, my personality cant cut it. I have a job and it made me a more social person I guess but I never really happened to transition into becoming a person with confidence. How do I go about to become a "chad"?
>>17361923
Work out , don't dress like a bum, learn skills or get into things that make you interesting, could be as simple as learning animal facts. Improve yourself Op that's what you can do. After that ask any girl you find attractive out, you will get rejected a number of times but its part of the process there is nothing wrong with you kid. But really improve yourself first.
>>17361940
Seconding this. As someone who is smack dab in your shoes OP I can tell you this is probably the most helpful advice you can get. Ball is in your court, but the good news is that making your next move is pretty easy
>>17361923
Everyone has essentially the same fears as you do, even attractive girls. No one likes rejection, no one likes feeling like they said something lame.
So the outcomes you dislike are the same ones everyone dislikes, men and women, confident and unconfident people both. You just perseverate on it more.
Stop thinking about the outcome. Focus on what you want to say, and listening to a response. Actually go about it by trying to say something nice to someone to make them feel good in the moment, rather than avoiding some bad possibility if it comes out wrong.
It's hard to explain. The best thing that worked for me, taking me from a shy insecure person to an initiator was a lightbulb clicking to "stay in the moment." Think about what you're saying and what effect you want it to have on her, rather than how you'll feel afterwards in bed alone thinking about it.
Girls don't make the first move because they don't have to. Waiting for someone to talk to them works for attractive girls. Not so much for guys (unless a real 10/10 maybe). You can be a whiner like /r9k/ or /pol/ and cry about it, or try to actually focus on being positive with people.
>>17361940
Thanks, I hope that working out can change me. I started exercising this week to gain weight and hopefully see some improvement in my body and as a person. Maybe.
>>17361951
not OP but this gave me a new perspective that I like
>>17361923
>Im not confident enough to speak to attractive girls.
You can't gain confidence in something without doing that thing. The unfortunate implication is that the first few times have to be done without the benefits of confidence. Everyone goes through this, even Chad; some just do it sooner than others.
I'm sorry, but there is no other way. As long as you wait to not be afraid before doing it, you will never do it, because you will never not be afraid. Instead, you have to face your fear and fight THROUGH it. Nothing else works. Nothing else can.
