Sup /adv/? I'll try to keep this short.
So one of my best friends is getting married in a month, and he has chosen me as his best man. The problem is I really hate his fionce. They're been together since 2010 when we were 18 years old and for the most part they've been happy. However, in 2015 she went to Australia for about half a year to study, and during that time she met some guy she desperately wanted to fuck. Instead of simply breaking up with my homie she forced him to agree on "taking a break" so she could cuck the poor bastard agaist his will without feeling bad about herself. She fucked the guy with no regrets but my friend didn't get laid with anyone else and now he feels fucking horrible. He didn't tell me any of this personally, he actually told my girlfriend at a party I hosted a few months ago. I think it's because he has known me for 20 years and he knew very well how I'd react. I'd tell him to dump the bitch right away. She is his first sexual experience (apart from a bj we got together with some slut in our teens) and I suspect he deep down wants to dump her but he hasn't got the confidence to do so. I think he can so way better than this cunt but I'm not sure what to do. She has also lied to him about stuff several times before, and forbidden him from smoking weed with me and our mates. Recently he found out she was living like fucking Snoop Dogg in Australia, blazing erryday. She is a liar, a whore and a hypocrite. And a fucking feminist vegan...
Tldr; my best friend is getting married in a month but his fionce is a dirty whore.
I swear to god OP if you don't do everything in your power to make him drop this bitch...
>>17193580
Either learn to live with your best friend's wife or lose your best friend.
He won't choose you over his wife.
Doing or saying anything will only hurt your relationship with him. If he asks for advice, tell him the truth without being an asshole about it. Don't let your hate for this woman overcome your concern for him. Your objective in this situation is helping him, not punishing her.
Trying to shake sense into a delusional person is just going to turn them against you, so if he doesn't ask, keep your mouth shut and just make sure you're there from him when he realizes he made a huge mistake.
>>17193580
This sounds like bait.
If he hates her, why the hell is he getting married?
Is she forcing him to marry her?
>>17193648
This
>>17193627
Believe me, I want to murder this bitch... but I'm afraid he will get offended and cut me off if I tell him my brutally honest opinion about her.
>>17193648
Yeah, I know he will always choose her over me if it ever comes to that. He is so loyal it's stupid. I can put on a smile whenever I meet them together but it rubs me the wrong way. I hate acting like a fucking phony.
On one hand I feel like I as his best man should stop him from marrying this whore since it's gonna fuck him up sooner or later. On the other hand I know he won't listen to my advice whatever I say and that my advice is only going to hurt our friendship. He has to learn from his own mistakes, but marrying a lying vegan whore is such a huge mistake it fucking keeps me up at night worrying about his future.
It seems like whatever option I choose, I'm a bad friend and my homie is royally fucked...
>>17193652
I wish it was bait, but it ain't...
He doesn't hate her, he really loves her despite all her flaws. Like I said, she was his first real sexual experience and he is fiercely loyal, like a well trained dog.
>>17193580
nothing you can't do he is enslave to the pussy and probably has a sex addiction that makes him go back to her.
>>17193689
>I hate acting like a fucking phony.
Stop thinking about it as acting like a phony. We do this kind of thing everyday for the people we love like smiling and grinning for your asshole boss, sitting through uncomfortable dinners with your girlfriend's shitty parents.
We do it because the happiness of the people we care about is more important than the suffering of the people we hate. We bite our tongues for the greater good and this situation is no different.
>On one hand I feel like I as his best man should stop him from marrying this whore since it's gonna fuck him up sooner or later.
You said it yourself. They've been together for years and for the most part were really happy. Despite your strong feelings about her you can't predict the trajectory of their relationship. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors and it would benefit you maybe to accept some of the aspects of the situation you might not be aware of.
You need to ask yourself how far you're willing to let your hatred take you because at this point you seem more concerned with how much you hate her than how much this is damaging him.
If being apart of his life and perhaps his future children's lives is a priority to you you need to come to terms with this and accept the fact that for whatever confusing reason, this is what he wants. Come to terms with it before its too late, because if he catches wind of you calling the mother of his children a cunt and a whore you can be damned sure you'll find yourself minus a best friend.
Whats more important, you being there for him or him admitting you were right?
>>17193716
>We do it because the happiness of the people we care about is more important than the suffering of the people we hate.
Thanks, that's what I needed to hear. I'll just keep my hatred towards her to my self until the day comes when he wakes up from this pussy-induced coma or she leaves him for a richer guy.
Or like you said, she might actually be the right one for him, even the mother of his children. He knows her infinitely better than I do, and for all I know she might have changed. I'm just extremely sceptical towards people like this, especially when they're women. All the lying and cheating and manipulative behavior... there are so many red flags.
But fuck it, I gotta let him live his own life and learn from his own stupid mistakes. There's nothing I can say or do that will change his mind towards her.
>>17193580
And in exactly what way is any of this any of your business?
If he's happy, in what way is your unhappiness with his choices a reason to interfere?
>>17193847
My best friend is about to marry a lying, cheating, bossy, manipulative, feminists, vegan, anime-obsessed whore. It's not my business, but it is my duty as a friend and best man to help him out however possible.
But I ain't gonna do shit for now. You guys have helped me realize he will ask me for my advice if he feels like he needs it. If he doesn't, I should shut up and wish them both good luck.
You don't have any information he doesn't have.
It's his choice, not yours.
>>17193847
Oh and as a sidenote:
He has been happy with her for the most part, but the forced cucking when she studied in Australia has really torn him up. They nearly broke up because of that, he was in no way fine with it. But she fucked the guy anyways and he didn't have the heart to leave her.
He is WAY too good for her. But my homie gotta realize that by himself.
>>17193888
>You don't have any information he doesn't have.
Shit, that helped me remember something I'd rather forget. I actually do have some info he doesn't know about...
She tried to kiss me at a party 5 or 6 years ago, behind his back. I turned her down and completely forgot about it until now.
>>17193580
if he agreed on a break and she fucked other dudes thats on him. he wanted to be a cuck so he went and did it.
I was in a similar position back in 09 with my friend putting a ring on some chick that was crafty, i just told him how i felt and he went for it anyway.
Best thing you can do is support his decision no matter how bad it is, and if shes really bad as you say there will be a divorce in no time so just let the dude learn from his fuck up and be there to help him pick up the pieces. Trying to convince him one way or another will just cause issues between the two of you and could potentially make him push you away in favor of the chick. Just be "i dont think you should, but if you want to ill be your best man"
>>17193580
>SHE got him to agree
He very well could have said no and ended it right then and there. Let your buddy make his own decisions, as shitty as they may be.
Your opinion obviously doesn't mean shit to him if he never talked to you about it.
>>17193580
I just saw my best bro get married to someone who is a mistake.
I can't really help you, anon. I just want to sympathize.
They only met 2 years ago and only started dating a year ago.
I tried to talk to him about it. I tried to tell to slow down.
But there's only so much you can do before you start becoming the asshole.
Sometimes, you gotta let them make a mistake and then be there for them when they need to pick up the pieces.
It's going to hurt him hard when it falls, and you know it will. You just gotta be a bro and not say "I told you so". Just help him back on his feet.
Because you're his best fucking friend.
>>17193880
some guys need to learn the hard way OP let her cheat on him again and make him pay alimony/child support. this when men get the wake up call when they are living in a car and pay alimony/child or in jail because he fail to pay alimony/child support.
>>17193960
He agreed only because she gave him an ultimatum; to either be cucked or break up, and he didn't have the balls to tell her to fuck off. Remember, she was his first and he is stupidly loyal.
>>17194027
>Your opinion obviously doesn't mean shit to him if he never talked to you about it.
Shit, reality is such a bitch. But why would he then tell my gf this story, who he doesn't even know that well? He must have known she would tell me what he told her. It seemed like a cry for help to me, but I might be projecting.
>>17194057
I'm sorry to hear that anon. How is your bro doing today?
Honestly, letting my best friend marry this succubus without at least warning him feels like a huge mistake. It's like letting your friend drive home from a party dead drunk, knowing he will crash and ruin his life, only to teach him a lesson. Fuck
>>17194061
lol that image, fucking saved
Luckily we don't have alimony where we live, only child support. Dear god I hope it doesn't come to that...
Ultimatum time. You gotta put your friendship on the line to save this guy. You win either way like this. One, he listens to you and dumps this girl, you saved him. Two, he doesn't listen and you get dropped, then you don't gotta deal with his depressed ass when shit hits the fan.
You sound like a good friend, best of luck.
>>17194144
If I force him to choose between the woman he believes to be the love of his life and me, he will without hesitation choose her. He is blinded by her pussy.
I also don't want him to be left on his own when this marriage fails. He is one of my oldest m8s and I wish him only the best. Even if I had forced him to choose and he told me to fuck off, I'd still be there to drink and talk shit after the divorce, as long as he doesn't get violent towards me.
>>17194144
Thx for the compliment btw
>>17193580
He seems to be under the impression if he marries her, he will always be the one to provide the cock when she needs it. What he hasn't considered is maybe the prior experience wasn't a sign that she can't stand to be away from cock for too long, but a sign that she gets bored and wants to try new cock. Marriage will not solve it if the latter case is true.
Besides, what comes next, "this work-related trip is so long can I fuck my co-worker?" Half a year without sex is fucking hilarious. Half a goddamn year. Your friend is adorably naive. Many people choose to avoid sex for that long after a breakup.
I agree with everyone telling you he's gotta figure it out on his own. But if you want to try to get him to ask himself the right questions...
>>17194199
Man, I can sympathize with you completely. But like you said, this dude is blinded by pussy.
You can't save those who don't want to be saved.
>>17194217
>He seems to be under the impression if he marries her, he will always be the one to provide the cock when she needs it. What he hasn't considered is maybe the prior experience wasn't a sign that she can't stand to be away from cock for too long, but a sign that she gets bored and wants to try new cock. Marriage will not solve it if the latter case is true.
You are absolutely right. He visited her during her trip in Australia for 3-4 weeks so wasn't even 6 months without his D, more like 3 at most.
>I agree with everyone telling you he's gotta figure it out on his own. But if you want to try to get him to ask himself the right questions...
Any suggestions? I'm all ears
>>17194245
Thx bro. This situation is fucking hopeless...
I forgot to add that she was also a massive slut before they started dating. She lost her virginity at the age of 13-14 and by the time she started dating my bro at the Åge of 18 she had slept with around 15 people. And considering that's the number she told us it's probably around 50+ in reality.
This is her btw. She is kinda attractive but that's her only god damn redeeming quality
>>17194282
With your continued rhetoric it's no wonder he wasn't convinced by whatever attempts to persuade him you've used so far. You're letting unrelated subjective opinions infiltrate your view. Feminist vegan whore who lost virginity too young. I've known feminist vegans who admitted to fucking more people and lost their virginity younger who I could not argue would be a bad spouse.
You have dishonesty, hypocrisy, and objectively moronic explanations for behavior. These are your facts. Leave everything else behind lest you appear to be a disapproving child.
>>17194324
lol
>>17194324
The fuck are you rambling about? I haven't voiced my concerns yet, I'm very conflicted about this issue. If I choose to talk to him about it, and that's a huge IF, I'm going to try and remain as calm and mild mannered as humanly possible.
The fact that you'd consider any feminist in the western world as a good spouse tells me everything I really need to know about you and your advice. Move along
>>17193648
>Either learn to live with your best friend's wife or lose your best friend.
>He won't choose you over his wife.
A lot of times I would agree with you, but it sounds like OP's friend is 20-ish (young to get married), and already fucking unhappy.
If unloading his problems to OP's girlfriend at a party wasn't a cry for help, then I don't know what is.
It's not a one and done conversation. I think you need to go indepth and honest. Attacking her right off is not recommended. "She's a bitch!" and so on is going to get him pissed and defending her, or grudgingly accepting of it. So take a different tack.
Make this about him. What does being happy mean to him? How does he want to be treated? Is he afraid of being alone? He needs to take care of himself and be treated well. There is a girl out there that will treat him better than her. Does he think she will improve? Does he want to be dealing with her bs in 5 years, 10 years, etc.? Does he want to drag a kid into it with a shit mother? If he afraid of being single? Why does he not respect himself? Essentially make it about him, and then also make it about the meaning of marriage. What does marriage mean to him? What is a good or a bad marriage? What is a successful relationship? What does he want out of a healthy relationship? And so on.
Maybe send your girl after him with this, or have her there. Sometimes having it come from a girl is helpful, but if you can have an emotional bro conversation, then that will do just fine. He needs to know that HE is important. Not that his fiance is a bitch, but that he is cared for, supported, you guys will be there for him if he calls it off, no judgement, and he has a safe place to go when he gets out of this hell.
Let him know he has another option other than marrying, but you gotta drop it after that. If he leaves, he leaves. If he doesn't, he doesn't. But it will force him to really look at what a marriage should be, and demand a better relationship with her.
>>17194349
Joke's on you, you've agreed with my other advice in this thread. I'm sorry that certain words trigger you. I'm simply telling you that half of your concerns are completely unrelated issues. Feminism was not the focus, past sexual activity was. Unless she was cheating at 13, it's irrelevant.
Further, suggesting that I could not ARGUE something does not imply that I BELIEVE it. I could not ARGUE it for the same fucking reason I am attempting to explain to you, child.
>>17194350
Best advice so far, thanks anon!
We're all 24-25 btw. He is in the prime of his life and she is only going downhill.
I'd love to have a long bro talk with him like you said, but we live several hours apart and I don't have a chance to see him until the bachelor party, and then it's almost too late - and a MAJOR buzzkill! Having this talk over the phone seems inappropriate but I'm afraid that's my only option. Either that or shutting up.
>>17194391
That may be because you weren't acting like a complete asshat until just now? Triggered my ass
Her being a feminist, vegan, anime-obsessed cock gobbler is not my main issue with this grade A cunt, but it's still part of the problem. It tells you something about her character, see? She is an across the board bad person with a mean pussy.
Fuck off
>>17194408
>acting like a complete asshat
I'm sorry that labeling the difference between useful objective fact and emotional rhetorical bullshit hurt your feelings so much. I also find it amusing that jumping from "you may appear as a child" to "you are a child" qualifies as enough of an insult for you to lose your shit. I'd assure you that from here on out I'll use less extreme language, but I'm afraid I may have touched upon your intelligence, so you have been warned.
>but it's still part of the problem.
This is fallacious reasoning that you want to believe.
>It tells you something about her character
It tells you what you want to hear.
>Triggered my ass
So triggered I'm laughing.
If you are too stupid to identify the point I have outlined and shaded in, I feel bad for you son.
Because for some reason I am pitying your blind reactionary ass, I'll give it one last shot that you certainly don't deserve:
Throughout this world, you will find people who have different beliefs than you. Your friend, for example, who is dating this person you hate may in fact sympathize with some of her opinions. Thus, it is important to focus on objective facts if you wish to be convincing.
>>17194468
Your condesending attitude is gonna get you knocked the fuck out one day, believe me. You seem like a pretty smart guy, honestly, but your huge ego is making you seem less intelligent and more like a narcissistic dick with a big hard on for your brain and zero social skills. I ain't even mad bro, just kinda annoyed by your bad behavior.
The last time I spoke with my friend he found her outspoken feminism annoying and hypocritical, her vegan lifestyle a joke, her past sexual history shameful and her taste in anime (and entertainment im general) plebian at best.
[spoiler]she forces him to watch Naruto and Bleach[/spoiler]
>>17194349
All women in the western world are feminists...
For example: If you ask a woman if she believes that women should vote, and she says yes - then she is a feminist. Or, if you ask a woman if she believes women should not be treated like property, and she says yes - then she is a feminist. Here's another: if you ask a woman if she believes women shouldn't have to live in fear of getting raped and then having the whole village turn on her, calling her a whore and possibly killing her for 'allowing' herself to get raped; and she says yes - then she is a feminist.
I would cut off and give you my arms if you could find a woman in any part of the world who does not, at least secretly, hold some feminist belief. And obviously I mean the true meaning of feminism here - not the pretend feminism man hating bs that is spewed by a vocal group of insane women now.
>>17194516
In the western world those beliefs are called common sense, not feminism.
>>17194508
>Your condesending attitude is gonna get you knocked the fuck out one day, believe me.
THAT'S the problem. You're new here. No one cares if you're rude as long as you contribute something to the discussion.
Considering your friend actively dislikes everything about his girlfriend, you may have a chance. You probably should have included that in OP. Is there ANYTHING he likes about her other than her standard-issue vagina? Makes his situation a lot more embarrassing. Okay to be cucked as long as you get sloppy seconds?
Honestly the biggest thing in your way is that he's never fucked anyone else. He thinks that whatever small emotional benefit there is to this relationship is somehow unique to it.
>>17194541
In the western world I can find plenty of examples of people who disagree with all of those views. The fact that a lot of women and all manlets incorrectly apply the word to political unrelated bullshit does not change the definition. I'm sorry that you are equally naive to the people you hate that must be hard to live with.
>>17194550
I'm not new here, I've been lurking and posting since '08. And yes, you are right you don't have to be polite - but there is a huge gap between being blunt and being a condesending dick. If you want to contribute to the discussion and actually change someones' point of view, it's smart not to actively try and piss them off.
To be fair my friend doesn't dislike everything about her. She is quite laidback in some ways, kinda funny and very social.
>Honestly the biggest thing in your way is that he's never fucked anyone else. He thinks that whatever small emotional benefit there is to this relationship is somehow unique to it.
That last paragraph is spot on.
