Post a pape that makes you feel something and say what's on your mind
I feel betrayed right now desu
Sometimes I just want to be relaxed but I always seem to be stuck in work.
>>6434690
treat people the way you want to be treated; reply to others if you're waiting for others to reply to you; do not betray promises, etc. kinda like karma
I feel bold and brash
>>6434653
I just want a nice, quiet place where every one is good friends every one and no anger
I feel calm and content.
I'm losing touch with what I am. I just got diagnosed with schizophrenia and I'm pretty sure my brain is just rotting from the inside out.
Sometimes i wish i could run away but then i remember that there are people that need me to be there and responsible for them.
the one person i want to talk to doesnt reply but everyone i don't want to talk to messages me first.. fuck everything. this is a shitty feeling. lonely for 1 person..
My friend. Things were perfect that fall, but it's been two years. All the hope and wonder I had for this city went up in the flames of drama.
I feel lost in this world.
>>6434850
>>6434810
I can relate. I hate that sick feeling you get in your chest when you're ignored by the one whose attention you want the most.
>>6434765
iktf. I envy those who can lead their lives as they wish.
>>6434752
That sucks anon but you have to keep fighting 'till the end. I've been diagnosed with depression recently but schizophrenia is a whole other thing.
>>6434691
Do you enjoy your work?
I hate myself and no-one will ever know
I am numb and time is moving too fast
>im 20 years old
>been single my whole life
>knew this one girl
>used to spend time with her
>was about to confess my feelings
>got a message from her saying she is dating someone else
>cried for 1 day
dem feels
God is dead and I have killed him
I feel cold and miss someone.
I am so tired of human beings, I hate that we don't live in peace while we could.
>>6434963
Sounds like you haven't ever been rejected.
I'm growing detached and painfully apathetic; I've felt like my life has been paused for 4 years. I don't wanna see 30; almost three decades, and nothing to show but failure after failure. No degree, no job, no decent work experience because of deteriorating mental health over the last 10 years; girlfriend left me for another guy (thanks for the lies, Ash); only have my best friend left and I don't even feel close to him anymore. I hold it all in anymore and it hurts like hell. It's a struggle to get out of bed. If it weren't for my little sunshine yellow pills, I'd never get out of bed. Pathetic.
I hope to God I don't hit 30: there's nothing left in this world for me beyond that point.
>>6434699
Is that in Basel? I was there last year and I could swear I strolled down that street.
Most big events that happen in my life somehow seem unreal. I forget that friends have stopped talking to me, that it's no longer summer and that I actually have to do homework, and that a major change in my life is coming up soon. I feel like I'm watching someone else's life go by.
>>6435067
10 years behind but I feel the same way. Was like that by the time I entered high school, now I turn 20 in a few months and it's really fucking with me. Shit dead end job, lost all but one friend and my girlfriend and me have become detached over the past while. wake up every morning wanting to die and going to bed the same way.
shit's rough but i'm still holding out some hope that something will break and things will change. who knows.
I just always want to go on walks at night and forget that I'm someone who exists to others
>>6434752 is me
>>6434900
i'm not a person any more. i'm a collection of thoughts which don't align into one given brain. more than half of those thoughts are lies. how am i supposed to fight when i can't tell what's real any more? maybe i just need to accept that my brain is dead and let the body follow
I want to do something, anything, but life has been to comfy lately to bother
I've been becoming more and more obsessed with the idea of going somewhere remote. It's not that I hate people, I enjoy company as much as the next guy, but part of me just wants to be alone, cut off, and solitary for a few good weeks.
I want to buy a small van, put a bed in the back, stock up on food and supplies and just leave. I want to chase sunsets and be dwarfed by massive forests. I want to listen to my favorite music on the top of my van with a nice cool breeze hugging me all around. I want to drink homemade coffee and photograph the woods at sunrise.
I just want to go somewhere where I can truly be alone.
I want to find a meaningful profession for me, I have already been in two universities. Just last month I was too afraid to make more changes in my life, but New Year has given me a (false?) sense of assurance.
Guess i'll keep on going.
>>6435076
/thread
i want to go exploring
Man, I fucking hope I can get into Recon soon.
>>6435357
I've felt them feels before anon.
I'm still in high school and just feel meh. I don't really talk to anybody except a few close friends, I'm a little awkward socially but not freakishly so. I'm not disliked but my peers, but I'm not liked. It's hard to phrase but I don't really care, but I kinda do. I feel neutral.
>>6435693
kudos for the ambition bro, best of luck
>>6435067
First world problems. Fucking grow some balls and get a job and move your ass around and you'll start to feel better. Love you
>>6435067
>>6435144
For my depression, I take an antipsychotic that prevents me both from hurting so bad and from enjoying myself as well. And as a high-functioning misanthropic manchild in the late second half of my twenties, my life seems to be going nowhere.
I was expelled from a prestigious Law school in the back-water piece of shit dumphole that is “my country” (To which I feel no allegiance and owe nothing but complete disinterest) in 2011, having wasted precious years of my life and lots of my parents’ money.
Ever since I live with an unresolved shame and also feel my IQ drops lower by the day, since I was not smart enough to end up a lawyer. In hindsight, most likely I would have ended up miserable as a lawyer as well.
Single for two years now, having been dumped by a lovely girl on whom I cheated with a fuckin’ skank during one of my numerous dead-end jobs waiting tables for assholes. The only sex I’ve had since that time was so horrible I feel emotionally castrated and physically undesirable that my social anxiety with people has propelled to a new level into Tinder bullshit, adding up to my loneliness, inadequacy and lack of general self-esteem.
Later, I enrolled at a community college, which turned me into a pariah in the social echelon, since community college graduates are less than vermin in the scheme of local things, destined to dead-end and underpaid back-office jobs.
>>TL; DR: More stupid by the second, no degree, guilt-ridden single guy, decreasing amount and quality of friends, underpaid dead-end job, incapable of reciprocating love to those who are for me (My old folks, with whom I still live...) and feeling unworthy of love, praise or respect by others, I can only think I’d be better off killing myself or leaving this country in hopes to find a place and people I belong. Or at least, to find a nice view to end my life…
>>6434698
I enhanced this in photoshop to get rid of the jpeg compression and make the colors a bit more vibrant.
I feel weird but I can't explain how. I don't think what I am feeling has a word for it, the closest thing I can think to explain it is I feel like I am slipping.
The days are blending
>>6435873
i feel for you man, i hope shit clears out soon. i deal with boderline and any mental illness like that really fucks up every day life. not sure what to say other than i feel what you're dealing with.
>>6435928
Thanks, anon.
I could really use a hug and good cry, but thank you for your consideration!
>>6435093
Definitely not Basel, I lived there for two years. Basel rarely, if ever, has snow on the ground, and never that much.
Fuck all this depression, I feel amazing. I just spent a few years living abroad, then switched fields to a job I love and am excelling in. I just moved to a new city late last year for this job; it's been a ball exploring it and meeting new people. I started seeing an awesome girl and just cooked dinner for the two of us tonight.
>>6435961
You're still young m8.
Change while you still can even if you're future seems bleak.
I've been through the same shit.
Had bad grades, was addicted to smoking meth and just basically wanted to die.
Finally toughened up and joined the Marine Corp at the age of 17 and goddamn has it set me straight.
I don't know what kind of goals you have or if you even have any but you gotta pursue something that positively affects you.
Quit using those drugs man , the fact that you wanna change lets me know you at least have some motivation to start with.
You're gonna be running up a hill of shit trust me but you'll make and be proud you came out different.
It ain't easy giving up drugs and hell was it difficult for me to give up meth but thankfully I made it out after using it for a year and a half.
Trips me out how long ago that was, I was just your age too.
Now I'm 20 chasing the dream of trying to become someone out here.
You can do it man, you know you can.
Turned 20 two months ago and I just started community college.
Glad I still have time to take advantage of an education. This time I can't fuck it up like I did during high school.
Hopefully I do good so I can transfer out to a good university.
I thought 20 was getting old but I'm barely getting to know myself better than before.
Feel like I'm not going with the flow, instead I'm making my own flow.
I'm embracing my struggles and trying to become a better man.
I wanna make it out of this town and never look back but never forget where I came from.
Life is good but it could always be a thousand times better and it will always be that way even when I think I've made it successful.
I'm just tired of living this way and want to make it better.
Meet new friends, date new girls, open other doors life has to offer and just move the fuck out.
We're all gonna make it.
>>6436107
That was beautiful man. Thanks for that.
>>6436107
God damn. This shit hole of a site pulls diamonds for me every now and then. I love you.
>>6435076
The sad thing is familia that this is what people think even at older ages. Nobody grows up. If you were old enough to understand that you wouldn't call these anons edgy. Which leads me to the ever so interesting conclusion that you're a teenage fuckface. Go shit all over yourself on /b/
>>6435849
Thanks, bro.
I Have attained a certain level of apathy due to the lack of social interaction , affection , ambition , pleasure , Anger , excitement , happiness . Just nothing complete emptiness . I have No soul .
I want friends that hate frogs like I do
I've got everything in the universe on my bucket list and no time to do it in
>>6436107
respect your story and life, brother
I am motivated to better myself in every way.
>>6435144
This might come off as assholish but, you're only just turning 20.
Take heart in knowing you have roughly 3-5 times the current amount of time you've been alive, and probably 6-12 times the amount of time you've been considered a rational person left to live.
Like it or not, shit will get worse for you at some point, but thankfully things will likely get a lot better as well.
As for me:
Sitting here at home. Bored isn't the right word, but i'm not entertained either. Ennui is too strong of a word. Due to the economy tanking here in Alberta, I was forced to take 2 weeks of "vacation" from work starting the week of christmas, so until mid january i'm barely scrapping by covering bills with paychecks. My job awesome, but i spend all day there waiting to get home to live my life, but get home too tired to do much. Weekends should be my time, but, i just spend them surfing 4chan and I don't know why. So here i drift. Slowly by /wg/ today, for no particular reason then its a board i ain't been to recently.
>>6436733
>>/s4s/ my friend
You know, you guys, you strangers, wherever you may be while you are reading this, you'll be the only people to whom I will speak earnestly about my life right now.I spent the past 5 years steeped in delusions of grandeur, telling myself that I'm better than other people and destined to do great things, and I insulated myself from reality with video games and movies. Video games were a particularly bad vice, I channeled my delusions into them as I charged the beaches of Normandy and turned back the tide of Nazi Germany, grew my small nation into an empire of unfathomable power, defeated Cesar's legion and the NCR in one fell swoop and traveled through the omega relay to the center of galaxy to stamp out the collector threat to humanity.I was charming, powerful, rich, admired, respected and feared, and then in August of 2015 reality hit like a fucking locomotive.I'm a fucking mess, I'm 23, no degree, shit job, soft body, cavities in my mouth, socially awkward, i have an overpowering tendency to procrastinate and I feel week and discouraged.I've been sinking lower and lower into vices and depression, Video games were a drug, something I used to anesthetize myself from a painful reality.
The universe is just a beautiful and magnificent place but there is no true meaning to it. We are merely thrown into it for a short period of time to experience it's majesty, and we can shorten or lengthen our time here based on our actions. So I'm dedicating 2016 to turn my life around, it's gonna be hard, no doubt about it, I'm to much of a bitch to have basic conversations with people and I leave my room only for food like a fucking rabbit.I will get discouraged often no doubt but I know one thing, I don't want to squander my only life, I want fresh mountain air in my lungs, challengers and aspirations,love, heartbreak, hope and growth, to leave a legacy for my children and to be an inspiration to those in need, and I'm gonna get it, I fucking swear /wg/, however hard it may be.
>>6436929
You do you man go chase your goals hell yeah.
What are your plans if I may ask?
I feel really torn and my inferiority complex is running wild. I met a gorgeous woman recently, like we can actually talk about things and have pretty similar taste in the vidya / nerd things... She's like everything that I could ever hope for in a human being, but I'm in the worst position possible for pursuing a relationship of any sort; no car, shitty job, and struggling with finances due to some shit that happened a few years ago.
I want to give chase, but I feel like I would fail in the marathon that is the average relationship these days... I don't even know how I can overcome my anxieties in regards to this situation.
>>6434653
This picture inspires me, but what's on my mind is unrelated.
I'm currently discussing plans with a few friends to abandon the US and head North to live innawoods. I know it seems far-fetched, but we actually have a plan and a decent amount of gear/supplies stockpiled. None of us really have anything tying us down aside from shitty jobs. We all have military experience and I think we could pull it off.
None of us are furries, so I'm posting this ITT instead of on /k/.
>>6436954
Go for it anyway. Right now, she's wondering when you're gonna make a move. Take it from some one who was in your position a few years ago. Go for it anyway.
>>6436961
Why not just live with canadians directly, instead of in our woods? Heck, move anywhere in BC and do both at the same time since almost every BC city was a forest they decided to make houses in.
>>6436090
Holy shit man, you were doing meth for a year and a half before the age of 17?
Props to you for kicking that shit and getting your life on track. Semper Fi, Devil Dog.
>>6436978
We all really just want to get away for a while. See how it is to live off the grid.
After we've done it though, who knows? I just don't want to be in the US anymore, and I've always felt pretty passionate about the wilderness. Now seems like a good time, and I've got a few good friends interested in the idea as well.
Just don't report me to the mounties, please.
>>6436986
N worries.
Just make sure you bring a toque eh?
Over the past year I fell back into alcoholism, lost touch with who I am, and I'm currently investigating potential stomach cancer. The love of my life left me this week, and she's completely justified in it because she can only put up with my destructive self for so long. I can't even chase her because I know that I'll just hurt her and I can't let myself put her through that anymore. I have good friends who are doing their best to help me help myself sober up and get my health in order, but I can't help but be disappointed in myself for slipping back to such a low when I had so much going for me. I know I'm capable of being such a better person regardless of what crap life throws at me and I'm just deeply disappointed in myself.
I made this pape a long time ago because I'm a lovecraft geek
>>6437009
anything in particular stopping you from going back to school? or seeing your loved one?
>>6436107
respect man, go get em
I just feel lost honestly.
After high school, I've kinda lost direction.
Sure, I'm working full time, but I've only had one girlfriend my entire life.
My days have been filled with vidya, and on the weekends, I see my friends occasionally.
I use TInder (because fuck it, it gives my hormones some satisfaction.)
Still haven't had sex, and I'm almost 19.
I'm glad that every bad thing that has ever happened to me happened. I'm glad I felt so defeated and alone before because I know I can change. I'm glad i'm broken, because its the diamonds that are cut that shine the most.
I can do what I want to do and even though I know no one cares enough right now, I'll make them care.
>>6437073
Been there done that. Don't rush yourself about sex you might be only 19 but it'll come and go.
If sex and having a girlfriend are the only thing you care most about at the moment then anon you are more than just lost.
You're still 19, go find something that interests you and study it. Go to college while you still can. Take advantage of your diploma and take it to the next level.
You'll meet more girls in college and best of all, you'll find direction.
>>6437090
I want more than a girlfriend, but it just seems like girls are fucking retarded and don't know what they want, either that, or I'm just really bad with dealing with them.
I know it'll happen eventually.
Thanks man.
>>6437088
I lyk dis.
I'm finally free. 5 years of drug addiction and it finally clicked. I will be the lion that leads again, the volcanic explosion of fire and passion that once flowed through my veins that inspired others and gave joy freely, will once again be the drive of my life. I know I'm not there yet, and the light inside has only flickered a small shine, but I'm glad I can finally see the path ahead of me.
I love you, Dad.
>>6436811
How? Like that's interesting but..
Do you keep track of your progress in each "way"
Or is this just an in general thing that has motivation but no direction
I wish I could give a bunch of you a hug. I know it probably doesn't help, but know that someone somewhere cares about you even though you don't know them. This pape always make me laugh for some reason. Maybe it'll make you laugh.
>>6436090
Thanks for taking the time to encourage me m8, it means a lot. The past few days have been important to me and I'm ready to straighten myself out. Even though your post may seem insignificant it did help me to see I'm not alone... I finally feel like I can change myself into the man I've wanted to be for the past few years. Time to stop my angst and pessimism and actually make a difference for myself.
>>6435838
A year after high school you'll forget all about it. Once you move on, especially to college, life takes a new direction and the chapters of the past are irrelevant.
like i need to take a math class
Doing this raid solo for my first time ever doing the raid was really fun. I feel almost all content in vista should be doable solo, even if it's super hard.
I hate women
The end of 2015 was hard to go through.. my grandmother, aunt, and grandfather passed away.. then not long after my girlfriend cheated on me and left with my daughter... 3 1/2 months working at my new job I met her.. the only one that can stop my demons from coming out. She helped me from thinking negative thoughts.. I hated my life from where it was headed but talking to her being around her I don't feel pain anymore.. I have never felt like this twards anybody only my daughter...
>>6435067
I'm 25, no job, no career path. All but one of my friends live at least hundreds of miles away, and where I live is a cultural deadzone. My mortgage company for the house I inherited is trying to fuck me over. But connecting with people over the internet, reading and listening, I feel like I've learned a lot. I think that more of us are in this boat than we realize. We live in a time where college degrees are as throw-away to employers as high school diplomas, and where our education system doesn't teach us about how the real world actually works. College students are tens of thousands of dollars in debt and white-collar companies are overloaded with people going down the same path looking for the same jobs. We've been conditioned to fear the increasingly less unbeaten path of under the table and odd labor. The very concept of working when you want to work has been thrown out the window in favor of submission to nameless faceless superentities know as corporations
>>6437257
cont >
We're programmed to believe there's a system, regardless of whether it works or not and that if we fall out of that system then our world is over. But the reality of the world is that there is only chaos. All these laws and rules are ignored by the very institutions which use them. In fact in an ironic twist they use their rules to break their rules. Im the furthest thing from a vegan hippie, but even I have to appreciate something like freeganism, the sheer resourcefulness of just taking perfectly palatable food which because society cant sell it, it simply discards. Something like that gives me hope, nay, makes me certain that even if everything falls apart for me, there's still a world which exists beyond my tiny shelter in the middle of this dull, empty forest. In fact, on some level it makes me want to fail, it makes me want this bureaucratic, burdensome nonsense being foisted upon me by the the banks to crumble and leave me with no reason to stay.
one moerrrrre
>>6436107
I'm 25 anon, and let me tell you in retrospect I hated who I was until I got to about 23/24 and I still think I'm changing every year.
You've got plenty of time to get it all together senpai.
We'll be fine.
>>6437279
>forgot pic
>>6437257
Pretty much this, the cost of maintaining a decent life is always increasing and pay, or decent jobs for that matter are always drying up, companies are actively looking for ways to screw their employees over as much as possible to maximize gains. Unless you wanna spend your life as a corporate mule, doing long hours for shitty pay to make assholes rich, you need to find your own way in life, and that['s what I intent to do, I'm just gonna spend a few years working my butt off at improving myself, networking, etc and then I'm gonna start making money, not "earning" it.
>>6436941
I've already deleted all my games, movies, etc, and stopped wasting money on useless crap, I'm putting most of it into savings since I'll need it later. I have started doing a couch to 10k thing and lifting weights. Bought a bunch of books on manners, how to deal with people, how to be organized and disciplined. I got a car. That's about it so far, but only 10 days into the year. I honestly can tell you much right now. I spent so much time avoiding reality with videogames that I have no idea what I actually want in life and what is realistically possible. So like I said 2016 is probably not gonna be an easy year, but a completely necessary one nonetheless.
>>6436979
Yo honestly that shit as much as it fucked me over, it changes your character and it's fucked up to see yourself go to waste.
That piece of shit drug ruined me for quite a while but I'm glad I can say I made it out of addiction when most people don't especially the age I was while abusing it.
It changes you when you look at yourself in the mirror and notice the sucked in cheeks and pale skin. The days it hit me was when I had weighed 116.
I was already in the poolee program for the Marine Corp but I was still addicted.
That was one of the major reasons I quit. What kind of fucking 16 year old weighed 116? Only a disgusting, heinous piece of shit degenerate. I don't know why I wanted to just die so badly. I didn't care I'd I overdosed.
>>6437171
I can vouch for this
I went to three different high schools in 4 years (dad is army). My sophomore and junior year were in an international school in Munich Germany, and my senior year was in some small town in Pennsylvania. It was quite a change. At that point I just stopped bothering. Up until my senior year I had always been very social, had lots of friends, generally did pretty well off (especially in europe). My senior year I was just so exhausted from doing it over and over again. I started eating lunch by myself in the hallway in front of my next class. I never went out, I never really did anything except go to the gym and go to school. But I kind of enjoyed it. I liked being alone and basically having to figure life out on my own for a year. Now I am in college and I'm sort of a hybrid. I have friends, I'm social, and I'm involved, but I still keep to myself 90% of my free time.
One thing to keep in mind though, don't ever turn into one of those edgy fuckers who says shit like "I hate people and humanity, I'm a lone wolf, etc" because then you're just a loser. It's ok to enjoy solitude, but once you become self righteous about it, you're just an asshole. The best way to get people to respect your lifestyle is to be humble and be yourself.
>>6434912
You're a fucking faggot.
>>6434810
I understand you friend. Just be strong, distract with something like games, movies or try to learn something new
I'm only 18 yo, I have good friends, a family that I love, but I have just no idea what's going on : never watch TV and I don't care about the news or the real world... I feel lost but I don't know why, maybe because I've lost all motivation
>>6434653
One day I will be a corpse.
>>6437897
Where is this? The location of the wallpaper?
I have a terrible habit of forgetting my life's lessons and generally screw things up when I can't make the head/heart separation. Also all the other generic problems.
>>6436072
Good on you anon, I hope life keeps treating you well!
>>6436700
That's because souls aren't real bro. You're an assembly of biological parts
Miss you every day bro, would give anything just to talk to you one more time.
I'm afraid that my depression will never be manageable, gone through so many meds and working on getting back into therapy.
>>6436733
>nigga stole my WP
I like the fact that this upset some of my veganfag friends
>>6435693
If you're fr
G luck man
>>6437171
>>6437513
Thanks for the kind words anons, I'll keep them in mind
Nothing to say here, it's just so calm.
>>6437257
is that tattoo white supremacy or something? I like it but i dont want someone behind me to think im a fucking nazi.
Feeling pretty chill as I wait excitedly for the end of Western civilization
>>6438259
It'a from a game m8, bioshock
>>6434699
that looks just like the main city in dragons dogma
This one makes me feel like I'm alone most of the time
Feeling edgy
Every day that passes by, I feel like this world is getting worse. I see problems with a lot of things in this world yet I know I have no power to change things how I want them to be nor will people stand up with me and fix them. I also know that my opinion on the matters isn't a fix-all. Sometimes I wish humans were more similar in how they solved these issues.
I have a darker side that I hide from people because I know that most people will see me in a negative light, but I feel that to fix a few of these issues involves humans to die. What I find interesting is that I don't really care about humans dying. I see humans almost like a plague that is killing everything they touch. Perhaps I am just one of those people that want to watch the world burn...
>>6436929
If you see this, anon, remember to take small steps. If you try to do everything at once, you WILL fail. Rome wasn't built in a day, etc. I know this from experience. I'm still shaping myself into the person I want to be, but I'm so much better than was even a year ago. A little bit at a time.
im cringing, you people are fucking faggots
>>6437298
It's not gonna be an easy year for sure but no one ever said it was gonna be in the first place.
Go get them goals man.
I just wanna get by.
Every day I feel like I'm a little bit closer to completely falling apart, yet I proceed to stare at this accursed screen day after day, I know the actions that need to be taken, yet I sit here, petrified by my own mind.
How do I escape.
I'm on the emotional upswing again. I was down for awhile, then I was up, then for the last two days I was just all around uneasy, feelings of worthlessness, etc. Now I've beat them back again. Going to do what I do best: translate, program, and write. And I feel confident again in all those things.
I feel lonely and loved at the same time.
I just want a good wallpaper.
Emotionally, I'm unprepared for this semester. I don't know if I can pull it off but I have to. I have hope from a few things in my life, which is good, but man 2015 was so difficult and I need more time to heal.
I'm at a point in my life where I've looked back to my golden years and realized I've done nothing with them. After high school, I went to a private college and flunked out in one semester, then I got a shitty retail job and proceeded to smoke pot, play vidya and whack off for four years. I've sobered up recently and now these pangs of regret are stabbing into me. I want to go back to college. I want to hold onto some fucking money, for once. I want to get into shape, physically and fiscally, so I can be comfortable enough in my own skin to get out there and meet someone. I'm tired of being the only person on my social feed that's single and going nowhere and knowing that my dad, who worked his ass off as a single father raising two kids, is disappointed in me, maybe even thinking he failed as a parent. That's what kills me the most. He's a great dad, I'm just a shitty son.
tl;dr, I think I'm gonna join the Army. Active or Guard, haven't decided which. Studying for the ASVAB now, last time I took it was back in high school and I scored an 88 iirc. A 90 will qualify me for engineering, which is what I want to go to college for. I'm nervous, I don't relish the thought of sacrificing my civil liberties and possibly my life for a Commander-in-Chief I know I'll despise, or a group of old men that couldn't give a shit less about me. I don't like the idea of being broken and re-molded, but shit, there's not a lot of me to break at this juncture. I gotta do it. I gotta do something, before it's too late.
This one say to me "we're making do with a shitty situation."
That's all any of us can do, really.
I just graduated and I have a job, but I don't know if I'm ready to be an adult yet. I want to live in my small comfortable town I've known since forever and see the people I love. I'm terrified to move across the country and start a new life for myself.
My anxiety and paranoia is driving away the love of my life I've been with for almost 5 years. I'm scared she'll leave and I'll never find anyone else like her. I'm unlovable.
>>6438541
You're only human Anon, find the strength to follow your dreams.
small
unimportant
ridiculous
angry
hopeless
sad
>>6434653
This is like the thread that we all didn't know we needed.
I'm not clicking at all with any of my close friends or family members anymore, most of whom I've known for my whole life. It took me a while to accept that fact.
>>6438497
here you go
>>6434699
>>6434752
>>6434765
>>6434850
>>6434939
>>6434912
>>6434963
>>6434996
>>6435013
>>6435067
>>6435130
>>6435144
>>6435246
>>6435294
>>6435362
>>6436107
>>6436700
>>6436809
>>6436929
>>6436954
>>6437026
>>6437073
>>6437088
>>6437128
>>6438111
>>6438482
>>6438496
>>6438539
>>6438541
>>6438642
>>6438679
Hey, guys, I love you
Maybe we can have a coffe or a black tea with milk?
I just want to help you, to let you know you deserve to be loved
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXttp8_xSHQ
>>6438692
oh, I forgot the wallpaper
>>6438692
Thanks, man. It means a lot <3
This is a grotesque, silent world.
>>6437128
I've always found /wg/ a nice board for conversation. I'm glad all of you anons are kind people. Even if you're not, and this is some awkward facade for some strange ulterior motive, the fact that you post something understanding and caring is more than myself, and possibly other anons can ask for.
I like that pape, animals are so fun to stare at
Can't get rid of these shitty feelings holding me down since I was 13. 21 now
I'm afraid I'll never be free
You all need to relax, get out there, and go on some kind of adventure.
You'll feel better in no time.
I started lifting a year and a half ago, I feel great, I (think) I look great, I feel like a better person overall. But I have noticed that I have become distant from many of my old friends. One even said that I had changed for the worse. I don't understand what has really changed other than my outward appearance. I just don't know how to react to all this happening at once.
>>6435294
>Anonymous
I am also schizophrenic. You're not dead. That collection of thoughts IS who you are, and you should be very glad to be those thoughts. You can achieve so much more than some despite everything that will challenge you, and I'm very lucky to have even known you for a moment. I love you Anon. I love you.
I live with an extra person in my mind, who thinks, speaks, acts for himself. A completely different person. I grow more distant from my family and friends because of him, because i like his company, i want to spend time with him more. Although it kind of scares me, since sometimes it gets blurry which one of us is talking, or acting etc.
>>6436107
Get out there and kick ass anon.
>>6438940
Shit, didn't see this was posted already.
pls forgive
Feeling like shit over a hero who wasn't aware of my existence. I really wanted to see him perform again after Blackstar.
"Where the fuck did Monday go?"
>>6438942
Np bro
Just be happy as we are because you are here, with us
>>6434653
ignore the weird filename, i just keep forgetting to ask post this in an image modification thread to ask for it to be resized to 1920x1080
"as the world falls away around me, i watch as the last thing of beauty falls away"
>>6439055
>who wasn't aware of my existence
While true, I don't think that matters. We felt a connection to him through his music. It touched us. Deeply. That's why it hurts so much. That's why it feels like we lost a good friend. And yeah, this is basically the worst Monday ever.
>>6439066
Quote has shitty writing. Shouldn't use "falls away" both times in the same sentence. Maybe, "as the last thing of beauty fades to nothing" or "the last thing of beauty is corrupted by anger." I don't know, just not the same thing you said two words ago.
Life has a thousand ups and downs. Some are bigger than others. In my humble experience, the trick is to know where you are on the spectrum. Take solace and satisfaction in the constants. Know that, no matter how bleak things may look, your life is only over when you give up. There will always be people better and worse than you, but their opinion shouldn't change you. Be the person you want to be, and know that you are the final say and the deciding hand in your life. Never be afraid of something because the world tells you that you should be. Maybe we only live once, maybe not, but either way it is our obligation to take full advantage of our time here. Walk with your heads held high y'all; we're all in this together.
I feel ashamed of myself.
y'all hitting me right in the feels
young and hopeless
>>6439096
good thinking anon, i shouldve noticed i fucked up
>>6434653
I should have gone on that road trip with my dad
I miss him
You must find inspiration.
You can't wait for it to find you.
Either you do nothing with all the momentum granted to you, or you move the stars. The choice is yours.
just dumped my cunt gf and can finally focus more on work and myself
feels peaceful, man
>>6438522
I'm in the Army dude, it's just a normal job like everything else out there. Basic is a game with way too much hype.
I love a girl, have for years. I know im a fool to want her but fuck she makes me feel so good about myself, even though we rarely talk anymore. I know I need to move on but its painful to think of life without her. I need her.
And who will stand to greet the blinding light?
It's lonely when there's no one left to fight.
I'm afraid to try because I might hurt myself or others
But if I don't try, I hurt myself and others
>>6439389
That's what I've been told. I know there are people that enlist that are a hell of a lot more out of shape then me, but from what I gather, it's not really about getting you in-shape physically so much as mentally. I'm good at shutting myself off, so that shouldn't be too much of an issue. I wish it wasn't so fucking cold out so I could start running again, that's what will kill me initially.
My ex-best friend saved this to my computer.
Half of me wishes desperately to just reconnect with him, because he used to be a brother to me. The other half knows I would be a better person if I had never met him, and that he's not going to make any attempt to stop abusing his friends because it's inconvenient to him. There's a lot going on in my life, and it's all just slightly worse knowing that I can never talk to him about any of it. I'm left with nobody to talk to about pretentious music or game design. I'm left without my best friend of years. I've never hated someone so close to me this much before. All I can hope is that if I write enough songs about him, I'll just grow fatigued with the act of hating him and let everything go. But I can never be his friend again. I won't let myself.
I find myself staring at the clouds during the day, the stars and the moon at night. I'll be walking to my next class and I'll glance up at the clouds and admire their beauty. I try to not stare for too long because other kids will look at my funny. I wish that other people could appreciate how fucking beautiful the sky can be at times. At night is when I go outside and stare at the stars while I listen to my d favorite music. When I'm alone I look up and admire it all, sometimes I wish I could admire it with someone else though....
>>6439410
Then you've nothing to lose. Those who never try will never succeed
>>6439458
Also I would like to add. When I look at the stars I realize how insignificant we are to the whole picture. Then my mind runs wild, why the fuck are we here? These ideas we humans have created, it's all for nothing. We are all caught up in our day to day lives we forget how little time we have here. If only more people could realize it....
>>6439422
link to your music?
>>6434752
you have it within yourself you to change how your brain works....or use that Brain Wave Scanner. it allows you to change certain parts of the brain.
>>6439422
I had the exact same experience. I keep having dreams where we reconnect, but I can't allow it.
To all the hopeless anons, don't give up. People tend to forget that we are ALIVE. We get caught up in these thoughts that tell us how we're supposed to be or where we should be and we forget that this life we're in is what we should be enjoying and focusing on; not our job, or school, or the military or whatever bullshit has you down at the moment. Ever since I started studying science and learning more about our bodies and Earth and the universe and practicing martial arts, I've been so much happier than I used to be. I do all of this on my own thanks to the internet/books, and I do it everyday. I only get better. It feels amazing. Life is confusing and cruel and jarring sometimes, but we're here regardless and we can do wonderful things even in the face of that adversity.
Don't forget that. Also I suggest picking up an instrument.
>>6438260
ahahahaha, the what?
no girl i like will ever reciprocate
im smart, funny, kind, not socially awkward, a little chubby but ive lost a lot of weight in the last year, and i would treat any girl so well, but im never given the chance because they fall for literally any other guy. all of my friends (male) think im an all around great guy and that i will be successful someday but i feel like ill never find anybody that loves me. girls talk to me at length all the time, it's not like im not approachable. didn't mean for this to be so long.
I want to be perfect.
>>6438902
Sounds like you need some medical help, friend.
>>6439577
Thanks tips, you should be a fucking psychiatrist.
>>6438902
As someone who lives with several alternate personalities, you need to remember that this "other person" is just an extension of your own consciousness. You are both the same person, just different parts at different times. You share the same memories, and draw from the same experience and logic. You both use the same brain. There is only one of you, and all of his qualities are also your own. I know it feels like the loneliness isn't worth holding onto your sanity, but it's a slippery slope and the more you let him become a reality, the harder it will be to shake the feeling that you are only half a person.
You, all of you, is worth whatever torture you may be going through. Drugs help, if you're so inclined. But stick to alcohol or (if you have to) weed, and only buy weed from someone you trust, it's easier than you think to get laced shit.
I was never great at making meaningful, professional type connections in college that would help me land a job easier.
Now I need to improve my position in life with my own power, however insignificant that may be, because there really is no one else who can bail me out.
For the past two years, since I got out of high school, I've been trying to get my mind back. I've been put through more mental abuse than any one person should be allowed to survive, because frankly half the time I want to die simply out of convenience. For over 15 years (excluding the 3 or so that I wasn't technically conscious) I didn't know what happiness was, my entire life was just varying shades of pain and self-hatred. I became a sociopath out of sheer survival instinct by the time I was 9, around 10-11 I was a full fledged insomniac, getting about 1-2 hours of sleep a night simply because night was the only time I had to myself, where nobody could hurt me. I've been addicted to alcohol, marijuana, and crack. I have almost 100 deep, self-inflicted scars from the tip of a pair of scissors that I sharpened with a rock, so that it kind of hooks in slightly. Almost microscopically, so that it still took about half an hour to make a cut 2 inches long bleed all the way through. My memory is so shot that I genuinely have trouble remembering anything past a few months ago, aside from blurry images and vague emotions. I could have been a prodigy. I could have done so much for the world, and I've been reduced to this broken thing that can't even leave my room some mornings. Well I say morning, I wake up around 2pm earliest. But I am slowly, against all odds and my own will, recovering. I'm not even sure who I am anymore, I have no true sense of identity considering I lived without one for so long. But if I was strong enough to make it through all that other shit, then I must have the ability to remember what it's like to be sane, normal, rational. Hopefully.
>>6435076
have fun being 12 for the rest of your life
remember when /b/ had baww threads? no, of course not, because you got here a year ago and you think fake sociopathy makes you special. you're far edgier than the people you're trying to mock.
>>6437897
Read Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace. It's literally exactly what you need.
>>6438452
here's your reply
back to reddit with you now
>>6438482
Just start running.
I'm in constant physical crippling pain everyday for the past 3 months and the doctors can't figure out why
>>6435961
At that age, over 16 years ago, I felt like I was going no where with my life. But I decided to change that. It has not been an easy road, and now I am starting my own family. I'm scared shitless.
All the people that love you make it worthwhile. You have to decide to change, as difficult as that is. And I know It's difficult. I'm still trying to change for the better.
>>6434653
Nice! I have done a perspective of this in one of my architecture class with the same point of view. Really close. :D
I loved you so much, and now you are just...gone
I feel like im facing some tough shit atm, but I'm not afraid. I know i can defeat what's in front of me.
>>6439961
I feel so lonely, I don't speak for weeks on end and when I do it's with the postman or cashier. I've never known what it's like to be loved, or to have friends or for there to be someone who would care if right now I just died. I know there isn't. Am I such a terrible person to deserve being so alone?
>>6434653
>>6434712
Class A composition porn.
>>6435961
You have your whole life to look forward to bud.
If you have a dream, anything you want - go out and make it possible for yourself.
Try new things, discover new things. Get out of your bedroom, it's a prison. You weren't born to be encaged, mentally or physically.
Put yourself out there. Ask yourself, who do you want to be? What makes you happy? If you don't have an answer - get out there and find it. Just decide. Who do you want to be and how are you going to do it - and do it.
You can stay there and get the shit kicked out of you, or..you can fight your way back into the light. Climb out of hell.
I'm going to build shit in Germany and have a damn good time doing it.
this shitty little town is going to kill me.
whenever i see people i love, i just see the mistakes i've made and the things that i've done to wrong them. i'm losing track of time, and feeling worse every day. i just want to disappear and start over in the city
>>6438885
my brain lies to me. it's self contradictory and painful. and it wants me to get hurt, i think. There's layers, going on here. There's the upper brain, which is me. There's the lower brain, which is also me but somewhat broken. And there's a bit in the middle which isn't me at all, and is very much broken. It's the staticky bit, I guess.
Point is the majority of my brain is nonfunctional and even the bit that is me is hilariously self destructive and I just don't know how to handle it. I'm going to therapy, I have an appointment with a psychiatrist to discuss prescription options, and i have every reason to want to stay alive but most of me wants to just. step back. stop. and just not be.
>>6438899
doesn't work for me, makes me more paranoid and hallucinate more than usual
>>6434690
Is that a CoD BL3 custom emblem?
>>6440430
Go for it Anon. You can do it.
>>6440135
I wanna go on an adventure.
>>6440430
Sounds like a good time to get the hell out of town.
>>6440491
I feel you bro I want nothing more then a adventure in this life I feel like we need to seek it out ourselves and thats the hardest thing
On my own thing I feel like my life doesnt belong to me anymore. My Clinical Depression has become a dominating force in my life and it is harder and harder every day to push out the thoughts of suicide
>>6436107
love your mindset, I wish I could think like that. You'll do great, I know it
I've had a stomach disease for the past 6-7 years now that has only gotten worse with time, and now I'm completely home bound due to the increased severity of the disease. After what seemed like a promising future in audio engineering, I had to drop out of college and now live in isolation trying to get work as a freelance game developer. At first, the isolation wasn't so bad, but I can tell my social skills have really taken a hit and I fear that for some reason, I've grown arrogant and narcissistic; I can no longer have normal conversations with people and I really wish that wasn't the case. It didn't use to be this way.
>>6440631
i feel you bro, i am going through some deep depression. You should start biking... it gives me sense of adventure. I am planning on leaving everything behind and bike cross the US
>>6440758
I hope you go for it, if it really is what you want to do. I actually wanted to do the same thing after graduating high school...never got around to it though.
we r9k now
>>6434690
Hope this cheers you up anon
>>6438260
back to >>>/syria/
Preparing for WWIII
>>6439055
It's alright man. He's on Mars now.
>>6434698
We are so simple sometimes.
I want to live in Japan with my qt3.14 introvert tsundere wife and live a peaceful life for the rest of my days.
I feel empty.
or at least emptier than i normally feel
>>6439465
Muh nigga, I'm going there in 4 fucking days
>>6440865
faggot
>>6439103
Among the many upsetting posts in this thread, this brought me right back up where I needed to be. Spot on post, thank you brother.
>>6439103
>>6441100
SO true anon, thank you.
Struggling with mental health, it feels like its over. I've lost and that I am giving up without a say in the matter.
>>6435669
need company?
>>6435916
we are not in a hurry
>>6438781
tru
>>6439117
no one knows you yet
>>6436700
When an emotional reaction occurs, the chemicals - hormones, neurotransmitters, blood pressure, your nutritional intake - affect your psychological memory. When a strong emotion offsets the feeling of tranquility, naturally you do not like that feeling, right? After this occurs, after multiple encounters and circumstances, you begin to learn what to do and what not to do. Your emptiness, lack of empathy, socialization; they all manifest from you learning what certain feelings can do to you, how they effect and affect the physical world around you. Your soul is that conscientiousness of what happened before, it is your life as you have internalized it. What you do with your internalization is up to you. The power of your soul is knowing your strengths as well as your weaknesses, then propagating it with pride while having reverence for other souls. What goes around, may and can come back around; though this isn't always true. However, what's life worth without taking risk?
>>6435246
m8 I do that sometimes.
Pretty relaxing.
>>6434653
I need to be better. I want to be better. But I can't be better.
I feel a strong yearning for adventure and am really excited to start the next chapter of my life. I'm also a little scared, but I think that's ok.
>>6435076
Hey man, this is /wg/, not /b/, please be civil and post papes.
>>6439401
You should go for it, anon. Does she feel the same way about you?
>>6439524
I know it's hard, anon, but the way I see it, don't focus on girls falling for you, focus on finding a girl that you care about, really care about. The rest is up to you, budd-o.
>>6441497
Movie is "It's such a beautiful day," if anyone is wondering. Super fantastic film, I think it's on netflix.
>>6435076
>Edgy
>>>/v/
>>>/b/
>>>/r/montageparodies
>>>/f/ilthyfranksdick
Wondering what death is like
>>6441562
I imagine it as this eternal nothingness. Not dark, not light. Just nothingness. Very calm and still.
Kind of like how I feel when I imagine the time before I was born.
>>6434653
/wg/ the most uncommon people in all 4chan... you're a kind and noble lot guys, loved lurking here so much.
Feelin' fine. :^)
Objectively speaking, I'm doing pretty well (I have a gf, doing pretty well in my classes, have quite a good social life, etc.).
But still, I keep focusing on tiny little flaws and mistakes I've made, even though I know I shouldn't.
TL;DR: Even though life is good, I feel like crap and I don't know why.
the remains of my conscience feel foreign to me
I don't want it anymore
I don't want this
I contain the universe in my mind.
Only I exist and I am tired of it.
Still searching for who I am. Where do I find out and is it too late?
>>6435076
Honestly you can't deny every thing in this thread looks like it was written by a 17 year old who has a sad demeanor. Except schizo guy I guess
>>6441810
http://kuksi.com/
I have recognized that every social and cultural construct is merely a way for people to pass their time in a form that only exists due to specific chemical reactions occurring in a very specific place
>>6435838
Are you me when I was in high school?
School is all a sham, get out of there and get some experience working at a computer place or something.
the only problem i have in my life is trying to figure out what crazy new food i wanna try next life is like a good dream
>>6442092
im planning a trip to go back to kyoto with my wife this fall. just bought the tickets super cheap shit is so cash.
>>6438522
>shitty retail job
>smoke pot, play vidya and whack off for four years
Goddamn you hit me hard anon, I didn't even notice I was two years in.
Anyway, I'm looking to leave home and start a new life with my girlfriend, I'm about to reapply to my old 6th form college to actually get some decent grades, go to uni and make something of myself. I fucked it up completely last time but I'm ready to do this properly now. Feels good in the same way leaving home does.
>>6435911
i love you
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
FUUUUCK
I JUST WANNA SCREAM AND YELL FROM ANXIETY
1st of all sorry for the wallpaper, not at home right now.
Im tired of being myself. I'm tired of not getting to improve no matter how many times I try. I'm in a relationship with the most beautiful girl of my life and I will end fucking it up because I'm a manchild who can't grow up.
And then, "thanks" to my ADDH I forget how shitty I am, I believe I'm happy, untill next fuck up. Can I be more fucking useless?
>>6439403
nice texture dawg, looks like the two gordian knot album covers fucked.
Just got back from a run, feeling good about the future these days.
im stuck between wanting to be alone and not wanting to be lonely
