Discussion about the making or playing of Original English Language Visual Novels.
Do you have a question about a Japanese visual novel or a translation of it?
/vn/ is ready to answer it.
>Getting Started:
http://pastebin.com/7LsCvtq3
>Recommended Reading:
https://vndb.org/v/all?q=;fil=olang-en.tagspoil-0;o=d;s=rating
For Developers. Huge collection of guides on everything:
http://meganelover.com/post/122965940223/visual-novel-creation-masterlist
Ren'Py Download:
http://www.renpy.org/
Previous thread: >>125607915
Remember to BUMP THE FUCKING THREAD every three hours please.
Current Playthroughs: Break Chance Memento, Magical Otoge Ciel
>>125930850
Thread picture is dead eyed Natsume because you all need to suffer with me.
>>125931369
It's the 17th of September and I'm hoping everyone's done using Natsume as their emotional punching bag.
Shuuki's taking a walk on his day off from school and he ends up at the bridge again. He thinking to himself about Masa's death being cleaned up so neatly that it's kind of
"Sad?"
Thishot as fuckmotherfucker finishes Shuuki's thoughts for him.
>>125931870
>hot as fuck
If you say so.
The real star of BCM is that gui. I really liked how they did the menu
>>125931870
It's September 11th: They've gone back in time! After some blahblah. Glowy apparently knows Natsume!
We have 10-15 minutes before Masa dies. Glowy says Shuuki can't save him-- not yet anyway.
Captcha: HOOTERS signage. There are no hooters in this thread.
>>125932095
I will go ahead and admit I have some odd taste in men.
On this note, should I keep random "personal" comments to myself or is it amusing for the rest of you to read?
>>125932284
This is true. The whole GUI is gorgeous.
>>125932095
I'm a dude and do not like dudes, but that's a good looking dude. Compared to like the elf faggot, the weird brown boy, the guy in the Liberace homo outfit, etc-- he's easily the best looking dude of the bunch. In a sea of fopish weirdo dandy fucbois, he stands out as a guy who might just be a cool gay dude.
>>125932475
I'm squinting at the screen, mostly wondering when glowy outfits and time travel tech become "in" in the future.
Oh shit,Natsumeinvented the time travel tech. NICE.
>>125932823
The rings of light mark how deeply he has put his fingers in various butt-holes, he is saving his thumb for the MC.
>>125932475
Make as many comments as you want. Keep it entertaining.
>>125932823
We get some exposition about mementos now, courtesy of Masa's shopping list, dated September 6.
... I forget what happened on Sept 6. Masa died on the 11th, I think? I'll be honest with y'all, I'm very bad at keeping up with time travel.
Fuck I'm gonna need a spreadsheet for this shit. Please feel free to correct me if I get my dates mixed up.
>>125933013
Don't get my hopes up, anon.
>>125933149
Will do!
>trying to fix an old CG
>new one is looking worse
Brb killing self
>>125933013
Anon pls.
>>125933287
I'm guessing that's the day the oldest brother made food so he had a shopping list to buy food.
>>125933287
Masa's killer is some illegally time travelling motherfucker, so our going theory about it being Yuki is still viable for the moment.
So tl;dr, Shuuki has to be the one to help save Masaharu, who WASN'T supposed to be dead in Glowy's future-- "Not like that" as he put it, because Glowy and Natsume simply do not have the right mementos to save Masa themselves. They have that shopping list, and that's it, and that's the best they have which doesn't quite fit the parameters needed to save Masa.
Each memento can have a window of travellable time of an hour at the most, and this memento is just short of the time to be able to save Masa.
>>125933507
To get all the ducks in a row here, I think I've got it now:
Masa died on September 6, his grocery list is from the 6th which is how Glowy traveled back and pulled Shuuki away.
The funeral was on the 11th.
The present is the 17th.
>>125933987
Shuuki thinks this looks like a watch. I wish my watch looked half that cool and glowy. Maybe I'd be able to see my keys to get in my damn house in the dark.
We learn that the time travelling machine thingee can only hold up to five mementos at a time. Basically we want to store things that are perishable immediately, but things like the grocery list can be saved in a safe place so we can remove them from the memory and add them back later.
If you try to travel without a memento, you're gonna get stuck in void hell forever. Okay.
Shuuki thinks this is complicated and I have to agree.
>>125912752
>The writing in Roommates was fine, I just found the sim aspect really tedious. I guess sim games aren't for me
Winter Wolves' implementation of sim games is generally especially bad and doesn't have much to do with decent sim gameplay. You may still find life sims boring, but he's generally really awful at it.
Good life sims have interesting interactions between the stats and tradeoffs that provide multiple strategies for victory. You could boost Stat A, or you could boost stat B to get a bonus event which lets you boost Stat A _faster_ afterwards, or you could balance A and B until the special event where you get to buy items which unlock new stat-boost activities, etc, etc.
For the same reason that I despise VNs whose "choices" boil down to "pick the same character five times in a row to get a good end, do anything else and get a bad end", I despise life sims where the only way to succeed is "just do these two activities every week, forever". That's completely wasting the concept.
>>125934437
Got any rec's on sims? Non-VN is fine. I wasn't a fan of LLTQ
>>125934431
GLOWY IS NAMED KYOUSUKE! He hasn't actually introduced himself yet though.
Anyway, that's the interface for the time travel device.
>>125934603
Tokimeki Girls Side 2
>>125934694
Oh i played that too, doesn't that sort of do what you hate? You just click on two traits the boys want.
>>125934437
I've always found the whole "chase two girls at once and you fail" concept to be really stupid. I prefer it to Key's choices where if you like order a different food item your life changes, because it at least makes some sense, but it's still pretty bad. I also think it undersells jealousy as a motive for characters to act. Some romances are spurred by the sense of immediacy that "not being chosen" provokes. It gets rid of the illusion that the girl/guy has all the time in the world to make a move and can force action. I'd like to see some routes where a love interest realizes that if they do not act, the MC is not going to choose them, and where they are actually afraid of that possibility.
I think most stat simulators are kind of deadening and degrade what attraction is all about. Getting the girl because you have STR 90 INT 40 and she likes that is hollow. However, when the stats are not really related to the girls, but the path you take in the story, I think it can be interesting. I still think the concept itself is pretty bad or flawed. Building stats is just a more convoluted way of making choices-- and at least choices can have interesting ideas behind them.
Question: If I made a linear story, would it benefit from choices that lead only to short bad ends (i.e. deaths)? Do those bad ends serve a purpose, or would they come across as choice merely for choice sake? My thoughts are that they could heighten the life/death nature of the situation, but they could also just come across as stupid.
>>125934604
September 18 2012.
So first and foremost, Shuuki shoved a receipt in his pocket. I'm willing to bet that, due to the timeframe we're in, that that will be the memento he uses to save Masaharu.
My question is, will he go back even farther to save Fuyuka?
Kyousuke sent Shuuki a Friendly Reminder that he doesn't have a lot of time to save Masa. I'll be running through how the device works as we go, since info dumping is going to get tedious.
Shuuki feels like he has purpose again so we're gonna raid the bedroom for some mementos!!
See the notebook on the chair? I'm getting that.
>>125935190
>My question is, will he go back even farther to save Fuyuka?
If he does he'll fuck everything up even harder and get a flashback about the mom's speech.
>>125935190
So when the machine talks, it's Natsume's voice! I like this.
Current mementos are:
Chiaki's notebook
Natsume's bento box (that Shuuki never actually ate the food in. Bleh.)
Yukinari's yellow mechanical pencil.
We're going to stealth mode to the past, using Chiaki's notebook. Stealth mode, we can observe. Active mode is for interaction.
It's September 4th, 2012, at 9:12 AM.
>>125935518
Are you theorizing or did you play through the whole thing already?
>>125935715
Theorizing.
>>125935715
Natsume was staring at Shuuki. Whether this is coincidence or not, we'll see.
Bento Box Timeframe: Sept 14, 2012, 4-5AM, Meisei Dormitories.
(Apparently it didn't occur to Shuuki before now just how early Natsume gets up to make them lunches. Maybe that's why he's tired all the time.)
Here we are! September 14th.
>>125935059
That wasn't me. I generally recommend looking at the old classics like Princess Maker 2 and True Love, I guess.
I don't speak enough moon to have gotten into Tokimeki first hand, although I think the guys'-side ones have slightly more involved stats, because you might want to build up extra stats for the festivals and little RPG battles as well as just grinding the skills your girl of choice likes? But you're also having to make more complex decisions about spending your time with people and managing your money and so on, so there's a lot going on.
>>125936119
So Shuuki goes into Masa's dorm room and picks up a wristband of Masaharu's. He tries to input it into the machine but...
>>125936291
>death by waterfowl
I wonder how badly you have to fuck up to let that happen.
>>125936291
Yellow Pencil: August 29, 2012, 2:31PM-3:06PM, Library
Shuuki thought he got a whole hour. No, ding dong, you get up TO an hour with strong mementos. Come on. Listen to the nice piece of ass that was teaching you this shit.
The machine is reading his mind! We can change from active mode to stealth mode partway through the usage of a Memento. However, the game regards choosing Active Mode (by the player) as choosing Stealth and shifting to Active at the right moment.
Shuuki decides to fuck with things by talking to Yukinari in his street clothes, after his current self, in school uniform, leaves to take a phone call.
Shuuki what the fuck it's not time to ruin things yet. Great job screwing with the timeline. Things are going to be weird when Past!Shuuki returns, still in his school uniform, to the desk he was studying at with Yuki. Let's hope Past!Shuuki thinks as fast as Present!Shuuki.
Shuuki approaches Yuki about this and Yuki just takes the whole thing in stride. I guess Shuuki picked a good person to fuck with.
>>125936543
I promise if there's ever an option to use the wristband, I will.
>>125936890
>Yuki just takes the whole thing in stride
As only a killer could.
>>125937053
Good point.
>>125931870
>that anime tier shading
>that blur to hide the lack of detail
>>125936890
Shuuki, using his brain, remembers that all of his brother's shit got dumped in the dorm room after his death.
What was Masa doing right before he died? Buying the fucking pencil lead! What comes with things you buy? A RECEIPT.
Holy shit guys. We might already have the memento we need-- but this is too easy.
>>125937053
Agreed.
>>125937193
You again. I think you're in the wrong general m8.
>>125937253
We're in the past! As far as Masa knows, Shuuki forgot to bring Masa's backpack along. Good fucking job Shuuki.
Present!Shuuki also forgot HIS backpack. So now everything's all weird, but Masa's just rolling with it.
>>125937552Please for the love of god, stop doing that exclamation point thing. Present Shuuki works just as well.
>>125937552
Shuuki is now crying.
Shuuki just keeps fucking this up-- but wait, he activates his powers of tsuntsun (is this tsuntsun?) to deliver this smooth excuse for why he's crying.
Shuuki, you're a bit of a dumbass, but you are quick on your feet. Maybe we're not totally fucked.
This is quite a touching moment, to be honest. But the music just changed, so this is gonna be bad.
>>125937679
Is it really that annoying? Old habit from LJ days. Sorry about that.
>>125937679
Why? What's wrong with the exclamation mark?
>>125937843
I don't know why I hate it so much. I've had years to get used to it, but the disgust never fades.
>>125937857
Everything.
>>125937843
So Shuuki is back in the present, and Masaharu is MAYBE alive in the present. Not sure yet. I have a feeling that things are gonna be screwy because now past!Shuuki is going to get to the store with the backpack and then run into Masaharu later and well I'm sure we can see how that'll go.
Either that or Masa dies a DIFFERENT way. After all, we haven't actually caught the killer yet.
No image this time.
>>125937843
I am finding it hard to take that crying face seriously. Also, ignore this sperg >>125937679
>>125935169
>Question: If I made a linear story, would it benefit from choices that lead only to short bad ends (i.e. deaths)? Do those bad ends serve a purpose, or would they come across as choice merely for choice sake? My thoughts are that they could heighten the life/death nature of the situation, but they could also just come across as stupid.
If it's a horror game and the choices (and deaths) are entertaining, I wouldn't mind a bunch of fake choices that lead to immediate bad ends.
>>125938235
Masaharu lives! He's pissed.
He wants his dictionary back.
>>125938095
Okay so I tried spoiling the exclamation mark and my spoiler code got stripped. Whoops.
>>125938296
I mean I can do it either way, it's a little more automatic to use the exclamation point though.
Overall preference, /evn/?
>>125938443
>Overall preference, /evn/?
I find the exclamation marks very slightly irking if there are a lot of them but I don't really care
>>125938443
Dude, he's just being autistic. As long as you're not going to start using emoticons you're fine.
>>125938672
Please respect my triggers.
>>125938443
The exclamation mark is fine. I'm more irritated by the idiot whining about it than any abnormal punctuation.
>>125935169
>Question: If I made a linear story, would it benefit from choices that lead only to short bad ends (i.e. deaths)? Do those bad ends serve a purpose, or would they come across as choice merely for choice sake? My thoughts are that they could heighten the life/death nature of the situation, but they could also just come across as stupid.
I think it can work. Personally, I think it works a little better when the dead end is a direct consequence of the choice but perhaps not immediate (eg. not something like "open the right door and you die") and ideally something reenforcing a thematic point maybe.
>>125938443
So things are okay for the moment. Shuuki's memories of the past couple weeks are all fucked up though, due to his time travelling shit.
Masa's tutoring him in the library now because Shuuki's grades are fucked up too.
After some self reflection, Shuuki thanks Masaharu for the help.
As for the exclamation points, I'll try to keep them to a minimum, but I'll continue using them when talking about the past/present versions of characters. I honestly find it easier to create one "word" instead of having the adjective and the noun separate, if that makes any sense.
Or I could always use a hyphen, I guess. I just want things to be easy to follow for everyone.
>>125939172
I hope somebody dies again soon.
>>125939172
The important thing I'm learning here is Mr. Pissypants can be pretty damn cute. He is definitely tsundere.
"Stop being nice to me, Shuuki!" is p much the gist of this scene.
This scene is very sweet but I also want to get back to murders. I need to know if Yuki's the killer.
We have two hours to spend, friends!
As a reminder, we have four mementos right now:
Yukinari's pencil
Masaharu's receipt
Natsume's bento
Chiaki's notebook
Vote please! We resume in 20 minutes.
>>125939421
No one's dead but I hope this is a little exciting! Maybe we'll cause someone to die.
>>125939746
Use the time machine now.
wakey wakey eggs and bakey~
/evn/ should do more LPs.
>>125939746
I guess we're going with the time machine since there were no other votes!
But wait! We have a message. Kyousuke has sent me a congratulatory message(why don't you congratulate me with your cock?), and a warning not to let my guard down.
I appear to be missing a memento, probably the one I used to save Masaharu. He better not die again.
Okay so I kind of disregarded anon's choice (>>125939936) and explored a little first. We have a new memento!
Chiaki's notebook: Sept 4, 9:12-10:12AM, classroom
Bento Box Timeframe: Sept 14, 2012, 4-5AM, Meisei Dormitories.
Yellow Pencil: August 29, 2012, 2:31-3:06PM, Library
Masaharu's Test: Sept 19th, 9:45-10:20PM
Any preference, guys? Sorry for the back to back choices. I'll plan for this better in the future.
>>125943068
Once my vn is finished, I'll show it to the thread and hope someone goes through it. I'm totally willing to brave the slings and arrows of the general just to add some liveliness and get feedback on things I did right/wrong.
Progress is that nearly all scripts are done, waiting for Artist yes/no so that the ending can be written. I may just write both cases to save time if he can't make the CG that I want for the ending.
Would it be improper to link it in the thread when it's done and ask for feedback? It is free and I wouldn't mind criticism (if anything, I need it).
>>125943273
Bento box.
>>125943380
Why would it be improper to give a link to a game that you finished? If anything it would be appreciated, you could get some good criticisms and keep the thread alive with discussion. But don't do a LP of your evn, that would be a bit weird, yeah.
>>125943273
Nothing good has ever come from fucking time travelers.
>>125943567
Yeah, I feel like that would be astro-turfing at best and wholly disingenuous at worst.
>>125943903
>astroturfing
Huh. I never heard this word before. Learn somethin' new everyday. More intelligent sounding than "shilling" I suppose too.
>>125943380
The issue that you'll face is that most of the anons here (aside from BCM anon) are lazy ass or selfish fuckers who only put in time and effort in their own vns, and critique things only if it takes less than 2 minutes tops. Obviously, you're welcome to try. Just warning you not to be disappointed if nobody LPs it.
>>125943380
If you're game appeals to me, I'll LP it senpai.
>>125943273
So we're doing the bento box. I'm going to save, so you know what? Let's go active mode.
Shuuki proceeds to startle the shit out of poor Natsume.
>>125944334
LPing takes way more effort than I can muster and I'm not a good commentator. But I couldstreamsome.
>>125944334
I think it's more that whenever someone LP's, not a lot of people join in. These threads are too dead.
>>125944587
Shuuki discovers that cooking is a PAIN IN THE ASS and a lot of work. Natsume thinks it's theraputic.
This is very much a bonding/Shuuki feels bad scene. I think we're going to have a lot of these.
Pick a choice!
Also if I vanish, it's because I smashed my computer in a fit of captcha rage.
>>125944334
Honestly I'm pretty fucking lazy but I'm also pretty depressed and I WANT to play this game so playing it for an audience is motivational for me to play this thing in the first place.Holy run on sentence, Batman.
>>125944760
The lack of responses can be kind of disheartening, true, but having even one person reply is fun.
>>125944660
Do it anon do it!
>>125944972
I have a feeling being nice suddenly will lead to bad things so pick the top option.
>>125944972
Maybe I could help again.
>>125944972
>>125945214
>>125945217
I'm gonna go eat a slice of pizza and see if we get a tie breaker. If it comes down to my choice, I'm not sure what I'll do because being nice will PROBABLY fuck things up, but I love Natsume and he deserves love and nice things...
>>125944078
Thanks. I like astroturfing as a metaphor a lot.
>>125944334
Really good points and I like your uh... care and perspective.
>>125944461
I hope you do. Here's one script to see if you'd like it. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vehf0S_ucxjl4IQLA1DCGk5gaoek3tQhCrJ8c91kkfA/edit?usp=sharing
This represents 1/10th of the game. My goal is to get things out there for critique.
>>125945642
We both said the same thing though.
>>125944760
I think one of the reasons there aren't enough responses (aside from there being only a couple of anons here) is that the people actually interested in BCM aren't participating because they haven't played and don't want to be spoilered yet.
>>125945713
>Anonymous Nyan Cat
thanks google
>>125945832
>people actually interested in BCM
What, all two of them? That's not a knock at BCM.
>>125945924
Like I said, this is a small place. I'd say 2 is big, relatively speaking.
>>125945756
Jesus christ.
So as I've demonstrated a couple of times before, I'm kind of an idiot sometimes and can't read. Okay, onwards.
>>125944972
Natsume is okay with the help if Shuuki will give it. We run out of time and now we're back in the present.
We have an hour to kill! Do we stop for today, or use the time machine?
If we use the time machine again, here are your memento choices. Please pick a memento if you pick time machine, thanks!
Chiaki's notebook: Sept 4, 9:12-10:12AM, classroom
Bento Box Timeframe: Sept 14, 2012, 4-5AM, Meisei Dormitories.
Yellow Pencil: August 29, 2012, 2:31-3:06PM, Library
Masaharu's Test: Sept 19th, 9:45-10:20PM
Sorry, there wasn't really anything to screencap this time.
>>125945832
>>125945924
Yeah I think its more that most people don't care for BCM at all. It's just like, me, the other guy who votes/comments on the LP too, and the guy doing the LP that are actually interested.
>>125946123
Did we do the test yet? If not, that.
>>125946123
Time machine. Yellow Pencil (aka the Killers pencil.)
>>125946271
Why do people keep saying guys? I thought this place was mostly girls anyways.
>>125945924
Any feedback even scorn and telling me to break my own hands before I commit any further crimes is welcome, Monsieur Nyancat and mr./ms. Leopard!
To be honest, I'm only going along with the LP because it'd be impolite to ask the LPer to upload the archive file so I can look through it.
>>125946448
Sorry, it's habit from other boards. Always assume male, never refer to self as female even if you really are to avoid a shitstorm.
>>125946448
Guys is the plural for any group that includes mixed genders. In nearly all languages, a group becomes the masculine term when even one member is male!
Bow before the patriarchy, guys!
>>125946657
Could start referring to everyone in the thread as gals. It would be funny at least.
>>125946530
Sorry, I should amend that I appreciate the LP.
>>125944972
I'm enjoying your LP, it's interesting to read.
>>125946776
You're right, we should totally start doing that, you go girlfriend!
What do people think of letting kickstarter backers vote on who the canon romance option will be?
For example, IDHAS let their backers vote on who Name's free version and canon romance option would be, and the backers picked Yoi by a landslide. People who want Faye's route can still get it in the commercial version of Fates though.
To me the "canon" route is whichever I liked the best, so I guess I'm just not a fan of being told who's right for the MC.
How they came about the decision was an interesting read though, so anyone curious can read update #60 and more recent to get an idea about it.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/chief/rising-angels-fates-visual-novel/posts/1422567
>>125947068
>voting on whose main boy
This would annoy me. I almost never like the main boy, and so I would always prefer their isn't a "main" one at all. Or else it just feels a bit unfair that one route is seen as getting more attention, writing, cg's, etc in comparison to the others.
>>125946123
Let's see if I can accommodate both voters.
Yuki's pencil first, we're doing that as stealth.
Nothing murderous yet, but I'm watching you, Yuki.Yuki who got bored of putting his pencil back together and now has a broken pencil. Now how're you going to compete with Masa's test scores?
Oh! Oh Yuki's got a book off the shelf!
... It's titled Perfume.
>>125947068
I think the audience tends to come to a Canon eventually so it's just pre-emptive.
>>125947307
Perfume? Sounds pretty gay.
>>125947307
>Yuki who got bored of putting his pencil back together and now has a broken pencil.
Symbolic of how he took apart Masa. We've got our killer all right.
>>125947307
IT ATE MY SCREENCAP.
>>125946810
I'm happy to hear that!
>>125947307
Perfume is a story about a killer that tries to capture the scents of people. It became a movie. The end scene has the murderer open a bottle of perfume at his execution and everyone descends into orgies while he walks away.
>>125947534
Are you for real? You better not by lyin, I'm lookin it up now.
>>125947491
The memento pencil was gifted to Shuuki in pieces, and as >>125947451 points out, so was Masa! Holy shit guys.
Other than us suspecting Yuki, that memento passed uneventfully.
We have an hour to kill, so we're going to do the test next, in stealth mode this time.
... What if Yuki became interested in time travel because of Shuuki fucking with him?
>>125947534
I googled it because I thought you were fucking with me but holy shit. This is too easy. I am sorry for doubting you, informative anon.
>>125947415
This had better be gay or I want my $15 back.Kyousuke route now please.
>>125947534
And then he dumps the rest of the bottle onto himself in a dark alley and gets torn apart. Not in a metaphorical sense.
>>125948035
I've got a hot new theory. He killed Masa in order to spur Natsume on to developing time travel.
>>125947534
>>125948054
>Perfume: The Story of a Murderer
Well shit. So my guess now is that Yuki is pullin the strings, but the dudes gonna feel guilty an kill himself out of guilt. Callin it now.
>>125947068
Who did this BG work?
>>125948035
Masaharu is pissed at his paper and doesn't know what's wrong with it. He then goes to bathe.
That's it that's the scene. The memento is tied to his feelings when he looked over it rather than when it was handed back to him.
So. Since I did that last memento stealth mode, we still have an hour left. Do we redo the test memento in active mode?
No screencap this time.
>>125948130
Oh jesus christ I'm getting mindfucked and we're not even that far in.
... Am I supposed to be spoiler tagging yet?
>>125947961
Yup
>>125947961
Yeah, well I am a writer, see script at >>125945713 , I'd love for you to read it and give some impressions (please Nyan Cat and Leopard, say something!)
>>125948054
>>125948150
I think this is probably accurate. They are probably trying to make this parallel.
>>125948361
Looks nice.
>>125948150
There are trigger warnings on the store page for suicidal actions.
>>125948361
Me, bitch.
>>125948436
>Nyan Cat
It's not a whole lot so I really don't have much to say, but it seems alright
>>125948383
Can you redo the pencil in active mode? I want to see what the killer has to say for himself, tsk tsk!
>>125948535
Name? I love it and I'd love to keep you in mind in the future
>>125948694
Thanks! It is a short story, so I don't want to spoil everything (because everything is a small amount) but if you found it alright, I'll work harder until you're happy or amazed by the next thing I show.
I think just saying it's alright, or just that you bothered to read it-- that really makes me happy. Thanks Nyan Cat.
>>125948702
I can try? I'm not sure if it'll give us anything new since the last time this was done in active mode.
>>125946776
Some of us are from /u/ where that IS the standard, onee-san.
>>125948802
I want to break you into a million little pieces.
>>125948924
I'll work harder until you only want to break me into a hundred thousand. Then harder until you only want to break me into a hundred.
I will work so hard that you will only want to break my left hand and collarbone!
>>125948383
>>125948807
We're gonna go ahead and redo the pencil in active mode. I'm going to save first and if nothing eventful happens, we're doing the test in active.
This time Shuuki claims his phone call ended already. Yuki says Perfume looks interesting. Words of a killer, dammit. He's looking away when he's not blinking.
I was fucking kidding when I started running with the "Yuki is the killer" theory. How are we gonna fuck him now?
... Unless y'all are into death after sex or however that would go down...
>>125948924
Be more subtle, Yuki. Good lord.
>>125949695
>Yuki is the yandere route
Please God, make it happen.
>>125949695
Obviously, you fuck the murder and crazy out of him. The one way to avoid being killed is to fuck someone so hard that they no longer want to kill you, but instead, spread lube upon their bottom and beg for you to fuck them until they cannot walk straight or shit straight for days!
>>125949695
Shuuki thinks the premise sounds weird. Yuki thinks it sounds INTERESTING. The copy they have is in English. It should be noted that Shuuki can't read English.
Yuki says he had a tutor but he's not an expert at English. He's bitter about this. What do we do??
>>125949801
BCM True Plot: Yuki didn't like the attention Shuuki gave his brothers, and the rest of the school for that matter, so he murdered Masa in hopes that Shuuki would come to him, horny, desperate and lonely?
>>125950107
I love you, anon. I need more smut like that to exist.
>>125950107
This is a christian thread for young ladies, please use only PG rated language, thank you.
>>125950386
I want to know more. Also,
>thinks in English
>speaks English
>but can't read English
Hmmm.
>>125950386
You shouldn't get involved with killers, and that's exactly why we're going to. First option.
>>125950386
I want to see what the writers think a romance with a murderer would look like.
All of yall are so dumb, it's clear that it's future!shuuki who is the killer.
>>125950386
Getting involved with the murderer it is! 3 votes is exciting to see!
Are politics why you're homicidal, Yuki? It's okay, I understand. Politics are frustrating!
>>125950540
Can't tell if you're serious, anon.
>>125950390
But how and where else do we express our filthy fantasies and desires, sensei?
>>125950931
Shuuki suggests that Yuki would have a cushy life if he did as he was told, Yuki says he doesn't want a cushy life if he has to live in a cage.
Shuuki wants to learn about the book when Yuki's done with it. Our homicidal love interest agrees, and then suggests we get back to studying.
I think it's time to bail.
>>125951104
Chapter 3 begins! It's still September 23 and we begin with Shuuki being chastised by Chiaki for being a slob for the past two months.
Let me know if I should upload the ch3 cover. I thought this silly textwall was more entertaining.
>>125950931
Do you think I should write smut? I am only interested in the butts of women and girls and would only write a hard S protagonist, so I don't know if my writing would appeal to your predilections, which are probably boys with boys. But I have years of experience engaging in anal sex and activity with girls and could describe it in accurate detail! Only three of which ever effected some form of retaliation with their fingers or other apparatuses-- all succeeded to varying degrees and proportions.
Perhaps it is time for a buttstuff renaissance!
Also go for the murderer.
>>125951413
Yes, please upload.
>>125951446
Do it, but only if you prominently include the phrase "anal tyranny"
>>125951637
Alright, now to find an anal artist, a man or woman who truly understands the eros of the butt! Wish me luck anons. God willing, I will find such a kindred deviant and we will write butt stuff, with the aim of alluring young maidens who are all to eager to lay their delicate derrieres before our dicks and/or digits!
Who is the CG artist for The Royal Trap?
>>125951501
Uploading your screencap real quick before I continue.
>>125952174
That sure is a lot of ketchup.
>>125951413
Shuuki is trying to weedle his way out of not cleaning but Chiaki knows the Amamiyas too well.
Basically
"I'll do it later."
"No you won't."
I love these two sassy asses.
WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED SHUUKI? Is it condoms? Are they magnum?
>>125951446
I think you should write smut. My predilections are literally "both parties enjoying the sexing." I like BL, but I like GL and het too. S/m is fine and good.
>Only three of which ever effected some form of retaliation with their fingers or other apparatuses-- all succeeded to varying degrees and proportions.
You lost me here, but I agree with the Buttstuff Renaissance.Buttfucking Gamejam.
>>125952493
>WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED SHUUKI?
Adead body.
>>125952493
Shuuki has just now noticed that the receipt is missing from his device! He can't find the physical receipt either. Uh oh. Furthering my suspicious of Yuki. He could've messed with it when Shuuki put the device away, and destroyed the receipt...
Dammit, Yuki.
Dawn of a new day!
>>125952659
That would be under /Yuki's/ bed, anon.
>>125952764
So for one, the brothers comment that Shuuki's usually awake before them both (uh oh).
They let that go, Masa's nagging best boy about studying. Best boy is about to fall asleep standing up.
And then we have this, that I didn't think I could summarize well enough.
>>125952089
The same as the CG artist for Date Warp, just a few years of practice later.
http://ofskysociety.deviantart.com/
>>125953281
Afterwards, the brothers have a pretty normal schoolday. Chiaki's gone to visit his home after school. I think his grandmother is an asshole or something based on one of the brothers hoping she doesn't say anything to upset Chiaki.
Shuuki turned down a group date invitation to find Kyousuke in his bedroom.
Kyousuke is judging the contents of some magazine Shuuki has, and I'm going to assume it's lingerie. Shuuki thinks that Kyousuke's clothes are way weirder.
Kyousuke is unhappy with us dicking around in time. Dammit you guys.
>>125954127
If it bothers him so much he should do it himself.
This is kind of random but in BCM i wish the items would have went away when you click them in the backgrounds. Instead they just stay there. Something about it triggers my OCD
>>125954127
Kyousuke makes a butterfly effect reference, Shuuki's like "wat."
Meanwhile, ow my head Kyousuke. I don't like brainbreaking pain.
Not sure how much longer I'll be playing tonight, guys.
>>125954514
I assume he leaves them, honestly. None of the mementos so far are things that he can't replace-- aside from the bento anyway, and I think that's gone from the floor?
>>125954703
Okay gals, I'm off for the night. I'm exhausted.
Hopefully, I'll be able to play more later today/tomorrow.
I look forward to theorizing more about Yuki's murderous schemes soon! Thanks for reading along!
>>125954127
why would you have to step on a butterfly?
>>125938337
I think doing this is fine, but don't make every other choice an immediate dead end choice, because that gets predictable and annoying. I didn't really like the choice mechanics in sound of drop, because there were about 30 bad ends, and some of them got recycled, and about 90% of the choices led to these auto bad ends that were really irritating. It was nice they color coded the choices, so the choices all appeared in red when you knew picking wrong would kill you, but the sheer amount of this because tedious - I can't keep count of the amount of times I had to reload the game.
Also didn't help that the bad ends were really, really short, and felt like they'd been cobbled together in 2 minutes just to stall the reader and artificially create a sense of choice. In reality, there's no choice if most the choices boil down to 'choose the right thing to continue with the linear story or you will die'.
>>125945713
Firstly, well done on getting something together. As feedback, the scene had two major problems. Firstly, you give way too much information away. Rather than making me wonder about who your characters are and what they're doing, you tell me straight away, removing all mystery. Things like the opening paragraph are actually really harmful at this stage of your story, because you're not leaving me to discover things organically, and as a consequence, there's no sense of mystery to your characters, so I'm left uninterested in who they are or what they're doing. Make me work for that information.
Secondly, your word economy needs work. "Dasha began pulling on the rope they had affixed to the top of the wall, she tested it to tension. It felt secure, or at least secure enough for her to climb without much worry.” This is way longer than it needs to be. It can become:
“Dasha dropped her full weight onto the grappling rope, and found that it held.”
The second takes one third the time to read, which makes it less of a chore. Try to cut down your sentences.
>>125955376
Good night!
Am I the only one here now?
Where are the euro shit posters with all that allahu garbage...
I really am alone in this thread. I guess I'll just...go to bed...
>>125958415
I'm here.
>>125958731HowCan you see into my eyes
>>125959149
But I am already laying in bed . You are too late.
>>125959467
Okay fine I'll just stay here all by myself. Whatever.
>>125959467
Place for another one?
>>125959643
Sorry familia, but once I'm laying in bed and listening to shit like this http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NqlYHBikTYM sleep is imminent.
meet hot evn devs in your area
>>125960016
>>125963749
I'll bump your bumper bby.
>>125964736
What's your favorite EVN bby?
>>125965568My own idealized vision of Cradle Dong.
>>125965623
Mine's an idolized version of Sunrider and Sunrider Academy.
God help me they're never going to improve.
>>125965568
It doesn't exist.
>>125954514
Would have gone away.
>>125965651
I just quit academy. Four months of grinding just so it can tell me to click on a girl to begin her route while still grinding the now obsolete girls for 6 more months. That is some bullshit.
Also, I knew this going in, but they tease best girl and yet don't give her a route. It's YMK all over again, only shittier and with constant reminders that she doesn't have a route.
>>125931870
Gasp! Le evil dark haired love interest appears.
>>125955962
Your first comment is really legitimate. It is telling rather than showing which is a flaw. However, it helps the audience get their bearings and I do not think it gives too much away. I think how I did it with Aldamir was much better-- the audience knows he is the wussy wizard type because of how much trouble he has climbing the wall. It's a much better way of doing things. I'll see what I can do.
Agreed on word economy. That sentence is too long for what it does and yours is much better. Thanks for the feedback.
3 painters lp anon here.Labtop is currently shitting itself with overuse of cpu and memory, so it'll be postponed while I try to fix that.
Played a bit, up to the first choice. Apparently it's structured by days, common enough choice in vns. Will do a day a LP if it doesn't get too extensive, which seems unlikely.
>>125971715
But everyone loves pointless grinding!
>>125982182
I bet many people like pointy grinding too.
>>125982841
Of course! If it isn't painful, why do it?
legs
butts?
Who else here /writing the edgiest shit ever/?
humanized version of
>pic related
Just gonna get me some loli harem sloots and it's off to greenlight
>>125988302
>>125991874
edgy enough?
>>125948361
Tamiart?
What happened to all the background artists posting? They all burn out and die?
>>125988302
gen urobuchi checking in, hows it going you fucking weeaboos?
>>125988302
I should be, but I'm really just resting
>>125948361
You could just ask the developer?
>>125988302
I've actually been filing down the edge and addinghope
>http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=36139
I think this wins for worst character names
>>125998190
RWBY?
>>125998190
Yeah, the names are awful, but it's so chuuni that it could be good!
>>125998190
>genderfluid MC
Stopped reading.
>>125998190
>Technically androgynous, but identifies as female.
Androgynous? Do they mean intersexed? Because androgynous isn't a gender or a sex.
>>125998190
>The blue of your eye, I despise it. If only it would give in like the other one, I wouldn't have to rip it out myself
>>126000810
Well if they're some sort of magic elf creature, intersexed might not be technically right either.
I have sometimes entertained the idea of an RPG where the sexes were 'male', 'female', and 'elf'
>>126003084
I like where this is going.
>>126003175
Would you be more or less aroused if they were looking to rape the horse instead of the girl?
>>126003409
Both. At the same time.
>>126003409
I would be equally aroused as I was thinking the horse would be forced to rape the girl by the bandits.
How long until evn become a den of depravity like jvn?
>>126006681
Not long, I hope.
>>126006681
we're already depraved but we cant affrd atm art
>>125971715
I turned it on 'don't give a fuck mode' after finishing the game once on 'slightly easy' difficulty.
Normal difficulty is a fuck storm.
>>125988302
Not a vn, but I'm writing a story about a cyborg cripple being kidnapped for ransom by a disenfranchised party of criminals.
>>126007128
>we're already depraved
I've yet to see pissing, gangrape, actual cumguzzling whores, or bestiality that isn't furfaggotry in an evn. I didn't even include more extreme fetishes.
>>126009005
He did just say we can't afford the art for it.
>>126009005
>>126009163
I can afford the art, but I have to buy a car.
>>126009237
No you don't.
>>126009426
Well, no I don't, but I suspect the person letting me use their car will eventually grow tired of me putting miles on it even if I do basically refuel it for them (including their usage of it).
Also my fetishes don't please anyone here.
>>126009571
What are your fetishes?
>>126009675
Clowns. Mind control. Age Regression. Mental Regression. ABDL with or without either of the prior two options. Domestication of humans. Human transformation to anthro (esp dogs, horses). Robots (and roboticization). Black women. Asian women. PAWG.
>>126009949
I'm not sure if this is a joke or not given the ending of the list.
>>126010132
I might have just started adding preferences at the end.
What game are younotlooking forward to?
>>126010356
Sunrider Liberation.
I know it ain't gonna be good, but part of me wants to believe that money will make them better at game design.
>>126009949
>Clowns
Truly, this thread holds the most depraved person.
>>126010317
Well, that said, mind control, age regression (of a sort) and robots are fairly popular among the "normies" of fetish porn. Transformation and diapers also have their own communities out there but they're hardcore autistic. Your audience is out there, and because high quality products are kind of slim, you could get a drove of support. Look at that gender bender garbage. Lots of people dumped money into it because it existed.
As for clowns, you're an absolute madman.
>>126010848
Come on, dude, female clowns are qts.
Also, the major problem is that I can't draw and I'm not excessively good at writing fetishes.
>>126010792
Also male clowns are usually pretty buff.
>>126011126
But clowns also do cocaine, anon.
>>126011808
Cocaine and alcohol are winners' drugs, anon. Trust a clown on cocaine or alcohol.
>>126012153
>winners' drugs
An oxymoron if I ever heard one.
>>126012841
>wasting money fighting drugs instead of making money selling drugs
This is one of the biggest problems our government is facing right now.
>>126010848
I suspect my fetishes just aren't kinky enough for you. I dig futa, gender-bending, incest, dubcon, transforming people into magical creatures, trapXreverse-trap pairings, and vampire bites.
>>126013271
What? Most of your shit's good.
>>126013271
>tfw no cutie loli vampire sinking her fangs into a giant futa cock
>>126013454
Just make one Tao
>>126013271
Most of that is fairly popular. Also as long as the incest isn't mom/daughter aka zzzzzzzzzzz: the fetish it's all good.
>>126013671
Is straight shota fine?
Because while I prefer lesbian incest, straight shota is incredibly arousing for some reason.
Did any of you actually do anything of worth today?
>>126013809
2000 words of writing of my novel.
>>126013798
Stop talking about it and make the game.
>>126013809
I did a lot already but I'm not participating in the stupid convo above
>>126013968
Damn it nigga I'm writing a fucking book.
>>126013809
4 hours tweaking with the last paragraph of the demo.
also
>tfw you will never have a wide audience for violent, bloody-brutal, gore, torture, rape-porn.
>tfw you can't talk about this fetish lightheartedly
>>126016429
You have me, at least.
>>126016429
I'll never successfully produce that ABDL VN, mostly because I have no real skill.
>tfw people will never do fanart of your game
>tfw people will never write fanfiction of your game
>tfw people will never make shitty amv's with lincoln park or papa roach playing over screenshot images from your game on a youtube video
>tfw people will never write long ass essays about how problematic your game is and why no one should ever play it
>tfw people will never rp as your characters
>tfw crazy people will never take your characters and make a tulpa/headmate based off of them
>tfw people will never cosplay as your characters
>tfw people will never message you saying how much they love your game and how thankful they are for you creating a game that they love so much
>tfw no one will ever waifu/husbando your characters
>tfw people will never get into autistic arguments over who is best boy/girl
>tfw
>>126020758
Hey, don't be like that.
Sunrider got made. Anyone here has hope if they could make sunrider.
>>126020758
>tfw people will never do fanart of your game
>tfw people will never write fanfiction of your game
>tfw people will never message you saying how much they love your game and how thankful they are for you creating a game that they love so much
>tfw no one will ever waifu/husbando your characters
I've gotten all of these and I'm sure I'm not the only one here who has.
>>126022251
Me I'm just going to be happy if my regular novel gets picked up for printing.
Take the VN you like least, and change one thing to make it passable or better?
Which VN, what do you change, and why?
>>126022251
>bragging
>11 days until 2016
What's gonna be yalls new years resolution?
>>126022251
I've had all of these except the fanfic one.
I also had one over-eager fan try to tell me their whole life story and how my VN resonated with them, which I kind of appreciate, but it was a bit intense... Especially as they started to tell me how needy they were and how much they wanted my attention...
>>126027404
Was it a female fan? I have a feeling it is.
>>126027664
Yes it was a female fan.
They also told me some stuff about their fetishes which seemed a bit unnecessary. Like, I'm happy you like my writing, but I don't need to know what makes you 'moist'...
>>126026462
finish a damn game
>Tess
>Joe
>Mariah
I know you're here HRP.I chuckled.
>>126032287
shut up HRP dev
>>126032287
I dun geddit.
>>126032610
because there ain't nothing to 'get'. it's just an HRP dev seeking attention.
Did some outlining for what I would like to turn into a pseudohistorical epic done. I was hoping I might get some critique on what I have so far.
Still working on the actual civil war part, because I don't want it to be tedious and boring, as much as I personally love reading about the battles and tactics of the ancient and medieval world.
Names are currently placeholders. Yes, I am something of a Battletech fan.
http://pastebin.com/huWAme0V
>>126032610
HRP dev here. Anon is probably talking about our new blog post. I could see the thread easily getting derailed right now, so I won't post it here. But it's out there.
>>126034581
If it's an evn, how would the thread get derailed?
I wonder how much i'll regret it if I buy Sakura Santa
>>126036224
Sakura games are always uploaded within the week, so maybe a bit.
>>126034306
Where the FUCK is the waifus?
>>126036224
Depends. Do you like the art? Do you want to encourage them? Is santa bringing you boobies for Christmas?
