Meanwhile, at Apperture Science /v/...
Ok guys, we need to figure out something revolutionary to beat those Black Messa fucks this year
Reminder that this test is not about the long term effects of shit posting while testing.
Guys we're bankrupt
We're finished
We were anally devestated by Black Mesa
>>340376185
Fiscal irresponsibility is also not part of the test.
>>340376185
Shut up Bill, you are paid to do science not mop about
>>340376565
We have to shut you down Glados
The best we can do to save the company is dismantle you and sell your parts
LE MONS XD
Quick guys, I need new test subjects. Anyone got some spares?
>>340376959
How about we outsource our test subjects to Mexico?
>>340376939
Bob? Werent you fired by Mr. Johnson?
>>340376872
Please return to the testing area.
hey guys im not sure if you knew this already but this is an autism thread
>>340377130
We don't have time for that
I'm just going to dismantle you right now
O-oh! Oh! Um, I've got an idea! Let's see uh, notes... notes... notes... AHA! There, there we go. *dumps game drafts* yeah, I call it... "Battleborn"! J-just lovely, isn't it, just positively beautiful.
>>340377070
We tried outsourcing before, we outsourced to India. Unfortunately the costs of cleaning their shit out of the test chambers after every test outweighed any cost savings we might have gotten.
>>340377846
You know what, screw it!
We'll become a toilet company and sell toilets to India
Guys, I came up with a new design for a test element, what do you think? Pic related.
>>340377953
We did that already sir, we sold exactly 0 (zero) toilets.
>>340377784
So are we mass manufacturing these things or not?
Teens and lonely housewives will love it
>>340377682
The aperture facility is a closed system, external revenue is not required for continued testing.
All employees are reminded that according to their contracts, testing is mandatory upon request, and refusal is grounds for immediate termination.
Please return to the testing area.
>>340378076
Did we use portal technology?
If so then it doesn't make sense.
Who wouldn't want a toilet with a portal in it?
this thread is so full of autism i literally cant leave until you all acknowledge it
who's the real autist here?
>>340378196
It's autism
There you can leave
Can you use the portal gun to blow yourself?
>>340378174
India sales are down, but that gives me an idea...
Bear with me here guys, what if we sold toilets to the rest of the world that used portals to empty over india? Rest of the world is happy, have portal toilets, I doubt the Indians would even notice!
GlaDos, do we have the budget to whip up a prototype?
Um guys..
>>340376059
GlaDos you just gave me an idea.
How about we make manufacture humanized figures based on you and sell them to Japan?
Someone shut Johnson up, he's talking about fucking lemons again.
>>340373647
>Apperture
This is an App company?
>>340379315
You're fired. Lemon-powered rockets are the future.
>>340378648
No.
Perhaps you can reflect on how you squandered all of your funding on trivial pursuits while you test.
>>340378910
"humanized"
Your next course is live fire.
>>340379315
Saucy everyone has their kinks and fetishes
>>340379440
What is this test for?
I hope everyone remembered it's Bring a Bird to work day
>>340379584
Science.
>>340379440
Glad I squandered funding on that test for the effect of a room full of puppies on money squandering execs then.
>>340379852
Are we going to test on the puppies?
Guys there are protesters outside
They think we are "unethical"
>>340379906
Dunno, GlaDos administrates it. I just signed the directive to pay for a padded room full of newborn puppies to be used in executive testing.
>>340380047
Excellent, more test subjects!
>>340380094
Unfortunately.
>>340380047
You sure that's not the test for the effects of mustard gas on protestors?
>>340373647
Hey I just welded a glue gun to the right hand of one of the interns but I lost him. Could you please keep an eye out for him?
So we sent this chick to do an experiment and this is how it went
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TZd95BCKMY
I think she's dead
