If any of you nerds want to work in vidya, Twitch is hiring for a shit ton of positions right now.
Thanks shill
>>339451658
I will only work in the pr department
>>339451658
she fine af tho
>>339452002
didn't she die from that newsreader who got fired
>>339452134
No. Wrong person and also I can't even understand what you wrote out
>>339451658
>when girls squeeze their tits together like that
>>339452490
my bad, I should of spent more time on my post to make it more coherentit was Alison Parker
>>339452724
>>339452490
Cute!
What positions are they hiring for?
>>339452724
my negroid
>>339452904
https://jobs.lever.co/twitch
There's a LOT
>>339453086
Is there more of this news anchor aswell?
>>339453086
Nobody here are gonna get any of those jobs.
>>339451658
>>339452490
>>339452819
Why don't feminists get all pissy with hot newswomen? They're everywhere.
Why would I work in vidya when I can take the same skills to another industry and make 50-200% more?
Programmer friends of mine in vidya are in perpetual "crunch time" and are having to deal with more and more sensitivity nonsense. Apparently EA sends out yearly speakers to their dev studios about inclusiveness. One of them did say Anita has a nice booty in person, though.
>>339453414
They do. There's that weather woman who recently had to put on a sweater because get dress was too pretty.
Married and with a kid, who gives a shit.
>>339453439
Why work at all when you can own a motel and make $500k a year? All I do is fold towels/sheets and sit in the office waiting for people to check in.
>>339453509
Wow no kidding. http://insider.foxnews.com/2016/05/16/ktla-meteorologist-handed-sweater-cover-her-dress-middle-weather-report
How fucking embarrassing for her, I've seen much more revealing dresses.
>>339451658
The weathergirl before her was better desu, even had bigger can's.
This chick is gone though, now its some guy that looks like a retard.
Kcal 9 isn't the same anymore.
>>339453439
EA got indoctrinated with the SJW propaganda big tme. Probably what goes on in every major western publisher.
>>339453790
>America is failing
>all the meek and triggered pussies are taking over
>Survival of the Fittest
This is why America is failing, the strong and confident are losing their hold.
>>339453557
is this how the mind of a permavirgin works?
once you think you have even less of the infinitesimal chance than you did before it kills your delusion?
>>339451787
Informing people of job opportunities is now shilling. Good to know.
>>339451658
>Twitch
>Working in vidya
It's a rung up the ladder from Kotaku, maybe not even that.
I have more respect for interns working at EA or QA testers.
>>339453086
christ did they lay off their entire staff?
>>339454306
>permavirgin
If you aren't one of those things then /v/ is the wrong place for you. Might want to head back to normalfag central on Reddit.
>>339454306
Enjoy your sloppy seconds, you cuck.
>>339454494
Their staff was too white and privileged.
>All positions in Gay Fransissyco
noty
>>339454306
>wanting an already married woman
>especially one with a kid
Hi guys, meet my wife's son! I totally didn't fail in the department to spread my own genes, so I'll raise someone else's superior genes to my own!
>>339454768
I want to fuck her, not marry her and raise her son
>>339451658
Thanks mum
>>339454673
you can still fap to a famous qt who you will never ever meet in your life despite her having husband
>>339454894
You keep telling yourself that. Enjoy your wife's son.
>>339454727
Seriously. What does Twitch gain by staying in the meme area of Silicon Valley? You'd think they move to LA in order to work with established studios or LA's Silicon Beach if they're desperate to be viewed as a player in that scene.
>>339452904
Dirty Sanchez
>>339454958
I bet you fap to her husband banging her don't you? Fucking cucks go back to /r9k/.
>>339454954
What if this chick was your mom bros?
>>339453790
That's an inappropriate dress?
>>339454494
That's how tech companies always look. They're ALWAYS hiring. They're doing well - close to their IPO.
>>339455179
It is when fat ass cows can't fit in it
>>339455092
no i fap to her rude titties
>>339455041
That's where all the top tier engineers and developers are.
>>339453790
That's not even revealing.
>>339455296
>can't even fap to you yourself fucking her
Jesus christ...
Why do they need so many engineers for a streaming site?
>>339455576
I sometimes fap to me myself in the reflection of my tv
is it pedophelia if you fap to picutrs of yourself as an underage?
>>339455576
>I fap over girls instead of fucking them
and you think other people are pathetic?
KCAL has fallen ever since the timer Warner dodger deal happened
>Most of the positions are at San Fransisco
>City of SJWs and their clique
lol no
>>339451658
twitch is the furthest away you can be from being related to video games barring "journalism".
>work in vidya
>twitch
>>339455576
Hard to imagine myself as a black man though
>>339455942
>thinking SF is the SJW capital of the world
>not any private college town in the NE
Boy, do I have news for you.
>>339455610
It's a lot more complicated than it looks on the surface.
Huh
>>339456075
did they finally infest other cities as well? I wouldn't know cause I'm not American
>>339456227
Yeah, that's pretty usual for tech companies.
The last tech company I interviewed at had beer on tap. And that's a normal thing.
>>339456274That's where they're from.
>>339456227
Twitter has an all day catered buffet.
>>339456075
SF now days has a strong social justice vibe, sure, but it's all about tech money over everything. The SJW stuff is second banana to sucking start up dick.
I need to move, I miss having friends who aren't techie jack asses :(
>>339456274
Every university, college, and even most internet spots are filled with it now.
The new generation, the kids here who are barely legal, were taught to like them. And every college student also gets taught SJW ideas.
Then they spread it to their kids, and its all over.
>>339456502
The muslims are going to take over anyways. We were doomed from the start.
>>339456227
Most every tech job in SF is like that. All of the people who work in them end up with no life outside of the job, just 24/7 absorbed in the majesty of company perks. Exactly what their bosses want.
>5-7 years experience required for my field
>>339455610
There's actually a lot going on with a streaming service on the scale of Twitch. Streaming over the Internet from one person to another is easy, hosting a service where 10s or 100s of thousands of people could be watching any one stream at any given time, all with the expectation of a crisp HD image and a stable connection, is not easy. Honestly I don't even know where Twitch gets the money for the enormous amount of bandwidth they probably use.
>>339456075
He never said it was THE SJW capital of the world.
But the number of SJWs there are strong despite being NIMBYs towards new housing to help out the people they preach about.
what the hell does twitch have to do with video games
>>339456686
All job reqs are pretty much wishes. Think of them as soft requirements.
I've had an interview with a place that wanted 4-5 years of experience when I had 8 months. Go for it!
>>339456227
Rather nice gig. Shame I lack any experience that they're looking for.
>>339453790
That does it, I'm a #Cruzmissile now.
>>339456227
Lol all tech jobs are like that
>>339456735
>I don't even know where Twitch gets the money
venture capital
massive loans
>>339455296
is it just me or are those tits pretty low hangin if you know what i'm saying
like linda hamilton tits
>>339456863
how about having no fuckin experience
>!
twitch isn't vidya. now hang yourself.
>>339456227
Most tech jobs are like that, especially the big ones like Microsoft. You might lose your soul as a cog in the corporate machine of the software industry, but you'll at least be compensated greatly for it.
>>339457182
Do it. You literally have fucking nothing to lose. If you're a programmer, get your github going. It'll help
>>339457182
>>339457312
There's a difference between taking a long shot and throwing your time away. If you literally mean you have no experience, professional or otherwise, then don't bother. Don't set yourself up for disappointment.
But if you do have personal experience, either some kind of education or personal projects or whatever, then you should take the shot.
>>339454673
>i've fucked girls before but i'll only accept a virgin as a wife
literal 12 year old logic.
>>339457465
It literally takes 5 seconds to apply. But yes, within reason.
>>339456459
>>339456630
Fucking betas do you always give up so easily?
>>339453086
I guess with the closure of JTV, it was inevitable that Twitch would die as well...
>>339453414
look at the 80s/90s
>>339457750
That's normal for any company in the tech industry. If they were failing, they wouldn't be hiring at all. Since they're pre-ipo, they're probably going to be hiring a lot more.
>>339456227
This is what Communism looks like.
Basically no life outside the workplace, can't wait for this country to lose all its values...
>>339456227
maan they must be making LOTSAMONEY from autismos for a streaming site.
>>339456227
What kind of food do you normally get at company provided lunch/dinners? Do they hire a catering company to make the food?
I think the most autustic thing I've seen on Linkedin is Twitch streamers listing their current occupation as Twitch Streamer. Please, please don't ever do this.
>>339458486
Sometimes it's from a catering company and other times it's catered from local restaurants.
>>339455246
Didn't they get bought by Amazon? Can they still IPO?
>>339451658
I'd hire her for something if you catch my drift
>>339459347
>nope no sauce here
you're a faggot m8
>>339459347
Roastie
>>339459347
>>339459407
fapped to her today. Dakota Skye. Unsure where the vid comes from
>See a couple jobs I want and that I could do
>minimum 10 years tech and/or executive experience, plus bachelor's required
Why live?
>>339459843
I said this earlier, but they're all soft requirements. Go for it if you think you can do it.
>>339459843
While it helps to have some experience that they'd want, a job interview is for you to sell yourself to the employer. If you don't have all the experience they want, you need to convince them that you are willing to learn more as you do the job, plus make them confident that regardless of experience, you are a terrific worker who brings something new to the table
>>339460056
I know I can do it. My friend just told me that I should go for it. He currently works in video games and said that he knows I have what it takes. I'm just such a pussy. I've never had this kind of responsibility and I'd be ashamed if I fucked it up.
>>339460254
More good advice. Thanks. I did bullshit two interviews already. I just wasn't nervous because they were for bullshit jobs no one wants.
>>339460484
>I did bullshit two interviews already
It's not about bullshitting. Bullshit your way into a job flipping burgers by saying you have great leadership skills, but that's not what he was suggesting for you to do. If you go into a tech job and actually can't pull your weight you will have a terrible time and will probably be fired.
>>339451658
Wow, this gif was greatly improved by big caption covering half of her body. How could I convey that this is a funny meme to everyone on facebook, without impact font? Whoever made this edit, is a lifesaver.
>>339460613
She literally says anytime, you autist
>>339460735
Yes, I can see that. Very clearly. The caption makes it perfectly clear, in case the viewer is bad at reading lips.
>>339460605
Well, by "bullshitting," I more mean "equate the experience I DO have to experience which is actually relevant to the job description." For instance, I know how to use Google, I can maintain a schedule and manage emails. I've never done so professionally and have never had to do so heavily. I have no doubt that I am capable of performing the job duties, but I have no visible proof. That having been said, with no tech field experience, I'm just afraid that the pacing will kill me. I can pull my weight, but how fast? Honestly I worry that my doubt will be my biggest burden.
>>339461038
If you have doubt, recruiters will be able to sense it immediately. Fake it til you make it.
>>339461107
>Fake it til you make it.
Rags? Is that you? Did you follow me here?
My buddy in tech told me the same thing. I can fake confidence. I do that shit every day.
>>339461197
>Fake it til you make it.
That's a common phrase you idiot
>>339457616
Wow dude. You write cover letters in 5 seconds??
>>339461269
I'm well aware. It's no less odd that I was told the same thing twice in less than 5 minutes.
>>339453790
Are you fucking kidding me? That dress is tame as fuck
>>339460905
How do you know she is saying "anytime"? Because of the caption? The caption may be a lie. You can't lip read, even experts at lip reading have a success rate of about 25% under ideal conditions.
>>339461380
I'm a recruiter. We do not read cover letters. They are a giant waste of time. That's why you see Twitch have cover letters as an option and not required.
>>339456227
Protip: It's to get you to work lots of overtime for free.
These companies give you massages, free snacks, and let you wear sandals but want you to work 80 to 100 hours a week.
>>339461628
I hate writing them too, but i thought that kinda thing was optional just to test you, to see if you'd go above minimum effort.
>>339461628
What do you look for then?
>>339453086
>san francisco
>>339461628
Are you a recruiter for Twitch?I'm suspicious that Twitch is here right now.
how do i apply to be strim guy?
>>339461783
>>339461839
If they're qualified, detail orientated and that they're a cultural fit.
>>339461913
Nope.
>>339461628
I'm not a recruiter but I have known a couple.
They say they don't read the cover letters but they do put them through a parser that looks for specific key words, if you don't get a certain number of hits you don't get through to the next stage.
>>339453790
But it was a fucking joke
>>339461619
25% of the time, I can read lips every time.
>>339462078
I just Googled "detail oriented" and basically saw that those types of people crack if they can't do things in a reasonably organized fashion. That's why I fucking hate retail. Do you mean to tell me that there are actually jobs that REWARD you for not switching what you're doing every ten seconds?
>>339462221
Tech companies looks for people who can switch gears quickly. It just means being able to handle pressure.
>>339456227
Speaking as someone who was recently working at one of these places, until I got fed up with the culture and other such:
they say this is all free to lure you in, but when it comes time for your reviews and opportunities for upward movements it all gets counted against you. "If you compare how much we actually invest in each of you, beyond your wage, you would find it's very competitive".
So in a way they're actually like, upselling you on all these snacks and random perks you may not even take advantage of or want, but in effect you're actually paying for them the entire time.
it's also what this guy said:
>>339458003
GOTTA BUILD THAT TEAM. HEY THE COMPANY IS SENDING A TEAM OUT TO THIS CHARITY EVENT/PUBLIC EVENT/BRAZZERS GANGBANG. WE MADE SHIRTS, YOU SHOULD COME AND GET ONE ITLL BE A BLAST EVERYONE WILL BE TALKING ABOUT IT FOR MONTHSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
These jobs look so simple, but the descriptions are so vague. I wish they had a way to see inside the job and what it was like. I've never worked in an office before.
>>339462672
This sounds cool to me, actually
>>339462672
Look up Zenefits. Specifically what they did in thr last few months. What a beautiful shitshow.
>>339462826
It sounds cool until you find out the company considers themselves to be paying you $9000 more dollars a year than they actually are because they have a really rad insurance policy...which you're not even on because you've stuck with a better plan from the place you moved from to be there in the first place.
>>339456669
Exactly what I want too.
>>339462940
I don't have insurance.
I'd be moving here from literal garbage.
>>339456227
Man, I could apply for thatnext year ;_;
>>339458914
What do you mean, anon?
>if you want to work in vidya a company that deals in networking and internet protocols is hiring
>>339463257
The average salary for an engineer at tech company is 100k a year. That salary will wait for you.
What degrees do I need to apply for a job?
>>339462826
>>339463012
>>339463101
You should apply then. Ignorance is bliss. I hope they hire you and you are totally content.
>>339463419
Minimum is a bachelor's.
Why is it okay when Twitch shills here?
CHINK MOOOOOOOOOOOT
>>339463396
Where the fuck are you getting that figure?
For someone getting into the field fresh expect to grind out jobs at sub $40k for a few years while you build up your resume. The field is completely fucking flooded right now.
If someone is making 100k it's because they've been at it since the early/mid 2000's.
>gay area
Wew lad
>>339463604
>40k
>engineering job in sf
>>339463604
Bay Area has kind of inflated salaries for engineers
>>339451658
mfw I live 35 mins south of SF and looking for a new job
Thanks OP
>>339463739
>>339463785
If you can point me in the direction of a company offering a 100k salary for a network engineer with nothing but a bachelor's degree fuck it
I'm moving in with you tomorrow
Until then I'm calling bullshit
>>339453439
Vidya has arguably the most interesting and challenging problems to solve of any programming discipline, I'd love to work in the area if it wasn't sure I'd get turned into mince meat by endless crunch times
"Computer graphics programming is more complex than rocket science." - John Carmack
>>339455041
>why does a company that's web based want to be where all the other web based companies
>why does a company want to be in a region thats literally known for developers and engineers
Its not surprising that someone that literally referred to a city as a meme area of a region that it's not even apart of doesn't get how actual businesses work.
>>339463886
...yeah, and all of these require 10+ years of prior experience in the industry.
Neat.
>>339453086
>ui ux designer
oh shit I can-
>4 years experience
>>339463925
I'm not seeing a requirement for a Bachelors even for their network engineer position: https://jobs.lever.co/twitch/509be7db-b595-4164-998c-dedbe6d08642
Lots of specific technology knowledge required though and 3yrs experience
>>339463469
>Ignorance is bliss. I hope they hire you and you are totally content.
Honestly, that's what I'm thinking. I've found the job I want to apply for. Now I just need a resume. You have to understand that I'm 27, living at home with mom, working a shitty job and making less than $12k a year. I need this. Otherwise, my life might not improve from here.
>>339464375
Keep going at it. Don't stop applying. All you need is one yes - don't let the rejections get you.
>>339453086
A lot of shit in San Francisco, more like.
>>339454894
>wanting to fuck a married woman
degenerate filth
>>339464472
What a coincidence, considering they're based in SF
>>339462924
Can you give me a quickie? I skimmed and yeah they broke some laws or shit apparently, but they're still valued at over 500mil which is pretty good
>>339464375
Aim for the jobs you want, not the jobs you think you deserve. Prepare to get rejected a lot. Don't beat yourself up about it. Ask questions if you can when you get turned down but don't linger too long chasing people down. Keep applying, keep moving forward. You might have to work a job you don't want or like to get by. You may have to go back for more education, cram it in at night classes or online classes. It's called work for a reason.
When it pays off it's fucking great though. Suddenly it's all worth it and you feel the skies opening above you.
...and you ascend to another level of what-the-fuck-is-this-bullshit. New woes. But it's progress. That's life, what else is there to do?
>>339464656
>wanting to fuck your wife is degenerate
/pol/ and /r9k/ have become one
>>339453086
>all those director positions
Either some major restructuring is going on here or some people fucked up.
>>339453086
Love to work on their mobile engineering team, but I'm not even based in the USA. I'll probably apply though
>>339464791
The whole company was basically an orgy and they had sex in their office. There were condoms found in the stairway and bathrooms. They got alcohol banned at all of their events. It's pretty fun to read - I recommend looking it up.
>Twitch
>vidya
I needed that laugh.
>tfw you're fucking worthless.
>>339464807
Eventually you realize that despite all the education and struggle to get here, everyone around you is still a fucking moron. You spend all your money on expensive video and gadgets. You pick up a new hobby and dump thousands of dollars on it because you don't care. You get good at a whole ton of random things because it makes you happy. You relate to everyone else less and less. What do you mean you don't play three instruments and take martial arts? What the fuck do you do with all this money and time you have on earth? I shit around playing a ton of video games and still cram this crap in there.
>m-muh family
>m-muh brand new luxury car
>m-muh constant expensive trips to go get drunk in exotic locales
>>339464926
I saw that stuff, yeah that happened but they're still a pretty financially successful company. I was expecting them to be closed down or in debt
>>339465049
Nah they're fine. They're pretty solid. I love that it's not uncommon for tech companies to have their employees fuck each other at work.
>>339464807
>>339465015
Insightful
What kind of resume should I send in? Last schooling was 2007 (high school) and my current job is as a Customer Service Specialist (like a mini-manager) at a Big Lots retail store.
>>339453414
>>339453509
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePG6zUYvUZg
>>339459581
found it. Thanks, man
>>339465173
Kind of surprising that there were enough women since there were only 2 girls to the 18 men when I took my CS courses
>>339465564
It's all that marketing, man. Girls love marketing.
>>339465378
Aim for something like customer service rep. Start there. Look for companies that have sponsorship-type programs where they offer tuition assistance or on-the-job training so you can start building that resume and get a better education while working. Some places have smart accountants who know how to turn employee investments into tax breaks, so rather than just handing over tons and tons of cash to the government or other launderers they just put it into your education. It's win/win for them, they get smarter employees who are SUPER loyal and in the end they break even on you.
A lot of places aren't smart enough to have figured that out, or don't want to be looked at like a "stepping-stone" style institution and neglect to offer those kinds of programs. Some places only hire exactly the people they want for the exact position they want them in, and will never promote you no matter what.
>>339465440
Mexicans do this shit right.
>>339465440
AYY LMAO
>Collaborate with other team verticals and across functions to define requirements, prototype new functionality or investigate challenging issues
I'll just stick to my autistic freelancing and pet projects, thanks.
>>339465978
>give purposely vague and open-ended buzzword goals for your management positions
>this way if you ever piss anyone off or they decide they don't like you they can just say you "missed milestones" or whatever
>at-will employment sure is great just fuck my shit up
>tfw your NDA is so tiered you can't even tell people you're under an NDA
>>339466276
Why, are you under an NDA?
Who do you work for?
>>339466157
>not asking for a fat advance and subsequent gradual repayment
>working with corporate clients
m8 there's plenty of private goyim who want you to design their websites and they're prepared to pay for it.
>>339466337
It's pretty normal to sign NDAs in the tech industry. I signed an NDA for a company in SF before I even did an onsite with them
It's to protect trade secrets. I doubt he's at liberty to say.
>>339451658
Thanks but I don't want to become pure cancer
>>339451658
Twitch isn't videogames, it's a video streaming service.
What's next? You gonna claim uncharted is videogames? lol
