You've come into possession of a pre-used monkey's paw from a friend. He tells you that it can make one video game related wish, but that wish will come back to haunt you and your community in un-seen ways. Do you dare make a wish to it?
I wish for a good starfox game to come out, not zero shit
>>335031504
Wish granted. They're mobile clicker games.
HL3 come out tomorrow
>>335031541
If its good, thats not so bad
>>335031625
Its dukenukem forever quality, on the wii u with gimmicky gameplay features
Remove SJ, GG, and anything related from games for all eternity.
>>335031625
It's an excellent gamethat is also only two hours long and ends in a colossal cliffhanger
I wish for the merger of Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft.
>>335031204
Dota 3.
>>335031625
Htc vive only
I wish DaS3 wasn't complete shit
>>335031204
I wish to become a cute Pokemon trainer girl.
>>335031840
but they move their focus from console to mobile games
>>335031840
Granted, the mergers is incredibly lucrative for some years before a market crash causes it be absorbed by another company. All of your favorite series, specifically yours, will never be used again leaving only things you hate.
I get the super powers of a vidya character in real life.
>>335031963
Granted. From fixes the game with a patch that makes it objectively the best game everand never releases it to the public apart from a few gaming journalism sites.
>>335031998
And there's my curse. ;_;
>>335031968
Was getting raped apart of your plan?
>>335031204
Nuke this community.
Let a diaspora begin
I already made my wish
I wished for Battlefront
>>335031968
granted, but you slip into a coma for the rest of your life
>>335031968
granted, you visit a doctor and become a post op tranny. but you know in you heart for the rest of your life that your not a true cute girl.
What happens if I wish for something bad?
>>335032218MUHAHAHAHAHA[spoiler/]
>>335031968your sex drive is ultimately set at 0 and have no desire to fuck, just catch all pokemon
>>335032284
Your wish gets granted, and it fucks you up in some way, just as the rules in the OP stipulated.
>>335031204
I want /v/ to die
>>335031204
I want Mario Party 1 on VC. It's my nostalgic favorite, and only idiots got the stigmata effect, anyway. Moreover, if history repeats, and the backlash from a new generation of idiots leads to the abandonment of MP in its current un-fun car-driven state, so much the better.
>>335032214
Granted, but like some kind of shittiness entropy everyone eventually coalesces at 8gag
>>335031805
>tfw when this gets skipped because there are 0 downsides or ways to have it negatively affect anything else.
>>335031204
I wish every single game released from now were fucking Fallout 4.
It doesn't even matter the type of game or the company that developed it, it will be Fallout 4 when you start to play it.
Zelda U? Fallout 4
New God of War? Fallout 4
GTA VI? Fallout 4
Fucking Half Life 3? Fallout 4
Fuck you, I hope you enjoy your new industry full of Fallout 4.
>>335032604
Fallout 4 ends up being a good game and all future titles keep getting better as it's released.
I want Persona 5 to be excellent.
>>335032214
>>335032417
Granted, books become popular again. This leads to english majors flooding the market, after awhile a crash occurs, they lose their jobs. leading to more protest movements pushing socialist economic policies
>>335031204
I'll make a wish that can't backfire. I wish for Bloodborne, on PC, with porting and multiplayer, and, AND I don't want any server shutdowns, I don't want to turn into a server myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises. You got it?
>>335031805
you enter the glorious platinum age of video games, everyone is happy without censorship and swj, so happythat they realize they cant top this perfection and stop making games resulting in the second video game crash
>>335032610
>>335032487
How about just removing Reddit and normalfags from /v/ forever
>>335032757
Now fromsoft makes 5 other ps4 exclusive that your Pcuck self will NEVER EVER get.
20 years ago I wished for the internet to become mainstream and here we are.
>>335031204
I wish for everyone at Nintendo of America to die of Carbon Monoxide poisoning. That, or get arrested for child porn & rape.
>>335032757
Bloodborne is now abandoned on consoles forever and all souls games will now only release on PC.
>>335032817
granted, /v/ is now dead
>>335032429
Granted, but the mini games get recycled often, their locked at 30fps, and there is a lag for button presses for alot of the games for some reason
I wish for Capcom to give Inafune the rights to Megaman. Let's see what happens.
>inb4 X9 is a trippy experimental shitter and Legends 3 still never happens.
>>335032876I already have a ps4 anon
>>335032883Your child is the one that gets raped.
>>335032938
>>335032883
Granted but now there are no more Nintendo games coming to NA due to fear of a curse
Remove all youtube, streamer and e-celeb shit off the face of this earth.
>>335033036
Huh.
I er......that thing you like is now gone, consequences will never be the same.
I wanna die.
>>335033191
What is life but an extended process of dying?
>>335033094
>not insuranc-ing for the future generation
granted, but a new generation of kids take their place almost immediately after they are gone and become even more cancerous than they ever could be.
>>335031204
Souls games on Nintendo consoles
>>335033015
Granted, he just reuses assets from MN9 and re-skins the bosses making no changes to the gameplay
>>335033191
You will die in a trillion years.
You will not be able to die until then.
>>335033285
FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
>>335033094
Youtube is now gone resulting in people spreading out and using obscure streaming videos, two thirds of the U.S is now gone, madness insues.
>>335033281
Granted. Souls games are only on Nintendo consoles.
>>335033094
Granted but because you appeared in someone's youtube video once, you also leave the planet.
>>335031204
I wish that Recettear gets the greatest sequel possible.
>>335033281
Granted, but they're chibi, cel-shaded and use gimmick controls.
>>335033386
fine by me
>>335033398
Granted, it becomes mainstream. In order to have general appeal it loses its economic slant in gameplay and becomes a fun but unispired dungeon crawler
>>335031204
I wish for a good bioware game again like Jade Empire!
I want a tasty sandwich.
>>335033398
Granted. It will never be localized or fan translated.
You also can't learn Japanese.
>>335032961
I guess you're a newfag then because /v/ wasn't dead back before normalfags and Reddit invaded.
>>335033575
You get a tasty sandwich, but you lose the ability to digest food
>>335033575
Granted, you standards of taste are lowered
>>335033575
Granted but you have to watch your wife's son eat it.
>>335031204
I have no community, i win.
Call me Opposite Gregor
I want unspecified punishment. What will happen to me?
>>335033648
Granted but you are now a whiny autist trying to debate people who are making jokes.
>>335033691
Wouldn't it make his sandwich even tastier?
>>335033785
This is serious business.
>>335033758
Granted, you'll live with a mild suspense that something bad will happen, but never does
>>335031204
I wish there was a good F-Zero anime with an unaltered dub. I don't care how many Yuri Lowenthal or Troy Baker roles are cast.
>>335033831
Subjectively, most likely. Objectively you could be eating a literal pile of shit and think that it would be delicious.
>>335033285
>Not "Granted, now the games are forever delayed."
>>335033934
Granted, it causes a badly made videogame based on the show to be developed, setting the series back even more than it is now
>>335033934
Animu is not vidya
Instead you get another Fate/Zero anime, It is made by Toei and the only show you can ever watch on TV
>>335031204
Kill everyone who has ever visited this board, including me obviously.
>>335034103
So essentially what happened with Falcon Legend all over again? Some twist.
>>335034205
OP said vidya related. Not strictly vidya, read the fine print.
I want From to take a break from Souls games a make semi-decent armored core game with international servers in multiplayer
>>335034317
it's a F2P arena game with graphics of a 2005 game.
I wish Rudy the Clown, Captain Syrup and Daisy were better established Mario characters.
>>335034302
Granted. Everyone dies, and the whole event is a huge media spectacle, which in turn attracts new victims to this cesspool of mankind. The new user base is even more cancerous than the current one.
>>335034302
Granted, everything stays exactly the same because everybody here will die eventually by other causes
>>335034436
>armored core
>graphics
Thanks anon, could've been a lot worse.
>>335034302
Same except for all of 4chan.
I honestly think it would make the entire world better in some small indescribable way.
Humanity instantaneously disppears from existence, including any trace we ever existed. The universe (more specifically Earth and its current wildlife) will thrive and continue healthily.
>>335034317
Granted. The game is literally semi-decent, which in English means "pretty damn boring after the first 15 minutes".
My wish is to have more wishes
Fuck you monkey
>>335034795
Granted. You get another monkey hand.
I wish for the monkey's paw to be returned to the monkey to end this endless chain of bad fortune, with no detrimental effect to me or anybody else including the monkey.
>>335034795
Granted. You now have two wishes. Each wish cannot include anything you actually want or anything that could potentially benefit you in any way.
>>335034795
Rude
And also granted but every wish you make backfires before you make it.
I want my waifu to be real
>>335034689
Granted, but Humanity, including you, is just teleported to another shithole planet in a paralel universe, infinitely worse than this one but everyone is imortal and can feel pain as usual. They also know it was you who did it.
>>335034979
She doesn't love you.
>>335034979
Granted. She hates you and gets a restraining order on your ass.
>>335034925
Granted. The monkey goes on to write out the formula for a cure for cancer with his magic hand. This lack of cancer leads to over population and the collapse of society due to too few resources.
I WISH FOR YOUR FREEDOM, MONKEY PAW
>>335035024
>parallel universe
kek
>>335034925
Granted, your prospective of what is bad changes as the monkey rapes you, making it tolerable
>>335034925
Granted. Everyone, including the monkey, continues to live their boring, uneventful lives until the day they die. On their deathbed every person regrets having lived an unfulfilling life, for conflict and strife is the essence of life itself.
>>335031805
Neckbeards also go away
Then normies leave it
Only children and literal autists are left
Video games are permanently turned into a market of CoD clones made by corporate drones and literally all of them suck
>>335035028
I want my waifu to be real and love me and only me forever.
>>335034979
Granted, but she has surgery, becomes the excact opposite of what you like and can only be kept in this plane of existence if atleast 5 guys a day fuck her while you watch.
>>335034979
She loves someone else
>>335035093
>>335035085
Try again bud, that's a detrimental effect, even if it's indirect. You broke the rules.
>>335034979
Granted but she cuckolds you with a group of niggers before you even kiss her. You have to watch tbe entire thing or she will die.
>>335035089
Granted but now you take my place
Se~no!
I wish all online multiplay gamer regardless of quality or genera, to have extremely low to zero latency
>>335035250
Granted, they are now all lan-only
>>335035215
Wrong OP you mongoloid. The monkey paw slaps you across the face.
>>335035250
Granted, but you and everyone who wishes to play them is forbidden by federal law and gets vanned if they try.
>>335034795
Your hands become monkey paws.
>>335035250
Granted but they are all transformed into the type of game you hate the most
And someone punches you in the dick.
>>335035359
But it's the right show which is what I was going for you bully.
>>335031204
Someone creates the ultimate VR MMO, supplying people with cheap, easy to use hardware, with a fault rate of a tenth of a percent, and it is the magnum opus of MMO RPGs, the likes of which will never be seen again, having the equivalent of a lifetime's worth of shit to do.I want to see how you can twist this without going SAO.
I wish micro transactions from mainstream and mobile games to fall out of practice
>>335035504
The monkey paw slaps you across the face again.
>>335035436
>And someone punches you in the dick.
Can this just be a requirement for all monkey-paw related things? Like, on-top of the unforeseen consequences, you will always get punched in the dick.
>>335035598
What if you don't have a dick?
>>335035598
No. What if someone wants to get punched in the dick?
>>335035532
Everyone, including you, immediately vomits from motion sickness and becomes massively depressed that world isn't real and you can't play it.
>>335035532
Granted, its so popular that it causes economic problems causing a new age of federal regulation on video games
I wish for the monkey's paw to have no effect or wish-granting power after the casting of this wish, including any effects not expressely stated in these words.
>>335035532
It only runs for a week before the servers get shut down, forever, due to a fire, and all of the code is lost due to said fire.
I want to buy video games
>>335035574
Granted. However, now Macro-transactions take over the market, gating the bulk of content behind extremely large paywalls anywhere from half to double the cost of the base games, up to $120 American adjusted for inflation if the game was free.
>>335035679
You grow one for said dick-punching, then it goes away after the punch.
>>335035751
Granted, due to your wish your paw does nothing, everyone else's works as usual.
What, did you think everyone was using just one paw? Get real.
>>335035436
>someone punches you in the dick
Should be added to all negative effects
>>335035707
So anyone but that guy only needs a vomit tube inserted while inside the game. Cool.
I want the monkey paw to stop having negative effects
>>335035939
Everyone abuses the fuck out of it, resulting in the end of the universe.
>>335035927
I said everyone including him had massive vomit and depression, not everyone but him.
I wish for immunity cat
>>335035939
Your wish is wasted and nothing changes.
>>335035909
I said "the monkey's paw", not specifically this monkey's paw. You're full of shit, try and be more imaginative. The other OP is more fun.
>every post on here gives me hope
>hope immediately dashed at "wish granted"
I wish to be cute lesbian fag who's thrown into a dating simulator with nothing stopping me from getting in a relationship with every girl, all at once, with no repercussions from multiple dating and fucking.
>mfw someone actually wished on a monkey's paw for inafune to leave capcom and make his own megaman game
>>335033056
So it's Win-Win.
>>335033019
I'm on /v/, you expect me to have a kid? Level 39 Wizard, baby!
>>335036089
Wish Granted. You cease to exist when the power is off, and your game is so shitty it's never turned on.
And neither are you.
>>335035250
All online multiplayer games become turn-based, with the turn always occurring at least a second after the slowest player makes his move. This can't be bypassed in software.
I wish no video games were ever made again.
>>335036080
Mate, you kinda don't leave much to the imagination, its like 2 kids, and one always summons the reflect mirror, your only option is to break it.
>>335036089
You're free to date every girl you want as long as the authorities don't find out, but in the world of the dating simulator the world is much like 1984, contant surveillance, and same-sex relationships are illegal. You and anybody you have relations with will be killed if you so much as hold hands outside.
>>335036129
>I'm on /v/, you expect me to have a kid? Level 39 Wizard, baby!
Right, I think that's already suffering enough. Have fun, friend.
>>335035996
Depression can be treated easily with medication.
Looks like it's not an issue then.
>>335036089
Every girl is drawn in shitty tumblr art
>>335036008
You get immunity cat
He tells you that he won't protect you from consequences of things you agree to engage in
Then he punches you in the dick
>>335031732
So it granted my second wish free of charge?
>>335036238
Wish granted, however you die cold and alone, a mean and bitter man, ending in a punch to the groin sending you off a four-story building.
I wish this monkey paw would return to the monkey it belonged to.
I wish that everyone working for Blizzard would die
I want my hips to be wider
>>335036238
Granted, but anime becomes the biggest cancer on the world.
Also you get punched in the dick.
I want arma to be a realistic milsim.
>>335036089
All the fucking and dating is just an animation. You feel nothing from it and are aware it's all painfully static.
>>335036339
Wish granted, it is now sitting next to the bones of a long-dead simian, soon to be found by an aboriginal with a lust for world domination.
>>335036354
Granted, but you are now a gigantic fat-fuck who can never loose weight and smells bad.
Also you get punched in the dick.
>>335036339
Monkey paw disappears, but not before punching you in the dick.
I eat the monkey paw
>>335036470
>you get punched in the dick.
I don't have one
>>335036297
Depression medication is some of the most finicky shit the current medical industry has ever made, you still cannot play it at all due to immediate projectile vomiting and you have to constantly down pills to avoid offing yourself.
Hey, who said it wasn't permanent? Always expect the worst.
I want /v/ to be deleted forever
I wish for the monkey's paw to only be able to grant unlimited curse free wishes, beginning with the wish that I am currently making right now.
>>335036526
You get punched in the crotch and end up married to an abusive husband who beats you every night, until in your mid-50s he finally guts you like a fucking fish "for fun."
>>335036408
Granted, every time you try to play the "game", you get immediately drafted into the army.
Also you get punched in the dick.
>>335036526
One is created and punched repeatedly, after which it dissipates.
>>335036408
Granted, your stuck as sergent 3rd class who works in pension department with no prospect being deployed
>>335031204
Every video game ever made panders directly to all my interests, and no one elses, but everyone still buys the games anyway to keep the market going.
>>335036354
Granted. They are absurdly wide and you can no longer function in normal society due to your grotesquery. Also you get punched in the dick
>>335036408
Arma gets a shitting meter added, a stress meter that takes away your control and deletes itself from your hard drive if you die. You can't change servers, only play on a server that is randomly and permanently assigned to you, like Rust characters.
You also get punched in the dick
>>335036526
You are teleported the London
>>335036554
Granted, but a new board is almost immediately created for video games, just under a new name.
Also you get punched in the dick.
>>335031204
I wish for a perfect MMORPG that absorbs the playerbases of all other major MMORPGs within months
>>335036554
Granted. In turn, all boards are now /b/.
>>335036656
Granted, you lose all interest in Vidya and all video games pander to your taste by not existing.
You are not punched in the dick, cause even the Paw feels sorry for your mere existence.
>>335036656
They buy them, but don't play them, so you have absolutely no one to play or talk about games with.
>>335034443
Granted, but never released outside of Japan due to "lack of interest in the US and EU."
>>335036656
Granted but you are banned from buying video games and are only allowed to watch lets plays of children talking about how bad these games you would love to play are.
Also you get punched in the dick
>>335036656
Your interests become the interests of everyone.
You become a neo-communist who wants to satisfy everyone. You adjust your tastes so that everyone can have fun.
You also get punched in the dick.
>>335031504
It's so good, the online community becomes infested with furries that just bought an NX to play it.
I...I just want PSO to be on a handheld and have local co-op.
>>335036746
Within two months the game and its servers go down forever, never to be opened up to the public for a fan-remake.
Also you get punched in the dick.
I want not to be punched in the dick, ever.
>>335031204
I already did.
>>335036904
Too bad, mother fucker, you're getting punched in the dick.
Also, you get punched in the dick.
>>335031968
You get anally raped by Brock.
>>335036904
Granted, you get punched in the balls
>>335036746
Granted but children from club penguin are the only ones allowed to be guild leaders. And your character is punched in the dick once every two months lowering him to level 1
>>335033934
>Using the one wish to wish for a good anime, and not an unbelievable new game, that works perfectly with VR to simulate being inside the cockpit, and having 30 player online races with people from all over the world, and an insanely in depth track editor so you never run out of amazing races to play in.
Come on anon-kun
>>335031204
someone probably used it to wish gaming to inclusive or something, so I am undoing it.
>>335033938
But that's great. Your standards of smell wouldn't fall so you could still detect if something is actually feces, and you could eat simpler or healthier meals and be just as satisfied as if you ate something more decadent.
I want Obsidan to make another Fallout game and also take over making Elder Scrolls games as well.
>>335036993
Granted, but because of the track editor, everyone makes shitty maps with it and it's insanely hard to find good maps. And even if you do find a good one, it takes hours to download, and has a high chance of failing during the download, while also eating up a bunch of your internet.
Also, you get punched in the dick.
>>335037014
Granted, gaming is now exclusive to the human race, Ayyliens will never experience them and have now shunned the Earth for this "gaming."
You get probed in the ass.
>>335036904
Drill to the dick then.
>>335034795
You now have infinite wishes, but they will all be interpreted by an alien who has no concept of whatever language you speak, making the wishes unbelievably inaccurate.
>>335036868
Not even the monkey paw can make your wish come true.
>>335031204
I wish everyone in this thread including me died instantaneously
I want to always remember I'm not Anthony Burch.
>>335037129
Granted. They start developing a new Fallout game but are soon forced by the publishers to release the game before it's finished, making it an uplayable, buggy mess that misses story fragments.
>>335037226
Granted, but you get punched in the dicktwice.
>>335037214
Everyone goes to /v/idya hell and this thread continues there.
Also, dickpunch
>>335037214
You die first and never know our fate
>>335037226
Granted, you become anthony burch but have permanent amnesia, minus the phrase "Atleast Im not Anthony Burch". You cannot hear anything or understand whatever language is spoken to you, but you will never forget it.
>>335031204
I wish to be bara.
>>335037214
We all go to heaven and get computers, and keep going to /v/.
You also get flicked in the balls.
>>335037214
Alright, we will all die in an up-coming nuclear war or something all at once, instantly and painlessly, thirty or forty years from now.
Also, everyone gets punched in the dick right before it happens.
I jerk off using the monkey paw.
>>335037132
I'd take it all in my stride if it meant getting to play good VR-F-Zero.
>>335037379
You get fat.
You also get straight and no longer want to be bara.
You also get punched in the dick, which makes your rolls jiggle.
>>335037379
Granted but you will no longer have a penis or anus to have sex with. You get punched in the mantit
Cuhrayze style Legend Of Zelda
Ill take the risk
I want the money paw to never be able to bring harm to any living thing or cause any action that may bring mental, emotional or physical damage to anything
>>335037439
Thats not a wish
>>335037439
Granted
The Paw feels like wanking it to a cheesegrader covered with acid and you never actually ejaculate, you are doomed to wank with it for eternity or till death. Also when you are about to die, it rips off your dick.
>>335037510
The monkey paw creates a new monkey paw that has none of the restrictions you just mentioned somewhere on the other side of the world.
Also, every time the new paw is used, you get punched in the dick.
I wish for /pol/ to leave.
>>335037510
You have your emotions removed and are now an emotionless shell. Also I get to rape your grandma as she is dead.
I wish i was a qt japanese girl with a mothers body
>>335037630
/pol/'s server moves to a building next-door to where it is currently, not changing anything.
Also, you get punched in the dick.
>Ctrl+F, "Punched in the dick"
>1 of 21
I wish for "punched in the dick" anon to get punched in the dick.
>>335037623
But creating a new monkey paw is an action from the original paw that would in itself cause emotional distress once I find out about it
I want to enjoy videogames again
>>335037630
Granted but now /tv/ /co/ and /v/ are combined into a single shitposting entity called /fgts/
>>335037729
You never mentioned anything about indirect harm.
>>335037785
How is this a bad thing?
>>335031204
I wish for as new starcraft game, but the mechanics are fucked and the community dies after 4 years.
Oh wait.... ;....;
I wish for this 1
>>335037689
Granted. You have a qt japanese girl's face, but the body of the mother of Honey Boo-Boo
>>335037728
Everyone gets punched in the dick.
>>335037689
Granted but this is her body
Also she punches you in the dick
>>335037880
>huhuh dicks lel
Grow up.
I wish i had a halo 3 skateboard
>>335037793
>Cause any action that may bring
Even if it's indirect the cause would still be originally from the paw
I wish for a qt twink to bully my dick.
>>335037938
Granted. They machete it off, tiny slice by slice until you bleed to death.
>>335037938
He punches the shit out of your dick, and does nothing else with it or you, in a completely non-sexual way.
Also, you get punched in the dick by some random hobo.
>>335037728
Im one of at least 2 people doing it.
Also you get punched in the dick
>>335037773
Granted but you slowly waste away as video games are the only thing you now care about
>>335031204
I wish for that fox girl hentai game to be released tommorow.
>>335037921
Shit. Well, go ahead and punch me in the dick, I guess.
>>335038082
Granted, but it is only up for download for about three seconds, and no one has the time to download it in time before it goes down.
Also, you get punched in the dick by a fox.
>>335037915
You become old.
You also get punched in the dick.
>>335038087
Granted. We also drill your balls.
>>335038082
Granted but it is now about bara fox girls thay punch people in the dicks
>>335031998The inevitable gap in the market created by the loss of the three major companies then allows for many small, independent companies to spring up. This heralds a new age of vidya publishers that care about games again
This doesn't sound too bad, anon...
I want getting punched in the dick to become an enjoyable, healthy experience.
>>335038262
>implying that's bad
