alright, someone teach me how to play this game in ONE post. Hard mode: no cryptic terms, explain like a human talking to a human who knows nothing about this genre or game
>>332148892
btw im a girl
>>332148892
You pick a hero, level up, pick your skills, buy your items.
If you can't do that you're a retard.
>>332148892
No. You seem like a fucking retard. Don't play this game.
>>332148892
go play league of legends you retard
>>332148892
Destroy the enemy base with your character. Kill monsters to grow stronger and buy better items.
>>332149087
>>332149165
>>332149406
>>332149523
so this is why people hate moba players.
>>332148892
last hit creeps for money
spend money on good items
don't die
group up with teammates for fights
kill the other team's ancients before they kill yours
>>332148892
Two teams of 5 jerks pick characters to form teams. These two teams then try to beat each other by destroying the others Ancient (giant glowy rock). Game flow is separated into phases, farm, fight, and siege.
Farm: Each team places members in positions to attempt to gain more gold and experience than their opponents. The positions are Lane (stand in lane and try not to die and get cash), mid (stand in mid lane and get cash), jungle (run around jungle and get cash), and roaming (try to help others get cash). There are few configurations for this, but the classic is 2 players top and bottom lane, and one middle. This keeps most players alive and keeps farm decently steady. This phase lasts maybe 10-15 minutes.
Fight: Basically each team competes to get more kills to offset the gold and experience into their favor. Often times this involves trades of one player dead for a team for two players dead of another. Basically try to not have all your members die. Phase lasts until a team grows a pair.
Siege: The dominate team coming out of the fight phase attempts to break the base of the other team. Doing this involves destroying the creep regulating barracks. Once a barracks falls the creeps corresponding to the barracks type grow stronger. Rarely the game tone allows for a straight siege of the giant rock, but normally at least one set of barracks is downed before going for the win. If the siege fails go back to fight phase, if it is successful proceed to win and gloat with an "EZ game EZ life"
Also nobody gives a shit if you are a girl, just waste your life in a shit game like all of us.
>>332148892
try to think like a passive aggressive piece of shit that's going to get revenge on the Bullies by working his 9 to 5 job.
that's literally how you play and win MOBAs.
>>332148892
play the tutorial
>pic related, its OP
prep your bull by stacking ancients
be ready to offer up BOTH your asspussy and mouthpussy to the enemy to "create space" for your bull to farm said ancient stack.
know your warding spots and you're ready to play dota.
>>332149805
It's not a waste if you enjoy it anon ;)
>>332149805
hey, thanks
>>332150000
dont stack any camps in pubs because your team wont do them and theyre gonna get stolen anyway. the only things u should be doing in a pub as a support is ganking. but yeah keep thinking youre supossed to be the passive "ward bitch"
>>332150286
playing position 5 in pubs is handing your fate to your teammates.
Play heroes that can have an impact and can semicarry if your team is retarded and you need to save the game
Depends on role.
Carry. Out farm other carry. If they're a late power hero get early items and fight and kill. If they're early ask supports to ward defensively and farm farm farm farm.
Support. Keep retards alive. Ward wherever your team is or will be. Organise ganks or smokes probably with your mid +the other support or roamer.
Mid. Outlane your enemy. Ask for help if it's going bad. Farm and harass your opponent and go for the kill if you can. Keep a lot of map awareness because you're probably the prime target for ganks. If someone's missing and they can kill you, back up.
Offlane. Die as little as possible. Force them to keep a support on your lane or kill the carry. Get as much xp as you can without dying.
>Spring Cleaning
more like league of legends my friend
>>332150441
also some lane dominating supports are good cause they can spam spells. lich, lion, cm are great ones.
>>332150450
are these roles character specific? if so, which characters fall into which roles?
>>332150559
roles and how u should play are completely HERO specific and that post you quoted is bad misinformation
>>332150559
When you are in game you can see what characters do what by filtering them. On the hero screen at the bottom there are buttons, full 3 bars means they are dedicated to that role.
>>332150559
There's in game tags on the hero's showing this. If you go to the hero page and look towards the bottom there are labels you can click 1-3 times showing each characters capacity for that role and other things such as survivability and escape. Some of them are a bit odd, like calling arc warden a support, but they're accurate enough to be a guide.
>>332150664
>bad misinformation
How? It lays out the roles and what they're meant to do, the hero roles are shown in game and it's easier to look there rather than list each exact hero and run a detailed checklist of what the hero should do in a game
>first game back after a year+
>not a single person in the match speaks english
Ignore my terrible KD
>>332150967
its misinformation because: "Support. Keep retards alive. Ward wherever your team is or will be."
keeping retards alive is a hero specific thing. if ur playing something like lion u dont really do that. among other reasons your post sounds like awful 3k advice and im not going to get into it all.
>>332150245
Welcome, if you want more info google purge's welcome to dota guide. It's long and some things are more for people who want to try to get somewhat good, but it breaks things down. No matter what /v/'s hivemind thinks.
Hit it til it dies.
Don't get hit.
>>332151209
thanks for this, i just want to get into itcasuallybecause itlooks fun
>>332151148
As lion you do keep retards alive. Doing so isn't specific to a hero with heals or death evasion. As a lion you can and should be actively trying to stop your carry from dying. Two disables help immensely with this, and if you can body block or sacrifice yourself to keep your carry alive you should definitely do so.
Keeping retards alive has as much to do with healing as anything else. It includes the above along with holding tps to counter gank, sitting above lane to keep the offlaner away from your carry, so on and so forth.
>>332151442
did you get all that from a TI caster mr reddit.com
>>332151403
In theory it's fun but it really depends on your team and mindset. I've recently been enjoying just playing fun heroes and enjoying my games. Coincidentally my win rate is increasing off this but it's easy to find people taking even unranked games way too seriously and end up ruining the fun. There is a mute button for those people but they drag down the game nonetheless.
CYKA LAST HIT CREEP
DONT DIE BLYAT NOOB
>>332151574
Did you get that fresh boogeyman meme off /b/? Is that really all you can say after being proven completely wrong?
>>332151679
i wish i could cast 4chan posts
>>332151403
It can be a very casual enjoyable game. There will always be those people who want to become the next pro gamer or whatever though. The arcade maps can offer more game modes when an hour long match isn't appealing. I would recommend, if you haven't already, finding friends to play with.
>>332148892
Have you read Purge's guide?
first game back in a year or two, get the typical guy snapping, calling reports and going AFK after first blood in Normal. nicely though, everyone else told him to shut-up and stayed chill.
what are the best custom games to play?
>>332152831
Any of the TDs if you have friends and want a fun shoot the shit or drinking time.
>>332148892
You play the game and pray the you win. That's what I do anyway
>>332150450
Offlane, piss them off so much they leave the lane and attempt to jungle
Then kill them in their jungle
>>332148892
Grow rice for 30 minutes, win game.
>>332148892
I've played for 3k hours and probably have spent double the time watching esports and streamers. its not worth it unless you have 4 friends that will always want to play with you and dont get mad.
>>332153521
not in this meta unless it's a below 3k pub though
>>332153521
Two patches lates on that, ricing carries just become giant gold+exp piñatas now.
>>332148892
Pick heroes that are generally considered good, in the patch you're playing.
Communicate with your team, you'll get assholes and shitters, but you have to try.
Don't make stupid decisions like running into an area with no vision, while the majority of the enemy team isn't on the map.
Always be doing something with a purpose, don't just walk around aimlessly doing nothing, if nothing is happening, try to make something happen with your team.
Stay a relatively close distance from another team mate incase you get jumped on.
If someone is dead, don't try to save them by yourself.
If the enemy team has a higher xp average than you, don't play aggressively, fight around your towers or base.
If you have vision on an enemy, and you're certain there is little to no back-up near them, try and pick them off with your team
smokes of deceit are your friend, use them, they cost 50 gold and can be used on the courier.
Dota 2 is an objective based game, not call of duty, if you take a fight to your advantage, push and try to take a tower or set of buildings, but don't overextend if your team is low, and theyre getting close to respawning, just chip away at the objective, and try again after another advantageous fight
and always carry a tp scroll
>>332148892
is simple game to learn, op
you must gitgud !
Hit towers, destroy towers, hit barracks, destroy barracks, hit ancient, destroy ancient.
>>332148892
Approach it like you would any other game, i.e. just play it.
There is some stuff that is not intuitive (such as aggro mechanics, stacking), and there is a lot of stuff in the game (a hundred heroes, dozens of items) but people overstate how hard Dota 2 is to pick up.
Purge's guide is worth reading, but I'd still suggest playing a couple of games first so it makes more sense.
>>332151145
english speakers suck at this kind of games, don't worry
>>332151145
>by far the lowest level in game
>>332155452
What of "first game back after a year+" did you not understand, you weeb.
>>332149884
>more strategy than chess
more bullshit, maybe.
>>332155603
http://hydra-media.cursecdn.com/dota2.gamepedia.com/8/83/Dlc_glados_ann_glados_prelim_18.mp3
