CKII
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You are currently reading a thread in /v/ - Video Games
>Start game as OC King
>Old married vassal duke with no heirs
>If he dies without heirs I get a shiny new duchy
>Start a plot to kill him and seduce his wife to keep her "entertained"
>Old geezer survives three atempts
>Wife pops my bastard, duke thinks is his own
>Stupid nympho fucks old fart to death, pops daughter.
>Wellshit.jpg
>Kill bastard, get discovered
>Kill daughter, get discovered, inherit duchy
>OTOH have lover with -87 opinion and plot to kill me.
Pls advice
Breed another bastard and kill the bitch, anon.
In CK2 you need to go all the way.
This is now a CK2 greentext stories thread
AWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
That's all I've got for now bros
>Tfw tiny English pauper kingdom that takes part in a huge eastern European crusade
>Tfw only other contributor is France
>Your contribution 1%
>Theirs 100%
>Right at the end through some kind of weird excommunication or rulership change or -something- France is forced to pull out.
>Your contribution: 100%
I ended up owning Hungary with like three non-hungary provinces. After passing out every title I could to any living relative and like six titles to 2 year old children I locked it into a Tanistry and distributed the rest of the titles to new vassals. It was such a clusterfuck, I had literally no idea what I was doing but it was fun as hell, never happened since.
>>321764604
I know its on sale, but do I really need ALL the dlc to enjoy this this game?
>>321767946
Like... seriously. Im canadian. Ainto nobody got time for that much dlc.
Which ones are worth it?
>>321768571
Okay
DEFINITELY:
>Ruler designer:
If you want custom starts with rulers with your name and retardation so you can feel you're in the game. This is balanced so don't worry you won't break SHIT.
>Way of life
Adds broken-ass "life choices" that let you improve your stats in areas of choice, and unlock specific events relating to them. I.E pick war an duel assholes for glory.
>Sword is islam, Republic, legacy of rome
First three expanisons, add a lot
Probably:
>The other expansions except Charles "leg man"
Probably not
>Charlegdasitmane
Unless you really enjoy 4,000 years of viking raids, don't bother.
DO NOT BUY
>Anything else
>>321769025
god bless aon
>>321769430
Honestly if you're cheap and just want to run around in Europe willy nilly just do the ruler designer/custom pack and way of life. The rest are only really good for fleshing others parts and religions on the map. I suppose legacy of rome might be good too, but seriously the rest are just "hey wanna be India? you can now" or "Hey want to be anally raped by vikings for 50% of your game with absolutely no benefit? Consider it done" expansions.
about 60% of the DLC is songs and portraits. I honestly would expect to get paid my time for wasting breath on describing how utterly pointless this is.
>>321769758
Im not gonna call you a gentleman and a scholar, cuz im not a faggot, but youre ok. Thanks again.
>>321769025
>This is balanced so don't worry you won't break SHIT.
hahahahahaha, no
ruler designer allows you to start with a 34+ military skill ruler as a pagan, which gets almost guaranteed boosted to 40+ if you know what you're doing
as pagans that means by the time the dude dies you own an empire the size of Rome
>>321768571
Did... Did he chokefuck Kermit?
>first time playing CK2
>decide to pick a Byzantine doux because i've always been a bit of a Byzaboo
>duke of Paphlagonia or somewhere like that, far enough away from the dreaded Turk to be safe yet close enough to Constantinople for fun
>my character swiftly murdered by the shithead duke of Sinope or somewhere like that
>young beautiful daughter takes over
>build up my demesne through complete guesswork, haven't even played the game before
>join some factions
>some white knight from the Aegean Sea starts a faction proclaiming me Empress (which is unheard of)
>accidentally get dragged into various wars against the Empire
>Turks taking parts of Anatolia while a twenty year series of catastrophic civil wars begin
>end up through complete accident becoming empress of the Byzantine Empire
>castrate the previous emperor and dump him on Cyprus
>reign of peace soon ends when the scheming starts up again and half of the Empire wants me dead
>deposed in a war but allowed to go into retirement on my ancestral land
>die a happy old woman surrounded by boxes of shit looted from Constantinople as the Turks close in on my land
>son begins the reconquista
>>321770959
That, or he watched. Watched while touching himself.
>>321767946
Just buy the base game on Steam so you have access to the user modifications forum on the CK2 site. Then pirate the game with all of its DLC so you can have a shit load more fun than you can with the base game.
Recommended mods include HIP, The Winter King, When the World Stopped Making Sense and A Game of Thrones.
>>321768571
Just pirate them you dweeb.
>>321771623No.
Before I get into it, can I bang my sister, or make her my wife?
>>321769025
And horse lird if youre a dothrakiboo
>>321772725
I guess so, if you're Zoroastrian or those Messalianism heretics which I purge at sight.
>>321766552
heh
>>321772725
Yes on both counts
I started the training.
Found a potential 16 year old wife in the daughter of a neighbor, but she was already marreid so I sent an assasin.
While that was going on declared war on my sister, when she faught back my spy masters informed me of her pervous sexual attractions. I threatened her with the info and her little group to make her queen was disbanded.
That was fucking awesome. Soon Ill marry my jail bait queen and assasinate her father. This is fucking great.
![6668873CA3ADD438B99E14FF8D50FA5552949EA0[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/4sW8bIz.jpg "6668873CA3ADD438B99E14FF8D50FA5552949EA0[1].jpg")
>>321772725
yesbut prepare for yourself to cuck or be the one that get cuckd
>>321775612
>Not getting your wives to fall in love with you early in the marriage.
>Not pumping out a wave of legitimate heirs
>Not making half the kingdom your relatives
>Not having an everlasting dynasty of cousin fuckers
No matter who loses, you win.
