![angry-dad1[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/GrcOhSk.jpg "angry-dad1[1].jpg")
>son those games of yours are slowing the computer down!
>>321057341
>b-but my sister downloaded limewire, that's what slowing down the computer
>it's actually all the thai porn he downloaded that was infected with every virus under the sun
>can't call him on it or he might beat you
ANON THAT SCREEN IS MAKING YOU BLIND
>>321057341
Why is the dad holding his son like that?
>>321057341
hes not that far off, installing too much shit on a hard drive slow down windows, that's why you should wipe the drives every so often
>>321057341
>no longer living with him
>his computer still slowing down
>calls me up to fix it
That'll be 50 bucks you old fuck
>>321057608
They're about to viciously make out.
>>321057647
>>>hard drive
How's the past treating you?
>>321057714
>using SSD for everything
Enjoy your memory degradation.
>>321057341
What the fuck kind of bully grab is that?
>>321057681
>no longer living with him
>his computer still slowing down
>calls me up to fix it
>See trap porn in his browsing history
Did everyone in this thread have retards for parents or something? That explains a lot about /v/
>tfw my father was competent enough with computers to know my games didn't slow down the PC
It was probabaly all the rusian dolphin porn my brother downloaded from lifewire
>>321057984
>russian dolphin porn
mah nigga
>>321057760
That meme again
>>321057821
Is he divored?
If so, good for him, he's living the dream.
>>321057821
Like father like son?
>dad asks you to help fix his computer
>doesn't even bother hiding his porn
dad pls
>>321057821
atleast you have common interest
>>321057681
>>321057821
>Fix a computer problem for you father/grand father
>You are now responsible for everything wrong happening to that PC for the next 10 years
>>321057870
Having kids is pretty retarded.
>>321058189
If it was just vanilla stuff, then who caresIf it was gay incest, however
>>321057821
>no longer living with him
>his computer still slowing down
>calls me up to fix it
>See father/son ero literature in his browsing history
>>321057821
Who is that female anime character?
>sister downloads shit like britneyspears.mp3.exe
>complains to your parents about your games slowing down the computer
>>321058368
>Hear the sound of the door being closed behind you
>>321057341
>Implying there isn't some truth to it
>playing n64
>dad bursts in room screaming
>"your goddamn video game is slowing down my Internet turn it off!!!"
>"dad this is a really old console, it doesn't even use wifi.."
>"JUST DO WHAT I FUCKING SAID!!"
l-love you dad...
>>321058213
TFW
>live with them?
>every computer problem is your fault
>move out?
>everything is still your fault because of what you did in the past
>they get a new computer?
>still your fault because nobody wants to admit they download browser plugins for webcam sites, or run brutal_hardcore_lesbian_NOTincestXXX.avi.exe
Also people are too fucking retarded to uncheck boxes when installing things, they just smash NEXT NEXT NEXT as fast as possible.
THAT'S HOW YOU KEEP GETTING (BONZAI BUDDY/NORTON/AVG/MY FREE SHOPPER ETC), DAD! There is no conspiracy, it's all you!
Never do free computer shit for anyone. Not even family. EVER.
>>321058213
This happened when I fixed my sisters computer.
It was beyond repair, so I ended up formatting it (there were like 25 viruses on it.) told her what that meant, and she claimed for months on end that I broke her PC because it didn't auto input her passwords any more.
Never again.
>>321058376
The worst one of that show
>have to fix normalfag's laptops constantly
>always try to be helpful and mention "you know there are tons of trustworthy sites with absolutely free porn, you don't need to click fake ad banners and get infected with all this shit, i can sh-
>WH-WHAT? I DIDN'T!
>>321058476
Time to move out
>>321058376
Im gonna spoon feed you since this is not /a/.
Thats yukino from yahari.
>>321058634
I don't understand
>playing fallout 2 on the family pc
>ANON YOUR GAMES ARE SLOWING DOWN THE COMPUTER
>THEY GAVE US VIRUSES
>Get banned from computer
>meanwhile my sister is downloading blink182.exe
>computer gets fucked a month later
>sister says I was using it in secret so I could download more viruses
>>321058189
>be 8
>found porn in the lowest drawer of the TV counter
>be 10
>found porn in the cabinet near the computer
>super surprised about woman putting a dick in her mouth
>play vidya
>look over what he is doing on the computer
>he is looking at nude pictures of women
I really should have took these as signs that he just don't give a flying fuck.
>>321058494
>norton
>>321058213
I will never escape family tech support hell. My dad made me set up the surround sound system in our house when I was 13, and I've been stuck with this role since.
>>321058213
Apparently me installing Avast killed my sister's 5 year old USB stick that had the only copy of her up to date patient records. Yes, a doctor carried around patient records on a USB stick in plain-text and only backed them up once a week. And the USB stick was 5 years old. But her last one lived for 6 years, so she knows it was my fault.
>>321057760
6 ssd's were tested till failure.
The lowest still had a write total of just under 1 petabyte
I knew I saved this for a reason.
>>321057760
Fuck off /g/, you're not funny anymore
>>321058213
This even relates to the professional world, if you work with anything related to IT.
>managing sites/servers
>boss installs stupid marketing plugins on his wordpress site
>shit is poorly written, has encrypted code--so it probably has at least some malicious shit in it, and is definitely bloated junk
>overwhelms the servers memory due to horrible leaks (probably coded by poo in loos)
>apache and the mysql-server are now always crashing since he installed that garbage
>"Uhh, Anon, did you change anything with that server?"
>Haven't touched it since he installed it, except now for memory flushes and service restarts, anytime this shit happens
>>321058578
Is this show fun?
I've avoid it for years because of that fag 8man.
If our internet plays up in the slightest my brother comes down and asks how many tabs I have open in Firefox If I have more than 1-2 he says I have too many up and they are using too much of our 39 Mbps internet.
No matter how many times I try telling him static pages don't use any of the bandwidth he just doesn't get it.
He's gone as far as grabbing the scruff of my shirt to threaten me to close more.
>hey anon can you fix my computer it's acting really weird
>bonzai buddy and 40,000 toolbars
>can't even access webpages cause it's constantly redirecting to porn sites every few seconds
christ
>"Son, your lack of human interaction is turning you into a gay furfag"
Th-thanks, dad
>>321057681
>repairing the PC of your parents, the people that took care of you
>asking for money
you had a shitty childhood, right?
>tfw my father played more vidya than my and upgraded pc with voodos and shit
I cant relate family
>>321057821>you remember you've forgotten to clean history when leaving all that time ago
>>321058494
>install unchecky
>remove any trace of unchecky, short of uninstalling
Foolproof
>>321058945
1º season = highschool shit
2º season = forced teen drama
I liked it because of the threads and the waifuwars
>tfw I never knew this feel because mom was computer literate and taught me what she knew
It's a good fee-
>get known as nerd girl and asked for help with computer issues from everyone until the end of time
>eventually get A1 certification
>fix computers for living
>the shit I have seen, the stupidity and general illiteracy I have to deal with
Guess I'm living that shit second hand then
Protip: I can find your porn in under 5 minutes, guaranteed. And dont leave your cheese pizza on the desktop and definitely dont set it as your wallpaper. Yes, someone actually did that and yes he's in fucked in the ass prison now.
>>321058943
Network administrator here. Every single problem is blamed on the network, even by the server admins
>>321058991
Well i'm an Aussie and we can have four people online all browsing the internet but the moment someone opens more then two tabs or uses the shit Ipad we won in a raffle the interest goes to shit
So there is logic behind that. 39 Mbps though can't say how that works I get like 1.5 mbps
I've been thinking of advertising myself to fix old people's pc problems for 20 bucks.
Good idea?
>>321057760
what?
>>321059118
Fellow Yahari-fag. See you on the next thread.
>>321059038
He's literally not wrong on this one
>Both of my parents do IT work
I don't know any of these feels.
>>321059046
I'm just living by the principles he raised me by
>>321059276
do you parents pressure you to become autistic?
>>321059316
So you had shitty childhood then
>>321059225
Up it to 50.
While you're there offer to upgrade their computer for a extra 20 and install ad-block.
>>321059054
lmao mom's fucking with her sons tween head
>>321059187
Our Download is 4MB/s max
I have monitors to how much I'm using, Depends on what tabs you have open if it's actively parsing data.
>>321059046
His parents could just be really obnoxious people to fix shit for. Sometimes you need to charge for your time just to avoid becoming your entire family's personal free tech support bitch.
I'll fix my mom's PC shit for free because even though she's insufferably bad at computers she always appreciates it and doesn't expect me to rush over for every computer problem she has, or blame me if anything goes wrong. Other people in my family, not so much.
>>321059141
Might help that it only takes two folders to get to my JAV stash.
I'm always afraid of opening anyone's computer case because how much they ignore to clean it out. I found a bunch of spiders inside last time I helped someone out with their computer.
It's your porn sites, dad.
>>321058160
>paying c.u.c.kstody money
>living the dream
You're retarded.
>>321059225
That must be nice
>migrating outlook accounts to new workstations and updated outlook
>just a single one fucks up thanks to Microsoft's shit
>I get blamed for it
>>321059225
do you know how to update adobe reader?
>>321059141
eh, all my porn is in .rars in D:/Downloads/or in D:/poke because /b/ dumps had to go somewhere
>>321058213
>being too much of a beta to not tell your family that if they break anything afterwords, its their fault and if they bitch to you about it you'll never help them EVER AGAIN
I've gotten zero complaints after the first time with this policy, and I still wont help my cousin when she has pc problems because she whined about something afterwards and got to be the sacrificial lamb that proved I was serious about it.
>>321059360
He raised me to understand the value of my labors, and to never do for free that which I can earn money doing.
That's a valuable lesson, so I wouldn't really call it a shitty upbringing.
>>321059527
So basically he was a capitalism loving piece of shit.
>>321059597
Lmao commie neckbeard fucking FAGGOT detected
>I don't want you plugging your games in our new tv, they're gonna fuck it up
>>321059597
Not him but he's right.
You can't give away your time and knowledge for free. Even to family members.
>>321058906
I was in that thread. I remember the story getting worse and one poster offered to murder the mom and sister.
>>321059141
>implying i have porn on my computer
All i have is a text file with links to all my favorite videos.
The txt file is hidden pretty good too.
> be me
> be the techman in my general area/family/friends/school
> dad is utterly useless with tech, but understanding
> I am always right, never blames
> I hear a ry from the living room
> ANON my android tablet crashed
> sure I'll take a look at it
> start up the tablet
> redirects to a shitty ransomwaresite
> god dammit
> restart tablet in safe mode
> check apps
> ANDROID UPDATE
> PORNPLAYER XXX
> sigh
> delete apps
> restart
> working again
> OH DEAR LORD ANON YOU'RE A GOD
> mfw
>mfw my dad wasn't retarded and was into computers since I remember. Even now works as IT spec.
inb4 underage.. I am 28
>In WhatsApp group with schoolmates
>Never really write anything
>In it just in case some event happens in need to know about
>See conversation about PC and Anti Virus software
>Maybe I can join in now. PC is my thing.
"Anyone know if this flashgames site is safe? My kaspersky is blocking it"
"Yeah, it's safe"
"You should use norton instead"
"I'm scared if i turn it off i'm gonna get viruses everywhere"
>Say that's not how that works
"What do you know? What are you using?"
>Nothing, Common sense. Never have any problems. I can explain to you how your PC actually gets infected, if you want.
"Bet your PC is full of viruses and worms. Do you even know anything about PC's?"
>Yeah, probably the most out of all of you. I've been working with PC's since childhood.
"Games don't count as work"
>Okay. Whatever you say.
>I Shut up, can't be bothered
>See them continue arguing about how Anti Virus software is mandatory and before they had it their PCs were riddled with viruses even though they only use facebook and play games
>Mfw
>>321059742
How could it possibly get worse than them stealing his computer twice, deleting all his data, falsely branding him as the computer illiterate, and disregarding that he earned the computer through his own work?
>>321059703
>tfw my dad actually said dat
he was partially right because some games had burn in and he knew i loved jrpgs but I never played with the fuck huge old bigscreen plasma.
>>321059078
Thanks anon, that's actually useful
>>321059762
Similar thing happened to my mum yesterday with the cheshire police ransomware shit.
Check the apps and pictures, and there's so much shit.
Like why did you download "tinsel decorator" what the fuck is that even supposed to be.
I'd be less annoyed if it was porn.
>>321059703
>This happens
>Get to use the older TV specifically for games
>Never have to worry about sharing the TV or getting kicked off the vidya when people want to watch it
>Vidya all day erry day
betterthanexpected.jpg
>>321059054
>fakku
I threw up a little
>>321059141
>someone set cp as their wallpaper
>>321059887
>acting like a know-it-all for no reason
>instead of having a conversation like a normal person, sperg out
this is why nobody likes you.
>>321059054
Fuck that. I've still got the habits of never leaving incognito mode even though I left home years ago.
I was the most ninja motherfucker when it came to that shit back in the day.
Individually deleting every link so that no-one could see from a glance that the history had been wiped and then adding in a few generic links so that it looks like that is what I had been doing on the computer.
Autism at it's finest? Fuck yeah but how many times did I get caught? Fucking zero.
>>321059979
>mum wakes me up at 5am
>cheshire police on the computer
>I actually live in cheshire so shes shitting herself
>I get rid of it
>check what shes been on
>sex story about gay men
>>321057341
These threads make me glad my mother is a progammer. Never had to deal with any of this shit.
>If you hit me dad I'm calling child services and I'll tell them where all the bruises are.
>>321059141
Actual cp? Or just some shitty loli
>>321059118
>>321058945
First Season: Dumb enjoyable antihero hijinks
Second Season: Horrendously adapted forced teen drama that will only make sense to people who either read the novels or have been filled in by someone who has
Shame they fucked up s2 so bad, s1 was pretty enjoyable for what it was.
>anon what did you do theres a virus on the computer
>never use that computer since its fucking shit
>walk down stairs and open up program files
>see like 50 things of adware
>start deleting them
>anon what are you doing we need those
>spend 20 minutes explaining to her what they are
>leave
>2 days later shes calling me back down again
>>321059887
Can you explain a fellow anon how does a PC get infected?
>>321059054
>tfw no qt milf mom who would tease you after finding out about your mom/son hentai collection
>>321059750
Anon, what if it gets dmca'd? Or the site goes under? Think of all that obscure early 2000's porn that you saw browsing Stile Project late at night once that is forever lost now.
And what if you lose internet? No fap material until it comes back!
I'd still find it though if I wanted to really find it. Chances are you dont clear recent items and I'd likely just have to open notepad and hit open to see where it might be hidden.
Thankfully I live alone so unless my cat wants to find out what his mom gets off to I'll never have to worry about it.
>>321059895
This was three years ago.
>>321057341
>I built my own gaming rig for the first time
>allow dad to use it, to be nice
>one day I come home and find that every single one of my games have been uninstalled
>"They were slowing the computer down. Besides, you should be focusing on school work."
>Fine. You're out, I'm adding a password.
He threw a massive hissy-fit and became really scary, but I never allowed him on my computer ever again.
Parents are fucking cancer.
>>321060142
Oh god
Luckily mine was just a stupid photo app thing, but I did have to explain what zoophilia was, which was really awkward.
>>321058906
And people wonder why /r9k/ hates women
I have so many to share
>hey anon can you take a look at my iphone? it's too slow
>k mom
>open her browser
>literally 80 tabs
>she never closes any of the one she use, she just opens new ones
>>321060240
You're the one who brought it up, don't leave me hanging damnit.
>>321059141
>someone set cp as their wallpaper and asked a stranger to repair their PC
Questionable, but I've heard some shit worse than that
>>321059895
It was bad. Really bad, I actually remember getting secondhand rage from this guy's stories, even just that short excerpt gets my piss boiling.
>>321060142
I got that one too, bonus points for fluid Polish.
Accused me of piracy, slandering, cheese pizza, gambling and everything else.
The gambling rubbed me wrong way, since I never in any way played for cash.
>>321060328
How does his story continue? I've only seen what's in that image there.
>>321057821
>Using grandmother's computer
>See giraffe porn in her browsing history
>>321060304
well, when it's broken you hardly can change it to something clean
>>321060201
Not him, but that's a lot of what if. I don't care about porn, even the rarest ones I could find. Yeah there are some favorites, but it's not like I'm going to kill myself over it.
>>321060292
But /r9k/ is full of normies, women and beta orbiters.
Didn't any of you ever bother to ask "Okay, if you think they're slowing it down, can you explain how it's doing so?"
>>321058281
This.
We're at an evolutionary stage now, where intellect cannot possible be a favored gene-composition anymore, simple because anyone with a mere modicum of brains will be able to avoid making children.
>family party at grandparents'
>ask if i can use their laptop
>check their picture library
>no order at all
>sort everything into folders by year
>there, all cleaned up
ANON, WHAT DID YOU DO
>>321057601
>it actually is
I wish I listened.
>>321057870
Most of /v/ is american so
>>321060475
Well, why would you even ask someone to check your PC if you have highly illegal stuff there in the open. How could you even forget you had CP on your desktop wallpaper.
>>321060186
That's too long of a topic. I've offered it to the one guy since i can explain it to him verbally. Besides, you're on /v/. You should know better.
>>321060096
>this is why nobody likes you.
They do though. I'm not an outcast or antisocial. I calmly tried to explain that anti virus software is not necessary. Might have seemed douchey in the greentext. I tried to sum it up to as little text as possible.
>>321058843
>Yes, a doctor carried around patient records on a USB stick in plain-text and only backed them up once a week
>>321060554
As a person who is a fan of organised messes.
Fuck you.
>>321059887
>common sense may may
I bet you don't use a condom either. Not that u evr have sex u fkn nerd lol
>let mom use PC for a moment while I shower
>zoophilia and incest searches
God damn it mom.
>>321060574
*as your desktop wallpaper
>parents have been around the computers since the 80's
>dad was the one who installed that fuckload of DOS games in the first place
>eventually upgrade to a new computer, dad gets a spare HDD for me and my brother to freely fuck around in
>free IT support requests are extremely rare, the latest one being my dad asking for new hardware advice a few years ago since he knows I know better
Life is good
>be me
>working cashier at Ralphs
>old man comes to my register, is buying bread and ham
>scan it, total it and say to him, "Your total is 4.30 sir"
>old man pulls out a little bag with money in it
>hands me a 5 dollar bill
>ask him, "sir, do you have the 30 cents"
>fucker just shakes his head
>I tell him, "Sir, if you give me the 30 cents I can give you back a dollar bill"
>fucker once again shakes his head
>then I say to him, very frustrated by now, "sir I can see you have quite a lot of coins in there, mind if I count them for you see if you have the 30 cents"
>this fucking dense motherfucker shakes his head again
>I grab his little bag and start to pull out coins
>dense old man is trying to wrestle me for it and is grabbing and putting all the coins back
>I finally grab a quarter and a nickle and enter the money into the register
>old man yanks my collar and tells me to give him back his coins
>I hand him a fresh, crisp dollar bill
>fucker pulls my hair this time and tells me to give him back his change
>explain to him that I gave him the correct change and there is nothing I can do about it
>fucker goes complain to manager(yes over fucking coins)
>manager doesn't understand but he caves in and makes me give him the coins back
>fucking dense old man just walked away with $1.30 more than what he was supposed to
>>321060068
It definitely appaeared to be CP, or a very young girl. Even if it wasnt there were dozens of images of kids being diddled saved to his desktop.
>>321060170
Actual cheese pizza, extra cheese.
my dad said the same shit but with consoles and the television
>>321057601
>>321060564
>tfw getting near sighted
sure I got glasses now but I miss my perfect vision
>use grandpa shitty laptop at family party
>check history
>"sex women video"
>he was 70
He does live alone so i can understand, but jesus.
>>321058618
To be fair man, it's pretty difficult to admit you fucked up that bad.
>>321060201
Not the same guy but
>Anon, what if it gets dmca'd? Or the site goes under? Think of all that obscure early 2000's porn that you saw browsing Stile Project late at night once that is forever lost now.
The shit i fap to usually has more than one source, and sometimes i can find it by remembering the artist or something
>And what if you lose internet? No fap material until it comes back!
I will just use those little things called imagination and memory
>Thankfully I live alone so unless my cat wants to find out what his mom gets off to I'll never have to worry about it.
>his mom
London pls
>>321060724
>>321060724
>Actual CP
Disgusting.
loli is far superior. And, where I live, actually legal (baed CA)
>>321059141
>I can find your porn in under 5 minutes
>implying i have it hidden
>>321060650
How did you knew which searches weren't your?
>>321060545
I did but apparently the questioning of their infallible logic is one of the greatest sins you can commit.
>>321058991
Back then I was stupid, I believed this was the reason for slow internet. Therefore my family believed me and went along with it.
It wasn't until I discovered that static pages doesn't use any bandwidth that I changed my ways, but my family kept on with it. We kept screaming "C'mon, close a tab! Others need to use the internet too!"
I still cringe till today.
>>321057821
We all have our kinks. My dad has told me he loves the Madonna-whore complex, for example, and my parents know I've got a serious thing for hips.
>>321060762
I've had glasses for like 5 years now
You really do forget about it and it becomes second nature
thats not to say I won't jump at the chance of laser eye surgery when I get the money
>>321060724
What the fuuuuuuuuuck
>>321060681
He's fucking nuts and you're a sperg. Working retail told me not to argue with crazies. You deserve your shit, dumbass.
>>321060681
Is this b8?
>>321060681
You're an insane autist.
>>321060681
Why so stubborn? If he doesn't want compact change he doesn't have to give you the 30 cents.
>>321059118
>1º season = highschool shit
>2º season = forced teen drama
just like every modern anime nowadays
at least it's better than merican cartoons and capeshit
>>321060681
what the fuck is wrong with you, count change you faggot.
>>321060803
Send him a couple of links and guidelines for some good shit, anon.
>so what anti-virus do you use? Can you recommend one?
>I am sure you can since you're on your computer all day!
>I don't use one
>b-but anon bad things are going to happen to your computer
>Since I don't use shady sites, no nothing is going to happen to me and never has
>people are stunned by this
How do you even get a virus? At this point I am doubting the existence of viruses.
>>321060681
Why so autistic anon. He might be a coin collector or something.
>>321057760
I love this meme
>>321060838
>muh 2D 3000 year old loli with cowtits
Loli is the shittiest fetish ever, at least pedophiles aren't a bunch of snob, delusional spergs about their fetishes
>>321059141
>get known as nerd girl
And in typical woman fashion, you just can't help but bring that up. What with all that cheese pizza your story would have been just as interesting had you not mentioned that.
>>321060909
I've had to wear them for like 15 years now. I've accidentally jumped in the shower with them a bunch of times now. Crazy just how used to them you get.
>>321060681
why didnt you just give him his 70 cents anon
>>321060297
For starters, it was on r9k.
In that thread we complained about our relatives and their incompetence with computers and technology in general. I think the mom and sister ended up putting him on blast in front of their extended family and around town.
I'm trying to find an archived post or screencap for you but don't hold your breath.
>>321061014
By being an idiot.
The only programs you actually need is Malwarebytes and Ccleaner.
>>321061014
Most of the time they are talking about malwares, which are also hard to get unless you really go full retard and don't know what websites to browse to get your shit
>>321060803
What makes you think you wouldn't be looking at porn at the age of 70?
>>321061014
t. retard with 500 spywares and rootkits
Just opening a wrong image in google images or opening an otherwise legitimate site with a shitty virus ad will fuck you up. A decent antivirus for such cases is required, common sense for the rest.
>>321060681
Your a dumb ass if you think people are going to sympathize with you on this one.
>>321061079
My actual fetish is DFC, loli just happens to often tie into that.
>>321060909
How risky is that shit these days? I've heard some spooky stories about what can happen, but I guess that's true with all sorts of surgery
>>321060681
This has to be bait
>>321061014
The only time I have had a virus was when my dad was using my laptop for facebook. He got sent a, I LOVE YOU virus in a message somehow. That shit was kinda scary, but still wasn't my fault. Luckily I was able to save the PC.
>>321060681
why not just give him 70 cents and quit being such an autist? you made that situation so much harder than it had to be
>laptop gets a easily fixable issue
>has some important files
>also full of fucked up porn
>I'm not good enough to figure it out alone
>expert guy I know offers to fix it for free
>too scared to let him touch it
Oh god, what should I do?
>>321061207
Good thing I am complete sperg who doesn't use facebook
>>321060681
7/10 made me feel legitimately angry, know others are going to fall for it too.
>>321060681
>infinite money exploits on RPGs
>>321060681
Maybe he saves his coin change, and puts it in a jar at home. That jar could be for his kids collage fund, or life saving surgery.
>>321061167
Not him, but I haven't used an antivirus for half a year on my separate PC, since I was lazy and no really important stuff is there anyway, and the only thing I got is 1 questionable malware, which I already knew was questionable
>>321060196
It hurts
I just want a qt milf mother to tease me and then help me release all my stress
>>321061191
Not sure
But as with anything in life, it all has the potential to go wrong
desu I should really try to use contact lenses
I tried a while ago but just couldn't do it
>>321061167
>I have no idea how computers work
>need a zip drive for school work
>take one of dads
>get called into principle's office later that day
>parents are there
>principle yells at me because the zip drive had a folder of porn on it
>dad stands up and lectures principle on how there is nothing wrong with masterbation and that shemale porn wasn't even a little bit gay
>principle points out that he hadn't mentioned that it was shemale porn yet
>that awkward drive home
>>321061014
Really, at this point a well setup browser (adblockers, plugins only on trusted sites, JS blocking etc) and scanning your downloads does way more than any active antivirus software
>Randomly break chronic masturbation habit after 6.5 years
>Find a list of all the JAV shit I torrented usingbittorrentover the past 3 years
So much time wasted, so much semen spilled.
>>321061323
Or you could just keep wearing glasses.
>all these people mad for the sake of some, most likely, fictional old man but are dissing their own parents calling them stupid in this thread.
>>321057821
>no longer living with him
>his computer still slowing down
>calls me up to fix it
>See tons of videos of him fucking my niece
>Copy them all on my pen drive
>>321061270
Let him touch it. Everyone masturbates.
>>321061274
Same. Just because my dad is a normie, doesn't mean I am.
>>321061356
>your dad was literally arguing that traps aren't gay
>>321061270
>let guy see your weird fetish
>or lose important files
ditch the files anon, nothing is worse than letting people know your a degenerate
>>321061356
Brilliant
>>321061356
This sounds like it could be a scene from South Park.
>>321061437
Oh no, I'm fine wearing glasses like 90% of the time
but it would help when I do normie shit like go out drinking and playing sport
>>321058843
>avast
>>321061270
Just winrar the porn. Label it backup school shit or something
>>321059141
i actually for a second thought they set pizza as their desktop, would be a good guy to talk to and commune at the pizza shop
>>321061014
We've done enough guinea pig testing to actually know what to do and what not to do. 10 years ago, I'm sure a lot of people were still sorting out how not to be a complete fucking retard on the internet. Nowadays, you can visually tell and use context clues as to what sites are shady and what aren't, including downloads or what program files do what.
>WOW I DOWNLOADED A SONG IN .EXE FORM
>NOTHING CAN GO WRONG!
Computer literacy has developed with millennials as they grew up, so passive knowledge is more bountiful as it is universal for them and their friends. Not even including parents or family members who are able to still learn.
>>321061191
Dude, apparently laser eye surgery is old news.
There is some new stuff that can get rid of everything altogether.
>>321057821
>'dad an son pissing' in his browser history
>>321061270
Let him fix it and then thank him with a friendly blowie
>>321058213
>tfw studying IT
>tfw uncle is also working in IT so every single computer problem gets pushed onto him instead
I will always be the moron who doesn't know anything about computer for all my family cares.
>house has family computer and my computer
>I never use the family computer
>family blames me for why it runs like ass
>tells me I have to fix it
>I go clean up their shit, defrag it, get rid of malware, etc
>oh wow much better
>few weeks later its slow again
>the hell did you do the computer? Its those games of yours isn't it
>I have no games on that computer, i don't touch that computer, i have my own computer i built so I never had to touch that computer
Families are stupid
>>321060681
This is b8 guys don't reply, i've already seen this once
>Mom wants to print out calendar pages for some school project (she's a second grade teacher)
>clicks the first link she sees instead of just going to google images
>"install x to download" and all that crap
No real damage was done and everything was right as rain in an hour, but the sheer stupidity and counter-intuitiveness of what she did was baffling.
>>321059141
>don't have any stupid ass file names
>always encrypted my porn with a password and nuked its existence
I don't have any porn on my new drive, but you could not find it on my old hard drive even if you wanted to. It was well placed and meant to only be navigated by the creator [myself].
>>321061356
kek'd hard
>>321061080
I didnt even realize I did that actually. I'll get out of the treehouse now.
Not only do I get blamed for whatever my parents do with the laptop, which I don't use because I have a fucking PC, but I get blamed for the gas and electricity bills.
Despite the fact that Scottish Gas gave us some sort of fancy device in September that calculates - in pounds - how much electricity and gas we use per day. It even has coloured bars to indicate how much electricity and gas we're currently using.
We tested this by turning every sort of electronic and such off in every single room but mines. The meter stated that my room alone, with literally every but the heating on, uses up only 3p per hour. I should note that I'm a college student and I work on the weekends, so I'm not on the computer that often.
Per day, the meter says we use up to around fucking £6 of electricity and gas. Shit drives me absolutely nuts.
>>321061448
do you still have them if so load them up to mega
>>321057341
Dad you're fucking dead, stay dead and get the fuck off of my PC.
>>321059141
>saving porn
>not uploading to imgur then committing the url ending to memory
I will genuinely never understand.
>>321061191
Worst case you end up with the ability to see people's deaths before they happen
That's an eye transplant though
>>321061014
I've only gotten a virus once and it was due to a drive by download ad on a normally trustworthy siteIt was e621.net
Bitch of a virus too. Scareware that wouldn't let me launch hardly any .exes and always came up with bullshit virus scans. Tried to get me to pay $80 to clean my computer.
Malwarebytes completely missed it too. I had to start the computer in safe mode and clean it that way.
Shit happens.
>>321061459
>>321061654
I forgot to mention that guy is really good friends with my parents and would not hesitate to tell what he sees on my computer for laughs. It might be funny to him but my parents would be shocked. I heard him telling once about porn he saw on someone else's computer, but mine is way more fucked up.
>>321061578
I can't. The issue makes it impossible to use the desktop.
>>321061137
TDSSkiller and Eset's Online scanner are also good backups. Usually run TDSS first just in case.
>>321057984
>mfw my dad taught me how to use computers
>mfw my dad helped me install games on it
>mfw I really miss him
>>321061917
I'm pretty sure I'm going blind in one eye, perhaps it's time I became a Psychic.
>>321058874
>>petabyte
>>peta
go jiff in hell furfag
>>321061996
Pleasure him for his silence anon, its the only way
>Realize I still have some sexting texts and porn links on my old phone in my parent's room after 3 years
>Get the phone, charge it up and turn it on, delete the porn from the photo gallery, put the phone back
>Remember that I never saved porn to my photo gallery as I'm laying in bed
Other than that, my dad's phone would rarely connect to my laptop when I was torrenting jav porn, I'd quickly remove it from the devices tab.
>mom wants a little help with her laptop
>instantly notice pubic hairs caught between the y and u keys
>>321062070
Get a sharingan, you'll be swimming weeb pussy
And then go omnicidally insane, but hey, underage weeb pussy!
>>321057681
>charging your senpaiÃlia
>ever
Even if they're dicks, they're family. Never charge family, you prick.
>>321061996
Whip up a Linux live USB, boot the thing and zip your porn from there
>>321059078
Wow, this is a godsend.
Thanks, anon.
>>321057714
>SSD for everything
nice meme faggot san, maybe you should eat some anthrax
>>321061996
For fuck sake, do you have access to another computer? Just hook up the hard drive of the laptop to another computer then start deleting.
>sister's tablet has variations of "brothers penis" "big brothers penis" "sex with brothers" in google image search
>check her folders
>turns out "brothers" was a reference to black men
>Mother calls me up one day
>"Your brother wants a PC he's seen this is it god"
>Some horrifically overpriced prebuild from a big chain store
>Give me half the money and I'll source you something just as powerful that does all that
>Order in a mini-ATX system for him because he was bitching about it having to be small
>Calls me up a few months later
>"This PC is shit I thought you were good with computers!"
>Have you been downloading garbage
>"No"
>Don't believe him
>Free_games_now.exe
>Shady torrents
>Clean it up and lock his registry the fuck down so he can't soil it again
>Calls me up again
>Go back to fix it wondering how he's fucked it
>Everything looks fine but it is running slow
>Crack it open
>Dog hair, dust and other filth litterally crammed into the case
Fuck my brother. He also got me banned from the Dreamcast when we were younger because I was "cheating in soul calibur" by changing Ivy's sword into a whip, and my mother agreed swords can't be whips.
>Dad, the internet's down.
>Restart the computer, son.
>at School
>they require you to install their shitty Anti virus to access the wifi
>every time I log on it takes 10 minutes to actually let me connect to the internet
>sometimes it doesn't connect at all
>download Canopy for a project
>antivirus thinks canopy is a virus and won't let me make an exception
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8G9QIIvSpzE
Rev up those feels.
>>321062287
>family member is a coalburner
Absolutely revolting. I make fun of sandniggers for being primitive savages with honor killings but sometimes I completely understand it.
>>321062287
that's too bad anon.
>>321062301
>I was "cheating in soul calibur" by changing Ivy's sword into a whip, and my mother agreed swords can't be whips.
Sweet jesus titty fucking christ. I'm sorry anon. That must have sucked to grow up with but that was too funny.
>>321062301
>and my mother agreed swords can't be whips
Holy shit this is fucking comedy gold
>>321058213
>wind up becoming the family tech support, despite primarily just having the ability to properly google search
>parents tell me to fix the fax machine
>brother asks me to code an app for him on a whimthough i'm pretty sure he was drunk when he was texting me
>find out about dad's searches for gay porn because he was on the cusp of falling for extortionware
sometimes i wish i could take it all back and do something less painful, like kickboxing
>>321060681
Not sure if I had to team up with this anon or the old man.
>schools IT class
>teacher had this program which locks PC/s if he wanted to
>whenever he locked them I bypassed it
>found multiple ways on how to bypass it
>always told him how I managed to do it, hoping he's gonna do something about it and I can have a bit more of a challenge
>he never did anything with it cause he knows I didn't even do anything on the PCs
I got dissapointed everytime.
>I get a call from my mom one day
>"Honey! The computer doesn't work at our house, and we know you're a technology wizard! Could you come and help us fix it?"
>I cringe, but accept to anyway
>I arrive and my mom shows me where the computer is located
>I see the old Windows XP computer we had when I was about 10 years old turned on
>On the monitor you can see a shit ton of Internet explorers open
>"I think those games you used to play on there caused this! We shouldn't have let you use it..."
>I don't even respond, because she's obviously wrong.
>I try to click out of a few of the Internet explorers, and they took about 30 seconds to close
>This was going to take a while
>Once I had finally closed all the Internet explorers, there were about 10 desktop strippers dancing at about 10FPS
>We turned our heads towards dad
>"Uhhh... I think those games caused them to appear anon!"
>They start arguing
>I leave
I got them a new computer for Christmas. Hopefully they will be happy. Remember guys! Games cause desktop strippers!
>fapping like the fist of the north star
>cum buckets
>close browser delete history
>there's a fresh, warm cup of tea beside you
>>321062301
>swords can't be whips
My fucking sides
![End of Evangelion (R2DVD_x264_720x480_AC3).mkv_snapshot_01.08.32_[2015.12.21_17.37.33].png](https://i.imgur.com/YjUKPkI.png "End of Evangelion (R2DVD_x264_720x480_AC3).mkv_snapshot_01.08.32_[2015.12.21_17.37.33].png")
>>321062380
>Go to school
>Network is perma-banned from 4chan for CP
>Use my phones cellular data
>Area is perma-banned for CP
>Go to outskirts of town
>Area is perma-banned for CP
And that was back when being banned here meant you couldn't browse it at all.
>>321057608
it hurts him more than it hurts his son
>>321060909
>tfw one eyes is at 4.0 and the other at 5.0
If I walk at the streets I don't recognize people at all.
>only computer literate one in entire family
>everyone comes to me for tech support
>join military
>the call me while im at home station for support
>go on deployment
>check Facebook on the rare occasion I'm able to
>they're still asking me for tech support
>mfw
Fucking hell. You can't escape it.
>>321062092
Nah.
>>321062210
>>321062246
Yes, but can those be done while the laptop is turned off and battery empty? It's been months and the battery might have gotten fucked up during this time too.
>>321059141
>male sysadmin
You will never find porn on my pc.
It's all stashed on my nas.
Do u live in the Netherlands? I need a nerd girl as gf
>>321062287
Big dicks are to girls as big tits and asses are to boys. Black men just tend to have the biggest, thickest, juiciest and you get the pictureI looked up the same shit at her age, don't worry, she's normal, mostlyif her first boyfriend is tyrese then you have my permission to panic
>>321062656
>We turned our heads towards dad
>"Uhhh... I think those games caused them to appear anon!"
>>321061014
I rarely ever use websites where the potential to get malware is possible, but I like to have some software installed for peace of mind.
>>321062756
Tell them to learn how to google and they can fix pretty much anything by themselves.
>>321062707
>Vision is 20/21
>Can get a ticket if I get pulled over while not wearing glasses or contacts
>install adblock
>install WoT
>install malwarebytes
>install CCleaner
Should we include anything else to this list? Common sense sadly cannot be installed.
>>321060294
iPhones can't open 80 tabs
![8].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/hF5zu0i.jpg "8].jpg")
