Satan appears out of nowhere and compliments you on your vidya skill but claims to be better himself.
He challenges you to a 1v1 in any game of your choice. If you win you get the platform you played on made of gold. If you lose he gets your soul and video games.
Do you accept?
If so what game/platform and how do you win?
Are you the best there's ever been?
>>320013901
Does he get my steam account if I loose?
>>320013901
Fuck no. I read too much fiction to know no one has ever beat the devil out of it just like that.
>>320013901
joke's on him I don't even play vidya
Hearthstone.
It's a 50/50 who wins regardless of skill :^)
And if I loose, he can keep the game and play with the other blizzbabbiesgive me my golden pc, goatman
>>320014391
you have already lost
Jak X: Combat Racing
>>320014268
Plus how much is a gold vidya system even worth?
>>320013901
Chance of losing my soul to Lucifer?
I'll pass on that.
>>320013901
I refuse
You're stupid if you think you can beat Satan.
>>320013901
>gold 'platform'
>eternal damnation and hellfire
what a bargain
>>320013901
>imblyig a gold pc culd play game
Im onto your triks, Stan.
>chose a game that is only for singleplayr
>satan is mad
>"umadsatanbro?"
>>320013901
>implying I haven't already given my soul to chaos
>>320013901
That's Baphomet, not Satan. Learn your goddamn demons.
>>320014268
you dont listen to much music it seems
>>320013901
this is a shitty deal sofor that reason, im out
Double Dash. None of my friends will play with me.
>>320014849
Well, duh, but not every one is born with TENAC mark on his ass tho
>>320013901
>either lose my platform because of some shitty Midas trick or my vidya colletion
>>320013901
Play him in a game of faith.
Turn my heart into gold
>>320013901
Hell yes. Yu gi oh tag force 3
>>320013901
>Baphomet is Satan
>making deals with demons
>ever
>it's just a console-shaped gold piece that doesnt work for playing games and the deal never established the quality of the gold so it's probably low karat
Yeah, no.
Nah, Satan. You've already got Kurt Cobain. I'd rather not have to put up with an eternal Nirvana concert.
Besides, Jesus and I are gonna co op it up tonight on Killing Floor 2. He's gonna bring Michael out, and we're gonna get responsibly drunk while playing some vidya.
>>320013901
That's not Satan, it's Baphomet.
>Play a game of exhentai
>Whoever gets butthurt first over NTR loses
I'm sure I'd win this one.
Which religion has the best Satan?
>>320015918
Nidhogg. Germanic mythology, a dragon living at one of the three roots of the cosmic tree Yggdrasil. The freezing mist and darkness of Niflheim, which was the lowest of the nine worlds, was where the dragon lived, ripping corpses apart and eating them. Between mouthfulls he would send the squirrel Ratatosk up the cosmic tree on an errand of insult. [...] when momentarily tired of the taste of dead flesh Nidhogg would gnaw at the root of Yggdrasil itself.”
I would decline, how would a golden pc work?
>>320015918
I hope you are not implying Beelzebub is Satan.
>>320015918
>>320016861
ooohh I get it. It's BEElzebub, because it's a bee!
heh, never wouldve guessed
>>320013901
>racemixing
most offensive thing t b h f a m
>>320015918
Skull and crossbones on the wings ruin it
>>320017341
He is the lord of the FLIES, not the bees,
>>320017341
>Beelzebub(Lord of the Flies)
>>320015130
fuck that girl with the lightsworn deck
that deck is made out of rape and i dont like it at all
>>320016861
Then what the fuck is he?
>>320013901
I don't because I don't excel at any vidya I play, because I don't play to get pro mlg skills
inb4 a million "CTR" answers. Every single person on the planet thinks he's the absolute best at Crash Team Racing.
>>320013901
You never make a deal with the devil
>>320013901
Quake 3 Dreamcast
Standard controller only..
>>320014268
>not getting it
>>320017817
>tfw satan starts the race before the counter finishes
>>320013901
Okay, so I get a piece of gold or lose my soul and all my vidya?
That sounds like a shitty ratio.
Mario Party
He will concede at the first Chance time
Is there any game where Satan can't cheat against you?
>>320013901
>Satan
But that's Baphomet.
Any game
I'll lose on purpose.
End my suffering.
>>320018061
Gone home
But I already have a Gold PS4
>Betting your soul AND your vidya for a golden console
>Betting your soul in competition against a magical creature that could feasibly have inhuman abilities
I'll pass
>>320017473
Don't blame Kaneko, he just based it off of a rather prominent illustrations of Beelzebub.
>>320013901
>making a deal with the Prince of Lies
Yeah, no thank you
>>320013901
oh my fuck OP thank you for reminding me about this statue
oklahoma capitol building has the ten commandments erected somewhere on its frounds, so a satirist drew up a proposal to add a statue of baphomet playing with two little kids
when they said no, he challenged them to justify the current choice of religious statue
>>320018094
>get tormented for all eternity in hell
>end suffering
Boy, you seem to have misunderstood something.
>>320018261
maybe satan is a bro
>>320018261
But it will be NEW suffering.
Guitar Hero TTFAF. I'm capable of FCing that song and play it every so often for kicks. Worst case scenario he's just as good as me and we have a draw. Best case scenario I use star power more viably or he doesn't hit every note and loses like a bitch.
>>320013901
Payday 2 and see if he won't cheat and buy all the dlc.
>>320017476
>>320017554
I must be retarded
>>320018474
>expecting satan not to cheat
>>320014268
Johnny did. He showed the devil how it's done.
>>320018515
It is ok, the average person doesn't know the fallen by name and they just plaster the title Satan on all of them.
AND WE PLAYED THE FIRST GAME THAT CAME TO MY MIND
JUST SO HAPPENED TO BE
THE BEST GAME IN THE WORLD
IT WAS THE BEST GAME IN THE WORLDWhat was its name, /v/?
Mario Party 3.
Get Chance Time and steal all his stars.
GG2EZ
why would you ever accept a challenge from the devil
ESPECIALLY on his terms
even if you won, wouldn't you go to hell for consorting with him knowingly
>>320018729
Melty Blood tbhu
IRL I'd flip a coin though.
Nah.
Chances are the gold vidya platform he's offering will overheat and melt.
>>320018729fuck off
fuck no unless satan's a normie
I'm not risking my soul over a fucking gold PC
>>320013901
Any game with a binary moral choice system.
>come on, Satan
>I thought you said you could be as GOOD as me
>>320018706
nigga let me level with you
weird al didn't go to the drive-thru
kurt cobain didn't pass his meat back and forth
eminen didn't kill his girlfriend
the misfits didn't collect skulls (maybe)
and johnny sure as fuck didn't beat the devil just because someone sang about it
if we exist in a universe where this happens, then Devil Went Down To Georgia would basically be a made-up Humanity Fuck Yeah song
>win the bet
>get gold console
>it's so hollow you can bend it with your bare hands
Don't believe his lies
>>320015440
Kek
But that isn't lucifer. That's a eastern pagan god that goes by the name baphomet
Pokemon
6v6, Metapods only.
>>320019136
Nah, Johnny was just using what God gave him to kick ass. That's the real moral of the song.
>>320014490
>not wanting to chill in hell with goatbro for all eternity
Do you hate fun?
>>320013901
>If you win you get the platform you played on made of gold.
That's all? I get a fucking golden console? Fuck you and fuck your shitty thread OP.
>>320013901
>choose HoMM III
>Satan stylishly chooses Inferno
>i win
>>320019303
>Satan hacks his Metapods to have maxed stats and Giga Impact
>>320019495
>chill
>hell
>>320013901
>Satan appears out of nowhere
He gets the fist
>>320015105
Anon, that's going to kill you.
>>320019623
>what is the Ninth Circle
>>320019118
kek
Beat that fucker at his own game
>>320013901
>any game
I challenge him to a game of circle jerk
>>320019303
>not 6v6 Wobbuffets
>>320019504
But if you sell that Golden console, you'll have enough money to buy a regular console! And maybe even a single game for it!
>>320018706
Johnny fucking lost. Johnny had lost before the devil even went to Georgia. Whether or not Johnny "wins" it's really the devil who does. If Johnny straight up loses, the devil gets his soul. If Johnny "wins" (which he did) then he gives into pride, greed, and temptation, meaning later the devil will still get his soul.
>>320013901
What a shitty trade off.
Fuck off back to the underworld please.
What's even more horrifying than the devil appearing is the confirmation that God exists. Which means I've been sinning my entire life, which means I'm going to hell. So I'll have to be "good" for the rest of my life then. Fuck.
>>320018385
Not for long friend
>>320019773
bill you fucking pedo
>>320020116
Boy do I have news for you...
>>320013901
What a fucking moron. That's Baphomet, not Satan.
>>320013901
Skate 2.
I was top 10 in the PS3 leaderboards for S.K.A.T.E. and top 20 for Deathraces
>>320019773
You fucking pedo.
>>320013901
The potential risk is way to high compared to reward. Hells nah, I wont play him.
I'll take his bet, he's gonna regret, 'cause I'm the best there's ever been.
>>320015086
Not only that, you'd need to find a bro with an IOUS D ass mark too
>>320020116
>Which means I've been sinning my entire life, which means I'm going to hell.
You do know that you can be forgiven for your sins, right?
I mean, i'm no Christfag, but even God acknowledges that humans are imperfect. I'm pretty sure half the purpose of going to church is to be forgiven.
Mario party 3 waluigi island mother fucker
>>320018067
same shit
>>320014995
The biggest cunt in the Shark Tank is Damon, followed by Mark Cuban.
>>320018706
Then the devil came back and locked him in an eternal duel for his soul and music. I ain't touching any deal with Lucy for anything and nobody can make me.
>>320015279
>making deals with demons
This. You're not gonna look good in God's eyes when he finds out you were dealing with Satan. And then he gets your soul anyway.
GG
>>320013901
If he's in Baphomet form like your pic, I choose SMT: Strange Journey and wipe the floor with his ass
>>320019902
in my opinion Johnny only lost because the devil had a better segment by a country fuckin' mile
![wordheroes2-nes[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/rfA393P.jpg "wordheroes2-nes[1].jpg")
my best chance
I just use leo and spam his slide kick and hope i get the first hit
>>320018230
neat
>>320021813
>goetia grimoire
>all these demons that give you super powers when you summon them
>expect you can't because it sends you to hell
Well fuck you too Solomon
>>320022034
>dat bass line during the Devil's bit
>>320019206
this
>get gold console
>it's a pyrite version of the chinese knockoff of your console
I play him in CPMA.
I obviously lose, but I enjoy the match because losing is as fun as winning in CPMA.
Then I realize I just lost my soul and videogames, and ask Satan if he can set up a LAN in hell
>>320022184
Solomon was fucking based man.
I wanna see satan's skills at Chivalry: Medieval Warfare
Think Satan is good at fighting games?
>Straight out losing your soul and dooming yourself to an eternity of hell-fire.
>Succumbing to greed/pride and dooming yourself to an eternity of hell-fire.
>>320022692
Akuma and Evil Ryu are traditionally the best SF characters, as are the devil Mishimas in Tekken
you can probably fuck him over in Darkstalkers because Jedah is trash
>>320015918
Islam actually
>>320018061
Blackjack?
I guess I challenge him to Arcana Heart 3: Love Max!!!!! on a head-to-head Nesica cabinet. I don't imagine that the devil is very good at little girl fighting games, and gold Nesica cabinets are probably pretty expensive
>>320022958
Would you really place your soul on a game of chance? Then again, you do have a better chance of winning than pretty much any vidya game
Halo pc
Even if you somehow win, that has a tendency to not work out very well.
>>320018061
The game of life
I bet my soul he'd end up being a dirty NEET
>>320013901
guitar hero
>>320022863
How so?
Sonic 2. I can beat it in under 30 minutes. I don't think satan stands a chance.
>>320013901
gh3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89p8ya3ZdnQ
In a competition of being a pathetic kissless virgin loser,Ive got this in the bag. Y-you lose, Satan!
>>320023431
>turns your dick into gold
>>320013901
>Total War Shogun 2
>Challenge him to a multiplayer campaign
>It desynchronises before we finish
>We try again
>It desynchronises again
>This keeps happening
>We never manage to finish a campaign
>Live forever
>compliments you on your vidya skill
Just because I'm a failure at everything else doesn't mean that I am good at vidya. I'm a failure at everything else not because I waste too much time mastering vidya, but because I'm a failure.
I challenge him to a game of anything and lose, I doubt my soul is worth anything so in the end the devil loses because he gets his time wasted for nothing.
>star wars battlefront 2k15
>walker assault
>I'd pick imperial
>:)
>>320023315
Definitely the most interesting, especially how salty he gets after getting his shit wrecked.
Also has more direct contact with various prophets and their antagonists.
>>320023582
>the devil loses
He gets to see your sorry ass burn in hell m8, he can't lose
I'd challenge him to a game of soggy biscuit. Guaranteed Satan has more sexual stamina than me. Even if he does cum first I get to eat Satan's jizz and absorb some of his power
>>320013901
Civ 5, all DLC.
Lets go faggot.
Pong. Particularity one written in BASIC. I bet Satan is a pleb that only knows #C or something.
>>320023698
But rebels always win at the last base due to airspeeders and a retard occupying the AT-ST
>>320023995
Satan programs exculsively in Malbolge
>>320023549
>Not knowing you can counter desync by giving the save file to the other player who didn't encounter the desync.
I hope Satan doesn't know how to use google
Jet Set Willy on Atari 130XE. The first to finish it wins.It can't be beaten because of a bugI know how to exploit another bug to overcome previous bug
>>320023863
Great, at least one person will notice me.
>>320024013
>1v1
>>320023995
>satan using any language
>Not programming directly in binary
To be honest something like Black Ops 2 or Guitar Hero. They're fucking garbo games but I'm literally godlike at them
>>320024105
>>320023995
No. Satan is behind Javascript so that's exactly what he uses.
>>320024526
>Satan got kicked out of heaven for being a shit programmer.
It all makes sense now
I fucking dominated at Red Dead Redemption.
One time I went up against a clan of about 5 people by myself (they tricked me or something) and I absolutely ruined them. I had hatemail for about a week afterwards.
That was one of the few games where I was legitimately good and then after a while the hackers come on and they bring the lag-abusers. I think the same happened with GTA IV after a while.
>>320021361
That is some russian roulette shit anon, you got some balls.
>>320013901
>Playing vidya
>when you could be having the best sex of your life
>not wanting to be satan fuccboi
>>320019136
Pretty Al went to the drive-thru at some point
And that Kurt did pass his meat back and forth
>>320016861
>In Biblical sources, Beelzebub is another name for The Devil
>>320024978
>gay people are this retarded
Y'all need jesus
>>320025045
Matters what sources you are going by or what you believe in, in Christian Demonology he is one of the seven princes of hell. You do know other angels besides Lucifer fell, they have names.
>>320025253
What, are you telling me you wouldn't have sex with the old god of sex? Seriously before christianity he was the representation of manliness, virility and sex, what's there to not love and worship?
>>320019319
imo johnny lost the moment he accepted the devil's wager. it's falling to temptation where he gets you, not playing a fiddle
>my name's johnny and it may be a sin
devil gave him that fiddle and laughed his way to hell. DWDTG, to me, his a sad story about some fool who plays a mean fiddle
>>320025510
>god of love
>satan a god
>ever
Exorcise yourself
>>320025510
Well he is Satan. He only gets off if you are having a bad time. So whatever is your preference, Satan would make it the worst experience because he hates you
>>320021916
is that the M1911 from Honest Hearts?
goddamn
Fallout 3, get max karma, fuck him over with his own wording
>>320025706
>>320025751
Satan is "the opponent" but OP posted a pic of bapho.
Bapho is inspired by the old horned god which appears on both the old celtic and greek religions. On both he was considered the god that represented the male aspects of life such as the phalus, the hunt, and sex.
Christianity turned him into a "demon" (word that comes from the greek daemon) to make sure people stopped worshiping him. Read a book niggers I thought all I said was already common knowledge even with the most plebeians.
>>320026251
>Celtic horned god
That's Cernunnos, he ain't god of sex pham
And Baphomet is a demonization of Mohammed btw
>>320023315
BecauseTHE SHAITAN IS EVERYWHERE. WATCHING, WAITING. HE TEMPTS US ALWAYS. BE STRONG, STRONG LIKE SALADIN!
>>320013901
>Are you the best there's ever been?
Nope. I'm probably the worst there's ever been. So sorry Satan. You're not getting my soul today.
>>320013901
If it's a platform made of gold, will it still be able to play video games? Fuck that, I'd want abfinstead.
>>320026765
TEXAS
E
X
A
S
>platform made out of gold
>with the risk of losing your soul
Seems like a pretty bad deal desu senpai baka
I'm not a prideful asshole that thinks he can beat satan
hell I can barely keep up with you faggots
also a golden console sounds like a total waste of space
>>320026498
I didn't cited names because that would probably confuse them even more, but if you consider that one of the few statuettes of has his dick erect then yes, he is the god of sex.
>And Baphomet is a demonization of Mohammed btw
How so when bapho is literally called The Horned God, Goat of Mendes, Baphomet, God of the Witches, the scapegoat."
The witches i.e. wiccans which are are modern representation of the old pantheistic religions.
>>320024978
>Play the game of who can make the other cum a hundred times in the least amount of time
Hey you'll lose but atleast you go out in pure bliss.
Why would he want my shitty soul?
It's got no fire and probably tastes like chalk.
>>320026979
Baphomet is a false god made up by the medieval church so they could burn muslims m8
Besides
>sex with gods
>implying your mortal ass won't instantly die and suffer in hell for blasphemy forever
>>320027070
Don't know if I'd mind losing, the sentence "giving your soul" basically sounds like "you entered a relationship" anyway.
The idea that he'd want my soul is pretty flattering actually.
No.
Next question?
>>320027529
>he doesn't know that satan just wants to reap as many human souls as possible
>>320013901
>Satan (Baphomet): The thread
>>320028291
>people ITT implying Baphomet is Satan
>people ITT defending Satan
disgusting
>>320013901
Forklift Truck Simulator 2015
The problem is that the game I'm most skilled at is Melee, and Satan probably has a 20XX Fox ready to bust out at a moment's notice.
>>320014770
Baphomet is a Devil you dense motherfucker
No one would accept this, it is too stacked in satans favor. A gold console is nothing.
I thought satan was smart at tricking people.
>>320013901
nice try OP, that's Baphomet, faggot.
Joke's on him, because of DRM I don't own video games, and because of /v/ I don't have a soul.
>>320013901
>challenging Satan for a chance to win a golden PC
You'd think Lucifer could make the offer at least somewhat tempting.
>>320013901
>implying Baphomet is Satan
Pokemon
I pick funbro
But souls don't exist anon, neither does Satan
>>320032535NO FUN ALLOWED
What if it was the Robot Devil instead? Would it be an easier time? He DID get bet in a fiddle contest by beating the shit out of him with the fiddle.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j4hHlXZAxZg
>>320030572
But he is not Satan.
>>320027753
>confounding satan and baphomet
>>320015279
>not wanting to recruit Baphomet
>>320033573
You did that twice m8
Don't even know who you're talking about anymore
Either way OP is a fag for thinking Baphomet is Satan
>Satan is a goat
kek fuck off catholics
>>320019303
You two battle until you die of old age/exhaustion, and Satan takes your soul.
>>320013901Guitar Hero 3
![01.09 - Hell Is Other Robots.mp4_snapshot_19.12_[2015.12.13_14.37.30].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Spze1r4.jpg "01.09 - Hell Is Other Robots.mp4_snapshot_19.12_[2015.12.13_14.37.30].jpg")
>>320013901
Wouldn't a solid gold console weight hundreds of pounds and have overheating problems?
>>320013901
That's baphomet you filthy casual
