Oh shit nigger, you're a Barbarian.
You and your party fell down into some noble's dungeon of 100 trials while you were trying to find a kidnapped party member.
What do you do?
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
Yell really fucking hard.
>>316661727
Charge in blindly
>>316661727
punch yourself
fire punch yourself
Punch the darkness inside that doorway
Review roster and status of current party members
>>316661879
YOu charged in blindly. The room is dark and you can't see shit.
>>316662018
light up your fire fingers
>>316662018
Close eyes and let you heart guide you
>>316662018
Punch darkness
>>316662137
You punched the darkness. No effect
these autistic as fuck role playing threads have nothing to do with video games
>>316662190
Use your detective vision to see
cast fist
Use echolocation from fist punching to navigate darkness
>>316662516
'sup
>>316662516
Oh hello there. You're doing the trials too?
>>316662516
LIGHT UP THE NIGHT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkLvpt9Z3fA
>>316662569
"Hi, so uh....doing the trials huh"
>>316662771
Pinch him to see if he's real
>>316662771
"yup"
>>316662898
"Right, then I'll just....go back into the darkness and give you some space then"
>>316663126
light up harder
it's still pretty dark in here
>>316663126
attack him
>>316663334
You move froward to pinch the man, but he has disappeared
>>316663508
burn the room
>>316663519
burn everything
>>316663508
press onwards
>>316663508
Invert the colors
>>316663519
"Well I guess that's one way of solving this trial"
>>316663830
look at remnants
>>316663830
Punch self in face
>>316663905
You see the man dangling from the ceiling
>>316663830
loot room
>>316664119
"Katana is a shit sword"
>>316664119
"did I pass the test?"
>>316664119
loot man
>>316664119
Eat the fire
>>316664236
"errr...yes. You may go through the door over there"
>>316664442
go through the door
>>316664442
Yay
Proceed with party members
>>316664442
Give him a thumbs up and leave
>>316664442
Throw a rock at him
>>316664517
In the next room you see 3 pedestals, each with one weapon stuck to it.
>>316664781
Equip one of the pedestals.
>>316664781
The secret weapon that no one can see but you.
>>316664781
Take them all
>>316664781
TAKE THE SWORD
>>316664781
Is this a metaphor?
>>316664781
Fuck the weapons, take a pedestal.
>>316664781
we have fists, we dont need shit
>>316664781
Grab all three and combine them into one weapon.
Is thread going to live or get nuked by mods?
>>316664781
Destroy them with your fists.
Prove that you are the ultimate weapon
>>316664857
You took the sword. The other two cumbles to dust and the door opens
>>316665050
How many trials are there left, you assholes
>>316665050
Take the dust.
Just in case.
>>316665050
Skip to door 100 because barbarian logic says so
>>316665050
take the dust of both weapons as well
>>316665050
turn the sword into dust
>>316665050
Huff the dust and gain cool new weapon powers.
>>316665050
eat dust
>>316665079
"95!" yelled the noble from upstairs
>>316665319
A little girl with maxed strength appears
>>316665319
Throw a sword at him and proceed.
>>316665319
meanwhile
the little girl we need to save...
>>316665319
Plow through all the rooms to door 100
>>316665319
The next trial pushes our culinary skills to the limit - we must cook spaghetti
>>316665319
Leap up there using the sword as a pogo stick.
>>316665319
Pocket-sand that bitch with the noble pinpoint accuracy of your barbarian vision.
>>316665319
Fast forward to trial 99
>>316665319
use the swords power to go to trial 95
>>316665684
saving the girl was trial 95.
congratulations
>>316665684
that's dangerous, young lady
>>316665684
An event occurs
>>316665684
reminiscence previous exploits
>>316665684
Shout a swear word at noble and proceed.
>>316665684
Yell "I WILL RESCUE YOU!" whilst striking a pose so powerful that it temporarily and significantly improves the production value of the image depicting said pose.
>>316665746
"You're still in trial 6 you dumb savage"
>>316665925
Right, better hurry up then
>>316665925
ask cleric to pray for a god to help us or somethin
>>316665925
no you're in trial 6 you dumb savage
>>316665925
Savage your way to door 99 with savage god might! Did we forget he's god now?
>>316665925
MONTAGE!
>>316665925
Think about how huge your beard will get when you reach trial 99.
>>316665989
God is considering the cleric's prayers to allow you to be a casual and skip the trials
>>316666216
All of a sudden, a giant pair of hands grab Gladiator and pull him into the darkness! Lightning Wizard tries to do something, but the floor opens up underneath him, causing him to fall into an abyss! What a wacky series of events.
>>316666216
god pls
>>316666216
slap the cleric
>>316666216
"im not casual!" proceed with the trials!
>>316666216
God gets distracted by cameo shenanigans.
>>316666216
Stub your toe
>>316666216
god gets bored and blows a hole in the wall you can just walk through
>>316666269
"Please do not interrupt the prayer"
>>316666492
WE CAN'T BE CASULS
>>316666492
All of a sudden a vision of the BAD END flashes into our minds
pls god
>>316666509
"Yes, that's it. Casuals are bad. No skipping"
>>316666749
Trial 6 is a vision. A vision of...the BAD END.
>>316666749
"Fuck You"
We must become the epitome of cool
Wear only black armor
>>316666749
How about half, and a tray of cookies?
>>316666749
Get a different cleric.Cameo time.
>>316666749
Let cleric tell god that he's a faget and proceed.
>>316666666
>>316666749
All that god monologue has created a time vortex that delivers us to the 98 trail
>>316666749
I thought canon was god
>>316666885
Only God is canon.
>>316666809
>barbarian
>armor
>>316666749
Barbarian god says Fuck you to regular god
>>316666985
MY SKIN IS HARDER THAN ANY ARMOR
>>316666985
fug this shit
go zerker rage and bulldoze through other trials except the last
>>316667056
"Greetings, brother"
"Ah! Brother Orc Cleric, what brings you here?"
>>316667305
What ho Orc Cleric! Might you pray us a mighty ward?
>>316667305
Ask Orc Cleric to ask God to let us skip the trials.
>>316667305
Trial #6 is a favourite of his
>>316667305
DOUBLE PRAYER
>>316667340
>0
>0
>0
i think the rolls are telling you to give up
>>316667305
turn crosshair hat and shirt into swastika hat and shirt by drawing with blood
>>316667305
Pray to dakka god
>>316667389
"Again with the skipping. Fine, I can't reject this amount of prayers, now what trial should I skip to..."
>>316667525
90
the last ten trials are always intense
>>316667525
Back to 100
>>316667525
THE HARDEST TRIAL
We're only half casual
>>316667525
the one where I kick your ass
>>316667525
to the next one
>>316667559
"Very well"
>>316667829
Trial 90 is...PSYCHOLOGICAL PAIN! We begin to hallucinate the most tragic events of our lives
>>316667829
Sick montage of rewinding.
>>316667829
Wait wait too fast
>>316667874
Like...that time in barbaarian highschool where your love letter was rejected
>>316667305
Orc cleric will get us through this mean while barbarian go and regular god are in a fist fight
>>316668095
But now we're badass! And we can write badass love letters that Suzy Wilcott couldn't possibly resist now!
>>316668095
BARBARIANS DONT GO TO SCHOOL
SEE THROUGH THR ILLUSION
>>316668095
And that time where our mother got eaten by a giant beast
>>316668095
Pain is fuel for your RAGE!
Finish these trials.
>>316668095
Well, that was pretty much it. On to the next trial!
>>316668159
Which was riiight after you got rejected
>>316668318
And don't forget the time where our older brother was killed by a knight of the Empire
Stabbed right through the heart he was
>>316668318
Get FIERY PISSED OFF
HOW DARE THEY
>>316668318
Meanwhile Barbarian God fights God
>>316668318
And your dad told you were adopted from a drug family
>>316668318
Luckily, cleric blesses us and we get on with it.
>>316668384
"You have denied my barbarians help for the last time, I must defeat you"
"Oh no! Barbarian god! I thought I ate you!"
>>316668550
Don't forget the time where we accidentally killed Chad's younger brother. We were pretty good friends until that little mistake happened
>>316668550
God uses Barabarian God sockpuppet to persuade us to get to the next trial.
>>316668629
"Persuade" right?
>>316668550
Harness the power of your barbarian teen angst and smash through the wall to trial #91.
>>316668629
"Go forth my warrior! Defeat the trials and claim victory! Listen to your Barbarian god and definitely not just God using a sockpuppet because he killed the real one and ate him a long time ago"
>>316668782
Recover and proceed to trial 91
the cooking trial
>>316668782
Well, if Barbarian God says so...
>>316668782
You got it B.G.!
>>316668782
Flash back to the event of god killing and eating barbarian god
>>316668917
>>316668782
But that's the next trial room, viewing a documentary.
>>316668859
And so you press on. The trial keeps reliving your terrible memories, like that one time in Barbarianstop when you dropped your spaghetti while trying to purchase a new axe
>>316669229
Press further
>>316669229
Get over it. You're a barbarian.
>>316669229
FUCKING BARBARIANSTOP
Luckily, the memories of actually bought sick axe let you press on to the next trial.
>>316669329
NOt to be beaten, the trial relives the memory where that very same axe was taken by an Imperial Knight to kill your brother
>>316669575
crawl though with determination
>>316669575
Heart HP 10/100
you can't take much more of this
>>316669575
Can we level up for all this suffering endured?
>>316669575
All of a sudden the most awesome memories spring to mind.
When you kissed your first barbarian girlfriend, when you and you brothers played "guess where I will punch you " with the Imperial Knights and how you defeat the giant monster in the box dungeon.I love these threads mang, never fails to make me grin.
>>316669575
ANIKI
>>316669575
The fuck is wrong with you, you fucking pansy. Barbarians don't get sad, don't get depressed, BARBARIANS GET ANGRY. BARBARIAN RAGE AT MAXIMUM.
>>316669575
Brutal.
>>316669645
Another traumatic memory: the time when you found out Santa Claus was actually just a wizard in a red robe.
>>316669915
Heart HP 10/100
here comes the most depressing memory of all...
>>316669915
THAT FAT FUCK STILL OWE ME A TRICYCLE
>>316669915
I don't know, wizard in red robe is pretty close to Santa Claus. At least it's not one of the relatives.
>>316669915
We don't believe in santa claus, the only person we believe in is odin since he got rid of the frost giants.
>>316669915
Berserker rage fills you with ... rage and you blast to the next trial, because Fuck wizard santa!
>>316669979
Another memory, which was right after Santa tells you he's out of tricycles, The King rode past you on his and yelled "AHAHA, FUCKING BARBARIANFAGS"
>>316670224
These memories are getting out of hand. Surely, this is an illusion.
>>316670224
Young Merc punches him and takes it.
>>316670224
By suddenly experiencing all these depressing memories our immunity to depression has leveled up enough to get us past this trail.
>>316670224
I thought I won the choice of choices... fine another memory going past trail 91!
>>316670337
It was also the first time that you witnessed the royal family dysfunction
>>316670573
Who's memory is this!?
>>316670573
God gets tired of watching memories and rewinds to trial 91.
>>316670573
>>316670614
Dickass Thief stole them.
>>316670573
All these memories were actually trials
>>316670704
Mother fucker trail 99
>>316670656
And so God opens up the door to 91.
Passing through 90 rials have given you a bunch of XP. Level up now?
>>316670956
All points into Fist.
>>316670956
Yes
put all point into luck
>>316670956
Yes.
>>316670956
Yes.
>>316670956
yes
>>316671000
trips!
>>316671000
>trips
FIrst allocate stats
>>316671129
all to str
>>316671129
ALL IN INT
>>316671129
All in luck baby
>>316671129
24 to STR, 1 to LUK, lock in.
>>316671129
LUK
>>316671129
even them all out as much as possible
>>316671129
Mystery box
>>316671129
You put everything into strength
then you unlock a special strength tier ability.
>>316671129
All into luk
>>316671385
Eh, lock in.
>>316671385
no, dump into STR
>>316671385
yes next screen
>>316671385
Take it back put into luk
>>316671429
hmmmmmmm
>>316671552
yes, perfect. next
>>316671552
yes LOCK IN
>>316671552
>you now learn the Ultimate God Punch of Super Rage
>>316671552
Looking good, we're gonna hit real hard.
>>316671552
Lock
You get Barbarian God's strenght as a reward for leveling str so much.
>>316671552
Nevermind, all in Luck. Lock in and continue.
>>316671552
Mystery box lock in.
>>316671552
lock in
>>316671552
STRONG
>>316671628
All in luck, boop.
Now class points
>>316671718
ALL IN BARD
>>316671718
all to warlord
lock in
>>316671718
WARLORD, LIKE BARBARIAN BUT WITH MORE PEOPLE.
>>316671718
> Everything into warlord
>>316671718
Warlord, now we can pillage with armies
>>316671718
All Barbarian lock in.
>>316671718
Pump Bard.
>>316671749
Boop. You are now a Barbarian Warlord. You get some stat increase in STR, END and CHA and get more followers and some new perks.
Loading perks....
>>316671905
there better be good ones
>>316671905
Put everything in having Warlord orgies.
>>316671905
Sweet
Now you can create your own Barbarian Empire, which will be your ultimate goal after saving the little girl-
>>316671979
And killing the King to avenge the genocide of your tibe, that too.
But now, perks.
>>316672214
all to burning finger
>>316672214
ALL IN GREAT FORTUNE
>>316672214
Berzerker Rage and Leader
our increased luck stat lets us pick 2 perks
lock in
>>316672214
great fortune
>>316672214
Leader
>>316672214
Rage and might, lock in.
>>316672257
With all the level ups you can choose 3 times, you wanna use them all to Upgrade Burning Finger to Burning Finger V?
>>316672450
yes
>>316672450
Burning finger 5 and berzerker rage, lock in
luck stat allows for that 1 extra perk
>>316672450
No, choose rage, might and burning finger, lock in.
>>316672450
Leader, Rage and Good fortune.
