>Luke, did I ever tell you about the time I sent your sister to be raised in opulence as a princess while I sent you to be raised as a farmer by a small-minded fool?
>>71956842
>small minded
>able to grow crops IN A FUCKING DESERT
>survive for decades, while surrounded on all sides by HURR URR URR sandniggers
Uncle Owen may have been a salty bastard, but he was no fool.
>>71956842
>being this angsty about not being able to go to Tosche Station
Go to bed, Luke
duh,
gender politics isn't new
>>71956842
Women always get shit handed to them. That's why boys earn their right to become men.
>>71956904
Owen was a tool. He grew moisture, not plants.
>>71956842
And it was all good because, in the end, it lead to the Fall of the Empire and the demise of the Emperor.
All those seemingly foolish decisions brang balance to the Force.
Yes, even the Jar Jar thing.
>>71956842
Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, (but the limbs I amputated wouldn't allow it)
>>71959372
>Fall of the Empire
NOT CANON
>>71959454
Pic related JJ shoop when?I'm on muh phone
>>71959433
Anakin was a mistake.
Let's not talk about it anymore.
Luke, did I ever tell you about Bidlo Kwerve? He was a Corellian pirate and smuggler who served Jabba Desilijic Tiure. A tall, grizzled man with scarred features and a mane of black hair, he was known for his greediness and hot temper, and was quick to respond to any perceived insults. Kwerve and a Twi'lek named Bib Fortuna competed to become Jabba's new majordomo after the Hutt deemed his previous retainer, Naroon Cuthus, too old and incapable of carrying out his duties. Kwerve and Fortuna hated each other with a passion and went to great lengths to prove themselves in Jabba's eyes, though Jabba considered each as incompetent as the other. Kwerve disliked Jabba's top pilot, Han Solo, and the two often clashed, both in words and with blasters. Around 2 BBY, he considered leaving Jabba's employ because of the continual menial tasks that were being asked of him, and though Fortuna encouraged him to quit, he never did. Shortly before the Battle of Yavin, Kwerve discovered a crashed ship in the Tatooinian desert, with a live rancor inside it. Hoping to present the beast to Jabba for his birthday, he begrudgingly sought the aid of Fortuna to help him transport it to Jabba's Palace. Jabba was impressed with the initiative shown by his two top lieutenants and offered to make one of them his new majordomo; the other would be given the "greater honor," though Jabba did not specify what this was. Ever greedy, Kwerve accepted the "greater honor"—he became the rancor's first victim and was devoured in a pit below Jabba's court.
Anyway, I only bring this up because in about four years you're going to pick up his skull and throw it at a panel to drop a massive door down on that very same rancor. He'll get his revenge on the rancor, from a certain point of view.
>>71959757He was a good friend
>Luke did I ever tell you that the source of The Force was a fucking tree out on the front lawn? And that your father was never the chosen one, but we thought he was and it caused all sorts of problems? I wanted you to know this because there will be a strong female character named Rey introduced in oh about 30 some years and she will be strong in The Force because she is the real chosen one, thus pretty much making my adventures pointless and many of yours as well. Girl power, Luke.
>>71960107
>But why would Jews slaughter canon, unless.... WAKE ME UP
>>71959922
Damn thats poetry
>>71956842
Luke was with family atleast. Although that was probably a bad idea since the jedi temple more than likely has records of where jedi were born and recruited from but i guess they never put 2 and 2 together
>>71956904
They don't grow crops, they take moisture out of the ground
>>71959433
When does this happen?
>>71962278
They harvest moisture out of the air you fucking jawa
>>71956842
O P U L E N C E
You own everything
>>71960107
>your father was never the chosen one, but we thought he was
But he was, he destroyed Palpatine the last Sith (at the time).
Granted it took him a good 20 years past when they thought it would happen but he did it.
![hqdefault[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/54ADqwm.jpg "hqdefault[1].jpg")
Your father's light saber. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster. Your father used it to kill children and commit genocide against sand people. An elegant weapon for a more civilized age.
>>71957991
>tfw you're a 5'4" 120lb manlet
>tfw you will never get snu snu'd by Serena Williams
why even live
>>71956904
doesn't he grow mud?
Luke, did I ever tell you about the time I found a wanted criminal in the middle of an obvious conspiracy to integrate thousands upon thousands of sleeper cells on our side of the war and thought nothing of it?
>>71959922
A certain point of view???????
>>71962979
Why did they replace the actor that played luke?
