>walk into theater
>see this
>no one else there
What do?
pull out knife and rape
>>71773038
Run, there is no way this can be good
>>71773038
Clean up my glasses to remove the horrendous watermark
sit right next to her and make her feel uncomfortable, follow her if she moves.
Scream the opening dialogue of The Dark Knight Rises until she leaves
Fuck women
>>71773038
politely ask if i can sit on the floor in front of her for the duration of the movie while i gently rub/massage/smell/lick/suck her feet
i'd offer to pay her ofc, whatever price she deems reasonable. and if she wishes to record it on her phone and post it to sc/insta etc. well then thats her prerogative
Sit 2 seats over from her so she doesn't feel uncomfortable by my presence.
>>71773038
Why does she have such a spoopy expression ?
>>71773038
Smile at her
>>71773038
*unzips dick*
>>71773158
I know right anon, that's the perfect position for a headshot when you blow your load.
Sit multiple rows away and curse myself for not having the courage to speak to her.
Then cry when I get home.
Sit as far away as possible and cry.
Sit as far away diagonally as possible, think about her the entire movie, go home and cry
>>71773038
Look desperately for the gas vents.
Sit behind her and start making weird moaning noises.
>"MMMMUH 6 MILLION. MMMMMILLION. SIX MMMMILLIONNNN"
>>71773165
She's in heat I think.
>>71773427
>>71773401
>>71773383
A-are you me?
>>71773038
> " I'm sorry miss, I'm the Federal Boob Inspector and I'm here on a special mission to check out your sweet,sweaty boobs.
or stand as far from her as humanly possibly,without making eye contact and leaving as soom as the lights are out, rush home and cry for two or three hours.
Ask her if she wants to go to the cinema showers with me after the flick
>walk up to her
>are you here by yourself?
>haha ya usually I bring my friends too but I came by myself this time too haha
>would you mind if I sit next to you?
>happy but difficult to conceal erection
>previews start
>she says she really wants to see the new ghostbusters
>stand and run up stairs to jump down them in order to kill myself
>>71773038
How the fuck I'd see that if I just walked in to the theater? Is this some kind of backwards world where the entrance is behind the silver screen?
>>71773038
Ask myself wtf I'm doing at the premiere of Ghostbusters
>>71773128
This
>>71773128
Enjoy your ban faggot :^)
>>71773302
Your dick has a zipper?
>>71773038
Sit down and watch the latest Emma Watson film
>>71774762
>worst Emma
Lmaooooooo
>>71773427
This is me except for the crying part.
Sit as far away as possible while still maintaining a good seat
>>71773038
Sit on the seat right behind her. Then wait a minute or two and politely tap her on the shoulder and ask her to move because she's blocking my view.
Sit directly behind her and put my smell ass bare feet on her arm rests at both sides
>>71773038
Honestly...
I'd just pass by her and say: "There's no one else here?"
She'd say Yes and i'd reply "Rather odd" or something along these lines. If she smiled to me while responding i'd ask her if i could sit next to her. If she didn't smile i'd find myself a nice sit on the back and pretend she wasn't there.
>>71773541
>Help! the FBI is after my penis I need your help to hide it!
>>71773541
>>71775075
>>71774883
>>71773083
>>71773125
>>71773302
Classic 4chan autism
>>71773038
I usually start jerking off and cumming on the seat next to me so when a woman sits there, there's a slim probability that she'll get pregnant with my children
>buy a ticket online
>phone ticket says auditorium 1
>walk in to auditorium 1
>old man listening to some baseball game with headphones sitting in the middle
>old couple sitting in back left corner
>sit in 3/4 middle by myself
>old middle aged white lady sits in row in front of me to the right
>rests her leg on the armrest of the chair in front of her
>sit through trailers: blah same woody allen movie, blah some other weird shit
>movie starts playing
>it's some weird music shit in the subway for the opening scene
>this isn't the korean movie i bought a ticket for
>walk out
>see that auditorium 1 is labeled for pic related pretentious garbage
>walk into auditorium where my actual movie is
>phew trailers still playing
>unfortunately people are already there and occupying the seats so i have to sit on the side if I want to sit in the back row
>scope out the audience
>old fat white man sitting in the back middle edge alone
>2 koreans sitting in middle
>some unidentifiable male with a hoodie on in the theatre
>movie starts
>middle aged korean couple walks in
>wife sits directly next to me???
>panic and can't breathe
>move body over to the right edge of my seat away from her and offer her my left armrest as a tribute
>husband sits in the middle edge, one seat away from wife
>wife moves over next to husband
>they crack a CAN of soda open during the movie
>movie ends
>they watch the credits
>I'm trapped and can't get out
White woman in an empty theater me being mexican ..... Im getting the fuck out of there they will charge me for rape
