ITT:
Times you acted like The Joker
I went to bed without brushing my teeth.And told my mom i brushed them
>guy asks me if I'm familiar with the area
>tell him I'm not from around here
I actually was very familiar with the area.
>>70472180
That's just gross
>>70472533
>cashier tells me to have a good day
>i don't
I got my teeth capped with platinum (coated in porcelain), I own knives, and I have worn a tuxedo on several occasions.
>>70472133
Looks like Johnny Depp just after lobbing a brick at Amber's face
>>70472133
>had to stay at my parents house last night >jumped in their spare shower they don't use >they don't keep shampoo in it
>Didn't bother to wake them up
>went into work anyway
We all go a little made sometimes OP
>go to the theater restrooms
>be guy
>pee like a woman
>>70472133
>mom tells me to get a job
>tell her I'm currently searching
>mfw just playing vidya
>>70472575
You madman
Cashier BTFO
>someone tells me something
>heard it clearly
>say "what?"
>buying groceries
>could have given the cashier the appropriate change to not waste his time
>don't
>cashier hands me 1p change
>leave it on the counter
DEVILISH
E
V
I
L
I
S
H
>>70472914
>>70472875
Cashier mind
Took a piss
Left the toilet seat down
SOMEBODY STOP ME
>employees must wash hands
>don't
>>70472133
>late night
>going to chinese food place with pals
>walk by car dealership
>cut all the balloons off the cars.
>>70472997
>customers must tip
>don't
>Kooked up kokane wif bking soda and solt it
>PPPRRRRR
>>70473009
That's kinda fucked up, mate
Played my ds under the covers when I was meant to be asleep.
>>70472734
Why would you want to sit on a public toilet seat?
>>70472745
are you me
>grandma asks me to not put my used cereal spoon inside the powdered chocolate can
>do
>>70472745
Absolute Mad Man
>>70472133
>be kid
>can't sleep at night
>know mom is up watching tv
>sneak up
>sit in the chair next to her
>sit there waiting until she's ready to go to bed
>sit there completely silent watching her
>she gets scared as fuck as she looks over to where i sit
>laugh and go to bed
>some kid in my class was always very quiet
>people didnt hate him but he was strange
>brilliantidea.jpg
>walk around the class in the breaks
>tell all the people some fucked up joke while maintaining a shoked face
>tell them "this one quiet kid told it to me and he laughed hysterically about it, hes so sick guys right??"
>they are all disturbed and kept looking at him in disgust
>everybody thought hes a fucking phycho
cant even remember what joke it was, some fucked up baby joke. i think it was something with "whats white and red and screams? a freshly peeled baby in a barrel of salt"
I taped a rubber spider to my moms bedroom wall.
She gotfreaked outafter trying to hit it with her shoe and I told her it's fake
I once farted and blamed it on someone else
I need to be arrested LOL
>>70472133
>samefagging an entire thread
>from 6 different ips
One time I saw an old lady crossing the street
AND
I
DIDN'T
HELP
HER!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!
>>70473165
Wow, looks nothing alike, faceblind-man and even if it did, who cares? hii haaa hee hoo
Fucking horrible laugh
>>70473251
>proceed to delete thread
Who /JOKERINI/ in here?
https://youtu.be/npcRXLkbum8?t=46s
>be me , get sick
>mom says you should sleep(its 2 am)
>due sickness i cant
>act like im sleeping
>watch tv all night
>just before her alarm ring
>close tv , get in bracket
>good morning mom
MOMS GONNA FREAK
>>70473278
>judging before even seeing the performance
Once I called my dad bald. Tru story.
>>70473419
Even too far for The Joker
I went an entire week without brushing my teeth once.
>mom says dont eat the cookie dough
>Dont do it
>But I thought about it for a good 2 min
>>70473419
Sounds like you'll be going down the same path.
>going through my neihgbor's garbage
>find some letters he forgot to shred
>now i know his address
>>70473165
Is Zach just going for any old new 52 aesthetic or what
>>70472133
I tipped every waiter I met with euros when I was in the US
>>70473114
>not using the toilet paper to cover the whole seat and leaving it there for the next pisser who will inevitably throw it in the toilet clogging it
you're just pawns in my hands
>>70473562
>ask my mom her full name
>now I know her full name
>>70473562
jokes on you I'm your neighbour and that was actually YOUR garbage
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsbIdSGwoEs
>do not celebrated birthdays
>try to remember your age when someone asks
I went through my entire school life without any friends not even nowadays
Pasty white motherfucker with bad hair EVERY DAY.
>>70472914
Money is of no object to u (much like the jorker)
>>70473632
Zach isn't directing it.
>>70472866
Okay i genuinely hate this shit
>moving box at hospital
>patient stops me
>"Is that my laughing gas?"
>"What?"
>takes off his hat, he has green hair
>"I'm the Joker!"
>takes out his phone and shows me a picture of him in his Joker suit
>blonde woman comes to take him away from me
>"This is Harley!"
>"No I'm not."
Dude, it was just like the Dark Knight.
>Playing Halo Infection
>See zombie
>Let him kill the guy in front of me
>Kill him and take the dead guys ammo
>>70472133
>slap my sisters ass as she walks by
>laugh as she looks at me in disgust
>snitches to mom
>slap her ass too
>>70477799
I hope they lock you up
I once sold a can of Coca Cola from a multipack.
>>70477979
>mfw slapping my fathers ass
>>70477979
How is this Joker?
>>70477979>slapping my own ass
>>70478261
>make sandwich for my husband and another one for me
>give him the one that looks less delicious
>>70472866
I want to murder you
>>70478777
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N
>>70478777
absolutely /devilish/
Not tipping the pizzaguy
>>70473110
Do you want to drive your mom to the mental hospital? That's too far
>>70478777
>putting out the dinner for me and my brother
>Give him less garlic bread than me
>mfw he says thanks
>>70472133
>Supposed to go to bed at 10pm
>don't go to bed till 10:01pm
>getting through a door
> dont keep door slowly for dude behind me
>>70472133
I went to school with my pajama.
>>70479103
wrong pic
One time me and my friend Alex went out in the woods looking for Bigfoot, but we never found him. Instead we found a dead body, that night the police took the body, in the morning all the news channels were reporting about it. You see we grew up in a small town, so this was big news, anyway to make a long story short, I found out that Alex killed the guy. Alex said he was harassing his sister, so he had to put a stop to it. Someone must of overheard us, because the next day Alex was arrested. When they gave him is one phone call, he called me, he said I betrayed him. I tried to tell him that it wasn't me, but he didn't believe me. So he promised me that when he got out he would kill me. I was terrified, and also hurt, I couldn't believe my best friend didn't trust me. So time passed, and every night I thought about him killing me. Almost 2 years past, I still had the thought of murder in the back of my head, then I got a phone call, from Alex's mom, she told me that Alex was dead, he was beaten to death. I didn't know what to do, so I got in my car and just drove, I drove for days. I drove all the way to the Grand Canyon, and looked in to the distance. Then among the rest of the tourists, I saw Alex. I was shocked, he slowly walked up to me, when he was just a few feet from me, he said "Don't tell Meg I was the one who sent her the dick pic." Then he walked away, and disappeared into the crowd. I was speechless, and confused..... because I was the one who sent Meg the dick pic.
>>70479241
Too far
>>70472133
i came back from the bar drunk and fell asleep in bed without taking off my clothes or shoes. the next morning i threw my bed sheets away because i probably got urine and aids all over them from using the bar restroom.
>tell my parent I'm pregnant
>say it's a joke
>it's not
>have autism
>proceed to accuse another poster of having autism
>>70479498
>post on 4chan that I would never take care of another mans baby
>mfw I would
My email is, [email protected]
I once stole my neighbours cat, kept it tied up in my dad's shed and tortured it for a few days with power tools before smashing it's head with a shovel.
You guys tho... you guys are fucking CRAZY.
>>70473220
You are one of the reasons there are school shooters.
>mom tells me to do my dishes
>don't
>instead leave dozens of dishes on my desk for her to find in the morning
>speed limit is 55
>im going 60
>cop pulls me over
>asks if i knew how fast i was going
>i say "no"
>i knew all along
>>70479103
>>70479271
>tell a fake story on a website
>post a pic
>tell them oops wrong pic
>i lied
>>70479693
Wtf
The joker wouldn't do this
>>70479693
>kenny glenn got another cat
I once poured milk before the cereal
In middle school I flicked a piece of paper at the back of a girl's head but the black troublemaker kid behind me got the blame somehow instead hahaha
In high school, I would ask my dad for lunch money, keep it then bring lunch from home heheheh
I always reply to my own posts to get them more attention yet no one ever calls me samefag Hehehahahaha
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA
I always forget to take my antidepressants most morning then I dont know why I'm so nervous all day
>playing with dog
>ask who's a good boy
>never tell him hes a good boy
>mommy keeps asking me if ive taken my pills
>tell her yes
>i actually havent been taking them at all
If she found out she would FREAK.
>go to mcdonalds
>order
>get food
>pay
>leave the food on the counter and leave
MOMS GONNA FREAK
>>70480148
hey dude im gonna eat ya ass
>eat almonds
>they're not activated
>>70480369
Top kek
>Mom says dinner will be ready in 10 minutes
>Sneak into the kitchen and eat a cookie
>>70472866
>someone says something
>say 'what' before the sounds can turn into words, then a sebtence, then a coherent idea in my brain
>realize my mistake only after the word leaves my mouth
>feel like a huge idiot
>>70480476
oh shit
>Eat all the chips from the chip bag
>Put the bag back anyways
>>70472866
>Someone talking to me
>"yeah mmhmm uhhuh good point"
>I wasnt actively listening
I need a therapist
>>70480369
ABSOLUTE FUCKING MADMAN.
REPORTED.
I once drank juice and washed my teeth right after on purpose.
>someone asks for the source of something
>i instead type out a long-winded post about spoonfeeding when i could've simply provided the source in that same amount of time
HAHAHHAHAHA
I once refused to flush down the toilet at work even though I had recently just taken a piss.
>remove USB devices without waiting to be told it's safe to do so
Sometimes it feels like I'm the only normal person and everyone else is insane.
one time I put a cigarette out on my wrist simply because I was drunk and remembered that dr gonzo used to do it too then I thought "will mom freak" and now i have like 5 little buttholes on my wrist from putting butts out on
then i think to myself i bet jared hasnt even let the tea get too hot in practice for this role. what a baby
I stole a dollar from my moms wallet
for a short moment my dark side was coming out
but later that day i had too much guilt and confessed my crimes and crying, she said it was ok but I insisted i would make a week worth of chores
>type 'gg'
>it wasn't gg
>it was bg
>>70472866
>always speak quite and mumbling
>they always misunderstand what im saying and agrees with what they think I was saying when I was saying something complete different
>Ask my mom for 7 dollars
>she gives me the 7 bucks
>I didn't really need 7 dollars
>its still in my wallet 6 weeks later
>in grocery store
>pay for the stuff
>''oops i forgot to take a plastic bag''
>grab it afterwards and pretend it's free
>girl rejects me
>mom forbade me to get the damaged tattoo
i almost really got it
>Be in grade school
>School had a milk cart were children could buy cartons of milk
>Cart was staffed by volunteer students
>Cart had a tin collection cup with a slit for 25 cent pieces
>Walk up the cart and quickly slam my hand down on the cup, appearing to put a quarter in
>mfw i got free milk every day
>>70472914
That's fucking disturbing. I live in Europe, and I had an foreign customer who left me a 50 cent coin and I wasn't sure if he was tipping me or what, which no one does in my country at least. It was shocking really.
>>70481830
what the fuck is going on in that picture
Jesus Christ
>be cashier
>someone hands me an onion
>ring it up as a vidalia when it's actually a yellow
>>70481952
Why did your mom give you 7 bucks instead of 7 dollars?
>>70482472
>be cashier
>item won't scan
>just make up a price on the spot
>grandma asks how my girlfriend's doing and when will i bring her with me
>''she's fine. she's really busy at work and all''
>i'm gay, and all i can think of is the blowjob my unemployed boyfriend gave me 30 minutes earlier
>>70482355
Nu-Spongebob.
>>70472133
yeah that tatoo just really fucks any chance Leto's Joker had at being cool
>>70482570
>watch anxiously when the customer checks the receipt immediately after
>>70477799
how the fuck did this punch work
Batman punched with his left hand
Joker's head has clearly been punched from Batman's right side
>>70482716
>give them a low estimated price and wink at them so they fuck off
>poop
>dont close door
>dont open window
>>70482813
>turns out to be a secret customer from corporate
>customer tells a racist joke about shooting black people as a hobby and some sexist shit about his wife
>i laugh like a total fucking dumbass
>cry internally
>>70483053
gay
>>70472133
>teacher tells me to do homework
>get home
>don't do homework, and sit on the couch instead
>work in a grocery store
>we've got summer workers
>fuck 15yo summer girl in a freezer and eat ice-cream with her afterwards.. on the house.
>when her mom picks her up, tell her how good and hard-working her daughter is
>update flash
>the 'install McAfee' box is checked
>uncheck it
>go into joker thread on a Japanese cartoon fantasy pedo meeting grounds
>post about something I've never done
>convey that I have
>>70483445
The dream
>Find friend's clock
>Set it 5 minutes ahead
>He will be forever 5 minutes late to everything
>>70483867
> I post from my phone
MADMAN
A
D
M
A
N
>>70483867
absolutely mental
>>70483963
Yes, a dream cum true, anon.
>phone starts ringing
>busy with something else
>wait until the second ring to pick it up
>>70484185
>phone rings
>don't answer
>send a message hours later and tell how i was ''at work''
>but never call back
>>70484299
too far, man. what the hecc
>>70484299
>work phones
>can you come in today
>"sorry I'm busy today"
>*goes back to bed*
>>70472133
>be in sixth grade
>race this kid across the parking lot
>beat him by a mile
>he tells me his girlfriend is faster than me
>I tell him that's because his girlfriend has four legs and I only have two
>everybody laughs
>>70472133
>cut class
>dad finds out
>try to kill me self
>split an ounce of weed with a friend of mine
>eyeball it instead of using a scale
>give him the bag that is slightly but clearly short a little bit
>tell him I gave him an extra gram
>ask my reluctant son to come meet his grandma
>tell him some bullshit how she's been really sick lately and the end might be near, and she needs her family around her now when she's still around
>works every time
>christmas time
>volunteering at a soup kitchen
>notice man I served near the beginning of the 4 hour shift
>got back in line to get seconds
>I give him seconds against the orders of my supervisor
>Go to a buffet restaurant
>Load up all of the pizza and brownies onto a couple of plates
>Deliberately don't eat it all, even though I could
>Throw the rest away
>>70484876
Seems like your supervisor is the joker here
>>70485004
ahhhahahahaaaa
>Walk through door
>Someone behind me
>Hold door until right before he walks through it
>Let go
The case got thrown out of court because I exploited a loophole
>change all file names to image.jpg
>posting from my PC
>>70479306
THEN WHO WAS ALEX?
>Cop pulls me over
>Asks if I have any substances in the car
>Tell him no
>He asks why it smells like marijuana in the car
>Uh, I have no idea I mean I just finished a cigarette...
>He asks me to step out of the vehicle and tells me he is going to search it
>I grab my wallet and ask him if there is something else we could do instead
>He asks me if I'm offering him a bribe
>Tell him that I'm actually a secret agent with the local FBI branch and I'm part of an undercover task force to find corrupt cops, and that I was just reaching for my badge
>He asks to see it
>Tell him I actually forgot my wallet at the bureau
>Get arrested for impersonating a figure of law enforcement, possession of 5 ounces of marijuana, lying to a police officer and for trying to evade law enforcement when I started to run
>>70480294
the whole 4chan cat faggotry was the beginning of the end.
>>70484516
DUDE
NOT COOL
LMAO
>>70472575
I kek'd
>>70472133
when i was 13
>Lead girl on
>Tell her I love her
>I really don't
>Murder her
Mommys going to freak out!
>checking out at the self checkout of kroger
>you have to manually enter the item number for each apple
>only enter it once, get five apples
i'm a monster
>having sex with a drunk girl
>asks me not to cum inside
>I cum inside anyways
>she has been calling me all day
>dont answer phone
>tell mom i need 5 dollars for nuggies
>i buy them with my 3 dollar coupon
>keep the extra 2 dollars
>>70487321
Are you me?
>>70487028
>Not going to HEB
>teacher leaves a message on my mom's answering machine
>i run home and delete the message
>>70472133
>working at McDonald's drive-through
>customer asks for one sugar, one cream
>look over and see the joker waving at me
>give the customer one suger, TWO cream
>>70484364
>phone rings
>answer
>"Anon?"
>"Sorry, wrong number."
>hang up
>It was the right number
>>70488644
>go to McDonald's drive-thru
>order is $11.91
>girl at first window asks for $11.19
>I know something is up but don't say anything
>assume she'll find her mistake
>she doesn't
>give her the money
>go to next window
>tell the lady at that window
>she gets the manager
>tell him
>he says it's okay
>I get $0.72 off at McDonald's
>One time I posted a greentext on 4chins
>it wasn't true
>Even director Christopher Nolan wasn't safe from Gillen's twisted vision.
>"One time I yelled 'cut' and Aiden turned to me and said 'what if someone just stood in the middle of an airstrip and yelled Bane? Maybe Smee and Maimen would forget their trained routine of making me a hired gun.' My jaw hit the floor and it never really came back up. That's when I thought, is he getting in character to play a big guy, or is a big guy something that's been in him all along?"
>"Sometimes I would go to look into the cameras, and I noticed Aiden had put something in the lens. It was stuff like 'What if the flight plan listed everyone? Would it still be happening?' and 'Lights. Camera. Aye.' I had to ask him to stop because I was feeling too scared to direct."
>>70490039
>and she got fired immediately after
Good job, anon.
>>70472133
I once killed a man.That's the last time I play Call of Duty, I still have flashbacks.
>go to McDonald's
>order food
>leave before they finish my order
HHEEEHE HAAAHAHAA HEHEHEEE
>Someone asks me for the time
>I give them it
Sometimes the craziest thing you can do is the right thing.
>In underground parking lot
>see no smoking sign
>light up a cig anyway and go into the elevator
>Lady sees me and tells me I cant smoke here
>Tell her, "What are you, the smoking police?" and walk out of the elevator
HAHA FUCK YOU LADY
>at a party
>girl passes out from drinking, none of her friends around
>leave her there and don't tell anyone
I once fed my Japanese Silkies some chicken.
They ate every bit of it.
Still actually kind of fucks with me sometimes.
>>70472133
>mom tells me to call gram gram and send her our best regards for the family
>call her without introducing myself and say "the lannisters send their regards" when she answers, I hang up without saying anything else
>>70472133
I once peed and didn't flush
>>70491219
I clogged the toilet at work and told no one. That was more out of embarrassment than anything, I took a messy shit and it required a lot of toilet paper to clean up my boipucci.
not me but my friend
>you only care about money anon, you don't care about me
>nigga burnt a 100$ bill
>lmaoo his chick left him instantly because it was her money
>>70491350
>cashier/owner asks if I have any smaller bills to pay
>lie and I got all his singles
>>70491440
>cashier gives me back my change
>don't tip him
>cashier asks me if I have some smaller bills
>I say "only one" and take this out of my pocket
>tell mom I don't need night light no more as I'm a grown up
>I really do need it now I'm afraid to go potty
>make a terrible bait post
>reply to my own post 5 times
>>70472914
Get the fuck back to /biz/
>>70491614
>bull orders me to prep him before he has sex with my wife
>make him cum
>>70480409
you're fucking disgusting.
>>70492833
>>70472133
>the time I took shrooms & drove my friend to a party with a frozen, shit eating grin while listening to death metal
>actual drumsticks in my hands the whole time
>manual transmission
>the absolute madman .jpg
>>70472575
ALL IT TAKES IS
ONE
BAD
DAY
>>70472866
You piece of fucking shit. You're just stalling. You're the reason. You're the fucking reason I don't repeat myself and after it sinks in for 2 seconds they realize they heard me all along and respond without me having to repeat myself.
>>70478885
2nd this
>>70491146
Kek
>>70492833
>>70494530
>tfw I have the patience of a cuckold and will reply everytime in the same tone until it's unsettling
>>70472133
>The husband of the bull of my wife's son order me to lick the cum out of his bbc
>I don't
>Walk into friend's house
>Pull open all of his cabinets and drawers
>Leave without closing them
>>70494952
I'll repeat even if they don't ask.
>>70491049
pics of birbs plz
>>70477979
>grab a handful of my guy friends' asses
>laugh it off as a joke when they go wtf
>I secretly enjoy it
>>70479164
>hold the door (kek) for people hundreds of feet behind me
>they start rushing towards the door
>>70482978
>tell them the customer is always right
>>70497846
>what a polite kek you are
>>70477028
>>70478885
>>70494530
>I do this on accident
I-I'm sorry.
>>70472133
When I was like 12, maybe?
