What did /tv/ think of The Witch?
>>70355406
Do any women get eaten in this movie? That's my fetish so I only watch horror movies where women get eaten and/or cooked
>>70355550
The mother gets her boob pecked by a crow, that's about it.
>>70355613
Weak
>>70355639
Not every film can be cannikino like Cannibal Holocaust anon.
Over rated. Decent atleast.
I wonder how many overweight hipster liberal chicks are getting into "wiccan witchcraft" because of this
The funniest thing is how they don't even know anything about pre-christian european faith but keep on stealing shit from it and twist it into invalid made-up contexts to suit their hipster agenda
>>70355406
Unsettling movie. No jumpscares, and I like that. Overall it was spooky.
>>70356379
>mspaint
>>70356246
>I wonder how many overweight hipster liberal chicks are getting into "wiccan witchcraft" because of this
I think people knew about witches before this $25M grossing movie.
>>70355406
Never knew a goat could be spooky but this movie did it for me.
Also the baby part was unsettling as fuck.
It's one of those movies where I should like it a lot but I just don't for whatever reason and I can't really find any glaring flaws either. Good acting t.bh.
i really liked the music
i liked it
spooky without being annoying
really good setting
good cast
good goat
good movie
>>70356246
>they don't even know anything about pre-christian european faith but keep on stealing shit from it and twist it into invalid made-up contexts
sounds like the basis of every single modern religion to me
>>70355613
that was a raven stupid
i would worship black philip honestly. pretty top tier goat.
I enjoyed it.
Really great movie, I look down on people who say they didn't like or get it
Great atmosphere
Great music
Greatending
I didn't hate it.
spooky and interesting with professional looking production and great score.
8/10 from me.
>>70355406
Best film of the year, everything else was shit.
Can see it being a 'go to' film throughout the rest of my life.
>>70355406
Best film of the year so far.
Or of 2015, I forget when it came out.
What was his fucking problem?
>>70356246
Worst post of 2016 because you're serious
>>70355406>witch/satan kills my entire family
>I guess I'll join them
It had the most successful viral marketing campaign in 4chan history, with the possible exception of 300.
>>70356246
The thought of a pimply white nationalist nerd writing this is very funny to me
>>70360677
Imagine being a King of Sky & Land, of Sea & Sand
Now imagine you are imprisoned by a puritanical fuck and your only servants are a pair of little dipshits.
>>70359343
this desu
>>70359767
how do you not get it? what the fuck is there to "get"?
>>70356246
Your fears are kinda cute.
How fat are you?
>>70355406
Incredible
Also I wouldst like to live deliciously if you know what I mean
>you will never sign Black Phillip's book
>you will never live deliciously
I'm not sure I can go on living lads
>>70360755
her mother was a crazy cunt. i don't blame her.
>>70355550
Maybe
>>70356575
>No jump scares
You have to be a shill. What about when Balck Phillip suddenly attacked the father? There was a music sting and everything was silent before that, you could feel the jump scare coming. It was a textbook jump scare.
And I feel like there was one or two more but I don't remember specifically. Overall this was a pretty unremarkable movie, and I couldnt take the old english acting seriously. Its budget shows often, the obviously digital visuals clashed HORRIBLY with the historical setting, and the unambiguity of the satanic occurings and witches existence really made for a mostly boring film to me.
Above average, nothing to sneeze at.
>>70360755
her family were fucking dicks against her. the parents blamed her for the witch taking the baby, the twins said she was a witch to her parents, her father lied so she would take the blame for stuff and her mom tried to kill her. lil lass got pushed to the dark side 2bh
>>70360755
If she didn't join they probably would've killed her
And if they didn't, she'd have to spend ages getting back to their old settlement (with no horse at this stage) in the freezing cold with limited supplies, not to mention the Witches and Satan running around the forest at the same time
It was logical in a "desperation" sort of sense to join them too
>>70361145
Getting attacked by a demon goat is no doubt very surprising. That was not a "jump scare".
>>70355406
possibly the GOAT movie of the year and one of the best horror movies in decades.
>>70361240
Kek
>>70361240
You really need to watch more movies. Or jump in front of a moving train. Whichever is quicker.
>>70360755
>be only survivor after phillip+friends holocausting yr whole family
>go back to the village
>get burned for being a witch
she didnt have much of a choice desu
A real GOAT movie, if you get my meaning...
Thomasine had a cute butt.
>>70362791
probably a body double
I think it wascute
>>70355406
loved it, great vibe throughout the whole movie.
>>70359343
this man gets it
>>70362791
>>70362962
Her body double had a cute butt.
This movie was shit
Why the fuck are you guys praising it?
>>70363511
i thought it was good
>>70363511
I would hardly call this thread "praising". I'd say it's more of an undercurrent of "decent film with some issues".
Now if you want to see a movie getting praise heaped on it, just wander into a capeshit thread.
>>70360755
The whole movie was a setup to make her join them, if she didn't the movie would be a fucking waste.
>Make everyone antagonize her (baby disappearing)
>Alienate her (necklace)
>Make it obvious everyone would be happy if she was gone (send her back to marry)
Seriously, by the end of the movie she was almost saying "pshhh... humanity is evil... kill them all".
>>70363511
The movie was fucking shit and people try to force Black Phillip posting.
>>70355406
It's pretty GOAT. I couldn't stop thinking about it the other night.
>>70363382
*frrrtt*
>>70355406
Best horror movie since The Others
Seriously I haven't been this excited by a director since Kubrick. The last time I got half way this excited by a director was Snyder, but of course he isn't fundamentally a smart guy - he just has the same primal, kino instinct as Verhoeven (but I digress...)
>The film works on a number of levels at once
>perfectionist staging
>has probably broken a massive star in Anya Tyler Joy
>brings a dramatic intelligence to genre cinema
That's what I think of The Witch.
>>70358892
>I think people knew about witches before this $25M grossing movie.
you fucking penis you missed the point just to tell everyone you only like David Bowies early stuff.
Noose, anon.
>>70356246
>The funniest thing is how they don't even know anything about pre-christian european faith but keep on stealing shit from it and twist it into invalid made-up contexts to suit their hipster agenda
My brother went out with a witch for a year or two back in the eighties. She was a cool chick though, went on to have a bit of success with novels.
But he couldn't take it seriously. One night she was doing some bullshit ritual with a friend and - just to fuck with them both - he walked in on them looking trancey, said "Mummy I'm scared" and pissed his jeans standing up.
She ditched him and his life went to utter fucking ruin until this day, so maybe they aint that dumb.
Still funny af.
>>70360980
People are idiots and need to be spoon-fed everything.
>>70365703
>>70364826
>>70365829
Shes so darn beautiful
>>70360980
its another one of those situations where people conflate "get" and "like."
>>70365922
don't read her Twitter / Instagram feed, you'll become obsessed. She's fucking perfect.
>>70365829
Would live deliciously with/10
>>70365829
>>70361145
You sound like you were just a butt hurt bitch when you watched it. Heard a bunch of hype and was in a bad mood when it happened and just shat on it the moment it started
