>Be you
>13
>Watching pic related
>Volume on 1
>One finger on "back"
How close am I /tv/
>>70115798
You pretty much nailed it
>not masturbating with both hands
white boi detected
>Hoping it's an episode with nudity or sex talk you can understand
>Just get a bunch of bondage freaks sitting in a circle talking about shit
Feels bad man.
>midnight
>be horny kid
>Creep downstairs to the computer
>Sign onto the internet
>Cover the modem speaker with a pillow
>Enter a heightened state of alertness to any sounds that might be parents coming down the stairs
>Delete history after fapping
>Sex in the boxxxxxx ooooooooooohhh"
>>70115798
>That episode with the real dolls
>>70115919
Those were the worst, I remember an episode with some 60 year old swingers and there were grandma tits, fucking gross
i saw my first porn on showtime in the summer of 10997 with my parents asleep, i went into their room and turned the tv on to watch it since i knew it was coming up and i was intrigued. i dont think they knew i watched it. i finally found it again too last year. it wasnt as good as i remembered it.
>15
>watching terminator with parents
>VHS tape starts getting grainy as the sex scene approaches
>>70115798
I didn't have premium channels like that. If someone else in the LA area knows, I used to watch some sleazy programming on I think My13? It was some of the hottest shit ever. Had my first orgasm to it. I don't remember much though. It wasn't infomercials. But it had a girls gone wild feel. If someone knows the name of the program please tell me
>>70115919
This is literally the only episode I remember, except it involved dildoes and men who like being dildoed by their women.
I turned 360 degrees and never looked back
>>70115987
>summer of 10997
sup time traveling cyborg
>Girls Gone Wild Commercials were fapping material
Take me back to when it was that easy to get off /tv/
>>70116041
Maybe that's the one I'm thinking of. I think I tried watching the show more, but TV was just too unreliable to provide consistent fap material.
I had internet porn in middle school
Probably not the best thing for me
>>70116239
This board is for 18 years or older.
>>70116314
The internet became widely available in the mid-90's. That guy's probably 35
>>70116239
Internet porn was pretty common place with kids by around 2003-2004, but just to humour you, let's say it's more like 2006 - he could've been in middle school in 2006 and still be 18 or older right now.
Im was more a Hookers on the Point kinda kid.
That school teacher hooker was the best. $20 a fuck $10 a blow.
>>70115987
You watched it in your parents room while they were sleeping?
>House creaks
>Pretend to be sleep for 20 minutes before watching it again.
>>70116451
>2006 was ten years ago
>kids born the same year the Xbox 360 came out are 10/11 years old now
>>70116402
You think we were streaming porn in the mid-90's?
Nigger we had to wait like 30 seconds to load a single fake Britney Spears nude.
>>70115798
I just watched porn online and my parents didnt give a shit lmao
>>70116527
MAH FUCKING NIGGA
I remember that shit
>>70116527
>Nigger we had to wait like 30 seconds to load a single fake Britney Spears nude.
those were the days, anon
those were the days
were my kazaa niggers at?
who here /ideepthroat/?
who here /wifeysworld/?
who here /skylopez/?
who here got tricked into downloadingr@ygold?
>>70116496
yes
>tfw still fap to Desirae Spencer NaughtyAtHome vids I used to watch on TheHun
>>70115922
>living like a member of fucking seal team 6
I don't know how many years of my life were shaved off from doing this
>>70116755
I wonder if edging has replaced slow download speeds as the cause of stress during surreptitious wank sessions for children of the new generation.
Kinsey could have asked but if I stop a 12 year old on the street and start quizzing him about his masturbation habits I'll be thrown in prison. Fucking puritanical modern culture.
>>70116586
implying I was tricked.
I knew exactly what I was doing.
How many of you remember Bliss and Red Shoe Diaries
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pgpMk_TYYXU
Based Showcase channel on Friday nights was amazing fap fuel.
I sacrificed 4 computers to limewire downloading naughtyamerica movies
>>70116527
>tfw you had to plan a day ahead to masturbate because you had to open up all the windows the day before so the jpegs were loaded the next day for fapping.
>>70115798
literally spot on
>>70116489
>mfw I fapped to the fat white hooker with the huge gap in her teeth
I didn't even give a fuck, I could cum to a light breeze back then.
>Volume 1
>Can't hear shit
>Volume 2
>SUDDENLY LOUD JAZZ MUSIC AND MOANING
>FUCK
>>70115936
mah nigga
who here didnt know how to turn off the modem speaker so you had to put a blanket over the whole thing so the house didnt wake up at 3 am while you were fapping to a "boobs" ask jeeves search
>>70115798
As a kid, I remember our family having a black box. Some of you older anons might know what I'm talking about: those little boxes that let you have every cable channel for free - including all the pay-per-view ones? Yeah, I remember every day, after school I had to walk a mile from the bus stop to my house. If I ran, I would have a good 25 minutes before my mom got home.
I looked forward to that gold half-hour every schoolday. Good times.
>>70116527
>to load a single fake Britney Spears nude.
lmao thats the first thing my parents had to talk to me about on the internet history
>finally get a tv in my own room
>stay up till 2am to watch those 30 minute Girls Gone Wild infomercials
That when I learned how to edge. Good times.
>>70116908
>things that did not happen
>>70116947
Same breh, shared formative experiences like this are why I don't sperg out about implications of a jewish media agenda.
What is the likelihood that binding arousal to that disgusting raspy nicotine tainted voice in our formative years led us to this place? its impossible to say.
My thirteen year old nephew got caught watching poorly labeled hentai on youtube on his phone and jerking off the other day. I've never been more proud of that little faggot.
>>70116985
only poor families and ne'er do wells where I live had the black box.
Were you crooks, anon?
>>70115798
Any Ausfags remember Erotic Tales on SBS? Once i got a TV in my room hohoho! It was on!
My stepdad had a Hustler collection large enough that he didnt notice I stole one. Fapped for years off that book
>>70116947
I always thought she was a man or atleast very manish. I like to watch Taxi Cab Confessions too. The world has some fucked up people living in it.
>>70116997
I'd try to study the correlation but I just found the video on youtube and I'm gonna crank one out to that pig again instead.
>>70117061
you remember shock video on HBO? That rarely had fap material but it was a sick show
>>70115798
I loved it but i mostly remember Pornucopia, im young
>>70117032
Not that guy but we had it as well
>Were you crooks, anon?
Actually, yes.
Lowlife trash from a family of small time criminals reporting
>>70117099
YES! crazy sex shit from all over the world. I remember theres was this one that had a woman that would wash, eat, and do many other thing with cum.
>that time I found that "game" online where you mouse over the woman and she raises her top
Good times. I wonder if thats still around
>>70117032
Not him but I was from a rich family and we had a huge satellite dish and one of those. I'd get live feeds of the weirdest porn people were launching out from their living rooms. I remember quite a bit of it being questionable, and I think I saw real legit backwoods incest fucking at least once that I remember.
>>70117032
Yeah, we were pretty damn poor. Mother had me at 15, we lived in a trailer. Dad worked on cars for a living and she kept hopping from part time job to part time job - so I'd say we were poor.
Things ended up much better though.
>>70117183
That's sick, I had no idea home-grown satellite porn existed. I wonder if it still exists as a subculture, or how people were avoiding the party van since they were basically broadcasting their presence.
>>70117077
nothing like a good nostalgia fap
>>70115798
Real Sex like, 6, was the whole beginning to my shemale fetish...
>>70117077
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWbp_9Bp00U
Enjoy boys
>>70117247
No clue, but you had to take the good with the bad. There was always regular porn to jerk off to, and I got to watch MST3K when it was originally airing in Minnesota and I lived in New York. Those things were really nice.
>>70117341
Start at 46 mins, thats when it gets good
Perversions of Science was meh porn with a sexy robot host. I got a 4head VCR for my birthday one year, use the news paper tv guide to figure out the time porn would air on HBO and Skinamax. Hear that click clack of the VCR start recording at 3 am, I knew tomorrow as gonna be good day.
Some of my first faps were to this:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0343963/
>We jerked off to this thing
How have we not all killed ourselves from shame?
Nice of the guy who uploaded it to film the video on a fucking potato too.
>>70117341
Thanks bro. This takes me back.
Anyone remember Cathouse? I used to furiously fap to that when my parents were asleep?
>>70117145
Made me think of this old gem
Anyone with me?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aj6hasX4yU
Back when trannys were rare freaks
Hookers on the street, HBO.
>Slurping sound
>Oh yeah
>damn girl
>Tell me when you gonna cum, okay?
>ok
>more slurping noises.
>it's an elderly gay men worship a 10ft bronze dick episode
>tfw used to watch real sex episodes at 1am on demand when I went to my grandparent's house
>tfw I admitted to my cousins that I did this
>>70117247
>>70117348
>Not wanting the incest porn
>>70117687
Disappointed. No penis.
Did anyone else watch the porn clips on 89.com
>>70115936
>lollipop plays as chick rides the doll hard
>Dad was filming some shitty movie on UKTV on VHS
>I didnt realise
>Im watching porn
>I realise hes filming shitty show on VHS
>I rewind the tape and turn it to a static channel and record static to cover over the porn
>Go back to his show and finish the tape
never heard anything about it
i was pretty clever for a 9 year old i tell ya what
i peaked at 9 though all downhill since then
>>70118547
GTFO faggot. We're talking HBO programs AOL random cp chat rooms, nigga
>>70116527
I'm almost 30 and downloaded porn videos on kazaa in middle school. I even downloaded CP and bestality off there.
>>70118581
lel
>>70115798
>sneak downstairs
>keep tv on mute
>furiously masterbate
>keep eyeing hallway/stairway making sure parents not quietly trying to see what you're doing
>eyes can't adjust from the bright tv screen fast enough when looking away
>never truly know if i masturbated infront of a parent while staring directly at them
Kids with their free internet and hand held internet devices don't know how good they have it.
This is what i watched
>>70118606
What the fuck, am I literally the only person who never accidentally downloaded CP off Limewire or Kazaa etc.?
I downloaded tons of shit and nuked at least two computers too, but never saw even one cp image or video.
>when you forgot to delete your history
>autocomplete betrayed you
>>70118631
TOP KEK
Anyone here used to watch Hotel Erotica on cable when they were younger?
I watched her more than Real Sex
>>70118547
Damn right I did mah nigga
>>70118631
It's called keeping the lights on, jackass.
>>70118681
Accidentally downloaded some shit called veronicas first time. Was def CP, im just now realizing. thank god that computers long gone
>>70118568
I really think early perversion fucked me up. I downloaded a 2000 era Spears fake and printed it, when I was 8.
>>70118691
>autocomplete betrayed you
>autocomplete
go to bed kid
I remember the first time I every jacked it had to be to that Raven flash game on Newgrounds where Slade raped her, top tier
>Not jerking it to TIP DRILL by Nelly
its like you niggas didnt even bust nuts watching BET uncut, also those girl gone wild vids would come on after just in case you didnt drop a load
>>70117341
She looks a lot like Chrissy from sopranos
had tv in my room after like 5th grade.
>ggw commercials
>channel 99 or 98 was some premium channel but i could see tits through the graininess if i watched long enough and at certain times
>could also hear chicks moaning sometimes
>howard stern on E!
>women's tennis (bra technology has really advanced in the past few years)
>got a cable modem in like '98 but only had family computer.
parents probably caught me somehow on family computer but didn't say shit. my dad was usin it for the same reason.
>Have long distance gf starting in junior high I met in a WinMX chat room
>We buy shitty webcams and start masturbating together after our parents go to sleep
>One night I'm baitin and she is too being extra quiet
>I see her dad walk up behind her
>We lock eyes
>He realizes what is happening
>Looks up at the ceiling and fucks off out of the room fast
>I don't tell her until after I cum
>mfw
It was super awkward a few years later when we started dating irl and I came to her house and met her dad for the "first time".
>1999
>older sister had first job working at the university
>said i can come any time and she will let me into computer room for internet
>having no idea how internet works i just typed into search bar (dont remember the search engine) sex or porn
>few hours later, the computer is JUSTed like you woudlnt believe it
>all the type of *wares you can imagine, free sex popups, toolbars everything
>few minutes later trying to unjust everything, the computer is unusable since there was a new sex window popping every second
>turn of the computer, thanks sis im going now
>summer that I was 11-12
>first time I was allowed to stay home alone
>spent all summer watching Sundance and IFC hoping to see tits and butts in french movies
>ended up getting cultured by accident
>>70118813
Thes fake nigger twitter memes are getting less funny by the minute
>>70118897
How did that shit turn out anon?
>>70116698
Fucking madman
>>70118813
I AINT GOT NO PANTIES
ON THE DANCE FLO
Britain here.
We got our big break with "Channel 5". Yes, there were only 4 national TV channels until the late 1990s. Prior to that the only way to see naked women on tv was to wait until 3am to watch some black and white french movie where there might be a brief glimpse of a boob.
Channel 5 showed cheap "erotic thrillers" every friday and saturday night. It was a godsend, glorious female american soft porn actresses like nothing we'd ever seen before.
>have kazaa in 2003
>accidentally left the default folder location
>downloaded tons of COHF scenes
>and that bukkake compilation with the song Bad Moon Rising
My parents (mostly mom) were pissed
>>70118952
He shook my hand, and then he had an underlying hatred and constant passive aggressive nature toward me for the next couple years everytime we met. He was a manlet that had heart problems though so I wasn't scared of him. I kind of get it now that I'm older that the guy who is porking your daughter probably isn't going to be your best bro.
>>70119023
You still dating her?
>>70117397
That show actually had a few decent episodes
>>70119044
Nahshe dumped me.
>>70115798
That was pretty much me but with Oz and Queer as Folk.
Anyone remember this show called Strangers that was on HBO for a bit? Was a sex drama about people in France? I swear the presidents wife in Independence Day was involved in a lesbian episode. I swear almost all traces of it aside from some press releases online have been wiped from existence.
>>70118989
This
Man this thread makes me blessed that i had the internet in my teenage years
>>70117687
Eddie Murphy probably is the happiest man with all the new tranny technology advancements
>>70119139
>Not having a cool coming of age story/memory
Sucker
>>70119139
shut up underage, you dont know the struggle
>>70119111
I've noticed a bunch of old porn is no longer documented anywhere online. I remember scenes from Spice Channel of girls that I know were popular and had hardcore scenes, can't even find any cast lists or matching video titles.
>>70118714
Katy Morgan!!!!!!, OHHHHHH made me cum harder then a motherfucker.
>>70118714
caught my dad watching her HBO show. Glad the old man could still get it up. God bless you, Katey
>>70116007
though, your father watched it all the time ?
>Bro and I are on a road trip
>He just caught his kid jackin it and his wife made him punish him for it because she's a stupid bitch
>We spend two hours talking about how easy these faggots have it nowadays with the most hardcore shit right on their phones they can watch anywhere and how the best moment in our adolescent lives was finding a torn page of a Playboy in the park that we passed around like it was a fucking peace pipe
I think by the end of the conversation he didn't feel as bad about having to punish the kid.
>>70119139
faggot redditor
>>70119250
>letting your wife decide that you punish your son for having a sexuality
your friend is a fucking faggot you know
>DONT YOU DARE BE ATTRACTED TO WOMEN
thats how you built a faggot retard who cant get laid or function in society
>>70119165
>being this mad that i was born in a time with superior technology and was old enough to fully utilize and appreciate it while you were born in the dark ages
>>70119250
He still beat his kids ass?? You would think, at least hes not gay as fuck. Mothers dont know shit. Yell at the kid, fine, you're the parent not his friend, but never beat the tits and pussy out of the kid.
>>70119295
Oh I know, and I tell him all the time. He had a fucked up childhood and won't leave her because of the kid even though she's a soul destroying harpy to them both. He's an idiot.
>>70115798
why didnt you just use ur phone
>>70119396
Because phones werent good enough to watch porn on until about 2010
>>70119327
I think he screamed at him pretty bad and grounded him from all types of technology for a month or something. I tried telling him that making sex and masturbating seem like a bad thing was going to fuck the kid up but he wasn't hearing it because of her. He'll probably end up one of those guys who likes it when women who look like his mom put cigarettes out on their balls.
>>70119336
Man I hate when this happens. Good guys are turned into betas to deal with shitty spouses for the sake of raising their kid. A lot of self entitled women are so goddamn childish and if they don't get their way in all facets of life they just threaten to destroy everything.
>>70119396
I tried but the rotary dial was too small to fit my dick in.
>>70119396
Because this was the phone I had
>>70119396
Real Sex was all about smelly jizzy parts and being very very hairy. Theres been a hairy blocker installed in all phone since 2010. I still think literally anyone younger then me is a faggot.
>>70119396
It cost 99¢ a minute I wasn't Richie Ritch
>>70119414
>Tfw his kid will be either a faggot or a sadist because of his mommy issues
>>70119439
I would kill for a flip phone again. Smaller phone in pocket means more penis in pants. Those were the days.
>>70119414
>making sex and masturbating seem like a bad thing was going to fuck the kid up
I guarantee it does. Repressing sexual urges at a young age is a good way to create a future degenerate.
>>70116988
If I was your dad, I'll high five you and give a sigh of relief. I thought you were gay.
>>70119498
>implying that faggot isnt disappointed he doesnt have a gay son
when you punish a man for being straight youre actively creating a homo or asexual
>>70117032
I was a known highway man and it paid handsomely. I had my pick of the plunder and wenches, sometimes tossing them about with my mates. Those were good, simple times. You weren't a man back then unless you shoved your pick balls deep into some teengirl's bald little cunny.
>>70119476
Its not hard to switch back anon. I went back to a flip phone for a while. It cost like 10 bucks a month
>>70115798
I was 10 and I blew my first load to real sex. I had no idea what the fuck happened but my dick felt funny and was wet and sure enough I had blown the biggest load of my life without touching myself. I seriously thought I was bleeding because of how much cum came out.
>>70119414
In the lated 90s when 1 imaged took 300 seconds to download a nude Jenny Mcarthy picture. I printed out one of Jenny's picture and placed it on my open underwear shelf, because I was proud of the porn I found! My dad came into my room unexpectedly, laughed then told my mom there was a naked lady in there. I looked around as said OH SHIT and hid the picture real god damn fast. I guess my dad lol'd and told my mom about the jenny pic, she rushed in all pissed off and was ready to yell at me. There was no nude woman to be found. Women are shit when their pissed. I told "whats wrong?" "go have some coffee." And that was the end of that. Keep your dick large a in charge always.
>>70115798
Nah, nigga, I fapped to this shit right here.
>that feel when you remember the first time you came
>that pressure in your dick
>the feeling of cum shooting out of your balls for the first time
>that complete obsession over when you would get to fap again
i watched the hills have thighs on showtime if anyone remembers that
>>70119654
I didn't ejaculate the first few times I jerked off and came. They were like ghost nuts.
>>70119654
I was a pillow humper at first, Ive been chasing that nut ever since.
tfw Dave Chappelle taught me how to jack off with the "wrap it up box" skit where he has to jerk off because his wife wont fuck him
>>70119654
I remember finding out about jerking off right when hand sanitizer first hit the scene. Ran out of gel soap and needed something gel like to cum with. Used that hand sani shit and burnt the fuck out my dick hole. Still came tho.
>>70119654
>tfw you masturbated since you were five and only remember wondering why you weren't cumming like they do in porn and would orgasm and then keep jerking it and pushing cause you thought thats what you had to do
i don't remember the first time.
>>70118921
thanks anon, haven't laughed this loud for a time.
Did you ever hear that your sister got problems because of that ?
>>70119699
>mfw I used some bargain bin lemon soap I found in my basement to jerk off and my dick shed it's skin like a snake three days later
>>70119654
>first time you came
>cum shooting out of your balls
There is no cum. when you are bellow 13.
>>70119744
Dick health is some hard time involved shit to learn. You are me and I am you. Scrub your scaly dry balls with the same wash cloth you mom uses.
>>70119744
tfw used nair to remove pubes because I thought it was what you were supposed to do and left chemical burns on my balls and shaft
>>70115885
>not masturbating with both hands, even if white/asian
you're supposed to keep the junk between your hands, so it would be closer to vagina penetration.
>>70116586
>who here got tricked into downloading r@ygold?
youre on a list now for saying that name
>>70119808
Oh holy shit I did the same thing and had to walk like I just got done riding a horse for a week.
>>70119817
I dont understand anything you just said. Use one hand, grip your dick real tight, if you want a different feel flip the hand around so youre churning butter not jerking your meat. I use water based lube nowadays.
>>70119860
use "prayer" hands to masturbate
>>70119687
>tfw my first gf and i would hump our pillows while we would have phone sex
well i would and she said she was doing it but she probably wasn't
>>70119888
How the fuck do you touch door knobs and sink knobs to clean up without getting jizz everywhere?
>>70119860
>>70119817
>>70119888
I just crouch down in the shower and push my dick between my ankles and fuck my feet like a frog.
>>70119921
FUCK. you must be in great shape for that kind of shit to not leave you soar as all hell the next morning.
What the hell is up with moms getting pissed when they find you looking at porn or fapping?
>Mfw I first got nudes from a girl I went to school with
Thats the holy grail at that age to this day
>>70119968
They own your dick and all your cum is belonging to them.
Anyone else "milk" themselves when fapping?
>ass in the air
>dick pulled back
>tug on cock like a cows udder
>it's a limewire porn but actually a decapitation video
>>70119968
Women are evil and hate it when men find pleasure in anything. - My dad.
>>70119994
Nah thats how you become a queer
>>70119999
checked and mother fucking signed.
>>70119968
not mommy's innocent little impressionable retarded babby fucc boi staus symbol anymore. basically signalling the beginning of manhood and the future of getting seduced/brainwashed/influenced by other women
>>70119913
uh, have a paper towel ready? Have a bath? Use your imagination, old son
>>70119998
>I still cum
>>70119999
goddamn quad, women truly are shit creatures
Before the Internet, I found a couple of VHS cassettes with this at the beginning and a comedy show called BIZARRE that my parents used to love. It took years before I understood how fucking hot this is.
After we got Internet, there were AOL chat rooms and this chick named Jackie, who was a realtor from Dalla. She'd send semi-nudes and was the first person to give me phone sex. She'd call twice a week. I was a fap machine in these days.
Anyway, here's this:
http://youtu.be/0GaNBsraHoU
>>70120025
Lol! Having a bath at 3am to casually jerk off. Nope!, wash your hands, soap up your crouch, wash up right. You and I jerk off differently and have different ideas of how to get rid of the cum. Im way cleaner then you.
>>70119968
Girls are jealous when they don't get attention. They're annoyed when they get all the attention. There is no balance.
>>70117341
Holy fuck that's Donald Byrd's Cristo Redentor playing in the very beginning.
>>70120019
This. It's sad, when you think about it.
>>70120083
>Not just letting the cum dry on your thighs until you get a rash and having your mom powder your balls and cock so you have a new memory to fap to
Amateurs.
>>70120109
>never cumming so hard on your mom's face it shoots thru her skull killing her instantly; its considered an accident and you now own a big house and have lots of money in your bank account.
Im 100% sure that these commercials were just bait for kids to steal their parents cards
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_MUhI-0jUY
>>70120152
You'd be surprised about the number/ percentage of horribly board married dudes with money to throw away ready to cum are/is that dont have the internet or the knowlege to cum is.
Anyone remember that strip poker game on Newhrounds where if you won the "girl" took off her panties and had a cock?
>>70120233
Remember the x-ray game where you lost if you looked at cocks and balls?
>>70118989
Best era.
Tarrant on TV always had some boob, Eurotrash's titillation got you warmed up, and then BASED Channel 5 hit you up with erotica, generously followed by Lexx in case you hadn't finished yet
>>70120233
one of my first ever tranny experiences. I always thought that was a joke, like they photoshopped penis to trick you and it'd be humerous. boy was I wrong.
>be in school
>tell kid to go to whitehouse.com
>>70120152
I still think my cock has a Pavlovian response to steel drums thanks to E! Gone Wild and the subsequent GGW commercials. Bonus points if you stayed up really late and got the 20minute block of GGW infomercial type thing.
>>70120286
blacksnake.com lel
>>70118681
I've seen CP twice on /b/ and another from the /sp/ spammer
>>70120286
>tell the kid that the only unblocked computers are the teacher's
>whitehouse.com pop ups all over the place.
>fall asleep watching tv
>dad walks in and wakes you up
>whatever you were watching went off hours ago and now real sex is on
>he gets mad at you for watching pornography
>>70119998
>browse limewire
>XXX_Busty_Babe_Creampie.exe 5MB
>>70120290
I always stayed up amd it would air at like 12:20 or something. Weekends had the longer block. That shit was awesome after watching WWF Smackdown, then local news or whatever sitcom reruns, then that.
>>70120328
/sp/ had a fucking cp janitor if im not mistaken
>>70116119
>lie awake watching shitty late night shows with your dick out so you can finally cum when the ggw commercial comes on
What a strange time to be a kid.
>remember all those dawns place videos from limewire
>look her up now
>she looks like a young grandma
age is a cruel mistress
>>70120398
man I used to think I was so weird for doing this. glad to know it was a common thing
>>70118681
>accidentally
LOL I JUST CLICKED ON STUFF AT RANDOM XD
>>70117046
>and then they shut off the Analogue signals
it was a tough time.
until i got a laptop
>>70120398
that was me. on a tv with dials i had next to my bed.
>miss the first airing
>praying for next commercial break
>have to watch guest performer comedian with dick out and ready
>>70117341
>that thick neeeewwww jerrssaay accent
>ayyy conyo
>shiiiiit papi
>>70117341
>22:30
Holy fuck her husband is a cuck
>>70120629
Start at 21:00 hes playing tetris while his hooker wife gets fucked lmfao
>>70120656
wow
im not even gonna wank to this doco.
it actually seems funny as fuck.
>>70119601
>>70119250
Wait a minute why in the fuck do mums care about this shit so much, does anyone have an explanation for this?
>>70116890
>bliss
>kink
Fucking loved showcase back in the day
>>70120694
women hate other women exploiting men
>>70120694
Prudes who dont want to think about their kids doing that shit
>>70120694
Sex is the only way girls can control men.
>>70117341
Crack, not even once.
>got caught fapping on the computer once
>tfw mom didn't care about me watching porn or fapping
>tfw she agreed to buy me porn videos and magazines if I agreed to not look at porn on the computer (she was paranoid about it getting e-AIDS from seedy websites)
>>70119250
>punish him
Hopefully just some Father-son bonding time doing a chore in the garage/garden, complete with a casual talk on jacking it more covertly, proper web-browsing, and track covering, otherwise he's no bro-dad.
>>70120986
I would like to imagine the trip your mom makes to the store to get nudy mags
>>70121041
She bought subscriptions to Playboy and Hustler. Every month she gave me a new video.
>>70119654
i thought my dick was bleeding
>>70119435
Underrated
>>70118681
Dude when I was in high school I went over to my sister's apartment that she shared with her boyfriend. He was showing me something on his computer and then pulled up WinMX and showed me all the stuff he was downloading. I very distinctly remember some of the files being obvious CP names.
What the fuck. Was I supposed to tell him I thought it was cool?
>>70117427
>>70117427
>>70117427
I jerked off to Courtney Love plenty of times when I was younger. So much shame.
>>70117539
yea dude, I did the same. There was one blonde girl in particular, I think she was like a captain or some shit? Like I think I remember her always dressing up in some sort of themed costume...very large, fake tits. Little older, too.
>>70116527
This
Fucking this
>>70116586
Sky Lopez. My fucking nigga
>>70115798
Can someone please tell me what this show was?
>>70115798
>flicking through shitty porn channels
>didn't realize the TV in my parents room connected to the same box
>"Anon, the TV was acting very strangely last night".
G-good times.
>>70117046
That name rings a bell, what would happen during this show?
In 4th grade I literally googled "porn" after getting a chub from Men In Black 2
I also blame the older neighborhood kids for teaching things too early
>>70118547
I did indeed
>find a porn movie in the TV as a kid
>really young, but still horny
>as I masturbate, I began to wonder why the woman in the movie is crying while having sex
>years later realize she was getting raped
>>70115798
Spot on.
I was with one of my friends in Junior High and he put it on a porn channel. He asked if we should jork off on it. I was like No.
10 years later at high school reunion, turns out all of my friends were jerking in together in high school without me and I lost the initiation.
What you have done the same?
>>70125209
>jork off
THE ABSOLUTE MADMEN.
Who /free6/ here?
Who /Nina Mercedes/ here?
Who /Sydney Steele/ here?
>>70116586
>who here /wifeysworld/?
B)
>>70125209
>missing out on gay masturbation sessions
>being straight
Yeah, I think you made the right call between the two
>>70119476
>Smaller phone in pocket means more penis in pants.Who's penis:^)
>>70121100
wwwwwuuuuuuttttttttt
>>70115798
I saw the guy getting his ass tapped with a dildo and knew I was gay
>>70117546
YES! I remember Mr. Chapman telling me off for playing it on the school computers, he said that although the women were likely paid pretty well, he personally found it objectifying.
Pretty reasonable considering I was an underage teenager playing a beer advertising game where the aim is to get a chick's kit off.
>>70119968
They're worried you'll find all the nude selfies their ex-boyfriends posted on 4chan.
>>70115798
>be me
>watching Sex in the City
>jerking off waiting for something to happen
>nothing happened
>>70119654
I was scared when it happened.
>>70120081
Those are some good tunes.
>>70115922
>do all of that except delete history
>mom sees it all and beats my ass
>find vhs tape buried in the sand next to the creek behind my house
>soak it in a bucket of water for a few days
>eventually loosen and shake out all the sand and grit
>tape is nothing but static but after letting it run a few times it clears up
>glorious porn
>use it in vcr in parents room since it was right next to mine
>leave it in there because they never used vcr
>mom suddenly decides she needs to use the vcr one day
>finds tape
>early days of Comcast digital cable
>find out you can order porn
>order a movie when parents are in the backyard
>watch 1 minute of shitty cowgirl filmed from behind, don't even get to see tirs
>parents come back in house
>shut movie off
>mom finds movie on the bill anyway
I was a fucking idiot with my porn when I was a kid. Only luck I ever had was with the scrambled channels and hiding the standard 'porn in the woods' that I always found.
I bust my first nut to a picture of Lita from the WWE topless. Actually I started off jacking off to the divas that had nudes or topless pics.
I was always a brilliant motherfucker too, never been caught white-handed. One time when I was 13 I even catfished a 20-something and had her send me nudes. Good times.
>>70126559
>be 14/15
>see sister's box-set of sex&the city
>see the 18 label on it (uk fag)
>back then, I figured that everything rated 18 had nudity in it somewhere
>fast forward through the entire first series looking for any nudity
>never comes
And that's why I hate Sex and the City
>>70115798
>show/movie is about to come on, unsure of what it is going to be
>rating screen appears
>Its the holy trinity
>L
>N
>SSC
I just printed out pictures and stashed then in my closet. Celebs, models and pornstars.
>>70127132
Fucking Christ. Swear I developed S&M and foot fetishes just so I could jerk it to that one Charlotte/ Carrie episode with both
>>70116888
>>70128068
Which episode was that?
>>70129047
La Douleur Exquise, episode 12 season 2Do NOT get your hopes up. Slim pickings even back then
