>this man walks into your restaurant
Wat do?
i tell him to get the fuck out because he ignored the "No Jews" sign on the front
>>69321407
>Our people are very misunderstood, we don't actually hate Americans, we welcome them!
>>69321428
>yeah I'd like my restaurant to be subjected to media scrutiny and ultimately go backrupt, that'll teach them!
Serve him leftovers and say its freshly prepared Armadillo rectum, my family's closely guarded secret recipe and a specialty he could find nowhere else, and watch him rave about it.
>>69321407
He gets the same service as any other patron unless he has the camera crew with him
>He likes my food
>Start clapping
Me? I'd serve crab legs.
Enjoy listening to him narrate his culinary experience as he dines with some local writer or celebrity because even though he's kind of a smug bastard I really like his shows.
>>69321407
used to watch his show, but he strikes me as an insufferable asshole
>>69321693
he is and would never say otherwise. But at the sam etime he isn't a bad dude
Shit right on his plate and tell him that that's what he gets for being such a smug son of a bitch. Then light him on fire.
>>69321469
It's not real retard.
Tell him to watch his fucking edgy little mouth, he curses all the time for absolutely no reason
Give him free booze and listen to him tell stories.
>>69321799
that last part made me laugh loudly, cheers anon
Break out the rectums, intestines, and scrap parts, grind it all up, and pour it into a sausage casing. Poor blood all over it. Tell him this recipe has been passed down in my family for generations.
>>69321693
He's just kind of two-faced, he'll shit talk a certain way of life in some episode, then be drinking,eating, and enjoying their company in another.
>>69321693
he's hip
he's cool
he's 60
Point a gun at him and threaten his life
>>69321407
Hand him a knife and go out back to get a live chicken for him to slaughter
>>69321407
Feed him boiled tripe and a lite beer and he'll fellate me for being "real".
>>69321919
It's called having respect for your hosts. He's always shitting on something. It's funny to hear him wax some hate he's really entertaining to listen to when he's talking shit.
Tell him the food is pretty bad here and refer him to a nice place. If he doesn't leave, serve him a beer and a bowl of Chicken Tika Masala, Pakorah, Naan and rice.
>not indian, just tired of eating at dirty indian food places.
>>69321929
I too, am a fan of the Kids in the Hall.
>>69321544
underrated
>>69321407
Break out some heroin and watch him squirm like the fucking junky his is and always will be
> tfw you will never have Anthony Bourdain's luxuriously comfy lifestyle
JDIMSA
>>69321407
restaurant owner here.
tell him I don't want to be on the show but he's welcome to come in. Serve him like anybody else.
I've done it before and I'll do it again. Been in business and in the black for 20 years now.
ask him how it feels to become the exact type of lazy bourgeois dickbag that he used to make fun of
>>69321407
suck the shit out of his dick
>>69321407
I would probably freak the fuck out and call my Uncle or something to come to the restaurant with his friends and make a loud ruckus like he's a flamboyant local and act like the place is all multicultural and has the best local shit and blah blah blah
>this man walks into your restaurant
What do?
>>69323779
>>69324817
>>69324952
suck his dick harder than Bordain's.
>>69324952
>>69321593
Same here. If I was actually worried about his opinion I'd make sure to liquor him up.
>>69324952
Serve him the highest calorie menu item with poison.
>DUDE I USED TO DO COCAINE LMAO
>DUDE I'M A HARDENED CYNIC BUT I STILL SEE THE BEAUTY IN THE MINUTIAE OF LIFE LMAO
>DUDE I WISH I WAS STILL IN MY 20's LMAO
>DUDE I'M THE MARC MARON OF THE FOOD WORLD LMAO
>>69325138
Fuck you, I almost had a heart attack thanks to that gif
I'd tell him that Iggy Pop cancelled his reservation, and the only thing left on the menu is Albanian sheep face.
>>69321407
tell that miserable fuck to get out. I don't need his smug, self-promoting bullshit.
>>69321407
Tell him it isn't a massage parlour and to fuck off. Right along with his gay fucking thumb ring.
