How do you deal with the cinema butter dispensers running out of butter?
I usually opt for another topping like ketchup.
>butter
good one.
I ususally bring a several Hersey's bars in my fanny pack and drizzle them onto my popcorn by melting them with a lighter
>>69273850
>paper bag
When does that ever happen?
I work at a movie theater and we have never "run out of butter"
>>69274106
Well usually people sneak up to the dispensers during the intermissions, I wish the tower guards would pay more attention.
>going to the cinema
I'll usually just scoop out some crab leg meat onto it if the butter runs out
I usually go straight to the cinema showers after eating my popcorn and getting butter all over myself. I always miss the movie. I never learn.
>>69273850
>ketchup on everything
you're worse than ranchfags. how the fuck do people like you not get arrested for public indecency? if i saw anyone drizzling ketchup on popcorn I'd kick them hard between their legs.
>butter dispenser
They have them behind the counters now ;____;
I can't add my own butter.
>>69274685
Calm down man, the ketchup is only used as a popcorn topping if the butter runs out.
How much do you guys tip the ticket ripper? I usually hook him up with a fiver.
>>69274749
you'll never be part of it cunt
I've usually got enough butter left over from my crab legs that it's not an issue.
>>69274749
>tipping the ticket ripper
Jesus Christ. Do you also hand out money to people who hold the door open for you?
>>69273960
huh that makes sense ive seen people do that before but i just thought they were smoking crank
>>69274749
>fiver
top kek. standard is three for the ticket ripper and three for the foot washer
>go to movies by myself because I can
>ask ticket bitch for my ticket "ticket for one for Keanu!"
>ticket bitch says "for ONE?" what's it like going to the movies alone?"
>I say "Yes, for one. what's it like earning 9 dollars an hour?" laugh in ticket bitch's face and walk away
>walk up to stub ripper...say "IS THIS YOUR WHOLE JOB? YOUR PARENTS MUST BE SO PROUD LOL" rip my own stub because I'm not an idiot
>enter eatery, walk up to servant "what will you have?" she asks, "it's okay! I brought my own!" I say while showing her the contents of my backpack with cola and homemade popcorn inside
>turn to those behind me and say "ENJOY PAYING THREE BUCKS FOR COLA, MORONS"
>make my way to cinema doors...notice lots of couples
>"WHAT IS THIS? MAKE OUT HOUR? THIS IS A MOVIE MORONS, NOT A LOVE IN"
>laugh at them as they leave in embarrassment
>cinema all to myself, put my feet up and throw popcorn at my face because that's how i eat it
>>69274749
I usually tip a fiver too. Once, I didn't have any change so I gave him 3 crab legs. He stared me down and tripped me as I walked past.
>>69275123
I'll never give pajeet any money. My falcon always prevents me.
Americans are fucking disgusting.
>>69273850
depends if the theater has a slushy machine
>cinema butter dispensers
>>69275237
every theater I've been to has given a free field mouse with purchase of a medium or large fountain drink, so my bird is usually pretty occupied with that. I don't know if that's in every country though
>>69275213
Lol I thought I was the only one that did this
>consuming the diacetyl jew
not going to get me popcorn lung
>>69275380
Do they let you take your bird into the cinema showers? Faggots at my cinema started a policy where you have to check your bird in at the bird day care center. They charge like thirty dollars too not including tip.
>>69274702
That's Un-American
I keep butter in my backpack just in case. Also a block of cheddar if the Cheeseburger doesn't have enough.
>not using the butter for your lobster tail and crab legs
What do you guys usually say when you introduce yourself to the audience before the movie starts?
>>69275495
Not technically, but whenever they try to stop me I just tell them it's not my bird and they get kind of confused, say something like "just don't let one of the actors catch up" and let me take it in anyway.
>>69275719
>DELLOW FELEGATES
>>69275719
good afternoon, ladies and geeeeerms
always gets a good laugh
>>69275213
so much autism in one post
>go to see civil war
>accidentally forget my reddit gold card at home
>forced to sit in the front row
>wake up this morning with huge cramp in my neck
won't make that mistake again
>>69275719
BOYS MMMM
>>69275810
haha that is really clever and witty, do you mind if I use this?
>>69275719
I tell them that their plebeian brains aren't going to be able to enjoy the movie like I am but thats ok
>>69274160
>tower guards
Whatcha gonna post about next anon? The public showers that everyone has to use before watching the flick? Or maybe you'll bring up the no singles policy. That'll really rattle some bones.
>>69275719
>I'm CIA
>pause
>The seat plan I just filed with the theater lists me, my men, the projectionist and ONLY ONE OF YOU!
Applause every time, seriously try it
>>69273850
/fit/
>>69275719
i tell them that my gf will soon be coming in and by no means am i violating the no singles policy
>>69275916
Use it, it's all yours my friend :)
>want to see Civil War
>my nanny can't make it
>nervous to go alone
>purchase 3 tickets
>sit in the middle
worth it
Don't you guys hate it when people stray from their assigned seats?
>>69276131
I always ask the people next to me if I can see their tickets just to make sure. Otherwise it ruins the experience knowing I'm sitting next to a criminal.
>go to the snack shack
>they're out of junior mints
the fuck candy am I gonna mix with my popcorn now?
>>69276131
>go to assigned seat
>some douchebag has his popcorn sitting in it
>hey man that's my seat
>no it's my popcorns seat
>shows me his popcorns ticket
>it checks out
>look at my ticket
>it's actually from a raffle
>end up sitting on the floor
>didn't even win the raffle
next time I'm going to the MET in person
Anyone else love to lay down on the stairs?
the seat hurts my back too much
Do you eat your popcorn with a spoon or do you just sit in the theatre with your hands covered in butter for the entire movie?
>>69276432
I just use my tongue and let the popcorn stick to it
>>69275783
I'M CRYING WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THAT SO FUCKIGN FUNNY. THIS ABSURDIST HUMOR HAS GONE ON TOO FAR
>>69276432
>not eating your popcorn through a straw
>>69275783
with yesterday's Plinkett quotes thread this got me
>>69276432
I typically use disposable finger gloves and then throw them on the floor when I'm done
>>69273850
Former concessions employee here.
What you really want is some supercorn.
Here's how you make it:
You get your popcorn and ask the concessions stand employee to sprinkle a little seasoning salt on it. This is the stuff they put in with the popcorn while it cooks in the kettle to make it delicious. If they are not fuckwads they will sprinkle some on. Now, this stuff is potent so you don't want too much.
Next step, pour a few sugar packets on. Usually you can get these at the condiments stand or if the concessions counter sells coffee or tea.
Now you put on "butter", but not too much. You want just enough to counter the salt and sugar but don't make your popcorn a sopping mess.
Congratulations. You now have supercorn. Enjoy your movie.
>>69276699
sounds pretty badass. Gonna try this when I see Keanu tomorrow with my wife's daughter
>>69275213
>Visit my American cousin in Seattle
>they want to go to some American Clapping History Museum
>bail and go to the movies to watch Captain Clappistan
>get stares from everyone as I walk into the theater alone
>Movie starts
>black guy can't stop talking
>'We wuz kingz n' shit"
>starting to get annoyed
>turn around to tell him to pipe down
>"fuck you cracka-ass!"
>He laughs and fondles his big-titted GF
>niggerdness intensifies
>clap twice
>the entire audience freezes and so does the movie
>the lights turn on
>take the black guys popcorn and shit in it
>tittyfuck his GF with the butter I used on my popcorn
>cum in her mouth
>sit back down and clap twice again
>the movie resumes
>'AY YO! THIS CHOCOLATE POPCORN IS BANGING'
>enjoy the rest of the movie
America is great if you know this little trick.
>>69276772
>my wife's daughter
Enjoy your delicious popcuck!
Oops I mean popcorn.
>it's an anon's falcon attacked the screen after being spooked by a CGI snake episode
>>69276910
>>69276792
hahaha what the fuck man
>>69276946
back at it again tonight I see
>>69276432
depends on the neighborhood, I recently saw some japanese kino and the audience was using chopsticks to eat their popcorn
>go to movie theater
>look at concession stand
>Buttered Popcorn - $6
>Right under that it says "Ask for real butter"
>>69274160
>tower guards
can't you just use the catapults to throw the dispenser?
>>69273850
>eating
I live off of rotgut vodka and nothing else. Enjoy life faggots.
>>69277088
They are Japanese it's allowed.
>>69273850
I bring a bottle of superglue and spread some of it on the bottom of my chewed up gum. I glue the gum to the seat after I leave. I like to think of the struggle and hatred that the cleaner must have while trying to get it out.
>>69275213
>MORON
charlie murphy would give you the beat down of your fucking life
>>69273850
>butter on popcorn
can someone explain this joke to me?
