ITT: Negative reviews of critically acclaimed movies
>>68886272
>glib facsimile
Armong White sounds like the biggest try hard ever. hahaha, is liking him a meme?
Is Armond White the most pretentious faggot?
>>68886318
The try hards on /tv/ (redditors in other words) look up to him unironically.
>>68886272
>arnold white
>is actually black
>>68886351
>redditors in other words
shit b8
not even true
>>68886272
What does skullduggery means?
>>68886272
daily reminder, if you dont like Armond White, suicide is a worthy way of death.
>>68886415
like when you're slooging around with your mates but they keep on quandering no matter what
>>68886427
>didn't like RE:Afterlife
dropped
>>68886415
>Stanley Kauffman
>Gave a Rotten to Godfather and 2001
>Not the king of /tv/
>>68886427
jesus christ not only does he sound like the most pretentious faggot he has horrible fucking taste
>>68886477
he did like it famalam
>>68886526
sorry I can't read it's a miracle if I can turn on my computer tbf
>>68886503
>toy story 3, the happening, house bunny, and fantastic 4 are good movies anon
wrong opinions
>"To some, Scorsese and writer Paul Scrader's perception of hell- as a crazed taxi driver's vision of NYC - was brilliant. To us, this gory, cold-blooded story of a sick man's lurid descent into violence is ugly and unredeeming." ** out of ****
>>68886368
>I'm not black like Barry White
>no I am white like Frank Black is,
>>68886629
>That Maltin cameo in gremlins 2
>>68886427
He's right about capeshit.
>>68886427
His Harry Potter review is pretty spot-on.
>>68886940
all of his reviews are spot on, even bad movies he says "this is what they were going for, it was good in that aspect"
>>68886427
I agree with Armond White's reviews 90% of the time
>pessimistic, grim, negative, depressing, etc.
>criticism
I think religious lunatics subconsciously process anything with an underlying realism as an attack on their hope for the supernatural to make it all worthwhile. That's the only explanation I can come up with for why adults become so insecure around "grimdark" or "edgy."
>>68889156
>I think religious lunatics subconsciously process anything with an underlying realism as an attack on their hope for the supernatural to make it all worthwhile.
woah there, easy with the razor edged fedora
>>68886272
>you will never make a living writing contrarian opinions
>>68889236
Of course there's also the element that religious people tend to be extremely unintelligent and scream about hats frequently, as though they belong in padded cells.
>>68889326
>Of course there's also the element that religious people tend to be extremely unintelligent
As opposed to you, Mr Success At Life, who spends his time posting on a vietnamese forum for water puppet enthusiasts
>>68886427
literally contrarian: the person
he should be the king of /tv/
>>68886272
is that where this nigra-face meme comes from?
>>68889415
>Agrees with the mainstream over half the time
>contrarian
pick one
also reddit memes
I bet these guys are kicking themselves, hahaha
>>68886427
The Captain America review is literally spot on. How can anyone disagree?
>>68886427
>likes GI Joe, Transformers and Fantastic 4
>Disses good capeshit
The mans a contrarian retard, plain and simple.
>>68890947
Honestly you're right.
Armond is definitely a contrarian to a fault, but he is 100% right on that blurb.
>>68891081
>i didn't read what he had to say
good job idiot
>>68886500
Contrarians need not be teenagers, they come in all shapes and sizes.
>>68891235
I did. His reasonings for liking obvious shit were weak enough to support the contrarian explanation. There's no way you can give Fantastic 4 a positive review without being a special snowflake being a primary motivation.
>>68891235
Did you? You can apply most of the praise to the stuff he disses and vice versa.
>>68891334
you didnt
>it's shit but it's the least shit out right now go see this if you have to
>from a technical perspective it's fucking great and really can entertain
also
>unironically saying contrarian
see >>68889819
>>68886427
That fucking way of talking, holy shit. He's clearly an older guy but he talks like a high schooler who just found a thesaurus.
>>68890947
Unfortunately, I agree. The Rocketeer is one of my favorite movies, so I was hoping for a movie with a similar tone. The first half was fun, but then its just Marvel scene #324, Marvel scene #094,...
>>68891416
>>68891389
>>68891334
literally one person
>>68886427
> Frost/Nixon and Toy Story 3 are rotten
> Jonah Hex and BvS are fresh
> What
I think he keeps a D12 die is his pocket at all times. Before he writes a review for a movie, he goes for a roll. 5 or 8, he writes an honest review. Anything other than 5 or 8, he writes a contrarian review. It's the only explanation.
>>68886427
>Wright's speed and humor are authentic and irresistible
Oh hey, Armond was right about something. Now will contrarian faggots stop shitting on this brilliant auteur?
>>68891699
>liking goy story and fan fiction of Frost/Nixon
>hating Jonah Hex and BvS
what?
>>68891788
>>68891699
>>68891416
>>68891389
>>68891334
>grammar is exactly the same
how is this not the same guy. I bet it's the Evan fag
>>68891806
Goy Story? Are you 15?
And yes I prefer the technical and artistic achievement, and the well-acted - if less than historically accurate - dialogue-driven drama over two messy noise-fests.
>>68886427
>The Help demonstrates the conned intelligence of the "post-racial" and "postblack" Obama era, where the anxieties of unequal yet mutually beneficial black-white relationships are conveniently, speciously, put behind us.
What did he mean by this?
>>68891952
You really love hyphens huh
>>68886272
My favorite is Bosley Crowther's review of Lawrence of Arabia, he reams it a new asshole and pretty much sums up how I feel about the film as well.
>>68891864
The only post I made is >>68891788. Don't be such a paranoid idiot.
>>68891416
>"That fucking way of talking"
You could use a few pointers on English eloquence yourself, anon.
>>68886427
>Avatar: "The corniest movie ever made about a white man's need to lose his identity and assuage racial, political, sexual, and historical guilt."
S A V A G E
T
R
A
I
G
H
T A L K
>>68891557
>>68891864
What the fuck are you talking about?
>>68892058
i loved ur mum's hyphen dude
>>68886629
I loved that episode of MST3K where they mocked the shit out of him for giving Laserblast 3/4 stars.
>>68886427
This guy baffles me.
When his rating actually corresponds to the RT aggregate rating, he gioves some insight as to why the movie fails/succeeds.
Whya re his other reviews so contrarian?
>It's the crappy summer blockbuster Marvelites probably deserve.
>>68891864
>everyone I don't like is the Evan fag!
>>68891416
>He's clearly an older guy but he talks like a high schooler who just found a thesaurus.
Listen here you little shit. Armond White used to be a professor of film at university.
He knows what he's talking about. The only reason he's "contrarian" is because he's the only film reviewer with an actual education.
>>68892721
We know it's you, Mr. White.
>>68891864
Jesus christ you are obsessed.
>>68886272
I dont get Marc, how is any of that bad?
>>68886415
underhand, unscrupulous, or dishonest behaviour or activities.
>>68886272
Pretty bland desu
The French site allocine.fr has much more acid coments in the zero points section of each movie page. Even more if you go in the "viewers critique" part.
Here's the zero stars page for "Les visiteurs 3" for example
>http://www.allocine.fr/film/fichefilm-221713/critiques/spectateurs/star-0/
You will have a good laugh reading this ocean of bile (if you understand French of course)
