ITT: your oscar speech
>>68784187
>thank everyone
>thank primary producer (who pays me)
>thank director (branding)
>thank everyone at (branding)
>thank wife and or kids
>thank god, maybe?
>thank the fans, if not an idiot.
>>68784187
>Wow
>I'm just.. wow
>Oh my god, haha, I never in a million years.. wow!
>I just want, haha, I just want to thank all the big guys that supported me on my way here
>You guys are amazing!
>You know, when I first entered into hollywood, everyone told me 'you don't get to bring friends'
>well, I proved them wrong! I'm just so happy right now
>And I want to give a special shout-out to my homeboy Aidan
>you're the best bud
>he couldn't make it cause he had to do some filing with his agent, see?
>but this one's for you buddy!
DR PAVEL IM CIA HE WASNT ALONE HE WORKS FOR THE MERCENARY THE MASKETTA MAN BANE? AYE GET THEM ON BOARD FIRST ONE TO TALK GETS TO STAY ON MY AIRCRAFT TELL ME ABOUT BANE WHY DOES HE WEAR THE MASK HE DIDNT FLY SO GOOD OR PERHAPS HES WONDERING WHY HE WOULD GET SHOT BEFORE GETTING OUT OF A PLANE AT LEAST YOU CAN TALK WHO ARE YOU IT DOESNT MATTER WHO WE ARE WHAT MATTERS IS OUT PLAN IF I TAKE THAT OFF WILL YOU DIE IT WOULD BE EXTREMELY PAINFUL YOUR A BIG GUY FOR YOU
>thanks
Man, you don't know how much weinstein dick I had to suck to get this
what up..
well i´m sorry to hear that..
because now, i will snatch every motherfucker award
>>68784503
I could actually see someone doing this and the awkward, forced applause afterwards.
mmmWWWAAAHHHHHthefrenshchamapgnehasalwaysbeencelebratedforitsexcellence
>>68784503
>not knowing all the dialogue for the first six minutes of the dark knight rises.
What are you doing with your life, fampai?
Jews did my career
>>68784187
I would literally made deal with some big company for like 10million dollars and start promoting companys shit when it comes to my turn to speak
CHECK OUT THESE DUBS LOSERS
Right now <insert random indegenous tribe> is suffering because of our wasteful society. Followed by....
>environmental caution
>racial injustice
>vaccines are bad
>we should not be awarding ourselves but awarding those who can not award themselves speech
>close by leaving Oscar on stage
I'd like to thank the stuntmen because no one else will
krager is a nigger. thank you.
>>68784733
That last one would be legendary
Anyone who did that would go down in history guaranteed
>>68784772
Not memeing
I think they should have oscar category
>I just want to bring awareness to the fact that we are living in a material world, and I am a material girl
>>68784828
We do. It's the category for special effects since stuntmen have were replaced 40 years ago
>>68784187
>>68784412
Nothing. I say nothing.
Yo, check it
1 for Adolf Hitler
2 for David Duke
3 for the
Fourth Reich alive dropping nukes
Five million dead kikes
Or was it six?
Seven decades later the number is still getting fixed
I stand eight niggers up in a line
Put them down with my nine
Ten inches for the bitches, leave them feeling fine
>>68784187
>Thanks faggots
>global warming isn't caused by humans
That's it, the next day I'll give interviews to all the eager hollywood reporter sights while using my nekkid man as an ashtray.
>>68784946
that's a lot of shooting
>>68784880
There is huge amount of stunt work in todays movies, like you wouldn't belive how much
>>68784187
>Bane?
>>68784187
>this is all a lie
>light myself on fire in sing of protest
>First off I would like to thank God, with Him all things are possible. Of course I need to also thank my loving wife, and my friends for all their support through the years. And all the viewers out there, thank you very much for this honor. Good night and SEND THE NIGGER ANIMALS BACK TO AFRICA, STOMP THE SPICS, AND GAS THE KIKES THE RACE WAR IS NOW
>Slowly walk to the podium, with a big smile on my face
>As I finally reach the podium, I look out to the crowd, still smiling, careful not to make any noise
>Before saying anything, I put my index finger up, and reach into my coat pocket.
>Pull out a piece of paper that is rolled into a cylinder, with a red ribbon in the middle
>Pull the ribbon off, and cough as I begin my speech
>Look closely at the piece of paper, squinting, but I cannot see what it says
>Pull out glasses from other side of coat
>Put them on and read the message
>"Thanks"
>Leave Oscar on the podium and walk away
>>68786065
Kek
>>68784605
every fucking time
>>68784187
>pull out a knife
>cut off my own pinky on stage
THIS IS WHAT I GIVE UP FOR MY ART.
>DON'T VOTE FOR DONALD TRUMP
>WHITE PEOPLE ARE EVIL
Did I do good?
>>68784187
>thanks to the autists at /tv/ who are currently at home shit talking this movie because it's popular with mainstream audiences
>>68784503
Bretty gud
>Mel Gibson Jew rant
I would like to thank my only one true companion, my falcon. Take a bow, sweetie.
>>68784946
well then just fucking blow out Hollywood
>DONT GO TO THE AWARDS TOMORROW
>>68784187
>kill the niggers, gas the kikes! /pol/was right! /pol/ was right! C U C K
thanks
>>68786065
All this but
>open up the paper
>*clear throat*
>reads tiny paper
>"And the Winner Is.....
>John Malkovich"
I'd like to thank Mel Gibson for being my inspiration
>Walk on stage to get award
>"I want to thank my director"
>"I want to thank my producer"
>"I want to thank the wonderful actors I worked with"
>"I want to thank God for giving me this opportunity....I have waited for this forever"
>Looks at qt gf sitting next to my empty seat
>"anon....will you marry me?"
>qt gf does say anything
>"You inspired me to do so much including this performance"
>qt gf stands up and walks out of the building without saying a word
>silence
>"I...I want to thank all of you for being here"
>walk back to my seat
>>68784187
wow... honestly I did NOT expect this!
.....
wow
.....
how on earth did I beat out such competition? I mean..
.......
wow okay so first I want to thank my family, they thought I was crazy but they still put up with me, love you guys!
I want to also thank the producers, Mr. Inarritu, and my co stars Chirs Evans, Steve Carrel and Kate Beckinsale. I truly couldn't have done it without you guys!
um, thank you to all my fans, thanks to everyone for all the support..
and wow.. just... thank you!
>i'd like to dispel the notion
>i'd like to dispel the notion
>i'd like to dispel the notion
>i'd like to dispel the notion
>i'd like to dispel the notion
>i'd like to dispel the notion
>>68784187
>Thank you /tv/
>Im a big guy
>4U
>Its treason then
>it aint me starts playing
>When I woke up this morning I got a call from Leo, he said to me "anon don't worry about it if you don't get it, it took me years to get one" First try! Get fucked Leo
It's my privilege thank you.
>>68788576
>>68788823
so fucking close
...and thanks to the big guys I met at that one Malaysian sauna, here's to you. I'm still not leavingpls no bully
Thanks. Looks shiny.
>>68788885
>>68788823
that's enough 4chinz today
I dedicate this award to all the dead orphans that never got a chance to act in a movie before
>>68784187
>Wow! My fifth Oscar!
>how do I do keep doing it?
>peace
>>68788865
ayyhttps://youtu.be/rgkrEPCn1wU
>I never thought that one day i'd be up here and be able to say: That one day, every person in this nation will control their own destiny! A land of the truly free dammit! A nation of action not words -- ruled by strength not committee! Where the law changes to suit the individual, not the other way around! Where power and justice are in back where they belong, in the hands of the people! Where every man is free -- to think --to act -- For himself! Fuck all these limp-dick lawyers, and these chicken shit bureaucrats! Fuck this 24/7 internet spew of trivia and celebrity bullshit! Fuck American Pride -- fuck the media -- Fuck - all of it! America is diseased -- rotten to the core...there's no saving it... We need to pull it out by the roots! Wipe the slate clean -- burn it down! And from the ashes a new America will be born! Evolved but untaimed! The weak will be purged -- and the strongest will thrive -- free to live as they see fit! They'll make America great again!
MUUUUUAAAAHHHahhhhhh theoscarsspeeeach hasalwaysbeenselebrated for its sexellecence.
>>68789221
she doesn't do anything?
I'd start jerking myself off behind the podium and just loudly grunt until I was physically forced off of the stage. It would be all over TV.
>>68784187
FUCKING NORMALFAGS GET OUT OF MY AWARDS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Except you Cameron, you're a cool guy
>>68784187
Jet fuel can't melt steel beams.
Thank you
So... you hear about that guy Dan Schneider?
