>Obi-Wan Kenobi
He has just given a speech about how his allegiance is to the Republic and democracy, doesn't want him to try it, and is currently in possession of the highground
>Jackie Chan
The room is a fun house mirror room under construction with slippery floors, janitor equipment, and ladders everywhere. He's extremely drunk, has just slid down the side of a building, fallen through multiple clothe canopies before landing on top of a city bus and dodging multiple street signs and other obstacles before beating up 12 thugs and stumbling into said area. He's warmed up and has finally started taking things seriously, and promptly tells Obi-Wan that he don't want no trabble.
Who wins?
>>67880003
jackie can beat batman and superman, so he wins
>>67880003
Sounds like neither of them want trabble actually.
>>67880018
Not when Obi-Wan is highgrounded, it's not gonna be so easy
>>67880003
Jackie isn't holding a baby. I think Obi has the edge, here.
>>67880097
>highgrounded
what if from jackies point of view he has the high ground
>>67880003
Maybe Jackie Chan if he was also holding a baby,
I'll take the space wizard with a laser sword over the drunk manlet whose alright at punching things.
>>67880127
Can you draw a diagram
>>67880003
depends. does obi wan have the high ground?
>>67880194
>>67880127
It could appear that way. He is in a fun house mirror room.
>>67880194
here
>>67880225
could this mean the high ground is constantly in question?
>>67880270
Obi-Wan has lived in space his entire life though, which is much higher than Earth where Jackie is lived. He's got a lifetime of high ground pent up inside him
>>67880359
But if jackie chan stands on the ladder, he could easily achieve an even higher ground
>>67880154
>he's too autistic to play along
>>67880359
but jackie is drunk and in the fun house, is it possible his ever shifting view could change the high ground at any moment?
could the low ground be a factor?
>>67880436
The low ground is an ancient Sith technique. I highly doubt Obi has heard of it, and it's impossible for Jackie to have. Unless you're implying the low ground is inherent in those who face a high grounder
>>67880098
>>67880147
Guys, guys, let's be realistic for a second.
There is a distinct possibility that there are babies in the fun house and that jackie chan could pick them up. It is a fun house after all.
>>67880388
Do you think every rung of a ladder has its own individual high ground and low ground? Just curious for future high ground discussions
>>67880406
>>>/reddit/
>>67880065
Underated post
>>67880590
Considering Jackie Chan would likely be shifting between wild kicks and handstands whilst engaging from the ladder, and even potentially between multiple ladders.
We also can't discount the possibility that a baby would crawl into the fun house for some fun, and promptly get mixed up in the ladder mayhem, further complicating the matter of intricate high ground discussion.
Beyond that, there is no sure way to know considering that ladders may be stacked on top of each other and that jackie chan himself might be in possession of yet another ladder on top of the stacked ladders and whether or not obi wan has done his mandatory fancy lightsaber twirl before moving in for the kill.
There are simply too many variables. We may need to bring in some experts.
>>67880843
The real question is if the ladders and fun house trickery are immune to the force
>>67880921
All we know for certain is that there are going to be a hell of a lot of broken mirrors.
>>67880843
>>67880921
>>67881027
Let's assume the best for each party. Jackie has plenty of ladders and a baby in his arms. Against almost any opponent, he would be impervious to conventional attacks. Obi-Wan, who previous to this encounter was hit with a strong blast of low ground energy by a Sith Lord, has now been made permanently high grounded by the Force in an attempt to bring balance. Jackie cannot take the high ground, unless through highly mystical means. Obi is also consistently twirling his lightsaber and engaging in Form IV banter with Jackie. How do things look now?
Is Jackie Chan in possession of any Talismans or Medallions?
Is Jackie Chan wearing a Tuxedo?
>>67881152
Obi-wan's twirling lightsaber defense, as we all know, is nigh-impervious to attacks. It is both intimidating and virtually impossible to counter. HOWEVER, we have to consider that Obi-Wan finds this entire situation highly uncivilized and may have recently been exhausted from falling off a cliff a thousand meters into a small pool of water, so it's hard to tell how fast and effectively obi wan is twirling his lightsaber. Furthermore, he could easily mistaken Jackie's attacks for a conveniently placed mirror and accidentally slip on a banana peel left by the lazy janitors, leaving Jackie in a momentarily advantageous high ground position, at least from a certain perspective. While it can be argued that Jackie may be inconvenienced at any moment by Chris Rock and suddenly be distracted long enough for Obi-Wan to regain the high ground, it's hard to say whether this momentary lapse of the tiger pose would give obi-wan the opportunity to breach the impenetrable defense of ladders and a baby, which of course is now being balanced on the back of Jackie's ankle while he juggles a ladder, broom, and a crying Chris Rock.
>>67881452
*Tucker, not Rock, my bad!
I get my niggers mixed up from time to time
>>67881452
Which is the perfect opportunity for Obi-Wan to imitate the cry of a varactyl, like he did to frighten the Tusken Raiders. This scares Jackie into dropping the ladder, broom, and Chris Rock. The baby is safe of course, as Jackie, in a panic somersaults in such a fashion that the baby winds up in his now empty hands. Obi-Wan draws the broom and ladder to him with the Force and slices them both in two, rendering them unusable. Chris Rock is a blubbering mess at this point.
>>67881690
Shit, forgot what you were referencing, so Tucker* for me too
>>67881506
>I get my niggers mixed up
And now I'm triggered.
Epic thread ruined.
I'm going back to that site with the dank memes because the meme magic ITT has turned to the darkside.
Are we forgetting Jackie isdrunk during this? The notion of high ground is completely counteracted by Jackie's drunk fu depth perception. He could also just...you know... Climb the ladders.
>>67881690
At this point, Jackie chan promptly wipes the sweat from his brow and removes his top layer of clothing, leaving nothing but a tank top and some fingerless gloves. He's now been spun around numerous times by a bewildered Chris Tucker and is now both extremely dizzy as well as drunk. Obi-wan moves in for the attack, but after a convincingly intimidating light saber twirl, is comically tripped by Chris Tucker as he dives for cover whilst taunting about how his daddy could kick Obi-Wan's daddy's ass all the way from here to China, Japan, or wherever the hell he's from before promptly stumbling into the pile of broken broom sticks and ladders. This opportunity gives jackie that opportunity throw the baby into the air and land his most effective blows of the fight before frantically scrambling to retrieve the baby, which has landed safely on the pile of broken ladders, broomsticks, and a screaming Chris Tucker. This opportunity is crucial for Obi-wan, who now has the opportunity to recover and attack a baby-less Jackie. However, because jackie is frantically climbing the pile to reach the baby, he momentarily has the high ground and Obi wan attacks, only to destroy yet another mirror while jackie chan backflips to catch the falling baby. Chris Tucker at this point is complaining that nobody is speaking American.
>>67882322
As Chris is angrily asking Jackie if Jackie understands the words coming out of his mouth, Obi uses this distraction to pull the baby from the top of the pile into his arms. He Force jumps with the child to rafters near the ceiling, where a convoluted series of pulleys are moving girders to and fro. This building is still under construction. Obi-Wan, knowing his tropes, places the baby here. Obi knows full well that the baby is safe to crawl to its heart's content, as no matter how close the baby comes to falling, another girder will fall into place to keep him safe. Obi-Wan descends. Jackie has lulled Chris into a stupor, and is ready to fight. But each opponent has lost his greatest strength: Obi-Wan no longer has any natural methods of gaining the high ground, and Jackie has no baby.
>>67880270
ANyone know the name of some old JAckie Chan movie where some big ass crane destroys like a small building or warehouse, and then he fights some guys on a train or something? it's all chinks cast.
>>67882979
At this point, the combatants are tired and unwilling to continue without the sound tactical advantage offered by the highground, ladders, a baby, and the aid of alcohol. Jackie is out of alcohol and Obi-Wan is now questioning is troubled by the potential of the sand people soon being back in greater numbers. Jackie firmly reiterates that he don't want no trabble, and Obi Wan once again desperately pleads that Jackie not try it.
In a startling twist of fate, the two agree to put their differences aside and go their separate ways.
It's a draw for now, but undoubtedly a series of unlikely and wild stunts will lead the two to confront each other in the future. It can only be theorized who would truly have the high ground at that point, or if there was ever even a highground at all in that fun house of mirrors.
As they leave, Chris Tucker holds out his arms in anger demanding that Obi-Wan come back so he can kick his booty back to space mountain, and promptly catches the baby as it falls from the last girder.
However, before ending their battle and going their separate ways
>>67883621
, they're promptly surrounded by a legion of stormtroopers, 20 thugs armed with various melee weapons, an angry Darth Vader and Valmont. Chris Tucker tries to run away but promptly smashes into Jar Jar Binks, and they both stumble to the floor. Jackie Chan cries in horror, but is stunned to find the baby floating in mid air. Obi-Wan catches him with the force, and brings him safely to Jackie Chan's able hands.
The two heroic figures stand back to back, surrounded by their worst enemies, forced to work together to save the baby and escape the fun house of doom.
Tune in next week for the thrilling finale.
>>67883743
It was nice making a story and flexing my creative muscle with you anon
I'll make a thread continuing Obi and Jackie's adventure's soon
>>67883621
> It can only be theorized who would truly have the high ground at that point, or if there was ever even a highground at all in that fun house of mirrors
>>67883879
Same, makes me wish I didn't have to write 3 papers this week. I should save this shit in a word document and fix the errors, might be fun.
>>67883621
>As they leave, Chris Tucker holds out his arms in anger demanding that Obi-Wan come back so he can kick his booty back to space mountain, and promptly catches the baby as it falls from the last girder.
lol
What a brilliant use of my time on a Monday night.
I regret nothing
