ITT:
We write quips for Suicide Squad
>queen trash in the trailer
the movie is a giant meme quip already
>>67770659
>you're quite the killer, Croc
>>67770659
>We are on a suicide mission, like a director filming a DC flick.
Hey slipknot, is your favorite band... Slipknot?
I'm not a writer so be gentle on me guys
>>67770659
Why do they all look so dirty
Being a villain doesn't mean you can't take a shower once in a while
>>67770732
muh grit
>>67770659
I can't get over how much they look like a bunch of autists at a comic convention.
>>67770659
>"did you just throw a ginormous frisbee at me? the fuck..."
>"im supposed to be a crocodile, not a dog".
>>67770659
>"fill me up with your black cock"
HOL UP
YOU BE SAYIN WE SOME KINDA
SUICIIIIIIDEE SQUAAAAAAAAAAAAAD????
>>67770659
That guy stole Bane's coat
>Captain Boomerang tries to ditch the squad.
>He runs into a pack of goons and comes galloping back, yelling, so that Deadshot and Harley can back him up.
>Deadshot: Wouldn't you know it! He really does always come back.
>Harley: I don't get it.
>Deadshot: You know, because of his name!
>Harley: George?
>>67770791
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YS35BPH7y2g
>Deadshot? More like SuicideShot, am I right?!
>>67770873
that's actually quite good
>>67770682
Shit taste.
BOYS! MMM!
Will Smith meets Harley Quinn!
Hah! I love it!
I love being cucked forever.
>>67770659
*looks at killer croc*
"Hey pal, you oughta get yourself some moisturiser"
Croc: My natural habitats water and 65% of your body looks very inviting
*Killer Croc makes love to henchman*
Croc: Hows that for moisturiser?
>>67770823
6/10 okay neo-memery, but it's not quite epic. Remember: the only good neo-meme is an epic neo-meme.
>>67770905
>youtube comedy by people with baffling accents and delivery
<3
>>67770731
boooooooo
>>67770873
is the joke that there is actually a member of the Squad called "Captain Boomerang"?
>>67770873
not bad
![hqdefault[5].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/RGvqIs2.jpg "hqdefault[5].jpg")
"Let's see if we can kill as many Jews as that earlier SS!"
>>67770980
I QUIT! MAKE THE MOVIE YOUR OWN DAMN SELF
>>67770659
DURRRRRR
BUHHHHHHHHH
WEHHHHH
*honking sounds*
>>67770991
And that Harley calls him George.
See, it's layered. Unlike the Marvel quips.
This joke was actually too advanced for emulating Marvel humor.
>"Over here we have Digger Harkness, AKA Boomerang."
>"OI IT'S CAPTAIN BOOMERANG M8"
>"You're not a captain."
>"I AIN'T NO BOOMERANG EITHER YA' CUNT! I'LL GLASS YA' ASS"
>>67770873
you're a funny guy.
>>67770659
*Katana pulls out her Katana*
*Boomerang looks at her with a dry smirk*
Boomerang: You call that a knife?
*Boomerang unsheathes his zanpakutō from his trench coat*
Boomerang: Now this, this is a knife
*Boomerang looks at the camera and winks*
>>67771057
Made me chuckle
>>67771057
>We are full mate!
>>67770991
fun trivia: suicide squad is a really, really shitty comic to begin with
>>67770945
Queen is trash. She is shit because her lines has a range of "haha the voice in my head tell to kill you all i'm a psycho xdxdxdxd". The internet doesn't dictate anything, she is shit because she is unoriginal and she only exists to pander "quirky nerdy" girls and my boner.
>>67771085
Uuuu
>>67771057
kek
>>67771057
I hope this is in there
>>67771106
underage fag
>>67771106
>I think "Queen" is the name of the crazy young lady in the trailer!!
for fuck's sake...
>>67771096
*Katana unseaths her katana*
*Captain pulls out a Boomerang*
*Killer Croc looks confused looking for something*
>>67771057
Wouldn't be a proper shitposting Australian without a good glassing
>>67771175
>Sometime later, while infiltrating the enemy HQ through the sewers
>"Ah here it is!"
>*grabs a sewer crocodile and hits the enemy with it*
>>67770659
I think you mean Quipknot...
"Seems he's all...tied up."
>>67770951
Jessie was not bad in bvs
>>67771105
you don't say, so are like 80% of them.
>>67771057
>>67771175
>>67771250
>>67771257
"They really hung us out to dry!"
>>67771105
yeah because it has superheroes in it. when are those comics ever good? never.
>>67771153
>>67770945
>defending queen
Wait until you're 18 to start posting.
>>67771175
>>67771250
this is some teen titans shit i love it
>>67771106
>>67771399
It's Harley Quinn, not Queen, you stupid fuck
>nutin personal keed
>>67771250
if they streamlined the delivery of those two jokes there could be something funny there, maybe in the sewers katana and boomerang get a kill with their respective weapons boomerang looks over at her mid takedown and flashes his boomerang, ockerishly mouthes "boomerang" at her while grinning, she flashes her katana back mid kill "so unsophisticated", killer croc interupts the scene by launching a 3 metre long croc through their conversation at an enemy. Exchange a look. Katana - "Can't top that" Boomerang - "Fucking Oath"
Me in the audience - "THIS IS REDDIT THIS IS MEMES THIS IS REDDIT THIS IS MEMESTHIS IS REDDIT THIS IS MEMESTHIS IS REDDIT THIS IS MEMESTHIS IS REDDIT THIS IS MEMESTHIS IS REDDIT THIS IS MEMESTHIS IS REDDIT THIS IS MEMESTHIS IS REDDIT THIS IS MEMESTHIS IS REDDIT THIS IS MEMES"
>Some other bad guy asks Cpt. Boomerang to be part of the squad
>"FUCK OFF WE'RE FULL"
>Glasses the cunt
How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real?
![maxresdefault[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/cbPitlZ.jpg "maxresdefault[1].jpg")
>>67771399
hey newfag, lemme spoonfag you since you're obviously new and retarded. Queen was a band whose song was used in the trailer.
this faggot was the lead singer. he died of AIDS
*final battle*
*Deadshot and Harley are shooting guys back to back*
*Deadshot Harley now shooting chest to chest*
*Deadshot and Harley catch eachover gase then start making out*
* joker enters*
Jocker: H-H-H-H-Harley how could you
Harley: what can i say he always hits his mark
>>67771425
this isn't the freddy mercury thread?
>Target practice
>Each member of the Suicide Squad shoots their target with their trademark pose or style
>Last to do so is Deadshot
>Points and tries to shoot a target, pulls the trigger
>CLICK
>CLICK CLICK CLICK
>"Hold up, why isn't this shit working?"
>Looks down
>"W-Where's the fucking magazine?!"
>"Right here!"
>Joker hands him a copy of Playgirl
>>67771645
MADMAN
![harley-quinn-i-ll-bet-you-didn-t-know-these-8-things-about-the-clown-princess-814359[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/25aTmaA.jpg "harley-quinn-i-ll-bet-you-didn-t-know-these-8-things-about-the-clown-princess-814359[1].jpg")
>>67771399
>>67771636
this is Margot Robbie, who plays Harley Quinn
>>67771637
some sorta cuckold squad
>>67770659
is that Bane?
>>67771665
But I'm talking about Queen. The song in the trailer is by Queen. Queen sucks and whoever likes them has shit taste. And everybody lived happily forever after.
>>67771773
Who doesn't suck?
>>67770823
>huh huh for you huh huh
Shut up.
>>67771773
>whoever likes them has shit taste
That's cute.
>>67771794
Marcel Foley.:^)
>Final battle
>Boomerang is down to one boomerang.
>Throws it.
>Enemies intercept it.
>Has to crawl around the battlefield to get it back so he can keep fighting.
>>67771822
You don't know how boomerangs work do you?
>>67771794
Fallout Boy
>>67771773
Queen has some good songs, but the use of the song in the trailer was very bad.
>>67771865
>Enemies intercept it
test
>>67771773
Be honest, how many pee jars do you have in the corner? And rate on a scale of 1-10 how mortified you'd be if someone saw them.
>>67771948
>your mom intercepts this dick
>>67770659
why isn't joker in the pic?
>>67772031
he was grounded
>>67772001
i unironically have a half bottle to piss in if i'm already in bed
>>67770659
>>67770659
>What, you mean we some kinda "Suicide Squad"?
>*Harley looks at the camera and raises her eyebrows, knowingly
>>67770659
indian guy on the far left for best prey movie that'll never be made
>>67772044
sucks, because he's the only good actor
>>67770697
Marvel tier
>>67772110
or right, I guess.fuck my anus I need sleep
>>67772107
>The shot stays still for a couple seconds
>Switches to a view of Deadshot
>He waves his hand in front of her and goes "You there? What are you looking at?"
>>67772044
the absolutecuckkkk
>>67770659
>*will Smith looks at killer croc*
>damn boy, didn't momma warn you about not using lotion? You know, I got a bottle in my car...
DC, why?
>>67772107
>>67772149
This is why /tv/ needs to get together and write a script
>>67772001
>Croc and Deadshot hanging out, maybe on guard duty
>"So...why they call you Deadshot?"
>"Cos when I make a shot, they dead"
>"Oh"
>"Why they call you Killer Croc?"
>"Agile Alligator didn't sound right"
*Everbody is chatting on the bus ride to the battle*
Deadshot: so what did you all get locked for
Slipnot: man tries to hurt my daughter, man goes home to find family hanging from the rafters
Enchanteres: For consuming the souls of the unwearthy
Killercrock: I ate 956 poeple in one week
Katna: I have done no crime exsept avenging my ansestors with the blade that once belonged to them
Harley: oh you know just mass genoiside and a few major bombings and you know alot of over girly stuff am i right girls.
Captin Boomnerang: I fucked a cat
Deadshot: Hol up you tellin me they locked your ass up for sticking your dick in a cat
Captain Boomnerang: Yup
Deadshot: If all you did was rape a cat then why are you rolling with us
Captain Boomnerang: It was not any ordanyery cat it was a radioactive cat
Deadshot: riiiiiiight
>We're bad guys, it's what we do
>>67772115
>cara
>not a good actor
>>67770823
10/10
>>67771096
>>67771175
>>67771250
10/10, hope you helm the DCEU
>>67770659
Is this Bane?
>>67771021
Calm down, Raimi.
(Croc to Harley) Catch you later alligator
(Harley to croc) After a while crocodile.
*popcorn eating intensefies*
>>67772373
>1/16 jewish
>3/4 male
>Start of the film
>Harley is reading "The Dummies Guide to Windows XP"
>Captain Boomerang walks past
>"Why are you reading that? Windows XP hasn't been used in years"
>"Hey, you never know"
>"Are you that crazy? What a waste of time, you're an idiot"
>Harley is a little annoyed but brushes it off
>First mission
>The terrorist unit they're tracking down has built a complicated bomb with a Windows XP interface, Captain Boomerang is dumbfounded
>Harley walks past smugly towards the console
Nothing anyone came up with in this thread is as bad as Harley's "hurr the voices " retardation.
That's how fucking bad this movie will be. We can't even come up with worse if we try.
>Crocodile tries to eat a random woman
>They stop him
>She says "That croc was going to eat me alive.''
>Boomerang goes ''Well, I wouldn't hold that against him. Same thought crossed my mind once or twice''fucking based Dundee
>"You guys wanna go hit up a bar?"
>"The only bar I need is right here"
>*Joker brandishes a bloodied neon crowbar with graffiti on itThis is the kind of "edgy" humour we will be getting
>>67772523
find replace Windows XP with Fortran maybe?
>>67772457
>after a while crocodile
It's 'in a while crocodile'
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>67772594
That joke but with something really niche and strange would probably work well for Quinn 2bh
>>67772377
ahahah
>>67770952
Oh, oh my...
This movie makes me so depressed.
We'll not get another harley movie for years(decade) after this.
It was our one shot to get a decent Harley in movie and it's gonna be Halle Berry's catwoman tier.
>>67772098
you degenerate
>>67770873
You interested in comedy writing?
[email protected]
Send a screencap of proof that you posted and I'll respond, thanks
>>67770823
*gets jiggy with it*
JOKER VS SUPERMAN
>>67770951
>>67772559
>mfw 4th comment on youtube is about how this line is great and doesn't look like sarcasm
>>67770873
Isn't this from that Superior foes of Spider-Man comic?
Harley Quinn's hurr the voices thing is the first time I've ever been genuinely offended by anything in media. I'm schizophrenic but even if I wasn't I think the sheer cringe of that moment would have switched me
>>67770659
Jai Courtney
>>67772589
>First time Boomerang sees Croc
>"Crikey he's a beaut."
>>67773115
These are the people they make movies for.
No wonder how 99% of the movies are garbage now.
>>67773115
Prove you're schizophrenic.
Keep in mind you'll be replying to a mental health nurse who knows all the latest treatments, medication, symptoms, etc.
>>67770659
they all look like they are cosplaying their own characters
>>67773218
>File name
>Joker, you're insane!
>Yeah, insane in the membrane!
>5 minute song & dance scene
>>67773263
Spent a cumulative 14 months in state hospitals after onset from teenage amphetamine abuse. Currently on heavy doses of Seroquel
Good job on being a male nurse friend.
>>67770659
>Cosplay Squad
>>67773263
> male nurse
I'm a pathetic neet but at least I'm not male nurse
>tfw this will never happen
>>67773360
Dumbass
>>67773263
>male nurse
Pls give me your email, if I ever need an expert in making beds or looking into a room every 30 minutes and saying "are you ok?" while holding a clipboard I'll hit you up bruh.
>>67773263
>male
>nurse
>>67773446
Probably hurts when you try to show someone up with your shit-tier "career" and end up wrong anyway.
>the nurses life is hard meme
I fucking hate every real life nurse I know.
"my job is so hard and I don't get paid enough blah blah blah"
Everyone in the world thinks this but nurses for some reason have free reign to just say that whenever. Like what the fuck bitch you chose that career. You went out of your way to work that job, I really could give a fuck if you hate it.
>>67773263
>male nurse
>>67773564
Speaking as the guy who was in hospital, psychiatric nurses have an incredibly comfy job in little to no situations are they required to use any medical knowledge. They're there to dispense meds under doctor direction and be annoying pests who give you no privacy. They can barely give an antihistamine without doctor clearance. Well worth bragging about on 4chan, lel
>>67773413
>>67773472
>>67773506
Not OP but making good money while surrounded by hot female nurses is better than most jobs, especially yours if you even have one.
>>67770659
>is this some kind of suicide squad?
>hahaha that's just the voices?
>were the bad guys?
>Im gonna make you hurt real bad?
>*david ayer mastubatory noises*
>>67773263
wew lad
>>67773506
>>67773616
>>67773472
>>67773413
>>67773360
>Thinks I'm male
>>67773639
>male nurse pretending not to be male nurse think this gif is amusing/or appropriate for discussion
>>67773676
ZIMBABWE
I
M
B
A
B
W
E
>>67773676
Of course, only a female could brag about such a shit and unimpressive job and actually think she's a medical "expert"
>>67773263
Ay baby how bout you nurse deez nuts ayyyyyyyy
>>67770659
Killer Cuck
>>67773676
Don't you have a bed to make?
>>67770659
>Someone's told me that Bane was suppose to be here
>He's quite the large fellow
>For you
>2016
>bragging about being a male nurse
>on an anonymous egg shell mosaic forum
If there isn't at least one joke that goes like
>They're in the prison
>"You look a little out of place here, Croc"
>"You look right at home in prison, Deadshot"
Then it's worthless
>>67773787
>>67773717
I think you're confusing "mental health nurse" with "carer" guys
>>67773837
I think you haven't been in a psychiatric hospital, friend. Psych nurses do absolutely nothing and whine about it.
>>67771096
I see you've played knifey boomerangy before
>>67773633
You could literally walk into a hospital and be taught to be a competent nurse in easy as a few months and people act like their schooling of years amount to anything medical worthy.
>>67773185
Fuck that's actually really funny fampei
Someone could say:
>if I pull off that mask would you die
Someone else could say:
>it would be extremely painful
They'd respond:
>you're a big guy
And someone else would say:
>for you
The joke here is that no one would know what the "for you" reponse was in response to. Was it for "the big guy" statement, or the "it would be extremely painful" statement?
>It's a kit scene
>Everyone is pulling their gear out, Katana with that sword, Deadshot with all these guns, goes over his hand cannon thing
>Captain Boomerang pulls out one of his boomerangs
>"What the hell you on our team for with a toy like that?"
>"I guess you haven't heard"
>Pulls out various kinds of boomerangs
>Bomberang
>Laserang
>Grenaderang
>Holds sworderang in his hand
>"...impressed?"
>Katana wanders over
>"Mine's bigger"
>Deadshot laughs
>>67771773
And what kind of music is your taste? nu metal?
>>67770659
As someone who knows nothing about who these characters are, we basically have from left to right...
Fire Guy, Crocodile Guy, Shooting Guy, Crazy Girl, Leader Guy, Ninja Girl, Witch Girl, Big Guy, and Explosives Guy.
Is this right?
>>67773263
>mental health nurse
So we're all agreed that the dynamic is
>Deadshot
>Straight man with a bit of a jokey attitude
>Harley
>Ditsy airhead who's unintentionally funny
>Digger
>The guy that tries to be serious but is often hilarious
>Katana
>Asian who gets a lot of pronunciation mistakes for comedic effect
>Croc
>Big guy who's a bit dumb and unintentionally hilarious like Harley, used with Harley for comedic double acts
>>67774064
Last two are actually Boomerang guy andguy who dies when first meeting the boss to show she means business and anyone not named Will Smith and Harley Quin can die
>>67774179
After killing supes, why would killing Ropester matter to DCCU?
>didgeridon't go there!
>oi, kabooty call! wanna see my jap's eye?
>what a croc o shit!
>never stick your dick in crazy! unless...
All Down Under Man
>>67773263
>all the latest symptoms
>the symptoms have drastically changed in the past 20 years
>>67774257
Cause Supes always comes back. Like Goku.
>>67774176
nothing will be funny on that movie, intentionally or not.
and harley is a 'le quirky gurl pretending to be crazy because boyz love it'.
>>67774435
And Jon Snow.
>>67774176
>Deadshot
Wronged hero, only here coz his lawyer fucked him, rogue with a heart of gold
>Harley
lolrandum quip machine with infinite plot armour
>Digger
The guy we wish the film was all about, instead of Will Smith
>Katana
Snake Eyes with tits
>Croc
Miserable butt of all the jokes, has one stand-out scene where he fucks everything up. Essentially a scary Groot
>>67773676
Tits or GTFO
>>67774485
>lolrandum quip machine
>tfw harley spends whole movie being t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m
>>67774516
>he wants to see male nurse tits
>>67774678
>he dosen't wants to see male nurse tits
>>67773676
helly m'lady :3
> ITT: we write suicide methods for DCucks when suicide squad flops
>they get a mission
>it takes place in miami
>queue Will Smith - Miami song
>will smith looks at camera and says "Lets get jiggy with it"
>The suicide squad patrolling the streets run into a thief stealing from an Apple Store
>Harley Quinn says "Hey Mister, Freeze!"
>Thief turns around
>It's Mr Freeze.
>>67773793
>CIA is the shortest.
He is still a big guy for me.
Will Harley be the most annoying character in any movie ever?
>>67775004
That's actually pretty funny. So is the "George?" post from earlier. /tv/ should write a script
>>67775095
probably
will feel it even more because retards will actually like her.
Unlike someone like, say, BrBa's Skyler... Everyone think she's annoying as fuck.
But Harley will be praised everywhere by people like this >>67773218
>Harley is happy to see mr J
>Will Smith turns to Joker
>Is she with you?
>record scratch
>I thought thought she was with you!
>>67770823
>>67770873
>>67770952
>>67771057
>>67771096
>>67771175
>>67771250
>>67771257
>>67771343
>>67771576
>>67771560
>>67771637
>>67771645
>>67771822
>>67772457
>>67772589
>>67772591
ITT: /TV/ WRITES THE JOKES FOR SUCIDE SQUAD AND DOESN'T REALIZE DC WILL STEAL THEM
>>67770659
All those non Tom hardy big guys... Sad desu
>"So why they call him Killer Croc?"
>*door opens*
>See Killer Croc kill someone
>"So that's why"
>>67775004
>The suicide squad patrolling the streets run into a thief stealing from an Apple Store
They wouldn't be doing this though. Suicide squad are told to do very specific things then they go back to jail
>>67771057
Hah!
>>67772377
waste of dubs
>>67777562
would've been funny if you got 7x7 with that post.
well. mildly funny.
>>67777777
>>67777777
>>67770659
"What's up Croc?"
"Sorry sugar, my favorite flavor is lemon meringue, not Boomerang hehehe"
"You know Slipknot is my second favorite band, can you guess the first? META."
fuck this garbage
>oi so cunts who on first eh
>>67770873
You could write for these guys.
GOTCHA SUCKERS
>>67770659
>look like cosplayers
>look way too generic
>look way too similar
>>67770951
>I'll just write a normal post and try to be funny.
>Better say cucked again just in case.
>>67770659
Who is the villain in this?
'so I guess we're some kind of flopping movie'
I guess we're some type of suicide Squad. Well let's do this
>getting jiggy with it starts playing while they walk in slomo
>>67770873
That's pretty good
>>67780304
well, you didn't get it
