Screen writing general!
Post your WIPs, your completed shorts or features for critique, short films you've made, even just a logline you think would make an interesting story.
Also, there seems to be crossover between /swg/ and general threads about the industry. So is anyone working in Television or Film, or wants to work in the industry? Maybe going to film school?
Fucking finally. Bumping.
Now I finally have a script going that I can actually share.Not gonna post until you tell me to.
>screenwriters
>filmmakers
>on /TV/
Top lel OP
>>67625189
OP here, post that shit and I'll give it a read.
>>67625198
It's more like Hobbyists, but we get shit done.
I got my neo-noir script I had to write with those guys that had never seen a noir done. Posting in a second.
>>67625311
https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B6uwaxNQt5HRTThUYjVJOTNkcWs
Here we are. I'm gonna have to pull off a fucking miracle if I want this to look like a decent short.
>>67625189
Fucking do it, nigger.
>>67625446
By contrast, here's the silent short I wrote with another friend of mine, for a different class. Loosely borrowing from the humor of Jacques Tati's Playtime.
I wrote the lion's share of this script, so I'm a little more confident in it.
https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B6uwaxNQt5HRSDJzOUFkNjJyNzQ
>>67625234
>>67625522
I really don't mean to build it up or anything. I was afk for a while.
I don't know which page to post so which page (out of 40)?And don't you dare fucking call it fan fiction, it's a spec script
>>67626066
Let's start at the beginning, Page 1.
>>67626104This was probably a bad idea.
Should I bother with details like writing stuff like "fade in" "int" and shit if I never wrote a screenplay before?
>>67626156
You have to do that.
>>67626156
Absolutely, read up on that beforehand.
Try screenwriting.io if you're confused
>>67626192
>>67626241
Is there a tutorial you recommend for that? I mean, I know I can just google and be done with it but you know a really good one.
>>67626254
>but maybe
Fix'd
>>67625446
>https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B6uwaxNQt5HRTThUYjVJOTNkcWs
I liked it, it was funny. What did you mean by "multiple endings"? Would they come one after each other completely? I enjoyed the current ending, it's a nice, light-hearted twist.
>>67626066
Page 1, I think a minimum of 10 at least, maybe cut off after a scene break.
Here's part of the script I'm working on. There's a bit too much scene description, but I needed to get it all down to illustrate it in my head. I think it stands on it's own without further introduction, so it'd great for a read and a critique.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BwnLo4eiFUKDVHkxWmF1bEFBUVU/view?usp=sharingI also wrote a short about someone cheating on his boyfriend with a woman, but I posted it enough that I think those who would read it have read it.Here it is anyways: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BwnLo4eiFUKDcW92MEtNM2t2dGs/view?usp=sharing
>>67626283
Skipping to Pg 4 because major spoilers (also it's shit).
>>67626156
Yes, it's an industry requisite. If you're gonna practice, practice right.
>>67626283
Yeah, it'd be sorta like Clue where it's like you get to choose which ending works.
If you don't know who Ethan is, do your research.
How do I write a character based on me or someone I know without it being totally obvious?
>>67626881
To be honest, not most people who read it will know you. So feel free to just use yourself as a basis, but be careful about other people, you might want to change one or two significant things that will trickle down to other traits and values.
>>67626987
What about famous people? Do I just make them as fictitious as possible while still trying to convey that they're based on certain real life figures?
>>67627030
Yeah, but famous people are even more dangerous, more likely to get mad and sue if they recognize themselves, especially if you're committing slander.
I'd honestly avoid using real celebrities, until they are completely unrecognizable, and then there's no point.
>>67627030
Look how well that turned out for Orson Welles (Citizen Kane)
>>67626283
>I enjoyed the current ending, it's a nice, light-hearted twist.
The Redbox twist is gonna stay the same, the endings change who gets shot. Here it's both guys, but in another only Nick gets shot and Jonathan walks off with the case.
>>67626283
That script was really neat. A cool little heist with sci-fi elements, I like that shit.
Protip: you only need to capitalize characters names when first introducing them.
>>67626150
Don't do this
>>67627896
Thanks for giving it a read! The rest of the movie kinda revolves around the heist, pre-planning and the consequences, it's the climax at the end of the first act.
And yeah, I just all caps so I can keep track of the names in the scene descriptions. It's apparently more of writer-director habit, but I've just gotten it entranced in my mind.
>>67627967
That could be really cool. I normally am against lengthy dialogue but it really works here.
>>67628063
*lengthy scene descriptions
>>67626150
It feels like it drones on or dances around the point. I can't tell whether there are typos in this or if the wording isn't right, but whatever it is you ought to give it another read yourself and try to keep everything cohesive. I read the entire page (out of respect) and i'm still not quite sure what it is.
Been hoping for some critiques of this script entitled The Incredible Inevitable Introverted Existential Inside Out Exploding Adventures of [TITLE PENDING]
It's a comedy, btw
http://pastebin.com/rkrxPuEj
>>67628111
>still not quite sure what it is.
Think it's an X-Files script m8
>>67628063
Yeah, the scene descriptions are definitely on the longer side, I'll probably cut back on them by the "final" draft.
I plan for a big driving force of the film to be the relationship between Isabella, Daniel, Yejun, and Seo-Yun, and how their independent goals and faults causes a rift in their close ties. However, I still want the movie to be mainly plotted around the heist and a conspiracy behind it, so it moves at a good clip instead of getting stalled on the interpersonal play.
>>67626150
Read the screenplay of (and just watch) Badlands (1973) to see how to write the fuck out of voice over.
