What's his first line gonna be in Ep VIII?
>>67347717
BLACK
'Kept you waitinhuh?'
hey everyone
>>67347717
"I'm contractually obligated to be here."
>>67347717
"Luke here. Youre probably wondering why im teaching this chick the ways of the force. Well.... it kinda started like this" Insert flashback
>>67347717
"Who the fuck are you?"
>>67347717
Rey: "Luke Skywalker?"
Luke: "Yup, that's me. I guess you're probably wondering how I got here..."
>>67347717
"that's a big saber"
He dies of a heart attack before saying anything
"hey, girlfriend!"
>*record scratch*
>"so you're probably wondering how I got here"
>"let's take it back"
>rewinds through the previous films
>gets to the part where vader cuts his hand off
>"yep that's me"
>big red arrow points to his hand
>*ding*
>"oh yeah and that's my hand"
...
"Now I am Yoda"
>>67347717
He'll prolly choke up and call her his daughter or something.
>>67347797
>>67347813
>>67347834
How does /tv/ stay so fresh and original
>>67347717
Am I being detained
"You're my Rey of sunshine."
I'm just so tired of all these Star Wars™
>>67347803
IN 4 ABY, I WALKED THE EMPEROR UP ON STAGE, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? I KNEW HAN SOLO IN 0 ABY. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?
"There's a force awakening in my pants"
"I'm too old for this shit!"
Rey: "I believe this belongs to you."
Luke: "I need an adult!I need an adult!" Record scratch. Yep, thats me Luke Skywalker. Youre probably wondering how i got here in the first place. Well.... to answer that question we have to go a little further back
>"come here girl"
>grabs Rey by the throat
>proceeds to face fuck her
>pins her over a nearby rock
>tears streaming down her face
>pounds his force enhanced penis inside her
>blood everywhere
Raimi really takes things to far
we wuz jedi 'n shit
>>67347933
>"I'm too old for this sith!"
I'll take it from here Rey, back to Jakku with you.
>>67347865
I don't even remember what this is a reference to :(
>>67348000
Wasted trips
>>67347813
I thought this was a dumb, forced meme but I saw The Fifth Wave (ugh. ugh.) last night and they used this exact fucking trope. Seriously. With five screenwriters.
>>67347717
"Doctor Pavel"
>>67348028
There are dozens of movies, usually pretty mediocre ones, that use that film trick. For an example of a good one, check out the beginning of the movie Kick-Ass.
"three words: intergalactic role-playing chatroom dude"
>>67347717
Maybe the years of isolation had him going mad and he acts like Yoda when he was first introduced.
>This girl has no patience
>>67348097
It's like poetry.
>>67348069
Another one that did it was the first Spider-Man. With the "nope, that's me" and then it shows him chasing after the bus.
>>67347717
SHADOWS AND DUST
>>67347717
Bitches aint shit.
>>67347865
Get this hothead outta here
I dunno how to tell you this but that's not mine.
"I wasn't peeing, I swear"
I'd love to see him put a walkie-talkie to his ear as he's looking at her and be, like, "come in... Rey..." like all Ghostbusters-like, and channelling Peter Venkman lol and then Rey uses her like telekinesis Force stuff to pretend she's Slimer and flying at him and hahah lol she stops right before she "slimes" him and says, "hah! Gooled ya!" amd then like the ghotsbuster theme starts playing but then it gts all seriouis and star wars like klol
>>67347717
There is a specter haunting the empire, the specter of communism.
>I've been waiting for you, Rey. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the master; now *I* am the Yoda.
>Only a Yoda of evil, father. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>>67348261
My wife's daughter! Im so glad to finally meet you.
*farts*
>>67348062
Uh, you don't get to bring friends.
>>67347717
Rey, I'm JEDI
>>67348343
"that's a big jaw"
Realistically, something like "You should not be here"
"You're a big girl."
He'll walk towards her but then straight past and to his little home like yoda, saying nothing until he gets there.
You know this to be true.
>>67347717
Who are you?
Tell me, do you bleed?
>>67347717
>I miss Sheev
NORMIE GET OFF MY PLANET REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>67348483
"Who the fuck are you? Can't you guys leave me alone even in a desert island in a desert planet, for fuck's sake"
>>67347717
>Ayo hol up.. you finna tell me that's my muthafucking lightsabaa?!
>Why are you giving me a stick? I'm a human, not a dog.
Noooooooooooooooooooo.
It'd be like poetry.
Sheev, is that you?
>>67347717
"Fuck off, Mary Sue"
>Following his near-fatalduelwithObi-Wan KenobionMustafarin19 BBY,Darth Vader received a mobilelife supportsystem encased in a suit of distinctive black armor.
>Darth Vader's armor(serial number: E-3778Q-1) was designed to maintain and protect the youngSith apprentice's charred body while exuding an air of intimidation and control. His suit followed an ancientSith tradition, in which the warriors of thedark side of the Forcewould adorn themselves in heavyarmor. The suit's construction incorporatedSith alchemyto augment Vader's severely diminished physical strength and vitality.
>The suit provided a suite of life-support systems and gave Vader relatively free movement without having to use ahoverchair. It was damaged or broken several times during its use, necessitating upgrades and repairs. The suit was finally irreparably broken in4 ABY, when Vader absorbed EmperorPalpatine's powerfulForce lightning aboard thesecond Death Starto save his son,Luke Skywalker, from certaindeath. After Vader's death, Lukeceremonially crematedhis father's empty armor on theforest moon of Endor.
>Thearmorencased Vader completely, creating a hermetic seal to protect his charred skin and lungs. It was also uncomfortable to wear. Vader slowly learned to live with the isolation and anonymity that the suit imposed on him. Vader had to change hislightsaberstyle to compensate for the weight, bulk, and inflexibility of his armor. The electronics of the suit were sensitive to electrical discharges, though Vader added a limited amount of insulation to the suit after discovering this. To escape the armor's claustrophobic nature, Vader had several pressurizedmeditation chambersbuilt where he could remove his mask and suit and still survive. Vader longed to be less dependent on his armor, and tried at times to function without it, but he labored in vain.
>>67348097
I can see this happening,
>>67347894
top kek
"I'm gonna teach you all known highground technics, my padawan"
>>67348069
The Wolf of Wall Street does this too.
GUYS AND DOLLS GUYS AND DOLLS
REY BE A JEDI TONIGHT
>>67347717
I'm a big guy now
>>67348069
Megamind does it too.
>>67347797
>>67347813
>>67347834
>>67347965
>record scratch
>"so you're probably wondering how I got here"
>caption says "death star high school, 1 aby"
>vaguely-futuristic high school
>literally the Death Star but with lockers
>banner across hall reads "holochess finals, d.s.h.s. vs rebel c.i."
>blink-182 riff in background
>sheev and Vader pushing kid into locker
>freezes
>"yup... that's me. no, not the ones pushing that dweeb in the locker"
>resumes
>sheev and Vader run off as principal tarkin approaches
>scrawny kid slowly emerges from locker, banana peel on head
>"nope, that's me"
>title comes up
>"Star Wars viii: senior year"
Did you just throw a lightsaber at me?
The fuck, I'm a Jedi not a dog.
>>67348069
Spiderman 1 does it
>>67348122
Somehow though, based Raimi makes it work
>>67347717
>you shouldn't have come here, rey
>leia... sent you?
>ben?
>let's begin
not even joking about these.
"I shall train you in the ways of the Force so you can fight in the upcoming Star Wars™."
>>67347717
>But I know that I'll be coming back some day
>i'll be playing this part till I'm old and grey.
>the Long-term contract I had to sign says I'll be making these movies till the end of time
>with my Yoda
>Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda
>Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda
>>67347717
Hopefuly he will just mind trick her into sucking dick.
