Took me a long time but I finally watched Jurassic World.
What was /tv/s take on it?
Absolute Kino especially scene in pic.
I would compare it to TFA, The hobbit trilogy, and AoU: Horrible Hollywood cash grabs that do more for selling merchandise than telling a story.
it's shit
Felt like a similar, but unrelated movie that somehow got the name placed on it. The final fight with Indy reminded me of Warpath on PS1, though.
>>67119212
Is give it a Solid B
I want to give aunt Claire my solid D tho
>>67121234
only thing that kept me going desu
>>67119212
Pretty average in all aspects except 1
>>67119212
Is very average
>dat bdh
>>67119212
Those big plastic ball things were so stupid as if the public were able to drive them themselves. Just this asking for a dinosaur disaster
>>67119288
Force awakens is way better jurassic world
>>67121524
Tfa was dog shit
>>67121202
>final fight with Indy
wrong movie dude lol
>>67121524
They're both the same shit, except one has a hot actress
>>67121499
Trackless ride ie universals new kong ride or tdrs pooh ride
>>67121543
Found a hater who critisises fta for no reason apart from remake lies
I was disappointed the velociraptors weren't riding bikes along side him. They could have worn shades too.
>>67121647
We fucking love FTA, don't know what your talking about. Mass transit ftw m8
>>67121543
memes memes memes memes reddit reddit reddit reddit memes memes memes memes reddit reddit reddit reddit
>>67121584
The Kong rude isn't operated by the general public
shit
terrible shit
>>67121499
The creators of that island made several very questionable decisions in terms of security.
Creating dozens of aggressive flying dinosaurs who attack humans at sight for example.
>>67121711
Shit, I might not be allowed in Universal ever again
It would have been decent as the second and third acts of an actual good movie. It lacked the slow burn of the first movie and Lost World, where we spend time getting to know the characters and setting up further developments (like Grant's kid issues and Malcolm's daughter being disobedient and black, for... some reason). As a result the characters are flat and since the audience can't really relate to them every time there is danger the Dinos might as well be chasing squeaky chew toys.
The whole "militarize the dinosaurs" shit was stupid and added nothing. The I-rex was occasionally threatening but kind of uninspired, aside from the few hints that it was sentient.
Other than that, there was some decent dino action and the Indian guy who replaced Hammond was based. Also, sweaty and panting Auntie Clair.
The final scene sealed the entire deal for me.
Greatest movie of the franchise. If you didnt enjoy that handicap match you are heartless
Also anything with BD Wong is an instant 8/10.
>>67121568
>when you realize that Daisy Ridley is gonna look like this one day
>>67119288
There are movies in the Star Wars series as cringeworthy as Jurassic World, and neither of them were TFA.
>>67121730
Everything with wings is an asshole.
>>67121679
You havent watched the parody trailer I take it
>>67119212
Dude, stop. If kino = shit then there's literally no reason to be here.
>>67121584
Are you implying the new Kong ride let's people drive the trucks
>>67121819
Is there a reason to be here that isn't memes?
Be honest with yourself
>>67119212
What about Chris Pratt? Does all think he did a good job at replace "the guy from jurassic park"?
>>67119212
One of the worst pieces of shit i've seen in my life. Disjointed story-lines and themes, unlikable characters, pathetic attempts to cater to the old fans by inserting 'references' to the original JP. Completely forgettable.
>>67121761
The final scene was like something out of the Land Before Time, where the good dinosaurs team up to kill the bad dinosaur and then run off to live happily ever after. The park isn't even back under control, they just killed the I-Rex and let the raptor and T-rex and who knows what else go off to menace people while the credits roll. There's no way they managed to evacuate 50,000 people in that short time frame.
>>67119212
Jurassic World: like a 6/10
Claire parts: muh dick/10
So overall enjoyable time
>>67121819
Kino is a german word. Are u german?
>>67119212
aunt claire is literally the only reason i like this movie.
>>67121898
Claire was horrible i wanted to slap her
>>67121877
He was literally whatever/10. Could have been any other actor and the movie would be the same.
>>67121955
Die
>>67121970
Yeah I agree. So hope he doesnt play indiana jones. He just doesnt have the charisma at all. Sure he may be handsome but meh does nothing for me as a lead
>>67121234
When she got all sweaty I was really wanting those mercenaries to push her into a shed and rape her.
>>67121955
>cock slap her
Fixed this for you D E S U S E N P A I
>>67121877
What was up with that scene?
When I saw him taking out that tooth, I was sure there would be a certain plotpoint to that action because the movie didn't really spend time with scenes which didn't contribute to the film in one way or the other.
>>67121915
Kino is a German word in Germany and an overly flexible meme word on /tv/.
>>67122116
>swn slap you for catching you masturbating to her, and then grab your dick and say "thats my job, sweetie"
Jurassic World was first draft crap. They could have made it good with a few rewrites
Why bring up the kids parents problems when the entire film is about their aunt?
That they never see...but care that she's not around to take them on a cool tour ?
What is is with the romance between memelord and red hot auntie? They say they didn't like each other after one date?
Why make the kid autistic but then..not
Why does half the cgi look good and other half look like shit?
Why the fuck was the killoasaurus the "new attraction" but the trained raptors the military weapon? Why wouldn't it be the opposite ?? The invisible Frankenstein Killing machine should have been the military weapon and the raptors could be like trained lions at the circus
JP 10/10
TLW 8/10
JPIII 6/10
JW 5/10
>Jurassic Park = Lotr trilogy
>Jurassic World = The Hobbit trilogy
That's what I thought about the quality.
>literally: meh, the flick
worst in the franchise
JP > TLW >>> JW >> JP3
>>67122090
Rape her? Woahh dude I would like them to give her a head, foot massage with some nice cuddles
>>67122317
good boy
>>67121524
Both were crap, horribly paced movies cashing in on a franchise name. Both had cringeworthy dialogue and references to the older movies, and both had stupid half-assed plots that were weakly structured to fit in action and cgi scenes.
The only difference is that TFA is part of a bigger franchise with a larger fanbase, and the movie played it safe by recycling plot points from ep4.
Jurassic world could have been a fine movie if they didn't write in the stupidest "muh military dinosaurs" subplot in there. It made no fucking sense and was only included because there had to be SOME kind of human antagonist involved.
>>67119212
I really wanted to like it, but it's just so cartoony. The ideas weren't wrong, but they just couldn't help but go slightly overboard with it. Felt like a Marvel movie.
>>67122504
I felt the same way.
There were no tense moments nor did I care about any of the characters.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5Co3A3fLBo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PscRUlsvhtI
JP had those moments and they've become unforgettable.
I loved it, but I still rewatch walking with dinosaurs every now and then even though 90% of it is out of date.
Definitely not as good as JP1, I don' think you could ever make another JP film as good as the first without it going balls to the wall ridiculous. Kinda wished some of the dinosaurs had feathers, but I know I'm in the minority, and it made sense in the movie. The nannys death was horrifying and funny at the same time, and it triggered sjws so I got a hearty chuckle out of that.
>>67123111
>The nannys death was horrifying and funny at the same time, and it triggered sjws
Is that when that chick got picked up by that bird thing then got ate by the megaladon?
>>67123171
Yep, eaten by a mosasaurus.
Fun fact: They have an inner jaw in their mouth.
>>67123306
That was the best scene in the movie. Did sjw's really get mad about that?
>>67121780
>thinking anyone was talking about that ugly horse
>>67119212
Director was smart enough to see the movie was a joke and make sure all the actors didn't take it seriously. Makes me slightly less worried about Star Wars 9 being a complete train wreck.
Other than that, it's complete shit. Awful script, and bad action and teenage actors who can't act. Only did well because people love dinosaurs and / or giant robots fighting. See transformers.
>>67123463
Yeah, because she died "for no reason". They don't understand that not everyone has a reason to die. Having said that, the director is a fucking idiot because when asked about it he called her bridezilla.
>>67123689
Funny how they got angry about that but not a peep about all the tourists that got massacred when the flying things got out
>>67121730
>Creating dozens of aggressive flying dinosaurs who attack humans at sight for example.
So like every other carnivore dinosaur.
>>67119288
I've literally never seen any merchandise from this film.
>>67121885
Did you miss the scene where the velociraptor asks Chris Pratt if he can eat the children? I honestly thought it was a bittersweet ending proving humans and dinosaurs can't really function as friends.
>>67121679
>he hasn't played the Lego game
