>Implying your body could ever be ready
THANK YOU BASED SHARLTO
>>66810599
Literally a spiritual sequel to Crank 2
>>66811007
Is that an insult or a compliment
>>66811389
Nigga have you never seen Crank 2
It's a fucking masterpiece
>>66811389
>having the barest inkling to think that comparing anything to the kinectic kino that is Crank and its sequel is negative
Reddit is that way.
>>66811434
Oh, *I* know this. But you can never tell with this board.
Also, Crank > Crank 2
im gonna trip my nuts off and see this.
>>66811434
>he actually likes 2 over the original
You have poor taste
I'm fairly hype
>>66811488
Normally I'd be inclined to disagree with you because I fucking love Crank 2 but in all honesty Crank is a lot more tightly plotted and grounded (sorta), and it builds the world a lot better. Crank 2 just threw you straight into the pool.
>>66811709
I feel like this watching OP trailer tho.
In terms of intensity, I'm feeling
Crank > Being Chased by the Cops > Crank 2 > A Pile of Cocaine > Sex with Christy Mack with Warmachine sleeping in the next room > Hardcore Henry
>>66811801
>Sex with Christy Mack with Warmachine sleeping in the next room
Kek
>>66811639
And you hate fun.
I've never seen crank.
>>66811959
it sucks
>>66811959
It's fucking incredible. Definition of a dumb action movie.
The second one takes anything even remotely plausible about the first and tosses it out the fucking window, so it's basically filmic adrenaline, and it's fantastic.
>>66811982
>I am a 12-year-old girl
>>66812028
Compare it to shoot em up. I've seen that.
>>66812104
OHH SHIT NIGGA
Well, to be honest, Shoot 'em Up's a lot more clean and polished than Crank. While they both have the same sense of black humor and ideas about violence, Crank is supposed to take place sort of in the mind of the character, so they get a lot more inventive with how they progress the plot and how they do the cinematography. It's a lot more down and dirty, or as some might call it "punk rock", but that's the beauty of it.
Basically, think of Shoot 'em Up as the Hollywood version, and Crank as the indie version.
>>66810599
>tfw watch this with VR
>>66812104
What about porn? Have you seen porn?
>Shoot 'Em Up = Making out on the couch with the lights on
>Crank = Fucking a supermodel doggie-style while a barely-legal porn star holds your balls
>>66812454
so whats Crank 2 in that scenario
>>66812305
Also I should say, they develop the main character a lot better in Crank. Whereas Smith was just some literal nameless badass, Chev (FUCKIN') Chelios is ever so slightly more nuanced.
looks like an hour long unskippable video game cutscene
>>66812481
Same thing, but you're on coke and the bed is in the middle of a park.
>>66810599
Someone link the music video this is based off. I haven't seen it in forever but I swear some of the scenes in the trailer were lifted straight from the video.
>>66812481
>>66812522
kek
>>66812528
>https://youtu.be/Rgox84KE7iY
I think it's actually made by these guys, so it's not that much of a stretch.>>66812528
>>66810599
>dem air force ones
>>66812585
Yeah, that's what I figured. If not, I'd be pretty pissed someone ripped off my video.
>>66812545
Do not let your mom walk in on you watching it.
>>66812522
I was gonna say "pile of cocaine and ten cheerleaders standing by to cheer you on" but basically the same thing.
>you will never receive oral from a gorgeous blonde whilst shooting two guns out the windows of a speeding car, in the middle of a car chase
>>66812662
>tfw my mom walked in on me and a buddy of mine watching Crank
>tfw it was literally the only non-insane scene in the movie (establishing shot of the inside of a warehouse)
Felt awesome.
>>66812305
I never got the high praise for Shoot 'em up. I'ts really tame and loses steam halfway through the movie, and the movie just has this looming cloud of "irony" above it.
Crank is pure honest to god action, Neveldine/Taylor are great. If you haven't watch Gamer andGhost Rider" Spirit of Vengeance
>>66812712
>threading the needle
>>66812720
The carrot deaths, sex shootout scene, and a handful of other scenes kept it fresh for me. Once you watch it with the knowledge thatIt's literally a Bugs Bunny cartoon, and Smith is Bugs and Paul Giammati is Elmer Fuddit gets a lot more fun. The Warehouse scene with the traps is like the pinnacle of that.
>it's a Sharlto is a robot/cyborg episode
>>66812814
>It's literally a Bugs Bunny cartoon, and Smith is Bugs and Paul Giammati is Elmer Fudd
HOLY SHIT
HOW DID I NOT GET THAT THE FIRST TIME I WATCHED IT
>>66812585
The only thing bad about that video is that everyone is wearing a suit.
>>66812996
Did the carrots not tip you off?
>>66812814
Yeah it has good action, but it was trying to ape John Woo and Hong Kong movies but adding that forceful american comedy touch
>>66812585
The director of the movie is the director of that video and the band's frontman
>>66810599
I think I'll just play Call of Duty myself instead of paying to watch other people do it.
>>66813229
Eh, I didn't really mind that all that much. It's supposed to be a satire of American action films, and I think it does that beautifully.
Also I love how my very first post turned this into a Crank/Crank 2/Shoot 'em Up thread.
>>66813029
But suits look cool.
>>66811434
is that the movie where he fucks that blonde bitch raw in public? got so hard.
>>66814259
>in public
You're gonna have to be more specific.
>>66814319
Bent over a mailbox while a bus-full of Japanese school girls watch.
"Crank" is literally the manliest movie ever made.
>>66812585
>those airplanes
Why are Russian movies be king like this?
Is it because of what the real Russia has become?
