GF of two years left me yesterday and I'm feeling broken as fuck
I need the best of /tv/ humour in my hour of need
Cheer me up bros
Imagine being Arnold and having to feign interest in 1990's Jaime Lee Curtis, and other humorous anecdotes culminating in a hypothetical of him killing everyone.
me? i'd serve crab legs.
The flight plan I just filed with the Agency lists Smee, Maimen, Dr. Pavelier, Button Lee, Juan O'veus, Virs Juan, Tatahk, Getsda Stae, Onmai Aircraft, Wu Pait, Yuu Tugrab, Dr. Pavel, Heed Iddent, Flai Sogud.
>>64318976
Made me laugh
I just want to laugh and forget
Thank you bros
Dad of 12 years left me a few years ago
>>64319019
This thread could turn into a shelter for hurt anons who just want to laugh
>gf of two years leaves me
>it ain't me starts playing
>>64318840
Just watch any of the following
Snatch
Hot Fuzz
In Bruges
other acceptable choices
Worlds End
This is the End
>>64318840
>GF
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Something about Scorpion jackets.
hehe FOR YOU amirite?
>gf of three years leaves
>feel less shit a few months later
it gets better senpai
>>64319019
the fuck is a dad of 12 years
if you're only 12 get the fuck off
>Obvious Redditor trying to get people to post memes so he can repost them for those sweet upvotes
![Married With Children - 0422 - The Agony of Defeet.mp4_snapshot_01.32_[2015.12.22_22.03.39].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/ZuvYRwt.jpg "Married With Children - 0422 - The Agony of Defeet.mp4_snapshot_01.32_[2015.12.22_22.03.39].jpg")
>>64318840
watch Married With Children, bro
and stay clear of Moral Orel
>>64318840
>GF of two years
What the hell are you doing in place like this normie, quieres morir?
>>64319109
>a few years ago
8 in fact
You can guess my age now
>>64319113
OP here
I wish that were the case
It's not
She's gone
>>64318840
iktf OP. My wife's son ran away yesterday, and I miss him a lot.
>>64319132
You guys make me laugh
When you're on form you're hilarious
And that's what I need right now
>>64318840
Happy New Year's!
>>64319164
Go hire a hooker then. Cheaper alternative: take some coke to a bar
>>64319164
>waaaaaah guys pay attention to me ;_;
Eat shit, Redditor. Now get off my board before I really get mad.
>>64319216
Why would I want to do that?
That's utterly pointless
>>64318840
Don't worry bro. She just wants to get BLACKED for new years. She'll get back with you in a few days.
>>64319223
Ho-Ho-Ho
No
>>64319250
I hope that doesn't happen but I do hope I can get back with her
I'll report back if that happens
Which I doubt
>>64319238
bust a nut to clear your head and move on with your life
>>64318976
top kek
>>64319321
Cuck
>>64319321
KEKAMANIA IS RUNNING RAMPANT ON YOU BROTHA
>>64318840
My gf of 6 years broke up with me around this time last year. It came completely out of nowhere and so was a big shock at the time, but really I stopped caring after a few months. I realized that it's an extremely rare woman who actually adds anything of value to your life besides sex.
>>64319343
>>64319116
what is this?
>>64319388
I know that will probably be the case but right now I can't help but feel like shit
Just need laughs to cheer me up
So far so good I've had a few keks
>Tfw GF of 2 years broke up with me by sending a pic of her blowing 2 guys at a party
You have no idea how horrible it feels. Your blood turns to ice and you don't know how to react. That's probably why I'm almost 25 now and stilll live with my parents.
>>64319388
I realised this recently.
>>64319116
>"if you could teach me how to drive a standard, I would be so happy."
>>64319477
wow
>>64319477
What are you complaining about? She openly outed herself as a whore who is not worth caring about. If it's still hard for you to cut emotional ties after that then you need to get a grip.
>22 years old
>Sitting in my room, on my own
>Downstairs there's a party
>Friends who I'm slowly drifting from at various parties
>Haven't been able to go downstairs to get any food all day
>Decide to go down because I can't take the hunger
>Family I haven't seen for years stops and stares wondering who the fuck it is
>They realise, I keep going into the kitchen, through the people
>See people whisper in other peoples ears, staring.
>My mum looks embarrassed, but comes and sees me whilst I look for something to eat
>How are you feeling? She says.
>At this point I'm a nervous, anxious wreck on the inside after walking through the living room
>Don't say a word just quickly grab some bread and a bag of crisps
>Go back through the living room with my eyes nearly closed
>Brush past cousin, who is a grill
>I drop my bread and crisps
>somebody steps back and stands on the bread
>It's pretty dark so don't see where crisps have gone so just carry on upstairs
>Mum comes up 10 minutes later with 2 crisp sandwiches and leaves without saying a word.
>>64319670
Please tell me you're fibbing
>>64319477
I know the feel of being cheated on. It's something that changed me
>>64319670
Jesus man don't tell me that's real.
First, go hug your mom when the party is over. Second, learn to get shit faced in front of your family, it's fun.
>>64319477
Get a job and get back out there or you'll suffer my fate. I thought I was popular with lots of friends, until one day there was this big party. I never got invited, so I guessed people assumed I was coming. When I got there, the people who I thought were my friends for like 8 years laughed in my face and told me they never liked me and that none of them wanted to tell me to fuck off. After that I just spent my time on MMOs or watching anime or whatever, the days just burnt away. I'm 30 and still live with my parents, and I have never had sex.
>>64318886
Lmao.
>>64319755
It's never too late man
>>64319670
You just copied this from another thread but changed it so instead of the mom saying she loves him she says nothing
GB2 reddit
>>64319449
>what is this?
THIS IS SPARTA
>>64319784
It hits a bit harder tho innit
It's still 99% true!
>>64319477
She's not worth it bro, she proved to you that she was a nasty whore incapable of actual feeling
I'm just gonna start dumping funny stuff from here.
>>64319073
>This is the End
Good joke
>>64319321
If a woman leaves you, don't ever "get back" with her.
If they leave, it's done. Don't be such a pathetic guy to get back with her.
We've all been where you're at (well, most of us) and we've all wanted to get back with the girl. Just be strong and if she comes running back, tell her that she ruined her shot with you then go find someone better that know what great guy you are and won't just leave you because they wake up one day and want something new.
>>64319477
You better keep that relationship and marry that girl because you won't get better than her.
>>64319019
>dad
dont you mean moms husband?
>>64319833
Take off your fedora m8. Its their best movie and is pretty good throughout.
>>64319903
>>64319860
But what if I'm not a great guy?
Shit it took me 18 years to find someone willing to stick around with me
>>64319903
So relateble/ jdsmia
>>64319939
>>64319936
>it's their best movie!
>posts a picture of their actual best movie
>>64319903
ryan gosling is literally me
>>64319670
Nope I refuse to believe this.
>>64319965
>>64319781
It's too late. The only time I go outside is to take my parents dog out for the toilet, but the last time a bunch of kids walked past and started pointing and sniggering. I tired it ignore them but one of them started throwing stones and shit at the dog, and that's when I told them to stop and to leave me alone. They just repeated everything I said in a stupid voice and kept laughing. I rushed back in with the dog and they don't make me take him for a shit anymore. It was the lowest I'd felt in months
>>64319477
That reminds me of how my gf dumped me on 9/10 and ran off just before we went on a trip to NY. I even had to give a speech during her funeral about how great she was, even though she was blacked and I'm not just talking about her body they pulled from the wreckage.
A gem I screencapped on /int/
>>64320012
>>64320051
Sound like a plot to a movie desu
>>64320061
holy shitting christ
>>64320085
is anyone reading these or should I stop posting
>>64319965
You have your world ending movies backwards then, and I did list hot fuzz over worlds end
>>64320171
you can stop
>>64320171
>>64320181
Oh shit you're right. Totally thought you were talking about World's End. My bad bro.
>>64320171
Op here
I'm enjoying it
>>64320383
here bb. always makes me laugh. I'm alcohol now so its even better/
>>64319755
pathetic
